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I Was Told That My Diet Was So Poor That I Could Not Repair The Bones That Were Broken And Operated On. So I Have Just Had An Xradiograph Taken; And Lo! Perfectly Mended Solid Bone So Beautifully White That I Have Left Instructions That, If I Die, A Glove Stretcher Is To Be Made Of Me And Sent To You As A Souvenir

-George Bernard Shaw

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I Was Told That

George Bernard Shaw

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I Was Told That My Diet Was So Poor That I Could Not Repair The Bones That Were Broken And Operated On. So I Have Just Had An Xradiograph Taken; And Lo! Perfectly Mended Solid Bone So Beautifully White That I Have Left Instructions That, If I Die, A Glove Stretcher Is To Be Made Of Me And Sent To You As A Souvenir

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The British Soldier Can Stand Up To Anything Except The British War Office.

British Soldiers

Beware Of The Man Whose God Is In The Skies.

Assassination On The Scaffold Is The Worst Form Of Assassination.

Wise Kings Wear Shabby Clothes, And Leave The Gold Lace To The Drum Major.

The Only Person Who Acts Sensibly Is My Tailor. He Takes My Measure Anew Every Time He Sees Me. Everyone Else Goes By Their Old Measurements.

An Index Is A Great Leveller.

We Know There Is Intention And Purpose In The Universe, Because There Is Intention And Purpose In Us.

Power Does Not Corrupt Men; Fools, However, If They Get Into A Position Of Power, Corrupt Power.

The Only Time My Education Was Interrupted Was When I Was In School.

Truth Telling Is Not Compatible With The Defence Of The Realm.

Telling The Truth

I Am Highly Susceptible To The Force Of All Truly Religious Music, Especially To The Music Of My Own Church, The Church Of Shelley, Michelangelo, And Beethoven.

The Body Was The Slave Of The Vortex; But The Slave Has Become The Master; And We Must Free Ourselves From That Tyranny. It Is This Stuff [ Indicating Her Body ], This Flesh And Blood And Bone And All The Rest Of It, That Is Intolerable. Even Prehistoric Man Dreamed Of What He Called An Astral Body, And Asked Who Would Deliver Him From The Body Of This Death.

The Mathematician Is Fascinated With The Marvelous Beauty Of The Forms He Constructs, And In Their Beauty He Finds Everlasting Truth.

Pasteboard Pies And Paper Flowers Are Being Banished From The Stage By The Growth Of That Power Of Accurate Observation Which Is Commonly Called Cynicism By Those Who Have Not Got It...

Of All The Anti-social Vested Interests The Worst Is The Vested Interest In Ill-health.

My Main Reason For Adopting Literature As A Profession Was That, As The Author Is Never Seen By His Clients, He Need Not Dress Respectably.

Assassination Is The Extreme Form Of Censorship; And It Seems Hard To Justify An Incitement To It On Anti-censorial Principles.

Have You No Morals, Man?' 'can't Afford Them,governor.

Every Child Has A Right To Its Own Bent. . . . It Has A Right To Find Its Own Way And Go Its Own Way, Whether That Way Seems Wise Or Foolish To Others, Exactly As An Adult Has. It Has A Right To Privacy As To Its Own Doings And Its Own Affairs As Much As If It Were Its Own Father.

Where Equality Is Undisputed, So Also Is Subordination.

Never Resist Temptation: Prove All Things: Hold Fast That Which Is Good.

Nobody Can Say A Word Against Greek: It Stamps A Man At Once As An Educated Gentlemen.

My Schooling Not Only Failed To Teach Me What It Professed To Be Teaching, But Prevented Me From Being Educated To An Extent Which Infuriates Me When I Think Of All I Might Have Learned At Home By Myself.

Success Does Not Consist In Never Making Mistakes But In Never Making The Same One A Second Time.

Our Ideals, Like The Gods Of Old, Are Constantly Demanding Human Sacrifices.

I Am A Brigand: I Live By Robbing The Rich.' 'i Am A Gentleman: I Live By Robbing The Poor.

Even To This Day It Is Easier Than It Ought To Be For Me To Get A Rise Out Of An American By Telling Him Something About Himself Which Is Equally True About Every Human Being On The Face Of The Globe. He At Once Resents This As A Disparagement And An Assertion On My Part That People In Other Parts Of The Globe Are Not Like That, And Are Loftily Superior To Such Weaknesses.

