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I Used To Refer To My Drug Use As Putting The Monster In The Box. I Wanted To Be Less, So I Took More - Simple As That. Anyway, I Eventually Decided That The Reason Dr. Stone Had Told Me I Was Hypomanic Was That He Wanted To Put Me On Medication Instead Of Actually Treating Me. So I Did The Only Rational Thing I Could Do In The Face Of Such As Insult - I Stopped Talking To Stone, Flew Back To New York, And Married Paul Simon A Week Later.

-Carrie Fisher

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I Used To Refer

Carrie Fisher

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I Used To Refer To My Drug Use As Putting The Monster In The Box. I Wanted To Be Less, So I Took More - Simple As That. Anyway, I Eventually Decided That The Reason Dr. Stone Had Told Me I Was Hypomanic Was That He Wanted To Put Me On Medication Instead Of Actually Treating Me. So I Did The Only Rational Thing I Could Do In The Face Of Such As Insult - I Stopped Talking To Stone, Flew Back To New York, And Married Paul Simon A Week Later.

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Your Innermost Urges Will Tell You What Strategy To Employ To Accomplish Your Special Purpose While Doing The Work You Enjoy.

Sometimes You Can Only Find Heaven By Slowly Backing Away From Hell.

Don't You See? We've Become Smart Enough To Justify Stupid Behavior. Like, 'i'm Angry At Him And I Didn't Express It, So I Turned My Anger Inward And Now It's Depression, So In Order To Feel Good Again, What I Should Do Is Call Him And Express My Anger.' It's Like, If We Can Make It Sound Smart Enough, We're Allowed To Do Stupid Things.

I Did Masses Of Opiates Religiously.

I've Got To Stop Getting Obsessed With Human Beings And Fall In Love With A Chair. Chairs Have Everything Human Beings Have To Offer, And Less, Which Is Obviously What I Need. Less Emotional Feedback, Less Warmth, Less Approval, Less Patience And Less Response. The Less The Merrier. Chairs It Is. I Must Furnish My Heart With Feelings For Furniture.

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It Creates Community When You Talk About Private Things And You Can Find Other People That Have The Same Things. Otherwise, I Don't Know, I Felt Very Lonely With Some Of The Issues That I Had Or History That I Had. And When I Shared About It, I Found That Others Had It, Too.

I Enjoy Taking Jobs That Make Fun Of Me - Or Me As Princess Leia, Or Me As The Writer, Or Whatever, As Some Idea.

No, As It Turns Out, I Really Like Being Congratulated On My Weight Loss. I Like It So Much, It's Tragic.

I Guess I Do Carry A Bit Of Male Energy. It's Like What I Always Say - Two Yangs Don't Make A Right.

Finding The Cutest Guy In A.a. Is Like Finding The Cutest Loony In The Bin.

When My Brother, Todd [fisher], Was Born My Father Was Already With Elizabeth [taylor]. I Was 19 Or 20 When I First Spent A Block Of Time With Him.

I Have A Second Dog, Too, Mainly For Security.

And When You're Young You Want To Fit In. Hell, I Still Want To Fit In With Certain Humans, But As You Get Older You Get A Little More Discriminating.

I Probably Have More Male Friends That Talk About Us In A Way That Doesn't Thrill Me. I Sometimes Get A Bit Surprised When Females Talk Like That Around Men.

Resentment Is Like Drinking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die.

I Always Felt The Jewish Part More. In Fact, Growing Up I Felt Like A Jew Among Wasps. My Brother Is More Decidedly Waspy.

Never Love For Me, Only Obsession.

I Was Born Imagining Myself With An Apron On, With Pies Cooling On The Window Sill And Babies Crying Upstairs. I Thought That All That Stuff Would Somehow Anchor Me To The Planet, That It Was The Weight I Needed To Keep From Just Flying Off Into Space.

Drugs Made Me Feel More Normal.

