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I Am So Beautiful, Sometimes People Weep When They See Me. And It Has Nothing To Do With What I Look Like Really, It Is Just That I Gave Myself The Power To Say That I Am Beautiful, And If I Could Do That, Maybe There Is Hope For Them Too. And The Great Divide Between The Beautiful And The Ugly Will Cease To Be. Because We Are All What We Choose.

-Margaret Cho

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I Am So Beautiful,

Margaret Cho

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I Am So Beautiful, Sometimes People Weep When They See Me. And It Has Nothing To Do With What I Look Like Really, It Is Just That I Gave Myself The Power To Say That I Am Beautiful, And If I Could Do That, Maybe There Is Hope For Them Too. And The Great Divide Between The Beautiful And The Ugly Will Cease To Be. Because We Are All What We Choose.

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I Don't Have Children, And I Am Not Sure If I Have Wanted Them Or Never Wanted Them. It's Weird Not To Be Able To Decide. I Don't Know If I Could Stand That Kind Of Commitment, Or If I Am Really Honest, I Don't Think That I Could Handle Being That Vulnerable To Someone Else.

I Just Think Women Are Funnier Than Men.

Korean Children Get A Lot Of Fuss Made Over Them, I Guess Because Life Was Tough In The Old Country, And It Was A Big Deal If You Survived. There's A Big Party Thrown When You Are 100 Days Old, Followed By Another When You Make It To One Whole Year.

As A Comedian You Are Making Yourself Vulnerable In Order To Make Others Happy.

Make Others Happy

If You Have Sex, It Should Be For You, Not For The Other Person.

People Have A Lot Of Shame And Suffering Around It And I Felt That The Best Thing I Could Do Was To Share My Experiences, Which I Have Been Doing For A Long Time, And Let People Know That Of All The Things That I've Endured.

There's Lot Of Social Censorship Now, Especially In This Era Of Ubiquitous Social Media.

My History In Show Business Spans Over A Quarter Of A Century, And I Have Seen Many People In The Industry Struggle With Coming Out, Only To Find Much More Success After They Finally Did.

I Was Raised To Be Self-conscious About Weight. Then As I Got Older And Started Doing Television, It Became A Career Issue, Like, 'you Have To Lose Weight Or You'll Lose That Job.'

I Want To Get Married But I Look At Husbands The Same Way I Look At Tattoos. I Want One, But I Can't Decide What I Want, And I Don't Want To Be Stuck With Something I'd Grow To Hate And Have Surgically Removed.

I Think If Somebody Does Something Stupid, It's Okay To Make Fun Of Them, But [celebrities] Have Also Gotten Very Conscious About Social Media, Kind Of Like The Catholic Church In The 1500s.

It's Hard To Find Peace With Your Thighs, But When They Chafe, Try To Be Grateful For Them. Your Thighs Let You Run And Get You Where You Want To Go. I Have Not Just Thigh Peace But Thigh Happiness, And It Begins With Thigh Gratitude.

Privacy And Security Are Those Things You Give Up When You Show The World What Makes You Extraordinary.

I’m Not Playing The Race Card. I’m Playing The Rice Card.

If I'm Talking To A Guy Who's Straight And Cute And Single, I'm Like 'are You A Unicorn?'

If Public Figures Came Out Of The Closet, Then The Lgbt Kids Who Saw Them On Tv Would Feel Safe, Before They Even Knew Why They Felt Dangerous. Maybe If Enough People Came Out Of The Closet, Gay Kids Would Never Feel Dangerous. Maybe We Could Have A World Where We Could All Just Live. We May Not All Agree, But Why Can't We Just All Live?

Where Do People Get Off Telling People What To Do? It's Their Bodies. If You Legalized Sex Work And Legally Protected The Sex Workers, You Wouldn't See Anything Like Human Trafficking. All Of That Would Be Obliterated.

I'm Always Too Fat. And I Always Look Terrible. But I Love The Theater Of The Red Carpet.

I Love New York. I Love Working Here.

I Love New York

That It Is Not The People Who Really Feel That Way, But It Is People Who Have The Most Money To Fire Up These Propaganda Campaigns, These Like, Basically These Lies That They Are Willing To Lie To The Public In Order To Manipulate Them Into Doing What They Want. And To Me It Doesn't Make Any Sense.

No Matter What These Terrorists Do, I Refuse To Be Terrorized. All This Requires Is Just A Few Alterations In Our Day To Day Lives. For Example, My First Instinct When I Receive An Envelope Full Of White Powder... Is To Snort It! I Just Won't Do That This Time!

