Background Image

...

I Feel Like I Owe Him Something, And I Hate Owing People. Maybe If I Had Thanked Him At Some Point, I'd Be Feeling Less Conflicted Now. I Thought About It A Couple Of Times, But The Opportunity Never Seemed To Present Itself. And Now It Never Will. Because We're Going To Be Thrown Into An Arena To Fight To The Death. Exactly How Am I Supposed To Work In A Thank-you In There? Somehow It Just Won't Seem Sincere If I'm Trying To Slit His Throat.

-Suzanne Collins

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

I Feel Like I

Suzanne Collins

...

I Feel Like I Owe Him Something, And I Hate Owing People. Maybe If I Had Thanked Him At Some Point, I'd Be Feeling Less Conflicted Now. I Thought About It A Couple Of Times, But The Opportunity Never Seemed To Present Itself. And Now It Never Will. Because We're Going To Be Thrown Into An Arena To Fight To The Death. Exactly How Am I Supposed To Work In A Thank-you In There? Somehow It Just Won't Seem Sincere If I'm Trying To Slit His Throat.

Views: 7

Topic

More From Suzanne Collins

Peeta: You Be Nice To Her, Finnick. Or I Might Try And Take Her Away From You. Finnick: Oh, Peeta. Don't Make Me Sorry I Restarted Your Heart.

I Think....you Still Have No Idea. The Effect You Can Have.

Warmblood Now A Bloodborne Death, Will Rob Your Body Of It's Breath Mark Your Skin And Seal Your Fate The Underland Becomes A Plate

Delly Lost Her Temper At Peeta Over How He Treated You. She Got Very Squeaky. It Was Like Someone Stabbing A Mouse With A Fork Repeatedly.

Katniss. I Remember About The Bread.

What I Need Is The Dandelion In The Spring. The Bright Yellow That Means Rebirth Instead Of Destruction. The Promise That Life Can Go On, No Matter How Bad Our Losses. That It Can Be Good Again.

I Don't Think It's Going To Work Out. Winning...won't Help In Any Case. Because...she Came Here With Me. - Peeta Mellark

I Take A Few Breaths To Calm Myself, Step Back, And Lift Buttercup By The Scruff Of The Neck. "i Should've Drowned You When I Had The Chance." His Ears Flatten And He Raises A Paw. I Hiss Before He Gets A Chance, Which Seems To Annoy Him A Little, Since He Considers Hissing His Own Personal Sound Of Contempt.

No. Now, Shut Up And Eat Your Pears.

I Can't Help Comparing What I Have With Gale To What I'm Pretending To Have With Peeta. How I Never Question Gale's Motives While I Do Nothing But Doubt The Latter's. It's Not A Fair Comparison Really. Gale And I Were Thrown Together By A Mutual Need To Survive. Peeta And I Know The Other's Survival Means Our Own Death. How Do You Sidestep That?

Remember, Heads High. Smiles. They're Going To Love You!

I'd Begun To Think That He'd Given Up On Me In The Weeks That Had Passed. Or That He No Longer Cared About Me. Hated Me Even. And The Idea Of Losing Him Forever, My Best Friend, The Only Person I'd Ever Trusted With My Secrets, Was So Painful I Couldn't Stand It.

Ripred Sighed. 'i Suppose So. You And I Seem To End Up Doing Everything. Shall We Say Four Members For Each Delegation?' 'why Not?' Luxa Said. 'four Can Be As Stupid As Ten. No Need To Crowd The Room.' Ripred Laughed. 'you Know, I Think You An I Are Going To Get On Famously.

Unfortunately, I Can't Seal The Sponsor Deals For You. Only Haymitch Can Do That," Says Effie Grimly. "but Don't Worry, I'll Get Him To The Table At Gunpoint If Necessary." Although Lacking In Many Departments, Effie Trinket Has A Certain Determination I Have To Admire.

Haymitch Said You'd Take A Lot Of Convincing.

I Wish I Could Freeze This Moment, Right Here, Right Now And Live In It Forever.

What Was That You Were Saying Just Before The Food Arrived? Something About Me... No Competition... Best Thing That Ever Happened To You.

We're Supposed To Be Making Up This Stuff, Playing At Being In Love, Not Actually Being In Love.

And It’s All My Fault, Gale. Because Of What I Did In The Arena. If I Had Just Killed Myself With Those Berries, None Of This Would’ve Happened. Peeta Could Have Come Home And Lived, And Everyone Else Would Have Been Safe, Too.” “safe To Do What?” He Says In A Gentler Tone. “starve? Work Like Slaves? Send Their Kids To The Reaping? You Haven’t Hurt People – You’ve Given Them An Opportunity. They Just Have To Be Brave Enough To Take It.

If You Are Not Trying To Hold On To Time, You Are Not So Afraid Of Losing It.

