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When You’ve Been Poor All Your Life, You Never Really Think It Could Be Any Other Way. And Sometimes You’re Even Happy, Because At Least You’ve Got Your Family And Your Health And Your Arms And Legs And A Roof Over Your Head.

-Marie Lu

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When You’ve Been Poor

Marie Lu

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When You’ve Been Poor All Your Life, You Never Really Think It Could Be Any Other Way. And Sometimes You’re Even Happy, Because At Least You’ve Got Your Family And Your Health And Your Arms And Legs And A Roof Over Your Head.

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Roof Over Your Head

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Be True To Yourself. But That's Something Everyone Says And No One Means. No One Wants You To Be Yourself. They Want You To Be The Version Of Yourself That They Like.

He Loves So Wholly. It Is His Nature. He Blinks, Then Tries To Find The Right Response. "i-" He Stumbles. "i'm So Afraid, June. So Afraid Of What Might Happen To-" I Put Two Fingers Against His Lips To Hush Him. "fear Makes You Stronger," I Whisper. Before I Can Stop Myself, I Put My Hands On His Face And Press My Mouth To His.

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Tell Me There Is Still Good In The World. Tell Me There Is Still Hope For All Of Us.

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Hi," He Says. "i'm Daniel." "hi," I Reply. "i'm June.

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Few People Ever Kill For The Right Reasons, June. Most Do It For The Wrong Reasons. I Just Hope You Never Have To Be In Either Category.

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Idiotic Reply, June. Why Don't You Punch Him In The Face While You're At It. I Turn Even More Flustered When I Remember That I Have Actually Pistol-whipped Him In The Face Before. Romantic

Where I Come From, We're More About Efficiency,' He Replies. 'a Knife Like This'll Skewer Food, Smear Butter, And Slit Throats All At The Same Time.

I Could Be Compassionate, If I Wanted. Metias Would Be Merciful. But I Was Never As Good A Person As My Brother.

He Is Beauty, Inside And Out. He Is The Silver Lining In A World Of Darkness. He Is My Light.

Well...can't Be Any More Dangerous Than Your Crazy Hospital Break-in Yeah?"-tess (pg 59)

I'd Once Been Fascinated By His Legend - All The Stories I'd Heard Before I Met Him. Now I Can Feel That Same Sense Of Fascination Returning. I Picture His Face, So Beautiful Even After Pain And Torture And Grief, His Blue Eyes Bright And Sincere. I'm Ashamed To Admit That I Enjoyed My Brief Time With Him In His Prison Cell. His Voice Can Make Me Forget About All The Details Running Through My Mind, Bringing With It Emotions Of Desire, Or Fear Instead, Sometimes Even Anger, But Always Triggering Something. Something That Wasn't There Before.

My Heart Is Ripped Open, Shredded, Leaking Blood. I Can't Let Him Leave Like This. We've Been Through To Much To Turn Into Strangers.

You Should Have Taken Me With You," I Whisper To Him. Then I Lean My Head Against His And Begin To Cry. In My Mind, I Make A Silent Promise To My Brother's Killer. I Will Hunt You Down. I Will Scour The Streets Of Los Angeles For You. Search Every Street In The Republic If I Have To. I Will Trick You And Deceive You, Lie, Cheat And Steal To Find You, Tempt You Out Of Your Hiding Place, And Chase You Until You Have Nowhere Else To Run. I Make You This Promise: Your Life Is Mine.

Forever And Ever, Kid, Until You're Sick And Tired Of Seeing Me.

Day Appears Again. This Time He Leans In Close Enough For His Hair To Brush, Light As Silk, Against My Cheeks. He Pulls Me Towards For A Long Kiss. The Scene Vanishes, Replaced Abruptly By A Stormy Night And Day Struggling Through The Rain, Blood Dripping From His Leg And Leaving A Trail Behind Him. He Collapses Onto His Knees In Front Of Razor Before The Whole Scene Disappears Again.

I Don't Like Seeing Her This Delicate.

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I've Always Been Interested In Exploring The Concept Of Child Prodigies. When I Was Younger, I Wrote A Story About Mozart As A Child And I Just Always Loved This Idea Of Young People Who Are Able To Take Control Of Their Lives And Bring A Whole Lot Of Change At Such A Young Age.

Sometimes, The Sun Sets Earlier. Days Don’t Last Forever, You Know. But I’ll Fight As Hard As I Can. I Can Promise You That.

You Threw Everything Away."i Bring A Hand Up To Touch Her Face,to Wipe The Rain From Her Eyelashes."your Entire Life-your Beliefs...why Would You Do That For Me?" June Has Never Looked More Beautiful Than She Does Now,unadorned And Honest,vulnerable Yet Invincible.when Lightning Streaks Over The Sky,her Dark Eyes Shine Like Gold."because You Were Right,"she Whispers."about All Of It.

