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I Think Most Of Us Are Torn. We Have At Least Two People At War In Our Body. One Person Wants To Retire And Grow Fabulous Tomatoes, And The Other Wants To Stand Up On A Pedestal And Be Worshipped And Get Bigger And Bigger And Bigger Until She Explodes.

-Bette Midler

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I Think Most Of

Bette Midler

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I Think Most Of Us Are Torn. We Have At Least Two People At War In Our Body. One Person Wants To Retire And Grow Fabulous Tomatoes, And The Other Wants To Stand Up On A Pedestal And Be Worshipped And Get Bigger And Bigger And Bigger Until She Explodes.

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I Read Neither Good Nor Bad About Me. I Let It Not Even In My Life, So It Has No Effect On Me. I Am Very Sensitive.

Hawaii Doesn't Smell Like Sex To Me. It's The Only Place In The World That Smells Like That, But It's Not Sex, It's - Freedom.

I Celebrate Everyone's Religious Holidays. If It's Good Enough For The Righteous, It's Good Enough For The Self-righteous, I Always Say.

That's Our Mission: To Clean And Green New York City - One Block At A Time.

The People Who Are Out To Destroy The Environment Think They're Going To Get Away With It. Are They Breathing Different Air Than We're Breathing? Are They Eating Different Food? I Mean, Where Do They Think They're Going To Go? What Do They Think Is Going To Be Better Than What They Have Destroyed? I Just Don't Get It.

It's A Different World Now: Stars Come And Go Quickly, And There Are So Many Of Them. I Read A Statistic That All The Record Companies Combined Used To Put Out Around 3,000 Albums In A Year. Now They Put Out Something Like 30,000!

People Are Not The Best Because They Work Hard. They Work Hard Because They Are The Best.

I Have A Ball - And It Keeps My Heart Rate Up. I Get To Wear Fabulous Clothes. I Get To Make People Laugh. That's My Core Business, And That's Where I'll Always Return.

The Outside World Doesn't Have A Lot To Offer. You Have To Make Your Own Heaven In Your Own Home.

While I Was Growing Up, I Believed I Could Do Anything I Could Think Of. So The Challenge Was Always To Keep Thinking - To Get To Where I Wanted To Be And Then To Think Of Somewhere Else To Go.

Self-esteem Is Something You Have To Earn! The Only Way To Achieve Self-esteem Is To Work Hard. People Have An Obligation To Live Up To Their Potential.

Romance Is An Illusion. Well, Romance Is Not A Complete Illusion, But It's Ephemeral. It Does Not Last.

Culturally, It's Very Hard To Change People's Attitudes About Public Space.

Find Your Light; They Can't Love You If They Can't See You

Through Books And Photographs, I Saw A World That Was Not My Own - And I Realized That There Was Another World. That's Why I'm Concerned About Education, Because It Helps Our Children See Other Worlds.

The First Time I Saw A Picture Of [fabled Actress] Ethel Barrymore - She Was On Broadway And She Was Wearing Pearls. I Thought, "that's Who I Should Grow Up To Be." It's Odd, Because It Was Her Physical Image That I Wanted; I Had No Idea What It Was Like Actually To Be Her. In Those Days, We Weren't Bombarded By Images The Way We Are Now, And The Ones We Did Have Were More Vivid In People's Minds.

I Always Look Old When I Work Because I Get So Upset And Tense That My Face Wrinkles Up Like A Prune, I Can't Stop It.

If You're Passionate About Something, Then You Should Pick Up Your Flag And Run With It.

Only Two Groups Of People Intimidate Me Absolutely: Salespeople And The French.

Life Is Like Cooking Your Masterpiece Recipe. You Have To Get The Right Ingredients,have The Right Mixture And The Right Cooking Time To Reveal The Perfect And Delicious Taste Of Your Craft.

