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By The End Of The Session, I Am No One At All. Haymitch Started Drinking Somewhere Around Witty, And A Nasty Edge Has Crept Into His Voice. "i Give Up, Sweetheart. Just Answer The Questions And Try Not To Let The Audience See How Openly You Despise Them.

-Suzanne Collins

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By The End Of

Suzanne Collins

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By The End Of The Session, I Am No One At All. Haymitch Started Drinking Somewhere Around Witty, And A Nasty Edge Has Crept Into His Voice. "i Give Up, Sweetheart. Just Answer The Questions And Try Not To Let The Audience See How Openly You Despise Them.

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Some Walks You Have To Take Alone.

Mockingjay Book

I'm Very Hard To Catch," Says Rue. "and If They Can't Catch Me, They Can't Kill Me. So Don't Count Me Out.

The Pain Over My Heart Returns, And From It I Imagine Tiny Fissures Spreading Out Into My Body. Through My Torso, Down My Arms And Legs, Over My Face, Leaving It Crisscrossed With Cracks. One Good Jolt...and I Could Shatter Into Strange Razor-sharp Shards.

No One Really Needs Me,” He Says, And There's No Self-pity In His Voice...“i Do,” I Say. “i Need You.” He Looks Upset, Takes A Deep Breath As If To Begin A Long Argument, And That's No Good, No Good At All, Because He'll Start Going On About Prim And My Mother And Everything And I'll Just Get Confused. So Before He Can Talk, I Stop His Lips With A Kiss.

So I Learned To Hold My Tongue And To Turn My Features Into An Indifferent Mask So That No One Could Ever Read My Thoughts.

If I'm Going To Cry, Now Is The Time. By Morning, I'll Be Able To Wash All The Damage Done By The Tears From My Face. But No Tears Come. I'm Too Tired Or Too Numb To Cry. The Only Thing I Feel Is A Desire To Be Somewhere Else. So I Let The Train Rock Me Into Oblivion.

Listen Up. You're In Trouble. Word Is The Capitol's Furious About You Showing Them Up In The Arena. The One Thing They Can't Stand Is Being Laughed At And They're The Joke Of Panem

When I Break Into The Clearing, She's On The Ground, Hopelessly Entangled In A Net. She Just Has The Time To Reach Her Hand Through The Mesh And Say My Name Before The Spear Enters Her Body.

Sick And Disoriented, I'm Able To Form Only One Thought: Peeta Mellark Just Saved My Life.

That's Very Funny," Says Peeta. Suddenly He Lashes Out At The Glass In Haymitch's Hand. It Shatters On The Floor, Sending The Bloodred Liquid Running Toward The Back Of The Train. "only Not To Us.

Tonight. After The Reaping, Everyone Is Supposed To Celebrate. And A A Lot Of People Do, Out Of Relief That Their Children Have Been Spared For Another Year. But At Least Two Families Will Pull Their Shutters, Lock Their Doors, And Try To Figure Out How They Will Survive The Painful Weeks To Come.

Oh, That I Do Know...katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

Mockingjay Book

Nerrissa? You Believe Her? Well, You At Least Have To Credit Her With A Certain Instability! Remember When She Told You That I Was Going To Take Over The Fount With And Army Of Lobsters?" Said Ripred. You Did Try To Take Over The Fount With An Army Of Lobsters." Said Vikus. Yes, Yes, But It Was Years Before She Was Born. My Point Is, She Flip-flops In And Out Of Time Like A Fish In Shallow Waters." Answered Ripred.

Upon This Crown My Pledge I Give, To My Last Breath,i Hold This Choice, I Will Your Unjust Deaths Avenge, All Here Who Died Without A Voice.

So, In A Way, My Name Being Drawn In The Reaping Was A Real Piece Of Luck," Says Peeta.

I Reach Out To Touch His Cheek And He Catches My Hand And Presses It Against His Lips.

The Realization That I’d Have Nothing To Take Home Had Finally Sunk In. My Knees Buckled And I Slid Down The Tree Trunk To Its Roots. It Was Too Much. I Was Too Sick And Weak And Tired, Oh, So Tired. Let Them Call The Peacekeepers And Take Us To The Community Home, I Thought. Or Better Yet, Let Me Die Right Here In The Rain.

You Have A... Remarkable Memory." "i Remember Everything About You. You're The One Who Wasn't Paying Attention.

Remembers Everything

If Your Parent Is Deployed And You Are That Young, You Spend The Whole Time Wondering Where They Are And Waiting For Them To Come Home. As Time Passes And The Absence Is Longer And Longer, You Become More And More Concerned - But You Don't Really Have The Words To Express Your Concern. There's Only This Continued Absence.

So, Here’s What You Do. You Win, You Go Home. She Can’t Turn You Down Then, Eh?” Says Caesar Encouragingly. “i Don’t Think It’s Going To Work Out. Winning…won’t Help In My Case,” Says Peeta. “why Ever Not?” Says Caesar, Mystified. Peeta Blushes Beet Red And Stammers Out. “because…because…she Came Here With Me.

