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I Used To Be A Catholic. I Left Because I Object To Conversion By Concussion. If You Don't Agree With What They Teach, You Get Clobbered Over The Head Until You Do. All That Does Is Change The Shape Of The Head.

-Alan Alda

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I Used To Be

Alan Alda

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I Used To Be A Catholic. I Left Because I Object To Conversion By Concussion. If You Don't Agree With What They Teach, You Get Clobbered Over The Head Until You Do. All That Does Is Change The Shape Of The Head.

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Life Is Meaningless Unless You Bring Meaning To It; ... It Is Up To Us To Create Our Own Existence. Unless You Do Something, Unless You Make Something It's As Though You Aren't There.

I've Sat Looking Down Into A Volcano That Could Blow At Any Moment; I've Helped Catch A Shark And Several Rattlesnakes; I Let A Tarantula Walk Across My Hand, And I Ate Rat Soup.

Don't Be Upset That It Takes A Long, Long Time To Find Wisdom Because Nobody Knows Where Wisdom Can Be Found. It Tends To Break Out At Unexpected Times Like A Rare Virus And Mostly People With Compassion And Understanding Are Susceptible To It.

Republicans Are As Capable Of Coming Up With Great Ideas And Moving This Country Along As Anyone - They Just Don't Do It.

My Mother Didn't Try To Stab My Father Until I Was Six, But She Must Have Shown Signs Of Oddness Before That.

When I Studied How To Think In School, I Was Taught That The First Rule Of Logic Was That A Thing Cannot Both Be And Not Be At The Same Time And In The Same Respect. That Last Note, “in The Same Respect,” Says A Lot. As Soon As You Change The Frame Of Reference, You’ve Changed The Truthiness Of A Once Immutable Fact.

I Found I Wasn't Asking Good Enough Questions Because I Assumed I Knew Something.

I'm In The Real World, Some People Try To Steal From Me, And I Stop Them, Frequently, Take Them To Court. I Love A Good Lawsuit. It's Fun.

No Man Or Woman Of The Humblest Sort Can Really Be Strong, Gentle And Good, Without The World Being Better For It, Without Somebody Being Helped And Comforted By The Very Existence Of That Goodness.

Everybody's On Their Toes And Focused On What We're About To Do, And Then There's This Moment Where You Relax Because You See That Everybody Is There To Do The Best That They Can. Everyone Opens Up To One Another Right Away. That's A Terrific Thing. I Love That About Actors. They Know How Personal This Job Is.

I've Been Lucky Enough To Live Through All The Things That Are Supposed To Give Meaning To Our Lives, Like Parenting, Grandparenting, Art, Celebrity. All These Things You Expect Meaning To Come From, And Sometimes It Comes When You're Not Expecting It.

Life Is Great-i Wouldn't Know What I'd Do Without It.

If You Know What You're Looking For, That's All You'll Get - What's Previously Known. But When You're Open To What's Possible, You Get Something New - That's Creativity.

I've Never Tried To Manipulate My Image.

What I Always Wanted To Get Seen As Was As A Good Actor, When It Was The Acting I Was Doing. When I'm Writing, I Want To Try To Be Seen As A Good Writer.

I'll Carry On, Carry Over, Carry Forward, Cary Grant, Cash And Carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll Even 'hari-kari' If You Show Me How, But I Will Not Carry A Gun!

Awards Can Give You A Tremendous Amount Of Encouragement To Keep Getting Better, No Matter How Young Or Old You Are.

Originality Is Unexplored Territory. You Get There By Carrying A Canoe - You Can't Take A Taxi.

Be Brave Enough To Live Life Creatively. The Creative Place Where No One Else Has Ever Been.

As I Am Becoming Older, The Only Thing That Speeds Up Is Time.

When Does She Do All This Thinking? We're Together All The Time But She Thinks Deeply About Things And With Feeling And She Can Remember The Facts. We've Been Married 48 Years.

