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"i Was Just Offered A Contract On Your Life, For Enough Money To Make It Worth My While." It Was My Turn To Be Quiet. "did You Take It?" "would I Be Calling You If I Had?" "maybe," I Said. He Laughed. "true, But I'm Not Going To Take It." "why Not?" "friendship." "try Again," I Said. "i Figure I'll Get To Kill More People Guarding You. If I Take The Contract, I Only Get To Kill You." "comforting."

-Laurell K. Hamilton

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"i Was Just Offered

Laurell K. Hamilton

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"i Was Just Offered A Contract On Your Life, For Enough Money To Make It Worth My While." It Was My Turn To Be Quiet. "did You Take It?" "would I Be Calling You If I Had?" "maybe," I Said. He Laughed. "true, But I'm Not Going To Take It." "why Not?" "friendship." "try Again," I Said. "i Figure I'll Get To Kill More People Guarding You. If I Take The Contract, I Only Get To Kill You." "comforting."

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Pretend Hard Enough And Maybe It Will Go Away.

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Very Few People See Their Own Actions As Truly Evil,... It Is Left To Their Victims To Decide What Is Evil And What Is Not.

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Oh, No, A Leopard Blew Up And Plastered Itself All Over Everything, But Hey, Animal Print Was In This Year.

Seventy Percent Of A First Draft Is Garbage And 30 Percent Is Gold, But You Have To Write 100 Percent To Get That 30.

There Comes A Point When You Just Love Someone. Not Because They're Good, Or Bad, Or Anything Really. You Just Love Them. It Doesn't Mean You'll Be Together Forever. It Doesn't Mean You Won't Hurt Each Other. It Just Mean You Love Them. Sometimes In Spite Of Who They Are, And Sometimes Because Of Who They Are. And You Know That They Love You, Sometimes Because Of Who You Are, And Sometimes In Spite Of It.

Who Is The Love Of My Life? Maybe I Don't Have One. Maybe It's Not Love At All. But If It's Not Love, Then What Is It? I Wish I Knew.

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But If Anything Will Turn Me Off, It's A Very Practiced Approach, As If The Man Has Done It A Thousand Times Before, To A Lot Of Different Women. Which Always Seems To Imply That I Am No Different From All The Rest. Not Flattering.

I Give Good Advice. I Do Not Always Take It.

That's What You Get For Telling The Truth. Someone Calls You A Liar. Most People Will Accept A Likely Lie To An Unlikely Truth. In Fact, They Prefer It.

Still It Might Be Nice, Once In A While, Not To Have To Choose Between Evils. Just Once, Couldn't I Choose The Lesser Good?

Morals Aren't Just For When It's Easy, Anita. They Aren't Morals If You Throw Them Aside Every Time It's Convenient.

I Wanted To Say Something Brilliant. My God, Holmes, How Did You Know The Zombie Was Hiding In The Flower Pot? But I Couldn't Lie.

Ma Petite Is Not A Subtle Woman. Unless You Say It, She Will Not Understand It.

She Was Just That Shiver That Makes You Walk Faster At Night. You Don't Know Why You Do It, But Some Part Of You Remembers That The Dark Is Never Really Empty. ~anita

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Feelings Are Never Stupid, They Just Make Us Feel Stupid Sometimes.

Neither Love Nor Evil Conquers All, But Evil Cheats More.

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Sometimes You Deal With The Devil Not Because You Want To, But Because If You Don't, Someone Else Will.

Since You Won't Give Me Your Names I'll Call You Thing One And Thing Two.

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Who Would Have Ever Thought I'd Be Afraid Of A Zombie, Any Kind Of Zombie? Nicely Ironic That.

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I Cannot Say How Strongly I Object To People Using Other People's Writing As Research. Research Is Non-fiction, Especially For Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction. Do Not Take Your Research From Other People's Fiction. Just Don't.

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Nothing Turns To Hate So Bitter As What Once Was Love.

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If You Think Love Makes You Happy, You've Either Never Been In Love, Or Never Been In Love Long Enough To Have To Start Compromising.

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Nicky Looked Down At Me With A Knowledge On His Face That He Was Holding The Monster In His Arms. I'd Have Comforted Him, But It Would Have Been All Lies.

