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I Mourn My Old Life Here. We Barely Scraped By, But I Knew Where I Fit In, I Knew What My Place Was In The Tightly Interwoven Fabric That Was Our Life. I Wish I Could Go Back To It Because, In Retrospect, It Seems So Secure Compared To Now, When I Am So Rich And Famous And So Hated By The Authorities In The Capitol.

-Suzanne Collins

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I Mourn My Old

Suzanne Collins

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I Mourn My Old Life Here. We Barely Scraped By, But I Knew Where I Fit In, I Knew What My Place Was In The Tightly Interwoven Fabric That Was Our Life. I Wish I Could Go Back To It Because, In Retrospect, It Seems So Secure Compared To Now, When I Am So Rich And Famous And So Hated By The Authorities In The Capitol.

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Whenever I Write A Story, I Hope It Appeals To Both Boys And Girls.

She’s Really Gone, Then. The Little Girl With The Back Of Her Shirt Sticking Out Like A Duck Tail, The One Who Needed Help Reaching The Dishes, And Who Begged To See The Frosted Cakes In The Bakery Window. Time And Tragedy Have Forced Her To Grow Too Quickly, At Least For My Taste, Into A Young Woman Who Stitches Bleeding Wounds And Knows Our Mother Can Hear Only So Much.

Telling A Story In A Futuristic World Gives You This Freedom To Explore Things That Bother You In Contemporary Times.

I Had To Do That. At Least Once.

Every Day When I Wake I Tell Myself That It Will Be My Last. If You Are Not Trying To Hold On To Time, You Are Not So Afraid Of Losing It... And Then, If You Make It To Bedtime, You Feel The Joy Of Cheating Death Out Of One More Day.

Because I Have Learned The Hard Way How Deadly These Beauties Can Be.

The Sensation Inside Me Grows Warmer And Spreads Out From My Chest Down Through My Body Out Along My Arms And Legs To The Tips Of My Being. Instead Of Satisfying Me The Kisses Have The Opposite Effect Of Making My Need Greater.

I Know We Promised Haymitch, We'd Do Exactly What They Said, But I Don't Think He Considered This Angle.' 'where Is Haymitch, Anyway? Isn't He Supposed To Protect Us From This Sort Of Thing?' Says Peeta. 'with All That Alcohol In Him, It's Probably Not Advisable To Have Him Around An Open Flame,' I Say.

I Volunteer!" I Gasp. "i Volunteer As Tribute!

So I Learned To Hold My Tongue And To Turn My Features Into An Indifferent Mask So That No One Could Ever Read My Thoughts.

Oh, The Fun We Two Have Together.

Peeta And I Had Adjoining Cells In The Capitol. We're Very Familiar With Each Other's Screams.” Annie, Who's On Johanna's Other Side, Does That Thing Where She Covers Her Ears And Exits Reality. Finnick Shoots Johanna An Angry Look As His Arm Encircles Annie. “what? My Head Doctor Says I'm Not Supposed To Censor My Thoughts. It's Part Of My Therapy,” Replies Johanna.

What Do You Think?" I Whisper To Peeta. "about The Fire?" "i'll Rip Off Your Cape If You'll Rip Off Mine," He Says Through Gritted Teeth.

I Flee What I Can't Fight. What Can Only Do Me Harm.

I Miss Him So Badly It Hurts.

Thinking Like Your Prey. . . That's Where You Find Their Vulnerabilities.

If You Hit Bottom, There's A Whole Lot Of People Here To Help You Up

Because Something Is Significantly Wrong With A Creature That Sacrifices Its Children’s Lives To Settle Its Differences.

My Guess Is That Fearful Events Are The Hardest To Root Out. They're The Ones We Naturally Remember The Best, After All.

She Must Have Really Loved Him To Leave Her Home For The Seam. I Try To Remember That When All I Can See Is The Woman Who Sat By, Blank And Unreachable, While Her Children Turned To Skin And Bones. I Try To Forgive Her For My Father's Sake. But To Be Honest, I'm Not The Forgiving Type.

Still, I Hate Them. But, Of Course, I Hate Almost Everybody Now. Myself More Than Anyone.

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Don't Want That, Do They?” She Throws Back Her Head And Shouts, “whole Country In Rebellion? Wouldn't Want Anything Like That!