And If The Problem [with Contraception] Is Promiscuity, Then Why Does The Immense Popularity Of Viagra Go Unchecked? Doesn't It Make More Sense To Leave The Bullets Out Of The Gun Than To Try To Avoid Being Shot? Especially When The Gun Is An Old Musket, And You Have To Clean It Out And Tamp Down Gunpowder, Melt Down Scraps Of Lead And Pour It Into A Mold, Wait For It To Cool - Only To Have It Take Forever To Finally Go Off?

When You Feel Powerful, You Are Willing To Stand Up For Your Rights, You Are Willing To Stand Up For What You Believe In, You're More Willing To Stand Up And Be Counted.

Im Not A Mom, But I Think The Word Mother Is About Wisdom.

My Family Has Been Deeply Affected By The Split Of Korea, Which Divided It In Half, Basically, Before I Was Born. There's No Way To Connect With My Family Now Who Are In North Korea Because It's So Isolated. We Don't Even Know Who Is Still There And Who Is Alive, And If They Are, What They Are Doing. Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle This Totalitarianism.

Love Is The Big Booming Beat Which Covers Up The Noise Of Hate.

Now On Facebook I Have All These 'friends' Who Used To Bully Me, And They're Like, 'we're So Proud! We Love You!' They Come To Shows And Want To Take A Picture, And They're Like, 'don't You Remember Us?' And I'm Like, 'i'm Sorry, I Don't.' And I Feel Bad, But I Feel Good.

I Don't Want To Bring Myself Down To Place Where There Are Hard And Fast Rules. In General I Try To Be Compassionate, But That Is Dependent On The Moment Ultimately.

I Love Drugs, But I Hate Hangovers, And The Hatred Of The Hangover Wins By A Landslide Every Time.

I Want Jesus To Come Back And Say 'thats Not What I Meant'" -

You Didn't Hear Yello Until Later In The Night In The Bondage Clubs. Things Would Start Getting Crazy And That's When You'd Hear Yello. It Was Bad.

I Think The Best Way To Get Over Your Body Issues Is To Just Flaunt Your Body At Every Opportunity.

I Have 3 Dogs Myself - I Actually Have A Kennel License In Order To Do So. I Love Them So Much I Couldn't Imagine My Life Without Them.

I Went To A Performance-art High School, And A Teacher There Was Signing Me Up For Open-mic Nights At The Comedy Club. I Think About It Now, And I Think, 'well, That May Be Inappropriate,' But It Was Great!'

I Think It Is Time For All Babies To Let Us Know Who They Want For President.

The Only Thing That Was Sort Of Asian [as A Role Model] Was Hello Kitty. I Don't Want To Model Myself After Hello Kitty. She Has No Mouth.

I'm A Survivor. But I'm Also Victim, Too. Surviving Has The Connotation That You've Been Through It, You Lived Through It And That's Wonderful - But A Victim Is What I Was. "survivor" Is The More Healing Way To Look At It.

I've Always Been An Ajumma, But When You Get Older, The Culture We Were Brought Up In Works In Our Favor Where Aging Is Good, Combatting The Hollywood Idea That Aging Is Bad. I'm Very Grateful For That.

I Have A Song About How Much I Hate Emojis And The Lazy Thinking Of People Who Use Them. I Wish That More People Had Respect For The English Language.

It's Good To Be Able To Laugh At Yourself And The Problems You Face In Life. Sense Of Humor Can Save You.

Humanity Is A Natural Foil For Inhumanity, And Humanity Is What Will Ultimately Keep Us Going When All Else Has Failed.

Try To Love Someone Who You Want To Hate, Because They Are Just Like You, Somewhere Inside, In A Way You May Never Expect, In A Way That Resounds So Deeply Within You That You Cannot Believe It.

I Am So Beautiful, Sometimes People Weep When They See Me. And It Has Nothing To Do With What I Look Like Really, It Is Just That I Gave Myself The Power To Say That I Am Beautiful, And If I Could Do That, Maybe There Is Hope For Them Too. And The Great Divide Between The Beautiful And The Ugly Will Cease To Be. Because We Are All What We Choose.

Comedy Is A Noble Art. And Every Comedian Who Does Anything Is Serving A Noble Purpose.

The Incognito Of Lower Class Employment Is An Effective Cloak For Any Dagger One Might Wish To Hide.

Sex In General, For Me, Is A Lot Of Different Aspects Of Humanity, Not Just My Relationships. It's My Relationship To Myself And My Body.

The First Thing You Lose On A Diet Is Brain Mass.