Jean Paul Sartre Says In "no Exit" That Hell Is Other People. Well, Our Task In Life Is To Make It Heaven. Or At Least Earth.

I Try To Find Out What There Is In The Character That In A Way, You Can't Put Into Words. If I Could Put It Into Words, Then It Wouldn't Be A Performance. And If I Do Put It Into Words, As I Play It, I Start To Get Boxed In By Those Words.

When I Started Out As An Actor, I Thought, Here's What I Have To Say; How Shall I Say It? I Began To Understand That What I Do In The Scene Is Not As Important As What Happens Between Me And The Other Person. And Listening Is What Lets It Happen. It's Almost Always The Other Person Who Causes You To Say What You Say Next. You Don't Have To Figure Out How You'll Say It. You Have To Listen So Simply, So Innocently, That The Other Person Brings About A Change In You That Makes You Say It And Informs The Way You Say It.

Kids Are Natural Scientists.

It Isn't Necessary To Be Rich And Famous To Be Happy. It's Only Necessary To Be Rich.

In The Midst Of The Sense Of Tragedy Or Loss, Sometimes Laughter Is Not Only Healing, It's A Way Of Experiencing The Person That You've Lost Again.

I Used To Be A Catholic. I Left Because I Object To Conversion By Concussion. If You Don't Agree With What They Teach, You Get Clobbered Over The Head Until You Do. All That Does Is Change The Shape Of The Head.

I'm Very Interested In The Improvisation Because One Of The Things I Do Is To Help Train Scientists To Communicate In A Better Way And More Personal Way When They're Making A Presentation, And I Use Improvisation To Do That.

I Really Don't Like Plays Or Movies That Service Propaganda.

What Then Are Doing If Not Creating A Better Place Together? I Think, For Me The Key Has To Be, What Do I Want To Create? What Is It I Want To Leave Behind?

I Play Tennis Non-obsessively. I Seem To Beat People I Play A Lot Or Half The Time, So I Guess I Gravitate To People Who Are As Bad As I Am.

I Had Never Really Wanted To Be Famous. Everyone Is Supposed To Want To Be Rich And Famous, But As A Boy I Never Knew What Rich Was, And The First View I Had Of Famous Made Me Leery.

If I Can't Get The Girl, At Least Give Me More Money.

You Can't Get There By Bus, Only By Hard Work And Risk And By Not Quite Knowing What You're Doing. What You'll Discover Will Be Wonderful. What You'll Discover Will Be Yourself.

I Wouldn't Live In California. All That Sun Makes You Sterile.

The One Hour Live Debate In The West Wing That We Did Was One Of The Most Exciting Times For Me On Stage Or On Camera, Because Anything Could Go Wrong.

Musicals Are Hard For Me Because I Got Thrown Out Of The Glee Club In High School, Because I Couldn't Sing In Tune At The Time. I Can Sing In Tune Now, But I Have To Work Really Hard On It To Make Sure That I Don't Exercise One Of My Great Talents, Which Is The Ability To Sing In Three Keys At The Same Time.

Real Listening Is A Willingness To Let The Other Person Change You.

Artists Try To Say Things That Can't Be Said. In A Fragile Net Of Words, Gestures, Or Colors, We Hope To Capture A Feeling; A Taste; A Painful Longing. But The Net Is Always Too Porous, And We Are Left With The Sweet Frustration Of Almost Knowing, Which Is Teasingly Pleasurable.

If You Don't Listen Deeply, The Connection Won't Take Place.... [you Have To Be] Willing To Be Changed By The Person You're Listening To, Where You're Not Just Waiting For A Pause So You Can Say Your Thing, But You're Actually Letting Them Have An Effect On You If They Can.

Laugh At Yourself, But Don't Ever Aim Your Doubt At Yourself.

I Don't Really Worry About The Size Of The Part Much Any More. It's Nice To Have More Time To Work On The Character, And To Have Big Scenes To Play. But If There's Something Playable There, And If It's Interesting To Do, Then That's Nice.

Being Mystified Is A Good Beginning, Because You Won't Do What You've Done Before.

