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I Have To Be Really Careful, Because I Have Nothing But Love For This Entity Known As "the Customer" In Entertainment. I Would Never, Ever, Ever Put Myself Above Them And Say, "they Don't Get It, But It's Funny, Believe Me." If They're Not Laughing, I'm Doing My Job Wrong.

-Dan Harmon

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I Have To Be

Dan Harmon

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I Have To Be Really Careful, Because I Have Nothing But Love For This Entity Known As "the Customer" In Entertainment. I Would Never, Ever, Ever Put Myself Above Them And Say, "they Don't Get It, But It's Funny, Believe Me." If They're Not Laughing, I'm Doing My Job Wrong.

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You Have People Saying Two Things That Seem To Contradict Each Other. One, That We Live In A Golden Age Of Tv. The Other, That Television Is Dying. There's A Reason For That. What We Mean When We Say It's Dying Is That It's Already Way Past Being Fragmented Into Little Chunks. Now It's Being Polarized Into An Aerosol Mist.

I Am A Collaborator With Everyone Who Agrees That I Need To Be In Control. I Happily Collaborate With My Loyalists.

I Surround Myself With Loyalists And People That I Would Die For. I Just Would Rather Die Than Make Bad Stuff For People Because I'm A Terrible Dishwasher And A Terrible Lover And A Terrible Pet Owner.

I'm From Wisconsin So I Always Feel A Little Nauseous About Begging And Trying To Trick People Into Liking Me.

I Don't Really Have A Lot Of Appropriate Feelings For People On An Individual Basis, But I've Always Wanted To Make People Happy.

I Guess Working In The Legitimate Industry, The Best Thing You Can Take Away From It Is Acceptance Of The Incompetence That Often Surrounds You. No, That Sounds Horrible. The Most Important Thing, I Guess, Is The Fact That Working In The Legitimate Industry, What I See All Too Often Is People Trying To Interpret The Wishes Of The Audience, Which With Today's Technology, Is All Too Easy To Measure Empirically.

'i Want To Touch People But If I Touch Them In Real Life They'll Slap Me.' That's What Writing Isit's A Gross Person Getting A Hug.

With An Animated Show You Can Make A Banana Purple. You Can Put Three Hats On A Cowboy. That Would Require Several Days Of Stitching, In Live-action, That You Wouldn't Be Able To Afford. I Mean, You Can Just Do Tons And Tons And Tons.

The Public's Perception Of Your Show Is What It Is, And You Don't Get To Complain How People Perceive Your Show Or Talk About It.

Everyone Knows That There Are More People Watching Any Given Show Than Is Being Registered By The Nielsen System.

Tv Tends To Be Like, If You're Lucky, It's Like Las Vegas. You Can't Get Out. There's Always Another Pitch Meeting. They Keep You On The Casino Floor. If I'm Unlucky, If I'm Lucky Enough To Be Unlucky, I Would Love To Write A Movie.

Good Writers Hate Bad Writing But Hating Bad Writing Doesn’t Make You Good. Writing Badly Does.

I Don't Think It's Going To Be Possible For The Next Generation Of Writers To Tell Stories Without Telling Stories About Telling Stories.

I Grew Up On Network Sitcoms. If Those Are Gone When I'm 65 Years Old, I Would Never Forgive Myself For Not Stepping Up To That Plate, As Often As Possible. I'm Already Bummed Out That Dvds Are Dying Off Because, In My 20s, Those Were A Huge Thing.

Yoda Is Interesting Because, In Addition To Being Wise, He Is Two Feet Tall, And A Yoda.

Class Clowns Are Never Allowed To Date Anybody Decent, But You Don't Get Beaten Up, You're Invited To Parties, And Everybody Likes You.

Garry Shandling Has Always Been A Pioneer Of… Meta Entertainment. He's Always Been A Defender Of The Creative Right To Use The Frame As Part Of The Painting.

I Really Like Performing For People.

Technology Changes The Medium. I Grew Up On Watching A Box In My Living Room That Made My Parents Happy. After Something Is Gone, The Dust Will Settle And I'll See What's Next.

Once Upon A Time, Something Happened, And It Was Better Than Something Not Happening. The End.

Once Upon A Time

There Are Two Kinds Of People In This World. There Are The People That Will Have You Think That There Are Two Kinds Of People In This World, And There Are The 'good; People. There Is No Good, There Is No Evil, There Is Just A War Going On Between The People That Want You To Think There's A War Going On And The People That Know There Doesn't Have To Be One.

You'll Be Perfect When You're Dead

If Somebody's Cat Happens To Turn On The Tv, My Numbers Can Double. It's Almost Unrelated To What's Really Happening.

I Was Playing The Game Where I Was Going To Be A Great Tv Or Film Writer Some Day And There Was Nothing Else That I Thought About, Including Other People.

I Was Raised On Nbc Television.

I Always Try To Use My Medium, And If I Get Into A Normal Sitcom-writing Contest With Normal Sitcom Writers, I'm Going To Lose.

Television Is A Populous, Derivative, Democratic Medium.

I Walk With God, And He Protects Me. That May Very Well Be True. I Don't Mean To Make That Sound Like A Joke, In Case He Is In Charge.

If Your Ratings Are High And There’s Money Being Made, You’re Allowed To Be A Perfectionist In Television.

There Are No Normal People, There Are Just Different Kinds Of Weird, All Of It Is Human And All Humanity Is Better Than Everything Inhuman. So I Urge You To Keep Expressing Yourself As Honestly As You Can, And Know That The Backpedals And Second-guesses Really Aren't Necessary - They Don't Hurt But They're Wasting Your Time - Because When You Are Truly Human, As We All Are, And When That Is Your Honest Message To Anyone, You Are Beyond Reproach, There Is No Way To Screw It Up.

I Love 30 Rock. It's One Of My Favorite Shows. It's Certainly The Gold Standard Of Comedy Writing.

The Language We're Exchanging, The Fillings In Our Teeth, The Pavement On The Road Outside, Everywhere You Look, For Better Or For Worse, You're Going To See Evidence That Accepting Reality Is Not A Human's Tendency, And Not What We're Good At, And Not, In My Speculation, What God Or Natural Selection Hired Us To Do. We've Been Hired, By This Universe, To Dream, To Aspire, To Make Things That Weren't Real Real - And Because That Involves A Lot Of Failure, We're Damn Good At Doing That, Too.

It Was Never My Direct Intention To Do Anything Particularly Medium-defying.

I Wish That Television Would Stop Selling Our Hatred Of Ourselves, And Start Seducing Us With Our Love Of Ourselves.

Wake Up In The Morning And Say, 'i Refuse To Be A Hack,' And See What Happens By The End Of The Day.

The End Of The Day

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None Of Us Are Bad People. We Float Around And We Run Across Each Other And We Learn About Ourselves, And We Make Mistakes And We Do Great Things. We Hurt Others, We Hurt Ourselves, We Make Others Happy And We Please Ourselves. We Can And Should Forgive Ourselves And Each Other For That.

You Don’t Give Someone Notes On Their Performance At A Soup Kitchen.

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The Concept Of Doing Holiday Episodes Is A Huge Part Of What's Fantastic About Doing Tv. And Viewers Agree; You See The Numbers Going Up For Holiday Episodes.

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There Are No Normal People, There Are Just Different Kinds Of Weird.

Find Your Voice, Shout It From The Rooftops, And Keep Doing It Until The People That Are Looking For You Find You.

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