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We Search For Happiness Everywhere, But We Are Like Tolstoy's Fabled Beggar Who Spent His Life Sitting On A Pot Of Gold, Under Him The Whole Time. Your Treasure--your Perfection--is Within You Already. But To Claim It, You Must Leave The Buy Commotion Of The Mind And Abandon The Desires Of The Ego And Enter Into The Silence Of The Heart.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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We Search For Happiness

Elizabeth Gilbert

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We Search For Happiness Everywhere, But We Are Like Tolstoy's Fabled Beggar Who Spent His Life Sitting On A Pot Of Gold, Under Him The Whole Time. Your Treasure--your Perfection--is Within You Already. But To Claim It, You Must Leave The Buy Commotion Of The Mind And Abandon The Desires Of The Ego And Enter Into The Silence Of The Heart.

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Dear Lord, Please Show Me Everything I Need To Understand About Forgiveness And Surrender

Then My Mother Shocked Me. She Said, " All Those Things That You Want From Your Relationship, Liz? I Have Always Wanted Those Things Too." [she] Showed Me The Handful Of Bullets She'd Had To Bite Over The Decades In Order To Stay Happily Married (and She Was Happily Married...) To My Father. "you Have To Understand How Little I Was Raised To Expect That I Desired In Life, Honey. Remember- I Come From A Different Time And Place... And You Have To Understand How Much I Love Your Father.

I Want To Have A Lasting Experience With God. Sometimes I Feel Like I Understand The Divinity Of This World, But Then I Loose It Because I Get Distracted By My Petty Desires And Fears. I Want To Be With God All The Time. But I Don't Want To Be A Monk, Or Totally Give Up Worldly Pleasures. I Guess What I Want To Learn Is How To Leave In This World And Enjoy Its Delights, But Also Elevate Myself To God.

Who Will Ever Kiss This Encyclopedia Of A Head?

The Augusteum Warns Me Not To Get Attached To Any Obsolete Ideas About Who I Am, What I Represent, Whom I Belong To, Or What Function I May Once Have Intended To Serve.

I Equal Parts Loved Him And Could Not Stand Him. I Couldn't Wake Him To Share In My Distress.

I Share It Here Because Something Was About To Occur On That Bathroom Floor That Would Change Forever The Progression Of My Life..what Happened Was That I Started To Pray.

How Much Do You Love Me?' And "who's In Charge?" ....these Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering. People Follow Different Paths, Straight Or Crooked, According To Their Temperament, Depending On Which They Consider Best, Or Most Appropriate -- And All Reach You, Just As Rivers Enter The Ocean.

Take Care Of The Problems Now, Or Else You'll Just Have To Suffer Again Later When You Scew Everything Up The Next Time. And That Repetition Of Suffering - That's Hell. Moving Out Of That Endless Repetition To A New Level Of Understand - There's Where You'll Find Heaven.

But Why Must Everything Have A Practical Application? I'd Been Such A Diligent Soldier For Years - Working, Producing, Never Missing A Deadline, Taking Care Of My Loved Ones, My Gums And My Credit Record, Voting, Etc. Is This Lifetime Supposed To Be Only About Duty? In This Dark Period Of Loss, Did I Need Any Justification For Learning Italian Other Than That It Was The Only Thing I Could Imagine Bringing Me Any Pleasure Right Now?

Eventually, Everything Goes Away.

I Think That If You Can Roast A Chicken, You Can Get Whatever You Want Out Of A Woman. Maybe It's Just Me But I Would Suspect That A Man Trying To Impress A Woman Would Be More Likely To Bring Out The Steak - "i Killed This For You, Now I'm Grilling It For You."... A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

I Never Wanted To Be The Person That Waited For A Stranger To Come To Town - I Wanted To Be The Stranger!

Only The Young And Stupid Are Confident About Sex And Romance.

The Thing I Love About Dickens Is The Omniscient, Omnipotent Narrator, And The Great Confidence Of The Narrator, Which Marks 19th-century Novelists In General And Dickens In Particular.

I Actually Have A Great Deal Of Respect For Antidepressants; I Think They Can Be Enormously Mighty Tools Toward Recovery.

Mostly You Meet Friends When Traveling By Accident, Like By Sitting Next To Them On The Train, Or In A Restaurant, Or In A Holding Cell.

As I Got Older, I Discovered That Nothing Within Me Cried Out For A Baby. My Womb Did Not Seem To Have Come Equipped With That Famously Ticking Clock. Unlike So Many Of My Friends, I Did Not Ache With Longing Whenever I Saw An Infant. (though I Did Ache With Longing, It Is True, Whenever I Saw A Good Used-book Shop)

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart.

Marriage Is - Among Other Things - A Study In Contradiction And Disappointment, And Inside That Reality There Is Space For Us To Truly Learn How To Love.

The Reality, Certainly In My Life, Is That We All Have Love Stories That Go Terribly Wrong; We All Have Horribly Broken Hearts. And Somehow We Endure. We're Not Destroyed By It.

I Was The Baby Of The Family, But I Was Never Babied, And That Allowed Me To Take Whatever Artistic Temperament I Had And Apply Learned Discipline. I Was Taught How To Work. I Think That's Everything. Creativity And Imagination Alone Are Not Going To Get You There.

My Life Acccomplishments? Sanity, And You

True Power Comes From Standing In Your Own Truth And Walking Your Own Path.

