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How Do I Speak Spanish? Not Too Well. Paz Taught Me A Few Words That, If People Weren't Nice To Me, I Could Tell Them A Few Things. I Got To Study With [chef] Thomas Keller, Who We All Love As A Guy And Jim Had A Relationship With Him At [his Restaurant] The French Laundry.

-Adam Sandler

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How Do I Speak

Adam Sandler

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How Do I Speak Spanish? Not Too Well. Paz Taught Me A Few Words That, If People Weren't Nice To Me, I Could Tell Them A Few Things. I Got To Study With [chef] Thomas Keller, Who We All Love As A Guy And Jim Had A Relationship With Him At [his Restaurant] The French Laundry.

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My Buddies, We've Always Just Tried To Make Each Other Laugh. I Mean, Just Like All Friends Hanging Out - That's The Goal.

My Grandmother Used To Embarrass Me More, When She Would Pick Me Up From School Wearing A Big Fuzzy Hat. I Didn't Like That.

I Like Sitting And Writing With My Buddies.

Never Seen My Friends Do More Push-ups, Trying To Challenge Cruises' Manhood. It Was Like, I Can Be Strong, Too!

Wrap The Turkey Up In Aluminum Foil My Brother Likes To Masturbate With Baby Oil.

A Lot Of Critics Object To What I Do, But I Got Into Comedy To Make People Laugh, And I've Always Worked Hard.

When I Take My Kid To School, All The Parents Stop And Stare.

I'm Just Looking To Make Good Movies And Looking To Be As Good As I Can Be In Them And That's About It. But I Feel Much More Comfortable Doing A Comedy, But The Fact That I Got To Try A Few Dramas, I Feel I've Tested Myself A Little Bit.

The Toughest Part Is That When Your Kid's Upset, You're Upset. You're Rocked Until They're Not Upset. Even When They're Not Upset, You're Like, "i Hope That Doesn't Happen, Down The Line." You're Always Nervous Because You Want Your Kid To Be Happy.

I Think The Reason I Don't Read Is Because, When I'm Reading, I Feel Like I'm Missing Out On Something Else. You Know, What Are My Friends Doing? Where's My Girlfriend?

My Sisters Are Stronger And My Brother's Bigger Than Me.

I'm Not Making Every Decision Due To My Children. But I Do Hope They Never See Some Movies I'm Doing. But I Do Want To Do More Family-friendly Movies.

I Kinda Feel Like An Idiot Sometimes. Although I Am An Idiot, So It Kinda Works Out.

The Only Reason I Got Into Stand-up Was Because My Brother Told Me To. I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Do With My Life. I Was 17 And My Brother Went To A Comedy Club And He Said - You Can Do That.

I'm Not Looking To Get Away From Anything. I Like What I've Done. I Like What I Get To Do And I Enjoy Working With My Friends. I Loved Those Movies, But This Is Incredible.

Eat Turkey All Night Long, 50 Million Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong.

In One Day, I Have Times Where I'm Feeling Great, I Feel Like I Love My Life, And Then 2:30 Rolls Around And I'm The Angriest Man Alive. My Wife Sees It.

Love Of My Life

I Grew Up In A House That Liked To Be Funny. Everybody Liked To Be Funny. My Family's Been...we've Been Enjoying Each Other's Comedy For Years.

On This Lovely, Lovely Hanukkah, Drink Your Gin And Tonica.

My Intention Is Never To Hurt Anybody. I'm Happy When People Are Having A Good Time.

I Don't Like Being On A Horse. That's The Only Negative Of Doing A Western. I Like The Whole Get Up, And I Look Great In A Hat. But I Get Tense Around Horses. So, If They Could Make A Fake Horse, Then I'd Do A Western.

I Guess I Was Maybe In Little League Baseball As Far As I Wanted To Be Good At That. But School, I Certainly Wasn't The Best At That. But Comedy Thing And Making Movies And Stuff, I Love It So Much That I Do Get Driven To Push Myself As Hard As I Can.

I Did Rocks, All This Dumb Stuff. But Now It's Just Trying To Stay Afloat And Just Get Through The Days.

Paul Newman's Half Jewishand Florence Henderson's Half, Tooput Them Together,what A Fine Looking Jew!

I Do Want Children. I Study Dads More. I Watch What They Go Through. I Admire My Father More Than I Ever Did And My Brother And My Sister.

