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I Flipped Down The Visor So I Could Check Myself In The Mirror, And Something Small And Heavy Dropped Into My Lap. I Froze, My Breath Stuck In My Throat. What—? Gingerly, I Looked Down. It Wasn’t A Grenade. It Was A Key Ring. One Key Was For This Van. I Looked At It Blankly. “well, That’ll Simplify Things,” Fang Said.

-James Patterson

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I Flipped Down The

James Patterson

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I Flipped Down The Visor So I Could Check Myself In The Mirror, And Something Small And Heavy Dropped Into My Lap. I Froze, My Breath Stuck In My Throat. What—? Gingerly, I Looked Down. It Wasn’t A Grenade. It Was A Key Ring. One Key Was For This Van. I Looked At It Blankly. “well, That’ll Simplify Things,” Fang Said.

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I'm Big On Having A Blistering Pace. That's One Of The Hallmarks Of What I Do, And That's Not Easy. I Never Blow Up Cars And Things Like That, So It's Something Else That Keeps The Suspense Flowing. I Try Not To Write A Chapter That Isn't Going To Turn On The Movie Projector In Your Head.

How Is San Francisco, Alex? Lovely City. Will You Leave Your Heart There? Do You Think It's A Good Place To Die?

I Want To Know About My Mom. And Other Stuff. I Want To Know The Whole Story, Good Or Bad.” “me, Too,” Said Gazzy. “i Want To Find My Parents So I Can Tell’m What Total Scuzzes They Are. Like, ‘hi, Mom And Dad, You’re Such Scum!

Have You Guys Been Playing In Toxic Waste Again?" Fang Asked Severely, Putting His Hands On His Hips. Nudge Giggled. "no." "been Bitten By A Radioactive Spider?" Fang Went On. "struck By Lightning? Drink A Super-soldier Serum?" "no, No, No," Said Iggy. He Started Reaching For Things Around The Table, And His Hand Landed On Total. "you're Black." "i Prefer Canine-american." Said Total. "when's That Pie Coming? I'm Starving.

I Love The Idea Of Expanding The Universe Of Games To Some Extent. At One Point, They Were Kind Of Limited To Boys, Fanboys And Whatever. I Like The Idea Of Liberation For Games.

I Remembered Something My First Partner Had Told Me. Never Wrestle With A Pig, Lindsay. You Both Get Dirty. The Pig Likes It.

I Love Nudge, Nudge Is A Great Kid, But That Motormouth Of Hers Could Have Turned Mother Teresa Into An Ax Murderer.

You're Lying Through Your Fangs," Iggy Accused. Fang Tried To Play Innocent--but "innocent Fang" Is An Oxymoron, So It Didn't Work.

Listen, Street Punk. You're A Guy, And You're A Couple Inches Taller, And Maybe Forty Pounds Heavier, And Ooh, You're In A Gang. But I've Survived Ten Years Of Catholic School, And I Will Cut You Off At Your Knees Without A Blink. Do You Understand?

My Style Is Colloquial Storytelling. It's The Way We Tell Stories To One Another - It's Not Writerly, It's Not Overdone.

I Hate This Guy,” Ari Muttered, Keeping His Head Down “there’s A Club,” I Told Him. “the Haters Of Ter Borcht Club. Have You Gotten Your Badge Yet?

I'm A Girl Of Extremes. When I Love Something, I'm Like A Puppy Dog (without All The Licking). When I'm Cranky, I'm A Wasp (like A Whole Hive Of 'em). And When I'm Angry, I'm A Mother Bear With A Predator After Her Cubs: Dangerous.

What Test?" Asked Nudge. "max, You're Incorruptible." "only By Power." I Said. "you Haven't Tried Chocolate Yet.

I Want My Room To Smell Just Like This." Iggy Inhaled Deeply As The Scents Flame-broiled Burgers And Hot French Fries Wafted Around Us. 'it Would Be An Improvement.' I Agreed.

You Know, I Guess I Just Don't Like To Talk A Lot About Sad Things. Now You Know My Flaw. What Good Does It Do To Talk About Sad Things In The Past?

Angel Wanted Them All To Burn In H-e- Double Toothpicks Forever.

In The Dictionary, Next To The Word Stress, There Is A Picture Of A Midsize Mutant Stuck Inside A Dog Crate, Wondering If Her Destiny Is To Be Killed Or To Save The World. Okay, Not Really. But There Should Be.

Sighing, She Gave A Brief Nod. “i Was Supposed To Win. I Was Supposed To Finish You Off. They Never Counted On You Winning. And Then You Didn’t Kill Me. It Was Awful.” “you’re Welcome,” I Said, Feeling Fresh Anger Ignite. “i’ll Try Not To Humiliate You By Letting You Live Next Time.” (max Ii To Max)

Nudge: "i Look Like Prep School Barbie. (looks At Max) Actually, You Look Like Prep School Barbie. I'm Just Barbie's Friend.