Inspirational Weight Loss

In The Early '90s, There Was Such A Limited Idea Of What You Could See On Tv.

I've Worked With Incredible Producers Who Have Also Taken My Voice And Brought It To Another Level. I Think I Have Some Natural Abilities, But It's The Technique That I've Been Learning From The Best That Keeps Me Going. I'm Really Honored To Do It.

I Punished Myself And Avoided My Reflection In Mirrors And Any Windows. I Would See Myself Reflected Back, And I Would Look Away, Trying To Pretend I Didn't Exist, Because I Hated Myself So Much.

Usually, If You Smile At Them And Show Some Interest In The Toy, They Will Give It To You. That's A Straight Up Democrat Move!

No Wonder All The Great Comedians Had Such Destructive Private Lives. ... After You Get The Audience Into That Kind Of Frenzy, And You Are Being Worshiped Like The False Idol You Are, How Do You Leave The Stage And Transition Back Into Real Life? ... What Is There Left To Do But Set Yourself On Fire?

I'm Very Much A Stand-up Comedian In My Heart. That's Really What I Do. Now I'm Trying To Incorporate All Of The Different Elements Of My Work As A Performer, And Use It As A Stand-up Comedian.

For Me To Be Ten Pounds Thinner Is A Full-time Job, And I Am Handing In My Notice And Walking Out The Door!!

Sexual Fulfillment Goals, To Make Them Happen, You Have To Work On Them As A Project. I Don't Think It's A Bad Thing.

To Be A Feminist Is To Be Alive.

You Have To Constantly Recreate Yourself In Show Business, Which Is A Very Fast Thing, Especially Now With The Tremendous Speed Of Social Media. There Are So Many Personalities, So Many Different Kinds Of Comedy That You Can Access, So It’s Definitely Important To Stake Your Claim And Say Who You Are.

I Love Fashion, I'm Actually A Pretty Talented Seamstress, So I Can Make Stuff For Myself, But That's Really Time-consuming.

Silence Equals Nonexistence. If I Don't Raise My Voice, It's Like I Never Existed.

My Parents Never Really Had That Much Money, So I Kind Of Live In The Same World That They Do.

I Think That Reaching Out To Kids That Feel Really Isolated Is A Life Saving Gesture That We Have A Responsibility As Older Queers To Do.

I Grew Up A Witness To Gay Politics In Its Early Days. I Remember Seeing Harvey Milk And Been Moved By Him.

I Always Wonder Why Republicans Hate Gay Marriage, Because They Certainly Don't Hate Gay Prostitutes.

A Lot Of The Actresses Who Were Around When I Started, I Don't Know Where They Are. Comics Stick Around.

I Always Thought That People Told You That You're Beautiful-that This Was A Title That Was Bestowed Upon You. [...] I Think That It's Time To Take This Power Into Our Own Hands And To Say, "you Know What? I'm Beautiful. I Just Am. And That's My Light. I'm Just A Beautiful Woman."

The Stuff I Do And Say Onstage I Can Do Easily. As A Performer, That Comes Easily. But Being Social Offstage, It's Not Easy For Me.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. ... I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

Political Correctness Sometimes Does Great Work When It Helps Equalize The Playing Field When It Comes To Language, But It Does A Great Disservice When It Tries To Silence A Person Of Color.

Comedy Is A Noble Art.

I Think That Sometimes People [who Overreact Or Lash Out] Will Hang On To Their Point Just Because They're So Embarrassed That They Made It. They Won't Set It Down Because They Are The Authors Of These [disproportionate Responses] And They Have A Lot To Be Embarrassed About.

Try To Have A Good Day Today, Wherever You Are, Whatever You Do, Whoever Is Near, If No One Is Near. Try To Be Happy, Because You May Not See Tomorrow. There Is Someone This Morning, Who Didn't Wake Up, Who Will Never See This Day. Try To Feel Lucky That This Is Not You.

I Am Into Belly Dancing. I Used To Only Hang With Comics. Now I Have Friends Who Are Dancers, And My Whole House Has A Harem Feel.

It's Not The Best Between My Family And Me. There Are So Many Crimes Left Unpunished, Debts Unpaid, White Elephants In The Middle Of The Room That No One Will Even Offer A Peanut To. We Are In The Red, Emotionally Speaking.

Like The Birth Of Venus, The Song [yello "oh, Yeah"] Denotes The Birth Of The Bro. The Song Just Reminds Me Of Bros Looking Out Over Lowered Ray-bans. It Birthed A Negative Sexual Revolution. I Was Going To A Lot Of Bondage Clubs At The Time And They Did Play This Song. The Song I Associate More Is That Horrible Enigma Song With The Gregorian Chant. There's Something Good Buried In That Song And I Might Not Hate It As Much If I Hadn't Been A Sex Worker.