I Love The Idea Of God, But It's Not Stylistically In Keeping With The Way I Function. I Would Describe Myself As An Enthusiastic Agnostic Who Would Be Happy To Be Shown That There Is A God. I Can See That People Who Believe In God Are Happier. ... But I Doubt.

You Know How They Say That Religion Is The Opiate Of The Masses? Well I Took Masses Of Opiates Religiously.

Never Love For Me, Only Obsession. Someone Has To Stand Still For You To Love Them. My Choices Are Always On The Run.

I Never Really Saw [my Father] At All When I Was Growing Up.

[when Harry Met Sally] Was Fine, But It Was A Job. And I Did It Right After The 'burbs.

I Think I Do Overshare, And I Sometimes Marvel That I Do It. But It's Sort Of - In A Way, It's My Way Of Trying To Understand Myself.

If Talking Were Aerobic, I'd Be The Thinnest Person In The World.

I Like The Community Of Acting Better Than The Prison Of Writing. I Like Sets.

All I Can Say Is That When Millions Of Plastic Dolls Of You Are Being Sold Each Day And An Equal Number Of Teenage Boys Are Masturbating Over You Each Night, It's Bound To Do Something Screwy To Your Psyche.

Leia Follows Me Like A Vague Smell.

This Actress Named Lisa Eilbacher. I Was Up For The Part In Shampoo And Friends Of Mine Kept Telling Me She Was Going Around Saying All These Bad Things About Me. It's Like We're Still In The Sixth Grade Sometimes.

Sometimes I Feel Like I've Got My Nose Pressed Up Against The Window Of A Bakery, Only I'm The Bread.

I Am A Very Discreet Human When It Comes To Other People.

Two Of The Saddest Words In The English Language Are, 'what Party?' And La Is The 'what Party?' Capital Of The World.

I Don't Want To Be A Victim.

For Star Wars, They Had Me Tape Down My Breasts Because There Are No Breasts In Space. I Have Some. I Have Two.

There Are Two Things That I Know For Certain Guys Are Good For: Pushing Swings And Killing Insects.

My Mother Had An Amazing Life, And She's Someone To Admire.

I Can't Say That Period Talk Is My Favorite Bonding Arena. But I Also Think It's Sort Of Funny.

Actors May Know How To Act, But A Lot Of Them Don't Know How To Behave.

I Always Think Of Meryl [streep] For Everything Now. There Really Aren't Many Actresses Around Who Are Truly Lucid The Way She Is.

Me Being An Actor Was An Accident, And Not Something I Wanted To Do, Because I Knew What Happened Eventually. Yeah, Maybe You'd Get Famous, But Then You Wouldn't Be Famous Anymore. Then You'd Have To Scramble To Get Back To Where You Were, And Chances Are, You Wouldn't.

Meryl [streep] Plays The Me-ish Character. I Love Meryl. She's Totally Wonderful.

I Was Into Pain Reduction And Mind Expansion, But What I've Ended Up With Is Pain Expansion And Mind Reduction.

It's Very Good To Get Through Them (drugs) While You're Still Young And Then Talk About How Great Or Bad It Was For The Rest Of Your Life.

Rest Of Your Life

I'm The Wife Spike Lee Deserves. A White Woman, Which He Says He Would Never Be With, So Let's Get Someone Really White. I Am Spike Lee's Wife From Hell. I'm White And Weird And I Won't Pay Enough Attention To Him. If He Does Any More Of Those Angry Interviews, I'm Going To Write Him And See If He Wants The Wife He Deserves.

Saying You're An Alcoholic And An Addict Is Like Saying You're From Los Angeles And From California.

I Think That The Truth Is A Really Stern Taskmistress.

My Father Was A Joyous, Joyous Spirit, He Really Was. He Was A Hedonist, That Was Just - He Enjoyed Life, Thrust Up To The Elbows With It. He Was A Terrible Father. I Don't Know That He Was Parented That Well.

I Feel So Agitated All The Time, Like A Hamster In Search Of A Wheel.

Life Is A Cruel, Horrible Joke And I Am The Punch Line.

My Heart's In The Right Place. I Know, 'cuz I Hid It There.