I Don't Smile As Much As I Should, Even Though I Smile Inside A Lot.

Am I Tough? Am I Strong? Am I Hard-core? Absolutely. Did I Whimper With Pathetic Delight When I Sank My Teeth Into My Hot Fried-chicken Sandwich? You Betcha.

If The White House Could Do More To Tell Parents That Getting Children Reading Is Their Business Too, We'd See A Big Difference. Hollywood And The Nba Or Nfl Could Step In, Too. In England They Have An Event Called Book Day, Where Every Child Receives A Pound To Use At Any Bookstore.

Once A Bird Kid, Always A Bird Kid. - Maximum Ride Series

An Unbearable Smug Look Came Over His Usually Impassive Face."uh-huh. You Just Keep Telling Youself That. You Looove Me." I Took A Swing At Him, But He Jumped Back Nimbly, And All I Did Was Jar My Left Arm, Making It Hurt. He Laughed At Me, Then Pointed At The Woods Ouside The Window."pick A Tree. I'll Go Carve Our Initials In It.

Be Calm. Be Zen. You Are Buddha.

Why, The Little Voice Inside My Head, Of Course. You Mean You Don't Have One? I Did.

The Weird, Weird Thing About Devastating Loss Is Tha Life Actually Goes On.

I Hung My Head, And I Felt Someone, Fang, Gather Me Gently To Him. My Cheek Rested On His Shoulder, And My Silent Tears Soaked His Torn Shirt.he Felt Warm And Strong And Heartbreakingly Familiar. And At That Moment, Not A Single Thing In My Life Was Certain, Strong, Or Whole. Nothing. Least Of All Fang.

A Guy Who Hates His Job Isn't Going To Be Too Charming At Home.

I Shot Him The Bird. (get It? I Shot Him The—never Mind.)

Great, They Give Blind Kids Guns," I Said, Trying To Lessen His Horror. "i Don't Even Let Iggy Have A Gun. Usually.

Total?" I Called. He Looked Up Alertly, Then Ran Over To Me, Small Pink Tongue Hanging Out. Total?" I Said When He Was Close. "can You Talk?" He Flopped Down On The Grass, Panting Slightly. "yeah. So?" Jeezum. I Mean, Mutant Weirdos Are Nothing New To Me, You Know? But A Talking Dog?

Why Aren't Crazy People Content To Take Over, Like, One Town? It Always Has To Be The Whole Word. They Can't Just Control Maybe Twenty People. The Have To Control Everyone. The Can't Just Be Stinking Rich. The Can't Just Do Genetic Experiments On A Couple Unlucky Few. They Have To Put Something In The Water. In The Air. To Get Everyone. I Was Tired Of All Of It.

What, Ebay Isn't Good Enough For Us?

Life Is Such A Miracle, A Series Of Small Miracles.it Really Is, If You Learn How To Look At It With The Right Perspective.

Jeb Climbed The Ladder Fang Had Just Lowered And I Indulged In A Moments Fantasy About Someone Slamming The Trapdoor On His Head.”-max

She Had A Lot Of Hugs To Give, But Not Enough People To Give Them To.

Iggy: "i'll Grab A Zebra; Gaz, You Fill All The Bubbles With Your Trademark Scent. So People Are Choking And Gagging; And Let's Throw Beef Jerky In Their Eyes! Now, That's A Plan!

I Whirled Around And Saw No One. No Psychotic Mad Scientists, Anyway. "jackpot, Max! Jackpot!" It Was Was Fang, And He Was Giggling Hysterically. For Those Of You Just Joining Us, Fang Doesn't Giggle. Especially Hysterically. So For A Second, This Seemed Like One Of The Weirder Dreams Of Recent Days.

You're Children. Don't You Want A Home, A Family?" "with, Like, Vitamin-fortified Cereal And Educational Television?

Guess They Forgot To Program Us With Any Respect For Authority." "well, I Have A Highly Developed Sense Of Irony.

There's Always Be A Me And You.

Even Needing To Get To Angel, We Couldn’t Forget The Basic Necessity Of Eating.

It Is My Time. The Time Of Maximum Ride.

I Couldn’t Leave Total Behind.” “total?” Iggy Asked. “that’s What His Card Said,” Angel Explained. “totally A Mutant Dog Who Will Probably Turn On Us And Kill Us In Our Sleep,” Fang Said.

Why Would You Let [the Tv Audiences] Build A Habit Of Going To The Cable Networks? So I Think They've Obviously Smartened Up Now, And They're Not Giving The Summer To Cable Anymore.

And Flock Rule Number Two Is, Don't Argue With Max Or You'll Live To Regret It." I Spun And Stomped Out To The Clearing, Turning Back For One Last Jab At Dylan. "and By The Way, You Clearly Don't Know Me Better Than Fang Does. Do You See Fang Arguing With Me? No, You Do Not." Fang Rolled His Eyes.