I Urge You All Today, Especially Today During These Times Of Chaos And War, To Love Yourself Without Reservations And To Love Each Other Without Restraint. Unless You're Into Leather.

I Didn't Appreciate The Young Woman That I Was, Or My Young Beauty, Because I Was So Obsessed With The Fact That I Felt Fat. It's Never Good To Add To Anybody Else's Suffering. It's An Important Topic To Really Get The Gravity And The Importance Of - Dealing With Dignity.

People Are Really Terrified Of Me. I Don't Know Why, I'm Very Nice, But People Are Very Intimidated By Me.

I Don't Like Catchphrases Either. A Current One Would Be, "bye, Felicia." It's Used So Much That We Don't Even Know The Origin Anymore.

I Have Learned To Love That Which Is Meant To Harm Me, So That I Can Stand In The Way Of Those Who Are Less Strong. I Can Take The Bullets For Those Who Aren't Able To.

Ugly. Is Irrelevant. It Is An Immeasurable Insult To A Woman, And Then Supposedly The Worst Crime You Can Commit As A Woman. But Ugly, As Beautiful, Is An Illusion.

That's The Nature Of Comedy. You Always Want To Be Improving And Growing And Changing With What's Happening In The World. That's When Comedy Is Most Effective.

I Started [performing] So Young That It Might Have Just Been That I Kind Of Had To Grow Up And Make People Understand That I Was Worth Listening To, Even Though I Was A Child.

I Could Never Make A Joke About Somebody Unless I Could Say It To Their Face And They'd Laugh.

I Was Lucky. I Always Had Really Great Friends In My Personal Life, People Always Just Knew Who I Was. It Wasn't Until I Was In Show Business Where That Sort Of Changed Or Shifted At First. I Have Always Had A Great Support Network. I Have Had A Lot Of Really Wonderful, Close Friends.

When It Comes To Children, My Mom Doesn't Believe In Borders. She Loves All Children, And That's A Good Example Of Mothering The World. I Need To Do That, But Before I Can, I Need To Get Over My Fear Of Kids In The First Place.

[smoking] Was A Comfort, An Occupation, A Drug, A Casual Habit, A Distraction, A Way To Not Eat, A Way To Not Pay Attention, A Way To Not Feel.

Homophobia Is A Tough One. In Some Places It's Actually Very Ok To Be Homophobic. Comedy Clubs In General Are Very Unsafe Spaces For Lgbt, For Women, For Asian People. So My Goal In Comedy Has Sort Of Been To Make This A Safe Space For People Who Were Like Me.

My Attitude Toward Peace Does Not Depend On Which War We Are Discussing. I Think That Words Should Do The Work Of Bombs.

Some People Are That - More Than A Parent, More Than A Role Model, More Than Anything Less Than A Religion.

Tattooing Is My Social Life, Too, So Most Of My Time Is Taken Up With That. People Like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis At Everlasting Tattoo.

Silence Is So Often Applauded And Those Who Speak Out Are Often Called Tasteless.

I've Always Wanted To Have Tattoos. I Grew Up Around People Who Were Very Tattooed. It's A Self-expression Thing; It's Also Helped Me Claim My Body As My Own. So I Think It's Really Positive. It's Really Joyful.

As A Child, I Had A Lot Of Older Gay Men Taking Care Of Me. There's A Trust There. I Feel Like Little Girls And Old Gay Men Together - There's A Safety. They Make A Shield From All Of The Bad Things They've Experienced In The World. They Make A Home Together. There Are No Songs About That. I Don't Know If You Remember, But There Was A Show A Long Time Ago Called 'love, Sidney.'

White Fragility! White People Are So Sensitive About Race And Racial Conversations. I Feel Like I'm Always Walking On Eggshells When I'm Around White People.

[fur] Is Really Ridiculous. It's Outrageous. We're Not Living In Igloos. We Don't Need To Trade Pelts Anymore. There Is This Diabolical Idea That Fur Is Fashionable. It's Not. It's Death. There's No Excuse For It.

When People Think The World Of You, Be Careful With Them.

My Boyfriend And I Live Together, Which Means We Don't Have Sex - Ever. Now That The Milk Is Free, We've Both Become Lactose Intolerant.

I’m Not Going To Die Because I Failed As Someone Else. I’m Going To Succeed As Myself.