I Think Most Of Us Are Torn. We Have At Least Two People At War In Our Body. One Person Wants To Retire And Grow Fabulous Tomatoes, And The Other Wants To Stand Up On A Pedestal And Be Worshipped And Get Bigger And Bigger And Bigger Until She Explodes.

My Whole Life Had Been Spent Waiting For An Epiphany, A Manifestation Of God's Presence, The Kind Of Transcendent, Magical Experience That Lets You See Your Place In The Big Picture. And That Is What I Had With My First [compost] Heap.

Self-esteem Is Something You Have To Earn!

[on Helen Reddy:] She Ought To Be Arrested For Loitering In Front Of An Orchestra.

The [film] Business Is Run By Men, And They're Basically Interested In Their Own Species, And They're Not So Interested In Women Belonging To The Human Race.

Unfortunately, Every Time There's A Budget Crunch In New York, The Parks Department Is Usually The First To Be Cut. So They Need All The Help They Can Get.

I Was Brought Up On Rock-'n'-roll. It Was Sort Of Funny Because I Couldn't Get Interested In Anything Else - I Tried And Tried But I Couldn't Get Into Science...or Mathematics, I Just Cut Myself Off From Anything Else There Was To Get Interested In.

My Mother Would Only Let Us Go To The Musicals.

All These Children [who Did Not Have Music And Art Classes At School] Go Out Into The World Without Knowing That There Is Anything Other Than What They Have. Of Course, Children Do Look At Tv, But What Does It Give Them?

I Think The Essence Of Humor Has Not Changed. It's All About Surprise, Facilitating Follows. But The Context Of Humor Has Changed. Previously, The Jokes Were More Related To Current Issues, Political. Today People Make About Each Other Either Funny Or About People Like Kim Kardashian. It's Brutal. Everything Is So Much Vielschmutziger.

We Are All Part Of The Ecosystem.

When It's Three O'clock In New York, It's Still 1938 In London.

I've Always Been Lucky Enough To Have Great Audiences. It Has Been Quite A Life.

After Thirty, A Body Has A Mind Of Its Own.

Let The Sun Stop Burning, Let Them Tell Me Love's Not Worth Going Through. If It All Falls Apart, I Will Know Deep In My Heart, The Only Dream That Mattered Had Come True ...in This Life I Was Loved By You.

One Of My First Role Models Was Eugene Lang, A Wealthy Businessman Who Went Back To His Elementary School In East Harlem And Addressed The Sixth-grade Class. He Looked Out At That Sea Of Faces And Said, "if Any Of You Wants To Go To College, I Will Pay For It." When I Read That, I Burst Into Tears. It Was So Generous And So Basic. Not Fluffy. I Can't Understand Why We Scrimp On Education And Shortchange Our Kids. Why Would The Citizenry Do That To The People Who Are Going To Inherit Its Republic?

Life Is Not Fair. And You Have To Choose Your Battles, Because There Are Some That You Cannot Win. If You're Passionate About Something, Then You Should Pick Up Your Flag And Run With It.

Rap Is Poetry Set To Music. But To Me It's Like A Jackhammer.

I Want It All - And I Would Like It Delivered.

I Read A Comment That Made Me Think I Should Stop Singing For A While. And I Didn't Want To Stop Singing, Because It Was The Only Thing I Loved. At First I Thought, "maybe I'll Get Better And Eventually Please The Person Who Wrote About My Singing." But Then I Thought, "i Probably Will Never Please This Person. I Should Just Do What Pleases Me."

Men's Brains Are Smaller Than Those Of Women So They Can Fit Into Their Penises.

You Can Feel Compassion For Others Without Feeling Victimized Yourself.

I Sold My Soul To Rock 'n' Roll.

I Can Get Plenty Of Men, Keeping Them Is The Hard Part.

I Decided Years Ago Not To Read Stories About Myself Anymore. Each One Is A Potential Minefield: Whatever It Says, You're Bound To Take It The Wrong Way. Why Do It If You Know It's Going To Make You Miserable?