Gregor The Overlander

The Air's Warm With Hopeful Hints Of Spring In It. Spring Would Be A Good Time For An Uprising, I Think. Everyone Feels Less Vulnerable Once Winter Passes.

All The Times These Arms Were My Only Refuge From The World. Perhaps Not Fully Appreciated Then, But So Sweet In My Memory, And Now Gone Forever.

So People Really Do Tear Out Their Hair And Beat The Ground With Their Fists

The Morphlings From District 6 Are In The Camouflage Station, Painting Each Other's Faces With Bright Pink Swirls.

I Keep Hoping That As Time Passes By, We’ll Regain The Ease Between Us, But Part Of Me Knows It’s Futile. There’s No Going Back.

You're Punishing Him Over And Over For Things That Are Out Of His Control.

To This Day, I Can Never Shake The Connection Between This Boy, Peeta Mellark, And The Bread That Gave Me Hope, And The Dandelion That Reminded Me That I Was Not Doomed.

I'm So Tired, Katniss.

Whatever The Opposite Of Fine Is, That's What I Am.

In District 12, Looking Old Is Something Of An Achievement Since So Many People Die Early. You See An Elderly Person, You Want To Congratulate Them On Their Longevity, Ask The Secret Of Survival. A Plump Person Is Envied Because They Aren't Scraping By Like The Majority Of Us. But Here Is Different. Wrinkles Aren't Desirable. A Round Belly Isn't A Sign Of Success.

He Wants As Many Victors As Possible For The Cameras To Follow In The Capitol. Thinks It Makes For Better Television." "are You And Beetee Going?" I Ask. "as Many Young And Attractive Victors As Possible," Haymitch Corrects Himself. "so, No. We'll Be Here.

Mutually Counting On Each Other, Watching Each Other's Backs, Forcing Each Other To Be Brave.

Swathed In Silk, I Feel Like A Caterpillar In A Cocoon Awaiting Metamorphosis. I Always Supposed That To Be A Peaceful Condition. At First It Is. But As I Journey Into The Night, I Feel More And More Trapped, Suffocated By The Slippery Bindings, Unable To Emerge Until I Have Transformed Into Something Of Beauty. I Squirm, Trying To Shed My Ruined Body And Unlock The Secret To Growing Flawless Wings. Despite Enormous Effort, I Remain A Hideous Creature, Fired Into My Current Form By The Blast From The Bombs.

Buttercup, Miserable Even With Prim’s Constant Attention, Huddles In The Cube And Exhales Cat Breath In My Face.

You're Not Afraid I'll Kill You Tonight?" "like I Couldn't Take You.

In That One Slight Motion, I See The End Of Hope, Beginning Of Destruction Of Everything I Hold Dear In The World. I Can't Guess What Form My Punishment Will Take, How Wide The Net Will Be Cast, But When It Is Finished There Most Likely Be Nothing Left. So You Would Think That At This Moment, I Would Be In Utter Despair.

Technically, I Am Unarmed. But No One Should Ever Underestimate The Harm That Fingernails Can Do. Especially If The Target Is Unprepared.

Not Only Does He Hate Me, And Want To Kill Me, He No Longer Believes I'm Human. It Was Less Painful Being Strangled.

We Each Get Fifteen Minutes Before The Gamemakers To Amaze Them With Our Skills, But I Don't Know What Any Of Us Might Have To Show Them. There's A Lot Of Kidding About It At Lunch. What We Might Do. Sing, Dance, Strip, Tell Jokes. Mags, Who I Can Understand A Little Better Now, Decides She's Just Going To Take A Nap.

How About You, Mockingjay? You Feel Totally Safe?” “oh, Yeah. Right Up Until I Got Shot,” I Say.

As The Alcohol Overcomes My Mind, I Hear The Glass Bottle Shatter On The Floor. This Seems Appropriate Since I Have Obviously Lost My Grip On Everything.

The Only Thing Worse Than Fighting A Giant Scorpion Was Fighting A Giant Scorpion Who Was Trying To Protect Her Young.

Hey, Look At This!" He Holds Up A Glistening, Perfect Pearl About The Size Of A Pea. "you Know, If You Put Enough Pressure On Coal It Turns To Pearls," He Says Earnestly To Finnick. "no, It Doesn't," Says Finnick Dismissively. But I Crack Up, Remembering That's How A Clueless Effie Trinket Presented Us To The People Of The Capitol Last Year, Before Anyone Knew Us. As Coal Pressured Into Pearls By Our Weighty Existence. Beauty That Arose Out Of Pain.

It's Lovely. If Only You Could Frost Someone To Death.

No Matter What I Do, I'm Hurting Someone." - Katniss Everdeen

But What Was It Haymitch Said When I Asked If He Had Told Peeta The Situation? That He Had To Pretend To Be Desperately In Love? “don’t Have To. He’s Already There.

