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And There I Am, Blushing And Confused, Made Beautiful By Cinna’s Hands, Desirable By Peeta’s Confession, Tragic By Circumstance, And By All Accounts, Unforgettable.

-Suzanne Collins

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And There I Am,

Suzanne Collins

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And There I Am, Blushing And Confused, Made Beautiful By Cinna’s Hands, Desirable By Peeta’s Confession, Tragic By Circumstance, And By All Accounts, Unforgettable.

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It's There. The White Rose Among The Dried Flowers In The Vase. Shriveled And Fragile, But Holding On To That Unnatural Perfection Cultivated In Snows Greenhouse. I Grab The Vase, Stumble Down To The Kitchen, And Throw Its Contents Into The Embers. As The Flowers Flare Up, A Burst Of Blue Flame Envelops The Rose And Devours It. Fire Beats Roses Again.

But Just Before They Cut Back To The Main Newscaster, I See The Unmistakable Flash Of That Same Mockingjay's Wing. The Reporter Has Simply Been Incorporated Into The Old Footage. She's Not In District 13 At All. Which Begs The Question, What Is?

"if I Could Grow Wings, I Could Fly. Only People Can't Grow Wings," He Say's. "real Or Not Real?" "real," I Say. "but People Don't Need Wings To Survive." "mockingjays Do."

Positioned On My Dresser, That White-as-snow Rose Is A Personal Message To Me. It Speaks Of Unfinished Business. It Whispers, I Can Find You. I Can Reach You. Perhaps I Am Watching You Now.

Unfinished Business

Why? Do You Find This" - He Strikes A Ridiculously Provocative Pose - "distracting?

Oh, That I Do Know...katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

Mockingjay Book

Okay, Maybe I Don't Go Around Loving Everybody I Meet, Maybe My Smiles Are Hard To Come By, But I Do Care For Some People.

Great. Now I Have To Go Back And Tell Haymitch I Want An Eighty-year-old And Nuts And Volts For My Allies. He'll Love That.

Katniss. I Remember About The Bread.

If I'm Going To Die, I Want To Still Be Me

The Morphlings From District 6 Are In The Camouflage Station, Painting Each Other's Faces With Bright Pink Swirls.

For There To Be Betrayal, There Would Have To Have Been Trust First.

I Do Think You're Mad And I'll Still Go With You.

She Genuinely Likes People. All People, Not Just A Select Few She's Spent Years Making Up Her Mind About.

The Berries. I Realize The Answer To Who I Am Lies In That Handful Of Poisonous Fruit. If I Held Them Out To Save Peeta Because I Knew I Would Be Shunned If I Came Back Without Him, Then I Am Despicable. If I Held Them Out Because I Loved Him, I Am Still Self-centered, Although Forgivable. But If I Held Them Out To Defy The Capitol, I Am Someone Of Worth. The Trouble Is, I Don't Know Exactly What Was Going On Inside Me At That Moment.

Oh, The Fun We Two Have Together.

So That's Who Finnick Loves, I Think. Not His String Of Fancy Lovers In The Capitol. But A Poor, Mad Girl Back Home.

Listen Up. You're In Trouble. Word Is The Capitol's Furious About You Showing Them Up In The Arena. The One Thing They Can't Stand Is Being Laughed At And They're The Joke Of Panem

Remember, We're Madly In Love, So It's All Right To Kiss Me Anytime You Feel Like It.

Hunger For Love

I Think....you Still Have No Idea. The Effect You Can Have.

Hey, Effie, Watch This!" Says Peeta. He Tosses His Fork Over His Shoulder And Literally Licks His Plate Clean Whit His Tongue Making Loud, Satisfied Sounds. Then He Blows A Kiss Out To Her In General And Calls, "we Miss You, Effie!

Peeta Bakes. I Hunt. Haymitch Drinks Until The Liquor Runs Out.

Peeta And I Had Adjoining Cells In The Capitol. We're Very Familiar With Each Other's Screams.

I Clench His Hands To The Point Of Pain. "stay With Me." His Pupils Contract To Pinpoints, Dialate Again Rapidly, And Then Return To Something Resembling Normalcy. "always," He Murmurs.

And It’s All My Fault, Gale. Because Of What I Did In The Arena. If I Had Just Killed Myself With Those Berries, None Of This Would’ve Happened. Peeta Could Have Come Home And Lived, And Everyone Else Would Have Been Safe, Too.” “safe To Do What?” He Says In A Gentler Tone. “starve? Work Like Slaves? Send Their Kids To The Reaping? You Haven’t Hurt People – You’ve Given Them An Opportunity. They Just Have To Be Brave Enough To Take It.

The Evil Thing Is Inside, Not Out.

Sometimes When Things Are Particularly Bad, My Brain Will Give Me A Happy Dream.

But There's Food If You Know How To Find It. My Father Knew And He Taught Me Some Before He Was Blown To Bits In A Mine Explosion. There Was Nothing Even To Bury. I Was Eleven Then. Five Years Later, I Still Wake Up Screaming For Him To Run.