How About You, Mockingjay? You Feel Totally Safe?” “oh, Yeah. Right Up Until I Got Shot,” I Say.

We Have To Joke About It Because The Alternative Is To Be Scared

For There To Be Betrayal, There Would Have To Have Been Trust First.

Just Because People Starve In A Book, Doesn't Mean That We Will Starve In The Future.

At The Moment, The Choice Would Be Simple. I Can Survive Just Fine Without Either Of Them.

Flight Is Essential, But I Can't Let My Fear Show.

I Stand There, Feeling Broken And Small, Thousands Of Eyes Trained On Me.

It's Funny, Because Even Though They're Rattling On About The Games, It's All About Where They Were Or What They Were Doing Or How They Felt When A Specific Event Occurred. . . . Everything Is About Them, Not The Dying Boys And Girls In The Arena

He Became My Confidante, Someone With Whom I Could Share Thoughts I Could Never Voice...in Exchange, He Trusted Me With His.

Positioned On My Dresser, That White-as-snow Rose Is A Personal Message To Me. It Speaks Of Unfinished Business. It Whispers, I Can Find You. I Can Reach You. Perhaps I Am Watching You Now.

Unfinished Business

"if I Could Grow Wings, I Could Fly. Only People Can't Grow Wings," He Say's. "real Or Not Real?" "real," I Say. "but People Don't Need Wings To Survive." "mockingjays Do."

Since My Father Died And I Stopped Trusting My Mother, No One Else's Arms Have Made Me Feel This Safe.

Maybe The Other Tributes Are Out There Beating One Another Senseless. Which Would Be Fine. - Katniss -

As Long As You Can Find Yourself, You’ll Never Starve.

Finding Yourself

Fire Is Catching! And If We Burn, You Burn With Us!

There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

"katniss?" He Drops My Hand And I Take A Step, As If To Catch My Balance. "it Was All For The Games," Peeta Says. "how You Acted." "not All Of It," I Say, Tightly Holding Onto My Flowers. "then How Much? No, Forget That. I Guess The Real Question Is What's Going To Be Left When We Get Home?" He Says. "i Don't Know. The Closer We Get To District Twelve, The More Confused I Get," I Say. He Waits, For Further Explanation, But None's Forthcoming. "well, Let Me Know When You Work It Out," He Says, And The Pain In His Voice Is Palpable.

In The End, The Only Person I Truly Want To Comfort Me Is Haymitch, Because He Loves Peeta, Too.

"katniss," Gale Says Softly. I Recognize That Voice. It's The Same One He Uses To Approach Wounded Animals Before He Delivers A Deathblow. I Instinctively Raise My Hand To Block His Words But He Catches It And Holds On Tightly. "don't," I Whisper. But Gale Is Not One To Keep Secrets From Me. "katniss, There Is No District Twelve."

We Each Get Fifteen Minutes Before The Gamemakers To Amaze Them With Our Skills, But I Don't Know What Any Of Us Might Have To Show Them. There's A Lot Of Kidding About It At Lunch. What We Might Do. Sing, Dance, Strip, Tell Jokes. Mags, Who I Can Understand A Little Better Now, Decides She's Just Going To Take A Nap.

I Have Not Wept Since The Death Of My Parents," Said Luxa Quietly. "but I Am Thought To Be Unnatural In This Respect.

Most Rats Read. Our Frustration Is, We Cannot Hold A Pen To Write.

It Crosses My Mind That Cinna's Calm And Normal Demeanor Masks A Complete Madman.

What I Need Is The Dandelion In The Spring. The Bright Yellow That Means Rebirth Instead Of Destruction. The Promise That Life Can Go On, No Matter How Bad Our Losses. That It Can Be Good Again.

Deep In The Meadow, Hidden Far Away, A Cloak Of Leaves, A Moonbeam Ray, Forget Your Woes And Let Your Troubles Lay, And When Again It's Morning, They'll Wash Away. Here It's Safe, Here It's Warm, Here The Daisies Guard You From Every Harm, Here Your Dreams Are Sweet And Tomorrow Brings Them True, Here Is The Place Where I Love You.

Even Though I Don't Ask, Plutarch Gives Me Cheerful Updates On The Phone Like "good News, Katniss! I Think We've Almost Got Him Convinced You're Not A Mutt!" Or "today He Was Allowed To Feed Himself Pudding!

If You Won't Talk About Yourself, At Least Compliment The Audience. Just Keep Turning It Back Around, All Right. Gush.

We Sit In Silence Awhile Then I Blurt Out The Thing That's On Both Our Minds. "how Are We Going To Kill These People, Peeta?

At Once, It’s Clear I Cannot Gush. We Try Me Playing Cocky, But I Just Don’t Have The Arrogance. Apparently, I’m Too “vulnerable” For Ferocity. I’m Not Witty. Funny. Sexy. Or Mysterious By The End Of The Session, I Am No One At All.