The House Was On Fire," I Greeted Them Tersely. "in Case You're Interested." They Both Glanced Up Overhead As If To Make Sure The House Was Still Standing. Fang Sniffed, Smelling The Smoke. It's Out, Right?" He Said

You Love Me This Much.

I Love You, I Love Your Smile Your Snarl Your Grin, Your Face When Your Sleeping.i Love Your Hair Streaming Behind You As We Fly, With The Sunlight Making It Shine, If It Doesn't Have Too Much Mud Or Blood In It, I Love Seeing Your Wings Spreading Out, White And Brown And Tan And Speckled, And The Tiny Downy Feathers Right At The Top Of Your Shoulders. I Love Your Eyes, Whether They're Cold Or Calculating Or Suspicious Or Laughing Or Warm, Like When You Look At Me.

Sometimes When You're At Your Most Certain, That's When Everything You Know Is Wrong.

I'm Not Stubborn; I'm Right!

If By 'miracle Kids' You Mean Innocent Test-tube Babies Whose Dna Was Forcibly Unraveled And Merged With Two Percent Avian Genes, Yeah, I Guess That Would Be Us," I Said. "because It's A Miracle That We're Not Complete Nut Jobs And Mutant Disasters.

It Was The Building From The Drawing In My Brain. And If You Don’t Think That’s A Weird Sentence, Maybe You Should Reread It.

"i Feel Like, Like Pudding," Iggy Groaned. "pudding With Nerve Endings. Pudding In Great Pain."

I Read Some, And Then Visited With People Involved In This Curious, Exciting And Somewhat Misunderstood Sub-culture. I Met With A Fang Maker, Who Offered To Fit Me For An Exquisite Pair.

I Think E-books Are Terrific In Their Own Right. I Love Being Able To Get On A Plane And Basically Carry Around Seven Books And It Weigh 10 Ounces.

Good Memories Are Like Charms...each Is Special. You Collect Them, One By One, Until One Day You Look Back And Discover They Make A Long, Colorful Bracelet.

There Was Something I Needed To Say. “sorry. About Before.” Fang Shot A Sideways Glance At Me, His Eyes Dark And Inscrutable, As Always. He Looked Back Out At The Water. I Didn’t Expect Any More Acknowledgment Than That. Fang Never- “you Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack,” He Said Quietly. “when I Saw You, And All That Blood . . .” He Threw A Small Rock As Hard As He Could Down The Beach. “i’m Sorry.” “don’t Do It Again,” He Said. I Swallowed Hard. “i Won’t.” Something Changed Right Then, But I Didn’t Know What.

Meaning What? We're Going To Pretend Nothing's Going On? That's Stupid. The Only Way To Deal With Any Of This Is To Get It Out In The Open." Have You Been Watching Oprah Again?

Fang," I Said, My Voice Breaking. "just Live, Okay? Live And Be Okay." With No Warning, I Leaned Down And Kissed His Mouth, Just Like That. "ow," He Said, Touching His Split Lip, Then He And I Stared At Each Other In Shock.

Disney World?” Ari Felt Like His Head Was About To Explode. “disney World?” His Gravelly Voice Rose Into A Harsh Shriek. “they’re Not On Vacation! They’re On The Run! They’re Running For Their Lives! Death Is Following Them Like A Bullet, And They’re On The Big Thunder Mountain Railroad?

What Are You Doing Here?” [ndr Prison] Selling Girl Scout Cookies,” I Said. “want Some? The Samoas Are Terrific.” (max Ii To Max)

That's More Than Three Questions, Max. And Sometimes Whether Someone Is Your Friend Or Enemy Is All In How You Look At It. But If You Must Know, I Consider Myself Your Friend, A Good Friend Who Loves You Very Much. No One Loves You More Than I Do, Maximum. Now Listen. I Ask The Questions, Not You. You're Just Here... For The Ride. For The Incredible, Indescribable Maximum Ride.

You're Just Here For The Ride. For The Incredible, Indescribable Maximum Ride. --max's Voice

I Flipped Down The Visor So I Could Check Myself In The Mirror, And Something Small And Heavy Dropped Into My Lap. I Froze, My Breath Stuck In My Throat. What—? Gingerly, I Looked Down. It Wasn’t A Grenade. It Was A Key Ring. One Key Was For This Van. I Looked At It Blankly. “well, That’ll Simplify Things,” Fang Said.

Lots Of Women Are Gifting Themselves With Diamonds For Their Right Hand.

Just Because Life Is Hard, And Always Ends In A Bad Way, Doesn't Mean That All Stories Have To, Even If That's What They Tell Us In School And In The New York Times Review. In Fact, It's A Good Thing That Stories Are As Different As We Are, One From Another.

Do We Have Any Chlorine? It Seems To Be Kind Of Explosive When Mixed With Other Stuff." "like What, Your Socks? No, We Don't Have Chlorine. No Swimming Pool.