They Play In The Meadow. The Dancing Girl With The Dark Hair And Blue Eyes. The Boy With Blond Curls And Gray Eyes, Struggling To Keep Up With Her On His Chubby Toddler Legs. It Took Five, Ten, Fifteen Years For Me To Agree. But Peeta Wanted Them So Badly. When I First Felt Her Stirring Inside Of Me, I Was Consumed With A Terror That Felt As Old As Life Itself. Only The Joy Of Holding Her In My Arms Could Tame It.

A Spark Could Be Enough To Set Them Ablaze.

I’ve Stopped Talking Because There’s Really Nothing Left To Say And There’s This Piercing Sort Of Pain Where My Heart Is. Maybe I’m Even Having A Heart Attack, But It Doesn’t Seem Worth Mentioning.

And Here I Am, Strapped Into A Tree, A Stone's Throw From The Biggest Idiot In The Games.

I'm Not Good At Talking About Myself.

Remember That Even In War There Is A Time For Restraint. A Time To Hold Back Your Sword.

But The Words Are Easy And Soothing, Promising Tomorrow Will Be More Hopeful Than This Awful Piece O Time We Call Today.

I Mourn My Old Life Here. We Barely Scraped By, But I Knew Where I Fit In, I Knew What My Place Was In The Tightly Interwoven Fabric That Was Our Life. I Wish I Could Go Back To It Because, In Retrospect, It Seems So Secure Compared To Now, When I Am So Rich And Famous And So Hated By The Authorities In The Capitol.

They Can't Hurt Me. I'm Not Like The Rest Of You. There's No One Left I Love.

Want A Sugar Cube? [...] They're Supposed To Be For The Horses, But Who Cares? They've Got Years To Eat Sugar, Whereas You And I . . . Well, If We See Something Sweet We Better Grab It Quick. [...] You're Absolutely Terrifying Me In That Get-up. What Happened To The Pretty Little-girl Dresses?

So, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sounds About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks. "whatever It Takes To Break You.

That's Very Funny," Says Peeta. Suddenly He Lashes Out At The Glass In Haymitch's Hand. It Shatters On The Floor, Sending The Bloodred Liquid Running Toward The Back Of The Train. "only Not To Us.

You're Hideous, You Know That, Right?

For Me, It's Better To Wake Up With A Paintbrush Than A Knife In My Hand. -peeta

"if I Could Grow Wings, I Could Fly. Only People Can't Grow Wings," He Say's. "real Or Not Real?" "real," I Say. "but People Don't Need Wings To Survive." "mockingjays Do."

If I'm Going To Die, I Want To Still Be Me

And While I Was Talking, The Idea Of Actually Losing Peeta Hit Me Again And I Realized How Much I Don't Want Him To Die. And It's Not About The Sponsors. And It's Not About What Will Happen When We Get Home. And It's Not Just That I Don't Want To Be Alone. It's Him. I Do Not Want To Lose The Boy With The Bread.

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And Then He Gives Me A Smile That Just Seems So Genuinely Sweet With Just The Right Touch Of Shyness That Unexpected Warmth Rushes Through Me.

That Was The First Time I Ever Saw Him Smile. It Transformed Him From Someone Menacing To Someone You Wished You Knew.

Want A Sugar Cube?" He Asks In His Old Seductive Voice. That's How We Met, With Finnick Offering Me Sugar. Surrounded By Horses And Chariots, Costumed And Painted For The Crowds, Before We Were Allies. Before I Had Any Idea What Made Him Tick. The Memory Actually Coaxes A Smile Out Of Me. "here, It Improves The Taste," He Says In His Real Voice, Plunking Three Cubes Into My Cup.

I Wish Peeta Were Here To Hold Me, Until I Remember I'm Not Supposed To Wish That Anymore. I Have Chosen Gale And The Rebellion, And A Future With Peeta Is The Capitol's Design, Not Mine.

And Then, When He’s Been Underwater So Long I Feel Certain He’s Drowned, His Head Pops Up Right Next To Me And I Start. “don’t Do That,” I Say. “what? Come Up Or Stay Under?” He Says. “either. Neither. Whatever

That It's No Good Loving Me Because I'm Never Going To Get Married Anyway And He'd Just End Up Hating Me Later Instead Of Sooner.

I Don't Care If You Got Knocked Up. I Can Still Rip Your Throat Out

This Is What Birds See. Only They're Free And Safe. The Very Opposite Of Me.

They're A Little Strange, But I'm Pretty Sure Neither Of Them Is Going To Try To Make Me Uncomfortable By Stripping Naked.

Come On And Eat With Him. I Promise, I Won't Let Him Kiss You Again.