For Humans, Flying Isn't Magic, It's Physics.

The Difference Between Listening And Pretending To Listen, I Discovered, Is Enormous. One Is Fluid, The Other Is Rigid. One Is Alive, The Other Is Stuffed. Eventually, I Found A Radical Way Of Thinking About Listening. Real Listening Is A Willingness To Let The Other Person Change You. When I’m Willing To Let Them Change Me, Something Happens Between Us That’s More Interesting Than A Pair Of Dueling Monologues.

I've Been Nominated Twice Before As Actor In A Leading Part. Now I'm Nominated As Actor In A Supporting Part. If I Don't Win, I'll Just Wait Until I'm Nominated For Being In The Theater During The Show. Do They Have One Like That?

Your Assumptions Are Your Windows On The World. Scrub Them Off Every Once In A While Or The Light Won't Come In. If You Challenge Your Own, You Won't Be So Quick To Accept The Unchallenged Assumptions Of Others. You'll Be A Lot Less Likely To Be Caught Up In Bias Or Prejudice Or Be Influenced By People Who Ask You To Hand Over Your Brains, Your Soul Or Your Money Because They Have Everything All Figured Out For You.

People Who Laugh Together Generally Don't Kill Each Other.

Positive Thinking

Positive Attitude

I Was A Child, And My Mother Was Psychotic. She Loved Me, But I Didn't Really Feel I Had A Mother. And When You Live With Somebody Who Is Paranoid And Thinks You're Trying To Kill Them All The Time, You Tend To Feel A Little Betrayed.

Testosterone Poisoning: … Until Now It Has Been Thought That The Level Of Testosterone In Men Is Normal Simply Because They Have It. But If You Consider How Abnormal Their Behavior Is, Then You Are Led To The Hypothesis That Almost All Men Are Suffering From ‘testosterone Poisoning.’

Laugh At Yourself, But Don't Ever Aim Your Doubt At Yourself. Be Bold. When You Embark For Strange Places, Don't Leave Any Of Yourself Safely On Shore. Have The Nerve To Go Into Unexplored Territory.

War Is War And Hell Is Hell, And If You Ask Me, War Is A Lot Worse.

I've Played A Murderer, So Certainly I Think I Can Play A Republican.

Here's My Golden Rule For A Tarnished Age: Be Fair With Others, But Keep After Them Until They're Fair With You.

There's Plenty Of Money To Be Had. But You Also Lose Your Soul.

I Was Brought Up As A Catholic, And I'm No Longer A Catholic. I Don't Talk About My Beliefs Too Much In Public Probably Because I Feel Very Strongly That It's Something Personal - More Than Personal, It's Private.

Insanity Is Just A State Of Mind.

When People Are Laughing, They're Generally Not Killing One Another.

It's Really Clear To Me That You Can't Hang Onto Something Longer Than Its Time. Ideas Lose Certain Freshness, Ideas Have A Shelf Life, And Sometimes They Have To Be Replaced By Other Ideas.

In 2003, I Almost Died Of An Intestinal Blockage When I Was On A Mountain In Chile, Filming A Segment For 'scientific American Frontiers.'

After A While I Started To Think Of That As An Image Of Something That Went A Lot Deeper Than The Dead Dog, Which Is You Can't Bring Back Anything To Life.

I'm Most At Home On The Stage. I Was Carried Onstage For The First Time When I Was Six Months Old.

I'm An Angry Person, Angrier Than Most People Would Imagine, I Get Flashes Of Anger. What Works For Me Is Working Out When It's Useful To Use That Anger.

We're Highly Social Animals - I'm Told By Scientists That What Makes Us Different From Other Animals Is An Acute Social Awareness, Which Is What Has Made Us So Successful.

My Relationship With Science Is As Someone Who's Curious And Hungry To Know, Hungry To Understand. So All I Have To Offer Is My Ignorance And My Curiosity, Which Is A Good Combination, As Long As They Come Together.