Fang: "have You Guys Been Playing In The Toxic Waste Again? Been Bitten By A Radioactive Spider? Struck By Lightning? Drink A Super-soldier Serum?"

I'm A Girl Who Has Been Tamping Down Her Emotions And Keeping Them Tightly Guarded Her Whole Life. And That Works Really Well For Me. [...] And Now I Felt Like My Shell Had A Dangerous Crack In It. Without Much More Effort On His Part, It Would Split Wide Open And My Enormous River Of Emotions Would Gush Out - The Bad And The Good. It Was Pretty Much The Scariest Thing I'd Ever Thought Of.

I Play A Mean Harmonica

I’ve Been Listening To How The Roman Empire Fell And All I Can Say Is, It Didn’t Fall Nearly Fast Enough!”-iggy

We’ll Be Back!” He Snarled. It Was Really Ari’s Voice. Boy, You Just Can’t Kill People Like You Used To,” Said Fang

It Sucked, But It Was Way Cool At The Same Time," Gazzy Said. "i Felt Like The Blue Angels!" "yeah, Except The Blue Angels Are An Extremely Well Funded, Well Equipped, Well Trained, Well Fed, And No Doubt Squeaky-clean Group Of Crack Navy Pilots," I Said. "and We're A Bunch Of Unfunded, Unequipped, Semitrained, Not Nearly Well Fed Enough, And Filthy Mongrel Avian-human Hybrids. But Other Than That, It's Exactly The Same.

We're Famous" Iggy Whispered So Low That Fang Could Barely Hear Him. "so's Swine Flu" Fang Whispered Back.

Basically, I Have Two Speeds.... Hostile Or Smart-aleck. Your Choice.

Yeah,” Said Iggy. “but What Now? Let’s Do Something Fun.” I Guess Being On The Run From Bloodthirsty Erasers And Insane Scientists Wasn’t Enough Fun For Him. Kids Today Are So Spoiled.

When I Write I Pretend I'm Telling A Story To Someone In The Room And I Don't Want Them To Get Up Until I'm Finished.

When I Wanted Information, It Was Silent; When I Didn't Want To Hear From It, It Got Chatty. It Was Alost As Irritating As Fang.

The Idea For Maximum Ride Come From The Earlier Books Of Mine Called When The Wind Blows And The Lake House, Which Also Feature A Character Named Max Who Escapes From A Quiet Despicable School. Most Of The Similarities End There. Max And The Other Kids In Maximum Ride Are Not The Same Max And Kids Featured In Those Two Books. Nor Do Frannie And Kit Play Any Part In Maximum Ride. I Hope You Enjoy The Ride Anyways.

A Classroom . People Trying To Stick Me In Classrooms Was Becoming As Predictable And Annoying As People Trying To Kill Me, But With Less-fun Results.

Later," Fang Said To Ella And Dr. Martinez In That Gushy, Hyperemotional, Overdramatic Way He Has.

Love Between Two People Can Last A Long Time If The People Love Themselves Some, And Are Ready To Give Love To Another Person.

People Always Remember The Worst Day Of Their Lifes. It Becomes A Part Of Them Forever.

He Gives My Hand A Tight Squeeze, But That Desperation, That Urgency Between Us Is Gone. No Insecurities. Max And Fang. Fang And Max. No Longer A Question. We Just Are.

Max, You're Acting Like A Child, The Voice Said. You're Above Rebelling Against Your Fate Just To Rebel. You've Got A Date With Destiny. Don't Be Late." I Brushed Some Hair Out Of My Eyes. Is That A Movie Quote? Or Is It An Actual Date? I Don't Remember Destiny Asking Me. I Never Even Gave Destiny My Phone Number.

I Grew Up In A House Full Of Women: My Mother, Grandmother, Three Sisters, And Two Female Cats. And I Still Have The Buzz Of Their Conversations In My Head. As An Adult, I Have More Female Friends Than Male Ones: I Just Love The Way That Women Talk.

I Stood There Watching Phoebe Arrange The Pillows And The Sheets. She Isn't Thinking That I... I Mean, She Doesn't Think That She And I Would... What?

A Lot Of Writers Fall In Love With Their Sentences Or Their Construction Of Sentences, And Sometimes That's Great, But Not Everybody Is Gabriel Garcia Marquez Or James Joyce. A Lot Of People Like To Pretend That They Are, And They Wind Up Not Giving People A Good Read Or Enlightening Them.

Falling In Love

Six Seconds Should Be Rick Mofina's Breakout Thriller. It Moves Like A Tornado.

But What Is Life If You Don't Live It?

"hello, Max," He Said Quietly, Searching My Face. "how Do You Feel?" Which Was A Ten On The 'imbecilic Question' Scale Of One To Ten. "why, I Feel Fine, Jeb," I Said Brightly. "how About You?" "any Nausea? Headache?" "yep. And It's Standing Here Talking To Me."