Well, I Knew That Goat Would Be A Little Gold Mine," I Say. Yes, Of Course I Was Referring To That, Not The Lasting Joy You Gave Your Sister You Love So Much You Took Her Place In The Reaping," Says Peeta Drily.

As Long As You Can Find Yourself, You’ll Never Starve.

Finding Yourself

To This Day, I Can Never Shake The Connection Between This Boy, Peeta Mellark, And The Bread That Gave Me Hope, And The Dandelion That Reminded Me That I Was Not Doomed.

I Don’t Want Anyone With Me Today. Not Even Him. Some Walks You Have To Take Alone.

If You Are Not Trying To Hold On To Time, You Are Not So Afraid Of Losing It.

Gregor The Overlander

I'll Never Know What It Was He Wanted Me To Remember.

You're Not Going To Die. I Forbid It. All Right?" "all Right," He Whispers.

No, It Happened. And Right When Your Song Ended, I Knew - Just Like Your Mother - I Was A Goner,' Peeta Says.

Sometimes When I'm Alone, I Take The Pearl From Where It Lives In My Pocket And Try To Remember The Boy With The Bread, The Strong Arms That Warded Off Nightmares On The Train, The Kisses In The Arena.

Then I Know Prim Is Right, That Snow Cannot Afford To Waste Peeta's Life, Especially Now, While The Mockingjay Causes So Much Havoc. He's Killed Cinna Already. Destroyed My Home. My Family, Gale, And Even Haymitch Are Out Of His Reach. Peeta's All He Has Left. "so, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sound About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks."whatever It Takes To Break You.

It’s The Final Word In Camouflage. Forget Chucking Weights Around. Peeta Should Have Gone Into His Private Session With The Gamemakers And Painted Himself Into A Tree. Or A Boulder. Or A Muddy Bank Full Of Weeds.

Rue, Who When You Ask Her What She Loves Most In The World, Replies, Of All Things, “music.

And Then, If You Make It To Bedtime, You Feel The Joy Of Cheating Death Out Of One More Day," She Said. "do You See?

I Know What Blood Poisoning Is, Katniss," Says Peeta. "even If My Mother Isn't A Healer." I'm Jolted Back In Time, To Another Wound, Another Set Of Bandages. "you Said That Same Thing To Me In The First Hunger Games. Real Or Not Real?" "real," He Says. "and You Risked Your Life Getting The Medicine That Saved Me?" "real." I Shrug. "you Were The Reason I Was Alive To Do It.

Im Still Betting On You. - Cinna.

The Way She Kissed You In The Quarter Quell…well She Never Kissed Me Like That…i Should Have Volunteered To Take Your Place In The First Games. Protected Her Then…i Guess It’s Katniss’ Problem. Who To Choose…katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can’t Survive Without.

Buttercup, Miserable Even With Prim’s Constant Attention, Huddles In The Cube And Exhales Cat Breath In My Face.

You're Punishing Him Over And Over For Things That Are Out Of His Control.

My Mouth Has Gone Dry As Sawdust. I Desperately Find Cinna In The Crowd And Lock Eyes With Him. I Imagine The Words Coming From His Lips. 'what's Impressed You Most Since You Arrived Here?' I Rack My Brain For Something That Made Me Happy Here. Be Honest, I Think. Be Honest.

The Rat Turned His Glowing Eyes On Him, And Gregor Was Shocked By What He Saw There. The Intelligence, The Deadliness, And, Most Surprisingly, The Pain. This Rat Was Not Like Fangor And Shed. He Was Much More Complicated And Much More Dangerous. For The First Time In The Underland, Gregor Felt Completely Out Of His League. If He Fought This Rat, He Wouldn't Stand A Change. He Would Lose. He Would Be Dead.

I'm Almost There, Almost To The Barricade, When I Thinks She Hears Me. Because For Just A Moment, She Catches Sight Of Me, Her Lips Form My Name. And That's When The Rest Of The Parachutes Go Off.

Don't. Don't Let's Pretend When There's No One Around.

She Reaches In, Digs Her Hand Deep Into The Ball, And Pulls Out A Slip Of Paper. The Crowd Draws In A Collective Breath, And Then You Can Hear A Pin Drop, And I'm Feeling Nauseous And So Desperately Hoping That It's Not Me, That It's Not Me, That It's Not Me. Effie Trinket Crosses Back To The Podium, Smoothes The Slip Of Paper, And Reads Out The Name In A Clear Voice. And It's Not Me. It's Primrose Everdeen.