That If Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures, Then I'm Free To Act As Desperately As I Wish.

Desperate Measures

Well, I Don't Have Much Competition Here." "you Don't Have Much Competition Anywhere.

I Cover My Face With My Arms Because This Isn't Happening. It Isn't Possible. For Someone To Make Peeta Forget He Loves Me . . . No One Can Do That.

Deep In The Meadow , Under The Willow , A Bed Of Grass , A Soft Green Pillow

But There Was Only One Kiss That Made Me Feel Something Stir Deep Inside. Only One That Made Me Want More. But My Head Wound Started Bleeding And He Made Me Lie Down.

Katniss Everdeen, You Have Caused A Spark, Wich Left Unattended, May Cause A Spark That Could Cause A Whole Rebelion

There's No Going Back. So We Might As Well Get On With Things.

I Begin To Fully Understand The Lengths To Which People Have Gone To Protect Me. What I Mean To The Rebels. My On Going Struggle Against The Capitol, Which Has So Often Felt Like A Solitary Journey, Has Not Been Undertaken Alone. I Have Had Thousands Upon Thousands Of People From The Districts At My Side. I Was Their Mockingjay Long Before I Accepted The Role.

Happy Hunger Games! And May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor.

Because Something Is Significantly Wrong With A Creature That Sacrifices Its Children’s Lives To Settle Its Differences.

I Don't Know What I Expected From My First Meeting With Peeta After The Announcement. A Few Hugs And Kisses. A Little Comfort Maybe. Not This. I Turn To Haymitch. "don't Worry, I'll Get You More Liquor.

Did You Love Annie Right Away, Finnick?" I Ask. "no." A Long Time Passes Before He Adds, "she Crept Up On Me.

Unfortunately, I Can't Seal The Sponsor Deals For You. Only Haymitch Can Do That," Says Effie Grimly. "but Don't Worry, I'll Get Him To The Table At Gunpoint If Necessary." Although Lacking In Many Departments, Effie Trinket Has A Certain Determination I Have To Admire.

I'm Unaware That My Feet Are Moving To The Table Until I'm Inches From The Holograph. My Hand Reaches In And Cups A Rapidly Blinking Green Light. Someone Joins Me, His Body Tense. Finnick, Of Course. Because Only A Victor Would See What I See So Immediately. The Arena. Laced With Pods Controlled By Gamemakers. Finnick's Fingers Caress A Steady Red Glow Over A Doorway. "ladies And Gentlemen..." His Voice Is Quiet, But Mine Rings Through The Room. "let The Seventy-sixth Hunger Games Begin!

I Keep Hoping That As Time Passes By, We’ll Regain The Ease Between Us, But Part Of Me Knows It’s Futile. There’s No Going Back.

Enobaria Smiles At Johanna. 'don't Look So Smug,' Says Johanna. 'we'll Kill You Anyway.

I Raise My Left Arm And Twist My Neck Down To Rip Off The Pill On My Sleeve. Instead My Teeth Sink Into Flesh. I Yank My Head Back In Confusion To Find Myself Looking Into Peeta’s Eyes, Only Now They Hold My Gaze. Blood Runs From The Teeth Marks On The Hand He Clamped Over My Nightlock. “let Me Go!” I Snarl At Him, Trying To Wrest My Arm From His Grasp. “i Can’t,” He Says.

I'm Sick Of People Lying To Me For My Own Good. Because Really It's Mostly For Their Own Good.

If Under Fell, If Over Leaped, If Death Was Life And Death Life Reaped, Something Rises From The Gloom, To Make The Underland A Tomb Hear It Scratching Down Below, Rat Of Long Forgotten Snow, Evil Cloaked In Coat Of White, Will The Warrior Drain Your Light? What Could Turn The Warrior Week? What Do Burning Gnawers Seek? Just A Barely Speaking Pup That Holds The Land Of Under Up Die The Baby, Die His Heart Die His Most Essential Part Die The Peace That Rules The Hour, Gnawers Have Their Key To Power

I Don’t Want Anyone With Me Today. Not Even Him. Some Walks You Have To Take Alone.

I Can't Argue That Finnick Isn't One Of The Most Stunning, Sensuous People On The Planet. But I Can Honestly Say He's Never Been Attractive To Me. Maybe He's Too Pretty, Or Maybe He's Too Easy To Get, Or Maybe It's Really That He'd Just Be Too Easy To Lose.

I Have Been Keeping Track Of The Boy With The Bread.

Peeta" I Said "stay With Me" I Heard Him Say One Word Before The Drigs Pulled Me Under, I Realised Later That What He Said Was 'always

Only I Keep Wishing I Could Think Of A Way...to Show The Capitol They Don't Own Me. That I'm More Than Just A Piece In Their Games.

I Wonder If Effie Will Still Be Wearing That Silly Pink Wig, Or Is She'll Be Sporting Some Other Unnatural Color Especially For The Victor Tour.

