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Do You Sometimes Wish You Could Fast-forward A Week? You Know Something Bad's Coming Up, And You Know You'll Get Through It, But The Prospect Just Makes You Feel Sick. I Worried For About Thirty Minutes, And Though I Knew There Was No Point In Doing So, I Could Feel My Anxiety Twisting Me Up In A Knot. 'bullshit,' I Told Myself Stoutly. 'this Is Utter Bullshit.

-Charlaine Harris

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Do You Sometimes Wish

Charlaine Harris

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Do You Sometimes Wish You Could Fast-forward A Week? You Know Something Bad's Coming Up, And You Know You'll Get Through It, But The Prospect Just Makes You Feel Sick. I Worried For About Thirty Minutes, And Though I Knew There Was No Point In Doing So, I Could Feel My Anxiety Twisting Me Up In A Knot. 'bullshit,' I Told Myself Stoutly. 'this Is Utter Bullshit.

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Don’t You Just Hate Nights Like That, When You Think Over Every Mistake You’ve Made, Every Hurt You’ve Received, Every Bit Of Meanness You’ve Dealt Out? There’s No Profit In It, No Point To It, And You Need Sleep.

‎should We Do This Now?" Pam Gave An Almost Inaudible Snort. She Was Smiling In The Glow Of The Streetlight, Suddenly Exhilarated. "you Waiting For An Engraved Invite?" Lord Save Me From Sarcastic Vampires.

If This Were The Fifties, She’d Be Checking Sam’s Collars For Lipstick Stains. (did People Do That Anymore? Why Did Women Kiss Collars, Anyway? Besides, Sam Almost Always Wore T-shirts.)

My Brother, Jason, Came Into The Bar, Then, And Sauntered Over To Give Me A Hug. He Knows That Women Like A Man Who's Good To His Family And Also Kind To The Disabled, So Hugging Me Is A Double Whammy Of Recommendation.

Men Sometimes Have To Leave Their Ladies Alone, And Ladies Are Not Responsible For The Bad Manners Of Fools.

You Trust Me?" Eric Sounded Surprised. "yes." "that's . . . Crazy, Sookie.

The World Seemed A Bad And Terrible Place, All Its Denizens Suspect, And I The Lamb Wandering Through The Valley Of Death With A Bell Around My Neck.

I Really, Really Wanted To Lose Awareness Of The Here And Now. The Best Way For Me To Do That Was Bury Myself In A Book.

I Gave Myself A Mental Shake. Snapping Out Of A Slump, That Was What Today Was All About.

Finally, A Human Man Saw Me As Intensely Valuable. Just My Luck He Was Happily Married And Thought I Was A Freak.

I Love You,” Bill Said Helplessly, As If He Wished Those Magic Words Would Heal Me. But He Knew They Wouldn’t. “that’s What You All Keep Saying,” I Answered. “but It Doesn’t Seem To Get Me Any Happier.

In The World I Lived In, The World Of Human People, There Were Ties And Debts And Consequences And Good Deeds. That Was What Bound People To Society; Maybe That Was What Constituted Society. And I Tried To Live In My Little Niche In It The Best Way I Could.

I Felt Like A Car That Had Only Been Operated By One Driver… A Car Its New Prospective Buyer Was Determined To Take To The Daytona 500.

I'll Show Up At Every Classroom Open House And Teacher Conference,' She Said, Now In A Voice That Was Almost Frightening In Its Intensity. 'i'll Bake Brownies. My Child Will Have New Clothes. Her Shoes Will Fit. She'll Get Her Shots, And She'll Get Her Braces. We'll Start A College Fund Next Week. I'll Tell Her I Love Her Every Damn Day.' If That Wasn't A Great Plan For Being A Good Mother, I Couldn't Imagine What A Better One Could Be

As The Water Pounded On My Back, I Reflected That I Must Be Pretty Simple. It Didn't Take Much To Make Me Happy. A Long Night With A Dead Guy Had Done The Trick.

This Was An Unpleasant Trend. I Didn’t Want A Lot Of Guys Popping In And Out Of My Bedroom. I Wanted One Who Would Stay.

This Letter Is Written On The Skin Of One Of The Water Sprites Who Drowned Your Parents.' 'ick!' I Cried, And Dropped The Letter On The Kitchen Table.

Look, How Come He Showed Up Now? When You Have Other Fairies In The Woods? And Does That Sound Crazy When You Say It Out Loud, Or What?

I Certainly Think We're Going To See More And More Graphic Novels And More Illustrated Novels.