Peeta, You Were Supposed To Wake Me After A Couple Of Hours," I Say. "for What? Nothing's Going On Here," He Says. "besides, I Like Watching You Sleep. You Don't Scowl. Improves Your Looks A Lot." This, Of Course, Brings On A Scowl That Makes Him Grin.

So Haymitch, What Do You Think Of The Games Have One Hundred Percent More Competitors Than Usual?” Asks Caesar. Haymitch Shrugs. “i Don’t See That It Makes That Much Difference. They’ll Still Be One Hundred Percent As Stupid As Usual, So I Figure My Odds Will Be Roughly The Same.

Deep In The Meadow, Hidden Far Away, A Cloak Of Leaves, A Moonbeam Ray, Forget Your Woes And Let Your Troubles Lay, And When Again It's Morning, They'll Wash Away. Here It's Safe, Here It's Warm, Here The Daisies Guard You From Every Harm, Here Your Dreams Are Sweet And Tomorrow Brings Them True, Here Is The Place Where I Love You.

Birds Are Settling Down For The Night, Singing Lullabies To Their Young.

The Eleventh Plague Hits Disturbingly Close To Home An Excellent, Taut Debut Novel.

Most Of The Peacekeepers Turn A Blind Eye To The Few Of Us Who Hunt Because They're As Hungry As We Are For Fresh Meat As Anyone. In Fact, They're Among Our Best Customers.

This Was The Door To Both Sustenance And Sanity. And We Were Each Other's Key.

If The Careers Want Me, Let Them Find Me.

It's To The Capitol's Advantage To Have Us Divided Among Ourselves. Another Tool To Cause Misery In Our District. A Way To Plant Hatred Between The Starving Workers [of The Seam] And Those Who Can Generally Count On Supper And Thereby Ensure We Will Never Trust One Another.

Fine. Somebody Else Can Arrange To Get The Stupid Goat Knocked Up.

Just Don't Die For Me, You Won't Be Doing Me Any Favour !

Today I Might Lose Both Of Them. I Try To Imagine A World Where Both Gale's And Peeta's Voices Have Ceased. Hands Stilled. Eyes Unblinking. I'm Standing Over Their Bodies, Having A Last Look, Leaving The Room Where They Lie. But When I Open The Door To Step Out Into The World, There's Only A Tremendous Void. A Pale Grey Nothingness That Is All My Future Holds.

You Don't Destroy What You Want To Acquire In The Future.

You're Not Afraid I'll Kill You Tonight?" "like I Couldn't Take You.

Where Did They Get Those Screams, Katniss?

He Never Lets Go Of Annie's Hand. Not When They Walk, Not When They Eat. I Doubt He Ever Plans To.

And Some Small Gnarled Place Inside Me Hated Her For Her Weakness, For Her Neglect, For The Months She Had Put Us Through. I Had Taken A Step Back From My Mother, Put Up A Wall To Protect Myself From Needing Her, And Nothing Was Ever The Same Between Us Again.

Just The Perfect Touch Of Rebellion," Says Haymitch "very Nice." Rebellion?

I'm Running On Hate. When The Energy From That Ebbs I'll Be Worthless.

They'll Either Want To Kill You, Kiss You, Or Be You.

I Think....you Still Have No Idea. The Effect You Can Have.

I Don't Know What It Is With Finnick And Bread, But He Seems Obsessed With Handling It.

Fire Beats Roses Again.

I Drag Myself Out Of Nightmares Each Morning And Find There's No Relief In Waking.

Finally, The Intercom Crackles And Hatmitch's Acerbic Laugh Fills The Studio. He Contains Himself Just Long Enough To Say, 'and That, My Friends, Is How A Revolution Dies.

You're Punishing Him Over And Over For Things That Are Out Of His Control. Now, I'm Not Saying You Shouldn't Have A Fully Loaded Weapon Next To You Round The Clock. But I Think It's Time You Flipped This Little Scenario In Your Head. If You'd Been Taken By The Capitol, And Hijacked, And Then Tried To Kill Peeta, Is This The Way He Would Be Treating You?" Demands Haymitch. I Fall Silent. It Isn't. It Isn't How He Would Be Treating Me At All. He Would Be Trying To Get Me Back At Any Cost. Not Shutting Me Out, Abandoning Me, Greeting Me With Hostility At Every Turn.

Its Not In My Nature To Go Down Without A Fight Even When Things Seem Insurmountable

That Was The One Thing I Had Going For Me. Taking Care Of Your Family.

