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The Haughty American Nation ... Makes The Negro Clean Its Boots And Then Proves The Moral And Physical Inferiority Of The Negro By The Fact That He Is A Bootblack.

-George Bernard Shaw

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The Haughty American Nation

George Bernard Shaw

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The Haughty American Nation ... Makes The Negro Clean Its Boots And Then Proves The Moral And Physical Inferiority Of The Negro By The Fact That He Is A Bootblack.

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I Feel Nothing But The Accursed Happiness I Have Dreaded All My Life Long: The Happiness That Comes As Life Goes, The Happiness Of Yielding And Dreaming Instead Of Resisting And Doing, The Sweetness Of The Fruit That Is Going Rotten.

I Find That Socialism Is Often Misunderstood By Its Least Intelligent Supporters And Opponents To Mean Simply Unrestrained Indulgence Of Our Natural Propensity To Heave Bricks At Respectable Persons.

The Only Way In Which A Nation Can Make Itself Wealthy And Prosperous Is By Good Housekeeping: That Is, By Providing For Its Wants In The Order Of Their Importance, And Allowing No Money To Be Wasted On Whims And Luxuries Until Necessities Have Been Thoroughly Served.

Christianity As A Specific Doctrine Was Slain With Jesus, Suddenly And Utterly. He Was Hardly Cold In His Grave, Or High In His Heaven (as You Please), Before The Apostles Dragged The Tradition Of Him Down To The Level Of The Thing It Has Remained Ever Since.

Suppose The World Were Only One Of God's Jokes, Would You Work Any The Less To Make It A Good Joke Instead Of A Bad One?

In This World There Is Always Danger For Those Who Are Afraid Of It.

Here There Is No Hope, And Consequently No Duty, No Work, Nothing To Be Gained By Praying, Nothing To Be Lost By Doing What You Like. Hell, In Short, Is A Place Where You Have Nothing To Do But Amuse Yourself.

What Is Wrong With Priests And Popes Is That Instead Of Being Apostles And Saints, They Are Nothing But Empirics Who Say I Know Instead Of I Am Learning, And Pray For Credulity And Inertia As Wise Men Pray For Skepticism And Activity.

If At Age 20 You Are Not A Communist Then You Have No Heart. If At Age 30 You Are Not A Capitalist Then You Have No Brains.

The Policy Of Letting Things Alone, In The Practical Sense That The Government Should Never Interfere With Business Or Go Into Business Itself, Is Called Laisser-faire By Economists And Politicians. It Has Broken Down So Completely In Practice That It Is Now Discredited; But It Was All The Fashion In Politics A Hundred Years Ago, And Is Still Influentially Advocated By Men Of Business And Their Backers Who Naturally Would Like To Be Allowed To Make Money As They Please Without Regard To The Interest Of The Public.

Unless The People Can Choose Their Leaders And Rulers, And Can Revoke Their Choice At Intervals Long Enough To Test Their Measuresby Results, The Government Will Be A Tyranny Exercised In The Interests Of Whatever Classes Or Castes Or Mobs Or Cliques Have This Choice.

Custom Will Reconcile People To Any Atrocity, And Fashion Will Drive Them To Acquire Any Custom.

The Churches Must Learn Humility As Well As Teach It.

The Universal Regard For Money Is The One Hopeful Fact In Our Civilization. Money Is The Most Important Thing In The World. It Represents Health, Strength, Honor, Generosity And Beauty . . . . Not The Least Of Its Virtues Is That It Destroys Basic People As Certainly As It Fortifies And Dignifies Noble People.

Martyrdom Is The Only Path To Immortality That Requires No Talent Whatsoever.

Style Is Effectiveness Of Assertion.

When We Know What God Is, We Shall Be Gods Ourselves.

Cruelty Would Be Delicious If One Could Only Find Some Sort Of Cruelty That Didn't Really Hurt.

Be Like The Sun And Meadow, Which Are Not In The Least Concerned About The Coming Winter.

Science Becomes Dangerous Only When It Imagines That It Has Reached Its Goal.

I Am A Sort Of Collector Of Religions: And The Curious Thing Is That I Find I Can Believe In Them All.