I Begin To Fully Understand The Lengths To Which People Have Gone To Protect Me. What I Mean To The Rebels. My On Going Struggle Against The Capitol, Which Has So Often Felt Like A Solitary Journey, Has Not Been Undertaken Alone. I Have Had Thousands Upon Thousands Of People From The Districts At My Side. I Was Their Mockingjay Long Before I Accepted The Role.

I'm Not A Very Fancy Person. I've Been A Writer A Long Time, And Right Now 'the Hunger Games' Is Getting A Lot Of Focus. It'll Pass. The Focus Will Be On Something Else. It'll Shift. It Always Does. And That Seems Just Fine.

The Only Indication Of The Passage Of Time Lies In The Heavens, The Subtle Shift Of The Moon. So Peeta Begins Pointing It Out To Me, Insisting I Acknowledge Its Progress And Sometimes, For Just A Moment I Feel A Flicker Of Hope Before The Agony Of The Night Engulfs Me Again.

If I Win And You Die, I Dont Have A Home To Go Back To. You Are My Life.

I Shift On To My Side And Find Myself Looking Directly Into Gale's Eyes. For An Instant The World Recedes And There Is Just His Flushed Face, His Pulse Visible At His Temple, His Lips Slightly Parted As He Tries To Catch His Breath.

You Can’t Miss Your Schedule. Every Morning, You’re Supposed To Stick Your Right Arm In This Contraption In The Wall. It Tattoos The Smooth Inside Of Your Forearm With Your Schedule For The Day In A Sickly Purple Ink. 7:00—breakfast. 7:30—kitchen Duties. 8:30—education Center, Room 17. And So On. The Ink Is Indelible Until 22:00—bathing

I Turn And Put My Lips Close To Peeta's And Drop My Eyelids In Imitation... "he Offered Me Sugar And Wanted To Know All My Secrets," I Say In My Best Seductive Voice.

You're Not Going To Die. I Forbid It. All Right?" "all Right," He Whispers.

You Could Do A Lot Worse.

I'm Sure They Didn't Notice Anything But You. You Should Wear Flames More Often," He Says. "they Suit You.

Somehow It Always Comes Back To Coal At School.

I Guess This Is A Bad Time To Mention I Hung A Dummy And Painted Seneca Crane's Name On It.

Never Having Been In Love, This Is Going To Be A Real Trick. I Think Of My Parents. The Way My Father Never Failed To Bring Her Gifts From The Woods. The Way My Mother's Face Would Light Up At The Sound Of His Boots At The Door. The Way She Almost Stopped Living When He Died.

Orange? Like Effie's Hair?" I Say. "a Bit More Muted," He Says. "more Like Sunset.

It's More Complicated Than That. I Know Them. They're Not Evil Or Cruel. They're Not Even Smart. Hurting Them, It's Like Hurting Children.

I Don't Want To Lose The Boy With The Bread.

Hunger For Love

Finally, Peeta Turns To Pollux. "well, Then You Just Became Our Most Valuable Asset." Castor Laughs And Pollux Manages A Smile. We're Halfway Down The First Tunnel When I Realize What Was So Remarkable About That Exchange. Peeta Sounded Like His Old Self, The One Who Could Always Think Of The Right Thing To Say When Nobody Else Could... I Glance Back At Him As He Trudges Along Under His Guards, Gale And Jackson, His Eyes Fixed On The Ground, His Shoulders Hunched Forward. So Dispirited. But For A Moment, He Was Really Here.

We Sit In Silence Awhile Then I Blurt Out The Thing That's On Both Our Minds. "how Are We Going To Kill These People, Peeta?

To Be Honest, I'm Not Much Of A Drinker. It Makes Me Sick, And I Hate That.

Okay, Maybe I Don't Go Around Loving Everybody I Meet, Maybe My Smiles Are Hard To Come By, But I Do Care For Some People.

I Just...i Just Miss Him. And I Hate Being So Alone.

Instead, I Watch Myself Get Shot On Television.

I Can Hear Him Weeping But I Don't Care. They Probably Won't Even Bother To Question Her, She's So Far Gone. Gone Right Off The Deep End Years Ago In Her Games. There's A Good Chance I'm Headed In The Same Direction. Maybe I'm Already Going Crazy And No One Has The Heart To Tell Me. I Feel Crazy Enough.

If You'd Been Taken By The Capital And Hijacked And Then Tried To Kill Peeta, Is This The Way He Would Be Treating You?

If The Careers Want Me, Let Them Find Me.

All The General Fear I've Been Feeling Condenses Into An Immediate Fear Of This Girl, This Predator Who Might Kill Me In Seconds. Adrenaline Shoots Through Me And I Sling The Pack Over One Shoulder And Run Full-speed For The Woods. I Can Hear The Blade Whistling Toward Me And Reflexively Hike The Pack Up To Protect My Head. The Blade Lodges In The Pack. Both Straps On My Shoulders Now, I Make For The Trees. Somehow I Knew The Girl Will Not Pursue Me. That She'll Be Drawn Back Into The Cornucopia Before All The Good Stuff Is Gone. A Grin Crosses My Face. Thanks For The Knife, I Think.

