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Every Healthy Marriage Is Composed Of Walls And Windows. The Windows Are The Aspects Of Your Relationship That Are Open To The World—that Is, The Necessary Gaps Through Which You Interact With Family And Friends; The Walls Are The Barriers Of Trust Behind Which You Guard The Most Intimatesecrets Of Your Marriage.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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Every Healthy Marriage Is

Elizabeth Gilbert

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Every Healthy Marriage Is Composed Of Walls And Windows. The Windows Are The Aspects Of Your Relationship That Are Open To The World—that Is, The Necessary Gaps Through Which You Interact With Family And Friends; The Walls Are The Barriers Of Trust Behind Which You Guard The Most Intimatesecrets Of Your Marriage.

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If I Am To Truly Become An Autonomous Woman, Then I Must Take Over That Role Of Being My Own Guardian.

In Desperate Love, We Always Invent The Characters Of Our Partners, Demanding They Be What We Need Of Them, And Then Feeling Devastated When They Refuse To Perform The Role We Created In The First Place.

God Wants Us To Be In Joy, God Wants Us To Be Happy.

Marriage Is - Among Other Things - A Study In Contradiction And Disappointment, And Inside That Reality There Is Space For Us To Truly Learn How To Love.

Being A Woman Did Not Look Enviable To Me, Even When It Looked Admirable. It Looked Like Nonstop Sacrifice And Service. Because It Was. Being A Woman Seemed Vulnerable And Sad. Even The Strong Women I Knew - And They Were All Strong - Had Earned Their Strength Through Enduring Huge Disappointments And Tremendous Struggles.

Because I Know Something That You Don't Know. I Know That This Is The Worst Experience Of Your Life, But I Also Know That Someday You'll Move Past It And You'll Be Fine. And Helping Somebody Likej You Through The Worst Experience Of Her Life Is Incredibly Gratifying.

Your Fear Is Just As Boring As Mine Is. Everyone's Got The Same One. It Is Not Precious. It Is Not Special. It Is Not Singular To You. It's Just The One We All Got Wired With When We Came In. Focus On Your Unique Qualities That Deserve To Be Celebrated And Put Fear Back In Its Place. Don't Listen To It. Onward.

Eventually, Everything Goes Away.

That Is Who Barack Obama Is - A Person Of Admirable Character - And That Is Who He Has Remained For Me Over These Last Four Years. I Have Not Agreed With His Every Decision, But Never Once Have I Seen Him Break His Cool, Lose His Composure, Or Abandon His Insightful Perspective - Even During The Most Serious And/or Absurd National Disasters.

You Are Here And You Are Allowed To Be Here And Therefore You Are Allowed To Make Decisions About Yourself And The People In Your Life; Rather Than Sort Of Backing Up And Making Sure It's Okay With Everybody At Every Turn.

I Do Forget Sometimes How Much It Means For Certain Men—for Certain People—to Be Able To Provide Their Loved Ones With Material Comforts And Protection At All Times. I Forget How Dangerously Reduced Some Men Can Feel When That Basic Ability Has Been Stripped From Them. I Forget How Much That Matters To Men, What It Represents.

I Thought About The Relentless Thought-processing, Soul-devouring Machine That Is My Brain, And Wondered How On Earth I Was Ever Going To Master It. Then I Remembered That Line From Jaws And Couldn't Help Smiling: 'we're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat.

People Will Always Want Intimacy With One Chosen Person And You Cannot Have Intimacy Without Privacy, Which Is Why Couples Draw Circles Of Privacy Around Themselves. They Demand That Family, Neighbors And The Law Respect Their Union, And That Is Why We Have Marriage.

I Don't Think You Can Come Into Your Wisdom Until You Have Made Mistakes On Your Own Skin And Felt Them In Reality Of Your Own Life.

I Went To Shea Stadium And Used The Men's Room. Terrifying. There Was This Little Kid Looking At Me Through The Crack [in The Stall]. And I Was Like, "if You Tell Anyone What You've Seen..."

I've Always Been Afraid Of Saying No To People Because I Don't Want Them To Be Disappointed And Dislike Me.

True Power Comes From Standing In Your Own Truth And Walking Your Own Path.

There Are Only Two Questions That Human Beings Have Ever Fought Over, All Through History. 'how Much Do You Love Me?' And, 'who's In Charge?' Everything Else Is Somehow Manageable. But These Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering.

A Creative Life Is An Amplified Life. It's A Bigger Life, A Happier Life, An Expanded Life, And A Hell Of A Lot More Interesting Life. Living In This Manner-continually And Stubbornly Bringing Forth The Jewels That Are Hidden Within You-is A Fine Art, In And Of Itself.

Despite Having Written Five Books, I Worry That I Have Not Written The Right Kinds Of Books, Or That Perhaps I Have Dedicated Too Much Of My Life To Writing, And Have Therefore Neglected Other Aspects Of My Being.

I Share It Here Because Something Was About To Occur On That Bathroom Floor That Would Change Forever The Progression Of My Life..what Happened Was That I Started To Pray.

In The Modern Industrialized Western World, Where I Come From, The Person Whom You Choose To Marry Is Perhaps The Single Most Vivid Representation Of Your Own Personality. Your Spouse Becomes The Most Gleaming Possible Mirror Through Which Your Emotional Individualism Is Reflected Back To The World. There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

Creativity Itself Doesn't Care At All About Results - The Only Thing It Craves Is The Process. Learn To Love The Process And Let Whatever Happens Next Happen, Without Fussing Too Much About It. Work Like A Monk, Or A Mule, Or Some Other Representative Metaphor For Diligence. Love The Work. Destiny Will Do What It Wants With You, Regardless.

