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When I Moved Out Of My Mom's House At 18 I Was Almost As Sad To Leave Her Sewing Machine Behind As Anything Else.

-Beth Ditto

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When I Moved Out

Beth Ditto

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When I Moved Out Of My Mom's House At 18 I Was Almost As Sad To Leave Her Sewing Machine Behind As Anything Else.

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I Know What I Want! And I Just Go For It.

I Worshipped Ethel Merman And I Worshipped Ethel Merman A Lot. It's Incredible - Ethel Merman Was A Conventional Singer. Her Naming Her Child Ethel Merman, Jr., Was, To Me, One Of The Coolest Feminist Things.

I Believe I Owe All The Best Parts Of My Adulthood To Embracing My Imperfections And Showcasing Them.

I Knew That If I Wanted To Stop Being A Pushover I Had To Get Comfortable With Small Rejections Myself. That Took Some Work, But Because Of It I Can Now Say No To Other People With A Clear Conscience.

Clear Conscience

My Dad Liked To Boil A Squirrel Head And Suck The Brains Out The Nose. Smaller Than A Chicken, Bigger Than A Rat.

I Never Went To College And I Was Raised In Arkansas So There Wasn't A Lot Of Academic Language Being Thrown Around My House. We Weren't Idiots, But I Didn't Have That Access To Academic Feminism. I Had To Realize, On My Own, That Feminism Is Not Just About How Far Ahead You Can Get In A Job And It Isn't About Not Wearing Makeup. It Isn't About Not Watching Your Waistline. I Had To Recreate The World Entirely.

I Have A Very Good Relationship With Myself. My Favourite Quote Is, "what You Think About Me Is None Of My Business."

Good Relationship

Portland Is A Place Where You Can Find A Community As A Feminist, A Vegan Or A Fat Activist. Artists, Musicians, Knitters, And Filmmakers Can All Meet Like-minded Souls. It's Proved The Perfect Place For Me And All My Punk Friends.

A Weird Thing About Gossip That I've Always Said: "if I Weren't In This Band, I Would Never Listen To It." But I Would Go See It. It's A Band You Would Go See That You Don't Necessarily Listen To.

Just Like My Straight Friends, I Am Repeatedly Asked When I Plan To Have Kids, And Have Been Told Many Times, By Various Branches Of My Bloodline, That "even Lesbians Can Have Babies These Days."

I've Had People Ask Me In Interviews What It's Like To Have Money, But That's Not How It Is. I Have A Middle-class Life. I Have A Room In London But Not A House, Nor A Bmw.

I Was Overcome By The Holy Ghost One Time, But In A Baptist Way. I Was Six Or Seven, And I Was Saved. I Just Cried And Cried. It Was Joy!

There Is Something To Be Said For People Who Have To Work Hard, Be Creative, Produce What They Have With Little - Or No - Means. Those Of Us From Poor Homes Have The Advantage Of Thinking For Ourselves And Of Knowing That When Times Get Hard, Things Could Always Be Worse.

I'm Constantly Thinking About What I'll Do Next. I Never Count On Music Being A Career Of Longevity. I Mean, Longevity Is Key, And I Hope That It Lasts, But You Just Don't Know, Because It's Not In Your Hands, You Don't Make The Decision.

I Have No Control Over What People Think Of Me But I Have 100% Control Of What I Think Of Myself, And That Is So Important. And Not Just About Your Body, But So Many Ways Of Confidence. You're Constantly Learning How To Be Confident, Aren't You?

High School Wasn't So Bad Though Because, By Then, I Had Worked Out That There Were Far More Nerdy Kids And Poor Kids Than There Were Rich, Popular Kids, So, At The Very Least, We Had Them Outnumbered.

True Love Is About Being Able To Accept Raw Emotions, No Matter How Difficult.

Starting Out Really Punk Came From Not Knowing Any Better And Listening To Music Like That, Not Knowing How To Play Music - Well, Still Not Knowing How To Play Music.

If You Have A Therapist Who Agrees With Your Every Word, Then Your Brain Isn't Getting Proper Exercise.

I Think It's Really Cool That There Are People Like Adele On The Cover Of 'vogue' And 'rolling Stone,' And Like I Think It's Really Important That People Are Talking About Your Body, Because If They Don't, Then You'll Never Be Able To Break That Barrier.

With A Stretch Belt, Anything Can Be A Dress - A Dinner Napkin, A Tablecloth, Even A Towel. Just Wrap And Snap, And Away You Go In An Incredible Outfit. Another Plus Is That The Belt Will Pull All Eyes To Your Lovely Curves, And They Even Look Good Around A Coat Or A Jacket.

When You See A Fantastic Colour Or Cut In A Magazine, Perched Up On Some Famous So-and-so's Head, It's Tempting To Ask Your Stylist For The Same, But Do Not Be Fooled. The Hair In Those Fancy Photos Can Be Very High Maintenance.

I Don't Get Mad With People, Like, 'oh, But That's Not What The Song Was About...' It's Also Nice To Know That People Are Mindlessly Dancing To A Song About The Us Government's Stance On Same-sex Marriages... Especially Straight Jocks. I Love That Idea. I Think That's The Beauty Of Music - It's Different For Everybody.