My Sleep Wasn't Peaceful, Though. I Have The Sense Of Emerging From A World Of Dark, Haunted Places Where I Traveled Alone.

It's The First Gift That's Always The Hardest To Pay Back.

Once I'm On My Feet I Realize Escape Might Not Be So Simple, Panic Begins To Set In. I Can't Stay Here. Flight Is Essential But I Can't Let My Fear Show. Winning Means Fame And Fortune, Losing Mean Certain Death, The Hunger Games Have Begun . . .

I Do Think You're Mad And I'll Still Go With You.

I Sit Back On My Bed Cross-legged And Find Myself Rubbing The Smooth Iridescent Surface Of The Pearl Back And Forth Against My Lips. For Some Reason, It’s Soothing. A Cool Kiss

I Knew You'd Kiss Me." "how?" I Say. Because I Didn't Know Myself. "because I Am In Pain," He Say's. "that's The Only Way I Get Your Attention.

Remembering From Last Year How Haymitch's Gifts Are Often Timed To Send A Message, I Make A Note To Myself. Be Friends With Finnick. You'll Get Food.

But In My Head I Can Hear Haymitch's Smug, If Slightly Exasperated, Words: "yes, That's What I'm Looking For, Sweetheart.

I Can Hear Him Weeping But I Don't Care. They Probably Won't Even Bother To Question Her, She's So Far Gone. Gone Right Off The Deep End Years Ago In Her Games. There's A Good Chance I'm Headed In The Same Direction. Maybe I'm Already Going Crazy And No One Has The Heart To Tell Me. I Feel Crazy Enough.

Having An Eye For Beauty Isn't The Same Thing As A Weakness...except Possibly When It Comes To You.

I Just Don't Want Them To Change Me, If I'm Going To Die I Still Want To Be Me.

But It's Not Safe And I Can Feel Him Slipping Away, So I Just Get Out One More Sentence. "stay With Me." As The Tendrils Of Sleep Syrup Pull Me Down, I Hear Him Whisper A Word Back But I Don't Catch It.

I Have Two Older Sisters And One Older Brother And Hold Them Largely Responsible For The Trouble I Got Into Growing Up. I Believe As The Youngest Child, That Is My Right.

He Could Have Had His Choice Of Any Woman In The District. And He Chose Solitude. Not Solitude – That Sounds Too Peaceful. More Like Solitary Confinement.

Right Before The Explosions Begin, I Find A Star.

Cleaning Me Up Is Just A Preliminary Step To Determining My New Look. With My Acid-damaged Hair, Sunburned Skin, And Ugly Scars, The Prep Team Has To Make Me Pretty And Then Damage, Burn, And Scare Me In A More Attractive Way.

It's To The Capitol's Advantage To Have Us Divided Among Ourselves. Another Tool To Cause Misery In Our District. A Way To Plant Hatred Between The Starving Workers [of The Seam] And Those Who Can Generally Count On Supper And Thereby Ensure We Will Never Trust One Another.

If He Goes And Dies On Me Now, I Know I'll Go Completely Insane.

Peeta, You Were Supposed To Wake Me After A Couple Of Hours," I Say. "for What? Nothing's Going On Here," He Says. "besides, I Like Watching You Sleep. You Don't Scowl. Improves Your Looks A Lot." This, Of Course, Brings On A Scowl That Makes Him Grin.

I Don't Like Self-righteous People," I Say. "what's To Like?" Says Haymitch, Who Begins Sucking The Dregs Out Of The Empty Bottles.

The Ones I Loved Fly As Birds In The Open Sky Above Me. Soaring, Weaving, Calling To Me To Join Them. I Want So Badly To Follow Them, But The Seawater Saturates My Wings, Making It Impossible To Lift Them. The Ones I Hated Have Taken To The Water, Horrible Scaled Things That Tear My Salty Flesh With Needle Teeth. Biting Again And Again. Dragging Me Beneath The Surface.

Plutarch Rushes To Reassure Me. "oh, No, Katniss. Not Your Wedding. Finnick And Annie's. All You Need To Do Is Show Up And Pretend To Be Happy For Them." "that's One Of The Few Things I Won't Have To Pretend, Plutarch," I Tell Him.

If He Wants Me Broken, Then I Will Have To Be Whole.

By The Way, I Know About The Kiss." Then The Door Clicks Shut Behind Him.

You Know, I Think This Is The First Time We've Ever Done Anything Normal Together.

All The General Fear I've Been Feeling Condenses Into An Immediate Fear Of This Girl, This Predator Who Might Kill Me In Seconds. Adrenaline Shoots Through Me And I Sling The Pack Over One Shoulder And Run Full-speed For The Woods. I Can Hear The Blade Whistling Toward Me And Reflexively Hike The Pack Up To Protect My Head. The Blade Lodges In The Pack. Both Straps On My Shoulders Now, I Make For The Trees. Somehow I Knew The Girl Will Not Pursue Me. That She'll Be Drawn Back Into The Cornucopia Before All The Good Stuff Is Gone. A Grin Crosses My Face. Thanks For The Knife, I Think.