I Said The First Thing That Came Into My Head Unfortunately. "save The Drama For Your Mama " I Told Her Just Like An Eleven-year-old.

Okay I've Been Stupid In The Past. Not Consistently Stupid, But Occasionally Stupid. And I've Made Mistakes. You Bet, I've Made Mistakes.

I Don't Like Having Feelings," Eric Said Coldly, And He Left. That Was A Tough Exit Line To Top.

I Realized That I Was Really Tired Of People Popping On And Off Of My Property Like It Was A Train Station On The Supernatural Railroad.

"come On," I Said, Taking His Hand. Clutching The Afghan With The Other Hand, He Trailed Down The Hall After Me, A Snow White Giant In Tiny Red Underwear.

Sookie," Eric Said. I Didn't Think He'd Heard A Word. "yield To Me." Well, That Was Pretty Direct.

Glass Shattered, Vampires Roared, Humans Screamed. The Noise Battered At Me, Just As The Tidal Wave Of Scores Of Brains At High Gear Washed Over Me. When It Began To Taper Off, I Looked Up Into Eric's Eyes. Incredibly, He Was Excited. He Smiled At Me. "i Knew I'd Get On Top Of You Somehow," He Said. Are You Trying To Make Me Mad So I'll Forget How Scared I Am?" No, I'm Just Opportunistic." I Wiggled, Trying To Get Out From Under Him, And He Said, "oh, Do That Again. It Felt Great.

Could I Tell Them I Was Sorry Their Loved One Was Dead, When He’d Tried To Kill Me? There Was No Rule Of Etiquette For This; Even My Grandmother Would Have Been Stymied.

The Security Light Made Me Feel Safe, Though I Knew That Was An Illusion. If There's Light, You Can Just See What's Coming For You A Little More Clearly.

It's Probably A Bad Indicator Of Your Lifestyle When You Miss Your Ex-boyfriend Because He's Absolutely Lethal.

So, On The Whole, I'd Have To Say That No, People Don't Change, But They Can Learn To Behave Differently. I Want To Believe Otherwise. If You Have An Argument That Says I'm Wrong, I'd Be Glad To Hear It.

I'm A Middle-class Former Housewife Who Goes To My Daughter's Softball Games.

He Picked Some Unwise Words. Saying, “i’ll Enjoy Killing You For My Lord”, Is Just Not The Way To Make My Acquaintance.

We Followed The Bondage Bobbsey Twins Across The Crowded Dance Floor. Those Leather Shorts Were An Adventure From Behind, Let Me Tell You. And The Pictures Of Elvis Decorating The Walls Were An Education, Too. It Wasn’t Often You Ran Into A Bondage/elvis/ Whorehouse-themed Vampire Club.

They Say There's No Harm In Daydreaming, But There Is.

You've Reached Fantasia, Where The Undead Live Again Every Night," "for Bar Hours, Press One. To Make A Party Reservation, Press Two. To Talk To Alive Person Or A Dead Vampire, Press Three. Or, If You Were Intending To Leave A Humorous Prank Message On Our Answering Machine, Know This: We Will Find You.

Bubba Made A Sound Of Disapproval "you're Not Supposed To Be Kissing On Anybody Else, Miss Sookie" He Said "bill Said It Was Okay, But I Don't Like It.

Did You Ever Think That If You Told Me Where Bill's Hiding His Computer Program, I Would Give You Anything You Asked For?" - Eric, Club Dead.

The Average Woman Would Not Be Pondering How Fast Her Date Could Kill Her, But I’ll Never Be An Average Woman.

Eric Moved The Broom Experimentally And Made An Attempt To Sweep The Glass Into The Pan While It Lay In The Middle Of The Floor. Of Course, The Pan Slid Away. Eric Scowled. I'd Finally Found Something Eric Did Poorly.

Pam Said, "sookie, I Brought You Something, Too. I Never Thought I'd Want To Spend Time With A Human, But You're More Tolerable Than Most.

I'd Been Blindsided With The Most Painful Knowledge: The First Man To Ever Say He Loved Me Had Never Loved Me At All. His Passion Had Been Artificial. His Pursuit Of Me Had Been Choreographed.

Though I Was Standing In Front Of A Mirror, I Wasn't Really Seeing My Reflection. I Was Seeing, Very Clearly, That—at The Moment—i Was All In The World That Eric Could Think Of As His Own. I Had Better Not Fail Him.

Vampires. They Wrote The Book On Possessive.

I Am A Woman, Hear Me Roar," I Said. Gosh, What Prompted That?" Amelia Asked, And I Jumped

Here’s To Books, The Cheapest Vacation You Can Buy.