When An Apparent Miracle Happened.it Proved Divine Mission To The Credulous, And Proved A Contract With The Devil To The Skeptical.

The Popular Definition Of Tragedy Is Heavy Drama In Which Everyone Is Killed In The Last Act, Comedy Being Light Drama In Which Everyone Is Married In The Last Act.

A Day's Work Is A Day's Work, Neither More Nor Less, And The Man Or Woman Who Does It Needs A Day's Sustenance, A Night's Repose And Due Leisure, Whether They Be Painter Or Ploughman.

Though Justice Be Thy Plea, Consider This: That In The Course Of Justice None Of Us Should See Salvation. We Do Pray For Mercy, And That Same Prayer Doth Teach Us All To Render The Deeds Of Mercy.

A Life Spent Making Mistakes Is Not Only More Honorable, But More Useful Than A Life Spent Doing Nothing.

The Trouble With Her Is That She Lacks The Power Of Conversation But Not The Power Of Speech.

My Only Policy Is To Profess Evil And Do Good.

There Is Nothing On Earth Intended For Innocent People So Horrible As A School.

Decency Cannot Be Discussed Without Indecency!

As Well Consult A Butcher On The Value Of Vegetarianism As A Doctor On The Worth Of Vaccination.

If Only For A Half Hour A Day, A Child Should Do Something Serviceable To The Community

I Know I Began As A Passion And Have Ended As A Habit , Like All Husbands .

This Is The True Joy In Life: Being Used For A Purpose Recognized By Yourself As A Mighty One, Being A Force Of Nature Instead Of A Feverish, Selfish Little Clod Of Ailments And Grievances, Complaining That The World Will Not Devote Itself To Making You Happy. I Am Of The Opinion That My Life Belongs To The Whole Community And As Long As I Live, It Is My Privilege To Do For It What I Can. It Is A Sort Of Splendid Torch Which I Have Got Hold Of For The Moment And I Want To Make It Burn As Brightly As Possible Before Handing It On To Future Generations.

The Worst Sin... Is... To Be Indifferent.

The Early Christian Rules Of Life Were Not Made To Last, Because The Early Christians Did Not Believe That The World Itself Was Going To Last.

The Heretic Is Always Better Dead. And Mortal Eyes Cannot Distinguish The Saint From The Heretic.

People Become Attached To Their Burdens Sometimes More Than The Burdens Are Attached To Them.

My Reputation Grows With Every Failure.

Learning From Failure

Be Like The Sun And Meadow, Which Are Not In The Least Concerned About The Coming Winter.

Do You Think That The Things People Make Fools Of Themselves About Are Any Less Real And True Than The Things They Behave Sensibly About? They Are More True: They Are The Only Things That Are True.

Your Wits Can't Thicken In That Soft Moist Air, On Those White Springy Roads, In Those Misty Rushes And Brown Bogs, On Those Hillsides Of Granite Rocks And Magenta Heather. You've No Such Colours In The Sky, No Such Lure In The Distances, No Such Sadness In The Evenings. Oh The Dreaming! The Dreaming! The Torturing, Heart-scalding, Never Satisfying Dreaming, Dreaming, Dreaming, Dreaming!

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.

Indifference Is The Essence Of Inhumanity.

The Conversion Of Paul Was No Conversion At All; It Was Paul Who Converted The Religion That Has Raised One Man Above Sin And Death.

To A Mathematician The Eleventh Means Only A Single Unit: To The Bushman Who Cannot Count Further Than His Ten Fingers It Is An Incalculable Myriad.

The Surest Way To Ruin A Man Who Doesn't Know How To Handle Money Is To Give Him Some.

Youth, What A Pity To Waste It On The Young.

Morality Is Not Respectability.

Morality And Ethics

As People Get Their Opinions So Largely From The Newspapers They Read, The Corruption Of The Schools Would Not Matter So Much If The Press Were Free. But The Press Is Not Free. As It Costs At Least A Quarter Of A Million Of Money To Establish A Daily Newspaper In London, The Newspapers Are Owned By Rich Men. And They Depend On The Advertisements Of Other Rich Men. Editors And Journalists Who Express Opinions In Print That Are Opposed To The Interests Of The Rich Are Dismissed And Replaced By Subservient Ones.

Revelations: A Curious Record Of The Visions Of A Drug Addict.

English Is The Easiest Language To Speak Badly.