I Wanted To Experience Both. I Wanted Worldly Enjoyment And Divine Transcendence. I Wanted What The Greeks Called Kalos Kai Agathos, The Singular Balance Of The Good And The Beautiful. I'd Been Missing Both During These Last Hard Years, Because Both Pleasure And Devotion Require A Stress-free Space In Which To Flourish And I'd Been Living In A Giant Trash Compactor Of Nonstop Anxiety. As For How To Balance The Urge For Pleasure Against The Longing For Devotion...well, Surely There Was A Way To Learn That Trick.

I Have A Lot Of Trouble Forgiving Myself For Being So Dumb... But Yes, Of Course, The Big Generous Compassionate View That You Should Take Of Yourself And Of All Events Is: What A Glorious Circus Train This Has Been, And What A Wonderful Messy Parade, And All Of Those Steps Took Me Here, Where I Precisely Need To Be Now, So God Bless It.

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart.

Never Forget That Once Upon A Time, In An Unguarded Moment, You Recognized Yourself As A Friend.

Once Upon A Time

I Have Searched Frantically For Contentment For So Many Years In So Many Ways, And All The Acquisitions And Accomplishments- They Run You Down In The End.

Offer It Up Personally,then. Right Now. I Thought Of How Many People Go To Their Graves Unforgiven And Unforgiving. I Thought Of How Many People Have Had Siblings Or Friends Or Children Or Lovers Disappear From Their Lives Before Precious Words Of Clemency Or Absolution Could Be Passed Along. How Do The Survivors Of Terminated Relationships Ever Endure The Pain Of Unfinished Business? From That Place Of Meditation, I Found The Answer-you Can Finish The Business Yourself, From Within Yourself. It's Not Only Possible, It's Essential.

I Don't Hate Humanity And I'm Not Interested In People Who Do. Although, It's Funny, Actually, Some Of My Favorite Writers Really Do. Like Martin Amis. My Dirty Secret. 'london Fields' Is One Of My Favorite Books Ever. And It's Indefensible! But He's So Funny... I Forgive Him Everything.

Traveling Is The Great True Love Of My Life

Love Of My Life

Great True Love

Writing Is Not Like Dancing Or Modeling; It's Not Something Where-if You Missed It By Age 19-you're Finished. It's Never Too Late. Your Writing Will Only Get Better As You Get Older And Wiser. If You Write Something Beautiful And Important, And The Right Person Somehow Discovers It, They Will Clear Room For You On The Bookshelves Of The World-at Any Age. At Least Try.

I Am Burdened With What The Buddhists Call The Monkey Mind. The Thoughts That Swing From Limb To Limb, Stopping Only To Scratch Themselves, Spit And Howl. My Mind Swings Wildly Through Time, Touching On Dozens Of Ideas A Minute, Unharnessed And Undisciplined. You Are, After All, What You Think. Your Emotions Are The Slaves To Your Thoughts, And You Are The Slave To Your Emotions.

No Experience In This World Has Ever Been Cathartic Without The Willing Participation Of The Individual. Life Does Not Automatically Bestow Wisdom Or Growth Upon Anyone Just For Showing Up.

Balance Is Not Letting Anyone Love You Less Than You Love Yourself.

Clearing Out All Your Misery Gets You Out Of The Way. You Cease Being An Obstacle, Not Only To Yourself But To Anyone Else. Only Then Are You Free To Serve And Enjoy Other People.

A Woman's Place Is In The Kitchen...sitting In A Comfortable Chair, With Her Feet Up, Drinking A Glass Of Wine And Watching Her Husband Cook Dinner.

I Actually Have A Great Deal Of Respect For Antidepressants; I Think They Can Be Enormously Mighty Tools Toward Recovery.

A True Soul Mate Is Probably The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet, Because They Tear Down Your Walls And Smack You Awake.

I Don't Think You Can Say That Feminism Has Made Women Critical Of Marriage Because Women Have Been Critical Of Marriage For Centuries.

I Think The Thing That I Lost In Myself When I Stopped Writing Fiction And The Thing That I Rediscovered And Started Mining Again Is, For Lack Of A Better Word, Magic. It's The Way You Can Brush Up Against The Inexplicable And The Mystical.

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart. The Only Thing The Mind Hears All Day Is Clanging Bells And Noise And Argument, And All It Wants Is Quietude. The Only Place The Mind Will Ever Find Peace Is Inside The Silence Of The Heart. That's Where You Need To Go.

There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal, After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

We All Have Love Stories That Go Terribly Wrong; We All Have Horribly Broken Hearts. And Somehow We Endure. We're Not Destroyed By It. We Endure And Go On To Do Interesting Things And Have Worthy Lives, Even Though We Carry Our Heartbreaks With Us. That's A Kind Of Personal Story Of Mine That I Don't Think I Would Tell In Memoir But I Do Think I Can Tell In Fiction.

In Fact, It Was All I Could Do To Stop Myself From Saying, 'i've Always Been A Big Fan Of Your Work.