And, My God, The Actors. The Cast, Led By The Extraordinary Jennifer Lawrence, Is Absolutely Wonderful Across The Board. It’s Such A Pleasure To See How They’ve Embodied The Characters And Brought Them To Life.

Then Something Unexpected Happens. At Least, I Don't Expect It Because I Don't Think Of District 12 As A Place That Cares About Me. But A Shift Has Occurred Since I Stepped Up To Take Prim's Place, And Now It Seems I Have Become Someone Precious. At First One, Then Another, Then Almost Every Member Of The Crowd Touches The Three Middle Fingers Of Their Left Hand To Their Lips And Holds It Out To Me. It Is An Old And Rarely Used Gesture Of Our District, Occasionally Seen At Funerals. It Means Thanks, It Means Admiration, It Means Good-bye To Someone You Love.

Mostly We Just Add To The Piles Of Rainbow Glass That's Been Blown Off The Exteriors Of The Cany-colored Buildings.

Ll I Can Think About, Every Day, Every Waking Minute Since They Drew Prim's Name At The Reaping, Is How Afraid I Am.

The Awful Thing Is That If I Can Forget They're People, It Will Be No Different At All

Fine. I'll Train. But I'm Going To The Stinking Capitol If I Have To Kill A Crew And Fly There Myself." Says Johanna. "probably Best Not To Bring That Up In Training," I Say. "but It's Nice To Know I'll Have A Ride.

Katniss Everdeen, The Girl Who Was On Fire, You Have Provided A Spark That, Left Unattended, May Grow To An Inferno That Destroys Panem," He Says.

What About Gale?" "he's Not A Bad Kisser Either," I Say Shortly. "and It Was Okay With Both Of Us? You Kissing The Other?" He Asks. "no. It Wasn't Okay With Either Of You. But I Wasn't Asking Your Permission," I Tell Him. Peeta Laughs Again, Coldly, Dismissively. "well, You're A Piece Of Work, Aren't You?

We Hand The Meat Over To Greasy Sae In The Kitchen. She Likes District 13 Well Enough, Even Though She Thinks The Cooks Are Somewhat Lacking In Imagination. But A Woman Who Came Up With A Palatable Wild Dog And Rhubarb Stew Is Bound To Feel As If Her Hands Are Tied Here.

It's Funny, Because Even Though They're Rattling On About The Games, It's All About Where They Were Or What They Were Doing Or How They Felt When A Specific Event Occurred. . . . Everything Is About Them, Not The Dying Boys And Girls In The Arena

Most Of The Peacekeepers Turn A Blind Eye To The Few Of Us Who Hunt Because They're As Hungry As We Are For Fresh Meat As Anyone. In Fact, They're Among Our Best Customers.

I’m Stopped By The Sight Of Finnick Kissing Peeta.

Remember, Heads High. Smiles. They're Going To Love You!

When I Wake, I Have A Brief, Delicious Feeling Of Happiness That Is Somehow Connected With Peeta. Happiness, Of Course, Is A Complete Absurdity At This Point, Since At The Rate Things Are Going, I'll Be Dead In A Day. And That's The Best-case Scenario, If I'm Able To Eliminate The Rest Of The Field, Including Myself, And Get Peeta Crowned As The Winner Of The Quarter Quell. Still, The Sensation's So Unexpected And Sweet I Cling To It, If Only For A Few Moments. Before The Gritty Sand, The Hot Sun, And My Itching Skin Demand A Return To Reality.

There's Always Hand-to-hand Combat. All You Need Is To Come Up With A Knife, And You'll At Least Stand A Chance. If I Get Jumped, I'm Dead!" I Can Hear My Voice Rising In Anger. "but You Won't! You'll Be Living Up In Some Tree Eating Raw Squirrels And Picking Off People With Arrows.

Telling A Story In A Futuristic World Gives You This Freedom To Explore Things That Bother You In Contemporary Times.

This Is The First Kiss That We're Both Fully Aware Of. Neither Of Us Hobbled By Sickness Or Pain Or Simply Unconscious. Our Lips Neither Burning With Fever Or Icy Cold. This Is The First Kiss Where I Actually Feel Stirring Inside My Chest. Warm And Curious. This Is The First Kiss That Makes Me Want Another.

You Know, I Think This Is The First Time We've Ever Done Anything Normal Together.

What Have The Nibblers Ever Done For You?" The Breeze Ruffled Her Hair, Pushing It Back From Her Face, Giving Him A Clear Shot Of Her Eyes. They Were Asking For An Answer. Needing To Know If She Could Count On Him. "they Saved Your Life," He Said. And For Just A Moment, Luxa's Face Softened And She Smiled.

Well, Don't Expect Us To Be Too Impressed. We Just Saw Finnick Odair In His Underwear.

I'll Tell Them How I Survive It. I'll Tell Them That On Bad Mornings, It Feels Impossible To Take Pleasure In Anything Because I'm Afraid It Could Be Taken Away. That's When I Make A List In My Head Of Every Act Of Goodness I've Seen Someone Do. It's Like A Game. Repetitive. Even A Little Tedious After More Than Twenty Years. But There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

I Wish I Could Freeze This Moment, Right Here, Right Now And Live In It Forever.