Oh, He's On Top Of It. It Was Volunteer Only, But He Pretended Not To Notice Me Waving My Hand In The Air," Says Haymitch. "see? He's Already Demonstrated Good Judgment.

Just The Sound Of His Voice Twists My Stomach Into A Knot Of Unpleasant Emotions Like Guilt, Sadness And Fear. And Longing. I Might As Well Admit There’s Some Of That Too.

My Sleep Wasn't Peaceful, Though. I Have The Sense Of Emerging From A World Of Dark, Haunted Places Where I Traveled Alone.

What Must It Be Like, I Wonder, To Live In A World Where Food Appears At The Press Of A Button? How Would I Spend The Hours I Now Commit To Combing The Woods For Sustenance If It Were So Easy To Come By? What Do They Do All Day, These People In The Capitol, Besides Decorating Their Bodies And Waiting Around For A New Shipment Of Tributes To Rill In And Die For Their Entertainment?

Great. Now I Have To Go Back And Tell Haymitch I Want An Eighty-year-old And Nuts And Volts For My Allies. He'll Love That.

Katniss Everdeen, You Have Caused A Spark, Wich Left Unattended, May Cause A Spark That Could Cause A Whole Rebelion

I Will Never Give Up If You Never Give In.

I Will Never Give Up

Even Though I Don't Ask, Plutarch Gives Me Cheerful Updates On The Phone Like "good News, Katniss! I Think We've Almost Got Him Convinced You're Not A Mutt!" Or "today He Was Allowed To Feed Himself Pudding!

Most Rats Read. Our Frustration Is, We Cannot Hold A Pen To Write.

I Have Not Wept Since The Death Of My Parents," Said Luxa Quietly. "but I Am Thought To Be Unnatural In This Respect.

Our Romance Became A Key Strategy For Our Survival In The Arena. Only It Wasn't Just A Strategy For Peeta.

I Mean I Know It's Cold Out Here And Not Everybody Has A Sleeping Bag. But When You Grit Your Teeth And Stick It Out Until Dawn!

I Know. I Was Hoping," I Say. "exactly. Because You're Desperate," Says Haymitch. I Don't Argue Because, Of Course, He's Right.

There's No Going Back. So We Might As Well Get On With Things.

How Much Better My Life Has Been For Knowing Him. For Loving Him, Even If It's Only In The Limited Way That I Can Manage. But I Never Get The Chance.

I'm Going To Be The Mockingjay.

Something Small And Quiet, Like A Match Being Struck, Lights Up The Gloom Inside Of Me.

And We Must Fight Back! President Snow Says He's Sending Us A Message? Well, I Have One For Him. You Can Torture Us And Bomb Us And Burn Our Districts To The Ground, But Do You See That? Fire Is Catching! And If We Burn, You Burn With Us!

Haymich Finally Drops The Good-natured Act. "you Know Who Else, Katniss. You Know Who Stepped Up First." Of Course I Do. Gale.

Right Before The Explosions Begin, I Find A Star.

Warmblood Now A Bloodborne Death, Will Rob Your Body Of It's Breath Mark Your Skin And Seal Your Fate The Underland Becomes A Plate

We Could Do It, You Know." "what?" "leave The District. Run Off. Live In The Woods. You And I, We Could Make It.

Capitol In Hunger Games

I Don't Want To Lose The Boy With The Bread.

Hunger For Love

Never Having Been In Love, This Is Going To Be A Real Trick. I Think Of My Parents. The Way My Father Never Failed To Bring Her Gifts From The Woods. The Way My Mother's Face Would Light Up At The Sound Of His Boots At The Door. The Way She Almost Stopped Living When He Died.

Do I Really Want Him Dead? What I Want... What I Want Is To Have Him Back.

But Some Secrets Are Too Delicious Not To Share.

Cinna Just Smiles. 'had A Damp Morning?' 'you Could Wring Me Out,' I Reply. Cinna Puts His Arm Around My Shoulder And Leads Me Into Lunch. ' Don't Worry, I Always Channel My Emotions Into My Work. That Way I Don't Hurt Anyone But Myself.

Peeta Looks Me Right In The Eye And Gives My Hand What I Think Is Meant To Be A Reassuring Squeeze. Maybe It's Just A Nervous Spasm.

But Between The Images, We Are Privy To The Real-life Action Being Played Out On The Set. Peeta's Attempt To Continue Speaking. The Camera Knocked Down To Record The White Tiled Floor. The Scuffle Of Boots. The Impact Of The Blow That's Inseparable From Peeta's Cry Of Pain. And His Blood As It Splatters The Tiles.