Funny Inspirational

I Think That When You Are Accused Of Being In Bad Taste It Can Be Quite Positive. You're Challenging The Notions Of Polite Society. I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

If You Are A Woman, If You're A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are A Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World. And It's Going To Be Really Hard To Find Messages Of Self-love And Support Anywhere. Especially Women's And Gay Men's Culture. It's All About How You Have To Look A Certain Way, Or Else You're Worthless... For Us To Have Self-esteem Is Truly An Act Of Revolution, And Our Revolution Is Long Overdue.

Snooki Is Really Beautiful And Looks Quite Like Elizabeth Taylor In 'cleopatra.' She Has The Same Bone Structure. I'm Kind Of Obsessed With 'jersey Shore.' People Don't Give Them Enough Credit For How Entertaining They Are.

I Had Been Taking Various Lessons. I've Also Had A Lot Of Incredible Singers Give Me A Ton Of Great Advice. From Cyndi Lauper, Who Kind Of Taught Me The Basics, And I've Also Worked With Bird. She's A Tremendous Coach And She Often Coaches The Contestants On 'american Idol.' I've Had A Great Amount Of Support.

I Don't Know Why It's Anyone's Business! People Do What They Need To Do. I Did It, And It Was Nowhere Near As Traumatic As Being Raped. I Was So Numb For So Long That Sex Work For Me Was Not A Big Deal.

People At Shows Have Told Me That They've Shown My Videos To Their Parents And Families To Help Them Come Out Of The Closet. It's Very Inspiring That Comedy Can Do That And Can Help People Cope With Everyday Life And Challenges Through Humor.

For Women In My Family, In Korean Culture, Women Are Really Valued In Their Youth, And Then When They Get Older, It's Like They Almost Become Irrelevant.

My Life Is Anything But Typical.

People Are So Sensitive About Race That They Can't Hear Someone Speaking About Their Life In A Very True Way, Or Doing Satire Or Political Parody.

I Will Never Stop Complaining.

Stop Complaining

It Makes It Very Hard To Say What You Believe In And Not Be Attacked For It. And It's Not Fair; I'm Korean, But I'm Not Supposed To Talk About My Experience And My Life? It's Unaccepting.

I Was About 17 Or 18 And There Were A Lot Of Clubs And Dancing. It Was The Beginning Of Rave Culture And A Lot Of Ecstasy. Because Of All The Drugs, There Are Certain Songs That Make Me Feel High.

I Knew I Was Crazy Because I Was Watching Jesus Christ Superstar And The Part Where Jesus Carries The Cross Up The Mountain, I Actually Said To Myself, "wow! That Must Be A Really Good Workout! Yeah, Because You're Doing Arms And Cardio!"

Try To Put Your Happiness Before Anyone Else's, Because You May Never Have Done So In Your Entire Life, If You Really Think About It, If You Are Really Honest With Yourself.

I Thought I Was So Ugly For So Long, And I Wasted So Much Of My Life On This Dumb Notion.

People Like Sean Penn, He Is Someone That Is Politically Progressive And Yet Is Still At The Top Of His Game In The Industry. So I Love That He Is Out There Just Virtually Shaming All The People That Voted For Prop 8. He Was A Really Great Example Of A Straight Ally, Someone Who Used His Talent And Used His Ability To Further Our Cause, Not Just For Political Progressiveness But Also Specifically For Gay Marriage And Specifically For Harvey Milk's Entire Life.

My Inclination During Sex Always Is To Use Sex Toys. That's Not Something Men Are Often Used To.

You Have To Adhere To A Certain Morality, A Certain Level Of Decorum, Or Else You'll Be Punished And Labeled.

I Think Sex Is Really About The Self, And Really A Self-reflection.

All The Songs On Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Are The Encapsulation Of Heterosexual Love. I Have Different Records For Gay Sex.

It's Always Considered Bad Taste To Comment On A Tragedy Right When It's Happening, But I Love When Something Is Considered Too Soon To Talk About Because Then You Can Blast Past That Social Censorship To Get Into Something Real.

I Don't Really Know What 'selling Out' Is Exactly. I Would Sell Out If I Could, But Nobody's Buying It. I Would Love To Go Mainstream, But My Comedy Is Too Edgy. It's Always Too Dirty. It's Always Too Filthy. I'm Dying To Sell Out. But I Love Doing Comedy, I Love Touring, And I Think I Would Do Everything For Free.

I Don't Think I'm Gay. I Don't Think I'm Straight. I Think I'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

One Of My First Jobs Was On A Lesbian Cruise. I Was The Ship Comedian For The Lesbian Love Boat.