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Day Just Smiles At Me, An Expression So Sad That It Breaks Through My Numbness, And I Begin To Cry. Those Bright Blue Eyes. Before Me Is The Boy Who Has Bandaged My Wounds On The Streets Of Lake, Who Has Guarded His Family With Every Bone In His Body, Who Has Stayed By My Side In Spite Of Everything, The Boy Of Light And Laughter And Life, Of Grief And Fury And Passion, The Boy Whose Fate Is Intertwined With Mine, Forever And Always. "i Love You," He Whispers. "can You Stay Awhile?

I Make Sure To Keep A Good Distance Between Us, Just In Case She Decides To Get Happy With A Knife Or Something.

Please Don't Take Him Away From This World. Please Don't Let Him Die Here In My Arms, Not After Everything We've Been Through Together, Not After You've Taken So Many Others. Please, I Beg You, Let Him Live. I Am Willing To Sacrifice Anything To Make This Happen- I'm Willing To Do Anything You Ask. Maybe You'll Laugh At Me For Such A Naive Promise, But I Mean It In Earnest, And I Don't Care If It Makes No Sense Or Seems Impossible. Let Him Live. Please. I Can't Bear This A Second Time. Tell Me There Is Still Good In This World. Tell Me There Is Still Hope For All Of Us.

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You're Brilliant,"he Says."but You're A Fool To Stay With Someone Like Me." I Close My Eyes At The Touch Of His Hand."then We Are Both Fools.

To. I Will Trick You And Deceive You, Lie, Cheat And Steal To Find You, Tempt You Out Of Your Hiding Place, And Chase You Until You Have Nowhere Else To Run. I Make You This Promise: Your Life Is Mine

When You’ve Been Poor All Your Life, You Never Really Think It Could Be Any Other Way. And Sometimes You’re Even Happy, Because At Least You’ve Got Your Family And Your Health And Your Arms And Legs And A Roof Over Your Head.

Roof Over Your Head

My Mother Used To Hope That I Would Rise Up From My Humble Roots. Become Someone Sucessful, Or Even Famous. I'm Famous All Right, But I Don't Think It's What She Had In Mind.

The Memory Fades, And I’m Left Hanging On To The Ghosts Of His Words.

June Laughs. "i Have To Say, You Look Better Than Most People I See. I've Heard A Lot About You." "i Hear About You A Lot Too," Eden Replies In A Rush, "mostly From Daniel. He Thinks You're Really Hot.

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He Has Tears In His Eyes Now. The Sight Is More Than I Can Bear. He Takes Two Steps Away From Me And Then Turns Back Like A Caged Animal. “do You Even Love Me?” He Suddenly Asks. He Grips Both Of My Shoulders. “i’ve Said It To You Before, And I Still Mean It. But I’ve Never Heard It From You.

Tess," I Say. "i'm Going To Head Down To The Water.i'll Be Back In A Minute." "you Sure You Can Make It By Yourself?" She Asks. "i'll Be Fine." I Smile. "if You See Me Floating Unconscious Out To Sea,though-by All Means,come And Get Me.

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You Drive Me Insane June. You're The Scariest, Most Clever, Bravest Person I Know, And Sometimes I Can't Catch My Breath Because I'm Trying So Hard To Keep Up. There Will Never Be Another Like You. You Realize That, Don't You? Billions Of People Will Come And Go In This World, But There Will Never Be Another Like You.

Then I Realize From The Hollow Sound Of Her Gun's Click That Her Gun Isn't Loaded. Apparently She Just Wants To Slap Me Around With It.

When You Stand Out There," John Continues In A Hoarse Voice, "keep Your Chin Up, All Right? Don't Let Them Get To You." "i Won't." "make Them Work For It. Punch Someone If You Have To." John Gives Me A Sad, Crooked Smile. "you're A Scary Kid. So Scare Them. Okay? All The Way Until The End." For The First Time In A Long Time, I Feel Like A Little Brother. I Have To Swallow Hard To Keep My Eyes Dry. "okay," I Whisper.

I Feel So Out Of Place Here. No Matter How Much Money The Republic Throws At Me, I Will Forever Be The Boy From The Streets.

Without Emotion, What's The Point Of Being Human?

See?" She Says. "tricked You. You're Always Staring At Your Opponents Eyes-but That Gives You A Bad Peripheral View.if You Want To Track My Arms And Legs, You Have To Focus On My Chest." I Raise My Eyebrow At That. "say No More.

No Matter What Happens In The Future, No Matter Where Our Paths Take Us, This Moment Will Be Ours.

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For A Small Moment, I Fix My Eyes On His, Telling Him Silently Everything That I'll Never Say To Him Aloud.

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I'm Telling You That You Got Your Facts Wrong. I Didn't Kill Your Brother. But You Killed My Mother. You Might As Well Have Held The Gun To Her Head!

I Take A Step Toward Him And Grin Cheerfully. "with All Due Respect, I Don't See The Republic Tacking Up Wanted Posters With Your Pretty Face On Them.

He Pauses When He Finishes Undoing The Last Button, Then Closes His Eyes. I Can See The Pain Slashed Across His Face, And The Sight Tears At Me. The Republic's Most Wanted Criminal Is Just A Boy, Sitting Before Me, Suddenly Vulnerable, Laying All His Weaknesses Out For Me To See.