I Shave My Body In All Kinds Of Ways, Wear Tons Of Eyeliner And Dye My Hair Pink.

Thanks To Capitalism, The Importance Placed On Beauty Has Never Been So Manipulated. We Are The Guinea Pigs Force-fed Ads That Tell Us How Pathetic We Are: That We Will Never Be Loved, Happy Or Valuable Unless We Have The Body, The Face, The Hair, Even The Personality That Will Apparently Be Ours, If Only We Buy Their Products.

Because I Didn't Have Any Queer, Lesbian, Female Role Models I Hated My Own Femininity And Had To Look Deep Within Myself To Create An Identity That Worked For Me. Pop Culture Just Doesn't Hand Us Enough Variety To Choose From.

Female Role Models

When I Moved Out Of My Mom's House At 18 I Was Almost As Sad To Leave Her Sewing Machine Behind As Anything Else.

I Love Adele So Much And It's Honestly Not Because We're Both Big.

There Is No Rule In The Pink-triangle Guide To Coming Out That You Must Wear A Rainbow Flag Cap And Organise A Full Band Parade.

You Know, Either I'm Too Fat Or I'm Flavour Of The Month. I Don't Feel Either, But Maybe I'm Both, Who Knows?

I'm Shameless, And I Love A Pun. There's A Lot Of Beth Puns.

I Thought To Be Feminine Was To Give In To Straight Culture, Or The Beauty Standard, But In My Heart I Had A Flair For Fashion And Style. They Were Passions I Kept Secret Because I Didn't Understand I Could Love Clothes And Hair And Makeup And Still Like Girls.

The Black Bubble Dress Is A Must! The Leggings Are Absolutely Amazing Too, They Fit Perfectly And Let You Breath When Still Being Super High-waisted. They Are Everything And So Easy To Pair Anything With.

I Always Was Really Confident About Myself, About My Voice, Myself As A Person, My Body, All Of Those Things, But As A Songwriter - I Just Didn't Identify As A Songwriter At All.

I Never Said I Wanted To Be A Singer For The Rest Of My Life.

Sometimes Love Can Mean Letting Go And Loving Each Other From A Distance. Maybe That's What You're Feeling?

I Was Always Being Told Off At School. The Teachers Would Say: 'everyone's Talking, But You're The One I Can Hear.

I Just Like Food Too Much, And I Don't Want To Change. I Spent So Much Of Childhood Trying To Change, And I Just Got Sick Of It ... I Don't Want To Look Like Britney Spears, I Just Don't Want To. She's Hideous.

For Me The Greatest Revenge Of All Is Having A Happy Adulthood, Waking Up In My Gorgeous Turquoise Bedroom In The Morning Beside A Person Who Really Inspires Me. That's The Best Revenge A Girl-loving-girl From The Bible Belt Could Possibly Have. And, Importantly, It's Healthy.

I'm Naturally A Mousy Blonde, So I Dye My Hair, And My Eyebrows Would Disappear If I Didn't Get Through At Least A Pencil A Month.

I've Had A Ton Of Fast-food Jobs - It Changes Your Approach To Human Interaction Forever.

Growing Up As A Chubby Kid With A Ton Of Imaginary Friends And A Cyndi Lauper Obsession, I Learned About Rejection Early On And Was Constantly Trying To Avoid It.

I Mean, If I Was Living To Please People, I'd Have Never Been In A Band At All. I Wouldn't Have Anything Awesome Around. I'd Just Be Bored.

We Have To Stop This Idea That We Have To Be A Certain Shape.

Reclaiming The Word Fat Was The Most Empowering Step In My Progress. I Stopped Using It For Insult Or Degradation And Instead Replaced It With Truth, Because The Truth Is That I Am Fat, And That's Ok. So Now When Someone Calls Me Fat, I Agree, Whereas Before I Would Get Embarrassed And Emotional.

I Find Inspiration Everywhere. I Love Challenges And My Favorite Thing Is To Find Something Ridiculous And Be Like "if It's All That I Have Available To Me, I Am Gonna Make It Look The Best That I Can".

Favorites Things

I Said To My Teacher, 'i Can't Be A Singer Because I'm Not Pretty Enough, And I'm Fat.' And She Looked At Me And Said, 'tell That To Nell Carter, Babe.' That Changed My Life Forever!

I Was Born To Be Married. I Just Feel Comfortable There. I Love The Idea Of Being Partnered For Ever. I Love My Girlfriend, We've Been Best Friends Since I Was 18. There's Not A Thing We Haven't Been Through Except For Marriage... We've Had Talks About What We Would Name Our Kids Since We Were In Our 20s.

I'm A Feminist, Of Course, And I Feel As If I'm Very Politically Correct, Although I Do Question What's Pc And What's Not - I Don't Just Accept What I'm Told.

I Support Love Any Healthy Way You Can Get It.

I Love Vivienne Westwood. Her Work Is So Interesting, You Can Always Find Something That's Great And Fits You.