There Is So Much About My Fate That I Cannot Control, But Other Things Do Fall Under The Jurisdiction. I Can Decide How I Spend My Time, Whom I Interact With, Whom I Share My Body And Life And Money And Energy With. I Can Select What I Can Read And Eat And Study. I Can Choose How I'm Going To Regard Unfortunate Circumstances In My Life-whether I Will See Them As Curses Or Opportunities. I Can Choose My Words And The Tone Of Voice In Which I Speak To Others. And Most Of All, I Can Choose My Thoughts.

Don't Be Afraid. Don't Be Daunted. Just Do Your Job. Continue To Show Up For Your Piece Of It, Whatever That Might Be.

I Love My Pizza So Much, In Fact, That I Have Come To Believe In My Delirium That My Pizza Might Actually Love Me, In Return. I Am Having A Relationship With This Pizza, Almost An Affair.

As A Writer, You Always Read In Two Minds: You Read As A Reader And You Enjoy It, And You Look At It As A Writer, And You Just Admire The Architecture And The Construction.

Moss Is Inconceivably Strong. Moss Eats Stone; Scarcely Anything, In Return, Eats Moss. Moss Dines Upon Boulders, Slowly But Devastatingly, In A Meal That Lasts For Centuries. Given Enough Time, A Colony Of Moss Can Turn A Cliff Into Gravel, And Turn That Gravel Into Topsoil.

I'm So Excited About School. I'm Such A Shameless Student. I Laid My Clothes Out Last Night, Just Like I Did Before My First Day Of First Grade, With My Patent Leather Shoes And My New Lunch Box. I Hope The Teacher Will Like Me :)

Sometimes Out Hearts Are Broken So New Light Can Get In.

Every Try To Take A Toy Away From A Toddler? They Don't Like That, Do They? They Start Kicking And Screaming. Best Way To Take A Toy Away From A Toddler Is Distract The Kid, Give Him Something Else To Play With. Instead Of Trying To Forcefully Take Thoughts Out Of Your Mind, Give Your Mind Something Better To Play With.

Every Intimacy Carries Secreted Somewhere Below Its Initial Lovely Surfaces, The Ever-coiled Makings Of Complete Catastrophe.

I Have Had Work Or Ideas Come Through Me From A Source That I Honestly Cannot Identify. And What Is That Thing? And How Are We To Relate To It In A Way That Will Not Make Us Lose Our Minds, But, In Fact, Might Actually Keep Us Sane?

But The Very Fact That This World Is So Challenging Is Exactly Why You Sometimes Must Reach Out Of Its Jurisdiction For Help, Appealing To A Higher Authority In Order To Find Your Comfort.

My Life's Accomplishments? Sanity, And You.

If I'm Being Forgiving Of Myself, I Could Say I'm Somebody Who Was Really Hungry For Experiences. The Same Thing That Would Make Me Go Try To Be A Trail Cook On A Ranch Was The Same Thing That Would Make Me Want To Have Sex With A Couple Cowboys While I Was There.

According To The Mystics, This Search For Divine Bliss Is The Entire Purpose Of A Human Life. This Is Why We All Chose To Be Born, And This Is Why All The Suffering And Pain Of Life On Earth Is Worthwhile--just For The Chance To Experience This Infinite Love. And Once You Have Found This Divinity Within, Can You Hold It? Because If You Can...bliss.

Power Is A Neutral Energy Source, Like Tofu. It's What You Do With It That Gives It Flavor.

Writing Is Not Like Dancing Or Modeling; It's Not Something Where-if You Missed It By Age 19-you're Finished. It's Never Too Late. Your Writing Will Only Get Better As You Get Older And Wiser. If You Write Something Beautiful And Important, And The Right Person Somehow Discovers It, They Will Clear Room For You On The Bookshelves Of The World-at Any Age. At Least Try.

So When Modern-day Religious Conservatives Wax Nostalgic About How Marriage Is A Sacred Tradition That Reaches Back Into History For Thousands Of Uninterrupted Years, They Are Absolutely Correct, But In Only One Respect-only If They Happen To Be Talking About Judaism.

You Have To Get Hurt. That's How You Learn. The Strongest People Out There, The Ones Who Laugh The Hardest With A Genuine Smile, Those Are The People Who Have Fought The Toughest Battles. Because They've Decided That They're Not Going To Let Anything Hold Them Down, They're Showing The World Who's Boss. One Must Always Be Prepared For Riotous And Endless Waves Of Transformation.

That's What We're All Sort Of Trying To Do In Our Lives - To Make The Simplest Things Work Out The Best.

Everything Was A Miracle Until We Solved It. ... The First Man Who Ever Saw A Flying Fish Probably Thought He Was Witnessing A Miracle - And The First Man Who Ever Described A Flying Fish Was Doubtless Called A Liar.

We Gallop Through Our Lives Like Circus Performers Balancing On Two Speeding Side-by-side Horses--one Foot Is On The Horse Called "fate," The Other On The Horse Called "free Will." And The Question You Have To Ask Every Day Is--which Horse Is Which? Which Horse Do I Need To Stop Worrying About Because It's Not Under My Control, And Which Do I Need To Steer With Concentrated Effort?

A True Soul Mate Is Probably The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet, Because They Tear Down Your Walls And Smack You Awake.

Traveling-to-a-place Energy And Living-in-a-place Energy Are Two Fundamentally Different Energies

I Think The Thing That I Lost In Myself When I Stopped Writing Fiction And The Thing That I Rediscovered And Started Mining Again Is, For Lack Of A Better Word, Magic. It's The Way You Can Brush Up Against The Inexplicable And The Mystical.

It's So Much Easier And Cheaper To Keep The River Uncontaminated In The First Place Than It Is To Clean It Up Again Once It's Been Polluted.