Love Is A Simple Thing And A Deep Thing: It Is An Act Of Life And Not An Illusion. Art Is An Illusion.

You Can Feel Nothing But A Torment, And Believe Nothing But A Lie. You Will Not Raise Your Head To Look At All The Miracles Of Life That Surround You; But You Will Run Ten Miles To See A Fight Or A Death.

Every Man To Whom Salvation Is Offered Has An Inalienable Natural Right To Say 'no, Thank You: I Prefer To Retain My Full Moral Responsibility: It Is Not Good For Me To Be Able To Load A Scapegoat With My Sins: I Should Be Less Careful How I Committed Them If I Knew They Would Cost Me Nothing.

When Domestic Servants Are Treated As Human Beings It Is Not Worth While To Keep Them.

Don't Waste Time Collecting Other People's Autographs; Rather Devote It To Making Your Own Autograph Worth Collecting.

The Medical Profession (is) A Conspiracy To Hide Its Own Shortcomings. No Doubt The Same May Be Said Of All Professions. They Are All Conspiracies Against The Laity... (u)ntil There Is A Practicable Alternative To Blind Trust In The Doctor, The Truth About The Doctor Is So Terrible That We Dare Not Face It.

It Is Not That I Am So Clever; It Is That Everyone Else Is So Stupid.

All Censorships Exist To Prevent Anyone From Challenging Current Conceptions And Existing Institutions.

A Fool-proof Method For Sculpting An Elephant: First, Get A Huge Block Of Marble; Then You Chip Away Everything That Doesn't Look Like An Elephant.

There Is A Terrible Truthfulness About Photography That Sometimes Makes A Thing Look Ridiculous.

An Idea That No One Believes Can Not Be Proved Too Often.

If You Cannot Get Rid Of The Family Skeleton, You May As Well Make It Dance.

If You Would Stick To The Concrete, And Put Your Discoveries In The Form Of Entertaining Anecdotes About Your Adventures With Women, Your Conversation Would Be Easier To Follow.

A Man Of Genius Is Not A Man Who Sees More Than Other Men Do. On The Contrary, It Is Very Often Found That He Is Absentminded Andobserves Much Less Than Other People.... Why Is It That The Public Have Such An Exaggerated Respect For Him--after He Is Dead? The Reason Is That The Man Of Genius Understands The Importance Of The Few Things He Sees.

I Was Convinced That Ceylon Is The Cradle Of The Human Race Because Everybody There Looks An Original. All Other Nations Are Obviously Mass Produced.

Both Optimists And Pessimists Contribute To Society. The Optimist Invents The Aeroplane, The Pessimist The Parachute.

It's All That The Young Can Do For The Old, To Shock Them And Keep Them Up To Date.

Build A System That Even A Fool Can Use, And Only A Fool Will Want To Use It.

Use It Or Lose It

What Is Really Important In Man Is The Part Of Him That We Do Not Understand. Of Much Of It We Are Not Even Conscious, Just As We Are Not Normally Conscious Of Keeping Up Our Circulation By Our Heart-pump, Though If We Neglect It We Die.

You'll Never Have A Quiet World Till You Knock The Patriotism Out Of The Human Race.

I Hope You Have Lost Your Good Looks, For While They Last Any Fool Can Adore You, And The Adoration Of Fools Is Bad For The Soul. No, Give Me A Ruined Complexion And A Lost Figure And Sixteen Chins On A Farmyard Of Crow's Feet And An Obvious Wig. Then You Shall See Me Coming Out Strong.

An Englishman Thinks He Is Moral When He Is Only Uncomfortable.

We Are Members One Of Another; So That You Cannot Injure Or Help Your Neighbor Without Injuring Or Helping Yourself.

My Rank Is The Highest Known In Switzerland: I'm A Free Citizen.

Just As The Liar 's Punishment Is, Not In The Least That He Is Not Believed , But That He Cannot Believe Any One Else; So A Guilty Society Can More Easily Be Persuaded That Any Apparently Innocent Act Is Guilty Than That Any Apparently Guilty Act Is Innocent.

Women Have Been A Ghastly Nuisance In My Life.

Suppose The World Were Only One Of God's Jokes, Would You Work Any The Less To Make It A Good Joke Instead Of A Bad One?