Thank God For The Gays. I Don't Know What Would Have Happened But I Know What Did Happen. Good For Them And Good For Me.

I Love Nature, In Spite Of What It Did To Me.

[on Princess Anne:] Such An Active, Outdoorsy Lass. She Loves Nature In Spite Of What It Did To Her.

I'm Mad About God! That's Why I'm Divine.

I Come From An Overly Confident Place. But I'm Overconfident Because Of Feelings Of Inferiority.

There Are Bugs And There Are The Pigeons And Other Predators, But You Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Them, Because This Is How Nature Works.

Most People Are Walking Around The City Like Corpses; They Aren't Alive Enough To Notice The Trash. They Come From Other Places And They See It As A Big Garbage Dump. Do You Want To Live And Work In A Garbage Dump? I Don't. That's Partly Because I Grew Up In The Most Pristine Environment Possible - Hawaii, Where It Is Sacrilege To Leave Your Garbage On The Ground.

If You Pick Up A Ukulele, It Will Make You Unbelievably Happy.

The [film] Industry Is An Ecosystem That's Sick.

My Daughter Very Independent. But If She's Upset About Something, She Will Absolutely Let Me Know. She's Great - A Real Tough Cookie.

If You Can Accept Your Differentness And Learn To Love It And Encourage It, Then You Can Be Someone Wonderful.

When You Reach A Certain Age, You Have Fulfilled Your Childhood Dream And Whatever Your First Or Second Adulthood Led You To Do. Then You're In Your Third Adulthood, The One That Leads To The Grave, And You Ask Yourself, "what Will I Do Between Now And Then?" Instead Of Thinking In Terms Of Glamour, You Start Thinking In Terms Of Reform - Your Contribution To The World.

Just Because People Don't Meet You Doesn't Mean They're Not Out There Breaking Their Asses Trying To Get Around.

From The Age Of 14 Until I Was 50, I Just Got On A Treadmill And Ran. I Never Stopped To Assess What I Was Doing Or To Pat Myself On The Back.

There's The Media-driven Universe, In Which The Public Perceives You In A Superficial Way. Then There's The Universe That You Actually Inhabit, Where You Have To Get Up Even If You Didn't Sleep So Well, And You Feel Like Crap And Your Face Is Swollen.

Enough About Me. What Do You Think About Me?

If Only I'd Known My Differentness Would Be An Asset, Then My Earlier Life Would Have Been Much Easier.

Being Different

Make Sure Your Life Is A Rare Entertainment! It Doesn't Take Anything Drastic. You Needn't Be Gorgeous Or Wealthy Or Smart, Just Very Enthusiastic!

Sometimes My Brain Goes On Cd Shuffle. You Know, You Put A Bunch Of Cd's On And Hit Play And Random Things Come Out.

A Lot Of People Say That My Life Is Wasted On Me Because I Could Be A Bigger Asshole Than I Am, But I've Chosen Not To Be.

I'm Looking For Something That Gives Me A Chance To Stretch. Because I Have My Own Work, And I Can Do Anything I Want In My Own Work - Juggle, Tap Dance, Anything I Want.

Give Me A Chance

Everyone Goes Through Their Winters And Springs, And Their Summers And Autumns.

You Can't Just Have A Clean Public Space - You Also Have To Have People Willing To Use It, And Something That Will Draw Them In.

For Days On End, I Would Hardly Speak, And When I Did Only The Vilest Sort Of Gibberish Would Spout Forth. I Became Morose And Fat. Unapproachable, Except When Eating - And Then Only By Waiters.

When I Turned 50, I Threw Myself A Big Birthday Party, And I Looked Seriously At What My Life Has Been About. I Recommend This To Everybody. Ask Yourself, "what Have I Done? How Did I Do It? Where'd I Mess Up? Where Did I Do Well?" When I Did This Assessment Of My Life, I Said To Myself, "it Was Really Good." I Made A Lot Of People Laugh, Made A Lot Of People Cry In A Good Way, Brought A Lot Of Joy To People, Picked Up A Lot Of Garbage. And In All Those Years, I Saw A Lot. I Went To Foreign Lands. I Met Interesting People. And I Got It!