No, It Happened. And Right When Your Song Ended, I Knew - Just Like Your Mother - I Was A Goner,' Peeta Says.

When I Was Young I Was Trained In Stage Fighting And Rapier And Dagger, For Several Years.

Better Not To Give In To It.

That What?" "that I Knew I Misjudged You. That You Love Him. I'm Not Saying In What Way. Maybe You Don't Know Yourself. But Anyone Paying Attention Could See How Much You Care About Him," He Says Gently.

I Realize Only One Person Will Be Damaged Beyond Repair If Peeta Dies. Me.

The Walls Of This Elevator Are Made Of Crystal So That You Can Watch The People On The Ground Floor Shrink To Ants As You Shoot Up Into The Air. It's Exhilarating And I'm Tempted To Ask Effie Trinket If We Can Ride It Again, But Somehow That Seems Childish.

I Don't Want To Cry. Everyone Will Make Note Of My Tears And I'll Be Marked As An Easy Target. A Weakling. I Will Give No One That Satisfaction.

But Mockingjays Were Never A Weapon," Said Madge. "they’re Just Songbirds. Right?" "yeah, I Guess So,” I Said, But It’s Not True. A Mockingbird Is Just A Songbird. A Mockingjay Is A Creature The Capitol Never Intended To Exist. They Hadn’t Counted On The Highly Controlled Jabberjay Having The Brains To Adapt To The Wild, To Thrive In A New Form. They Hadn’t Anticipated Its Will To Live.

Because I'm Selfish. I'm A Coward. I'm The Kind Of Girl Who, When She Might Actually Be Of Use, Would Run To Stay Alive And Leave Those Who Couldn't Follow To Suffer And Die.

I Don't Want To Lose The Boy With The Bread.

Hunger For Love

Slowly, With Many Lost Days, I Come Back To Life.

If I Can Make It Clear That I’m Still Defying The Capitol Right Up To The End, The Capitol Will Have Killed Me... But Not My Spirit. What Better Way To Give Hope To The Rebels?

He Hates Me More," Says Peeta. "i Don't Think People In General Are His Sort Of Thing.

And It’s All My Fault, Gale. Because Of What I Did In The Arena. If I Had Just Killed Myself With Those Berries, None Of This Would’ve Happened. Peeta Could Have Come Home And Lived, And Everyone Else Would Have Been Safe, Too.” “safe To Do What?” He Says In A Gentler Tone. “starve? Work Like Slaves? Send Their Kids To The Reaping? You Haven’t Hurt People – You’ve Given Them An Opportunity. They Just Have To Be Brave Enough To Take It.

What Must It Be Like, I Wonder, To Live In A World Where Food Appears At The Press Of A Button?

Finally, The Intercom Crackles And Hatmitch's Acerbic Laugh Fills The Studio. He Contains Himself Just Long Enough To Say, 'and That, My Friends, Is How A Revolution Dies.

When You're In The Arena...you Just Remember Who The Enemy Is" - Haymitch

Just The Sound Of His Voice Twists My Stomach Into A Knot Of Unpleasant Emotions Like Guilt, Sadness And Fear. And Longing. I Might As Well Admit There’s Some Of That Too.

I Thought He Wanted It, Anyway," I Say. "not Like This," Haymitch Says. "he Wanted It To Be Real.

Everything Is About Them, Not The Dying Boys And Girls In The Arena.

Want A Sugar Cube?- Finnick Odair,

But Because Two Can Play At This Game, I Stand On Tiptoe And Kiss His Cheek. Right On His Bruise.

Telling A Story In A Futuristic World Gives You This Freedom To Explore Things That Bother You In Contemporary Times.

Your Favorite Colour . . . It's Green?" "that's Right." Then I Think Of Something To Add. "and Yours Is Orange." "orange?" He Seems Unconvinced. "not Bright Orange. But Soft. Like The Sunset," I Say. "at Least, That's What You Told Me Once." "oh." He Closes His Eyes Briefly, Maybe Trying To Conjure Up That Sunset, Then Nods His Head. "thank You." But More Words Tumble Out. "you're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

"i'm So Sorry," I Whisper. I Lean Forward And Kiss Him. His Eyelashes Flutter And He Looks At Me Through A Haze Of Opiates. "hey, Catnip." "hey, Gale," I Say. "thought You'd Be Gone By Now," He Says. My Choices Are Simple. I Can Die Like A Quarry In The Woods Or I Can Die Here Beside Gale. "i'm Not Going Anywhere. I'm Going To Stay Right Here And Cause All Kinds Of Trouble." "me, Too," Gale Says. He Just Manages A Smile Before The Drugs Pull Him Back Under.