I Promised Todd [willingham] That I Would Attend The Execution. ... It Was Impossible For Me To Go. I Was Incapable Of That Sort Of Travel. Sitting In A Chair That Long, Driving To Huntsville Just Wouldn't Have Happened. ... I'm Sure I Would Have Been There. It's Something I Know. I Would Not Have Denied Him That, But The Accident Kept Me From Being There. At Some Level, The Universe Was Giving Me The Excuse For Not Being There. ... The Universe Was Like, "oh, You Don't Have To Watch This." ... It Would Have Been A Horrible Thing, But I'm Sure I Would Have Gone.

When Catherine Told Me About This (tragedy Nearby), I Could Only Say, Shocked, "dear God, That Family Needs Grace." She Replied Firmly, "that Family Needs Casseroles," And Then Proceeded To Organize The Entire Neighborhood Into Bringing That Family Dinner, In Shifts, Every Single Night, For An Entire Year. I Do Not Know If My Sister Fully Recognizes That This _is_ Grace.

My Work Is Incredibly Important To Me Personally. It Brings Me Joy And It Brings Me Life And It Brings Me Meaning. It Doesn't Necessarily Have To Be Important To The People Who Read It.

You Love New Boyfriend?" "i Think So. Yes." "then You Must Spoil Him. And He Must Spoil You.

I Want To Explore The Art Of Pleasure In Italy, The Art Of Devotion In India And, In Indonesia, The Art Of Balancing The Two. It Was Only Later, After Admitting This Dream, That I Noticed The Happy Coincidence That All These Countries Begin With The Letter I. A Fairly Auspicious Sign, It Seemed, On A Voyage Of Self-discovery.

They Flank Me - Depression On My Left, Loneliness On My Right. They Don't Need To Show Their Badges. I Know These Guys Very Well. ... Then They Frisk Me. They Empty My Pockets Of Any Joy I Had Been Carrying There. Depression Even Confiscates My Identity; But He Always Does That.

Your Fear Is The Most Boring Thing About You.

Overcoming Fear

To Feel Physically Comfortable With Someone Else's Body Is Not A Decision You Make. It Has Very Little Thing To Do With How Two People Think Or Act Or Talk Or Even Look. The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

Decisions You Make

You Were Given Life; It Is Your Duty (and Also Your Entitlement As A Human Being) To Find Something Beautiful Within Life, No Matter How Slight.

When I Lost My Friends, It Was Because I Had Used The Power Of Giving On Them Recklessly. I Swept Into Their Lives With My Big Fat Checkbook, And I Erased Years Of Obstacles For Them Overnight - But Sometimes, In The Process, I Also Accidentally Erased Years Of Dignity.

He Told Me That One Of The Reasons People Are So Unhappy Is They Don't Talk To Themselves. He Said You Have To Keep A Conversation Going With Yourself Throughout Your Life To See How You're Doing, To Keep Your Focus, To Remain Your Own Friend. He Told Me That He Talked To Himself All The Time, And That It Helped Him To Grow Stronger And Better Everyday.

God Is An Experience Of Supreme Love.

Do I Really Deserve This Pleasure? This Is American, Too-the Insecurity About Whether We Have Earned Our Happiness.

I Crossed The Street To Walk In The Sunshine.

Learn Your Way Around Loneliness. Make A Map Of It. Sit With It, For Once In Your Life. Welcome To The Human Experience.

You Never Know How A Good Quest Is Going To End.

Here In America, Marriage Still Has A Mystical, Intangible Power: It Is A Passport To Adulthood And Respectability And To A Certain Extent Citizenship. Any Relationship Less Than "married" Is Considered Temporary And Not Worthy Of Honor.

Here Was Something I Already Knew To Be True About Myself: Just As There Are Some Wives Who Will Occasionally Need A Break From Their Husbands In Order To Visit A Spa For The Weekend With Their Girlfriends, I Will Always Be The Sort Of Wife Who Occasionally Needs A Break From Her Husband In Order To Visit Cambodia. Just For A Few Days!

I Wanted To Experience Both. I Wanted Worldly Enjoyment And Divine Transcendence. I Wanted What The Greeks Called Kalos Kai Agathos, The Singular Balance Of The Good And The Beautiful. I'd Been Missing Both During These Last Hard Years, Because Both Pleasure And Devotion Require A Stress-free Space In Which To Flourish And I'd Been Living In A Giant Trash Compactor Of Nonstop Anxiety. As For How To Balance The Urge For Pleasure Against The Longing For Devotion...well, Surely There Was A Way To Learn That Trick.

When You're Lost In Those Woods, It Sometimes Takes You A While To Realize That You Are Lost.

Given That Life Is So Short, Do I Really Want To Spend One-ninetieth Of My Remaining Days On Earth Reading Edward Gibbon?

Time -- When Pursued Like A Bandit -- Will Behave Like One; Always Remaining One Country Or One Room Ahead Of You, Changing Its Name And Hair Color To Elude You, Slipping Ou The Back Door Of The Motel Just As You're Banging Through The Lobby With Your Newest Search Warrant, Leaving Only A Burning Cigarette In The Ashtray To Taunt You.

Unfenced By Law, The Unmarried Lover Can Quit A Bad Relationship At Any Time. But You - The Legally Married Person Who Wants To Escape Doomed Love - May Soon Discover That A Significant Portion Of Your Marriage Contract Belongs To The State, And That It Sometimes Takes A Very Long While For The State To Grant You Your Leave.