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No Motive Is Pure. No One Is Good Or Bad-but A Hearty Mix Of Both. And Sometimes Life Actually Gives To You By Taking Away.

I Don't Do Acid Anymore, So I Travel Instead.

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I'm Fond Of Kissing. It's Part Of My Job. God Sent Me Down To Kiss A Lot Of People.

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I Went To A Doctor And Told Him I Felt Normal On Acid, That I Was A Light Bulb In A World Of Moths. That Is What The Manic State Is Like.

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My Favorite One To See Is The Metal Bikini On Men.

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We Live In America,' He Said. 'everyone Who Speaks English Understands You. How They Interpret You Is Something Else.

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From Here On Out, There's Just Reality. I Think That's What Maturity Is: A Stoic Response To Endless Reality. But Then, What Do I Know?

You Have To Constantly Arrange Yourself Around Them, And That Can Take Up A Lot Of Energy. I Mean, You Don't Go, "why Don't You Cook Dinner Tonight, Dear, For A Change, Instead Of Writing A Great Song?" I Loved What [paul Simon] Did With Words. But I Wanted To Do Some More Of That, Too.

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I Hate Caviar. Ugh! The Freebase Of Food!

You Can't Find Any True Closeness In Hollywood, Because Everybody Does The Fake Closeness So Well.

I Don't Want To Be Caught ... Ashamed Of Anything. And Because Generally Someone Who Has Bipolar Doesn't Have Just Bipolar, They Have Bipolar, And They Have A Life And A Job And A Kid And A Hat And Parents, So Its Not Your Overriding Identity, It's Just Something That You Have, But Not The Only Thing - Even If It's Quite A Big Thing.

I Think That Now Most People Know Someone In Their Family That Is Coping With Something, But There Is Still A Tremendous Amount Of Shame - That One Is Still Regarded As A Defective Unit ... If Only They Would Pull Up Their Bootstraps - They Are Only Indulging Their Emotions, Everybody's Moody, Blah, Blah, Blah.

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My Extroversion Is A Way Of Managing My Introversion.

I'll Never Be Known For My Work With Boundaries.

Anything You Can Do In Excess For The Wrong Reasons Is Exciting To Me.

I Like That - The "you-ish" Character.

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I'm Very Sane About How Crazy I Am.

I Spent A Year In A 12-step Program, Really Committed, Because I Could Not Believe What Had Happened - That I Might Have Killed Myself.

Sex Was For Men. Marriage, Like Lifeboats, Was For Women And Children.

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I Was Born Into Big Celebrity. It Could Only Diminish.

I Don't Really Understand It - Marriage.

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My Mom Had The Breakdown For The Family, And I Went Into Therapy For All Of Us.

A Lot Of People Have Told Me, You Know, That What I've Written About, They Identify With Strongly.

I Don't Know About Understood. I Think That Unless You Are Forced To Understand - Unless It Is An Issue Of Yours - You Wouldn't Bother To.

I Had To Shoot Shotguns For The Blues Brothers. But I Don't Like That Stuff. Too Butch For Me.

My Inner World Seems Largely To Consist Of Three Rotating Emotions: Embarrassment, Rage, And Tension. Sometimes I Feel Excited, But I Think That's Just Positive Tension.

One Of The Great Things To Pretend Is That You're Not Only Alright, You're In Great Shape. Now To Have That Come True - I've Actually Gone On Stage Depressed And That's Worked Its Magic On Me, 'cause If I Can Convince You That I'm Alright, Then Maybe I Can Convince Me.

Celebrity Is Just Obscurity Biding Its Time.

Running For Office Is The Least Aerobic Of The Socially Interactive Sports.

If Some Gang Were Threatening Your Family, You'd Go Looking For Someone Butch To Help, Right? Any Maybe If Your Mother Were Sick Or Something, You'd Find Someone A Bit More Fey.

I Have A Chemical Imbalance That, In Its Most Extreme State, Will Lead Me To A Mental Hospital.