It Is Pointless To Believe What You See, If You Only See What You Believe.

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There's A Conflicted Look In Day's Eyes, A Joy And A Grief, That Makes Him So Vulnerable. I Realize How Little Defense He Has Against My Words. He Loves So Wholly. It Is His Nature.

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I Don't Know If Anyone's Ever Told You This", He Begins. He Doesn't Blush, And His Eyes Don't Dart Away. Instead I Find Myself Starring Into A Pair Of Oceans - One Perfect, The Other Blemished By That Tiny Ripple. "you're Very Attractive." I've Been Complimented On My Appearance Before. But Never In His Tone Of Voice. Of All The Things He's Said, I Don't Know Why This Catches Me Off Guard. But It Startles Me So Much That Without Thinking I Blurt Out, "i Could Say The Same About You." I Pause. "in Case You Didn't Know." A Slow Grin Spreads Across His Face. "oh, Trust Me. I Know.

Day, The Champion Of The People, The One Who Can't Bear To See Those Around Him Suffer On His Behalf, Who Would Gladly Give His Life For Those He Loves.

June Has Never Looked More Beautiful Than She Does Now, Unadorned And Honest, Vulnerable Yet Invincible.

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The First Time I Saw You, When You Stepped Into That Skiz Ring Against Kaede, I Thought You Were The Most Beautiful Girl I'd Ever Seen. I Could've Watched You Forever. The First Time I Kiss You..." That Memory Overpowers Me Now, Taking Me By Surprise. I Remember Every Last Detail Of It, Almost Enough To Push Away The Lingering Images Of The Elector Pulling June To Him. "well, That Might As Well Have Been My First Kiss Ever.

So, Tell Me,” He Whispers. “how Fast Did You Climb Those Fourteen Stories?” Thomas Makes A Disapproving Sound In His Throat, But I Break Into A Grin. Storm’s Past. Metias Loves Me Again. “six Minutes,” I Whisper Back To My Brother. “and Forty-four Seconds. How Do You Like That?” “that Must Be Some Sort Of Record. Not That, You Know, You’re Supposed To Do It.

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[...] Tess And I Are A Good Match. She Understands Intimately Where I Came From. She Can Cheer Me Up On My Darkest Days. It's As If She Came Perfectly Happy Home Instead Of What Kaede Just Told Me. I Feel A Relaxing Warmth At The Thought, Realizing Suddenly How Much I'm Anticipating Meeting Up With Tess Again. Where She Goes, I Go, And Vice Versa. Peas In A Pod. Then There's June. Even The Thought Of Her Name Makes It Hard For Me To Breathe. I'm Almost Embarrassed By My Reaction. Are June And I A Good Match? No. It's The First Word To Pop Into My Mind. And Yet, Still.

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Wounds And Scars

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Then Day Reaches Out And Touches My Hand With His. He Encloses It In A Handshake. And Just Like That, I Am Linked With Him Again, I Feel The Pulse Of Our Bond And His- Tory And Love Through Our Hands, Like A Wave Of Magic, The Return Of A Long-lost Friend. Of Something Meant To Be. The Feeling Brings Tears To My Eyes. Perhaps We Can Take A Step Forward Together. “hi,” He Says. “i’m Daniel.” “hi,” I Reply. “i’m June.

We're In This Together, Right?" He Whispers. "you And Me? You Want To Be Here, Yeah?" There's Guilt In His Questions. "yes," I Reply. "i Chose This." Day Pulls Me Close Enough For Our Noses To Touch. "i Love You.

Day, The Boy From The Streets With Nothing Except The Clothes On His Back And The Earnestness In His Eyes, Owns My Heart. He Is Beauty, Inside And Out. He Is The Silver Lining In A World Of Darkness. He Is My Light.

You Try To Walk In The Light.

So, When I Thought June Might Take You Away, I Didn’t Know What To Do. I Felt Like She Was Taking Everything That Mattered To Me. I Felt Like She Was Taking Away From You All The Things That I Didn’t Have. That’s Why I’m Sorry. I’m Sorry Because You Shouldn’t Have To Be Everything To Me. I Had You, But I’d Forgotten That I Had Myself Too.

What A Joke! Poor Little Rich Girl's Fallen In Love With The Republic's Most Famous Criminal.

We Can Heal. Perhaps We Can Return To That Same Place We Once Stood, When We Were Both Young And Innocent.

You Know, Sometimes I Wonder What Things Would Be Like If I Just ... Met You One Day. Like Normal People Do. If I Just Walked By You On Some Street One Sunny Morning And Thought You Were Cute, Stopped, Shook Your Hand, And Said, "hi, I'm Daniel.

I Can Feel His Presence Here In Every Stone He Has Touched, Every Person He Has Lifted Up, Every Street And Alley And City That He Has Changed In The Few Years Of His Life, Because He Is The Republic, He Is Our Light, And I Love You, I Love You, Until The Day We Meet Again I Will Hold You In My Heart And Protect You There, Grieving What We Never Had, Cherishing What We Did. I Wish You Were Here. I Love You, Always.

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