Let's Face It: Most Of Us Don't Realize It, But We Are Failing Our Kids As Reading Role Models. The Best Role Models Are In The Home: Brothers, Fathers, Grandfathers; Mothers, Sisters, Grandmothers. Moms And Dads, It's Important That Your Kids See You Reading. Not Just Books - Reading The Newspaper Is Good, Too.

One Of The Interesting Things About Ya Books - I Don't Know About Percy Jackson, But I Do Know About 'twilight' And 'maximum Ride': There Are A Lot Of Adult Readers. In Fact, We Released 'maximum Ride' Both As A Paperback For Kids And As A Mass Release For Adults.

There's A Saying I Remember From My Grandmother: One Today Is Worth Two Tomorrows.

Okay, Okay, Okay. I Understood That Pushing The Elevator Button Over And Over Again Would Not Make The Elevator Appear Sooner. But I Couldn't Help Myself

But Then We Have To Leave, Have To. It's Always Been That Way, And It Will Always Be That Way, Jane. That's Just.. How It Works

The Instructor Stared At Me With Cold, Cut-me-no-slack Determination, Then Got Into A Fighting Stance, Holding One Hand Out, Beckoning Me. "i Saw That Movie Too!"i Said."it Was Like The Coolest Movie Of All-" He Launched Himself At Me. That Was When His Day Really Went Downhill.

Assume Nothing, Question Everything.

I Took A Bite Of Cookie And Chewed. “hmmm,” I Said, Trying Not To Spit Crumbs. “clear Vanilla Notes, Too-sweet Chocolate Chips, Distinct Flavor Of Brown Sugar. A Decent Cookie, Not Spectacular. Still, A Good-hearted Cookie, Not Pretentious.” I Turned To Fang. “what Say You?” “it’s Fine.” Some People Just Don’t Have What It Takes To Appreciate A Cookie.

People Always Come Up To Me And Say, 'you Should Do Standup.' It's Nice To Discover Things About Yourself. That Keeps Everything Lively And Fun.

Fang? Are You- Like Max?" Asked Dr. Martinez. "nope,"he Said, Sounding Bored. "i'm The Smart One." I Resisted The Urge To Kick Him In The Shin.

I Was Always A Good Student, But I Didn't Read That Much Until I Was 18 And I Was Working My Way Through College.

What Are You Guys Doing? If You Anted Me To Take A Shower, All You Had To Do Was Pay Me Ten Bucks, Like You Usually Do

How Could You Stop Loving Me?

I Want To Do It Too!" (sitting Motionless) Nudge: "nope, You Stand Out Like A Fart In A Church." Max: (muttering) "appropriately Enough." Iggy: "what About Me?" (stands Still) Max: "no, You're Visible." Iggy: "am Not!" Max: (throws A Pinecone At Him) "could I Do That If I Wouldn't See You?

I Dropped My Voice And Stared Into Her Eyes. I Could Tell She Was Trying Hard Not To Look Away. I Was So Furious I Could Have Cheerfully Ripped Her Head Off. "but You're Going To Find Out, Mom,' I Said Very Softly."and It's Gonna Give You Nightmares For The Rest Of Your Wasted Life." Oh, My God, I Was So Badass. It Was All I Could Do To Not Give A Mwa Ha Ha!

What Are They Teaching These Thugs? -why Are There So Many Of Them? -what Is The Institute For Higher Aeronautics? -how Many Of The Are There? There Are Only Six Of Us! Why? -why Is Dc Public Transportation So Weird? -why Don't We Mug Those Eraser Goons For Money More Often? -fang's Blog

If You're In The Room, I Want To Be Next To You. If You're Gone, I Think About You. You're Who I Want To Talk To. In A Fight, I Want You At My Back. When We're Together The Sun Is Shining. When We're Apart, Everything Is In Shades Of Gray.

It's So Strange. Everything Can Be Going Alone Just Great, And Then One Day, Whack, You're Blindsided-- A Lousy, Crammy Blow You Didn't See Coming.

The Hardest Mysteries To Solve Are The Ones You Come To Near The End, Because There Isn't Enough Evidence, Not Enough To Unravel, Unless Somehow You Can Go All The Way Back To The Beginning - Rewind And Replay Everything.

He Landed 10 Feet Below With A Sickening Crunch-i'm Guessing His Enhancements Didn't Allow Him To Bounce Back Up Like A Ball. We Call That A Design Flaw.

I'm Gonna Barf," I Whispered To Fang,wiping My Sweaty Hands On My Jeans. You'll Be Fine," He Whipered Back. "you Always Are. I'm Gonna Die," I Moaned. You Can't Die," He Said A Hint Of A Smile In His Voice."you're The Indesructible Max.

Just For Fun I Flew In Huge Banking Arcs, Taking Deep Breaths, Enjoying The Feel Of My Newly Weightless Hair. The Stylist Had Called It “wind Tossed.” If Only She Knew.