Girls, Like Men, Want To Be Petted, Pitied, And Made Much Of, When They Are Diffident, In Low Spirits, Or In Unrequited Love. These Are Services Which The Weak Cannot Render To The Strong And Which The Strong Will Not Render To The Weak, Except When There Is Also A Difference Of Sex.

When The Master Has Come To Do Everything Through The Slave, The Slave Becomes His Master, Since He Cannot Live Without Him.

I Appeal To The Chemists To Discover A Humane Gas That Will Kill Instantly And Painlessly. In Short- A Gentlemanly Gas Deadly By All Means, But Humane, Not Cruel.

Lack Of Money Is The Root Of Of All Evil.

Greatest Wealth

Man Is Unique In That He Has Plans, Purpose And Goals Which Require The Need For Criteria Of Choice. The Need For Ethical Value Is Within Man Whose Future May Largely Be Determined By The Choice He Make

I Was Always Unlawful; I Broke The Law When I Was Born Because My Parents Weren't Married.

You Don't Learn To Hold Your Own In The World By Standing On Guard, But By Attacking, And Getting Well Hammered Yourself.

We Learn From Experience That Men Never Learn Anything From Experience.

As Long As I Have A Want, I Have A Reason For Living. Satisfaction Is Death.

Just As The Historian Can Teach No Real History Until He Has Cured His Readers Of The Romantic Delusion That The Greatness Of A Queen Consists In Her Being A Pretty Woman And Having Her Head Cut Off, So The Playwright Of The First Order Can Do Nothing With His Audience Until He Has Cured Them Of Looking At The Stage Through The Keyhole, And Sniffing Round The Theatre As Prurient People Sniff Round The Divorce Court.

I Enjoy Convalescence. It Is The Part That Makes The Illness Worth While.

Whisky Is Liquid Sunshine.

We Educate One Another; And We Cannot Do This If Half Of Us Consider The Other Half Not Good Enough To Talk To.

Not Good Enough

Any Sort Of Plain Speaking Is Better Than The Nauseous Sham Good Fellowship Our Democratic Public Men Get Up For Shop Use.

What Is Wrong With The Prosaic Englishman Is What Is Wrong With The Prosaic Men Of All Countries: Stupidity.

The Best Way To Get Your Point Across Is To Entertain.

No Englishman Is Ever Fairly Beaten

Science Can Never Solve One Problem Without Raising Ten More Problems.

Every Englishman Believes That Handel Now Occupies An Important Position In Heaven. If So, Le Bon Dieu Must Feel Toward Him Very Much As Louis Treize Felt Toward Richelieu.

If A Woman Rebels Against High-heeled Shoes, She Should Take Care To Do It In A Very Smart Hat

We Throw The Whole Drudgery Of Creation On One Sex, And Then Imply That No Female Of Any Delicacy Would Initiate Any Effort In That Direction.

Being A Mother Means That Your Heart Is No Longer Yours; It Wanders Wherever Your Children Do

As Long As More People Will Pay Admission To A Theater To See A Naked Body Than To See A Naked Brain, The Drama Will Languish.

But A Mother Is Like A Broomstick Or Like The Sun In The Heavens, It Does Not Matter Which As Far As One's Knowledge Of Her Is Concerned: The Broomstick Is There And The Sun Is There; And Whether The Child Is Beaten By It Or Warmed And Enlightened By It, It Accepts It As A Fact In Nature, And Does Not Conceive It As Having Had Youth, Passions, And Weaknesses, Or As Still Growing, Yearning, Suffering, And Learning.

You Have To Choose Between Trusting To The Natural Stability Of Gold And The Natural Stability Of The Honesty And Intelligence Of The Members Of The Government. And, With Due Respect To These Gentlemen, I Advise You, As Long As The Capitalist System Lasts, To Vote For Gold.

Justice Is Impartiality. Only Strangers Are Impartial.

You Will Think Less Of The Art, When You Know The Artist

Man's Inhumanity To Man Is Only Surpassed By His Cruelty To Animals

Inhumanity To Man

Instead Of Otello Being An Italian Opera Written In The Style Of Shakespeare, Othello Is A Play Written By Shakespeare In The Style Of Italian Opera.

Those Who Are Looking For Paradise On Earth Should Come And See Dubrovnik.

Paradise On Earth

Medical Science Is As Yet Very Imperfectly Differentiated From Common Cure-mongering Witchcraft

Medical Science

The Harder I Work The More I Live.

Forgive Him, For He Believes That The Customs Of His Tribe Are The Laws Of Nature!