They're Already Taking My Future! They Can't Have The Things That Mattered To Me In The Past!

Capitol In Hunger Games

You’ve Got About As Much Charm As A Dead Slug.

Dawn Comes Before Sleep Does.

No One Really Needs Me,” He Says, And There's No Self-pity In His Voice...“i Do,” I Say. “i Need You.” He Looks Upset, Takes A Deep Breath As If To Begin A Long Argument, And That's No Good, No Good At All, Because He'll Start Going On About Prim And My Mother And Everything And I'll Just Get Confused. So Before He Can Talk, I Stop His Lips With A Kiss.

Just Give Him The Medicine!" I Scream At Her. "give It To Him! Who Are You, Anyway, To Decide How Much Pain He Can Stand!

I Don’t Know What The Explosion Did, But It Damaged Something Deep And Irreparable. Never Mind. If I Get Home, I’ll Be So Stinking Rich, I’ll Be Able To Pay Someone To Do My Hearing.

I Roll My Eyes. "so When Did I Become So Special? When They Carted Me Off To The Capitol?" "no, About Six Months Before That. Right After New Year's. We Were In The Hob, Eating Some Slop Of Greasy Sae's. And Darius Was Teasing You About Trading A Rabbit For One Of His Kisses. And I Realized...i Minded.

"i'm So Sorry," I Whisper. I Lean Forward And Kiss Him. His Eyelashes Flutter And He Looks At Me Through A Haze Of Opiates. "hey, Catnip." "hey, Gale," I Say. "thought You'd Be Gone By Now," He Says. My Choices Are Simple. I Can Die Like A Quarry In The Woods Or I Can Die Here Beside Gale. "i'm Not Going Anywhere. I'm Going To Stay Right Here And Cause All Kinds Of Trouble." "me, Too," Gale Says. He Just Manages A Smile Before The Drugs Pull Him Back Under.

Exactly How Am I Supposed To Work In A Thank-you In There? Somehow It Just Won't Seem Sincere If I'm Trying To Slit His Throat.

It's Ideal Really. They Will Come Up With A Plan. No One Will Like It. Everyone Will Feel They Have Been Treated Unfairly, But Will Be Happy That Their Neighbors Feel The Same. And That Is The Nature Of Compromise. Now Let's Go Eat An Awful Lot.

But In School I Remember Hearing That For The Second Quarter Quell, The Capitol Demanded That Twice The Number Of Tributes Be Provided For The Arena. The Teachers Didn't Go Into Much More Detail, Which Is Surprising, Because That Was The Year District 12's Very Own Haymitch Abernathy Won The Crown.

What Must It Be Like, I Wonder, To Live In A World Where Food Appears At The Press Of A Button?

The Hatred I Feel For Him, For The Phantom Girl, For Everything, Is So Real And Immediate It Chokes Me. Gale Is Mine. I Am His. Anything Else Is Unthinkable. Why Did It Take Him Being Whipped Within An Inch Of His Life To See It?

Fine, Than I Will Not Have To Blame You For Killing My Friends With Your Stupidity. -haymitch

I Can't Argue That Finnick Isn't One Of The Most Stunning, Sensuous People On The Planet. But I Can Honestly Say He's Never Been Attractive To Me. Maybe He's Too Pretty, Or Maybe He's Too Easy To Get, Or Maybe It's Really That He'd Just Be Too Easy To Lose.

Highly Unlikely But Not Impossible.

I Can Win But You Cant Lose, This Makes Us All Even In Our Ways.

When I Wake, I Have A Brief, Delicious Feeling Of Happiness That Is Somehow Connected With Peeta. Happiness, Of Course, Is A Complete Absurdity At This Point, Since At The Rate Things Are Going, I'll Be Dead In A Day. And That's The Best-case Scenario, If I'm Able To Eliminate The Rest Of The Field, Including Myself, And Get Peeta Crowned As The Winner Of The Quarter Quell. Still, The Sensation's So Unexpected And Sweet I Cling To It, If Only For A Few Moments. Before The Gritty Sand, The Hot Sun, And My Itching Skin Demand A Return To Reality.

I Feel Like I Owe Him Something, And I Hate Owing People. Maybe If I Had Thanked Him At Some Point, I'd Be Feeling Less Conflicted Now. I Thought About It A Couple Of Times, But The Opportunity Never Seemed To Present Itself. And Now It Never Will. Because We're Going To Be Thrown Into An Arena To Fight To The Death. Exactly How Am I Supposed To Work In A Thank-you In There? Somehow It Just Won't Seem Sincere If I'm Trying To Slit His Throat.