I Think I'm Playing Grown Up Because I Have Kids Now. But I Don't Feel Grown Up Yet.

I Don't Like Being Out In Public Too Much. I Don't Like Going To Bars. I Don't Like Doing Celebrity Stuff.

My Mother Says To Me, When I'm Making A New Movie, She Says, "oh, Is Steve Buscemi In It?" I'd Say, "yeah." And She, "oh, Then It's Going To Be A Good One." I Swear To God, She Says That Every Time. And When I Say Steve's Not In It, She Says, "oh."

I Don't Laugh At Me. I Used To. I Used To Get The Giggles When I'd See Myself. But Now, I See Myself Onscreen, And I Sure Don't Laugh.

I'm Not Great At Bedtime Stories. Bedtime Stories Are Supposed To Put The Kid To Sleep. My Kid Gets Riled Up And Then My Wife Has To Come In And Go, 'all Right! Get Out Of The Room.'

I've Always Liked Older Ladies. I'm Comfortable With It. They Seem To Be Nice. They've Seen It All.

Hanukkah Is...the Festival Of Lights, Instead Of One Day Of Presents, We Get Eight Crazy Nights

It Definitely Has Learning A Lesson About The Way You're Living Your Life. I Wouldn't Compare Our Movie To That, But It Has A Structure Where It's About A Man Who Doesn't Appreciate All That He Has And Finds Out At The End That Life Has Been Great And He Has To Enjoy That.

I've Always Liked Older Ladies, Ever Since My Mother Would Have B'nai B'rith At Our House.

I Was A Big Fan Of Kurt Russell Growing Up And I Always Wanted To Be The Modern Day Kurt Russell.

I Don't Know Who I Touch And Who I Don't. I Work Hard Trying To Make People Laugh. I Try To Do The Kind Of Stuff That Made Me Laugh Growing Up. I Don't Have Any Secrets. I Don't Know The Reasons I've Been So Well Received.

You've Just Got To Give Yourself Time - That's Good Advice I Think. Give Yourself Time To Figure Out What You're Good At And What You're Not Good At.

With The Amount Of Money I Have, It's Difficult Raising Children The Way I Was Raised.

I Never Want Movie Theaters Go Away. It Is The Greatest Time Out On The Town. You Go Out, It's A Great Place To Go, Great Location, Great Hang, Great Date, Good Place To Be With Friends. But As An Actor Who Works Hard At Making Movies, I Am Glad That No Matter What People Can See Your Movie On. It's Hard To Keep A Theater For Long Time; There Are So Many Movies, So When You Leave A Theater, You're Just Glad There's A Life For Your Movie.

We [ With Andy Samberg] Knew Each Other For The Last Few Years, Our Names Are Similar, Our Looks Are A Little Bit Similar, And Our Backgrounds Are Similar. The Judaism Is Quite Similar.

I Choose To Ignore Hell In My Life. When I Was A Little Kid I Asked My Dad "am I Going To Go To Hell?" Because I'd Heard About Hell. And He Said, "nothing You're Gonna Do Will Get You Into Hell." And So I Got To Ignore It.

If It's Something I Feel I Can Do Alright, I Like Being In Those, And Some That I Think Rob Schneider And David Spade Would Be Funnier At Than Me, I Tell Them To Do It. I Don't Have Any Clue How We Decide. There's This Thing, This "click", Actually, One Of My Friends Called Me Up, My Partner Told Me About This Idea That Steve Koren Had. Steve Koren, By The Way, The Guy Who Wrote It With Mark O'keefe, Steve Koren I've Known Since I Was 22. He Was A Page At Saturday Night Live.

How Do I Speak Spanish? Not Too Well. Paz Taught Me A Few Words That, If People Weren't Nice To Me, I Could Tell Them A Few Things. I Got To Study With [chef] Thomas Keller, Who We All Love As A Guy And Jim Had A Relationship With Him At [his Restaurant] The French Laundry.

It's Just Weird That Out Of Nowhere God Said, May The Three Best-looking Guys In Hollywood Have Babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt And Me. It Was Bizarre That God Said, I Want To Make The Planet More Beautiful, And I Got The Call.

Comedy, Such A Lovely Lady, She'll Pick You Up, You Your Feeling Blue.

Kids End Up Seeing My Movies Anyway But Some Of The Mothers Get Mad At Me So I Figured I'd Make One That I Can't Get Yelled At For.