Eric, What Are You Doing?" "snuggling." "get Out Of My Bed!" -sookie Stackhouse, Eric Northman

Hoyt Was By Himself Right Under One Of The Portable Lights Rigged Up For The Occasion. He Had His Hands Thrust In His Pockets, And He Looked More Serious Than I’d Ever Seen Him. There Was Something Strange About The Sight, And After A Second I Figured Out Why. It Was One Of The Few Times I’d Ever Seen Hoyt Alone.

I Am Here," Eric Said. "and I Am Here." I Was A Little Amused At Eric's Phone Answering Technique. "sookie, My Little Bullet-sucker," He Said, Sounding Fond And Warm. "eric, My Big Bullshitter.

When You've Been Really Beaten, You Realize That You Are Just An Envelope Of Skin, An Easily Penetrated Envelope That Holds Together A Lot Of Fluids And Some Rigid Structures, Which In Their Turn Can Simply Be Broken And Invaded.

Oh Come On Pam, They're Funny. They're Like Humans But Miniature...tea Cup Humans!

Sookie, It Is Not Your Blood I Love. I Love You. Your Heart, Your Mind, Your Soul... You Have Brought Light Back Into My Life

A Piece Of Happiness Should Never Be Taken As Due.

I Didn't Know What To Think About First: Me Seeing Claude Naked, Claude Seeing Me Naked, Or The Whole Fact That We Were Related And Naked In The Same Room. (sookie Stackhouse, Dead In The Family)

I Have Lived One Step Away From Losing My Mind For Years. I Am Quick And Accurate In Spotting Unstable Streaks In Others.

I Have A Big Hole In My Heart," I Said. "but It'll Close Over." I Don't Want To Sound All Dr. Phil," She Said. "but Don't Let The Scab Seal The Pain In, Okay?" That's Good Advice," I Said. "i Hope I Can Manage It.

It's A Sad Comment On Humans That None Of Them Are Tolerable To One Who Can Read Their Minds

May I Search It?" She Asked. "we Screen For Weapons." I Stared At Her, Always A Risky Thing To Do To A Vampire. "of Course Not. I Have No Weapons.

If Hunter Hadn't Been There, I Would've Picked Up The Phone To Call Eric. I Would've Asked Him To Bring A Shovel And Come To Help Me Dig A Body Up. That Was What A Boyfriend Should Do, Right? But I Couldn't Leave Hunter Alone In The House, And I Would've Felt Terrible If I'd Ask Eric To Go Out In The Woods By Himself, Even Though I Knew He Wouldn't Think Anything About It. In Fact, Probably He'd Have Sent Pam.

My Bullshit Meter Is Reading That As 'false'.

And Since I’m Going To Be In The Neighborhood, You Thought I Might Do As An Escort? To An Orgy?

(sookie's Thoughts On Debbie Pelt) She Had Been Cruel To Alcide, Insulted Me Grievously, Burned A Hole In My Favorite Wrap And—oh—tried To Kill Me By Proxy. Also, She Had Stupid Hair.

My Favorite Fantasy? You Come Down Into My Daytime Resting Place Stark Naked," He Said, And I Could See The Gleam Of His Teeth As He Smiled. "oh, Wait," Bill Said. "that's Already Happened.

I Snuck A Look To See How Eric Was Taking This, And He Was Staring At Me The Same Way The Monroe Vampires Had. Thoughtful. Hungry. "that's Interesting," He Said. "i Had A Psychic Once. It Was Incredible." "did The Psychic Think So?

Oklahoma Is Very Beautiful, And Eric Loves Beauty, But He Already Has That In You.

Softie Was Not A Word You Could Use In The Same Sentence As Eric.

Self-pity Is Like Chocolate; As You Get Older, You Can Only Afford A Little Bit.

Very Few Of My Characters Are Totally Heroic Or Totally Villainous.

Of Course I Am Grateful, And I'm Sure You Are, As You Put It, A Special Vintage," Bill Said Politely, "but I Have My Own Wine Cellar.

Sometimes You Just Have To Regret Things And Move On.

Woo Woo, Secret Vampire Stuff!

And You Are Mine, And You Will Be Mine. They Will Not Get You. - Eric From Dead And Gone

Life Had Sure Been Simpler When I Hadn't Dated.

Only A Group Lack Of Imagination Could Account For People Not Wondering What Went On In The Dark Around Them.

I Love Him," I Said, But Even To My Own Ears I Didn't Sound Happy About It.

People Fidget. They Are Compelled To Look Engaged In An Activity, Or Purposeful. Vampires Can Just Occupy Space Without Feeling Obliged To Justify It.