My Name Is Katniss Everdeen. I Am Seventeen Years Old. My Home Is District 12. I Was In The Hunger Games. I Escaped. The Capitol Hates Me.

I Knew You'd Kiss Me." "how?" I Say. Because I Didn't Know Myself. "because I Am In Pain," He Say's. "that's The Only Way I Get Your Attention.

And So I'm Stupid For Thinking They Might Be Useful. Because Of Something Johanna Mason Said While She Was Oiling Her Breasts For Wrestling.

Who Says I Can't Handle It? I Can Handle It," Said Gregor Obviously Not Handling It.

Hey. I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got Home," I Say. "katniss, I Live Three Houses Away From You," He Says.

I Send A Silent Thank-you To Dalton For Suggesting I Wash Off The Makeup. How Ridiculous, How Perverse I Would Feel Presenting That Painted Capitol Mask To These People. The Damage, The Fatigue, The Imperfections. That's How They Recognize Me, Why I Belong To Them.

What Do You Think?" He Asks. "i Hate Them," I Say. I Can Almost Smell The Blood, The Dirt, The Unnatural Breath Of The Mutt. "all I Do Is Go Around Trying To Forget The Arena And You've Brought It Back To Life. How Do You Remember These Things So Exactly?" "i See Them Every Night," He Says.

I Feel Like I Owe Him Something, And I Hate Owing People. Maybe If I Had Thanked Him At Some Point, I'd Be Feeling Less Conflicted Now. I Thought About It A Couple Of Times, But The Opportunity Never Seemed To Present Itself. And Now It Never Will. Because We're Going To Be Thrown Into An Arena To Fight To The Death. Exactly How Am I Supposed To Work In A Thank-you In There? Somehow It Just Won't Seem Sincere If I'm Trying To Slit His Throat.

The Cat That Prim Got Hates Me, I Think Partly Because I Tried To Drown It.

I'm Not Good At Talking About Myself.

The Awful Thing Is That If I Can Forget They're People, It Will Be No Different At All

I Don’t Know What The Explosion Did, But It Damaged Something Deep And Irreparable. Never Mind. If I Get Home, I’ll Be So Stinking Rich, I’ll Be Able To Pay Someone To Do My Hearing.

The Hatred I Feel For Him, For The Phantom Girl, For Everything, Is So Real And Immediate It Chokes Me. Gale Is Mine. I Am His. Anything Else Is Unthinkable. Why Did It Take Him Being Whipped Within An Inch Of His Life To See It?

I Know. I Was Hoping," I Say. "exactly. Because You're Desperate," Says Haymitch. I Don't Argue Because, Of Course, He's Right.

The More Likable He Is, The More Deadly He Is.” -katniss Everdeen

Hunger Games Book

Capitol In Hunger Games

They Play In The Meadow. The Dancing Girl With The Dark Hair And Blue Eyes. The Boy With Blond Curls And Gray Eyes, Struggling To Keep Up With Her On His Chubby Toddler Legs. It Took Five, Ten, Fifteen Years For Me To Agree. But Peeta Wanted Them So Badly. When I First Felt Her Stirring Inside Of Me, I Was Consumed With A Terror That Felt As Old As Life Itself. Only The Joy Of Holding Her In My Arms Could Tame It.

Yeah, About That,” Says Peeta, Entwining His Fingers In Mine. “don’t Try Something Like That Again.” “or What?” I Ask. “or . . . Or . . .” He Can’t Think Of Anything Good. “just Give Me A Minute.

Tuck In Your Tail, Little Duck.

"if I Could Grow Wings, I Could Fly. Only People Can't Grow Wings," He Say's. "real Or Not Real?" "real," I Say. "but People Don't Need Wings To Survive." "mockingjays Do."

The Realization That I’d Have Nothing To Take Home Had Finally Sunk In. My Knees Buckled And I Slid Down The Tree Trunk To Its Roots. It Was Too Much. I Was Too Sick And Weak And Tired, Oh, So Tired. Let Them Call The Peacekeepers And Take Us To The Community Home, I Thought. Or Better Yet, Let Me Die Right Here In The Rain.

Hope, It Is The Only Thing Stronger Than Fear. A Little Hope Is Effective, A Lot Of Hope Is Dangerous.

Johanna Glances Over At Finnick, To Be Sure, Then Turns To Me. “how’d You Lose Mags?” “in The Fog. Finnick Had Peeta. I Had Mags For A While. Then I Couldn’t Lift Her. Finnick Said He Couldn’t Take Them Both. She Kissed Him And Walked Right Into The Poison,” I Say. “she Was Finnick’s Mentor, You Know,” Johanna Says Accusingly. “no, I Didn’t,” I Say. “she Was Half His Family,” She Says A Few Moments Later, But There’s Less Venom Behind It.