My Movies Just Kind Of Sneak Up On You. I Don't Have To Worry Too Much About What Everybody Is Going To Say. Anyway, I Really Don't Pay Attention To What The World Says About My Movies. I Just Care About What My Buddies Think.

I Prefer Musicals, Because I Am The Best Dancer Who Ever Lived. The Best Plies, The Best Sashays, And By Far The Best-smelling Capezios.

I Enjoy Doing All Different Types Of Movies Even Though I Am The Most Comfortable With Comedy.

I Sing Seriously To My Mom On The Phone. To Put Her To Sleep, I Have To Sing 'maria' From West Side Story. When I Hear Her Snoring, I Hang Up.

I Bought My Parents Some Stuff. That Feels Kind Of Good To Be Able To Do That. I Got Them A Place In Florida. I Think I'm Allowed To Say That - I Hope My Dad Doesn't Get Mad At Me. But I Don't Spend Money On Myself. I Don't Like Myself Enough Yet. But The People I Love, I Like Spending The Cash On Them.

Well I Have A Microphone And You Don't So You Will Listen To Every Damn Word I Have To Say!

I've Got A Hockey Record, I Took Off My Skate And Tried To Stab A Guy, I'm The Only Person Who Ever Tried That.

Back To School, To Prove To Dad That I'm Not A Fool.

My Hobbies Are Run-on Sentences.

Sixth Grade Was A Big Time, In My Childhood, Of Hoops And Friendship, And Coming Up With Funny Things.

Some Of Us Will Never Ever Find True Love. Take, For Instance Me. And I'm Pretty Sure That Guy Right There. And That Lady With The Sideburns. And Basically Everybody At Table Nine.

I Wasn't A Kid Growing Up Thinking, 'one Day I'll Get An Oscar And Make A Speech.' That Wasn't On My Mind.

Of Course, I Peed My Pants, Everyone My Age Pees Their Pants. It's The Coolest.

I Don't Know What Drives Me To Succeed.

When I'm Up There, And I Know The Show's Coming To A Close, In My Head I'm Saying To Myself, Oh Man, You Gotta Get Off And Be A Normal Person Again. That's What I Don't Like So Much.

Wasted Is When You Have A Hankering For Ice Cream.

Most Of The Stuff I Do On The Show Comes Out Of Me Just Trying To Make My Friends Laugh.

I Really Do Enjoy Making Movies And I Try To Test Myself On Occasion With Some Different Stuff.

In High School I Wanted To Be A Rock Star And Was In A Lot Of Bands.

I Don't Know What The Hell I'm Doing; I Like What I've Been Doing. I Believe In What I've Done In The Past; I Hope My Kid Enjoys The Movies I've Made And Enjoys Some Of The Movies In The Future.

I Never Had A Speech From My Father 'this Is What You Must Do Or Shouldn't Do' But I Just Learned To Be Led By Example. My Father Wasn't Perfect.

Sir One More Comment Like That And I Will Strangle You With My Microphone Wire!

I'm Filthy Rich! It's Good To Be Adam Sandler!

I Shouldn't Be Near Vegas And Have Money In My Pocket.

We Just Bought This House. It's Too Big. It's Like 400,000 Square Feet, Or Something. We Got An Indoor Lake And Ski Slope In The House! It's Just Too Big.

I Read To My Kid, But I Can't Stand Reading.

I'm Getting Older, And It Happens. You Don't Care As Much. I Don't Care About Too Much Anymore. I've Got To Think About That A Little Bit.

Well, We're Living In A Material World, And I'm A Material Girl... Or Boy.

I Still Like Some Of The Stuff, Skateboarding. Just Stupid Things.

My Father Wasn't Perfect. He Had A Temper. I Took Some Of That. He Would Snap, But The Older He Got, He Started Calming Down. He Learned About Life, But The Thing That He Taught My Whole Family Was That Family Was The Most Important Thing And, No Matter What, If A Family Member Needs You, You Go And Help Them Out; You Get There.

When I'm Around The Kids I Feel Like I Act The Most Grown-up Just Because You're Supposed To. And I Say Things, Like Every Other Day, That Remind Me Of My Own Parents.

I Wish I Was A Better Athlete. That Would Have Been A Little Cooler, Being A Great Boxer And Walking Into A Room And Going: "i Can Knock Everybody Out!" That's A Good Feeling.