Bad Relationship

I Am Far More Of A Loner Than People Would Imagine. But I Am The Most Gregarious And Socially Interactive Loner You Ever Met. The Thing Is, I Am Fascinated By People's Stories And I'm Very Talkative And Can't Ever Say No To Anything Or Anyone, So I Tend To Over-socialize, To Give Away Too Much Of My Time To The Many People I Adore.

Your Emotions Are The Slaves To Your Thoughts, And You Are The Slave To Your Emotions.

Marriage Is An Ongoing, Centuries-long Social Experiment That Is Mostly Controlled By The Individuals In The Relationships Who Insist On Determining What The Relationship Terms Are Going To Be. And That's Why The Terms Of Marriage Change With Every Century And Decade. We're Shaping It From The Inside. Marriage Endures Because It Evolves. Obviously It Does. None Of Us Would Accept Marriage On Its 13th Century Terms, Not Even The Most Conservative People...

When The Karma Of A Relationship Is Done, Only Love Remains. It's Safe. Let Go.

You Might Get Nothing Out Of It At All Except A Beautiful, Long Life Where All You Did Was Follow Your Gorgeous Curiosity. And That Should Be Enough Too.

I've Never Seen Any Life Transformation That Didn't Begin With The Person In Question Finally Getting Tired Of Their Own Bullshit.

True Wisdom Gives The Only Possible Answer At Any Given Moment, And That Night, Going Back To Bed Was The Only Possible Answer.

I Guess What I Want To Learn Is How To Live In This World And Enjoy Its Delights But Also Devote Myself To God.

Both The Five-year-olds Looked At Me With Bewilderment And A Bit Of Fearful Uncertainty. I Had A Sudden Horrifying Image Of The Woman I Might Become If I'm Not Careful: Crazy Aunt Liz. The Divorcee In The Muumuu With The Dyed Orange Hair Who Doesn't Eat Dairy But Smokes Menthols, Who's Always Just Coming Back From Her Astrology Cruise Or Breaking Up With Her Aroma-therapist Boyfriend, Who Reads The Tarot Cards Of Kindergarteners And Says Things Like, "bring Aunty Liz Another Wine Cooler, Baby, And I'll Let You Wear My Mood Ring.

Who Amongst Us Lives Without Sacrifice?

Without Sacrifice

The Great Sufi Poet And Philosopher Rumi Once Advised His Students To Write Down The Three Things They Most Wanted In Life. If Any Item On The List Clashes With Any Other Item, Rumi Warned, You Are Destined For Unhappiness. Better To Live A Life Of Single-pointed Focus, He Taught. But What About The Benefits Of Living Harmoniously Among Extremes? What If You Could Somehow Create An Expansive Enough Life That You Could Synchronize Seemingly Incongruous Opposites Into A Worldview That Excludes Nothing?

We All Have Love Stories That Go Terribly Wrong; We All Have Horribly Broken Hearts. And Somehow We Endure. We're Not Destroyed By It. We Endure And Go On To Do Interesting Things And Have Worthy Lives, Even Though We Carry Our Heartbreaks With Us. That's A Kind Of Personal Story Of Mine That I Don't Think I Would Tell In Memoir But I Do Think I Can Tell In Fiction.

I Think A Lot Of People Who Feel As Though They Desperately Want To Be Married Oftentimes Simply Desperately Want To Have A Wedding.

I Worked At The Original Coyote Ugly Bar When I Was A Young, Unpublished Writer. Then Later When I Became A Writer, I Wrote An Article About It For Gq. Disney Read This Article About This Filthy, Disgusting Pit In The East Village [of New York City], Where We Used To Set The Bar On Fire To Get Customers Away From Us, And Said, "that's A Great Movie For Kids!" They Made The Fantastic Coyote Ugly Movie, Now Legendary.

Guilt's Just Your Ego's Way Of Tricking You Into Thinking That You're Making Moral Progress. Don't Fall For It, My Dear.

When You Have Only Two Minutes To Say Good-bye To The Person You Love Most In The World, And You Don’t Know When You’ll See Each Other Again, You Can Become Logjammed With The Effort To Say And Do And Settle Everything At Once.

God Isn't Interested In Watching You Enact Some Performance Of Personality In Order To Comply With Some Crackpot Notion You Have About How A Spiritual Person Looks Or Behaves. We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Dramatic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality.

Before You Realize This Truth, Say The Yogis, You Will Always Be In Despair, A Notion Nicely Expressed In This Exasperated Line From The Greek Stoic Philosopher Epictetus: 'you Bear God Within You, Poor Wretch, And Know It Not.

I Don't Hate Humanity And I'm Not Interested In People Who Do. Although, It's Funny, Actually, Some Of My Favorite Writers Really Do. Like Martin Amis. My Dirty Secret. 'london Fields' Is One Of My Favorite Books Ever. And It's Indefensible! But He's So Funny... I Forgive Him Everything.

That's Just Your Ego, Trying To Make Sure It Stays In Charge. This Is What Ego Does. It Keeps You Feeling Separate, Keeps You With A Sense Of Duality, Tries To Convince You That You're Flawed And Broken And Alone Instead Of Whole.

A Soul Mates Purpose Is To Shake You Up, Tear Apart Your Ego A Little Bit, Show You Your Obstacles And Addictions, Break Your Heart Open So New Light Can Get In, Make You So Desperate And Out Of Control That You Have To Transform Your Life, Then Introduce You To Your Spiritual Master.

I Should Just Put It Bluntly, Because We're All Sort Of Friends Here Now - It's Exceedingly Likely That My Greatest Success Is Behind Me. Oh, So Jesus, What A Thought! You Know That's The Kind Of Thought That Could Lead A Person To Start Drinking Gin At Nine O'clock In The Morning, And I Don't Want To Go There.