[man] Progresses In All Things By Making A Fool Of Himself.

Our Necessities Are Few, But Our Wants Are Endless.

At Present There Is Not A Single Credible Established Religion In The World.

Those Who Minister To Poverty And Disease Are Accomplices In The Two Worst Of All The Crimes.

The Goal Of An Artist Is To Create The Definitive Work That Cannot Be Surpassed.

The Educated Man Is A Greater Nuisance Than The Uneducated One.

Altogether Too Many Sheep

Every Dream Is A Prophecy: Every Jest Is An Earnest In The Womb Of Time.

A Newspaper, Not Having To Act On Its Descriptions And Reports, But Only To Sell Them To Idly Curious People, Has Nothing But Honor To Lose By Inaccuracy And Non-veracity.

Never Repeat Old Grievances.

A Child Hasn't A Grown-up Person's Appetite For Affection. A Little Of It Goes A Long Way With Them; And They Like A Good Imitation Of It Better Than The Real Thing, As Every Nurse Knows.

We Know There Is Intention And Purpose In The Universe, Because There Is Intention And Purpose In Us.

New Opinions Often Appear First As Jokes And Fancies, Then As Blasphemies And Treason, Then As Questions Open To Discussion, And Finally As Established Truths.

My Heart, My Heart, Be Whole And Free: Love Is Thine Only Enemy.

It Is Not Enough To Know What Is Good: You Must Be Able To Do It.

Morality Is Not Respectability.

Morality And Ethics

A Tranquil Woman Can Go On Sewing Longer Than An Angry Man Can Go On Fuming.

Reviewing Has One Advantage Over Suicide: In Suicide You Take It Out On Yourself; In Reviewing You Take It Out On Other People.

Nationalism Must Now Be Added To The Refuse Pile Of Superstitions. We Are Now Citizens Of The World, And The Man Who Divides The Race Into Elect Irishmen And Reprobate Foreign Devils (especially Englishmen) Had Better Live On The Blaskets Where He Can Admire Himself Without Disturbance.

God's Trustiest Lieutenants Often Lack Official Credentials. They May Be Professed Atheists Who Are Also Men Of Honour And High Public Spirit.

Dying Is A Troublesome Business: There Is Pain To Be Suffered, And It Wrings One's Heart; But Death Is A Splendid Thing -a Warfare Accomplished, A Beginning All Over Again, A Triumph. You Can Always See That In Their Faces.

Consciousness Of A Fact Is Not Knowing It: If It Were, The Fish Would Know More Of The Sea Than The Geographers And The Naturalists.

Faith In Reason As A Prime Motor Is No Longer The Criterion Of The Sound Mind, Any More Than Faith In The Bible Is The Criterion Of Righteous Intention.

The Function Of Comedy Is To Dispelunconsciousness By Turning The Searchlight Of The Keenest Moral And Intellectual Analysisright On To It.

Let Not The Right Side Of Your Brain Know What The Left Side Doeth.

Very Nice Sort Of Place, Oxford, I Should Think, For People That Like That Sort Of Place. They Teach You To Be A Gentleman There. In The Polytechnic They Teach You To Be An Engineer Or Such Like. See?

The Poor Silly-clever Irishman Takes Off His Hat To God's Englishman.

Well, Upon My Soul! You Are Not Ashamed To Stand There And Confess Yourself A Disgusting Drunkard.

If The Governments Devalue The Currency In Order To Betray All Creditors, You Politely Call This Procedure 'inflation'.

All Progress Is Due To The Unreasonable Person.

Security, The Chief Pretense Of Civilization, Cannot Exist Where The Worst Of Dangers, The Danger Of Poverty, Hangs Over Everyone's Head.

Every Doctor Will Allow A Colleague To Decimate A Whole Countryside Sooner Than Violate The Bond Of Professional Etiquette By Giving Him Away.

I Am Justified. For I Chose Wisdom And The Knowledge Of Good And Evil ; And Now There Is No Evil; And Wisdom And Good Are One. It Is Enough.