Ha," I Said. "oh, Ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause They Love Me. You See How Many Vampires Are Up Here? Zero, Right?" One," Said Eric, Stepping Out Of The Stairwell.

I Freely Admit I Know Nothing About Television Or Writing For The Screen.

I Held On To My Better Nature By My Fingernails But I Held On.

It’s Called Two And A Half Men,” Dermot Was Telling His Guest. “i Understand,” Bellenos Said. “because The Two Brothers Are Grown, And The Son Isn’t.” “i Think So,” Dermot Said. “don’t You Think The Son Is Useless?” “the Half? Yes. At Home, We’d Eat Him,” Bellenos Said.

They Found The Corpse In The Closet Of Alcide's Apartment, And They Hatched A Plan To Hide His Remains." Eric Sounded Like That Had Been Kind Of Cute Of Us. "my Sookie Hid A Corpse?" "i Don't Think You Can Be Too Sure About That Possessive Pronoun." "where Did You Learn That Term, Northman?" "i Took 'english As A Second Language' At A Community College In The Seventies.

Eric Was Holding My Hands, And I Was Digging My Nails Into Him Like We Were Doing Something Else. He Won't Mind, I Though, As I Realized I'd Drawn Blood. And Sure Enough, He Didn't. "let Go," He Advised Me, And I Loosened My Grip On His Hands. "no, Not Of Me," He Said Smiling. "you Can Hold On To Me As Long As You Want.

All The Pictures On The Walls, They All White As Lilies And Smiling Like Alligators.

Most Humans Were On One Big Island, To The Fairies, And That Island Was Adrift On A Sea Called I Totally Don’t Care.

You Can Hold On To Me For As Long As You Want. Let Go Of The Pain, Sookie". - Eric, Club Dead.

Men! Dead Or Alive, They Could Be Exactly The Same.

I Was Embarrased, Horrified And Absolutely Ready To Jump Him!

There Was Enough Tension In The Room To Send A Fleet Of The Nervous Running For Their Tranquilizers.

Well In Two Months, It'd Be Sunbathing Time. That Made Me Smile. I Enjoyed Lying In The Sun In A Little Bikini, Timing Myself Carefully So I Didn't Burn. I Loved The Smell Of Coconut Oil. And I Don't Want To Hear Any Lectures About How Bad Tanning Is For You. That's My Vice. Everybody Gets One.

I Was Surprised To Find Out There Was A Direct Line From My Palm To My, My, Hootchie.

No Matter How We Suffer, We Have An Obligation To Others. We Have To Be Unselfish Enough To Try To Live In The Right Way, So Others Can Get Through Their Own Lives Without Us Fouling Them Up.

I Often Cried When I Got Angry; I Hated That. Crying Just Made You Look Weak, No Matter What Triggered It.

I Hate Witches. Humans Had The Right Idea, Burning Them At The Stake.

Angelic Sookie, Vision Of Love And Beauty, I Am Prostrate That The Wicked Evil Maenad Violated Your Smooth And Voluptuous Body, In An Attempt To Deliver A Message To Me. -eric

I Dipped Into His Brain. He Wasn't Happy That I Wasn't Wearing A Bra, Because My Boobs Distracted Him. He Was Thinking I Was A Bit Too Curvy For His Taste. He Was Thinking He'd Better Not Think About Me That Way Anymore. He Was Missing His Wife.

Not One Man In A Million Would Have Allowed Me The Time Without Speaking. I Opened My Mind, Let My Gaurd Down Completely, Relaxed. His Silence Washed Over Me. I Stood, Closed My Eyes, Breathed Out The Relief That Was Too Profound For Words.

I Added To My Mental List Of The Odd Things I'd Done That Day. I'd Entertained The Police, Sunbathed, Visited At A Mall With Some Fairies, Weeded And Killed Someone. Now It Was Powdered-corpse Removal Time. And The Day Wasn't Over Yet.

If It's Easy To Be Friendly She Will Be. If The Wind Blows The Other Way Her Friendship Will Be Gone. And I'm Thinking The Wind Is Blowing The Other Way. She Has Found Some Other Way To Be An Important Person In Her Own Right By Hating Others.

How Is Eric?' 'very Tightly Wound. Plus, A Lot Of Stuff Happened That He'll Tell You About.' 'thanks For The Warning. I'll Go To The House Now. You're My Favorite Breather.' 'oh. Well ... Great.' She Hung Up.