I Think That All Bodies Are Beautiful In Millions Of Different Ways But I Get Down On Myself Too!

If You Say You're Not A Feminist, You're Almost Denying Your Own Existence.

I Feel Like This Song [yello, "oh Yeah"] Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio. There Was Probably No Thought Behind It; They Were Just Playing With Some Samples And Threw It Together. I Feel Like There's No Dream Behind The Song. Usually There's A Dream Or Some Kind Of Passion Attached To A Song. This Song Feels Very Empty. It Made A Lot Of Money For The Songwriters But At The Expense Of Culture.

I Don't Like To Criticize Music And I Had A Really Hard Time Picking Out The Song I Hate For This Because I End Up Seeing And Working With Musicians All The Time.

It's Completely Unsexy [yello, "oh Yeah" 1985]. It Does Capture That Weird '80s Materialism And "we're Gonna Get It On Now" Vibe. But It's A Very Juvenile Approach. It Also Became A Weird Signal For Comedy, In The Sense That When You Heard The Song, It Meant Comedy Was Happening On Screen. I Feel Like This Song Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio.

I Use My Work As Catharsis. That's Often The Best Thing That We Can Do, Is To Allow Ourselves To Rage Because It's So Rare That We Get To. We're Told To Forgive - I Don't Want To! I Don't Want To Forgive My Abuser! I Don't Care To And I Don't Like That Assumption That Forgiveness Makes Me A Better Person. It's Not Authentic To Me, My Feelings And What I Need. But Everyone Has Their Own Way.

Since I Became A Dancer, I Have Felt Much Better About Myself.

Things That Are In "bad Taste" Are Often Renegade And Rebellious. They Go Against The Status Quo, And The Laws Of Decorum And Modesty. And That Can Be Really Thrilling.

When We're Talking About Feminism, I Get Sort Of Lost In The Argument. Because As A Woman Of Color, I Don't Know Where I Belong In This Argument. Where Do I Say, 'i Would Be Happy To Have Less Money'? How Do You Fight For Your Rights When I'm Super-grateful To Be Here At All?

I Don't Like People Telling Other People What To Do. Sex Work For A Lot Of Women Is Really Important, Especially In Countries Where Women Don't Have A Lot Of Power. Here We Can Have At Least Some Form ... Of Making Money.

We Women Are Constantly At War With Our Bodies, It Is Hard To Find Amnesty For Ourselves.

I Don't Want To Hurt Anybody Because Of Their Looks. That's Been Used To Hurt Me So Much.

I Really (became) Very Independent. I Was Start(ed) To Write One-woman Shows And Mak(e) Films And To Me I Think I Really Felt Like My Choice (was) More Important Than Any Kind Of Career Goal.

We Must Know Who We Are, So We Can Know What We Want, So We Don't End Up Wanting The Wrong Thing And Get It And Realize We Don't Want It, Because By Then It's Too Late. We Are Powerful Enough That We Can Manifest Anything Into Our Lives. To Use This Power With Great Care And Love Is The Secret To Living A Happy Life.

In My Life, I Don't Wear Makeup, I Don't Care About Any Of The Trappings Of The "feminine," Or How I Look In Photographs. To Me, It's Irrelevant, Which I Think Is Really Shocking To People In The Industry That I'm In, Because It's Like, "you Should Always Look Good", But I Honestly Don't Care. It's Not Important To Me.

I Always Felt Like An Outsider Growing Up. In School, I Felt Like I Never Fit In. But It Didn't Help When My Mother, Instead Of Buying Me Glue For School Projects, Would Tell Me To Just Use Rice.

That's Part Of Being An Artist; You Have To Be That Sensitive.

Being An Artist

I Have So Much Hate That It Has Turned Into Love.

People Drain Me, Even The Closest Of Friends, And I Find Loneliness To Be The Best State In The Union To Live In.

If You Are A Woman, If You Are A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World.

I'm Lucky That I Have Good Genetics. Like You Said, It Just Gets Better As I Get Older.

You Have To Have A Very Holler-y Sensibility. So They [the Audience] Know There's Something Worth Listening To.

The Best Tattooists Are In San Francisco, And They're Kind Of Like My Family Now. I'm Always Excited To Come Back To San Francisco.

That We Are Selfish Gives Us The Opportunity To Gain The Power So That, In Time, We Might Be Selfless. To Give Back What We Have Learned. To Teach What We Know, And Shorten The Journey For Those Who Will Come After Us.

That Notion That We're In The Post-racism, Post-sexism World Is So Not True.

