Background Image

...

At 60, I Could Do The Same Things I Could Do At 30, If I Could Only Remember What Those Things Are.

-Billy Crystal

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

At 60, I Could

Billy Crystal

...

At 60, I Could Do The Same Things I Could Do At 30, If I Could Only Remember What Those Things Are.

Views: 4

Topic

More From Billy Crystal

I Was Introducing [director And Producer] Hal Roach - Mr. Roach Was 100 Years Old, He Was One Of The Fathers Of Early Days In Films, He Put Laurel With Hardy, He Created The Our Gang Kids, And All These Silent Movies He Did - He Was A Giant.

That's The Thing About Jazz: It's Free Flowing, It Comes From Your Soul.

By The Time A Man Is Wise Enough To Watch His Step, He's Too Old To Go Anywhere.

I'm A Sucker For A Free Tuxedo.

When Comedy Is Good, It's Jazz. The Beats Of It, The Looseness, The Improvisational Part, The Music-the Way You Hit The Inflection, The High Notes Of A Joke. It's All Melody To Me.

[i Did Impressions] Of Relatives Because I Heard So Many Different Sounds. My Dad Was In The Music Business And Of Course My Uncle Was A Giant [music Producer], But My Dad In Particular Had The House Filled With These Dixieland Jazz Stars.

Despite What The Wall Street Journal Says, Our Awards Are The Best-kept Secret In America, With The Possible Exception Of What George W. Bush Did In The '70s.

Best Kept Secrets

Since I Was A Kid, Every Thanksgiving Growing Up In New York, We Always Watched 'the March Of The Wooden Soldiers' By Laurel And Hardy. Never Miss It.

My Mind Is Always Going. I'm Always Thinking What I Need To Do, What I Haven't Done, What I Did Do, What I Didn't Do As Well As I Could - I'm Relentless That Way With Myself.

At Some Point I Stopped Stand-up Because I Didn't Have Something To Say On A Nightly Basis.

Gentlemen, Start Your Egos!

I Have 40-something Intros [that Davis Jr. Did]; All Are Different, None Of Them Happened. And It Was Hilarious.

To Be Good, You Need To Believe In What You're Doing.

I'm Married - I've Caught My Limit.

Nobody Is More Truthful When He's Acting Than De Niro.

I'm Comfortable Being Old... Being Black... Being Jewish.

When We Had The Girls, My Daughter Jenny Gave Us Like A Bible From My Daughter Of, "don't Feed Them This; Don't Feed Them That, If She Says This, Don't Say That," It Was Crazy!

I'm A Baby. I Sleep Like A Baby - I'm Up Every Two Hours. And I Think A Lot. I Worry A Lot. I Have Great Nights Of No Sleep Where Ideas Come.

Consider The Rose...the Rose Is The Sweetest Smelling Flower Of All, And It's The Most Beautiful Because It's The Most Simple, Right? But Sometimes, You Got To Clip The Rose. You Got To Cut The Rose Back, So Something Sweeter Smelling And Stronger, And Even More Beautiful, Will Grow In Its Place

You Have To Really Respect What Your Kids Are Doing With Their Kids And How They're Raising Them. You Can't Push Your Way Into Areas Where You Shouldn't Be Saying Anything. You Have To Always Remember They're Not Your Own Kids. Play With Them, Love Them, Spoil Them To Death - Then Hand Them Back.

For Almost 40 Years, He Was The Brightest Star In The Comedy Galaxy... Their Beautiful Light Will Continue To Shine On Us Forever. And The Glow Will Be So Bright, It'll Warm Your Heart, It'll Make Your Eyes Glisten, And It'll Make You Think To Yourselves: Robin Williams, What A Concept.

My Grandparents Invented Joylessness. They Were Not Fun. I've Already Had More Fun With My Grandchildren Than My Grandparents Ever Had With Me.

I Quit Drinking. That Was A Big Problem For A Lot Of Years. Then After That, I Just Started Feeling Grateful Again.

Kids Need A Happy Household. They Need To Be Loved And Supported In Their Dreams. And I Don't Think You Can Make Your Kids' Dreams Your Own. They Need You To Support Them In Their Dreams.

When I've Gotten Criticism, It's That It's Too Long, Too Soft, Didn't Hit The Government Hard Enough. Then When I Do Hit The Government, They Go, What's He Doing Hitting The Government?

As A Director And An Actor, I Encourage Improvisation But In Character And In The Moment Of What It Is.

What's So Fascinating And Frustrating And Great About Life Is That You're Constantly Starting Over, All The Time, And I Love That.

Did You Ever Reach A Point In Your Life, Where You Say To Yourself, 'this Is The Best I'm Ever Going To Look, The Best I'm Ever Going To Feel, The Best I'm Ever Going To Do,' And It Ain't That Great?

You Give Up Your Dream, You Give Up.

I Don't Like Heights. This Is Why I Stopped Growing At Fifth Grade.

Change Is Such Hard Work.

I Was A Film-directing Major At Nyu. I'm Still Not Sure Why I Became A Directing Major, When I Was Really An Actor And A Comedian, But There Was Something That Drew Me To Doing That.

[my Mother] Is The Greatest Hero I'll Ever Know Because She Kept Us All Together, She Made Sure We All Graduated College. She Always Believed In Us No Matter What We Do. My Older Brother Joel Became An Art Teacher; My Brother Rip Ultimately Became A Television Producer And Singer And Actor Himself.

I Always Came Away Thinking "i'd Like To See Her More," You Know? And Then When [parental Guidance] Was Ready To Be Cast, We Thought - Bette [midler]. So We Called Her.