Let Go," He Advised Me, And I Loosened My Grip On His Hands. "no, Not Of Me," He Said, Smiling. "you Can Hold On To Me As Long As You Want. Let Go Of The Pain, Sookie. Let Go. You Need To Drift Away." It Was The First Time I Had Relinquished My Will To Someone Else. As I Looked At Him, It Became Easy, And I Retreated From The Suffering And Uncertainty Of This Strange Place.

The Last Time I Wore An Animal Hide; But This Time I Settled For This." Eric Had Been Wearing A Long Trench Coat. Now He Threw It Off Dramatically, And I Could Only Stand And Stare. Normally, Eric Was A Blue-jeans-and-t-shirt Kind Of Guy. Tonight, He Wore A Pink Tank Top And Lycra Leggings[...]they Were Pink And Aqua, Like The Swirls Down The Side Of Jason's Truck.

Should I Just Bite You, And End It All?", He Whispered. "i Would Never Have To Think About You Again. Thinking About You Is An Annoying Habit And One I Want To Be Rid Of.

Thinking About You

What Had Set The Fae World Off? I`d Never Seen One. Now You Couldn`t Throw A Trowel Without Hitting A Fairy.

I So Seldom Had To Dispose Of A Human Body Myself, I Was At A Loss. Fairies Turned Into Dust, And Vampires Flaked Away. Demons Had To Be Burned. Humans Were Very Troublesome.

As I Watched Bill, Waiting With Apparent Calm For Death To Come To Him, I Had A Flash Of Him As I'd Known Him: The First Vampire I'd Ever Met, The First Man I'd Ever Gone To Bed With, The First Suitor I'd Ever Loved. Everything That Followed Had Tainted Those Memories, But For One Moment I Saw Him Clearly, And I Loved Him Again.

I Wish," I Said. "i Could Save Orgasms In A Jar For When I Need Them, Because I Think I Have A Few Extra.

No Blame, No Hate - Why No Communication?

You Won't Find A Vampire In A Ford Fiesta

Just Because One Of Arlene's Husbands Was A Murderer Is No Reason For Me To Be Ugly

Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even An Elf.

Holiday Traditions

I Thought About Making Biscuits, But There Seemed To Be More Than Enough Calories On Board.

Wow," I Said, Since It Was All I Could Think Of To Say. "wow. That's Some Outfit." When You've Got A Big Guy Wearing Lycra It Doesn't Leave A Whole Lot To The Imagination. I Resisted The Temptation To Ask Eric To Turn Around. "i Don't Believe I Could Be Convincing As A Queen," Eric Said, "but I Decided This Sent Such A Mixed Signal, Almost Anything Was Possible." He Fluttered His Eyelashes At Me. Eric Was Definitely Enjoying This. "oh, Yes," I Said, Trying To Find Somewhere Else To Look. (living Dead In Dallas)

It Was Time To Pull My Moral Socks Up And Behave Myself.

I Could Tell Hugo Was Convinced That He Would Get To Walk Back Up These Stairs: After All, He Was A Civilized Person. These Were All Civilized People. Hugo Really Couldn't Imagine That Anything Irreparable Could Happen To Him, Because He Was A Middle-class White American With A College Education, As Were All The People On The Stairs With Us. I Had No Such Conviction. I Was Not A Wholly Civilized Person.

I Had Never Seen So Many Cute Men In One Place In My Life. But I Could Tell They Were Not For Me. Russell Was Like The Gay Vampire Hugh Hefner, And This Was The Playboy Mansion, With An Emphasis On The "boy.

I Am Self-educated From Genre Books.

There's Not Much I Dislike More Than Being Addressed As "hey You" And Being Poked With A Finger.

Eric,” She Said, “maybe Someday One Of The Waitresses Will Get Pregnant, And We Can Go To A Baby Shower!” “that Would Be Something To See,” Said Eric

He Looked Like He'd Just Seen The Ghost Of You Better Shut Your Mouth.

When I Thought Of Eric With Someone Else, I Wanted To Rip Out All His Beautiful Blonde Hair. By The Roots. In Clumps.

My First Word For The New Year Was 'exsanguinate.' This Was Probably Not A Good Omen.

We Want To Climb In With You,' Dermot Said. 'we'll All Sleep Better.' That Seemed Incredibly Weird And Creepy To Me - Or Maybe I Only Thought It Should Have. I Was Simply Too Tired To Argue. I Climbed In The Bed. Claude Got In On One Side Of Me, Dermot On The Other. Just When I Was Thinking, I Would Never Be Able To Sleep, That This Situation Was Too Odd And Too Wrong, I Felt A Kind Of Blissful Relaxation Roll Through My Body, A Kind Of Unfamiliar Comfort. I Was With Family. I Was With Blood. And I Slept.