Believe Me, I Didn't Think There Was Some Princely Family I Belonged To.

I Can Like Men Who Are A Little Light In The Loafers.

My Mother's Career Was Over At 40 But She Was Still Trying To Be Everyone's Buddy, Always Smiling For The Cameras.

There Are Women In Makeup And Hair And Wardrobe, But Not In Camera, Not In Sound, You Know, And Not In Special Effects. It's All Men.

A Lot Of The Time, I'm Just Smart Enough To Be Unhappy.

I Think Of My Body As A Side Effect Of My Mind. Like A Thought I Had Once That Manifested Itself-- Oops! Oh No! Manifested. Look At This. Now We Have To Buy Clothes And Everything.

What Doesn't Kill Men Makes Them Stronger. What Doesn't Kill Women Makes Men Breakfast.

I Am Someone Who Will Rise To An Occasion Like That. Other Occasions Can Defeat Me.

My Mother Certainly Loves Caviar, But I Think That's Generational - They Grew Up Thinking It's Romantic Or Sophisticated Or Something.

It's Hard To Date Once You're A Big Star Wars Star Because You Don't Want To Give People The Ability To Say, "i Had Sex With Princess Leia."

Mania Starts Off Fun, Not Sleeping For Days, Keeping Company With Your Brain, Which Has Become A Wonderful Computer, Showing 24 Tv Channels All About You. That Goes Horribly Wrong After Awhile.

I Was Street Smart, But Unfortunately The Street Was Rodeo Drive.

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The Only Thing Worse Than Being Hurt Is Everyone Knowing That You're Hurt.

Females Get Hired Along Procreative Lines. After 40, We're Kind Of Cooked.

The Trouble With Getting Introspective When You're Pregnant Is That You Never Know Who You Might Run Into.

Sid Said That Drugs Weren't The Problem, Life Was The Problem. Drugs Were The Solution.

I Did The Traditional Thing With Falling In Love With Words, Reading Books And Underlining Lines I Liked And Words I Didn't Know. It Was Something I Always Did.

Falling In Love

Oh! This'll Impress You - I'm Actually In The Abnormal Psychology Textbook. Obviously My Family Is So Proud. Keep In Mind Though, I'm A Pez Dispenser And I'm In The Abnormal Psychology Textbook. Who Says You Can't Have It All?

My Mom Is A Little Bit Eccentric. I Mean, She Does - She Has A Lot Of Unique Ideas. For Example, She Thought That I Should Have A Child With Her Last Husband, Richard, Because It Would Have Nice Eyes.

I Don't Think 50-50 Relationships Exist. Men Have An Incredibly Variety Of Options. It's Much Harder For A Woman To Do Both Things. I Think Traditional Relationships Work Best.

I Guess High Verbal Skills Are Highest In My List Of Necessary Qualifications For A Man - For Anyone Actually. I Like To Talk. And I Don't Necessarily Move Far, But I Move Fast.

Guys Are Great Before You Know Who They Are,' Said Lucy. 'they're Great When You're Still With Who They Might Be.

My Life Is Like A Lone, Forgotten Q-tip In The Second-to-last Drawer.

You Know The Bad Thing About Being A Survivor... You Keep Having To Get Into Difficult Situations In Order To Show Off Your Gift.

Difficult Situations

I Envy People Who Have The Capacity To Sit With Another Human Being And Find Them Endlessly Interesting, I Would Rather Watch Tv. Of Course This Becomes Eventually Known To The Other Person.

I Got The Part [in The Shampoo]. But It Was This Very Unpleasantly Rivalry Tug.

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All I Know Is That You Can Chop Up All The Onions And The Whatevers You Want And Put It On Top Of Caviar, But You Still Can't Disguise The Fact That You're Eating Fish Eggs. Ugh!

I Mean, Most Fun Things Are Bad For You In One Way Or Another.

You're Not Surprised When Alcoholics Act Like Alcoholics. It's More Surprising When Non-alcoholics Start Acting Like Alcoholics.