Katniss Everdeen, You Have Caused A Spark, Wich Left Unattended, May Cause A Spark That Could Cause A Whole Rebelion

No, It Happened. And Right When Your Song Ended, I Knew - Just Like Your Mother - I Was A Goner,' Peeta Says.

Tonight. After The Reaping, Everyone Is Supposed To Celebrate. And A A Lot Of People Do, Out Of Relief That Their Children Have Been Spared For Another Year. But At Least Two Families Will Pull Their Shutters, Lock Their Doors, And Try To Figure Out How They Will Survive The Painful Weeks To Come.

Im Still Betting On You. - Cinna.

So Instead Of Acknowledging Applause, I Stand There Unmoving While They Take Part In The Boldest Form Of Dissent They Can Manage. Silence. Which Says We Do Not Agree. We Do Not Condone. All Of This Is Wrong.

My Voice, At First Rough And Breaking On The High Notes, Warms Up Into Something Splendid. A Voice That Would Make The Mockingjays Fall Silent And Then Tumble Over Themselves To Join In.

I Just Don't Want Them To Change Me, If I'm Going To Die I Still Want To Be Me.

So It's You And A Syringe Against The Capitol? See, This Is Why No One Lets You Make The Plans.

I'm Filled With Awe, As I Always Am, As I Watch Her Transform From A Woman Who Calls Me To Kill A Spider To A Woman Immune To Fear.

I Realize, For The First Time, How Very Lonely I've Been In The Arena. How Comforting The Presence Of Another Human Being Can Be.

And Here I Am, Strapped Into A Tree, A Stone's Throw From The Biggest Idiot In The Games.

My Mother Says Healers Are Born, Not Made.

Still, I Hate Them. But, Of Course, I Hate Almost Everybody Now. Myself More Than Anyone.

Mockingjay Book

I Don't Know How To Make People Like Me. Cinna, How Do You Make People Like You?

And Then It Happens. Up And Down The Row, The Victors Begin To Join Hands. Some Right Away, Like The Morphlings, Or Wiress And Beetee. Others Unsure But Caught Up In The Demands Of Those Around Them, Like Brutus And Enobaria. By The Time The Anthem Plays Its Final Strains, All Twenty-four Of Us Stand In One Unbroken Line In What Must Be The First Public Show Of Unity Among The Districts Since The Dark Days. You Can See The Realization Of This As The Screens Begin To Pop Into Blackness. It's Too Late, Though. In The Confusion They Didn't Cut Us Off In Time. Everyone Has Seen.

There's A Meeting In Command. Disregard Your Current Schedule,' He Says. 'done,' I Say. 'did You Follow It At All Today?' He Asks In Exasperation. 'who Knows? I'm Mentally Disoriented.' I Hold Up My Wrist To Show My Medical Bracelet And Realize It's Gone. 'see? I Can't Even Remember They Took My Bracelet.' (katniss And Boggs)

Now He's [cinna] Arranging Things Around My Living Room: Clothing, Fabrics, And Sketchbooks With Designs He's Drawn. I Pick One Up And Examine One Of The Dresses I Supposedly Created. You Know, I Think I Show A Lot Of Promise," I Say. Get Dressed, You Worthless Thing.

Whose Is It, Do You Think?" I Say Finally. "no Telling," Says Finnick. "why Don't We Let Peeta Claim It, Since He Died Today?

Then I Know Prim Is Right, That Snow Cannot Afford To Waste Peeta's Life, Especially Now, While The Mockingjay Causes So Much Havoc. He's Killed Cinna Already. Destroyed My Home. My Family, Gale, And Even Haymitch Are Out Of His Reach. Peeta's All He Has Left. "so, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sound About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks."whatever It Takes To Break You.

Fine, Than I Will Not Have To Blame You For Killing My Friends With Your Stupidity. -haymitch

In Our World, I Rank Music Somewhere Between Hair Ribbons And Rainbows In Terms Of Usefulness.

And Suddenly, It's As If There's No One In The World But These Two, Crashing Through Space To Reach Each Other. They Collide, Enfold, Lose Their Balance, And Slam Against A Wall, Where They Stay. Clinging Into One Being. Indivisible.

It Must Be Very Fragile, If A Handful Of Berries Can Bring It Down.

Listen Up. You're In Trouble. Word Is The Capitol's Furious About You Showing Them Up In The Arena. The One Thing They Can't Stand Is Being Laughed At And They're The Joke Of Panem

Lay Down Your Head, And Close Your Sleepy Eyes, And When Again They Open, The Sun Will Rise.

For Some Reason Gale And Peeta Do Not Coexist Well In My Thoughts.

Hope Is The Only Thing Stronger Than Fear.

My Sleep Wasn't Peaceful, Though. I Have The Sense Of Emerging From A World Of Dark, Haunted Places Where I Traveled Alone.