Sitting In A Room Being Forced To Listen To 'the Chanukah Song' Over And Over." [on His Idea Of Hell]

When You're Shooting A Movie You Are Away From Home Most Of The Time. It's An Amazing Thing That We Get To Do What We Get To Do, But You Definitely Are Away From The Family More Than You'd Like To Be.

I'm A Big Fan Of Money. I Like It, I Use It, I Have A Little. I Keep It In A Jar On Top Of My Refrigerator. I'd Like To Put More In That Jar. That's Where You Come In.

I Don't Know What Drives Me To Succeed. I Know I Want To Always Do The Best I Can.i Guess I Was Maybe In Little League Baseball As Far As I Wanted To Be Good At That. But School, I Certainly Wasn't The Best At That.

When The Kids Are Laughing In The Audience, I Tear Up, I'm So Happy I Did A Nice Thing.

I Guess In My House When I Was Growing Up, I Was Comfortable Trying To Be Funny. And My Dad, Of Course, It Bugged Him Sometimes. He Was Trying To Rest, And I Was Constantly Trying To Say Something Stupid To Get A Reaction. But I Like Doing These Movies. You Can Do It In Front Of The Camera And Then It's Over. I Don't Have To Worry About Being In Front Of Too Many People.

If A Girl Breaks Up With Me, I Want Her To Just Die, Just Be Dead. Not 'cause I Hate Her So Much As It's Just Easier For When My Friends Go, 'hey, What Happened?' 'oh, She's Dead. I'd Still Be With Her, But She's Dead. What Can I Do? She Was Loving Me, But She's Dead.'

The Problem With Me, As Far As Getting Married And Having A Family, Is That My Comedy Is So Important To Me. So I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be As Good A Dad As My Dad.

When I Do Stand-up Shows At Colleges, Girls Will Talk To Me After The Show, And That Always Feels Good. I Like Talking To Them.

I Was A Coin Collector.i Didn't Know I Was Nerdy At The Time Until I Felt My 16-d Mercury Dime That Was In Uncirculated Condition Might Be A Panty Dropper, And It Turned Out Not To Be. Then I Stumbled Into Skateboarding, Which Kind Of Was Cooler. But I Wasn't Aware Of What Was Cool. My Dad Wasn't Around So He Couldn't Shake Me And Say, 'drop The Coin Collecting Bit. It's Not Where You Want To Go.' So, That And The Spelling Bee And The Chess, I Think I Had It Figured Out For Myself.

I Finished A Big Book The Other Day. 421 Pages. That's A Lot Of Coloring When You Think About It.

I Don't Know What Drives Me To Succeed. I Know I Want To Always Do The Best I Can. I Never Was Like That As A Kid.

I Still Like Doing Stand-up Now, But It's Not The Same. It Used To Be That I Was Out There With Five Other Comedians. Now I Usually Just Do It Alone.

I Can't Run A Company... I Can't Even Run My Own Life!

The Difference When You Have Kids Comes Up When Someone Wants To Meet You Out After 9:30 At Night. You Consider That Giant Sacrifice. You're Like, "do I Do This? Do I Stay Out Until 10:30 And Be Angry, All Of Tomorrow?

When I Was Younger And Did A Stand-up Gig, It Would Take Me Two Weeks To Recover. Sometimes I'd Get So Panicked That I Would Stutter.

I Mean, I Look At My Dad. He Was Twenty When He Started Having A Family, And He Was Always The Coolest Dad. He Did Everything For His Kids, And He Never Made Us Feel Like He Was Pressured. I Know That It Must Be A Great Feeling To Be A Guy Like That.

Alright, Remember, Alcohol Equals Puke Equals Smelly Mess Equals Nobody Likes You.

I Sang A Song At My Sister's Wedding. My Mother Forced Me Into That, Too. But That One Felt All Right.

My Name Is Adam. My Father's Name Is Adam. Having The Same Name As Your Father, It's Alright Until Your Voice Changes. My Friends Would Always Call Up, 'is Adam There?' My Father Would Say, 'this Is Adam.' My Friends Would Say, 'adam, You Were So Wasted Last Night.'

I Don't Want To Run Around With New People. I Feel Safer With My Friends.

Through My Films I'm Eventually Trying To One Day Tell The Truth. I Don't Know If I'm Ever Going To Get There, But I'm Slowly Letting Pieces Of Myself Out There And Then Maybe By The Time I'm 85, I'll Look Back And Say, 'all Right, That About Sums It Up.

It's Important I Surround Myself With People Who Make Me Happy.