Don’t Go Looking For Trouble; It’s Already Looking For You.

But There's A Juicy Artery In Your Groin," He Said After A Pause To Regroup, His Voice As Slithery As A Snake On A Slide. "don't You Talk Dirty," I Told Him. "i Won't Listen To That.

A Dog – A Collie – Went Up To Eric, Looked Up At His Face, And Growled. “shoo,” Eric Said, Making An Imperious Gesture With His Hand.

By The Way, I Haven't Heard An 'i'm Sorry' From You Yet." My Sense Of Grievance Had Overwhelmed My Sense Of Self-preservation. I Am Sorry That The Maenad Picked On You." I Glared At Him. "not Enough," I Said. I Was Trying Hard To Hang On To This Conversation. Angelic Sookie, Vision Of Love And Beauty, I Am Prostrate That The Wicked Evil Maenad Violated Your Smooth And Voluptuous Body, In An Attempt To Deliver A Message To Me." That's More Like It.

They Say When One Door Shuts, Another One Opens. But They Haven’t Been Living At My House. Most Of The Doors I Open Seem To Have Something Scary Crouched Behind Them, Anyway.

You Never Told Me All This Before," I Said, By Way Of Explanation. "you All Have Divided Up America Into Kingdoms, Is That Right?

Pam: "claude, The Mouthwateringly Beautiful Asshole?

The God Entered Some Women So Completely That They Became Immortal, Or Very Close To It. Bacchus Was The God Of The Grape, Of Course, So Bars Are Very Interesting To Maenads. In Fact, So Interesting That They Don't Like Other Creatures Of Darkness Becoming Involved. Maenads Consider That The Violence Sparked By The Consumption Of Alcohol Belongs To Them; That's What They Feed Off, Now That No One Formally Worships Their God. And They Are Attracted To Pride.

You Might Have Been Paid Back Enough To Suit You" I Said, "but I Don't Know If You've Been Paid Back Enough To Suit Me.

Do You Sometimes Wish You Could Fast-forward A Week? You Know Something Bad's Coming Up, And You Know You'll Get Through It, But The Prospect Just Makes You Feel Sick. I Worried For About Thirty Minutes, And Though I Knew There Was No Point In Doing So, I Could Feel My Anxiety Twisting Me Up In A Knot. 'bullshit,' I Told Myself Stoutly. 'this Is Utter Bullshit.

We Could Go Back," He Said. In The Dome Light Of The Car, His Face Looked Hard As Stone. "we Could Go Back To Your House. I Can Stay With You Always. We Can Know Each Other's Bodies In Every Way, Night After Night. I Could Love You." His Nostrils Flared, And He Looked Suddenly Proud. "i Could Work. You Would Not Be Poor. I Would Help You." "sounds Like A Marriage," I Said, Trying To Lighten The Atmosphere. But My Voice Was Too Shaky. "yes," He Said.

I Want To Be First. I Know That’s Selfish, And Maybe Unattainable, And Maybe Shallow. But I Just Want To Come First With Someone. If That’s Wrong Of Me, So Be It. I’ll Be Wrong. But That’s The Way I Feel.” (sookie Stackhouse)

Fiction Just Makes It All More Interesting. Truth Is So Boring.

You Know I Love You More When You're Cold And Heartless.

I Love You More

God Bless The American Spectator.

For Awhile I Taped Soap Operas And Watched Them At Night When I Thought I Might Be Forgetting What It Was Like To Be Human. After A While I Stopped, Because From The Examples I Saw On Those Shows, Forgetting Humanity Was A Good Thing.

Oh, God, Puppy Dog Eyes. From A Six-foot-five Ancient Viking Vampire.

Then Was Ashamed Of Myself. I Should Be Happy For What I'd Been Given. I Hoped God Hadn't Noticed My Lapse In Appreciation.

You Catch More Flies With Honey Than You Do With Vinegar.

You Are Speaking Of My Future Lover. Be More Respectful.

Come On, Lover, Let's Have A Look," Eric Said, Giving Me A Quick Kiss. He Jumped Off The Back Porch With Me Still Attached To Him—like A Large Barnacle

Hey, Our Hair's The Same Color," I Said, Eying Us Side By Side In The Mirror. "sure Is, Girlfriend." Eric Grinned At Me.

He Pulled My Coat Off My Shoulders, Looked At It With Distaste, Hung It On The Back Of One Of The Chairs Pushed In Under The Kitchen Table. "you Are Beautiful". No One Had Ever Looked Me In The Eyes And Said That. Eric To Sookie, Page 208.