That's Right. Who Am I Thinking Of? Oh, I Know. It's Cinna Who Likes You. But That's Mainly Because You Didn't Try To Run When He Set You On Fire," Says Peeta. "on The Other Hand, Haymitch... Well, If I Were You, I'd Avoid Haymitch Completely. He Hates You.

It's Lovely. If Only You Could Frost Someone To Death." "don't Be So Superior. You Can Never Tell What You Will Find In The Arena. Say It's A Gigantic Cake-

Everything Is Happening Too Fast For Me To Process It.

Well, I Can't Leave Mags Behind," Says Finnick. "she's One Of The Few People Who Actually Likes Me.

Then It’s Just Venia, Whose Skin Is So Pale Her Tattoos Appear To Be Leaping Off It. Almost Rigid With Determination, She Does My Hair And Nails And Makeup, Fingers Flying Swiftly To Compensate For Her Absent Teammates. The Whole Time, She Avoids My Gaze. It’s Only When Cinna Shows Up To Approve Me And Dismiss Her That She Takes My Hands, Looks Me Straight In The Eye, And Says, “we Would All Like You To Know What A…privilege It Has Been To Make You Look Your Best.” Then She Hastens From The Room.

Somehow It Always Comes Back To Coal At School.

I Miss Him So Badly It Hurts.

Oh, Peeta, Don't Make Me Sorry I Restarted Your Heart.

Mockingjay Book

Even In War There Should Be Lines You Didn't Cross.

I Don't Know How To Make People Like Me. Cinna, How Do You Make People Like You?

I Curl Up, Make Myself Smaller, Try To Disappear Entirely. Wrapped In Silence, I Slide My Bracelet That Reads 'mentally Disoriented' Around And Around My Wrist.

I Know. I Was Hoping," I Say. "exactly. Because You're Desperate," Says Haymitch. I Don't Argue Because, Of Course, He's Right.

No One Knows What To Do With You, Girlie.

Destroying Things Is Much Easier Than Making Them.

Hunger Games Book

Come On And Eat With Him. I Promise, I Won't Let Him Kiss You Again.

And Then, When He’s Been Underwater So Long I Feel Certain He’s Drowned, His Head Pops Up Right Next To Me And I Start. “don’t Do That,” I Say. “what? Come Up Or Stay Under?” He Says. “either. Neither. Whatever

It's Impossible To Be The Mockingjay. Impossible To Complete Even This One Sentence. Because Now I Know That Everything I Say Will Be Directly Taken Out On Peeta. Result In His Torture. But Not His Death, No Nothing So Merciful As That. Snow Will Ensure That His Life Is Much Worse Than Death.

As We Ride The Elevator Gale Finally Says “you're Still Angry.” “and You're Still Not Sorry,” I Reply. "i Will Stand By What I Said. Do You Want Me To Lie About It?” He Asks. “no, I Want You To Rethink It And Come Up With The Right Opinion,” I Tell Him.

It's Just Me And The Bane. And I'm Fighting Him Because He Killed All Of Those Innocent Mice And People, And I Have To Stop Him. Not Because Sandwich Says So But Because I Say So.

Her Name's Prim. She's Just Twelve. And I Love Her More Than Anything.

I Lean Over And Put My Good Ear To His Lips, Which Tickle Me As He Whispers. "remember, We're Madly In Love, So It's All Right To Kiss Me Any Time You Like It.

Here, Cover Yourself With This And I'll Wash Your Shorts." "oh, I Don't Care If You See Me," Says Peeta.

I Pull An Arrow, Whip The Notch Into Place, And Am About To Let It Fly When I'm Stopped By The Sight Of Finnick Kissing Peeta. And It's So Bizarre, Even For Finnick.

The Damage, The Fatigue, The Imperfections. That's How They Recognize Me; Why I Belong To Them.

I Wish She Was Dead,' He Says. 'i Wish They Were All Dead And We Were, Too. It Would Be Best.

I Think....you Still Have No Idea. The Effect You Can Have.

How Much Better My Life Has Been For Knowing Him. For Loving Him, Even If It's Only In The Limited Way That I Can Manage. But I Never Get The Chance.

Remember, Heads High. Smiles. They're Going To Love You!

The Woods Always Look Different At Night...as If The Daytime Trees And Flowers And Stones Had Gone To Bed And Sent Slightly More Ominous Versions Of Themselves To Take Their Places.

You’re Not Leaving Me Here Alone,” I Say. Because If He Dies, I’ll Never Go Home, Not Really. I’ll Spend The Rest Of My Life In This Arena, Trying To Think My Way Out.

Well, I Knew That Goat Would Be A Little Gold Mine," I Say. Yes, Of Course I Was Referring To That, Not The Lasting Joy You Gave Your Sister You Love So Much You Took Her Place In The Reaping," Says Peeta Drily.

I've Spent So Much Time Making Sure I Don't Underestimate My Opponents That I've Forgotten It's Just As Dangerous To Overestimate Them As Well.

I Have Zero Interest In These Capitol People. They Are Only Distractions From The Food.