I Say Things, Like Every Other Parent, That Reminds You Of Your Own Parents. One Thing I Do Know About Being A Parent, You Understand Why Your Father Was In A Bad Mood A Lot.

Having A Kid Is Great... As Long As His Eyes Are Closed And He's Not Moving Or Speaking.

I've Always Had Lots Of Friends And My House Was The House They All Hung Out At.

Lots Of Friends

I'm Pretty Hot, Right? Very Hot, If I May Say So Myself. Don't You Feel The Sex I'm Radiating?

Like Every Other Rich Asshole, I Have A Cook And He's In My Trailer Making Food All The Time.

I Had My Moments Of Being Humiliated, And Then I Had Moments Of Doing Something Humiliating. I'm Glad I Lived Out Both Roles.

Chemistry Can Be A Good And Bad Thing. Chemistry Is Good When You Make Love With It. Chemistry Is Bad When You Make Crack With It.

I Immediately Said Yes For One Reason And One Reason Only....netflix Rhymes With Wet Chicks.

I Think When I Bought A House, That's When I Thought I Felt Like That's A Grown Up Thing To Do.

I Definitely Connected To The Fact That Life Gets Out Of Control And You End Up Doing Things And Wishing You Were Doing Other Things Instead.

Sometimes You Can't Prioritise Family And You Feel Guilty.

Put On Your Yarmulkahhere Comes Hannukahso Much Funnukahto Celebrate Hannukah

It's Nice When Little Teams Win.

I Grew Up Cursing A Lot. It Felt Natural. My Parents Told Me To Stop.

As A Kid, I'd Go Into The Bathroom When I Was Having A Tantrum. I'd Be In The Bathroom Crying, Studying Myself In The Mirror. I Was Preparing For Future Roles.

Now That I'm A Parent, I Understand Why My Father Was In A Bad Mood A Lot.

I Wanted To Make Sure That I Did One Movie In My Career That Mothers Hug Me For.

I Still Get Very Scared When I Step In Front Of A Live Audience.

I'm Not Comfortable Being Around Too Many People. I Don't Like Being Out In Public Too Much. I Don't Like Going To Bars. I Don't Like Doing Celebrity Stuff. So Most Of The Characters I Play Are People Who Don't Always Feel Comfortable Beyond Their Small Circle Of Friends.

My Kids Don't Have A Trust Fund, They Have A Debt Fund. And When I Die, They're $4 Million In The Hole.

When I Was Kid, Yeah, My Family, My Parents Wanted Me To Marry A Jewish Girl Because That Was What They Taught Their Children, And Thought It Would Be An Easier Life For Me To Raise A Jewish Kid. And I Have A Jewish Wife, I Have A Jewish Kid. They Seem Pretty Happy About It.

I've Always Wanted To Do A Family Movie.

Bedtime Stories Were Definitely A Big Part Of My Life Because I Was Just So Excited My Father Was Talking To Me.

I Don't Want My Kid To Hear Any Of The Albums That I've Made.

He Has A 5 Year Plan... What Is It, Don't Die?

I've Got The Kid. I Feel A Little More Relief That I Don't Have To Just Think About Myself Too Much.

God Gave Me Some Weird, Beautiful Scent That Makes Men And Women Go Crazy. People Compare It To Carvel. It Is A Whale Of A Smell.

I Don't Want Want To Go To Jail, I'm Fragile.

I've Been Called A Moron Since I Was About Four. My Father Called Me A Moron. My Grandfather Said I Was A Moron. And A Lot Of Times When I'm Driving, I Hear I'm A Moron. I Like Being A Moron.

I'm 31 Now. I Think I'm Beginning To Understand What Life Is, What Romance Is, And What A Relationship Means.

I Know I Want To Always Do The Best I Can.

The Fact That You Can See A Movie At Home, It's Great. You're Making It For As Many People To See It As Possible. And That's Nice.

I Drew The Duck Blue Because I've Never Seen A Blue Duck Before And, To Be Honest With You I Wanted To See A Blue Duck.

When I Was A Kid You Always Heard About The Israeli Army And You Always Heard About This Tiny Little Country And How Everyone Around Them Wants Them Gone, And Every Time Somebody Comes After Them They Take Care Of Business. And So As A Jewish Kid You Were Proud Of That.

I Grew Up Cursing A Lot.