My Time In The Arena Made Me Realize How I Needed To Stop Punishing [my Mother] For Something She Couldn't Help, Specifically The Crushing Depression She Fell Into After My Father's Death. Because Sometimes Things Happen To People And They're Not Equipped To Deal With Them.

I've Asked You Fifty Questions And Still Have No Sense Of Your Life, Your Family, What You Care About. They Want To Know About You, Katniss." "but I Don't Want Them To! They're Already Taking My Future! They Can't Have The Things That Mattered To Time In The Past!" I Say.

If You Die And I Live There's No Life For Me Back In District 12. You're My Whole Life. I Would Never Be Happy Again.

Tomorrow's A Hunting Day," I Say. "i Won't Be Much Of A Help With That," Peeta Says. "i've Never Hunted Before." "i'll Kill And You Cook," I Say. "and You Can Always Gather." "i Wish There Was Some Sort Of Bread Bush Out There," Says Peeta.

I Wish Peeta Were Here To Hold Me, Until I Remember I'm Not Supposed To Wish That Anymore. I Have Chosen Gale And The Rebellion, And A Future With Peeta Is The Capitol's Design, Not Mine.

They'll Either Want To Kill You, Kiss You, Or Be You.

Smiling Is Mostly About Smiling More.

No One Really Needs Me," He Says, And There Is No Self-pity In His Voice. It's True His Family Doesn't Need Him. They Will Mourn Him, As Will A Handful Of Friends. But They Will Get On. Even Haymitch, With The Help Of A Lot Of White Liquor, Will Get On. I Realize Only One Person Will Be Damaged Beyond Repair If Peeta Dies. Me. "i Do," I Say. "i Need You.

What Say You, Luxa?" Said Vikus. "what Can I Say, Vikus? Can I Return To Our People And Tell Them I Withdrew From The Quest When Our Survival Hangs In The Balance?" Said Luxa Bitterly. "of Course You Cannot, Luxa. This Is Why He Times It So," Said Henry. "you Could Choose To - " Started Vikus. "i Could Choose! I Could Choose!" Retorted Luxa. " Do Not Offer Me A Choice When You Know None Exits!" She And Henry Turned Their Backs On Vikus.

The Ones I Loved Fly As Birds In The Open Sky Above Me. Soaring, Weaving, Calling To Me To Join Them. I Want So Badly To Follow Them, But The Seawater Saturates My Wings, Making It Impossible To Lift Them. The Ones I Hated Have Taken To The Water, Horrible Scaled Things That Tear My Salty Flesh With Needle Teeth. Biting Again And Again. Dragging Me Beneath The Surface.

Oh, My Dear Miss Everdeen. I Thought We Had An Agreement Not To Lie To Each Other.

My Name Is Katniss Everdeen. My Home Is District Twelve. Peeta Was Taken Prisoner. He Is Thought To Be Dead. Most Likely Is Dead. It Would Probably Be Best If He Were Dead... - Katniss Everdeens

Five Years Later I Still Wake Up Screaming For Him To Run

Want A Sugar Cube?" He Asks In His Old Seductive Voice.

Better Not To Give In To It.

I Clench His Hands To The Point Of Pain. "stay With Me." His Pupils Contract To Pinpoints, Dialate Again Rapidly, And Then Return To Something Resembling Normalcy. "always," He Murmurs.

And Then, If You Make It To Bedtime, You Feel The Joy Of Cheating Death Out Of One More Day," She Said. "do You See?

My Name Is Katniss Everdeen. Why Am I Not Dead? I Should Be Dead.

Your Favorite Colour . . . It's Green?" "that's Right." Then I Think Of Something To Add. "and Yours Is Orange." "orange?" He Seems Unconvinced. "not Bright Orange. But Soft. Like The Sunset," I Say. "at Least, That's What You Told Me Once." "oh." He Closes His Eyes Briefly, Maybe Trying To Conjure Up That Sunset, Then Nods His Head. "thank You." But More Words Tumble Out. "you're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

I'll Never Know What It Was He Wanted Me To Remember.

I Can’t Fight The Sun. I Can Only Watch Helplessly As It Drags Me Into A Day That I’ve Been Dreading For Months. Katniss Everdeen

Obviously This Person's A Hazard. Stupid People Are Dangerous.

One Time, My Mother Told Me That I Always Eat Like I'll Never See Food Again. And I Said, "i Won't Unless I Bring It Home." That Shut Her Up.

I'm More Than Just A Piece In Their Games.

But There's Food If You Know How To Find It. My Father Knew And He Taught Me Some Before He Was Blown To Bits In A Mine Explosion. There Was Nothing Even To Bury. I Was Eleven Then. Five Years Later, I Still Wake Up Screaming For Him To Run.

Ladies And Gentlemen....." His Voice Is Quiet, But Mine Rings Through The Room. "let The Seventy-sixth Hunger Games Begin!

I Try To Forgive Her For My Father's Sake. But To Be Honest, I'm Not The Forgiving Type.