As Far As We Know, We Are The Only Species On The Planet Who Have Been Given The Gift-or Curse, Perhaps-of Awareness About Our Own Mortality. Everything Here Eventually Dies; We're Just The Lucky Ones Who Get To Think About This Fact Every Day.

Your Fear Is Just As Boring As Mine Is. Everyone's Got The Same One. It Is Not Precious. It Is Not Special. It Is Not Singular To You. It's Just The One We All Got Wired With When We Came In. Focus On Your Unique Qualities That Deserve To Be Celebrated And Put Fear Back In Its Place. Don't Listen To It. Onward.

Ruin Is A Gift. Ruin Is The Road To Transformation.

I Feel Like All This Stuff That We Make: Books And Art And Music, All Of It. There's This Energy That Circles The World That Wants To Be Made Manifest, And It Is Just Looking For Someone To Come Through. And It's Dying For You To Make It. And If You Don't Do It, It Will Go Find Somebody Else.

Deep Grief Sometimes Is Almost Like A Specific Location, A Coordinate On A Map Of Time. When You Are Standing In That Forest Of Sorrow, You Cannot Imagine That You Could Ever Find Your Way To A Better Place. But If Someone Can Assure You That They Themselves Have Stood In That Same Place, And Now Have Moved On, Sometimes This Will Bring Hope

In Every Possible Instance Saint Paul Begged Christians To Restrain Themselves To Contain Their Carnal Yearnings To Live Solitary And Sexless Lives On Earth As It Is In Heaven. "but If They Cannot Contain " Paul Finally Conceded Then "let Them Marry For It Is Better To Marry Than To Burn." Which Is Perhaps The Most Begrudging Endorsement Of Matrimony In Human History.

I Never Promised The Universe That I Would Write Brilliantly; I Only Promised The Universe That I Would Write.

I Do Not Need To Love You To Prove That I Love Myself!!

To Sit Patiently With A Yearning That Has Not Yet Been Fulfilled, And To Trust That, That Fulfillment Will Come, Is Quite Possibly One Of The Most Powerful "magic Skills" That Human Beings Are Capable Of. It Has Been Noted By Almost Every Ancient Wisdom Tradition

Oh, Cold World -- I Have Grown So Weary Of You And All Your Horrible Bathrooms.

With Each Reunion (we) Had To Learn Each Other All Over Again. There Was Always That Nervous Moment At The Airport When I Would Stand There Waiting For Him To Arrive, Wondering, Will I Still Know Him? Will He Still Know Me?

Travel Is Similar To Therapy. You Can Go To The Best Psychologist In The World For Ten Years. If You Don't Feel Like Actively Shifting Anything In Your Life, There Is Nothing That Person Can Do To Change You.

Clearing Out All Your Misery Gets You Out Of The Way. You Cease Being An Obstacle, Not Only To Yourself But To Anyone Else. Only Then Are You Free To Serve And Enjoy Other People.

I Would Say That If You Really Want To Stop Knowing Someone, You Have To Divorce Him.

One Must Always Be Prepared For Riotous And Endless Waves Of Transformation.

You Are Here And You Are Allowed To Be Here And Therefore You Are Allowed To Make Decisions About Yourself And The People In Your Life; Rather Than Sort Of Backing Up And Making Sure It's Okay With Everybody At Every Turn.

This Is Intimacy: The Trading Of Stories In The Dark.

Creativity Asks You To Enter Realms With Uncertain Outcomes. People Want To Create A Safe Life For Themselves So They Try To Live Without Fear And They End Up Killing Their Creativity In The Process.

Sanity And Clarity Are More Important For Me And I'm Willing To Give Up A Lot Of Shimmer For It. I'm Willing To Have More Boring Friends, Who Are Sane.

Also, I Could Finally Sleep. And This Was The Real Gift, Because When You Cannot Sleep, You Cannot Get Yourself Out Of The Ditch--there's Not A Chance.

A True Soul Mate Is Probably The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet, Because They Tear Down Your Walls And Smack You Awake. But To Live With A Soul Mate Forever? Nah. Too Painful. Soul Mates, They Come Into Your Life Just To Reveal Another Layer Of Yourself To You, And Then Leave.

A Fish And A Bird May Indeed Fall In Love, But Where Shall They Live?

Falling In Love

My Husband Is Not American. He Was Born In Brazil, Where He Grew Up Under A Filthy, Corrupt Dictatorship. In His Twenties, He Moved To Europe, Where He Lived For A While Under Various Socialist Democracies. He Spent A Few Years On A Kibbutz In Israel, Living Out A Utopian Experiment In Communal Existence.

But Vegetarians Can Eat This...because Intestines Aren't Even Meat, Liz. They're Just Sh$*.

Listen To The Whispers Or Soon You Will Be Listening To The Screams.

Here's The Thing: The Unit Of Reverence In Europe Is The Family, Which Is Why A Child Born Today Of Unmarried Parents In Sweden Has A Better Chance Of Growing Up In A House With Both Of His Parents Than A Child Born To A Married Couple In America. Here We Revere The Couple, There They Revere The Family.

It's Easy Enough To Pray When You're In Distress But Continuing To Pray Even When Your Crisis Has Passed Is Like A Sealing Process, Helping Your Soul Hold Tight To Its Good Attainment.

Desperate Love Is Always The Toughest Way To Do It.

Everything Good I've Ever Gotten In Life, I Only Got Because I Gave Something Else Up.

Nobody's Really Paying That Much Attention To Your Massive Personal Dramas.