They're Betting On How Long I'll Live!' I Burst Out. 'they're Not My Friends!

Nerrissa? You Believe Her? Well, You At Least Have To Credit Her With A Certain Instability! Remember When She Told You That I Was Going To Take Over The Fount With And Army Of Lobsters?" Said Ripred. You Did Try To Take Over The Fount With An Army Of Lobsters." Said Vikus. Yes, Yes, But It Was Years Before She Was Born. My Point Is, She Flip-flops In And Out Of Time Like A Fish In Shallow Waters." Answered Ripred.

Something Inside Me Shuts Down And I'm Too Numb To Feel Anything. It's Like Watching Complete Strangers In Another Hunger Games. But I Do Notice They Omit The Part Where I Covered Her In Flowers. Right. Because Even That Smacks Of Rebellion.

"although Who Knows? Maybe This Will Be It, Katniss." "what?" I Ask. "the Time It Sticks. Maybe We Are Witnessing The Evolution Of The Human Race. Think About That." And Then He Asks Me If I'd Like To Perform On A New Singing Program He's Launching In A Few Weeks. Something Upbeat Would Be Good. He'll Send The Crew To My House.

Peeta Looks Me Right In The Eye And Gives My Hand What I Think Is Meant To Be A Reassuring Squeeze. Maybe It's Just A Nervous Spasm.

The Rat Turned His Glowing Eyes On Him, And Gregor Was Shocked By What He Saw There. The Intelligence, The Deadliness, And, Most Surprisingly, The Pain. This Rat Was Not Like Fangor And Shed. He Was Much More Complicated And Much More Dangerous. For The First Time In The Underland, Gregor Felt Completely Out Of His League. If He Fought This Rat, He Wouldn't Stand A Change. He Would Lose. He Would Be Dead.

I Knew You'd Kiss Me." "how?" I Say. Because I Didn't Know Myself. "because I Am In Pain," He Say's. "that's The Only Way I Get Your Attention.

As I Descend The Stairs, I Can’t Help Brushing My Fingers Along The Unblemished White Marble Walls. So Cold And Beautiful. Even In The Capitol, There’s Nothing To Match The Magnificence Of This Old Building. But There Is No Give To The Surface - Only My Flesh Yields, My Warmth Taken. Stone Conquers People Every Time.

Then I Dive Into My Tent Before I Do Something Stupid Like Cry.

Finnick!" Something Between A Shriek And A Cry Of Joy. A Lovely If Somewhat Bedraggled Young Woman--dark Tangled Hair, Sea Green Eyes--runs Toward Us In Nothing But A Sheet. "finnick!" And Suddenly, It's As If There's No One In The World But These Two, Crashing Through Space To Reach Each Other. They Collide, Enfold, Lose Their Balance, And Slam Against A Wall, Where They Stay. Clinging Into One Being. Indivisible. A Pang Of Jealousy Hits Me. Not For Either Finnick Or Annie But For Their Certainty. No One Seeing Them Could Doubt Their Love.

What Happens When We Get Back? I Don't Know. I Guess We Try And Forget. I Don't Want To Forget.

I'm Not A Very Fancy Person. I've Been A Writer A Long Time, And Right Now 'the Hunger Games' Is Getting A Lot Of Focus. It'll Pass. The Focus Will Be On Something Else. It'll Shift. It Always Does. And That Seems Just Fine.

I Trusted Him. I Put What Was Precious In Haymitch's Hands. & He Has Betrayed Me

The More You Can Distract Yourself, The Better.

Just Give Him The Medicine!" I Scream At Her. "give It To Him! Who Are You, Anyway, To Decide How Much Pain He Can Stand!

Finnick?" I Say, "maybe Some Pants?" He Looks Down At His Legs As If Noticing His Outfit For The First Time. Then He Whips Off His Hospital Gown Leaving Him In Just His Underwear. "why? Do You Find This" -- He Strikes A Ridiculously Provocative Pose -- "distracting?" I Laugh. Boggs Looks Embarrassed And Finnick Looks More Like The Guy I Met At The Quarter Quell

I Always Channel My Emotions Into My Work. That Way, I Don't Hurt Anyone But Myself.

All The Times These Arms Were My Only Refuge From The World. Perhaps Not Fully Appreciated Then, But So Sweet In My Memory, And Now Gone Forever.

Katniss....he's Still Trying To Keep You Alive.

They Hadn’t Counted On The Highly Controlled Jabberjay Having The Brains To Adapt To The Wild, To Pass On Its Genetic Code, To Thrive In A New Form. They Hadn’t Anticipated Its Will To Live.

Sick And Disoriented, I'm Able To Form Only One Thought: Peeta Mellark Just Saved My Life.

And Don't You Let Your Guard Down For A Second Because You Think Anything's Inevitable.