Sanity And Clarity Are More Important For Me And I'm Willing To Give Up A Lot Of Shimmer For It. I'm Willing To Have More Boring Friends, Who Are Sane.

I Want To Explore The Art Of Pleasure In Italy, The Art Of Devotion In India And, In Indonesia, The Art Of Balancing The Two. It Was Only Later, After Admitting This Dream, That I Noticed The Happy Coincidence That All These Countries Begin With The Letter I. A Fairly Auspicious Sign, It Seemed, On A Voyage Of Self-discovery.

Every Healthy Marriage Is Composed Of Walls And Windows. The Windows Are The Aspects Of Your Relationship That Are Open To The World—that Is, The Necessary Gaps Through Which You Interact With Family And Friends; The Walls Are The Barriers Of Trust Behind Which You Guard The Most Intimatesecrets Of Your Marriage.

Every Word Was A Singing Sparrow, A Magic Trick, A Truffle For Me. The Words Made Me Laugh In Delight.

You Are Still Young, So You Think Only Of Your Own Self. You Do Not Notice The Tribulations That Occur All Around You, To Other People. Do Not Protest; It Is True. I Am Not Condemning You. I Was As Selfish As You, When I Was Your Age. It Is The Custom Of The Young To Be Selfish... But Someday You Will Understand That Nobody Passes Through This World Without Suffering-no Matter What You Think Of Them And Their Supposed Good Fortune.

I Am A Better Person When I Have Less On My Plate.

There's Nothing Special About Your Fear.

Your Home Is Whatever In This World You Love More Than You Love Yourself.

He Was Still My Romantic Hero And I Was Still His Living Dream

The Story He [todd Willingham] Told Me Was This: He Woke Up To A Fire. He Ran Out Of The House And Couldn't Run Back In To Save His Children, And That Was Enough To Get Me Interested. ... There's A Writer In Me That's Like, ... This Is A Great Story. ... I Have A Good Friend, Who Was My Neighbor At The Time, And I Told Her About It. ... She Had Been A Reporter, And She Was Like, "let's Go Investigate It."

We Gallop Through Our Lives Like Circus Performers Balancing On Two Speeding Side-by-side Horses--one Foot Is On The Horse Called "fate," The Other On The Horse Called "free Will." And The Question You Have To Ask Every Day Is--which Horse Is Which? Which Horse Do I Need To Stop Worrying About Because It's Not Under My Control, And Which Do I Need To Steer With Concentrated Effort?

Dear Lord, Please Show Me Everything I Need To Understand About Forgiveness And Surrender

This Is Intimacy: The Trading Of Stories In The Dark.

I Feel Like All This Stuff That We Make: Books And Art And Music, All Of It. There's This Energy That Circles The World That Wants To Be Made Manifest, And It Is Just Looking For Someone To Come Through. And It's Dying For You To Make It. And If You Don't Do It, It Will Go Find Somebody Else.

I Do Not Need To Love You To Prove That I Love Myself!!

Change Is All About Motion, Motion Is All About Uncertainty And We Are Deeply Uncomfortable With Uncertainty.

I've Always Thought Of My Writing As A Spiritual Practice. But I Think That Fiction Is The Most Supernatural Kind Of Writing That You Can Do - Because Of The Ways That The Real And The Unreal Weave Together To Create Something That Feels More True Than Anything.

I Will Not Harbor Unhealthy Thoughts Anymore.

There’s A Crack (or Cracks) In Everyone…that’s How The Light Of God Gets In.

Just As There Exists In Writing A Literal Truth And A Poetic Truth, There Also Exists In A Human Being A Literal Anatomy And A Poetic Anatomy. One, You Can See; One, You Cannot. One Is Made Of Bones And Teeth And Flesh; The Other Is Made Of Energy And Memory And Faith. But They Are Both Equally True.

When It Seemed Like I Was Going To Really Have To Be There At Todd's [willingham] Execution, I Don't Think I Could Have Done It. I Think I Began To Distance Myself. I Didn't Visit As Often; I Didn't Write As Often. This Was Kind Of After My Conversation With [fire Science Expert] Gerald Hurst. And The [car] Accident Made Sure That I Didn't Have To Go Up There. But I Think He And I Both Shared That.

Yoga Is The Effort To Experience One's Divinity Personally And Then To Hold On To That Experience Forever.

But Never Again Use Another Person's Body Or Emotions As A Scratching Post For Your Own Unfulfilling Yearnings.

Who Amongst Us Lives Without Sacrifice?

Without Sacrifice

Every Few Years, I Think, 'maybe Now I'm Finally Smart Enough Or Sophisticated Enough To Understand 'ulysses.'' So I Pick It Up And Try It Again. And By Page 10, As Always, I'm Like, 'what The Hell?'

The Four Virtues A Person Needs In Order To Be Safe And Happy In Life: Intelligence, Friendship, Strength And (i Love This One) Poetry.

The Great Sufi Poet And Philosopher Rumi Once Advised His Students To Write Down The Three Things They Most Wanted In Life. If Any Item On The List Clashes With Any Other Item, Rumi Warned, You Are Destined For Unhappiness. Better To Live A Life Of Single-pointed Focus, He Taught. But What About The Benefits Of Living Harmoniously Among Extremes? What If You Could Somehow Create An Expansive Enough Life That You Could Synchronize Seemingly Incongruous Opposites Into A Worldview That Excludes Nothing?