Comedy Is Quite A Difficult Place For Queers And For Women.

I Mean, What's Great About Touring Is That's What You Do. You're In A Constant State Of Motion And Then You Stop To Do A Show And You Move Onto The Next City. All You Have To Do Is Do The Show. That's The Only Responsibility That You Have.

I Think I Started Out Okay But With Aids Came A Great Deal Of Silence About Gayness And This Period Of Lose And Morning, But At The Same Time A Kind Of Feeling Like You Wanted To Get Back Into The Closet Because Being Gay Was Such A Terrible Thing At That Point.

I Helped Deliver One Of My Best Friend's Children. I Just Was So Amazed By My Friend, Because She Was Not Just A Woman, She Was Not Just A Mother. At That Moment She Was Creation; She Was Life; She Was God. And As I Looked In Her Eyes, Boom! Her Pussy Exploded.

I Think That Gay People Should Have The Right To Get Married By Elvis Like Everybody Else.

If You Really Care About Children Then Why Would You Want To Keep Families From Adopting Them?

I Do Love The Road, Because For Me, The Road Is Very Comfortable, And It's Very Much What I've Always Wanted To Do. It's One Of The Most Appealing Things About Comedy For Me, So I Do Really Have An Affection For It.

In America, I'm A Foreigner Because Of My Korean Heritage. In Asia, Because I Was Born In America, I'm A Foreigner. I'm Always A Foreigner.

There's Vulnerability - So I Have To Make Sure The Audience Is Certain That I Know What I'm Doing. There's Vulnerability There Because My Heart Is Open, But At The Same Time I Definitely Have A Lot Of "weapons" At My Disposal. I Have All The Language, I Have All Of The Moment - I Have All Of That To Spar With Somebody, To Take Anything On.

Kim Kardashian Is A Kind Of Archetype. But She Owns Her Beauty And Is Tremendously Successful. There's No Tragedy, There's No Drug Story. There's Just Her And Her Fame And Her Beauty. But Anna Nicole Created That Template Of Somebody That You'd Want To Watch On Reality Tv. Somebody That You'd Want To Invite Into Your Home Or As A Role Model, In Terms Of Beauty And Lifestyle And Glamour.

To Me, Marriage Is Really Important And What We Build Families On. That's Why Gay Marriage Is Really Important.

Being Called Ugly And Fat And Disgusting To Look At From The Time I Could Barely Understand What The Words Meant Has Scarred Me So Deep Inside That I Have Learned To Hunt, Stalk, Claim, Own And Defend My Own Loveliness.

I Think Self-deprecation Is Such A Disease, And I Want To Cure Everybody Of It And So That's My Contribution.

I Am Always Writing No Matter What I Am Doing And No Matter What It Is For.

I Can't Drag Myself Away From 'final Cut Pro.' It Is A Digital Video Editing System. I Am Obsessed With It, But I Am Always Away From Home, And I Can't Use It.

Strange, There's So Much Religion In The World, But Only Enough To Make Us Fight Over Who Is Right, Not Enough To Make Us Love One Another.

As A Woman Of Color You Have Little More Permission To Go Deeper And Question Things Because Your Identity, In A Way, Is A Shield. But If You Come At It From A Minority Status, My Person, Who I Am, Softens The Blow Of Whatever It Is That I'm Saying, Because I Am That.

I Have A Box Of Awards In The Closet. I Think It Is Weird To Put Them Out. I Might If I Had An Emmy Or Oscar, But I Don't.

Your Goal Is To Write That Masterpiece. Yello's Masterpiece Was "oh Yeah." Whatever I Say About The Song Doesn't Matter, Because It Has A Huge Impact On How We Remember The Era.

Most Conservatives Also Believe In The Death Penalty, But Not Abortion, Which Proves They Like To Procrastinate.

Comedy Was All I Ever Wanted.

I Don't Understand The Whole Christian Conservativism Doesn't Make Sense To Me Because I Was Raised Very Christian And Its Kind Of An Odd Thing But My Parents, My Family Is Also Very Conservative In Their Own Way But I Understand The Bible And I Studied Christianity Very Well And I Don't See Where The Hatred Of Gays Comes From Because It Really Defeats Christ's Purpose.

I Definitely Support Free Speech.

The Label Of Tasteful Or Tasteless Is So Often Used To Silence People And To Maintain The Status Quo. It's Used To Shame People For Not Following The Commonly Accepted Routine, For Not Aligning Themselves With The Status Quo.