He Endeared Himself To Me Forever The First Night We Met, When I Was Getting Frustrated With My Inability To Find The Words I Wanted In Italian, And He Put His Hand On My Arm And Said, "liz, You Must Be Very Polite With Yourself When You Are Learning Something New.

If I Were Going To Have Such A Short Visit On Earth, I Had To Do Everything Possible To Experience It Now.

The Nineteenth Century Was The Last Moment In History When A Relatively Educated Layperson Could Follow What Was Going On In The World Of Science And Invention To A Wide Degree. Also, There Were No "professionals". This Was A Time When Amateur Explorers, Naturalists And Enthusiasts Were Are Still Making Major Contributions To Progress.

The Fantasy Of The Wedding Day Is That It Represents Undeniable Public And Private Truth That You Have Been Chosen. For That One Day, You Are The Most Valuable Creature In The World - A Treasure, A Princess, A Prize.

Equally Disquieting Are The Times When We Do Make A Choice, Only To Later Feel As Though We Have Murdered Some Other Aspect Of Our Being By Settling On One Single Concrete Decision.

At The End Of The Day I Am A Writer, And If I Don't Take Care Of This, No One Else Will.

The End Of The Day

I've Been Screwed And Sued And Tattooed, And I'm Still Standin' Here In Front Of You.

The Gods Are Fond Of The Cryptic And Dislike The Evident.

We Set Up One Rule In Our House, Which Is, 'guests Of Guests Cannot Bring Guests.' That Rule Was Required Because That Happened One Weekend, And We Finally Said, 'okay, You Know What? That's A Little Too Much.'

The Yogic Scriptures Say That God Responds To The Sacred Prayers And Efforts Of Human Beings In Any Way Whatsoever That Mortals Choose To Worship - Just So Long As Those Prayers Are Sincere.

We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Drastic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality. To Know God, You Only Need To Renounce One Thing - Your Sense Of Division From God

There's Only One Problem With The Hero's Journey, It Never Included Women.

Americans Have An Inability To Relax Into Sheer Pleasure.ours Is An Entertainment Seeking-nation, But Not Necessarily A Pleasure-seeking One....this Is The Cause Of That Great Sad American Stereotype- The Overstressed Executive Who Goes On Vacation, But Who Cannot Relax.

Pleasure Seeking

I'm Not A Big Austen Reader. I Wouldn't Say I Dislike Her, But If I Had To Choose Between Her And Eliot To Bring To A Desert Island, It Would Definitely Be Eliot.

But Never Again Use Another Person's Body Or Emotions As A Scratching Post For Your Own Unfulfilling Yearnings.

The Culture Of Rome Just Doesn't Match The Culture Of Yoga, Not As Far As I Can See. In Fact, I've Decided That Rome And Yoga Don't Have Anything In Common At All. Except For The Way They Both Kind Of Remind You Of The Word Toga.

Zen Masters Say You Cannot See Your Reflection In Running Water, Only In Still Water.

My Whole Life I've Been An Over-giver. My General Operating Policy Has Always Been, 'if It Belongs To Me, Don't Worry: You Can Have It!'

I Have A History Of Making Decisions Very Quickly About Men. I Have Always Fallen In Love Fast And Without Measuring Risks. I Have A Tendency Not Only To See The Best In Everyone, But To Assume That Everyone Is Emotionally Capable Of Reaching His Highest Potential. I Have Fallen In Love More Times Than I Care To Count With The Highest Potential Of A Man, Rather Than With The Man Himself, And I Have Hung On To The Relationship For A Long Time (sometimes Far Too Long) Waiting For The Man To Ascend To His Own Greatness. Many Times In Romance I Have Been A Victim Of My Own Optimism.

I Think How Badly Things Can Go Wrong In Our Judicial System. All It Took Was One Person Saying That This Was A Deliberately Set Fire, And Then A Whole Chain Of Information Became Malevolent.criminal Past - That Worked All In Their Favor To Create This "monster" - And They Even Used The Word "monster." It's Like, Let's Ensure That The Public Thinks He's An Evil Individual.

I See Women Who Have This Struggle Between What They Know Is Right, What They Know Is Necessary, What They Know Is Healthy, What They Know Is Good For Them, What They Know Is Good For The Work That They Need To Do, What They Know Is Good For Their Bodies, What They Know Is Good For Their Families - All Too Often Ending That Statement With The Upturned Question Mark: "if It's Okay With Everyone?" Still Asking, Still Requesting, Still Filing Petitions For Somebody To Say That It's All Right.

You Make Some Big Grandoise Decision About What You Need To Do, Or Who You Need To Be, And Then Circumstances Arise That Immediately Reveal To You How Little You Understood About Yourself.

I Know This Simple Fact To Be True, For I Myself Have Abandoned People Who Did Not Want Me To Go, And I Myself Have Been Abandoned By Those Whom I Begged To Stay.

But, Ancient Greece And Ancient Rome - People Did Not Happen To Believe That Creativity Came From Human Beings Back Then, Ok? People Believed That Creativity Was This Divine Attendant Spirit That Came To Human Beings From Some Distant And Unknowable Source, For Distant And Unknowable Reasons.

I'm Still Aspiring To Be A Better And Better Person, But I Think That Disappointments Have Made Me Gentler With Other People And Their Disappointments, The Stuff That They Have To Carry Around And Endure.

There's Nothing Special About Your Fear.