I Do Love The Films I've Done In The Past. I Work Hard In My Movies And My Friends Work Hard And We're Trying To Make People Laugh And I'm Very Proud Of That.

Doing Saturday Night Live Definitely Affects My Relationship With My Girlfriend And With My Family, Because You Feel So Much Pressure To Do Well That Night. But I Think Everyone's Grown To Accept That And So They Give Me My Space At The Show.

Mama Says That, Happiness Is From Magic Rays Of Sunshine That Come Down When You're Feeling Blue.

How Do I Speak Spanish? Not Too Well.

It's Hard To Soar With The Eagles When You're Surrounded By Turkeys.

I'll Continue To Make The Typical Adam Sandler Comedies.

The Idea Of My Kids Being Spoiled, I Go To Sleep Thinking About It. I Wake Up Thinking About. I'm Trying To Do The Right Thing. With The Amount Of Money I Have, It's Difficult To Raise Children The Way I Was Raised. But I Took Away The West And North Wing Of The House For Those Guys. So, They're Not Allowed In There.

I Have A Love In My Life. It Makes Me Stronger Than Anything You Can Imagine.

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

My Name Is Adam Sandler. I'm Not Particularly Talented. I'm Not Particularly Good-looking. And Yet I'm A Multi-millionaire.

The Canteen Boy, The Reason You Feel Bad For Him And You Can Laugh Is Because He, And I Guess A Lot Of My Characters, They Don't Notice They're Getting Made Fun Of. So They'll Say Something Back That's Not That Great A Quip, But In Their Mind They Won The Argument.

This Character Feels So Much Like My Brother. He Has Two Children. He Has A Wife. He Works With Me. He Chooses To Stay In New Hampshire Because He Wants His Kids To Grow Up In The School They Started With. He Doesn't Want Them To Lose Friends. He Is His Family's Hero.

Wedding Singer Taught Us We Shouldnt Be Afraid Of Making People Feel Emotional In The Middle Of The Movie, Rather Than Just Dealing With Comedy.

I'm Sure Everyone's Got Their Back Story. I Don't Come From A Place Of Where I Was Tortured And Needed To Let Something Out. I Came From A Very Happy Home. I Was A Little Out Of Control At Times. But My Family... We All Liked To Be Funny, We All Liked To Make Each Other Laugh.

Snl Is A Home. You've Got All Of Your Brothers And Sisters There, And It's A Great Time.

My Comedy Is Different Every Time I Do It. I Don't Know What The Hell I'm Doing.

I've Always Just Had Troubles With My Family Because I'm Psychotic. It Had Nothing To Do With That.

So Let Me Do The Dishes In Our Kitchen Sink, Put You To Bed When Youve Had Too Much To Drink. Oh, It Could Be So Nice To Grow Old With You, I Wanna Grow Old With You.

Girls Are Soft And Pretty.

Me And Fred Wolf Wrote The Movie [ Grown Ups]. The Whole Idea Was About Putting Together Old Friends That Get To Hang Out For A Weekend.

I'd Like To Have A Kid, And I'd Like To Be Driving Around. I Know A Kid Is Going To Be A Big Part Of My Life. I Can Trust My Kid. I Know My Kid Would Be In The Backseat Of My Car, And When I Say You Wanna Get Some Ice-cream? He's Going To Be Happy. My Brother Has Kids. I See That Trick Work, The Ice Cream Trick.

You Know, When You Don't Go On Tv And Talk About How Many Women You Sleep With, Some People In Hollywood, That Are Supposedly 'in The Know,' Start Whispering That You're Gay. If I Were Gay, I Wouldn't Be Ashamed To Admit It, But I'm Not.

I Do Feel Good Doing Them [family-friendly Movies], But It's Not Going To Be My Way Of Life. I'm A Comedian.

I'm In A Mood, Dave. A Bad Mood, A Very Bad Mood! I Was Fired From My Ice Cream Truck Job Today! No More Fudgicles!

I Was Just A Young Guy Who Was Excited To Become A Comedian And An Actor And I Just Wanted To Get To Do What I Got To Do.

My Father Used To Wear The Same Pants For Like A Week.

I Go To Sleep Thinking About My Kids Being Spoiled And I Wake Up Thinking About It.

Feels Good To Try, But Playing A Father, I'm Getting A Little Older. I See Now That I'm Taking It More Serious And I Do Want That Lifestyle.

I Was Raised By A Mother Who Told Me I Was Great Every Day Of My Life.

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