Walking Over To Iggy, He Poked Him With His Shoe. "does Anysing On You Vork Properly?" Iggy Rubbed His Forehead With One Hand. "well, I Have A Highly Developed Sense Of Irony." Ter Borcht Tsked. "you Are A Liability To Your Group. I Assume You Alvays Hold Onto Someone's Shirt, Yes? Following Dem Closely?" "only When I'm Trying To Steal Their Dessert," Iggy Said Truthfully.

Call Me Crazy, But There's Just Something Cheering About Seeing Huge Raptors Tear Into Eraser Flesh.

It's For Upset Stomachs,' Dylan Said, Trying To Hide A Smile. He Pointed To The Words In The Box. 'it's To Reduce Gas In Your Digestive System, Not To Create More Gas To Make Explosions.' Gazzy's Face Fell As Iggy Said. 'really? Gazzy Take It! Take The Whole Box!' 'i Second That Emotion!' Said Total.

He Grinned At Me So Unexpectedly I Forgot To Flap For A Second And Dropped Several Feet. "you Looove Me," He Crooned Smugly. Holding His Arms Out Wide, He Added, "you Love Me This Much.

Actually, I'd Already Briefed Him, Early This Morning. Since We Were Up At Six. Since, At Six, The Nurse Had Been Overcome With The Overwhelming Compulsion To Take Fang's Temperature Right Then.

The Trick To Having Obedient, Unquestioning Children Was To Have Death Be The Other Option

Better Readers Are Better Thinkers.

I Offered To Pee On Him, But They Said No

The Funny Thing About Facing Imminent Death Is That It Really Snaps Everything Else Into Perspective.

Every Other Person In The World Would Have Looked At It And Thought, Max Would Hate This. It Was Girly. It Was Beautiful. It Wasn't Made Of Titanium And Black Leather With Spikes On It. But It Seemed Exactly Right, In A Weird, Heart-fluttery Kind Of Way. And I Really Loved It.

It’s, Like, A Safety Bomb.” -iggy

Seize What's Been Handed You. Make Smart Decisions. Make Decisions Because Life Is A Temporary Situation.

Okay, That So Did Me In. Mr. Rock Being All Emotional? Expressing His Feelings?" P. 12

I Muttered A Swear Word To Myself. After I Heard Angel Cussing Like A Sailor When She Stubbed Her Toe, My New Resolution Was To Watch My Language. All I Needed Was A Six-year-old Mutant With A Potty Mouth

Dead Max Was The Biggest Oxymoron In History.

I Choose You, Max. -fang

I Looked Around. As Flock Leader, Everyone Was Expecting Me To Make A Decision. Jeb's Presence Here Would Bring Uncertainty, Chaos, Probably Danger. It Would Perk Up My Day.

They Call Me, The Sharkalator

The Next Morning, Fang And I Broke Up. Now Let Me Get This Strait, I Broke Up With Him. A Split Second After He Broke Up With Me.

I Have An Idea. It’s Risky, And Max Will Kill Us When She Finds Out.” Iggy Raised His Head. “sounds Like My Kind Of Idea.

Denial Is Not Just A River In Egypt.

Always Expect The Unexpected. Right Around Thanksgiving, When The New Alex Cross Will Be Out. It's Called Four Blind Mice And It's A Pretty Amazing Story About Several Murders Inside The Military.

They're Afraid Of Change, And We Must Change. They're Afraid Of The Young, And We Are The Young. They're Afraid Of Music, And Music Is Our Life. They're Afraid Of Books, And Knowledge, And Ideas. They're Most Afraid Of Our Magic.

When Are You Going To Trust Me Max?" Asked Fang. "when I Go Completely Bonkers," I Laughed.

On The Other Hand, Even A Big, '80s Love Van Was Less Noticeable Than Six Flying Kids And Their Talking Dog. So There You Go.

In A Manner Of Speaking. As We Intend For You To Found A Dynasty. And That Dynasty Will Rule Society Until It Has Progressed Enough To-" "overthrow The Dynasty In A Revolutionary, Blood Filled Coup!" Iggy Said Eagerly. We All Looked At Him. "just Saying." He Sheepishly Took A Bite Of Cookie.

I Never Read Detective Novels. I Started Out In Graduate School Writing A More Serious Book. Right Around That Time I Read 'the Day Of The Jackal' And 'the Exorcist'. I Hadn't Read A Lot Of Commercial Fiction, And I Liked Them.

The Best Way To Get Kids Reading More Is To Give Them Books That They'll Gobble Up - And That Will Make Them Ask For Another.

He's Gonna Be Fine," I Confirmed. Can We See Him?" Iggy Asked. Ig, I Hate To Break It To You, But You're Blind.