The Thing I Love About Dickens Is The Omniscient, Omnipotent Narrator, And The Great Confidence Of The Narrator, Which Marks 19th-century Novelists In General And Dickens In Particular.

Attraversiamo (meaning "lets Cross Over" In Italian)

The Little Fishing Boat Anchors Right Off The Shore Of Gili Meno. There Are No Docks Here On This Island. You Have To Roll Up Your Pants, Jump Off The Boat And Wade In Through The Surf On Your Own Power. There's Absolutely No Way To Do This Without Getting Soaking Wet Or Even Banged Up On The Coral, But It's Worth All The Trouble Because The Beach Here Is So Beautiful, So Special

I Thought About One Of My Favorite Sufi Poems, Which Says That God Long Ago Drew A Circle In The Sand Exactly Around The Spot Where You Are Standing Right Now. I Was Never Not Coming Here. This Was Never Not Going To Happen.

At The End Of The Day I Am A Writer, And If I Don't Take Care Of This, No One Else Will.

The End Of The Day

I’m Here. I Love You. I Don’t Care If You Need To Stay Up Crying All Night Long, I Will Stay With You... There’s Nothing You Can Ever Do To Lose My Love. I Will Protect You Until You Die, And After Your Death I Will Still Protect You. I Am Stronger Than Depression And I Am Braver Than Loneliness And Nothing Will Ever Exhaust Me.

Marriage Is Not Simply A Romantic Union Between Two People; It's Also A Political And Economic Contract Of The Highest Order.

I Feel Like If I Were To Get Another Tattoo, It Would Probably Be Those Two Words. Just Stubborn, Stubborn, Stubborn Gladness.

We Can Change Our Wives,” He Said. “we Can Change Our Jobs, Our Nationalities And Even Our Religions, But We Can Never Change Our Team.

If Faith Were Rational , It Wouldn't Be -by Definition- Faith.

Eat Pray And Love

The Trick At Every Turn Was To Endure The Test Of Living For As Long As Possible. The Odds Of Survival Were Punishingly Slim, For The World Was Naught By A School Of Calamity And An Endless Burning Furnace Of Tribulation. But Those Who Survived The World Shaped It--even As The World, Simultaneously, Shaped Them.

We Must Take Care Of Our Families Wherever We Find Them.

Thich Nhat Hanh Has The Ability To Bring Forth The State Of Peace That We Each Inherently Posses Merely By His Presence In A Room-this Is Divine Power.

I Used To Say, 'man, I Think I'd Be A Really Good Dad. I'll Be A Great Provider. I'm Funny; I'll Go On Trips With Them - I'll Do All Sorts Of Stuff.' But The Momming? I'm Not Made For That. I Have A Really Good Mom; I Know What She Put Into It.

You Were Given Life; It Is Your Duty (and Also Your Entitlement As A Human Being) To Find Something Beautiful Within Life, No Matter How Slight.

What Richard Is Talking About Is Instead Admitting To The Existence Of Negative Thoughts, Understanding Where They Came From And Why They Arrived, And Then - With Great Forgiveness And Fortitude - Dismissing Them.

But If You Can Plant Yourself In Stillness Long Enough, You Will, In Time, Experience The Truth That Everything (both Uncomfortable And Lovely) Does Eventually Pass.

Men Go Into Marriage With Virtually No Expectations Whatsoever. Ten Years Later, The Men Are Delightfully Surprised To Find Out That It's Actually Kind Of Nice, And The Women Have Sort Of Had To Take A Nose Dive From What They Thought It Was Going To Be.

We Search For Happiness Everywhere, But We Are Like Tolstoy's Fabled Beggar Who Spent His Life Sitting On A Pot Of Gold, Under Him The Whole Time. Your Treasure--your Perfection--is Within You Already. But To Claim It, You Must Leave The Buy Commotion Of The Mind And Abandon The Desires Of The Ego And Enter Into The Silence Of The Heart.

When I Get Lonely These Days, I Think: So Be Lonely, Liz. Learn Your Way Around Loneliness. Make A Map Of It. Sit With It, For Once In Your Life. Welcome To The Human Experience. But Never Again Use Another Person's Body Or Emotions As A Scratching Post For Your Own Unfulfilled Yearnings.

Up Until The Middle Of The Nineteenth Century, Men Of Science Were All Believers. Most Of The Great Early English Naturalists Were Also Ministers; They Were The Only Ones Who Had Education And Leisure For Such Pursuits. Darwin Himself Almost Became A Minister. God's Power Was Always Thought To Be Most Easily And Obviously Revealed In The Majestic Works Of Nature.

I See A Lot Of Women Who Can't Travel When They're Young, And Then Their Kids Grow Up And They Become Amazing Adventurers. Travel Is Not Only For The Young. Sometimes It's Wasted On The Young.

I'm So Excited About School. I'm Such A Shameless Student. I Laid My Clothes Out Last Night, Just Like I Did Before My First Day Of First Grade, With My Patent Leather Shoes And My New Lunch Box. I Hope The Teacher Will Like Me :)

The Inability To Open Up To Hope Is What Blocks Trust, And Blocked Trust Is The Reason For Blighted Dreams.

Creativity Asks You To Enter Realms With Uncertain Outcomes. People Want To Create A Safe Life For Themselves So They Try To Live Without Fear And They End Up Killing Their Creativity In The Process.