Once There Was A Time When All People Believed In God And The Church Ruled. This Time Is Called The Dark Ages. He Who Can, Does. He Who Cannot Teaches.

Set Me Anything To Do As A Task, And It Is Inconceivable The Desire I Have To Do Something Else.

Our Laws Make Law Impossible; Our Liberties Destroy All Freedom; Our Property Is Organized Robbery; Our Morality An Impudent Hypocrisy; Our Wisdom Is Administered By Inexperienced Or Mal-experienced Dupes; Our Power Wielded By Cowards And Weaklings; And Our Honour False In All Its Points. I Am An Enemy Of The Existing Order For Good Reasons

With The Exception Of Capitalism, There Is Nothing So Revolting As Revolution.

Imitation Is Not Just The Sincerest Form Of Flattery - It's The Sincerest Form Of Learning.

Science Is Always Simple And Always Profound. It Is Only The Half-truths That Are Dangerous.

There Is Nothing So Bad Or So Good That You Will Not Find Englishmen Doing It; But You Will Never Find An Englishman In The Wrong. He Does Everything On Principle.

The Real Brahms Is Nothing More Than A Sentimental Voluptuary. Rather Tiresomely Addicted To Dressing Himself Up As Handel Or Beethoven And Making A Prolonged And Intolerable Noise.

Life Is Too Short For Men To Take It Seriously.

The Liar's Punishment Is Not In The Least That He Is Not Believed, But That He Cannot Believe Anyone Else.

Life On Board A Pleasure Steamer Violates Every Moral And Physical Condition Of Healthy Life Except Fresh Air. . . . It Is A Guzzling, Lounging, Gambling, Dog's Life. The Only Alternative To Excitement Is Irritability.

Doing What Needs To Be Done May Not Make You Happy, But It Will Make You Great.

If 'pygmalion' Is Not Good Enough For Your Friends With Its Own Verbal Music, Their Talent Must Be Altogether Extraordinary.

Not Good Enough

The Things Most People Want To Know About Are Usually None Of Their Business.

In A Hospital They Throw You Out Into The Street Before You Are Half Cured, But In A Nursing Home They Don't Let You Out Till You Are Dead.

Kings Are Not Born: They Are Made By Artificial Hallucination.

Most People Do Not Pray; They Only Beg.

The Thought Of Two Thousand People Crunching Celery At The Same Time Horrified Me.

A Mind Of The Caliber Of Mine Cannot Derive Its Nutrient From Cows.

We Have No More Right To Consume Happiness Without Producing It Than To Consume Wealth Without Producing It.

I Am The Most Spontaneous Speaker In The World Because Every Word, Every Gesture, And Every Retort Has Been Carefully Rehearsed.

Experience Is A Wonderful Thing. It Enables You To Recognize A Mistake When You Make It Again. If All Economists Were Laid End To End They Would Not Reach A Conclusion.

It's So Hard To Know What To Do When One Wishes Earnestly To Do Right.

War Can So Easily Be Gilt With Romance And Heroism And Solemn National Duty And Patriotism And The Like By Persons Whose Superficial Literary And Oratorical Talent Covers An Abyss Of Godforsaken Folly.

What You Are To Do Without Me I Cannot Imagine.

Only Fools Repeat The Same Things Over And Over, Expecting To Obtain Different Results.

We Must Not Stay As We Are, Doing Always What Was Done Last Time; Or We Shall Stick In The Mud.

Very Nice Sort Of Place, Oxford, I Should Think, For People That Like That Sort Of Place. They Teach You To Be A Gentleman There. In The Polytechnic They Teach You To Be An Engineer Or Such Like. See?

Cruelty Must Be Whitewashed By A Moral Excuse, And Pretense Of Reluctance.

When You Find Something Funny Search It For Hidden Truth.

Words Are Only Postage Stamps Delivering The Object For You To Unwrap

Social Progress Takes Effect Through The Replacement Of All Institutions By New Ones; And Since Every Institution Involves The Recognition Of The Duty Of Conforming To It, Progress Must Involve The Repudiation Of An Established Duty At Every Step.

If You Injure Your Neighbour, Better Not Do It By Halves.

The Criminal Law Is No Use To Decent People.

When Your Eyes Are Fixed In The Stare Of Unconsciousness, And Your Throat Coughs The Last Gasping Breath - As One Dragged In The Dark To A Great Precipice - What Assistance Are A Wife And Child?