I Dread Success. To Have Succeeded Is To Have Finished One's Business On Earth, Like The Male Spider Who Is Killed By The Female The Moment He Has Succeeded In His Courtship. I Like The State Of Continual Becoming, With A Goal In Front And Not Behind.

Where There Is No Religion, Hypocrisy Becomes Good Taste.

I Know I Began As A Passion And Have Ended As A Habit , Like All Husbands .

I Loathe The Mess Of Mean Superstitions And Misunderstood Prophecies Which Is Still Rammed Down The Throats Of Children Under The Name Of Christianity.

The Ideal Love Affair Should Be Conducted By Post.

From Mozart I Learnt To Say Important Things In A Conversational Way.

In The Arts Of Peace Man Is A Bungler.

When Your Eyes Are Fixed In The Stare Of Unconsciousness, And Your Throat Coughs The Last Gasping Breath - As One Dragged In The Dark To A Great Precipice - What Assistance Are A Wife And Child?

All Dress Is Fancy Dress, Is It Not, Except Our Natural Skins?

The Nation's Morals Are Like Its Teeth: The More Decayed They Are The More It Hurts To Touch Them.

In A Hospital They Throw You Out Into The Street Before You Are Half Cured, But In A Nursing Home They Don't Let You Out Till You Are Dead.

The American Constitution, One Of The Few Modern Political Documents Drawn Up By Men Who Were Forced By The Sternest Circumstances To Think Out What They Really Had To Face, Instead Of Chopping Logic In A University Classroom.

Silence Is The Most Perfect Expression Of Scorn.

What A Heartbreaking Job It Is Trying To Combine Authors For Their Own Protection... The First Lesson I Learned Was That When You Take The Field For The Authors You Will Be Safer Without A Breastplate Than Without A Backplate.

I Have Studied Him - The Wonderful Man - And In My Opinion Far From Being An Anti-christ He Must Be Called The Saviour Of Humanity.

Kings Are Not Born: They Are Made By Artificial Hallucination.

A Mind Of The Caliber Of Mine Cannot Derive Its Nutrient From Cows.

You Can Feel Nothing But A Torment, And Believe Nothing But A Lie. You Will Not Raise Your Head To Look At All The Miracles Of Life That Surround You; But You Will Run Ten Miles To See A Fight Or A Death.

You Are All Fundamentalists With A Top Dressing Of Science. That Is Why You Are The Stupidest Of Conservatives And Reactionists In Politics And The Most Bigoted Of Obstructionists In Science Itself. When It Comes To Getting A Move On You Are All Of The Same Opinion: Stop It, Flog It, Hang It, Dynamite It, Stamp It Out.

If More Than 10% Of The People Like A Painting, You Can Be Sure It's Bad.

Never Resist Temptation: Prove All Things: Hold Fast That Which Is Good.

If You Cannot Have What You Believe In You Must Believe In What You Have.

I Showed My Appreciation Of My Native Land In The Usual Irish Way: By Getting Out Of It As Soon As I Possibly Could.

We Don't Stop Playing Because We Grow Old; We Grow Old Because We Stop Playing.

An Englishman Does Everything On Principle: He Fights You On Patriotic Principles; He Robs You On Business Principles; He Enslaves You On Imperial Principles.

Time Enough To Think Of The Future When You Haven't Any Future To Think Of.

I Am Enclosing Two Tickets To The First Night Of My New Play; Bring A Friend... If You Have One.

A Man Who Has No Office To Go, To I Don't Care Who He Is, Is A Trial Of Which You Can Have No Conception.

Do Not Waste Your Time On Social Questions. What Is The Matter With The Poor Is Poverty; What Is The Matter With The Rich Is Uselessness.

Do Not Mistake Your Objection To Defeat For An Objection To Fighting, Your Objection To Being A Slave For An Objection To Slavery, Your Objection To Not Being As Rich As Your Neighbor For An Objection To Poverty. The Cowardly, The Insubordinate, And The Envious Share Your Objections.

If You Leave The Smallest Corner Of Your Head Vacant For A Moment, Other People's Opinions Will Rush In From All Quarters.