There’s No Way You Can Kill Someone And Get To The Other Side Of The Experience Unchanged.

That's Just Not Right," Sam Muttered. "claude Needs To Keep His Pants On.

Sookie, My Little Bullet-sucker" Eric, My Big Bullshitter

The Vampire Is Not A Bad Man, And He Loves You

It Was One Of God's Jokes That Such A Dumb Mind Had Been Put In Such An Eloquent Body.

Because He Sounded So Lost-the Eric I Knew Had Never Been One To Do Anything Other Than Assume Others Should Serve Him-i Patted Around Under The Covers For His Hand. When I Found It, I Slid My Own Over It. His Palm Was Turned Up To Meet My Palm, And His Fingers Clasped Mine. And Though I Would Not Have Thought It Possible To Go To Sleep Holding Hands With A Vampire, That's Exactly What I Did.

A Year Ago,' I Said, 'you Wouldn’t Have Asked This Of Me.' 'a Year Ago,' He Answered, 'you Wouldn’t Have Hesitated To Drink.' I Crossed To The Desk And Tossed It Down.

Bill Said, "she Is Mine." I Wondered If My Hands Would Move. They Would. I Raised Both Of Them, Making An Unmistakable One-fingered Gesture. Eric Laughed, And Bill Said "sookie!" In Shocked Admonishment. "i Think That Sookie Is Telling Us She Belongs To Herself," Eric Said Softly.

It's Hard Not To Respond When A Master Of The Art Of Kissing Is Laying One On You.

Coffe Is The Perfume Of Morning.

Sookie Stackhouse

As It Was, I Couldn't Escape The Feeling That I Was Out Of My Element. I Found Myself Thinking Of A Book I'd Left Half-read At Home And Wishing I'd Stuck It In My Purse So I Could Pull It Out Now.

Eric Was Incensed, To Use A Good Entry From My Word Of The Day Calender. In Fact His Eyes Were Almost Throwing Sparks He Was So Angry. "this Woman Has Been Mine, And She Will Be Mine" He Said In Tones So Definite I Thought About Checking My Rear End For A Brand.

I Was Momentarily Sidetracked By The Vision Of Eric Herding A Cow Into A Trailer And Driving It To The Shoulder Of The The Interstate And Shooing It Into The Trees.

You Were So Sweet When You Didn't Know Who You Were.

He Managed To Convey Indifference, Contempt, And Boredom In The One Word.

Jb’s Mother Had Taught Him Early On That Appreciated Women Are Happy Women.

I Hate Not Knowing What I Did." _eric

Silver, Gold - I Don't Discriminate! I Like Sparkly Things.

No Matter What Happens In Public—no Matter What—don’t Doubt That I Love You And Care About Your Welfare . . . As Much As I Am Able.

Trees Had Died To Make These Forms, And That Seemed A Great Pity To Me.

Life Should Imitate Romance Literature Far More Often.

Snow, Here?" Eric Was As Delighted As A Child. "i Love Snow!" Why Was I Not Surprised? "maybe We Will Get Snowed In Together," He Said Suggestively, Waggling His Blond Eyebrows.

"i'm Hoping That The More You See Me, The More I'll Grow On You." "like A Fungus?

Sookie Stackhouse

Why Don't They Just Take Him Out?" I Asked. I'm Not Politically Minded, As I Guess You Can Tell. Mr. Cataliades Was Smiling At Me. "so Direct, So Classic," He Said. "so American.

It Wasn't Often You Ran Into Bondage/elvis/whorehouse-themed Vampire Club

I Had Never Realized A Woman Could Have To Struggle To Keep Her Hands Off A Man, But Here I Was, Digging My Nails Into My Palms, Staring At The Inside Of My Eyelids As Though I Could Maybe See Through Them If I Peered Hard Enough.

Something Always Turns Up. It Always Seems Darkest Before The Dawn. When God Closes A Door He Opens A Window. All Things Happen For A Reason. Into Every Life A Little Rain Must Fall. What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger.

Are You A Prude?' He Seemed Genuinely Curious. 'no!' But After A Second, I Said, 'but May Be Compared To You, Yes! I Like My Privacy. I Get To Decide Who Sees Me Naked. Do You Get My Point?' 'yes. Objectively Speaking, You Have Beautiful Points.' I Thought The Top Of My Head Would Pop Off... (sookie Stackhouse & Claude, Dead In The Family)

Following Simon's Adventures Is Like Being The Pinball In An Especially Antic Game, But It's Well Worth The Wear And Tear.