They Recognize Me. Of Course They Recognize Me. My Face Is Uncovered And I'm Standing Here Outside Of District 12 Pointing An Arrow At Them. Who Else Would I Be?

Who Says I Can't Handle It? I Can Handle It," Said Gregor Obviously Not Handling It.

Make Sure They Remember You.

Haymitch Abernathy

Not Like This. He Wanted It To Be Real.

What Will Break Me Into A Million Pieces So That I Am Beyond Repair, Beyond Usefulness?

You're Alive," I Whisper, Pressing My Palms Against My Cheeks, Feeling The Smile That's So Wide It Must Look Like A Grimace. Peeta's Alive.

What Happens When We Get Back? I Don't Know. I Guess We Try And Forget. I Don't Want To Forget.

Swathed In Silk, I Feel Like A Caterpillar In A Cocoon Awaiting Metamorphosis. I Always Supposed That To Be A Peaceful Condition. At First It Is. But As I Journey Into The Night, I Feel More And More Trapped, Suffocated By The Slippery Bindings, Unable To Emerge Until I Have Transformed Into Something Of Beauty. I Squirm, Trying To Shed My Ruined Body And Unlock The Secret To Growing Flawless Wings. Despite Enormous Effort, I Remain A Hideous Creature, Fired Into My Current Form By The Blast From The Bombs.

How Did Rue End Up On That Stage With Nothing But The Wind Offering To Take Her Place?

I Just Don't Want Them To Change Me, If I'm Going To Die I Still Want To Be Me.

Making Knots. Making Knots. No Word. Making Knots. Tick-tock. This Is A Clock. Do Not Think Of Gale. Do Not Think Of Peeta. Making Knots.

There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

It's There. The White Rose Among The Dried Flowers In The Vase. Shriveled And Fragile, But Holding On To That Unnatural Perfection Cultivated In Snows Greenhouse. I Grab The Vase, Stumble Down To The Kitchen, And Throw Its Contents Into The Embers. As The Flowers Flare Up, A Burst Of Blue Flame Envelops The Rose And Devours It. Fire Beats Roses Again.

Maybe It's That We Are All So Starved For Something Good To Happen That We Want To Be A Part Of It.

They Don't Own Me. If I'm Gonna Die, I Wanna Still Be Me.

All The Writing Elements Are The Same. You Need To Tell A Good Story... You've Got Good Characters... People Think There's Some Dramatic Difference Between Writing 'little Bear' And The 'hunger Games,' And As A Writer, For Me, There Isn't.

I Wonder If Effie Will Still Be Wearing That Silly Pink Wig, Or Is She'll Be Sporting Some Other Unnatural Color Especially For The Victor Tour.

You're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

I Noticed Just About Every Girl, But None Of Them Made A Lasting Impression But You.

Lasting Impressions

How About You, Mockingjay? You Feel Totally Safe?” “oh, Yeah. Right Up Until I Got Shot,” I Say.

Never," Said Gregor. "i'll Never Get Rid Of You, No Matter How Hard I Try." It Was No Longer An Effort To Say The Words. "i Love You." "i Love You, Too," Said Luxa. After That There Was Nothing Left To Say.

I Notice Her Blouse Has Pulled Out Of Her Skirt In The Back Again And Force Myself To Stay Calm. "tuck Your Tail In, Little Duck," I Say, Smoothing The Blouse Back In Place. Prim Giggles And Give Me A Small "quack." "quack Yourself," I Say With A Light Laugh. The Kind Only Prim Can Draw Out Of Me.

That If Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures, Then I'm Free To Act As Desperately As I Wish.

Desperate Measures

And Suddenly, It's As If There's No One In The World But These Two, Crashing Through Space To Reach Each Other. They Collide, Enfold, Lose Their Balance, And Slam Against A Wall, Where They Stay. Clinging Into One Being. Indivisible.

Besides, It's The First Gift That's Always The Hardest To Pay Back. I Wouldn't Even Have Been Here To Do It If You Hadn't Helped Me Then.

I Swear If You Cry, I'll Kill You Here And Now.' Cinna Just Smiles. 'had A Damp Morning?' 'you Could Wring Me Out.' I Reply

Katniss, I Don't Think President Snow Will Kill Peeta. If He Does, He Won't Have Any Way To Hurt You." "so, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. "whatever It Takes To Break You.