No Man Can Be A Pure Specialist Without Being In The Strict Sense An Idiot.

It Is The Inefficiency And Sham Of ... Our Schools ... That Save Us From Being Dashed On The Rocks Of False Doctrine Instead Of Drifting Down The Midstream Of Mere Ignorance.

There Is Nothing On Earth More Exquisite Than A Bonny Book, With Well-placed Columns Of Rich Black Writing In Beautiful Borders, And Illuminated Pictures Cunningly Inset. But Nowadays, Instead Of Looking At Books, People Read Them. A Book Might As Well Be One Of Those Orders For Bacon And Bran.

Get Out Of My Way; For I Won't Stop For You.

Nobody Can Say A Word Against Greek: It Stamps A Man At Once As An Educated Gentlemen.

Your Heart And Your Mouth Wil Be In Two Separate Parts Of Your Body If You Again Forget In Whose Presence You Stand.

A Happy Family Is But An Earlier Heaven.

A Doctor's Reputation Is Made By The Number Of Eminent Men Who Die Under His Care.

Discussing Vaccination With A Doctor Is Like Discussing Vegetarianism With A Butcher.

If A Man Is Indolent, Let Him Be Poor. If He Is Drunken, Let Him Be Poor.... Also--somewhat Inconsistently--blessed Are The Poor!

Liberty Means Responsibility. That Is Why Most Men Dread It.

Female Murderers Get Sheaves Of Offers Of Marriage.

You May Well Ask Me Why...i Took The Time To Write [books]. I Can Only Reply That I Do Not Know. There Was No Why About It. I Had To: That Was All.

The British Are Apt To Make Merits Of Their Stupidities, And To Represent Their Various Incapacities As Points Of Good Breeding.

To A Mathematician The Eleventh Means Only A Single Unit: To The Bushman Who Cannot Count Further Than His Ten Fingers It Is An Incalculable Myriad.

I Was A Cannibal For Twenty-five Years. For The Rest I Have Been A Vegetarian.

The Natural Term Of The Affection Of The Human Animal For Its Offspring Is Six Years.

There Is Nothing So Bad Or So Good That You Will Not Find Englishmen Doing It; But You Will Never Find An Englishman In The Wrong. He Does Everything On Principle.

When The Military Man Approaches, The World Locks Up Its Spoons And Packs Off Its Womankind.

Which Painting In The National Gallery Would I Save If There Was A Fire? The One Nearest The Door Of Course.

As Long As I Have A Want, I Have A Reason For Living. Satisfaction Is Death.

Every Englishman Believes That Handel Now Occupies An Important Position In Heaven. If So, Le Bon Dieu Must Feel Toward Him Very Much As Louis Treize Felt Toward Richelieu.

The Only Secrets Are The Secrets That Keep Themselves.

Keeping Secrets

Without Danger I Cannot Be Great. That Is How I Pay For Abel's Blood. Danger And Fear Follow My Steps Everywhere. Without Them Courage Would Have No Sense. And It Is Courage, Courage, Courage That Raises The Blood Of Life To Crimson Splendor.

Pothinus: "is It Possible That Caesar, The Conqueror Of The World, Has Time To Occupy Himself With Such A Trifle As Our Taxes?" Caesar: "my Friend, Taxes Are The Chief Business Of A Conqueror Of The World.

Am Reserving Two Tickets For You For My Premiere. Come And Bring A Friend - If You Have One. Telegram Inviting Winston Churchill To Opening Night Of Pygmalion. Churchill Wired Back: Impossible To Be Present For The First Performance. Will Attend The Second - If There Is One.

Idiots Are Always In Favour Of Inequality Of Income (their Only Chance Of Eminence), And The Really Great In Favour Of Equality.

A Government That Robs Peter To Pay Paul Can Always Depend On The Support Of Paul.

No Community Has Ever Yet Passed Beyond The Initial Phases In Which Its Pugnacity And Fanaticism Enabled It To Found A Nation, And Its Cupidity To Establish And Develop A Commercial Civilization.

Criminals Do Not Die By The Hands Of The Law. They Die By The Hands Of Other Men.