That Is What All Poets Do: They Talk To Themselves Out Loud; And The World Overhears Them. But It's Horribly Lonely Not To Hear Someone Else Talk Sometimes.

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It.

The Haughty American Nation ... Makes The Negro Clean Its Boots And Then Proves The Moral And Physical Inferiority Of The Negro By The Fact That He Is A Bootblack.

An Author Who Gives A Manager Or Publisher Any Rights In His Work Except Those Immediately And Specifically Required For Its Publication Or Performance Is For Business Purposes An Imbecile.

Men Trifle With Their Business And Their Politics But Never Trifle With Their Games. It Brings Truth Home To Them. They Cannot Pretend They Have Won When They Have Lost Nor That They Had A Magnificent Drive When They Foozled It. The Englishman Is At His Best On The Links And At His Worst In The Cabinet.

When I Was Young, I Observed That Nine Out Of Ten Things I Did Were Failures. So I Did Ten Times More Work.

The Function Of Comedy Is To Dispelunconsciousness By Turning The Searchlight Of The Keenest Moral And Intellectual Analysisright On To It.

Don't Order Any Black Things. Rejoice In His Memory; And Be Radiant: Leave Grief To The Children. Wear Violet And Purple. Be Patient With The Poor People Who Will Snivel: They Don't Know; And They Think They Will Live For Ever, Which Makes Death A Division Instead Of A Bond.

An Election Is A Moral Horror, As Bad As A Battle Except For The Blood; A Mud Bath For Every Soul Concerned In It.

What Is Wrong With Priests And Popes Is That Instead Of Being Apostles And Saints, They Are Nothing But Empirics Who Say I Know Instead Of I Am Learning, And Pray For Credulity And Inertia As Wise Men Pray For Skepticism And Activity.

The Whole World Is Strewn With Snares, Traps, Gins And Pitfalls For The Capture Of Men By Women.

We Should Have Had Socialism Already, But For The Socialists, Am Quite Willing To Drop The Name If Dropping It Will Help Me To Get The Thing.

We Mustn't Be Stiff And Stand-off, You Know. We Must Be Thoroughly Democratic, And Patronize Everybody Without Distinction Of Class.

Consciousness Of A Fact Is Not Knowing It: If It Were, The Fish Would Know More Of The Sea Than The Geographers And The Naturalists.

The Art Of Manipulating Public Opinion, Which Is A Necessary Art For The Democratic Politician, And, Like Other Arts, Is Sometimespractised With Greater Virtuosity By Knaves Than By Honest Men (who Are Apt To Disdain It), Has A Different Technique In Different Countries. For Instance, In England We Excel In Whitewashing: In America They Excel In Tarring And Feathering. We Strain Our Nerves And Stretch Our Consciences To Avoid A Scandal: Americans Do The Same To Make One.

Capitalism Drives The Employers To Do Their Worst To The Employed, And The Employed To Do The Least For Them. And It Boasts All The Time Of The Incentive It Provides To Both To Do Their Best! . . . The Reason The Capitalist System Has Worked So Far Without Jamming For More Than A Few Months At A Time, And Then Only In Places, Is That It Has Not Yet Succeeded In Making A Conquest Of Human Nature So Complete That Everybody Acts On Strictly Business Principles.

Islam Is The Best Religion And Muslims Are The Worst Followers

All Industries Are Brought Under The Control Of Such People [film Producers] By Capitalism. If The Capitalists Let Themselves Be Seduced From Their Pursuit Of Profits To The Enchantments Of Art, They Would Be Bankrupt Before They Knew Where They Were. You Cannot Combine The Pursuit Of Money With The Pursuit Of Art.

Well, Upon My Soul! You Are Not Ashamed To Stand There And Confess Yourself A Disgusting Drunkard.

A Contract For Better For Worse Is A Contract That Should Not Be Tolerated.

Political Necessities Sometime Turn Out To Be Political Mistakes.

It Is Not Pleasure That Makes Life Worth Living. It Is Life That Makes Pleasure Worth Having.

Life Worth Living

What We Are Confronted With Now Is A Growing Perception That If We Desire A Certain Type Of Civilization And Culture We Must Exterminate The Sort Of People Who Do Not Fit Into It.

The Notion That The Colonel Need Be A Better Man Than The Private Is As Confused As The Notion That The Keystone Need Be Stronger Than The Coping Stone.