He Gave Me A Look Sure To Put Frost On Anyone's Pumpkin.

It Was Like Being Around A Particularly Irritating Two-year-old.

Once Again, I Had That Feeling Of Drowning When I Hadn’t Even Known I Was In The Pool

I Stroked Eric's Hair, Tucking Some Behind His Ear. His Eyes On Mine Were Intent, And I Knew He Was Waiting For Me To Speak. "i Wish," I Said, "i Could Save Orgasms In A Jar For When I Need Them, Because I Think I Had A Few Extra." Eric's Eyes Widened, And All Of A Sudden He Roared With Laughter. (dead To The World)

Maybe She Was Being So Hoity-toity Because She Didn't Have Her Own Fairy Godmother.

Fairy Godmother

Jason's Favorite Person In The Entire Universe Was Jason Stackhouse.

Favorite Person

This Must Be The Legendary Yankee Rudeness

I Could Add Her To The Long List Of People I Didn't Understand.

Better To Be Screwed Physically Than Financially.

Do I Look Like I Have Anything ?" I Asked Him, In A Reasonable Voice. He Looked As Unnerved As The Nurse Had. He Said, "sorry," And Backed Away. I Took A Step After Him. I Screamed, "i Have Nothing!" And Then I Said, In A Perfectly Calm Voice, "see, I Never Had Anything To Start With.

If This Was The Lord Of The Rings And I Had A Smart British Voice Like Cate Blanchett, I Could Tell You The Background Of The Events Of That Fall In A Really Suspenseful Way. And You’d Be Straining To Hear The Rest.

We Might Be On The Same Page, But I Wasn't Happy About Reading It.

Sometimes, Instead Of Going Down The Road Less Taken, You Just Charge Down The Beaten Path.

But In My Book, It Was Basically Bad Taste To Stare At Someone's Assets, No Matter How Much On Display They Were.

I Met Elvis In Your Woods One Night,” Terry Said. One Of The Emts Had Given Him A Shot, And I Thought It Was Beginning To Work. “i Knew I Was Nuts Then. He Was Telling Me How Much He Liked Cats. I Told Him I Was A Dog Person, Myself.

I've Got Libraries In My Blood.

I Abjure You,” Alcide Said. Colonel Flood Winced, And Young Sid, Amanda, And Culpepper Looked Both Astonished And Impressed, As If This Were A Ceremony They'd Never Thought To Witness. “i See You No Longer. I Hunt With You No Longer. I Share Flesh With You No Longer.

You Have To Play It Out Sometimes.

I Had Two Cups Of Coffee, Put Eric's Jeans In The Washer, Read A Romance For Awhile, And Studied My Brand-new Word Of The Day Calendar, A Christmas Gift From Arlene. My First Word Of The New Year Was 'exsanguinate.' This Was Probably Not A Good Omen.

...but Also Because I Find I Really Do…" He Paused, As If He Were About To Say Something Outrageous. "i Find I Have Feelings For You." "oh," I Said Into His Chest, Sounding As Astonished As Eric Had(...)"eric," I Said, After A Long Pause, "i Almost Hate To Say This, But I Have Feelings For You, Too.

Eric Followed Vlad Tepes’s Stubby Finger, Identifying Me As The Future Happy Meal. Then He Stared At Dracula, Looking Up From His Kneeling Position. I Couldn’t Read His Face At All, And I Felt A Stirring Of Fear. What Would Charlie Brown Have Done If The Great Pumpkin Wanted To Eat The Little Red-haired Girl?

Vampires Should Never Say Uh-oh!!

I Would've Asked Him To Bring A Shovel And Come To Help Me Dig A Body Up. That Was What A Boyfriend Should Do, Right?" -sookie Stackhouse

Well, That's Certainly... Adequate," I Told Him, Burying My Face In His Chest. I Knew Immediately I'd Picked The Wrong Word. "adequate?" He Took My Hand, Placed It On The Part In Question. It Immediately Began To Stir. He Moved My Hand On It, And I Obligingly Circled It With My Fingers. "this Is Adequate?" "maybe I Should Have Said It's A Gracious Plenty?" "a Gracious Plenty. I Like That," He Said.

Finally, I Drew In A Long Breath. It Was Noisy And Painful And Just Heaven.

The Night Swelled With Magic; Not The Beneficent Kind Of Love-magic That Sweeps Couples Away, But The Kind Of Magic That Rips And Tears, The Enchantment That Creeps Out Of The Woods And Pounces.

People Are Really Interested In The Concept Of Eternal Youth In This Plastic-surgery Culture.

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