Without Passion, The Powers-that-be Can Run Roughshod Over You.

All These Rumors About [tom Cruise] Being Gay. I Don't Believe It. I Don't Believe It For One Minute. He Hasn't Been To One Of My Shows.

My Parents Taught Me: Do Not Rely On A Man. Not Rely On It That You Get Married And It Pays For You. That's What I Figured. I Have Always Paid My Own Bills.

The Old Forms Of Entertainment Are Not Extinct. Live Performances Are The Pinnacle. If You Can Something That People Want To See Live, Then You Have A Great Career.

Sometimes You Have To Make Your Own Opportunities, And That's Why I'm On Tv. I Wasn't Going To Sit Around Anymore, Waiting For The Damn Phone To Ring. I Had To Create My Own Place - I've Always Done That.

The Worst Part Of Success Is To Try To Find Someone Who Is Happy For You.

Humor Disarms People. They Don't Feel Threatened.

Some Say Love, It Is A Razor That Leaves Your Soul To Bleed.

People Put Barriers Up In Your Path, And One Of Those Barriers Is Age. They Tell You, "you're Too Old. You Don't Photograph So Well Anymore." I Know I Don't Photograph So Well Anymore, So What Can I Do? I Can Do Something Different, Where It Doesn't Matter As Much How I Look.

If Someone Were To Say Seriously, "i'm Divine," She'd Have To Be Locked Up. There Are Lots Of People In Mental Institutions Going Around Saying "i'm God." But Because I'm Funny About It, They Haven't Locked Me Up Yet. And I Don't Give Myself Airs, Either.

My Parents Used To Park Us Kids At The Public Library In Downtown Honolulu Every Saturday. They'd Leave Us There At 8 A.m. And Pick Us Up At 4 P.m. - So Between Those Hours, You'd Better Find Something To Do! I Sat Upstairs In The Picture Room And Went Through Opera, Ballet, And Theater Books. I Loved The Photographs Of People Wearing Elaborate Makeup And Costumes - They Really Pulled At Me Inside. I Was In That Library Every Week For Years, Until I Was About 13. I Had A Rich Interior Life, Because I Didn't Have Much Of A Social Life.

It's The Point Of Your View That Decides What You See - / One Man's Flop Is Another Man's Hit. / From Manners To Movies, The Picture Keeps Changing / Depending Upon Where You Sit.

It's The One Who Won't Be Taken That Cannot Seem To Give, And The Soul Afraid Of Dying That Never Learns To Live.

If Somebody Makes Me Laugh, I’m His Slave For Life.

I Want To Have Fun, And I Want To Give People A Good Laugh.

I've Always Said We Got Married Because There Was Nothing On Tv.

Before One Actually Visits Them, Everyone Tends To Think Of Their Favorite Countries As One Grand Disneyland Filled With National Monuments And Historical Treasures Conveniently Laid Out For Easy Viewing, When What They Really Are Filled With, Of Course, Is People Going To Work, Laundromats And Places To Buy Rat Poison.

It Is True That In This Culture, They Throw You Out When You Get Older. I See It All The Time, Especially In My Business. At My Age, You're Playing Somebody's Mother - And There Aren't Even A Lot Of Those Roles!

Sold My Soul. Bought These Devil Chains.

A Lot Of People Have No Access To Beauty. When I Was Growing Up, My Mother Had Only A Few Pretty Things To Look At.

When I Started In This [music] Business, I Had A Dream, But It Was Amorphous, And I Had No Experience. I Just Had A Fuzzy Notion Of What Life Would Be Like If I Became What I Pictured.

Cherish Forever What Makes You Unique, 'cuz You're Really A Yawn If It Goes.