I Assume That To Prevent Illness In Later Life, You Should Never Have Been Born At All.

The Plain Working Truth Is That It Is Not Only Good For People To Be Shocked Occasionally, But Absolutely Necessary To The Progress Of Society That They Should Be Shocked Pretty Often.

Progress Of Society

Must Then A Christ Perish In Torment In Every Age To Save Those That Have No Imagination.

For Nearly Twenty Years I Have Been A Published Author... But I Have Never Yet Seen A Book Of Mine Offered For Sale In A Shop Window.

I Become More Convinced That Beings From Other Planets Are Using The Earth As A Lunatic Asylum

Lunatic Asylums

Vegetarians Claim To Be Immune From Most Diseases But They Have Been Known To Die From Time To Time.

I Am Sorry To Have To Introduce The Subject Of Christmas. It Is An Indecent Subject; A Cruel, Gluttonous Subject; A Drunken, Disorderly Subject; A Wasteful, Disastrous Subject; A Wicked, Cadging, Lying, Filthy, Blasphemous And Demoralizing Subject. Christmas Is Forced On A Reluctant And Disgusted Nation By The Shopkeepers And The Press: On Its Own Merits It Would Wither And Shrivel In The Fiery Breath Of Universal Hatred; And Anyone Who Looked Back To It Would Be Turned Into A Pillar Of Greasy Sausages.

Eternal Is The Fact That The Human Creature Born In Ireland And Brought Up In Its Air Is Irish. I Have Lived For Twenty Years In Ireland And For Seventy-two In England; But The Twenty Came First And In Britain I Am Still A Foreigner And Shall Die One.

I Have Studied Him - The Wonderful Man - And In My Opinion Far From Being An Anti-christ He Must Be Called The Saviour Of Humanity.

A Man Ought To Be Able To Be Fond Of His Wife Without Making A Fool Of Himself About Her.

Freedom, My Good Girl, Means Being Able To Count On How Other People Will Behave.

In Your Salvation Shelter I Saw Poverty, Misery, Cold And Hunger. You Gave Them Bread And Treacle And Dreams Of Heaven. I Give From Thirty Shillings A Week To Twelve Thousand A Year. They Find Their Own Dreams; But I Look After The Drainage.

Nietzche . . . He Was A Confirmed Life Force Worshipper. It Was He Who Raked Up The Superman, Who Is As Old As Prometheus; And The 20th Century Will Run After This Newest Of The Old Crazes When It Gets Tired Of The World, The Flesh, And Your Humble Servant.

People Have Pointed Out Evidences Of Personal Feeling In My Notices As If They Were Accusing Me Of A Misdemeanor, Not Knowing That Criticism Written Without Personal Feeling Is Not Worth Reading. It Is The Capacity For Making Good Or Bad Art A Personal Matter That Makes A Man A Critic.

I Learned Long Ago, Never To Wrestle With A Pig. You Get Dirty, And Besides, The Pig Likes It.

Any Belief Worth Having Must Survive Doubt

The Reasonable Man Will Adjust To The Demands Of His Environment. The Unreasonable Man Expects His Environment To Adjust To His Own Needs. Therefore, All Progress Depends Upon The Unreasonable Man.

I'm One Of The Undeserving Poor: That's What I Am. Think Of What That Means To A Man. It Means That He's Up Agen Middle Class Morality All The Time.... What Is Middle Class Morality? Just An Excuse For Never Giving Me Anything.

Geniuses Are Horrid, Intolerant, Easily Offended, Sleeplessly Self-conscious Men, Who Expect Their Wives To Be Angels With No Further Business In Life Than To Pet And Worship Their Husbands. Even At The Best They Are Not Comfortable Men To Live With; And A Perfect Husband Is One Who Is Perfectly Comfortable To Live With.

In The Arts Of Peace Man Is A Bungler.

All Evolution In Thought And Conduct Must At First Appear As Heresy And Misconduct.

The Best Bought-up Children Are Those Who Have Seen Thier Parents As They Are. Hypocrisy Is Not The First Duty Of A Parent.

It Is A Curious Sensation: The Sort Of Pain That Goes Mercifully Beyond Our Powers Of Feeling. When Your Heart Is Broken, Your Boats Are Burned: Nothing Matters Any More. It Is The End Of Happiness And The Beginning Of Peace.

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