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Difficult Situations

A Lot Of Times, People Think They're The Only Ones That Feel A Certain Way.

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Part Of My Gestalt Is That I Still Feel A Little Bit Like A Wallflower. Even In My Own Life. I Talk About Myself Behind My Back.

I Just Admire My Mother Very Much.

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I Do Believe You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets.

Eventually, Life Of The Party Is Just Like Any Other Job. I've Thought Of Myself That Way At Times, But It's Sort Of Like Holding Everybody Hostage. It Diminishes Everyone Else. And Ultimately, Your Friends Don't Require It Of You.

I Really Love The Internet. They Say Chat-rooms Are The Trailer Park Of The Internet But I Find It Amazing.

What Worries Me Is, What If This Guy Is Really The One For Me And I Just Haven't Had Enough Therapy Yet For Me To Be Comfortable With Having Found Him.

If My Life Wasn't Funny It Would Just Be True, And That Is Unacceptable.

In The Fifties, My Parents Were Known As 'america's Sweethearts'. Their Pictures Graced The Covers Of All The Newspapers. They Were The Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston Of Their Day.

The World Of Manic Depression Is A World Of Bad Judgment Calls.

Manic Depression

I Am Not Going To Put My Daughter Under Any Sort Of Stresses.

I Have A Mess In My Head Sometimes, And There's Something Very Satisfying About Putting It Into Words. Certainly It's Not Something That You're In Charge Of, Necessarily, But Writing About It, Putting It Into Your Words, Can Be A Very Powerful Experience.

Good Anecdote--bad Reality.

You Know How I Always Seem To Be Struggling, Even When The Situation Doesn't Call For It?

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I Like Performing. I Like Partnering With An Audience.

Revenge May Not Be A Particularly High Consciousness-oriented Activity.

I Grew Up Knowing That I Had The Prettiest Mother Of Anyone In My Class.

There Are Very Few Women From My Mother's Generation Who Worked Like That, Who Just Kept A Career Going All Her Life And Raised Children And Had Horrible Relationships And Lost All Her Money And Got It Back Again.

I Would Rather Not Watch Myself In Movies. I Enjoy The Experience, But I Won't Really See The Film Until They're On Cable Deep On Into My Life So I Can Pretend It's Someone Else At Another Time.

Of Course I Miss [drugs]. And Anyone Who Tells You They Don't Is Lying.

Now It's Dedicated To My Grandparents And To Both Of My Parents. The First Book Was Dedicated To My Mother So I Thought Maybe It Was My Father's Turn, But Then I Realized That Everyone Would Jump On That And Assume I'd Had Some Falling Out With My Mother, Which Is Absolutely Not The Case.

The Older You Get, The Easier It Is To Spot The Phonies. And I Just Think, How Unpleasant For Them.

Then I Overdosed At 28, At Which Point I Began To Accept The Bipolar Diagnosis.

I'd Like To Wear My Old [cinnamon Buns] Hairstyle Again - But With White Hair. I Think That Would Be Funny.

I Don't Think Christmas Is Necessarily About Things. It's About Being Good To One Another, It's About The Christian Ethic, It's About Kindness.

I Found Out When I Did The Oprah Winfrey Show That There Was A Cookie Jar Of Me. So She Gave It To Me. I Had No Idea Prior To That That It Even Existed.

It Creates Community When You Talk About Private Things And You Can Find Other People That Have The Same Things.

Everything Is Negotiable. Whether Or Not The Negotiation Is Easy Is Another Thing.

If You're Manic-depressive And You're Functioning In This World And Doing It All Well, I Think, Wow, You Should Be Proud Of Being Able To Say, This Is What I'm Getting Through Right Now.

I Used To Want To Gamble, Too, Until I Was 20 And Could Actually Go To A Casino. Then I Wasn't So Crazy About The Attitude.

I Mean, That's At Least In Part Why I Ingested Chemical Waste - It Was A Kind Of Desire To Abbreviate Myself. To Present The Cliffnotes Of The Emotional Me, As Opposed To The Twelve-column Read.

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