We Alter And Customize The Thing Every Century, Every Generation, Every Day - Both In The Courts And In Our Own Homes. And Marriage Accepts Our Modifications Gracefully. Marriage Adapts, Evolves And (in A Manner That I Find Miraculous And Kind Of Inspiring) Somehow Keeps Chugging Along.

Your Tears Are My Prayers.

Richard Didn't Even Have Time To Ask If I Thought I'd Ever Amount To Anything In This Life Before I Looked Him Eye To Eye And Said, "i Already Have, Mister.

I Want To Learn How To Speak Italian. For Years, I'd Wished I Could Speak Italian--a Language I Find More Beautiful Than Roses :)

It's So Much Easier And Cheaper To Keep The River Uncontaminated In The First Place Than It Is To Clean It Up Again Once It's Been Polluted.

All The Parts Of Us That We Ever Were Are Always Going To Be With Us. You Make Space To Carry Them And You Just Try Not To Let Them Drive. But You Can't Chuck Them Out Either.

When You're Lost In Those Woods, It Sometimes Takes You A While To Realize That You Are Lost.

I Can See How The Authorities Could Not Like Todd [ Willingham], Because He's Not A Person Who Is Going To Give You Respect If You Don't Deserve It Just Because You Say Something.

Success Isn't About Acquiring Things, It's About Discovering Your Life Purpose And Following The Call

Acquiring Things

It Was Like Time Would Stop, And The Dancer Would Sort Of Step Through Some Kind Of Portal And He Wasn't Doing Anything Different Than He Had Ever Done, 1,000 Nights Before, But Everything Would Align. And All Of A Sudden, He Would No Longer Appear To Be Merely Human. He Would Be Lit From Within, And Lit From Below And All Lit Up On Fire With Divinity. And When This Happened, Back Then, People Knew It For What It Was, You Know, They Called It By It's Name. They Would Put Their Hands Together And They Would Start To Chant, "allah, Allah, Allah, God God, God." That's God, You Know.

Sometimes Life Is Too Hard To Be Alone, And Sometimes Life Is Too Good To Be Alone.

As For Discipline—it's Important, But Sort Of Overrated. The More Important Virtue For A Writer, I Believe, Is Self-forgiveness. Because Your Writing Will Always Disappoint You. Your Laziness Will Always Disappoint You.

Watch For The People Whose Eyes Light Up When You Talk About Your Dream. Those Are The People You Keep.

Marriage Is Those Two Thousand Indistinguishable Conversations, Chatted Over Two Thousand Indistuinguishable Breakfasts, Where Intimacy Turns Like A Slow Wheel. How Do You Measure The Worth Of Becoming That Familiar To Somebody—so Utterly Well Known And So Thoroughly Ever-present That You Become An Almost Invisible Necessity, Like Air?

I Think It's Wonderful When A Love Story Begins With A Great Deal Of Romance And Affection, Passion And Excitement, That's How It Should Be. But I Don't Necessarily Know That It's The Wisest Thing In The World To Expect That It Ends There, Or That It Should, 30 Years Down The Road, Still Look As It Did On The Night Of Your First Kiss.

I Was A Veritable Johnny Appleseed Of Grand Expectations, And All I Reaped For My Trouble Was A Harvest Of Bitter Fruit.

The Bhagavad Gita—that Ancient Indian Yogic Text—says That It Is Better To Live Your Own Destiny Imperfectly Than To Live An Imitation Of Somebody Else’s Life With Perfection. So Now I Have Started Living My Own Life. Imperfect And Clumsy As It May Look, It Is Resembling Me Now, Thoroughly.

To Feel Physically Comfortable With Someone Else's Body Is Not A Decision You Make. It Has Very Little Thing To Do With How Two People Think Or Act Or Talk Or Even Look. The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

Decisions You Make

Liz, You Must Be Very Polite With Yourself When You Are Learning Something New.

Learning Something New

This Is A Good Sign, Having A Broken Heart. It Means We Have Tried For Something.

Destiny, I Feel, Is Also A Relationship - A Play Between Divine Grace And Willful Self-effort.

I'm Not Particularly Inventive. If You Left Me In а Room And Told Me To Write A Novel, I Wouldn't Be Able To Do It. But If You Gave Me Two Years In A Public Library Around The Corner, I Could. It All Comes From Sort Of Mixing The True And The Invented. I'm Not A Fabulist. I'm More Of A Reporter.

Lay Your Wishes Aside For A Spell, And Look Deep Into What You Believe About Yourself. Make Sure Your Beliefs About Your Own Life Are Anchored In Greatness, In Holiness, In Worth, In Grace, In Joy, In Excitement -in Internal Certainties Rather Than External Circumstances. Because That Belief? That's Where You're Heading, No Matter What It May Look Like On The Outside.

Maybe This Is Just Some Stupid Romantic South American Idea, But I Need You To Understand-darling, For You, I Am Even Willing To Suffer. Whatever Pain Happens To Us In The Future, I Accept It Already, Just For The Pleasure Of Being With You Now. Let's Enjoy This Time. It's Marvelous. Felipe-eat, Pray, Love

You Make Some Big Grandoise Decision About What You Need To Do, Or Who You Need To Be, And Then Circumstances Arise That Immediately Reveal To You How Little You Understood About Yourself.