Then Octavia Drops To Her Knees, Rubs The Hem Of A Skirt Against Her Cheek, And Burst Into Tears. "it's Been So Long," She Gasps, "since I've Seen Anything Pretty.

I Go To The Saltwater And Wash Off The Blood, Trying To Decide Which I Hate More, Pain Or Itching. Fed Up, I Stomp Back Onto The Beach, Turn My Face Upward And Snap, "hey, Haymitch, If You're Not Too Drunk, We Could Use A Little Something For Our Skin." It's Almost Funny How Quickly The Parachute Appears Above Me. I Reach Up And The Tube Lands Squarely In My Open Hand. "about Time" I Say, But I Can't Keep The Scowl On My Face. Haymitch. What I Wouldn't Give For Five Minutes Of Conversation With Him.

Don't. Don't Let's Pretend When There's No One Around.

Four People Wheel Out A Huge Wedding Cake From A Side Room. Most Of The Guests Back Up, Making Way For This Rarity, This Dazzling Creation With Blue-green, White-tipped Icing Waves Swimming With Fish And Sailboats, Seals And Sea Flowers. But I Push My Way Through The Crowd To Confirm What I Knew At First Sight. As Surely As The Embroidery Stitches In Annie's Gown Were Done By Cinna's Hand, The Frosted Flowers On The Cake Were Done By Peeta's.

Do I Really Want Him Dead? What I Want... What I Want Is To Have Him Back.

Katniss?" Peeta Says. I Meet His Eyes, Knowing My Face Must Be Some Shade Of Green. He Mouths The Words. "how About That Kiss?

Great. Now I Have To Go Back And Tell Haymitch I Want An Eighty-year-old And Nuts And Volts For My Allies. He'll Love That.

I Drag Myself Out Of Nightmares Each Morning And Find There's No Relief In Waking.

Peeta And I Had Adjoining Cells In The Capitol. We're Very Familiar With Each Other's Screams.” Annie, Who's On Johanna's Other Side, Does That Thing Where She Covers Her Ears And Exits Reality. Finnick Shoots Johanna An Angry Look As His Arm Encircles Annie. “what? My Head Doctor Says I'm Not Supposed To Censor My Thoughts. It's Part Of My Therapy,” Replies Johanna.

Yes, I’m A Mouse. Squeak, Squeak. Now Shoo-shoo Back To Your Little Bug Friends,” Said Rirped, Picking Up A Hunk Of Dried Beef. He Tore A Off A Piece With His Teeth And Noticed Boots Hadn’t Moved. He Pulled Back His Lips To Reveal A Row Of Jagged Teeth And Gave Her A Sharp Hiss.

I No Longer Feel Any Allegiance To These Monsters Called Human Beings, Despise Being One Myself.

Let Them Go, I Tell Myself. Say Good-bye And Forget Them. I Do My Best, Thinking Of Them One By One, Releasing Them Like Birds From The Protective Cages Inside Me, Locking The Doors Against Their Return.

Hope, It Is The Only Thing Stronger Than Fear. A Little Hope Is Effective, A Lot Of Hope Is Dangerous.

This Is No Place For A Girl On Fire.

When I Wake, I Have A Brief, Delicious Feeling Of Happiness That Is Somehow Connected With Peeta. Happiness, Of Course, Is A Complete Absurdity At This Point, Since At The Rate Things Are Going, I'll Be Dead In A Day. And That's The Best-case Scenario, If I'm Able To Eliminate The Rest Of The Field, Including Myself, And Get Peeta Crowned As The Winner Of The Quarter Quell. Still, The Sensation's So Unexpected And Sweet I Cling To It, If Only For A Few Moments. Before The Gritty Sand, The Hot Sun, And My Itching Skin Demand A Return To Reality.

Something Flickers Across His Bloodshot Eyes. Pain.

Finally, Peeta Turns To Pollux. "well, Then You Just Became Our Most Valuable Asset." Castor Laughs And Pollux Manages A Smile. We're Halfway Down The First Tunnel When I Realize What Was So Remarkable About That Exchange. Peeta Sounded Like His Old Self, The One Who Could Always Think Of The Right Thing To Say When Nobody Else Could... I Glance Back At Him As He Trudges Along Under His Guards, Gale And Jackson, His Eyes Fixed On The Ground, His Shoulders Hunched Forward. So Dispirited. But For A Moment, He Was Really Here.

I Notice Her Blouse Has Pulled Out Of Her Skirt In The Back Again And Force Myself To Stay Calm. "tuck Your Tail In, Little Duck," I Say, Smoothing The Blouse Back In Place. Prim Giggles And Give Me A Small "quack." "quack Yourself," I Say With A Light Laugh. The Kind Only Prim Can Draw Out Of Me.