Group Conformity Scares The Pants Off Me Because It's So Often A Prelude To Cruelty Towards Anyone Who Doesn't Want To - Or Can't - Join The Big Parade.

Image Is Everything, And The Voice Or The Idea Or The Song Is Hardly Anything At All. Half The Time The Person Isn't Even Doing The Singing. I'm A Bit Cynical About This [music] Business.

When The Movies First Started, Audiences Were Dumbstruck To See Actresses Walking Around In Evening Gowns. They'd Never Seen Anything Like That. They Wanted To Be Like Those Actors And Actresses, So The Movies Informed Their Behavior. A Lot Of People Started Drinking Martinis And Smoking Cigarettes Because They Felt It Was Cool.

I Married A German. Every Night I Dress Up As Poland And He Invades Me.

I'm Not Interested In Perfection. The Universe Is Perfect, And There Are Some Works Of Art That We See As Perfect, But Human Beings Aren't Perfect.

I Don't Need Anyone To Write Me A Show In My Style, I Would Like To Do A Show In A Style That Wasn't My Style, Because That's The Only Way I Can Grow Up And Grow Out.

My Parents Have Not Insisted That We Go To College, But She Wanted Us To Learn. Teacher, Librarian, Secretary, Nurse. All My Siblings Were Employed. But I Wanted To Be The Boss, An Independent Contractor.

I Try Not To Drink Too Much Because When I'm Drunk, I Bite.

Here I Am, One Of The Most Colorful Women Of My Time - If Not Of My Block - Being Made To Sound Positively Legumelike In Printed Interviews.

Sometimes, When I Wake Up, My Soul Is In Another City!

When My Daughter Was Younger We Showed Her All The Great Musicals. And The Great Dramas And Great Comedies, And The One That She Took To The Most Was Some Like It Hot.

I Tried To Charm The Pants Off Bob Dylan, But Everyone Will Be Disappointed To Learn That I Was Unsuccessful. I Got Close - A Couple Of Fast Feels In The Front Seat Of A Cadillac.

Writing A Book Is Not As Tough As It Is To Haul Thirty-five People Around The Country And Sweat Like A Horse Five Nights A Week.

I'm Confident That I'm As Intelligent As Many People, But I Know That I'm Not As Intelligent As Some. So In The Presence Of Hyperintelligent People, I'm A Shrinking Violet Because I Don't Want To Look Like A Fool. I Know A Little About A Lot And A Lot About A Little.

When You Have A Steady Job You're More Inspired To Broaden Yourself.

It's Important That You All Agree On What The Parameters Are And What You Can Accomplish - And Not Get Pissed Off Or Beat Yourself Up For What You Can't Accomplish.

America Is So Caught Up In This Celebrity Mania!

There's A Kind Of Emotional Exploration You Plumb With A Friend That You Don't Really Do With Your Family.

Twenty-seven People Sang 'wind Beneath My Wings' Before I Got Around To It. A Lot Of People Saw The Movie That I Sang It In, Beaches, And What They Came Away With Was That Song. They Turned To Their Loved Ones And Said, 'you Know, You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings!' The Song Expressed How They Felt In A Way A Simple 'i Love You' Would Not Have.

That's Why I'm Concerned About Education, Because It Helps Our Children See Other Worlds. Education Is My Next Big Thing. When Music And Art Were Taken Out Of The Schools, I Went Berserk!

It's The Heart Afraid Of Breaking That Never Learns To Dance. It Is The Dream Afraid Of Waking That Never Takes The Chance.

There Comes A Time Whenyou Haveto Let Yourclothesgo Out In The World And Try To Make It On Their Own.

Britney Spears And Christina Aguilera Are Doing Pretty Well At Getting Noticed - A Lot Of People Are Doing Pretty Well At It. But You Wonder Whether They'll Last, Because Many Of Them Don't Have The Ability To Get An Audience To Love Them. You Say, "that's A Fabulous Body" Or "i Like That Song"; You Don't Say, "i Love Them Because I Know Them." You Can't Know Them.