Of Course, We All Inevitably Work Too Hard, Then We Get Burned Out And Have To Spend The Whole Weekend In Our Pajamas, Eating Cereal Straight Out Of The Box And Staring At The Tv In A Mild Coma (which Is The Opposite Of Working, Yes, But Not Exactly The Same Thing As Pleasure).

At That Moment Of Realization (that Union With God Is Always Present), That's When God Let Me Go, Let Me Slide Through His Fingers With This Last Compassionate, Unspoken Message: You May Return Here Once You Have Fully Come To Understand That You Are Always Here.

I Remember Asking Myself One Night, While I Was Curled Up In The Same Old Corner Of My Same Old Couch In Tears Yet Again Over The Same Old Repetition Of Sorrowful Thoughts, 'is There Anything About This Scene You Can Change, Liz?' And All I Could Think To Do Was Stand Up, Whle Still Sobbing, And Try To Balance On One Foot In The Middle Of The Living Room. Just To Prove That - While I Couldn't Stop The Tears Or Change My Dismal Interior Dialogue - I Was Not Yet Totally Out Of Control: At Least I Could Cry Hysterically While Balanced On One Foot.

A Glorious Failure Can Sometimes Be More Life Affirming Than A Cautious Win.

If I'm Being Forgiving Of Myself, I Could Say I'm Somebody Who Was Really Hungry For Experiences. The Same Thing That Would Make Me Go Try To Be A Trail Cook On A Ranch Was The Same Thing That Would Make Me Want To Have Sex With A Couple Cowboys While I Was There.

This Was Not My Moment To Be Seeking Romance And (as Day Follows Night) To Further Complicate My Already Knotty Life. This Was My Moment To Look For The Kind Of Healing And Peace That Can Only Come From Solitude.

Keep Showing Up For Your Side Of The Job And Give Genius A Chance To Do Its Part.

You Must Stop Looking At The World Through Your Head. You Must Look Through Your Heart, Instead.

Every Try To Take A Toy Away From A Toddler? They Don't Like That, Do They? They Start Kicking And Screaming. Best Way To Take A Toy Away From A Toddler Is Distract The Kid, Give Him Something Else To Play With. Instead Of Trying To Forcefully Take Thoughts Out Of Your Mind, Give Your Mind Something Better To Play With.

The Beauty And Variety Of The Natural World Are Merely The Visible Legacies Of Endless War.

Don't Be Daunted. Just Do Your Job. Continue To Show Up For Your Piece Of It, Whatever That Might Be. If Your Job Is To Dance, Do Your Dance. If The Divine, Cockeyed Genius Assigned To Your Case Decides To Let Some Sort Of Wonderment Be Glimpsed, For Just One Moment Through Your Efforts, Then 'ole!' And If Not, Do Your Dance Anyhow. And 'ole!' To You, Nonetheless. I Believe This And I Feel That We Must Teach It. 'ole!' To You, Nonetheless, Just For Having The Sheer Human Love And Stubbornness To Keep Showing Up.

I Was A Writer Before 'eat, Pray, Love,' And I'll Be A Writer After It's Over. It's What I Want To Do For The Rest Of My Life.

My Husband Is Not American. He Was Born In Brazil, Where He Grew Up Under A Filthy, Corrupt Dictatorship. In His Twenties, He Moved To Europe, Where He Lived For A While Under Various Socialist Democracies. He Spent A Few Years On A Kibbutz In Israel, Living Out A Utopian Experiment In Communal Existence.

I Think It's Unfortunate That There Exists Only One Path In America To Complete Social Legitimacy, And That Is Marriage. I Think, For Instance, That It Would Be Far Easier For Americans To Elect A Black President Or A Female President Than An Unmarried President.

There Are Times When The Only Access I Have To The Truest Person That I Am Is When I'm Alone And Trying To Solve A Sentence. It's Exciting, Even When It's Frustrating, Even When I Can't Do It Right.

There's No Trouble In This World So Serious That It Can't Be Cured With A Hot Bath, A Glass Of Whiskey, And The Book Of Common Prayer.

There Is A Theory That If You Yearn Sincerely Enough For A Guru, You Will Find One. The Universe Will Shift, Destiny's Molecules Will Get Themselves Organized And Your Path Will Soon Intersect With The Path Of The Master You Need.

Women Come Into Marriage With Great Inflated Expectations For What They Want This Relationship To Be, And Men Don't Give It That Much Thought. Men Come Into It With Reluctance About Being Capsized Or Trapped Or Whatever Their Fear Is. When You Check In Later, Women Are Disappointed Because Their Expectations Have Not Come To Pass, And Men Are Pleasantly Surprised.

Stop Wearing Your Wishbone Where Your Backbone Ought To Be.

I Think That If You Can Roast A Chicken, You Can Get Whatever You Want Out Of A Woman. Maybe It's Just Me But I Would Suspect That A Man Trying To Impress A Woman Would Be More Likely To Bring Out The Steak - "i Killed This For You, Now I'm Grilling It For You."... A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

By Unnerving Definition, Anything That The Heart Has Chosen For Its Own Mysterious Reasons It Can Always Unchoose Later—again, For Its Own Mysterious Reasons.

Here Was Something I Already Knew To Be True About Myself: Just As There Are Some Wives Who Will Occasionally Need A Break From Their Husbands In Order To Visit A Spa For The Weekend With Their Girlfriends, I Will Always Be The Sort Of Wife Who Occasionally Needs A Break From Her Husband In Order To Visit Cambodia. Just For A Few Days!