Caesar Flickerman Asks If The President Has A Date In Mind. "oh, Before We Set A Date, We Better Clear It With Katniss's Mother," Says The President. The Audience Gives A Big Laugh And The President Puts His Arm Around Me. "maybe If The Whole Country Puts Its Mind To It, We Can Get You Married Before You're Thirty." "you'll Probably Have To Pass A New Law," I Say With A Giggle. "if That's What It Takes," Says The President With Conspiratorial Good Humor. Oh, The Fun We Two Have Together.

Cato Kneels Beside Clove, Spear In Hand, Begging Her To Stay With Him. In A Moment, He Will Realize It's Futile, She Can't Be Saved.

Your Only Defense Can Be You Were So Madly In Love You Weren't Responsible For Your Actions.

The Idea Of Being Strong For Someone Else Having Never Entered Their Heads, I Find Myself In The Position Of Having To Console Them. Since I'm The Person Going In To Be Slaughtered, This Is Somewhat Annoying.

At The Moment, The Choice Would Be Simple. I Can Survive Just Fine Without Either Of Them.

Haymich Finally Drops The Good-natured Act. "you Know Who Else, Katniss. You Know Who Stepped Up First." Of Course I Do. Gale.

Not Daring To Flee Since My General Location Has Just Been Broadcast To Any Killer Who Cares. I Mean, I Know It's Cold Out Here And Not Everybody Has A Sleeping Bag.

We Fight, We Dare, We End Our Hunger For Justice.

Remember That Even In War There Is A Time For Restraint. A Time To Hold Back Your Sword.

Because...because...she Came Here With Me.

Hunger For Love

She's Not Here," I Tell Him. Buttercup Hisses Again. "she's Not Here. You Can Hiss All You Like. You Won't Find Prim." At Her Name, He Perks Up. Raises His Flattened Ears. Begins To Meow Hopefully. "get Out!" He Dodges The Pillow I Throw At Him. "go Away! There's Nothing Left For You Here!" I Start To Shake, Furious With Him. "she's Not Coming Back! She's Never Ever Coming Back Here Again!" I Grab Another Pillow And Get To My Feet To Improve My Aim. Out Of Nowhere, The Tears Begin To Pour Down My Cheeks. "she's Dead, You Stupid Cat. She's Dead.

But Mockingjays Were Never A Weapon," Said Madge. "they’re Just Songbirds. Right?" "yeah, I Guess So,” I Said, But It’s Not True. A Mockingbird Is Just A Songbird. A Mockingjay Is A Creature The Capitol Never Intended To Exist. They Hadn’t Counted On The Highly Controlled Jabberjay Having The Brains To Adapt To The Wild, To Thrive In A New Form. They Hadn’t Anticipated Its Will To Live.

I Volunteer!" I Gasp. "i Volunteer As Tribute!

"what's Going On Down There, Katniss? Have They All Joined Hands? Taken A Vow Of Nonviolence? Tossed The Weapons In The Sea In Defiance Of The Capitol?" Finnick Asks. "no," I Say. "no," Finnick Repeats. "because Whatever Happened In The Past Is In The Past. And No One In This Arena Was A Victor By Chance." He Eyes Peeta For A Moment. "except Maybe Peeta."

Fire Beats Roses Again.

And Then, When He’s Been Underwater So Long I Feel Certain He’s Drowned, His Head Pops Up Right Next To Me And I Start. “don’t Do That,” I Say. “what? Come Up Or Stay Under?” He Says. “either. Neither. Whatever

My Mouth Has Gone Dry As Sawdust. I Desperately Find Cinna In The Crowd And Lock Eyes With Him. I Imagine The Words Coming From His Lips. 'what's Impressed You Most Since You Arrived Here?' I Rack My Brain For Something That Made Me Happy Here. Be Honest, I Think. Be Honest.

The Pain Over My Heart Returns, And From It I Imagine Tiny Fissures Spreading Out Into My Body. Through My Torso, Down My Arms And Legs, Over My Face, Leaving It Crisscrossed With Cracks. One Good Jolt...and I Could Shatter Into Strange Razor-sharp Shards.

Don't You See, Katniss, This Will Decide Things. One Way Or The Other. By The End Of The Day, They'll Ether Be Dead Or With Us. It's...it's More Than We Could Hope For! Well, That's A Sunny View Of Our Situation.

The End Of The Day

I Start To Crack At Four Hundred To One.

Whatever It Takes To Break You.

Whatever It Takes

We Could Do It, You Know." "what?" "leave The District. Run Off. Live In The Woods. You And I, We Could Make It.

Capitol In Hunger Games

Katniss?" Peeta Says. I Meet His Eyes, Knowing My Face Must Be Some Shade Of Green. He Mouths The Words. "how About That Kiss?

You Know, You're Kind Of Squeamish For Such A Lethal Person

Knowing It And Seeing It Are Two Different Things.

Remembering From Last Year How Haymitch's Gifts Are Often Timed To Send A Message, I Make A Note To Myself. Be Friends With Finnick. You'll Get Food.

A Faint Light Burned In The Pit Revealing A Furry Creature Hunched Over A Stone Slab, Fiddling With Something. At First Gregor Raised A Warning Hand. He Thought It Was A Rat. Then The Creature Lifted His Head And Gregor Recognized What Was Left Of His Dad.