But There Was Only One Kiss That Made Me Feel Something Stir Deep Inside. Only One That Made Me Want More. But My Head Wound Started Bleeding And He Made Me Lie Down.

You've Got To Go Through It To Get To The End Of It.

Remember, Heads High. Smiles. They're Going To Love You!

And Then There Was Tick. Brave Little Tick, Who Had Flown Into The Faces Of An Army Of Rats To Save His Baby Sister. Tick - Who Never Spoke Much. Tick - Who Shared Her Food. Tick - Who Was After All Just A Roach. Just A Roach Who Had Given All The Time She Had Left So That Boots Could Have More. Gregor Pressed Boots's Fingers Against His Lips And Felt Scalding Tears Begin To Slide Down His Cheeks. He Hadn't Cried, Not The Whole Time He'd Been Down Here, And There Had Been Plenty Of Bad Stuff. But Somehow Tick's Sacrifice Had Crushed Whatever Thin Shell Remained Between Him And Sorrow.

The More Likable He Is, The More Deadly He Is.” -katniss Everdeen

Hunger Games Book

Capitol In Hunger Games

Tick, Tock,” Whispers Wiress. I Guide Her In Front Of Me And Get Her To Lie Down, Stroking Her Arm To Soothe Her. She Drifts Off, Stirring Restlessly, Occasionally Sighing Out Her Phrase. “tick, Tock.” “tick, Tock,” I Agree Softly. “it’s Time For Bed. Tick, Tock. Go To Sleep.

I Also Want To Tell Him How Much I Already Miss Him. But That Wouldn't Be Fair On My Part.

Something Keeps Me Moving Forward, Though. A Lifetime Of Watching The Hunger Games Lets Me Know That Certain Areas Of The Arena Are Rigged For Certain Attacks. And That If I Can Just Get Away From This Section, I Might Be Able To Move Out Of Reach Of The Launchers. I Might Also Then Fall Straight Into A Pit Of Vipers, But I Can't Worry About That Now.

Crying Is Not An Option.

And It’s All My Fault, Gale. Because Of What I Did In The Arena. If I Had Just Killed Myself With Those Berries, None Of This Would’ve Happened. Peeta Could Have Come Home And Lived, And Everyone Else Would Have Been Safe, Too.” “safe To Do What?” He Says In A Gentler Tone. “starve? Work Like Slaves? Send Their Kids To The Reaping? You Haven’t Hurt People – You’ve Given Them An Opportunity. They Just Have To Be Brave Enough To Take It.

How Much Energy They Put Into Harming Each Other. How Little Into Saving.

Everything Is Happening Too Fast For Me To Process It.

The Heat Of The Bread Burned Into My Skin, But I Clutched It Tighter, Clinging To Life.

Because That's What You And I Do, Protect Each Other.

Mockingjay Book

There's A Meeting In Command. Disregard Your Current Schedule,' He Says. 'done,' I Say. 'did You Follow It At All Today?' He Asks In Exasperation. 'who Knows? I'm Mentally Disoriented.' I Hold Up My Wrist To Show My Medical Bracelet And Realize It's Gone. 'see? I Can't Even Remember They Took My Bracelet.' (katniss And Boggs)

We Hand The Meat Over To Greasy Sae In The Kitchen. She Likes District 13 Well Enough, Even Though She Thinks The Cooks Are Somewhat Lacking In Imagination. But A Woman Who Came Up With A Palatable Wild Dog And Rhubarb Stew Is Bound To Feel As If Her Hands Are Tied Here.

I Take His Hand, Holding On Tightly, Preparing For The Cameras, And Dreading The Moment When I Will Finally Have To Let Go.

Five Years Later I Still Wake Up Screaming For Him To Run

And To Us, We're More Married Than Any Piece Of Paper Or Big Party Could Make Us.

Let The Hunger Games Begin!

But I Feel As If I Did Know Rue, And She'll Always Be With Me. Everything Beautiful Brings Her To Mind. I See Her In The Yellow Flowers That Grow In The Meadow By My House. I See Her In The Mockingjays That Sing In The Trees. But Most Of All, I See Her In My Sister, Prim.

But I Have To Confess, I'm Glad You Two Had At Least A Few Months Of Happiness Together." I'm Not Glad," Says Peeta. "i Wish We Had Waited Until The Whole Thing Was Done Officially." This Takes Even Caesar Aback. "surely Even A Brief Time Is Better Than No Time?" Maybe I'd Think That, Too, Caesar," Says Peeta Bitterly, "if It Weren't For The Baby.

Aim Higher In Case You Fall Short.

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