Except During The Nine Months Before He Draws His First Breath, No Man Manages His Affairs As Well As A Tree Does.

You Have Set Up In New York Harbor A Monstrous Idol Which You Call Liberty. The Only Thing That Remains To Complete That Monument Is To Put On Its Pedestal The Inscription Written By Dante On The Gate Of Hell: All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here.

Use Your Health, Even To The Point Of Wearing It Out. That Is What It Is For. Spend All You Have Before You Die; Do Not Outlive Yourself.

Hypocrisy ... Is Only Bad When It Is Improperly Used.

Stop Being Jews And Start Being Human Beings.

If The English Can Survive Their Food, They Can Survive Anything.

This Souls'prison We Call England.

The Ordinary Man Is An Anarchist. He Wants To Do As He Likes. He May Want His Neighbour To Be Governed, But He Himself Doesn't Want To Be Governed. He Is Mortally Afraid Of Government Officials And Policemen.

The Truth Sticks In Our Throats With All The Sauces It Is Served With: It Will Never Go Down Until We Take It Without Any Sauce At All.

Nietzche . . . He Was A Confirmed Life Force Worshipper. It Was He Who Raked Up The Superman, Who Is As Old As Prometheus; And The 20th Century Will Run After This Newest Of The Old Crazes When It Gets Tired Of The World, The Flesh, And Your Humble Servant.

Shall I Turn Up The Light For You? No, Give Me Deeper Darkness. Money Is Not Made In The Light.

Newspaper : A Device Unable To Distinguish Between A Bicycle Accident And The Collapse Of Civilisation.

We Throw The Whole Drudgery Of Creation On One Sex, And Then Imply That No Female Of Any Delicacy Would Initiate Any Effort In That Direction.

It's All That The Young Can Do For The Old, To Shock Them And Keep Them Up To Date.

Any Belief Worth Having Must Survive Doubt

My Rank Is The Highest Known In Switzerland: I'm A Free Citizen.

I Wish To Boast That Pygmalion Has Been An Extremely Successful Play All Over Europe And North America As Well As At Home. It Is So Intensely And Deliberately Didactic, And Its Subject Is Esteemed So Dry, That I Delight In Throwing It At The Heads Of The Wiseacres Who Repeat The Parrot Cry That Art Should Never Be Didactic. It Goes To Prove My Contention That Art Should Never Be Anything Else.

The Utmost I Can Bear For Myself In My Best Days Is That I Was One Of The Hundred Best Playwrights In The World, Which Is Hardly A Supreme Distinction.

The Way To Deal With Worldly People Is To Frighten Them By Repeating Their Scandalous Whisperings Aloud.

To A Professional Critic (i Have Been One Myself) Theatre-going Is The Curse Of Adam. The Play Is The Evil He Is Paid To Endure In The Sweat Of His Brow; And The Sooner It Is Over, The Better.

I Don't. I Look My Age; And I Am My Age. It Is The Other People Who Look Older Than They Are. What Can You Expect From People Who Eat Corpses And Drink Spirits?

I Claim To Be A Conscientiously Immoral Writer.

Treat Persons Who Profess To Be Able To Cure Disease As You Treat Fortune Tellers.

We All Have--to Put It As Nicely As I Can--our Lower Centres And Our Higher Centres. Our Lower Centres Act: They Act With Terriblepower That Sometimes Destroys Us; But They Don't Talk.... Since The War The Lower Centres Have Become Vocal. And The Effect Is That Of An Earthquake. For They Speak Truths That Have Never Been Spoken Before--truths That The Makers Of Our Domestic Institutions Have Tried To Ignore.

Indifference Is The Essence Of Inhumanity.

If You Cannot Get Rid Of The Family Skeleton, You May As Well Make It Dance.

I Learned More From The First Stupid Woman Who Fell In Love With Me Than Ever My Brains Taught Me.

Golf Is Typical Capitalist Luncay.

The More Things A Man Is Ashamed Of, The More Respectable He Is.

The Most Sincere Form Of Love Is Love For Food

Very Nice Sort Of Place, Oxford, I Should Think, For People That Like That Sort Of Place.