Don't Want That, Do They?” She Throws Back Her Head And Shouts, “whole Country In Rebellion? Wouldn't Want Anything Like That!

He’s Dozed Off Again, But I Kiss Him Awake, Which Seems To Startle Him. Then He Smiles As If He’d Be Happy To Lie There Gazing At Me Forever.

But Gale Is Not One To Keep Secrets From Me. "katniss, There Is No District Twelve."

I’m In A Shallow Hole, Not Filled With The Humming Orange Bubbles Of My Hallucination But With Old, Dead Leaves.

You're Punishing Him Over And Over For Things That Are Out Of His Control.

A Hysterical Young Woman With Flowing Brown Hair Is Also Called From 4, But She's Quickly Replaced By A Volunteer, An Eighty-year-old Woman Who Needs A Cane To Walk To The Stage.

No More Fear Of Hunger. A New Kind Of Freedom. But What Then ... What? What Would My Life Be Like On A Daily Basis? Most Of It Has Been Consumed With The Acquisition Of Food. Take That Away And I'm Not Really Sure Who I Am, What My Identity Is. The Idea Scares Me Some.

Something Flickers Across His Bloodshot Eyes. Pain.

Today I Might Lose Both Of Them. I Try To Imagine A World Where Both Gale's And Peeta's Voices Have Ceased. Hands Stilled. Eyes Unblinking. I'm Standing Over Their Bodies, Having A Last Look, Leaving The Room Where They Lie. But When I Open The Door To Step Out Into The World, There's Only A Tremendous Void. A Pale Grey Nothingness That Is All My Future Holds.

Once I'm On My Feet I Realize Escape Might Not Be So Simple, Panic Begins To Set In. I Can't Stay Here. Flight Is Essential But I Can't Let My Fear Show. Winning Means Fame And Fortune, Losing Mean Certain Death, The Hunger Games Have Begun . . .

I Drink In His Wholeness, The Soudness Of His Body And Mind. It Runs Through Me Like The Morphling They Give Me In The Hospital, Dulling The Pain Of The Last Weeks.

There's Plenty Of Blame To Go Around.

If You'd Been Taken By The Capital And Hijacked And Then Tried To Kill Peeta, Is This The Way He Would Be Treating You?

Deep In The Meadow, Hidden Far Away, A Cloak Of Leaves, A Moonbeam Ray, Forget Your Woes And Let Your Troubles Lay, And When Again It's Morning, They'll Wash Away. Here It's Safe, Here It's Warm, Here The Daisies Guard You From Every Harm, Here Your Dreams Are Sweet And Tomorrow Brings Them True, Here Is The Place Where I Love You.

He Frosted Under Heavy Guard.

Then I Know Prim Is Right, That Snow Cannot Afford To Waste Peeta's Life, Especially Now, While The Mockingjay Causes So Much Havoc. He's Killed Cinna Already. Destroyed My Home. My Family, Gale, And Even Haymitch Are Out Of His Reach. Peeta's All He Has Left. "so, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sound About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks."whatever It Takes To Break You.

You've Got To Go Through It To Get To The End Of It.

The Way She Kissed You In The Quarter Quell…well She Never Kissed Me Like That…i Should Have Volunteered To Take Your Place In The First Games. Protected Her Then…i Guess It’s Katniss’ Problem. Who To Choose…katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can’t Survive Without.

You Can’t Miss Your Schedule. Every Morning, You’re Supposed To Stick Your Right Arm In This Contraption In The Wall. It Tattoos The Smooth Inside Of Your Forearm With Your Schedule For The Day In A Sickly Purple Ink. 7:00—breakfast. 7:30—kitchen Duties. 8:30—education Center, Room 17. And So On. The Ink Is Indelible Until 22:00—bathing

I Realize, For The First Time, How Very Lonely I've Been In The Arena. How Comforting The Presence Of Another Human Being Can Be.

My Spirit. This Is A New Thought. I'm Not Sure Exactly What It Means, But It Suggests I'm A Fighter. In A Sort Of Brave Way. It's Not As If I'm Never Friendly. Okay, Maybe I Don't Go Around Loving Everybody I Meet, Maybe My Smiles Are Hard To Come By, But I Do Care For Some People.

Instead, I Watch Myself Get Shot On Television.

Scores Only Matter If They’re Very Good, No One Pays Much Attention To The Bad Or Mediocre Ones.

Haymitch In My Head Full-time. Horrifying

I Stand There, Feeling Broken And Small, Thousands Of Eyes Trained On Me.

I Drag Myself Out Of Nightmares Each Morning And Find There's No Relief In Waking.

Even In War There Should Be Lines You Didn't Cross.

Her Name's Prim. She's Just Twelve. And I Love Her More Than Anything.

The Hatred I Feel For Him, For The Phantom Girl, For Everything, Is So Real And Immediate It Chokes Me. Gale Is Mine. I Am His. Anything Else Is Unthinkable. Why Did It Take Him Being Whipped Within An Inch Of His Life To See It?