Good News, They Found Nemo! The Bad News Is, They Found Him In One Of Wolfgang Puck's Puff Pastries.

I'm Going To Be Your Grandpa! / I Have The Biggest Smile. / I've Been Waiting To Meet You For Such A Long, Long While.

I Think When I Feel I'm At My Best Is When I'm On Stage, And It's My Version Of Jazz Because It's Just Riffing Or Something.

When You Realize You Want To Invest The Rest Of Your Lifestyle With Somebody, You Want The Rest Of Your Life To Commence As Quickly As Achievable.

Rest Of Your Life

Those Are All Real Things That I Experienced, Not With [my Daughters] Growing Up But With The, You Know - I'm Trying Not To Step Into Something And Get A Call, "dad Why'd You Say That?"! But We'd Go To Games [where Score Wasn't Kept], And I'd Get It, But I Wouldn't Get It, Because I Think There's A Real Value In Winners And Losers, In Not Everybody Getting A Trophy - It Makes You Work Hard, You Appreciate What It Takes, To Say, "why Didn't We Win?" You Shouldn't Be Condemned For Losing.

I Had A Dream That Connie Chung Is Doing A Newscast About My Death And They Show A Clip From Soap.

The Inspiration Was This Great Group Of 40 Or 50 Relatives, Sometimes For Thanksgiving Or Passover Or Something And My Brothers Would Just Go Up And Make Them Laugh.

I Never Stopped Believing In Us And I Never Felt Like I Was Wanting For Anything, Except For My Father, And That Was Not Going To Be. I Describe In The Book [that] I Don't Think I Ever Felt Young Again In That Way. I Never Felt I Had My 15, 16, 17 Kind Of Years The Way I Maybe Should Have. It's A Huge Dent In You That It's Hard To Knock Out And Make It All Smooth Again.

I Used To Limp Around My Neighborhood Imitating Him. I Did My Bar Mitzvah With An Oklahoma Drawl.

This Time I Particularly Loved Because It Came From A Real Experience With My Grandchildren. Having Them Alone Alone For The First Time For Six Or Seven Days And Going "wow, This Is Exhausting," Because When You're Not Around Little Ones For A Long Time, You Forget About How Much Work That Is. So I Came In And Started Writing The Story That Became This Movie ['parental Guidance'].

I Didn't Rebel As A Child. I Missed That Angry Teenager Thing.

A Laugh Is A Weird Sound, And When You Get A Couple Thousand People Making It At Once, It's Really Strange. But When I Can Feel Proud Of Myself For Causing It, It's Great.

I Always Was A Performer, From The Time I Was Little. It Was Always A Natural Place For Me To Be.

It Is Better To Look Good Than To Feel Good.

Well, The Way Things Are Going, Aside From Wheat And Auto Parts, America's Biggest Export Is Now The Oscar.

Bambi, To A Kid, Was Scary.

The Passion Of The Christ Opened Up On Ash Wednesday, Had A Good Friday.

If You Do Something For The First Time, You Will Always Remember It. If Your Dad Has Something To Do With It, You Write About It.

I've Always Thought That The Key To A Good Sex Life Is Variety. That's Why God Gave Me Two Hands. Humans Love Sex, We Need Sex, It's How We Connect, It Reminds Us We're Alive, It's The Third Most Basic Human Need, After Food And Good Movie Popcorn.

Nothing Can Take The Sting Out Of The World’s Economic Problems Like Watching Millionaires Present Each Other With Golden Statues.

It's Money. I Remember It From When I Was Single

Even When I Was In School Shows, In Elementary School Doing Plays, I'd Always Go Off Book And Start Improvising.

At 60, I Could Do The Same Things I Could Do At 30, If I Could Only Remember What Those Things Are.

Two Thousand Years Ago Jesus Is Crucified, Three Days Later He Walks Out Of A Cave And They Celebrate With Chocolate Bunnies And Marshmallow Peeps And Beautifully Decorated Eggs. I Guess These Were Things Jesus Loved As A Child.

Women Need A Reason To Have Sex, Men Just Need A Place.

In High School, I Was The Class Comedian As Opposed To The Class Clown. The Difference Is The Class Clown Is The Guy Who Drops His Pants At The Football Game, The Class Comedian Is The Guy Who Talked Him Into It.

Whoo-hoo-hoo, Look Who Knows So Much. It Just So Happens That Your Friend Here Is Only Mostly Dead. There's A Big Difference Between Mostly Dead And All Dead. Mostly Dead Is Slightly Alive. With All Dead, Well, With All Dead There's Usually Only One Thing You Can Do. Go Through His Clothes And Look For Loose Change.

You Really Have To Have Some Muscle To Be On The Stage In Front Of The World.

I'm Going To Go On Just Living And Laughing And Loving.

From The First Time I Saw Sid Caesar Be Funny I Knew That's What I Had To Do.

I Had Really Good Hearing And When You're Scared It Gets Heightened So You Hear Scratching Noises Or Something.

I Love Doing It [hosting The Oscars] Because I Love The Danger Of It And You Have To Come Through And Think On Your Feet. That's Why That Show, No Matter Who Hosts It, It Really Should Be A Fast-thinking Comedian Who Is Really Quick On Their Feet That Can Handle Situations That Happen, Or Somebody With That Kind Of Mentality That Can Capitalize On Something.

Dad Had A Music Store, And He'd Often Bring Home Comedy Albums That I Would Listen To. I Started Listening To Bob Newhart And Bill Cosby, And Developing Taste. They Really Influenced My Style Of Comedy.

Great News! Hosting Oscars Counts Five Hours Toward My Community Service!

Trending Author

Fantasia Barrino

Category