I Fear For The Future Of The Planet. But In A Funny Way, I'm Even Sanguine About That.

If You're Frightened, You're Out Of Luck.

We're All Divine, But I Was The Only One Who Had The Nerve To Call Myself That.

Cats Always Seem So Very Wise, When Staring With Their Half-closed Eyes. Can They Be Thinking, I'll Be Nice, And Maybe She Will Feed Me Twice?

Total Contentment Is Only For Cows.

That's The Oscars For Ya - You Remember Who Was Nominated, But You Don't Remember Who Won!

Through Books And Photographs, I Saw A World That Was Not My Own - And I Realized That There Was Another World.

[on Denmark:] ... That Little Country Of Cottage Cheese And Courage.

I Believe That Judy Garland's Artistry Was So Fine. I Mean, When People Say: 'oh, She Brought So Much Of Her Life To Her Music', I Don't Really Believe That. I Believe That She Didn't Have To. She Just Was A Moving Human Being. That Was Her Gift.

Just Remember, During The Winter, Far Beneath The Bitter Snow, That There's A Seed That With The Sun's Love In The Spring Becomes A Rose.

I Would Much Rather Watch Myself Than Listen To Myself. The Moving Is Second Nature, But The Listening... That's The Art.

I'm The Last Of The Truly Tacky Women. I Do Trash With Flash And Sleaze With Ease.

What I Have In Me... It's Not Hard, And It's Not Cold, And It's Not Fierce Ambition, That's Not What It Is. It's A Drive [for Success], But It's Not A Drive...it's Being Driven, It's Something I Have No Control Over. It's Something Pushing Me, I'm Not Pushing Myself.

Marriage Is Such Hard Work. And It's Full Of Rage And Real Human Drama.

If I Don't Feel Right About What I'm In, I Don't Feel Right About Anything.

From A Distance The World Looks Blue And Green, And The Snow-capped Mountains White. From A Distance The Ocean Meets The Stream, And The Eagle Takes To Flight. From A Distance, There Is Harmony, And It Echoes Through The Land. It's The Voice Of Hope, It's The Voice Of Peace, It's The Voice Of Every Man

Honey, I Can Smell The Scent Of Another Woman From 500 Paces.

You Have To Think You're The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread, But You Have To Know That You're Not.

I Always Wanted To Be A Performer, I Didn't Know Exactly What Kind Of Performer, All I Knew Was There Were Certain Things That I Liked. I Liked Movies A Whole Lot, And I Loved Music.

The Internet Has Changed Everything. People Will Be Discovered Online. People Buy Music Online. It's A Completely Different Way To Get Entertainment.

Me, I'm Just A Hack. I'm Just A Schlep-per. I Just Do What I Can Do.

Music Is Probably The Only Place I Get Energy From. Music And Maybe Watching A Really Tremendous Performer, Watching A Terrific Performer Like Jagger Or Watching A Great Movie.

People Have An Obligation To Live Up To Their Potential.

I Firmly Believe That With The Right Footwear One Can Rule The World.

I Do Look Upon All Of Life As An Episode - Which Is Why The People Around Me Are Probably On Guard!

I Made A Pact With Myself A Long Time Ago: Never Watch Anything Stupider Than You. It's Helped Me A Lot.

My Idea Of Superwoman Is Someone Who Scrubs Her Own Floors.

I'm So Glad To Be Back In New York. Los Angeles Can Be So Cold, So Cruel After You've Been-what's The Word?-oh Yes: 'fired.'

I'd Make A Wonderful Lady Macbeth. I'll Wear A Pair Of Platform Shoes Or Something.

In A Marriage, You Struggle And Struggle And Struggle, And Then You Realize That You Have To Ride The Horse In The Direction It's Going. You Stop Trying To Pull The Reins In Another Direction.