His Dad Said Even The Cavemen Had Geniuses Among Them. Somebody Had Thought Up The Wheel.

By The Way, I Know About The Kiss." Then The Door Clicks Shut Behind Him.

So I Only Say, "so What Should We Do With Our Last Few Days?" "i Just Want To Spend Every Possible Minute Of The Rest Of My Life With You," Peeta Replies.

And Then, If You Make It To Bedtime, You Feel The Joy Of Cheating Death Out Of One More Day," She Said. "do You See?

But After Several Hours, I Go Anyway, Walking In Silent Sock Feet, So As Not To Awaken The Ghosts.

Sometimes, When I Clean A Kill, I Feed Buttercup The Entrails. He Has Stopped Hissing At Me. Entrails. No Hissing. This Is The Closest We Will Ever Come To Love.

They're Already Taking My Future! They Can't Have The Things That Mattered To Me In The Past!

Capitol In Hunger Games

Hope Is The Only Thing Stronger Than Fear.

And Then It Happens. Up And Down The Row, The Victors Begin To Join Hands. Some Right Away, Like The Morphlings, Or Wiress And Beetee. Others Unsure But Caught Up In The Demands Of Those Around Them, Like Brutus And Enobaria. By The Time The Anthem Plays Its Final Strains, All Twenty-four Of Us Stand In One Unbroken Line In What Must Be The First Public Show Of Unity Among The Districts Since The Dark Days. You Can See The Realization Of This As The Screens Begin To Pop Into Blackness. It's Too Late, Though. In The Confusion They Didn't Cut Us Off In Time. Everyone Has Seen.

I Mourn My Old Life Here. We Barely Scraped By, But I Knew Where I Fit In, I Knew What My Place Was In The Tightly Interwoven Fabric That Was Our Life. I Wish I Could Go Back To It Because, In Retrospect, It Seems So Secure Compared To Now, When I Am So Rich And Famous And So Hated By The Authorities In The Capitol.

Technically, I Am Unarmed. But No One Should Ever Underestimate The Harm That Fingernails Can Do. Especially If The Target Is Unprepared.

My Name Is Katniss Everdeen. My Home Is District Twelve. Peeta Was Taken Prisoner. He Is Thought To Be Dead. Most Likely Is Dead. It Would Probably Be Best If He Were Dead... - Katniss Everdeens

No One Knows What To Do With You, Girlie.

You Can Swim, Too." He Says. "where Did You Learn That In District Twelve?" "we Have A Very Big Bathtub.

If He Goes And Dies On Me Now, I Know I'll Go Completely Insane.

It's A Long Shot, It's Suicide Maybe, But I Do The Only Thing I Can Think Of. I Lean In And Kiss Peeta Full On The Mouth. His Whole Body Starts Shuddering, But I Keep My Lips Pressed To His Until I Have To Come Up For Air. My Hands Slide Up His Wrists To Clasp His. "don't Let Him Take You From Me." Peeta's Panting Hard As He Fights The Nightmares Raging His Head. "no. I Don't Want To. . ." I Clench His Hands To The Point Of Pain. "stay With Me." His Pupils Contract To Pinpoints, Dilate Again Rapidly, And Then Return To Something Resembling Normalcy. "always," He Murmurs.

Yeah, About That,” Says Peeta, Entwining His Fingers In Mine. “don’t Try Something Like That Again.” “or What?” I Ask. “or . . . Or . . .” He Can’t Think Of Anything Good. “just Give Me A Minute.

Oh, Well. At Least My Blood Is Flowing.

Slowly, With Many Lost Days, I Come Back To Life.

And We Must Fight Back! President Snow Says He's Sending Us A Message? Well, I Have One For Him. You Can Torture Us And Bomb Us And Burn Our Districts To The Ground, But Do You See That? Fire Is Catching! And If We Burn, You Burn With Us!

Katniss, There Is No District Twelve.

Don't. Don't Let's Pretend When There's No One Around.

It Crosses My Mind That Cinna's Calm And Normal Demeanor Masks A Complete Madman.

I'm Almost There, Almost To The Barricade, When I Thinks She Hears Me. Because For Just A Moment, She Catches Sight Of Me, Her Lips Form My Name. And That's When The Rest Of The Parachutes Go Off.

The Problem Is, I Can’t Tell What’s Real Anymore, And What’s Made Up.

Panem Et Circenses" Translates Into 'bread And Circuses.' The Writer Was Saying That In Return For Full Bellies And Entertainment, His People Had Given Up Their Political Responsibilities And Therefore Their Power.

Yes, I’m A Mouse. Squeak, Squeak. Now Shoo-shoo Back To Your Little Bug Friends,” Said Rirped, Picking Up A Hunk Of Dried Beef. He Tore A Off A Piece With His Teeth And Noticed Boots Hadn’t Moved. He Pulled Back His Lips To Reveal A Row Of Jagged Teeth And Gave Her A Sharp Hiss.