Sometimes It Would Be Nice Not To Have To Do My Best. Sometimes It Would Just Be Nice Not To Have A Crisis To Deal With. - Anita Blake

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Who Hit You?" "why, So You Can Go Beat Him Up?" "one Of The Fringe Benefits Of Being My Human Servant Is My Protection." "i Don't Need Your Protection, Jean-claude." "he Hurt You." "and I Shoved A Gun Into His Groin And Made Him Tell Me Everything He Knew," I Said.

If You're Dressed For My Funeral, It's Too Casual. If It's Just Street Clothes, Then You Must Be Scaring The Tourists.

Sex Is Like Crying, It Does Look Pretty If You Really Do It

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Love Sucks. Sometimes It Feels Good. Sometimes It's Just Another Way To Bleed.

There's No One So Self-righteous As Someone Policing Someone Else's Morality.

Rafael, The Rat King, Stared At The Carnage With Black-button Eyes. "she Is Dead." "ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead.

Nothing Is Certain, Ma Petite, Not Even Death." - Jean-claude

I Spend Most Of My Waking Hours Confronting And Destroying Things That I Fear. A Thousand-year-old Master Vampire Was A Tall Order, But A Girl's Got To Have A Goal.

The Only Good Enemy Is A Dead Enemy.

Heroes Don't Get Anything But Dead.

If They Cheat, Can I Shoot Them?

Only Love Of A Good Woman Will Make A Man Question Every Choice, Every Action. Only Love Makes A Warrior Hesitate For Fear That His Lady Will Find Him Cruel. Only Love Makes A Man Both The Best He Will Ever Be, And The Weakest. Sometimes All In The Same Moment. -wicked

If You Can't Impress Yourself, Then No One Else Really Matters.

Because Everything Worth Having Hurts.

All Men Love To Talk About Themselves, Even The Ones Who Are Completely Buggers.

Remember Your Personal Demons Should Be Afraid Of You, Because You Are Their Home, Their Food, And As You Heal, Their Executioner.

Vampires Were Always Either Trying To Kill Me, Or Own Me. God I Hated Being Popular.

A Certain Type Of Man, When He Loves For The First Time, His Love Is Not Really Love, It Is Possession. Possessions Don't Have Rights Or Feelings; They Are Something To Owned And Controlled. He Had Spent More Than A Year Trying To Do Just That, And Failing.

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Stupidity Isn't Punishable By Death. If It Was, There Would Be A Hell Of A Population Drop.

A Flower May Be Beautiful All On Its Own, But A Person Is Never Truly Beautiful Unless Someone's Eyes Show Him That He Is Beautiful.

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Important Safety Tip - Never Look A Vampire In The Eye.

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You Ask Yourself "what Is Love? Am I In Love?", When What You Should Be Asking Is, "what Is Not Love?", Ma Petite. What Is It That This Man Does For You That Is Not Done Out Of Love?

Sometimes It's Not The Optimist You Need, But Another Pessimist To Walk Beside You.

I Turned Down Halloween Parties Every Year, Where People Wanted Zombies Raised At The Stroke Of Midnight Or Some Such Nonsense. The Scarier My Reputation Got, The More People Wanted Me To Come Be Scary For Them. I'd Told Bert I Could Always Go And Threaten To Shoot All The Partygoers, That'd Be Scary. Bert Had Not Been Amused. But He Had Stopped Asking Me To Do Parties.

Trust Me, Anita, If You Get Dead, Especially If He Blames Himself In Any Way, He Will Be A Force Of Destruction Looking For A Place To Be Aimed. And He's Blamed Himself For Introducing You To Olaf Here From The Get-go. If Olaf Did To You What He's Done To Some Of His Other Victims, Edward Would Drown The World In Blood To Erase Those Images.

Zebrowski Says That If You Killed Someone Else Just Hide The Body, He's Not Starting Over On The Paperwork.

Self-doubt Is A Self-fulfilling Prophecy.

I'm Learning That You Have To Make Time For What's Important. You Have To Fight To Carve Little Pieces Of Happiness Out Of Your Life, Or The Everyday Emergencies Will Eat Up Everything.

Everything I Needed Was In My Car, Even The Chickens

Here's The Secret To Finishing That First Book. Don't Rewrite As You Go.

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