What Was Fang Going To Do Blog About Max Throwing Herself Into Space So She Wouldn't Have To Kiss Him Again? No Instead He Smashed His Fist Against The Cave Wall Then Grimaced At The Pain And Stupidity Seeing His Bloodied Knuckles

When My Son, Jack, Was Four, I Had To Make A Trip To Los Angeles. I Asked Him If He Was Going To Miss Me. 'not So Much,' Jack Told Me. 'you're Not Going To Miss Me?' I Said. Jack Shook His Head, And He Said, 'love Means You Can Never Be Apart.

Dear God," Said Nudge Under Her Breath, "i Want Real Parents. But I Want Them To Want Me Too. I Want Them To Love Me. I Already Love Them. Please See What You Can Do. Thanks Very Much. Love, Nudge." Okay, So I'm Not Saying We Were Pros At This Or Anything. (max Thoughts)

Um, There's A Girl Meeting Her Friend,' He Went On. 'her Friend Is Giving Her An Ice-cream Cone. Oh-it's Dripping. Huh. It, Uh, Dripped On Her...chest.' Iggy Drew In A Hissing Breath. It's Gonna Stain For Sure,' The Gasman Said. 'that's Chocolate.' Hmm,' Fang Said, Watching, The Girl Dab At Her Chest With A Paper Napkin.

I Vill Eat Nine Snikuhs Bahs Visout Bahfing

My Favorite Books Are Actually Very Complicated - 'one Hundred Years Of Solitude', 'ulysses'.

Living Life Was Like Putting The Beach Into A Jar. The Point Wasn’t To Fit Everything In; It Was To Attend To The Most Important Things First—the Big, Beautiful Rocks—the Most Valuable People And Experiences—and Fit The Lesser Things In Around Them. Otherwise, The Best Things Might Get Left Out

We Went Back To The Weird Institute Building. At Night There Was A Lot More Activity. Erasers Coming In Non-stop. Nice Cars, Nice Clothes, Nice Smug Faces (that I Wanted To Smash!). -fang's Blog

My Name Is Daniel, And This Is The First Volume Of My Life Story, Which, Hopefully, Will Be A Very Long And Distinguished One. Who Should You Read It? Very Good Question. Maybe Because This Is Your Planet, And You Have A Right To Know What's Actually Happening On It.

So There You Have It, The Extent Of My Charms: Brown Hair And Eyes Like Unbarfed Chocolate. I'm A Lucky Girl." -max

It Was Like Meeting Someone Out Of Your Dreams, Or Fantasies, Or A Beloved Character From A Favorite Book.

Is Dere Anysing Special About You? Anysing Vorth Saving?" Besides My Fashion Sense? I Play A Mean Harmonica.

In Case You Guys Didn't Catch Last Week's Episode, I'm Out Of The Flock," I Informed Them. "angel Has No Allegiance To Me. She's Wanted Me Gone For A Long Time. And In Case You Didn't Catch All The Episodes From The Past Year, Angel Is... Unbalanced." "untrustworthy," Fang Seconded. "unpredictable," Jeb Added. "dangerous," Dylan Chimed In.

Don't Ever Leave Me Again." -max I Won't. I Won't Not Ever." -fang

Look, I Guess It's Natural, You're Teenagers, Its Springtime,everyone's Thoughts Are Turning To Birds And Bees And Caterpillars And Moths..... - Iggy

Our Parents Were A Test Tube And A Turkey Baster.

They Turned To Angel. "we Will Call You Little One," The Leader Said, Obviously Deciding To Dispense With The Whole Confusing Name Thing. "okay," Said Angel Agreeably. "i'll Call You Guy In A White Lab Coat." He Frowned. "that Can Be His Indian Name," I Suggested.

I Blame Jeb For Letting You Be Such A Smart Aleck.” I Stared At Her. “i Blame You For Altering My Dna! I Mean, I Have Wings, Lady! What Were You Thinking?

It's Okay, Ig." Said Fang. "just Give It Your Best Shot." Sometimes The Fangster Is Incredibly Supportive, Just Not With Me.

Fang Looked At Me, Hope In His Eyes, And I Smirked At Him. I Save The Huge Emotional Kissy-face For Imminent Death Scenes. This Probably Didn't Qualify.

What Happened To Your Tan?"--fang "it Was Dirt." --max

I Didn't Know A Van Could Go Up On Two Wheels Like That, For So Long." -nudge

At That Moment I Had No Mind To Change, Or Not Change, Or Throw Against The Nearest Wall.

If Fang Is In Any Way Harmed While I'm Gone-if He Gets A Hangnail-you Won't See Another Morning. Are We Clear On That?

Some Poeple Just Don't Have What It Takes To Appreciate A Cookie.

The Whole Duty Of Humanity, From A Christian Perspective Is: 'to Know God And To Show God.'

If You Want To Write For Yourself, Get A Diary. If You Want To Write For Your Friends, Get A Blog. If You Want To Write For Others...become An Author.

Being The Leader Means You Have To Make Life Or Death Decisions Sometimes.