Because I'm Selfish. I'm A Coward. I'm The Kind Of Girl Who, When She Might Actually Be Of Use, Would Run To Stay Alive And Leave Those Who Couldn't Follow To Suffer And Die.

Someone Ought To Get Haymitch A Drink.

Anyway, Even If She's Sugarcoating My Good Points, I Appreciate It. Frankly, I Could Use A Little Sugarcoating.

It's Impossible To Be The Mockingjay. Impossible To Complete Even This One Sentence. Because Now I Know That Everything I Say Will Be Directly Taken Out On Peeta. Result In His Torture. But Not His Death, No Nothing So Merciful As That. Snow Will Ensure That His Life Is Much Worse Than Death.

Making Knots. Making Knots. No Word. Making Knots. Tick-tock. This Is A Clock. Do Not Think Of Gale. Do Not Think Of Peeta. Making Knots.

Fire Beats Roses Again.

Well You Are A Piece Of Work Aren't You?

But In My Head I Can Hear Haymitch's Smug, If Slightly Exasperated, Words: "yes, That's What I'm Looking For, Sweetheart.

We Star-crossed Lovers Of District 12, Who Suffered So Much And Enjoyed So Little The Rewards Of Our Victory, Do Not Seek Our Fans' Favor, Grace Them With Our Smiles, Or Catch Their Kisses. We Are Unforgiving. And I Love It. Getting To Be Myself At Last.

If You Appeal To The Crowd, Either By Being Humorous Or Brutal Or Eccentric, You Gain Favor.

Kind People Have A Way Of Working Their Way Inside Me And Rooting There.

I Flee What I Can't Fight. What Can Only Do Me Harm.

Yes, I’m A Mouse. Squeak, Squeak. Now Shoo-shoo Back To Your Little Bug Friends,” Said Rirped, Picking Up A Hunk Of Dried Beef. He Tore A Off A Piece With His Teeth And Noticed Boots Hadn’t Moved. He Pulled Back His Lips To Reveal A Row Of Jagged Teeth And Gave Her A Sharp Hiss.

He Hasn't Accepted His Death. He Is Already Fighting Hard To Stay Alive. Which Also Means That Kind Peeta Mellark, The Boy Who Gave Me Bread, Is Fighting Hard To Kill Me.

And Don't You Let Your Guard Down For A Second Because You Think Anything's Inevitable.

Desperate, Yet No Longer Alone After That Day, Because We'd Found Each Other.

I Also Want To Tell Him How Much I Already Miss Him. But That Wouldn't Be Fair On My Part.

But Some Secrets Are Too Delicious Not To Share.

But There Was Only One Kiss That Made Me Feel Something Stir Deep Inside. Only One That Made Me Want More. But My Head Wound Started Bleeding And He Made Me Lie Down.

Here, Cover Yourself With This And I'll Wash Your Shorts." "oh, I Don't Care If You See Me," Says Peeta.

She Must Have Really Loved Him To Leave Her Home For The Seam. I Try To Remember That When All I Can See Is The Woman Who Sat By, Blank And Unreachable, While Her Children Turned To Skin And Bones. I Try To Forgive Her For My Father's Sake. But To Be Honest, I'm Not The Forgiving Type.

It's Lovely. If Only You Could Frost Someone To Death." "don't Be So Superior. You Can Never Tell What You Will Find In The Arena. Say It's A Gigantic Cake-

I Want To Do Something, Right Here, Right Now, To Shame Them, To Make Them Accountable, To Show The Capitol That Whatever They Do Or Force Us To Do There Is A Part Of Every Tribute They Can't Own. That Rue Was More Than A Piece In Their Games. And So Am I.

Let Me Go!” I Snarl At Him, Trying To Wrest My Arm From His Grasp. “i Can’t,” He Says.

How Much Energy They Put Into Harming Each Other. How Little Into Saving.

I Can Feel Peeta Press His Forehead Into My Temple And He Asks, 'so Now That You've Got Me, What Are You Going To Do With Me?' I Turn Into Him. 'put You Somewhere You Can't Get Hurt.

I Notice Her Blouse Has Pulled Out Of Her Skirt In The Back Again And Force Myself To Stay Calm. "tuck Your Tail In, Little Duck," I Say, Smoothing The Blouse Back In Place. Prim Giggles And Give Me A Small "quack." "quack Yourself," I Say With A Light Laugh. The Kind Only Prim Can Draw Out Of Me.

I Cover My Face With My Arms Because This Isn't Happening. It Isn't Possible. For Someone To Make Peeta Forget He Loves Me . . . No One Can Do That.

By The End Of The Session, I Am No One At All. Haymitch Started Drinking Somewhere Around Witty, And A Nasty Edge Has Crept Into His Voice. "i Give Up, Sweetheart. Just Answer The Questions And Try Not To Let The Audience See How Openly You Despise Them.