Virginia Woolf Wrote, "across The Broad Continent Of A Woman's Life Falls The Shadow Of A Sword." On One Side Of That Sword, She Said, There Lies Convention And Tradition And Order, Where All Is Correct. But On The Other Side Of That Sword, If You're Crazy Enough To Cross It And Choose A Life That Does Not Follow Convention, "all Is Confusion." Nothing Follows A Regular Course. Her Argument Was That The Crossing Of The Shadow Of That Sword May Bring A More Interesting Existence To A Woman, But You Can Bet It Will Be More Perilous.

Bhuta Ia, Dewa Ia. (bali Expression Meaning Man Is A Demon, Man Is A God.)

So Now I Have Started Living My Own Life. Imperfect And Clumsy As It May Look, It Is Resembling Me Now, Thoroughly.

A Glorious Failure Can Sometimes Be More Life Affirming Than A Cautious Win.

I Think When You Are An Aspiring Writer, You Must Write Every Day. It's Not As Though Anybody Will Call You Up On The Phone And Say, "i Understand You Are A Very Promising, Aspiring Writer And I'm Going To Give You This Assignment." You Have To Create It Yourself Or It's Never Going To Happen.

It's Not Enough For Me To Just Hear About Something Or Read About Something, I Wanna Know It In My Bones.

Absolute Certainty Is Not Something I Strive For Anymore. I've Learned The Hard Way That Destiny Usually Looks Upon Our Most Strident Convictions With Amusement, Or Perhaps Even Pity.

Success Isn't About Acquiring Things, It's About Discovering Your Life Purpose And Following The Call

Acquiring Things

And Then, In That Regal Silence, Finally - I Began To Meditate On (and With) God.

The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

Up Until The Middle Of The Nineteenth Century, Men Of Science Were All Believers. Most Of The Great Early English Naturalists Were Also Ministers; They Were The Only Ones Who Had Education And Leisure For Such Pursuits. Darwin Himself Almost Became A Minister. God's Power Was Always Thought To Be Most Easily And Obviously Revealed In The Majestic Works Of Nature.

It's Still Two Human Beings Trying To Get Along, So It's Going To Be Complicated. And Love Is Always Complicated. But Humans Must Try To Love Each Other, Darling. We Must Get Our Hearts Broken Sometimes. This Is A Good Sign, Having A Broken Heart. It Means We Have Tried For Something.

You Must Find Another Reason To Work, Other Than The Desire For Success Or Recognition. It Must Come From Another Place.

Desire For Success

Every Woman Deserves A Man That Can Make Her Heart Forget That It Was Ever Broken. Even If These Have Been Broken To Pieces To Me,this Represents A Person Who Gave Me A Complete,flawless Heart. I Don't Need Someone Who Makes My Heart Whole. Instead, I Need Someone Who Will Never Let Me Feel Broken. This Is A Good Sign, Having A Broken Heart. It Means We Have Tried For Something.

Where Did You Get The Idea You Aren't Allowed To Petition The Universe With Prayer? You Are Part Of This Universe, Liz. You're A Constituent--you Have Every Entitlement To Participate In The Actions Of The Universe, And To Let Your Feelings Be Known. So, Put Your Opinion Out There. Make Your Case. Believe Me--it Will At Least Be Taken Into Consideration.

We Can Change Our Wives,” He Said. “we Can Change Our Jobs, Our Nationalities And Even Our Religions, But We Can Never Change Our Team.

I Won The Argument Against The Knife That Night, But Barely. I Had Some Other Good Ideas Around That Time--about How Jumping Off A Building Or Blowing My Brains Out With A Gun Might Stop The Suffering. But Something About Spending A Night With A Knife In My Hand Did It. The Next Morning I Called My Friend Susan As The Sun Came Up, Begged Her To Help Me. I Don't Think A Woman In The Whole History Of My Family Had Ever Done That Before, Had Ever Sat In The Middle Of The Road Like That And Said, In The Middle Of Her Life, "i Cannot Walk Another Step Further--somebody Has To Help Me.

The Act Of Quiet Nighttime Talking, Illustrates For Me More Than Anything Else The Curious Alchemy Of Companionship.

Parla Come Magni,' It Means, 'speak The Way You Eat,' Or In My Personal Translation: 'say It Like You Eat It.' It's A Reminder - When You're Making A Big Deal Out Of Explaining Something, When You're Searching For The Right Words - To Keep Your Language As Simple And Direct As Roman Rood. Don't Make A Big Production Out Of It. Just Lay It On The Table.

By Unnerving Definition, Anything That The Heart Has Chosen For Its Own Mysterious Reasons It Can Always Unchoose Later—again, For Its Own Mysterious Reasons.

I Felt Like I Was Some Kind Of Primitive Spring-loaded Machine, Placed Under Far More Tension Than It Had Ever Been Built To Sustain, About To Blast Apart At Great Danger To Anyone Standing Nearby. I Imagined My Body Parts Flying Off My Torso In Order To Escape The Volcanic Core Of Unhappiness That Had Become: Me.

I Tried To Reassure Him With Every Line About How The World Is Hard And Unfair Sometimes, But That It's All Ok Because He Is So Loved. He Is Surrounded By Souls Who Would Do Anything To Help Him. And Not Only That--he Has Wisdom And Patience Of His Own, Buried Deep Inside His Being, Which Will Only Reveal Themselves Over Time And Will Always Carry Him Through Any Trial. He Is A Gift From God To All Of Us.

I Said, "it Seems Like You Have Fond Feelings Toward Your Ex-wife. Are You Two Still Close?" "nah," He Said Casually. "she Thinks I Changed My Name To Motherfucker."