And Then It Happens. Up And Down The Row, The Victors Begin To Join Hands. Some Right Away, Like The Morphlings, Or Wiress And Beetee. Others Unsure But Caught Up In The Demands Of Those Around Them, Like Brutus And Enobaria. By The Time The Anthem Plays Its Final Strains, All Twenty-four Of Us Stand In One Unbroken Line In What Must Be The First Public Show Of Unity Among The Districts Since The Dark Days. You Can See The Realization Of This As The Screens Begin To Pop Into Blackness. It's Too Late, Though. In The Confusion They Didn't Cut Us Off In Time. Everyone Has Seen.

I Had To Do That. At Least Once.

I'm Almost There, Almost To The Barricade, When I Thinks She Hears Me. Because For Just A Moment, She Catches Sight Of Me, Her Lips Form My Name. And That's When The Rest Of The Parachutes Go Off.

We're Supposed To Be Making Up This Stuff, Playing At Being In Love, Not Actually Being In Love.

Whenever I Write A Story, I Hope It Appeals To Both Boys And Girls.

Remember, We're Madly In Love, So It's All Right To Kiss Me Anytime You Feel Like It.

Hunger For Love

He Puts The Chain With The Locket Around My Neck, Then Rests His Hand Over The Spot Where Our Baby Would Be. “you’re Going To Make A Great Mother, You Know,” He Says. He Kisses Me One Last Time And Goes Back To Finnick.

Several Sets Of Arms Would Embrace Me. But In The End, The Only Person I Truly Want To Comfort Me Is Haymitch, Because He Loves Peeta, Too. I Reach Out For Him And Say Something Like His Name And He's There, Holding Me And Patting My Back. "it's Okay. It'll Be Okay, Sweetheart." He Sits Me On A Length Of Broken Marble Pillar And Keeps An Arm Around Me While I Sob.

Ally." Peeta Says The Words Slowly, Tasting It. "friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I'll Add It To The List Of Words I Use To Try To Figure You Out. The Problem Is, I Can't Tell What's Real Anymore, And What's Made Up.

Katniss, I Don't Think President Snow Will Kill Peeta. If He Does, He Won't Have Any Way To Hurt You." "so, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. "whatever It Takes To Break You.

For The Last Year His Grandma Had Been Slipping In And Out Of Reality. One Minute She Was As Clear As A Bell And The Next She Was Calling Him Simon. Who Was Simon? He Had No Idea.

He Tilts His Forehead Down To Rest Against Mine And Pulls Me Closer. His Skin, His Whole Being Radiates Heat From Being So Near The Fire, And I Close My Eyes, Soaking In His Warmth. I Breathe In The Smell Of Snow-dampened Leather And Smoke And Apples, The Smell Of All Those Wintry Days We Shared Before The Games. I Don't Try To Move Away. Why Should I Anyway? His Voice Drops To A Whisper. "i Love You." That's Why.

I Mourn My Old Life Here. We Barely Scraped By, But I Knew Where I Fit In, I Knew What My Place Was In The Tightly Interwoven Fabric That Was Our Life. I Wish I Could Go Back To It Because, In Retrospect, It Seems So Secure Compared To Now, When I Am So Rich And Famous And So Hated By The Authorities In The Capitol.

Allow Me To Translate, Twitchtip Said, Not Even Bothering To Move. "she Said If You Don't Stop Your Incessant Babble, That Big Rat Sitting In The Boat Next To You Will Rip Your Head Off.

I Realize, For The First Time, How Very Lonely I've Been In The Arena. How Comforting The Presence Of Another Human Being Can Be.

What Do You Think?" I Whisper To Peeta. "about The Fire?" "i'll Rip Off Your Cape If You'll Rip Off Mine," He Says Through Gritted Teeth.

Actually, Katniss Isn’t Complaining Because She Has No Intention Of Staying With The “star Squad,” But She Recognizes The Necessity Of Getting To The Capitol Before Carrying Out Any Plan.

I Press My Ear Against His Chest, To The Spot Where I Always Rest My Head, Where I Know I Will Hear The Strong And Steady Beat Of His Heart. Instead, I Find Silence.

Gale And I Were Thrown Together By A Mutual Need To Survive. Peeta And I Know The Other's Survival Means Our Own Death. How Do You Side Step That?

Who Says I Can't Handle It? I Can Handle It," Said Gregor Obviously Not Handling It.

The Numbness Of His Loss Had Passed, And The Pain Would Hit Me Out Of Nowhere, Doubling Me Over, Racking My Body With Sobs. Where Are You? I Would Cry Out In My Mind. Where Have You Gone? Of Course, There Was Never Any Answer.

Because It Doesn't Matter Anymore, And Because I'm So Desperately Lonely I Can't Stand It.

No One Will Forget Me. Not My Look, Not My Name. Katniss. The Girl Who Was On Fire.

Cinna Just Smiles. 'had A Damp Morning?' 'you Could Wring Me Out,' I Reply. Cinna Puts His Arm Around My Shoulder And Leads Me Into Lunch. ' Don't Worry, I Always Channel My Emotions Into My Work. That Way I Don't Hurt Anyone But Myself.

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