I Reach For Prim In The Twilight, Clamp My Hand On Her Leg And Pull Myself Over To Her. Her Voice Remains Steady As She Croons To Buttercup. "it's All Right, Baby, It's All Right. We'll Be Ok Down There." My Mother Wraps Her Arms Around Us. I Allow Myself To Feel Young For A Moment And Rest My Head On Her Shoulder.

One Slip. One Slip In Thousands. The Odds Had Been Entirely In Her Favor. But It Hadn't Mattered.

The Question Is, What Are You Going To Do?" It Turns Out The Question That's Been Eating Away At Me Has Only Ever Had One Possible Answer. But It Took Peeta's Ploy For Me To Recognize It. What Am I Going To Do? I Take A Deep Breath. My Arms Rise Slightly - As If Recalling The Black-and-white Wings Cinna Gave Me - Then Come To Rest At My Sides. "i'm Going To Be The Mockingjay.

Black And White

There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

Well You Are A Piece Of Work Aren't You?

Sorry Excuses For Hunters And Friends. Both Of Us.

Hey. I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got Home," I Say. "katniss, I Live Three Houses Away From You," He Says.

Five Years Later I Still Wake Up Screaming For Him To Run

Aim Higher In Case You Fall Short.

Maybe Everyone Is Just Trying To Protect Me By Lying To Me. I Don't Care. I'm Sick Of People Lying To Me For My Own Good.

Then It’s Just Venia, Whose Skin Is So Pale Her Tattoos Appear To Be Leaping Off It. Almost Rigid With Determination, She Does My Hair And Nails And Makeup, Fingers Flying Swiftly To Compensate For Her Absent Teammates. The Whole Time, She Avoids My Gaze. It’s Only When Cinna Shows Up To Approve Me And Dismiss Her That She Takes My Hands, Looks Me Straight In The Eye, And Says, “we Would All Like You To Know What A…privilege It Has Been To Make You Look Your Best.” Then She Hastens From The Room.

As We Ride The Elevator Gale Finally Says “you're Still Angry.” “and You're Still Not Sorry,” I Reply. "i Will Stand By What I Said. Do You Want Me To Lie About It?” He Asks. “no, I Want You To Rethink It And Come Up With The Right Opinion,” I Tell Him.

I'm Not Prepared For Rue's Family. Her Parents, Whose Faces Are Still Fresh With Sorrow. Her Fiver Younger Siblings, Who Resemble Her So Closely. The Slight Builds, The Luminous Brown Eyes. They Form A Flock Of Small Dark Birds.

Then, In My Most Careful Handwriting, Come All The Details It Would Be A Crime To Forget. Lady Licking Prim's Cheek. My Father's Laugh. Peeta's Father With The Cookies. The Colour Of Finnick's Eyes. What Cinna Could Do With A Length Of Silk. Boggs Reprogramming The Holo. Rue Poised On Her Toes, Arms Slightly Extended, Like A Bird About To Take Flight. On And On. We Seal The Pages With Salt Water And Promises To Live Well To Make Their Death Count.

To The Everlasting Credit Of The People Of District 12, Not One Person Claps. Not Even The Ones Holding Betting Slips, The Ones Who Are Usually Beyond Caring. Possibly Because They Know Me From The Hob, Or Knew My Father, Or Have Encountered Prim, Who No One Could Help Loving. So Instead Of Acknowledging Applause, I Stand There Unmoving While They Take Part In The Boldest Form Of Dissent They Can Manage. Silence. Which Says We Do Not Agree. We Do Not Condone. All Of This Is Wrong.

There Were Two Avoxes With Me In Prison. Darius And Lavinia, But The Guards Mostly Called Them The Redheads. They'd Been Our Servants In The Training Center, So They Arrested Them, Too. I Watched Them Being Tortured To Death. She Was Lucky. They Used Too Much Voltage And Her Heart Stopped Right Off. It Took Days To Finish Him Off. Beating, Cutting Off Parts. They Kept Asking Him Questions, But He Couldn't Speak, He Just Made These Horrible Animals Sounds. They Didn't Want Information, You Know? They Wanted Me To See It.

Director Gary Ross Has Created An Adaptation That Is Faithful In Both Narrative And Theme, But He's Also Brought A Rich And Powerful Vision Of Panem, Its Brutality And Excesses, To The Film As Well. His World Building's Fantastic, Whether It Be The Seam Or The Capitol.

I Can't Argue That Finnick Isn't One Of The Most Stunning, Sensuous People On The Planet. But I Can Honestly Say He's Never Been Attractive To Me. Maybe He's Too Pretty, Or Maybe He's Too Easy To Get, Or Maybe It's Really That He'd Just Be Too Easy To Lose.

So I Learned To Hold My Tongue And To Turn My Features Into An Indifferent Mask So That No One Could Ever Read My Thoughts.

At Once, It’s Clear I Cannot Gush. We Try Me Playing Cocky, But I Just Don’t Have The Arrogance. Apparently, I’m Too “vulnerable” For Ferocity. I’m Not Witty. Funny. Sexy. Or Mysterious By The End Of The Session, I Am No One At All.