The World Is Like A Dropped Pie Most Of The Time. Don't Kill Yourself Trying To Put It Back Together. Just Grab A Fork And Eat Some Of It Off The Floor. Then Carry On.

Happiness Is The Consequence Of Personal Effort. You Must Fight For It, Strive For It, And Insist Upon It.

Maybe [artistry] Doesn't Have To Be Quite So Full Of Anguish If You Never Happened To Believe, In The First Place, That The Most Extraordinary Aspects Of Your Being Came From You. But Maybe If You Just Believed That They Were On Loan To You From Some Unimaginable Source For Some Exquisite Portion Of Your Life To Be Passed Along When You're Finished ... It Starts To Change Everything.

The Great Lack Of Parity Between Husbands And Wives Has Always Been Spawned By The Disproportionate Degree Of Self-sacrifice That Women Are Willing To Make On Behalf Of Those They Love.

Go Back To Bed', Said The Omniscient Interior Voice, Because You Don't Need To Know The Final Answer Right Now, At Three O'clock In The Morning On The Thursday In November. 'go Back To Bed', Because I Love You. 'go Back To Bed', Beacause The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer.

Here In America, Marriage Still Has A Mystical, Intangible Power: It Is A Passport To Adulthood And Respectability And To A Certain Extent Citizenship. Any Relationship Less Than "married" Is Considered Temporary And Not Worthy Of Honor.

I Think How Badly Things Can Go Wrong In Our Judicial System. All It Took Was One Person Saying That This Was A Deliberately Set Fire, And Then A Whole Chain Of Information Became Malevolent.criminal Past - That Worked All In Their Favor To Create This "monster" - And They Even Used The Word "monster." It's Like, Let's Ensure That The Public Thinks He's An Evil Individual.

You Need To Learn How To Select Your Thoughts Just The Same Way You Select Your Clothes Every Day. This Is A Power You Can Cultivate. If You Want To Control Things In Your Life So Bad, Work On The Mind. That's The Only Thing You Should Be Trying To Control.

How Could Two People Who Were So In Love Not End Up Happily Ever After? It Had To Work. Didn’t It?

Take Me Someplace Where We Can Be Silent Together.

From The Most Sacred Ancient Text Of Yoga: Oh Krishna, The Mind Is Restless, Turbulent, Strong, And Unyielding. I Consider It As Difficult To Subdue As The Wind.

All Of Women's Stories In The 19th Century Had Either One Of Two Endings: You Either Had The Good Jane Austen Marriage At The End And You Were Happy; Or You Had The Terrible Henry James Savage Downfall Because Of Your Own Hubris As A Woman, Or You've Made Some Great Error Leading You Down A Path To Ruin. One Is The Story Of Love That's Successful And The Other Is The Story Usually Of Reckless Love That Goes Terribly Wrong That Destroys The Woman.

Everything Really Is Going To Be Okay. (and If Not Okay, Then At Least Comic.)

But Why Must Everything Have A Practical Application? I'd Been Such A Diligent Soldier For Years - Working, Producing, Never Missing A Deadline, Taking Care Of My Loved Ones, My Gums And My Credit Record, Voting, Etc. Is This Lifetime Supposed To Be Only About Duty? In This Dark Period Of Loss, Did I Need Any Justification For Learning Italian Other Than That It Was The Only Thing I Could Imagine Bringing Me Any Pleasure Right Now?

In Order For Marriage To Endure It Has To Change Along With Us, And It Does That Very Graciously. And In The End I Find There Is Something Kind Of Moving About It: The Fact That People Continue To Insist On Choosing Somebody To Build A Life With.

If You're Alive, You're A Creative Person.

Women Have Always Been More Critical Of Marriage Than Men. The Great Mysterious Irony Of It Is - At Least It's The Stereotype - That Women Want To Get Married And Men Are Trying To Avoid It. Marriage Doesn't Benefit Women As Much As Men, And It Never Has. And Women, Once They Are Married, Become Very Critical Of Marriages In A Way That Men Don't.

If You Want To Know The World, Sometimes You Have To Get Out And Roll Around.

I Would Like To Spend The Rest Of My Days In A Place So Silent–and Working At A Pace So Slow–that I Would Be Able To Hear Myself Living.

We Live In This Society Where You Must Constantly Be Reinventing Yourself. The Big Question Is What Are You Doing Next. The Only Thing They Want Is Composed Of These Three Elements: They Want You To Do It The Exact Same Way Because They Want More Of It; But They Want It To Be Totally Different; And They Want It To Be Better. That's All You Have To Do. You Just Have To Do Something That's Exactly The Same, Totally Different, And Better.

Don't Be Afraid. Don't Be Daunted. Just Do Your Job. Continue To Show Up For Your Piece Of It, Whatever That Might Be.

Oh, I Just Want What We All Want: A Comfortable Couch, A Nice Beverage, A Weekend Of No Distractions And A Book That Will Stop Time, Lift Me Out Of My Quotidian Existence And Alter My Thinking Forever.

That's What We're All Sort Of Trying To Do In Our Lives - To Make The Simplest Things Work Out The Best.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving. I Didn't Want To Destroy Anything Or Anybody. I Just Wanted To Slip Quietly Out The Back Door, Without Causing Any Fuss Or Consequences, And Then Not Stop Running Until I Reached Greenland.