Listening Is Being Able To Be Changed By The Other Person.

I Have Thought About Punching People Out. Sometimes, I've Thought, 'why Don't I Just Act On That Impulse?' But Then, I've Never Hit Anybody In Anger. Hey! I've Never Hit Anybody For Fun.

A Really Great Actor, In A Lucky Performance, Can Transform Himself Or Herself. I've Seen Actors Do That. But Often It's A Mechanical Transformation, Which Isn't As Interesting, And You've Got To Be Careful How You Go About Something Like That, I Think.

Nothing Important Was Ever Accomplished Without Chutzpah. Columbus Had Chutzpah. The Signers Of The Declaration Of Independence Had Chutzpah. Don't Ever Aim Doubt At Yourself. Laugh At Yourself, But Don't Doubt Yourself.

I Found I Wasn't Asking Good Enough Questions Because I Assumed I Knew Something. I Would Box Them Into A Corner With A Badly Formed Question, And They Didn't Know How To Get Out Of It. Now, I Let Them Take Me Through It Step By Step, And I Listen.

What I Can't Completely Understand Is Most Other People's Fascination With What The Famous Among Us Do With Their Lips And The Rest Of Their Bodies. Why Do Ordinary People Become The Target Of This Curiosity Simply By Virtue Of The Fact That Other People Recognize Their Names And Faces But Know Nothing Else About Them? Why Do We Care What They Think, What They Wear, What They Eat?

The Good Thing About Being A Hypocrite Is That You Get To Keep Your Values.

Being A Hypocrite

You Wouldn't Want To Be Called A Sell-out By Selling A Product. Selling Out Was Frowned On, Whereas Now You Can Major In It At Business School.

Begin Challenging Your Own Assumptions. Your Assumptions Are Your Windows On The World. Scrub Them Off Every Once In Awhile, Or The Light Won't Come In.

You Have To Leave The City Of Your Comfort And Go Into The Wilderness Of Your Intuition. What You'll Discover Will Be Wonderful. What You'll Discover Is Yourself.

It's Too Bad I'm Not As Wonderful A Person As People Say I Am, Because The World Could Use A Few People Like That.

For A While In My Teens, I Was Sure I Had It. It Was About Getting To Heaven. If Heaven Existed And Lasted Forever, Then A Mere Lifetime Spent Scrupulously Following Orders Was A Small Investment For An Infinite Payoff. One Day, Though, I Realized I Was No Longer A Believer, And Realizing That, I Couldn't Go Back.

Our Lives Depend On Good Communication. Good Communication Helps Personal Relationships, It Helps Bosses And Employees Get Along Better. We Rely On It.

I Find Myself Going To Places Where I Really Have No Business, Speaking To These People In A Whole Other Field That I Have No Extensive Knowledge Of. But I Do It Very Often Because It Scares Me.

Whenever You Wonder About Yourself, Look Up At The Stars Swirling Around In The Heavens And Just Realize How Tiny And Puny They Are. They're Supposed To Be Gigantic Explosions And They're Just These Insignificant Little Dots. If You Step Back From Things Far Enough You Realize How Important And Powerful You Are.

Working On The West Wing Was Similar In Many Ways To My Experience On M*a*s*h, Because You Had People Willing To Work Late At Night To Get It Just Right.

How Can I Ever Hope To Communicate Something To You Unless I Get Signals Back From You That I'm On The Right Track Or That I've Started At Some Place That You're Familiar With?

I'm In This Wonderful Position Where I Can Do What Interests Me. And Whatever Comes Along That Interests Me, I Do. The Rest Of The Time I Bother Scientists About Communicating.

I Have A Final Word Of Advice To Our Students. If You Work Very, Very Hard, This Is The Kind Of Actor, Writer And Director You May Turn Out To Be, And If You Work Extra Hard, This Is The Kind Of Person You May Turn Out To Be.

Be Brave Enough To Live Creatively.