Happiness And Beauty Are By-products.

Happiness And Beauty

In A Living Society Every Day Is A Day Of Judgment; And Its Recognition As Such Is Not The End Of All Things But The Beginning Ofa Real Civilization.

People Always Get Tired Of One Another. I Grow Tired Of Myself Whenever I Am Left Alone For Ten Minutes, And I Am Certain That I Am Fonder Of Myself Than Anyone Can Be Of Another Person.

I Do Not Waste My Time Writing Pot-boilers: The Pot Must Be Boiled, And Even My Pot Au Feu Has Some Chunks Of Fresh Meat In It. ...i Have No Time To Boil Myself Down; And Anyhow I Could Not Do So And Preserve All The Necessary Nutriment And The Flavoring On Which The Digestibility Depends.

A Man Without An Address Is A Vagabond; A Man With Two Addresses Is A Libertine.

The Most Tragic Thing In The World Is A Man Of Genius Who Is Not A Man Of Honor.

Jesus Remains Unshaken As The Practical Man; And We Stand Exposed As The Fools, The Blunderers, The Unpractical Visionaries.

The Public Want Actresses, Because They Think All Actresses Bad. They Don't Want Music Or Poetry Because They Know That Both Are Good. So Actors And Actresses Thrive And Poets And Composers Starve.

In A Battle All You Need To Make You Fight Is A Little Hot Blood And The Knowledge That It's More Dangerous To Lose Than To Win.

You Do Not Settle Whether An Argument Is Justified By Merely Showing That It Is Of Some Use. The Distinction Is Not Between Useful And Useless Experiments But Between Barbarous And Civilized Behaviour. Vivisection Is A Social Evil Because If It Advances Human Knowledge, It Does So At The Expense Of Human Character.

I Must Remind You That Our Credulity Is Not To Be Measured By The Truth Of The Things We Believe. When Men Believed That The Earthwas Flat, They Were Not Credulous: They Were Using Their Common Sense, And, If Asked To Prove That The Earth Was Flat, Would Have Said Simply, "look At It." Those Who Refuse To Believe That It Is Round Are Exercising A Wholesome Skepticism.

All Industries Are Brought Under The Control Of Such People [film Producers] By Capitalism. If The Capitalists Let Themselves Be Seduced From Their Pursuit Of Profits To The Enchantments Of Art, They Would Be Bankrupt Before They Knew Where They Were. You Cannot Combine The Pursuit Of Money With The Pursuit Of Art.

Let No One Suppose That The Words Doctor And Patient Can Disguise From The Parties The Fact That They Are Employer And Employee.

I Fought Linotype And Montype For Some Time Because It Would Not Justify As Well As Handset Could Be Made To Do; But At Last, As Always Happens, The Machine Outdid The Hand, And Got All The Best Types On It.

A Fool's Brain Digests Philosophy Into Folly, Science Into Superstition, And Art Into Pedantry. Hence University Education.

No Question Is So Difficult To Answer As That To Which The Answer Is Obvious.

Questions And Answers

Problem Solving

Vivisection Is A Social Evil Because If It Advances Human Knowledge, It Does So At The Expense Of Human Character.

Life Levels All Men. Death Reveals The Eminent.

It Is Necessary For The Welfare Of Society That Genius Should Be Privileged To Utter Sedition, To Blaspheme, To Outrage Good Taste, To Corrupt The Youthful Mind, And Generally To Scandalize One's Uncles.

All Evolution In Thought And Conduct Must At First Appear As Heresy And Misconduct.

All Censorships Exist To Prevent Anyone From Challenging Current Conceptions And Existing Institutions.

Paradoxes Are The Only Truths.

A Moderately Honest Man With A Moderately Faithful Wife, Moderate Drinkers Both, In A Moderately Healthy House: That Is The True Middle Class Unit.

Why Not Give Christianity A Trial?

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It. They Spell It So Abominably That No Man Can Teach Himself What It Soundslike.it Isimpossible Foran Englishmanto Openhis Mouth Without Making Some Other Englishman Hate Or Despise Him.