True Wisdom Gives The Only Possible Answer At Any Given Moment, And That Night, Going Back To Bed Was The Only Possible Answer.

Your Fear Is The Most Boring Thing About You.

Overcoming Fear

Never Go Into Debt To Become A Writer. Always Find Other Ways To Support Yourself So You Can Do The Work You Truly Love For The Right Reasons. Never Ask Your Art To Support You. If You Ask Your Art To Support You It Will Either End Up Comprised Or You'll Be Disappointed With It. It's A Lot To Ask Of Creativity For It To Provide For You Financially. Find A Scrappy Way To Get By And Then Do The Work You Love For The Reasons You Love.

Nobody Until Very Recently Would Have Thought That Their Husband Was Supposed To Be Their Best Friend, Confidante, Intellectual Soul Mate, Co-parent, Inspiration.

I Would Say That If You Really Want To Stop Knowing Someone, You Have To Divorce Him.

Faith Is Walking Face-first And Full-speed Into The Dark. If We Truly Knew All The Answers In Advance As To The Meaning Of Life And The Nature Of God And The Destiny Of Our Souls, Our Belief Would Not Be A Leap Of Faith And It Would Not Be A Courageous Act Of Humanity; It Would Just Be... A Prudent Insurance Policy.

Traveling-to-a-place Energy And Living-in-a-place Energy Are Two Fundamentally Different Energies

Love Renders All Of Our Plans And All Of Our Hopes A Gamble.

But Vegetarians Can Eat This...because Intestines Aren't Even Meat, Liz. They're Just Sh$*.

God Is An Experience Of Supreme Love.

If Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Settle For Simply Making Lemonade - Make A Glorious Scene At A Lemonade Stand.

To Devote Yourself To The Creation And Enjoyment Of Beauty, Then, Can Be A Serious Business-not Always Necessarily A Means Of Escaping Reality, But Sometimes A Means Of Holding On To The Real When Everything Is Flaking Away Into... Rhetoric And Plot.

Absolute Certainty Is Not Something I Strive For Anymore. I've Learned The Hard Way That Destiny Usually Looks Upon Our Most Strident Convictions With Amusement, Or Perhaps Even Pity.

I Am Alone, I Am All Alone, I Am Completely Alone. Grasping This Reality, I Let Go Of My Bag, Drop To My Knees And Press My Forehead Against The Floor. There, I Offer Up To The Universe A Fervent Prayer Of Thanks. First In English. Then In Italian. And Then - Just To Get The Point Across - In Sanskrit.

Do You Think There's Any Way Humans Can Love Each Other Without Complication?

Someday You're Gonna Look Back On This Moment Of Your Life As Such A Sweet Time Of Grieving. You'll See That You Were In Mourning And Your Heart Was Broken, But Your Life Was Changing.

Then Again, You Cannot Stop The Flood Of Desire As It Moves Through The World, Inappropriate Though It May Sometimes Be. It Is The Prerogative Of All Humans To Make Ludicrous Choices, To Fall In Love With The Most Unlikely Of Partners, And To Set Themselves Up For The Most Predicatable Of Calamities.

Falling In Love

Someone Has To Write All Those Stories: Why Not Me?

Until I Can Feel As Ecstatic About Having A Baby As I Felt About Going To New Zealand To Search For Giant Squid, I Cannot Have A Baby.

To My Taste, The Men In Rome Are Ridiculously, Hurtfully, Stupidly Beautiful. More Beautiful Even Than Roman Women, To Be Honest. Italian Men Are Beautiful In The Same Way As French Women, Which Is To Say-- No Detail Spared In The Quest For Perfection. They’re Like Show Poodles. Sometimes They Look So Good I Want To Applaud.

I'm Not A Big Austen Reader. I Wouldn't Say I Dislike Her, But If I Had To Choose Between Her And Eliot To Bring To A Desert Island, It Would Definitely Be Eliot.

But, Ancient Greece And Ancient Rome - People Did Not Happen To Believe That Creativity Came From Human Beings Back Then, Ok? People Believed That Creativity Was This Divine Attendant Spirit That Came To Human Beings From Some Distant And Unknowable Source, For Distant And Unknowable Reasons.

To Show A Longing For Anything That One Cannot Have, For Instance, Is Not A Clever Position.

This Is What Intimacy Does To Us Over Time. That's What A Long Marriage Can Do: It Causes Us To Inherit And Trade Each Other's Stories. (p.237)

My Life's Accomplishments? Sanity, And You.

When The Karma Of A Relationship Is Done, Only Love Remains. It's Safe. Let Go.

Addiction Is The Hallmark Of Every Infatuation-based Love Story.

You Must Find Another Reason To Work, Other Than The Desire For Success Or Recognition. It Must Come From Another Place.

Desire For Success

When A Man Who Looks Like Yoda Hands You A Prophecy, You Have To Respond.

To Lose Balance Sometimes For Love Is Part Of Living A Balanced Life.

In A World Of Disorder And Disaster And Fraud, Sometimes Only Beauty Can Be Trusted.

When We Are Mindful Of Every Nuance Of Our Natural World, We Finally Get The Picture: That We Are Only Given One Dazzling Moment Of Life Here On Earth, And We Must Stand Before That Reality Both Humbled And Elevated, Subject To Every Law Of Our Universe And Grateful For Our Brief But Intrinsic Participation With It.

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