I Still Don't Like The Word Agnostic. It's Too Fancy. I'm Simply Not A Believer. But, As Simple As This Notion Is, It Confuses Some People. Someone Wrote A Wikipedia Entry About Me, Identifying Me As An Atheist Because I'd Said In A Book I Wrote That I Wasn't A Believer. I Guess In A World Uncomfortable With Uncertainty, An Unbeliever Must Be An Atheist, And Possibly An Infidel. This Gets Us Back To That Most Pressing Of Human Questions: Why Do People Worry So Much About Other People's Holding Beliefs Other Than Their Own?

There Are Two Things That I Get A Lot Of Pleasure From In My Life, And That Is, Doing What I Know How To Do Well - That Really Makes Me Happy. The Other One, And Probably An Equal Pleasure, Is Finding Out How I Can Be Helpful And Then Really Being Helpful.

I Dont See We Can Have A Separation Of Church And State In This Government If You Have To Pass A Religious Test To Get In This Government. And I Want To Warn Everyone In The Press And All The Voters Out There: If You Demand Expressions Of Religious Faith From Politicians, You Are Just Begging To Be Lied To. They Wont All Lie To You But A Lot Of Them Will. And Itll Be The Easiest Lie They Ever Had To Tell To Get Your Votes. So Every Day Till The End Of This Campaign, Ill Answer Any Question Anyone Has On Government, But If You Have A Question On Religion, Please, Go To Church.

Really Top-notch Directors, I've Often Worked With Them Just To See How They Work.

Be Brave Enough To Live Creatively . . . What You'll Discover Will Be Wonderful: Yourself.

During The First Day, Curious At Having Outsiders Among Them, A Long Stream Of Inmates Came Over And Talked With Me. Remarkably, According To What They Told Me, Nearly Every Inmate In The Prison Didn't Do It. Several Thousand People Had Been Locked Up Unjustly And, By An Incredible Coincidence, All In The Same Prison. On The Other Hand, They Knew An Awful Lot About How To Knife Somebody.

It's Always Better To Be Wise Than To Be Smart.

As An Artist, As An Actor, As A Writer, You Have To Use What's Personal To You. You Have To Be Personal About Your Work; Otherwise, It Doesn't Ring True.

I'm Greedy For That Satisfaction Of Doing Something Hard And Knowing That, Even Though I Was Afraid I Couldn't Do It, That Somehow I Can Deliver.

And I Think Belief Is One Of Those Things That Comes To People In Their Own Way. And Just Because I Believe In Something Doesn't Mean I Think That You Should.

When Your Kids Turn 13, An Alien Being Invades Their Bodies And Doesn't Leave Until They're 20.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed Is Really Advice To Myself, A Reminder To Myself Not To Avoid Change Or Uncertainty, But To Go With It, To Surf Into Change.

Almost Everybody That's Well-known Gets Tagged With A Nickname.

I Was Always Interested In Figuring Things Out. I'd Do Experiments, Like Combining Things I Found Around The House To See What Would Happen If I Put Them Together.

Figuring Things

Be As Smart As You Can, But Remember That It Is Always Better To Be Wise Than To Be Smart.

It Makes It Fun. When An Actor Plays A Character, You Want What That Character Wants. Otherwise It Doesn't Look Authentic. So I Really Want To Defeat Jimmy - I Mean Jimmy As The Character.

It's Not An Epitaph. I Felt I Could Look Back At My Life And Get A Good Story Out Of It. It's A Picture Of Somebody Trying To Figure Things Out. I'm Not Trying To Create Some Impression About Myself. That Doesn't Interest Me.

For Me, I Find That Even Though I've Accomplished A Few Things In My Life, Looking Back On Accomplishments Doesn't Give Me A Sense Of Satisfaction.

The Best Things Said Come Last. People Will Talk For Hours Saying Nothing Much And Then Linger At The Door With Words That Come With A Rush From The Heart.

Some Of The Greatest Things, As I Understand, They Have Come About By Serendipity, The Greatest Discoveries

Loneliness Is Everything It's Cracked Up To Be.

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