Its Funny Because When I Did Feel Like I Came Out And I Just Felt Like I Was Being Truthful To Myself, (it Was At) That Point I Became Very Successful. So You Know, It Took A True Kind Of Facing That Truth Of Myself And Being Honest, That Was When The Real Kind Of Fame Or Whatever That Kind Of Stuff Happened For Me.

We Should Retain Our Anger In The Face Of Injustice And Not Be Shamed By That.

Just Because You Are Blind And Unable To See My Beauty Doesn't Mean It Does Not Exist.

The Intention Is To Make People Laugh, To Make People Happy. It's Unselfish, It's In The Service Of Others, And As A Comedian You Are Making Yourself Vulnerable In Order To Make Others Happy. And It Has A Transformative Power.

Make Others Happy

I Really Love Steve Martin And All The Stuff He Did In The '70s. I Think It's Really Great.

I Don't Like Pot Anymore -- I Forget Why.

Anything Vince Clarke, Whether It's Erasure, Yaz, Or Depeche Mode. It's Basically R&b With Synths. It's Very Sexy Music And Perfect For Gay Sex.

The Power Of Visibility Can Never Be Underestimated.

I Feel Sorry For Anyone That I Am Obsessed With. I Am Worse Than Gum In Your Hair, Very, Very Close To The Roots.

I'm Not A Body Shamer. The Word Fat Has Been Used To Hurt Me My Entire Life.

I'm Really Bad With Trolls Because I Have A Lot Of Really Intense Friends Who Are Not Necessarily Doing Things So Legally. If I Get Trolled, [my Friends Will Send Me] An Email With The Person's Social Security Number, Phone Number, Pictures Of His Family, His Business, His Spouse. I See This Person In His Totality, And I Feel So Bad. I Shouldn't Have That Power.

I Think That Failure Is Just As Important As Success. In A Way, Failure Is A Kind Of Success If You Can Look At It In The Right Way, If You Can Accept It And Enjoy It In The Right Way.

I Loved Everything. I Read Everything. Art And Poetry And Literature And Trash And Sci Fi. I Didn't Know What I Would Become Yet And I Needed To Read To Figure It Out.

I Was In Toronto When They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. I Was In The Airport And There Were These Big Snowboarder Guys And They Had White Masks Around Their Necks, And As Soon As They Saw Me, They Put Their Masks On. So I Went "cough, Cough, Cough... You Wanna Egg Rorr?

I Love Heavily Tattooed Women. I Imagine Their Lives Are Filled With Sensuality And Excess, Madness And Generosity, Impulsive Natures And Fights. They Look Like They Have Endured Much Pain And Sadness, Yet Have The Ability To Transcend All Of It By Documenting It On The Body

Monogamy Is So Weird. Like When You Know Their Name And Stuff.

Thankfully, Beauty Is Easier To Remove Than Apply, And A Swipe Of Demaquillage In The Right Direction And You Are You Once Again.

Right Direction

I Refer To Myself As Gay, But I’m Married To A Man.

Sometimes When We Are Generous In Small, Barely Detectable Ways It Can Change Someone Else's Life Forever.

Sometimes The Only Way To Deal With Horrific Things In Life Is Through A Dark Sense Of Humor.

I Became A Comedian Because I Didn't Want To Be Bullied Anymore. Onstage I Was Safe.

Why Can't All Different Types Of Women Be Considered Beautiful? Why Can't We Can't We All Be Considered Possible Love Interests?

There's A Lot Of Guy Comics Who I Think Are Funny, But I Generally Am More Excited About A Special Or A Show Where There Are Females.

It's Important To Feel Beautiful; It's Political To Feel Beautiful.

I Am A Big Ellen Fan. I Have Been One For Quite A Long Time Now. I Used To Do The Local News Talk Shows With Her In San Francisco, When We Were Both Still Kids.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. We Cannot Change Anything Until We Accept That. I Cannot Do This Alone. I Don't Love Myself Enough To Do It Alone, But I Can Do It If We Have A Pact, If I Am Keeping Up My End Of The Bargain. I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

Often Something That Is In Bad Taste Or Considered To Be In Bad Taste Is Something That's Just Very True But That People Are Unwilling To Discuss Or Comment On.

It Was Hard For Me To Do The Show (all-american Girl) Because A Lot Of People Didn't Even Understand The Concept Of Asian-american. I Was On A Morning Show And The Host Said, "awright, Margaret, We're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate! So Why Don't You Tell Our Viewers In Your Native Language That We're Making That Transition?" So I Looked At The Camera And Said, "um, They're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate."

Native Language

Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle Totalitarianism.

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Werner Heisenberg

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