Okay, If This Is What Falling In Love Feels Like, Someone Please Kill Me Now. (not Literally, Overzealous Readers.) But It Was All Too Much - Too Much Emotion, Too Much Happiness, Too Much Longing, Perhaps Too Much Ice Cream.

Falling In Love

Excellent. They Were Flammable.

And Max, I've Put Some Scraps In A Bowl For Your Dog," Mom Said. "it's On The Floor, By The Back Door." The Flock And I Went Still. Uh-oh, I Thought. Total Stomped Up To Me, His Glare Accusing. "a Bowl On The Floor!" He Seethed. "why Don't You Just Chain Me To A Stake In The Yard And Throw Me A Bone!

Dreams Die Hard. And Sometimes They Don't Have To Die At All.

It's Our Job - As Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles - To Find Books Our Kids Are Going To Like.

I Knew My Transformation Was Complete When Dr.keyes Asked, "how Are You Feeling Today, Tandy?" And I Responded "i'm Not

Fang Snorted In Disbelief. "on One Hand, We Have A Mythical Nice Family That Wants To Adopt Me. On The Other, We Have A Gang Of Insane Scientists Desperate To Do Genetic Experiments On Innocent Children. Guess Which Hand I Get Dealt?

I Never Miss A Good Chance To Shut Up

Max?” Said The Gasman. “are Those, Um, Rats?” Lovely. “yes, Those Do Appear To Be Either Rats Or Mice On Steroids,” I Said Briskly, Trying Not To Shriek And Climb The Walls Like A Girly-girl.

Excuse Me? I'm Alive Too.

I'm Way Hot," He Muttered. "but I Don't Feel Sick. Just — Way Hot." Fang

No One Looks Like Fang-dark And Still And Dangerous, Like He's Daring You To Set Him Off. But I'd Seen Him Rocking Angel When She'd Hurt Herself; I'd Seen Him Smile In His Sleep; I'd Seen The Deep, Darkl Ight In His Eyes As He Leaned Over Me... ~max; "max"; Page 24

Look, We're Trying To Explore Other Options To Your Retirement," The Whitecoat Said. "you Might Be Useful To Us In Other Ways." Because We're Not That Useful Dead,"nudge Said Thoughtfully. No," I Agreed. "well, Maybe As Doorstops." The Whitecat Made An "eew" Expression. Or Those Things In A Parking Lot That Show Where The Cars Should Stop," Suggested Iggy. He Closed His Eyes And Went Stiff, To Demonstrate What It Would Look Like. Also An Option.

Dr. Martinez: "i Take It You Don't Want Me To Call Your Parent?" Max: "uh, No." Hello, Lab? May I Speak To The Test Tube Please?

Here's A Freebie: Don't Play Poker With A Kid Who Can Read Minds.

I Believe We Should Spend Less Time Worrying About The Quantity Of Books Children Read And More Time Introducing Them To Quality Books That Will Turn Them On To The Joy Of Reading And Turn Them Into Lifelong Readers.

I Moved To Leave, And Dylan Actually Grabbed Me By My Shoulders. I Was So Surprised That I Forgot To Karate-chop His Elbows And Break His Arms.

Bombs Are Good. I Love Bombs."--iggy

When Your Own Romantic Life Is Falling Apart, Everyone Else's Looks Fabulous.

Do You Like To Eat Things? -i Love Eating. I List It As A Hobby.

You Know Things Have Gone Bad When Military Marches Pass For Pop Music.

I'll Just Ask Now: What Is It About My Persona That Draws Every Insane, Power-hungry Nutcase To Me Like A Magnet?

I'm Not A Writer's Writer. I'm Not A Craftsman. I Could Be, And That Would Be A One-book-a-year Operation.

All Genders?' Whispered Nudge. 'aren't There Just The Two' I Shrugged. 'no Idea. Maybe They've Created Others.

Sitting Tight? Holing Up? Waiting For Answers? Those Are Things I'm Not Good At. Planning A Massive Attack Against Mechanical Geeky-like Things When I Was Already Furious And Itching To Kill Something? Piece O'cake

Time For Bed.” I Held My Fist Out. One By One, My Flock Stacked Theirs On Top, And Then We Headed Up Into The Trees To Sleep The Sleep Of The Innocent. Well, Okay, Maybe Not So Innocent. But The Sleep Of The Much Less Guilty Than Others, For Sure.

Save Your World. Love It. Protect It, And Respect It And Don't Let Haters Represent It. Don't Leave The Saving To Anyone Else, Ever, Because, Exhibit A - Why, Hello There - It's Way Too Much For One Person. And If You Want To Skip Out On The Responsibility Train, My Whole Life - And Death - Will Have Been In Vain. It's Yours. It's All Yours For Taking! You're Not Going To Waste It Now, Are You?

Is That Clear?" Said Borcht "as Clear As Pea Soup" I Said

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