I Wish America Would Spend Even Half As Much Time Complaining About Plastics In Our Oceans As We Do About Actresses' Plastic Surgery.

You Have To Be Alert. When My Daughter, Sophie, Came Out Of The Womb, She Was Instantly Alert, As If She Had Been Here Before. And She Was A Little Disappointed That She Was Here Again.

I Don't Like Violence. I Get Sick From Violence. Do You Think People Are Excited By Violence?

I'm Working My Way Toward Divinity.

I Always Try To Balance The Light With The Heavy - A Few Tears Of Human Spirit In With The Sequins And The Fringes.

Melbourne Is The Kind Of Town That Really Makes You Consider The Question 'is There Life After Death?

Life After Death

I've Forbidden My Daughter To Have Grandchildren, I'm Too Young.

I Haven't Left My House In Days. I Watch The News Channels Incessantly. All The News Stories Are About The Election; All The Commercials Are Viagra And Cialis. Election, Erection, Election, Erection! Either Way We're Screwed!

God Is Watching Us, From A Distance.

I Never Know How Much Of What I Say Is True.

I've Always Said That People Have Unrealistic Expectations.

Unrealistic Expectations

The Only Thing Madonna Will Ever Do Like A Virgin Is Give Birth In A Stable.

Do I Understand This Right? I'm Being Marked Down?

I Had No Idea Of Being A Star, All I Knew Was That I Wanted To Be A Great Actress, I Wanted To Work As An Actress. So I Thought The Way I Would Be A Great Actress Was To Sing And Dance First. Lay A Foundation - Get My Foot In The Door, And Then Undoubtedly, Of Course, I Would Be Offered Great Roles As Soon As I Grew Up Enough To Handle Them.

The Inventor Of The Modern Foundation Garment That We Women Wear Today Was A German Scientist And Opera Lover By The Name Of Otto Titsling.

When I Finally Did Stop And Look At My Life, I Realized That I Had Done What I'd Set Out To Do. In My Pitiful Little Way, I Had Climbed The Mountain I Had Chosen. And There I Was, On Top.

I Hope To Keep Entertaining In Some Way Until I Can't Physically Entertain Any Longer. It's What I Was Born To Do, And I Love This Profession.

If Sex Is Such A Natural Phenomenon, How Come There Are So Many Books On How To Do It?

As You Age, Feelings Do Diminish.

I Have My Standards. They're Low, But I Have Them.

I Wouldn't Say I Invented Tacky, But I Definitely Brought It To Its Present High Popularity.

Some Say Love It Is A River That Drowns The Tender Reeds. Some Say Love, It Is A Razor That Leaves Your Heart To Bleed. Some Say Love, It Is A Hunger, An Endless Aching Need. I Say Love, It Is A Flower And You, Its Only Seed.

I Bear No Grudges. I Have A Mind That Retains Nothing.

When It's Time To Shuffle Off This Mortal Coil, You Leave Your Ashes To Be Composted.

Most People Don't Deserve To Be Spoken Of In The Same Breath As Chaplin Or Lucille Ball.

I Feel Like A Million Tonight - But One At A Time.

If They [at The Audition] Don't Like The Way You Sound They Won't Buy You Anyway, Ripped Dress Or No Ripped Dress, Ass Hanging Out Or No Ass Hanging Out.

A Person's Life Is A Journey, A Road. Sometimes You Go Off The Road And Sometimes You Stay On All The Way Through. But You Are The Only One On That Road. It's Your Road.

For Some People, A Park Is The Only Place In Their Entire World Where They Can See Something Beautiful.

Even If The Whole Human Race Dies Off Because We Keep Fighting And Killing Each Other And Being Heartless, The Planet Will Take Care Of Itself. Eventually, After Millions Of Years, It Will Cleanse Itself, And New Life Forms, Maybe Better Ones, Will Come. Meanwhile, We'll Have Gotten Exactly What We Deserved: Annihilation.

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