All I Can Think Of Is The Emaciated Bodies Of Children On Our Kitchen Table As My Mother Prescribes What The Parent's Can't Give. More Food.

This Perplexing, Good Natured Boy Who Can Spin Out Lies So Convincingly To Be Hopelessly In Love With Me ... And I Admit It There Are Moments When He Makes Me Believe It Myself.

Even If Times Got Bad, He Would Never Again Deny Himself The Possibility That The Future Might Be Happy Even If The Present Was Painful. He Would Allow Himself Dreams.

Whatever The Opposite Of Fine Is, That's What I Am.

This Is No Place For A Girl On Fire.

You Would Think After All The Hours I’d Spent With Gale– Watching Him Talk And Laugh And Frown– That I Would Know All There Was To Know About His Lips. But I Hadn’t Imagined How Warm They Would Feel Pressed Against My Own. Or How Those Hands [...] Could Entrap Me… I Vaguely Remember My Fingers, Curled Tightly Closed, Resting On His Chest.

And Once We Reach The City, My Stylist Will Dictate My Look For The Opening Ceremonies Tonight Anyway. I Just Hope I Get One Who Doesn't Think Nudity Is The Last Word In Fashion.

Opening Ceremony

Keep Calm And Have A Sugar Cube

Desperate, Yet No Longer Alone After That Day, Because We'd Found Each Other.

Stupid People Are Dangerous.

My Voice, At First Rough And Breaking On The High Notes, Warms Up Into Something Splendid. A Voice That Would Make The Mockingjays Fall Silent And Then Tumble Over Themselves To Join In.

At Some Point, You Have To Stop Running And Turn Around And Face Whoever Wants You Dead.the Hard Thing Is Finding The Courage To Do It.

A Verbal Promise Behind Closed Doors, Even A Statement Written On Paper-these Could Easily Evaporate . . . .

Because It Doesn't Matter Anymore, And Because I'm So Desperately Lonely I Can't Stand It.

Not Exactly. You See, Portia And I Think That The Coal Miner Thing's Very Overdone. No One Will Remember You In That. And We Both See It Has Our Job To Make District 12 Tributes Unforgettable,' Says Cinna. I'll Be Naked For Sure, I Think. 'so Rather Than Focus On The Coal Mining Itself, We're Going To Focus On The Coal,' Says Cinna. Naked And Covered In Black Dust, I Think. 'and What Do We Do With Coal? We Burn It,' Says Cinna. 'you're Not Afraid Of Fire, Are You, Katniss?' He Sees My Expression And Grins.

But It's Posy, Gale's Five-year-old Sister, Who Helps The Most. She Scoots Along The Bench To Octavia And Touches Her Skin With A Tentative Finger. “you're Green. Are You Sick?” “it's A Fashion Thing, Posy. Like Wearing Lipstick,” I Say. “it's Meant To Be Pretty,” Whispers Octavia, And I Can See The Tears Threatening To Spill Over Her Lashes. Posy Considers This And Says Matter-of-factly, “i Think You'd Be Pretty In Any Color.

I Killed You. And You. And You.

Is That Why You Hate Me?" I Ask. "partly," She Admits. "jealousy Is Certainly Involved. I Also Think You're A Little Hard To Swallow. With Your Tacky Romantic Drama And Your Defender-of-the-helpless Act. Only It Isn't An Act, Which Makes You More Unbearable. Please Feel Free To Take This Personally.

You Don't Destroy What You Want To Acquire In The Future.

That's Very Funny," Says Peeta. Suddenly He Lashes Out At The Glass In Haymitch's Hand. It Shatters On The Floor, Sending The Bloodred Liquid Running Toward The Back Of The Train. "only Not To Us.

I Take His Hand, Holding On Tightly, Preparing For The Cameras, And Dreading The Moment When I Will Finally Have To Let Go.

Finnick:" Good To See You, Peeta." Peeta:" You Be Nice To Her, Finnick. Or I Might Try And Take Her Away From You." It Could Be A Joke, If The Tone Wasn't So Cold. Everything It Conveys Is Wrong. The Open Distrust Of Finnick, The Implication That Peeta Has His Eye On Annie, That Annie Could Desert Finnick, That I Do Not Even Exist. Finnick:"oh Peeta," Says Finnick Lightly. "don't Make Me Sorry I Restarted Your Heart.

Beetee Is Still Messing Round The Tree, Doing I Don't Know What. At One Point He Snaps Off A Sliver Of Bark, Joins Us, And Throws It Against The Force Field. It Bounces Back And Lands On The Ground, Glowing. In A Few Moments It Returns To Its Original Color. "well, That Explains A Lot," Says Beetee. I Look At Peeta And Can't Help Biting My Lip To Keep From Laughing Since It Explains Absolutely Nothing To Anyone But Beetee.

I Pound On The Glass, Screaming My Head Off. Everyone Ignores Me Except For Some Capitol Attendant Who Appears Behind Me And Offers Me A Beverage.

It Means Thanks, It Means Admiration, It Means Good-bye To Someone You Love.

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John Buchanan Robinson

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