I Poke Around In The Pile, About To Settle On Some Cod Chowder, When Peeta Holds Out A Can To Me. “here.” I Take It, Not Knowing What To Expect. The Label Reads Lamb Stew.

I Miss Home Badly Sometimes. But Then I Remember There's Nothing Left To Miss Anymore. I Feel Safer Here.

Then He Smiles As If He'd Be Happy To Lie There And Gaze At Me Forever.

There's No Point In Comforting Words, In Telling Her She'll Be All Right. She's No Fool. Her Hand Reaches Out And I Clutch It Like A Lifeline. As If It's Me Who's Dying Instead Of Rue.

He Puts The Chain With The Locket Around My Neck, Then Rests His Hand Over The Spot Where Our Baby Would Be. “you’re Going To Make A Great Mother, You Know,” He Says. He Kisses Me One Last Time And Goes Back To Finnick.

Cato Kneels Beside Clove, Spear In Hand, Begging Her To Stay With Him. In A Moment, He Will Realize It's Futile, She Can't Be Saved.

I Don't Want To Cry. Everyone Will Make Note Of My Tears And I'll Be Marked As An Easy Target. A Weakling. I Will Give No One That Satisfaction.

I Look Down From The Branch I'm Perched On. The Careers Look Murderous. Now I Smile.'how Have Things Been With You?' I Ask Sweetly.

Taking The Kids From Our Districts, Forcing Them To Kill One Another While We Watch – This Is The Capitol’s Way Of Reminding Us How Totally We Are At Their Mercy.

All Those Months Of Taking It For Granted That Peeta Thought I Was Wonderful Are Over. Finally, He Can See Me For Who I Really Am. Violent. Distrustful. Manipulative. Deadly. And I Hate Him For It.

She's Prim's Size In Diameter.

If Under Fell, If Over Leaped, If Death Was Life And Death Life Reaped, Something Rises From The Gloom, To Make The Underland A Tomb Hear It Scratching Down Below, Rat Of Long Forgotten Snow, Evil Cloaked In Coat Of White, Will The Warrior Drain Your Light? What Could Turn The Warrior Week? What Do Burning Gnawers Seek? Just A Barely Speaking Pup That Holds The Land Of Under Up Die The Baby, Die His Heart Die His Most Essential Part Die The Peace That Rules The Hour, Gnawers Have Their Key To Power

This Is The First Kiss That We're Both Fully Aware Of. Neither Of Us Hobbled By Sickness Or Pain Or Simply Unconscious. Our Lips Neither Burning With Fever Or Icy Cold. This Is The First Kiss Where I Actually Feel Stirring Inside My Chest. Warm And Curious. This Is The First Kiss That Makes Me Want Another.

Why Don't I Just Pretend I'm On Camera, Plutarch?" I Say. "yes! Perfect. One Is Always Much Braver With An Audience," He Says. "look At The Courage Peeta Just Displayed!" It's All I Can Do Not To Slap Him.

The Raw Hunk Of Meat That Used To Be My Enemy Makes A Sound, And I Know Where The Mouth Is. And I Think The Word He's Trying To Say Is 'please'. Pity, Not Vengeance Sends My Arrow Flying Into His Skull.

If My Holding Out Those Berries Was An Act Of Temporary Insanity, Then Those People Will Embrace Insanity Too.

Temporary Insanity

The Bird, The Pin, The Song, The Berries, The Watch, The Cracker, The Dress That Burst Into Flames. I Am The Mockingjay. The One That Survived Despite The Capitol's Plans. The Symbol Of The Rebellion.

Today I Might Lose Both Of Them. I Try To Imagine A World Where Both Gale's And Peeta's Voices Have Ceased. Hands Stilled. Eyes Unblinking. I'm Standing Over Their Bodies, Having A Last Look, Leaving The Room Where They Lie. But When I Open The Door To Step Out Into The World, There's Only A Tremendous Void. A Pale Grey Nothingness That Is All My Future Holds.

Well, I Knew That Goat Would Be A Little Gold Mine," I Say. Yes, Of Course I Was Referring To That, Not The Lasting Joy You Gave Your Sister You Love So Much You Took Her Place In The Reaping," Says Peeta Drily.

Because It Doesn't Matter Anymore, And Because I'm So Desperately Lonely I Can't Stand It.

You'd Have Thought We Planned It," Says Peeta, Giving Me Just The Hint Of A Smile. "didn't You?" Asks Portia. Her Fingers Press Her Eyelids Closed As If She's Warding Off A Very Bright Light. "no," I Say Looking At Peeta With A New Sense Of Apreciation. "neither Of Us Even Knew What We Were Going To Do Before We Went In." "and Haymitch?" Says Peeta. "we Decided We Don't Want Any Other Allies In The Arena." "good. Then I Won't Be Responsible For You Killing Off Any Of My Friends With Your Stupidity," He Says.

Birds Are Settling Down For The Night, Singing Lullabies To Their Young.

Trending Author

Francis Fukuyama

Category