When An Apparent Miracle Happened.it Proved Divine Mission To The Credulous, And Proved A Contract With The Devil To The Skeptical.

Nobody Can Live In Society Without Conventions. The Reason Why Sensible People Are As Conventional As They Can Bear To Be Is That Conventionality Saves So Much Time And Thought And Trouble And Social Friction Of One Sort Or Another That It Leaves Them Much More Leisure Time For Freedom Than Unconventionality Does.

All Great Truths Begin As Blasphemies.

Life Is A First Draft... With No Rewrite.

I've Posed Nude For A Photographer In The Manner Of Rodin's Thinker, But I Merely Looked Constipated.

All The Sweetness Of Religion Is Conveyed To The World By The Hands Of Storytellers And Image-makers. Without Their Fictions The Truths Of Religion Would For The Multitude Be Neither Intelligible Nor Even Apprehensible; And The Prophets Would Prophesy And The Teachers Teach In Vain.

Education Can And Should Do Much Influence Social, Moral And Intellectual Discovery By Stimulating Critical Attitudes Of Thought In The Young

The Philosopher Is Nature's Pilot.

The Whole World Is Strewn With Snares, Traps, Gins And Pitfalls For The Capture Of Men By Women.

As An Old Soldier, I Admit The Cowardice: It's As Universal As Seasickness, And Matters Just As Little.

Syllables Govern The World.

After All, The Wrong Road Always Leads Somewhere.

The Notion That Inspiration Is Something That Happened Thousands Of Years Ago, And Was Then Finished And Done With. . . The Theory That God Retired From Business At That Period And Has Not Been Heard From Since, Is As Silly As It Is Blasphemous.

Few People Think More Than Two Or Three Times A Year; I Have Made An International Reputation For Myself By Thinking Once Or Twice A Week.

Only In The Problem Play Is There Any Real Drama, Because Drama Is No Mere Setting Up Of The Camera To Nature: It Is The Presentation In Parable Of The Conflict Between Man's Will And His Environment: In A Word, Of Problem.

Morals Are A Luxury Of The Rich.

Our Prejudices Are So Deeply Rooted That We Never Think Of Them As Prejudices But Call Them Common Sense.

To Be In Hell Is To Drift; To Be In Heaven Is To Steer.

If Associations To Control Burglary And Murder Were Tolerated We Should Take It For Granted That The Members Should All Be Burglers And Murderers.

A Man's Own Self Is The Last Person To Believe In Him, And Is Harder To Cheat Than The Rest Of The World.

A True Artist Will Let His Wife Starve, His Children Go Barefoot, His Mother Drudge For His Living At Seventy, Sooner Than Work At Anything But His Art.

There Is Only One Universal Passion Fear.

A Love Affair Should Always Be A Honeymoon. And The Only Way To Make Sure Of That Is To Keep Changing The Man; For The Same Man Can Never Keep It Up.

The Unconscious Self Is The Real Genius. Your Breathing Goes Wrong The Moment Your Conscious Self Meddles With It.

Principles Without Programs Are Platitudes.

You're Only A Beginner; And What You Think Is Love, And Interest, And All That, Is Not Real Love At All: Three Quarters Of It Is Only Unsatisfied Curiosity.

It Is Said That Every People Has The Government It Deserves. It Is More To The Point That Every Government Has The Electorate It Deserves; For The Orator Of The Front Bench Can Edify Or Debauch An Ignorant Electorate At Will.

No Age Or Condition Is Without Its Heroes . The Least Incapable General In A Nation Is Its Cæsar, The Least Imbecile Statesman Its Solon , The Least Confused Thinker Its Socrates , The Least Commonplace Poet Its Shakespeare .

The Average Age (longevity) Of A Meat Eater Is 63. I Am On The Verge Of 85 And Still Work As Hard As Ever. I Have Lived Quite Long Enough And Am Trying To Die; But I Simply Cannot Do It. A Single Beef-steak Would Finish Me; But I Cannot Bring Myself To Swallow It. I Am Oppressed With A Dread Of Living Forever. That Is The Only Disadvantage Of Vegetarianism.

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