Don't Be Daunted. Just Do Your Job. Continue To Show Up For Your Piece Of It, Whatever That Might Be. If Your Job Is To Dance, Do Your Dance. If The Divine, Cockeyed Genius Assigned To Your Case Decides To Let Some Sort Of Wonderment Be Glimpsed, For Just One Moment Through Your Efforts, Then 'ole!' And If Not, Do Your Dance Anyhow. And 'ole!' To You, Nonetheless. I Believe This And I Feel That We Must Teach It. 'ole!' To You, Nonetheless, Just For Having The Sheer Human Love And Stubbornness To Keep Showing Up.

Creativity Is A Scavenger Hunt. It's Your Obligation To Pay Attention To Clues, To The Thing That Gives You That Little Tweak.

A True Soul Mate Is A Mirror, The Person Who Shows You Everything That Is Holding You Back, The Person Who Brings You To Your Own Attention So You Can Change Your Life.

I Believe That - If You Are Serious About A Life Of Writing, Or Indeed About Any Creative Form Of Expression - That You Should Take On This Work Like A Holy Calling.

I Can See How The Authorities Could Not Like Todd [ Willingham], Because He's Not A Person Who Is Going To Give You Respect If You Don't Deserve It Just Because You Say Something.

He Was Powerful And I Died Of Love In His Shadow.

But He [depression] Just Gives Me That Dark Smile, Settles Into My Favorite Chair, Puts His Feet On My Table And Lights A Cigar, Filling The Place With His Awful Smoke. Loneliness Watches And Sighs, Then Climbs Into My Bed And Pulls The Covers Over Himself, Fully Dressed, Shoes And All. He's Going To Make Me Sleep With Him Again Tonight, I Just Know It.

Never Forget That Once Upon A Time, In An Unguarded Moment, You Recognized Yourself As A Friend.

Once Upon A Time

You Write Fiction, You're Writing Memoir, And When You're Writing Memoir, You're Writing Fiction.

Writing Fiction

If You're Going To Answer The Call And You're Going To Transform And You're Going To Change, Get Ready. It Is Not A Day At The Beach.

Why Must Everything Be Repeat And Repeat, Never Finish, Never Resting? You Work So Hard One Day, But The Next Day You Must Only Work Again. You Eat, But The Next Day, You Are Already Hungry. You Find Love, Then Love Goes Away. You Are Born With Nothing, You Work Hard, Then You Die With Nothing. You Are Young, Then You Are Old. No Matter How Hard You Work, You Cannot Stop Getting Old. - Wayan

Nothing Is Less Efficient Than Perfectionism.

The More Exquisitely And Delightfully You Can Do Nothing, The Higher Your Life's Achievement.

Bali Eat Pray Love

Some Days Are Meant To Be Counted, Others Are Meant To Be Weighed.

If Something Is Rubbing So Hard Against You, You Can Be Sure It's Working On You.

I Have These New Policies Toward My Life, Like 'i Will Not Accelerate When I See The Yellow Light.'

Infatuation Is Not Quite The Same Thing As Love; It's More Like Love's Shady Second Cousin Who's Always Borrowing Money And Can't Hold Down A Job.

In A World Of Disorder And Disaster And Fraud, Sometimes Only Beauty Can Be Trusted.

As Somebody Who, In My Second Marriage, Insisted On A Prenuptial Agreement, I Can Also Testify That Sometimes It Is An Act Of Love To Chart The Exit Strategy Before You Enter The Union, In Order To Make Sure That Not Only You, But Your Partner As Well, Knows That There Will Be No World War Iii Should Hearts And Minds, For Any Sad Reason, Change.

What I Object To Is The Hyper-fetishized Wedding Day, The Prioritizing Of Wedding Over Marriage. I Have A Real Problem With Couples Spending Far More Time Discussing The Seating Arrangement Or The Color Of The Bridesmaid's Gowns Than Hashing Out, For Instance, Their Feelings About How They Intend To Handle Questions Of Housework, Child-rearing, Finances And Fidelity For The Next Four Or Five Decades.

The Story He [todd Willingham] Told Me Was This: He Woke Up To A Fire. He Ran Out Of The House And Couldn't Run Back In To Save His Children, And That Was Enough To Get Me Interested. ... There's A Writer In Me That's Like, ... This Is A Great Story. ... I Have A Good Friend, Who Was My Neighbor At The Time, And I Told Her About It. ... She Had Been A Reporter, And She Was Like, "let's Go Investigate It."

Longing To Travel While You Are Already Traveling Is, I Admit, A Kind Of Greedy Madness

Your Home Is Whatever In This World You Love More Than You Love Yourself.

Why They Always Look So Serious In Yoga? You Make Serious Face Like This, You Scare Away Good Energy. To Meditate, Only You Must Smile. Smile With Face, Smile With Mind, And Good Energy Will Come To You And Clean Away Dirty Energy. Even Smile In Your Liver. Practice Tonight At Hotel. Not To Hurry, Not To Try Too Hard. Too Serious, You Make You Sick. You Can Calling The Good Energy With A Smile. (from Ketut Liyer, The Balinese Healer)

If Todd [willingham] Was Guilty Of Anything, It Was Just His Self-preservation. He Got Up And Ran Out Of The House And Then Thought About The Children After The Fact.

God Wants Us To Be In Joy, God Wants Us To Be Happy.

Happiness Is The Consequence Of Personal Effort. You Fight For It, Strive For It, Insist Upon It, And Sometimes Even Travel Around The World Looking For It. You Have To Participate Relentlessly In The Manifestations Of Your Own Blessings. And Once You Have Achieved A State Of Happiness, You Must Never Become Lax About Maintaining It. You Must Make A Mighty Effort To Keep Swimming Upward Into That Happiness Forever, To Stay Afloat On Top Of It.

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