Girls Are Taught To Sing High And Pretty, Like Antony, Not Low And From The Guts Like Nina Simone. But We're Slowly Trying To Change That. There Are So Many Things We're Not Told Growing Up, And It's Our True Feminist Responsibility To Take The Truth To The People Who Need To Hear It.

There Is No Shame Like Poor Shame. It Can Make You Warm And Charming, Bitter And Resentful, All At Once.

My Number-one Theory In Life Is That Style Is Proportional To Your Lack Of Resources - The Less You Have, The More Stylish You're Likely To Be.

Products Are A Must - Full Stop. I'm Sorry To Say It, But That Bob Won't Look So Sleek On Its Own - You Need A Little Help. It Doesn't Have To Be The High-end Stuff That They Sell In The Salon. Products You Find In The Supermarket Are Just As Good, And Sometimes Better.

The Shape Is The Most Important To Me Because It Is What Really Matters And What's Really Missing In The Market. Anything Else Is Easier.

I Don't Love The Word Luxury Because It Feels Bougy To Me.

I Grew Up With The Motto Of "they Can't Kill You And Eat You," And I Still Think That's Right. You Sure As Hell Can't! When It Comes To Speaking About My Body Makes Other People Uncomfortable But It Doesn't Make Me Uncomfortable. It Makes Them Think More About Themselves Than It Makes Them Judge Me. I've Always Had This Body And Had To Live With It. I've Never Been A Little Thing. I've Been Smaller But I've Never Been Small, Even As A Baby. I've Never Had That Window Into That Kind Of World Where People Only Talk To You Because You're Conventionally Sexy.

I Hate To Do What I'm Told, That's Why I'm Not Good At 9-to-5s.

I Wish I Could Open A Piece Of My Brain And You Could See Into My Memories.

I Love Sad Songs. They Say So Much. I Love Country Music But Even The Happy Songs Sound Really Sad.

Even Talking, I'm Super-loud. I Could Never Have That Kind Of Meek, Little Wispy Whimsical Lavender And Lace Voice. It Comes From My Body. There's No Way I Can Fight It.

I Think That For The Five-year-old Watching Mtv Right Now, Lady Gaga Is Going To Be An Iconic Person. In 20 Years, The People Who Are Here And Talking To Journalists Will Be Like, 'oh Lady Gaga Changed My Life, Nicki Minaj Changed My Life.' They'll Be Saying Who Influenced Them And It Will Be Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Artists Like That.

I Don't Feel Famous And I Didn't Want My Autobiography To Be Like A Paris Hilton Story.

Olympia Was A Town Crawling With Music. I Was New To The Whole Punk Scene. The Culture Shock Continued; Olympia Had Bagels! We Didn't Have Bagels In Arkansas. You Could Order Vegetarian Food All Over Town! It Was So Crazy To Me - A Place With So Many Vegetarians, The Restaurants Made Special Dishes For Them?

I Really Worshipped Mama Cass A Lot. Mama Cass, Who Was Really Fat And She Didn't Lose Weight. Yeah, She Went On Diets But For The Most Part Of Her Life And The Better Part Of Her Career She Was A Big Person.

I Think If The World Were A Fair And Just Place, There Wouldn't Even Need To Be A Gay Label.

I Want To Make The Ikea Of Clothes For Fat Girls And Boys. Cheap, Affordable, Basic - But Ethically Made. Basics, You Know? Like Spanx - I'm Still Confused As To Why Retailers Haven't Ripped Them Off Yet And Done It Well. It's Because They Don't Understand The Basics Behind It. I Love Spanx. I'm Wearing 'em Right Now!

I Have Been 130 Lbs. As Well As 215 Lbs. I Have Had Blond, Strawberry Blond, Green, Pink And Purple Hair, And None Of That Has Ever Exempted Me From Having Lewd Comments Flung At Me In The Street.

As With Most Phobias, The Fear Of Flying Does Make Some Sense, But If Ever There Was A Fear Worth Quashing Then This Is It. After All, Life Is Short, And There's A Great Big World To Explore Out There.

When I Was A Kid Ellen Degeneres And Rosie O'donnell Were Mere Blips On The Gaydar; And They Were Both Still In The Closet.

Here Is My Prescription To Heal All Wounds. Watch The Film Funny Girl At Least Five Times, Eat At Least 45 Chocolate Bars, And Hang Out With All Those Friends You Blew Off To Hang Out With Your Ex. I Truly Believe That, Through A Combination Of Nutella, Old Pals And Barbra Streisand, We Can Achieve Happiness And, Very Probably, World Peace.

Funny Motivational

I Think From A Major-label Perspective, If You Were On The Flip Side Of Things And That's The World You Were Used To Working In, Your Interpretation Could Be, "oh, They're Having Trouble Writing Songs," When Really It's Like, "no, I'm Not Ready To Write Songs, I Don't Want To Write A Song Right Now, If I Did Write A Song, It Would Be Forced."

Instagram Is A Roman Arena Of Insults. Everyone Is A Lion, But It Is Fun.

We All Seek Approval, And Our Mother's Seal Is Usually The Most Important. The Nitty Gritty Is That We Have To Accept Ourselves, Even If It Is Just To Be Ready For The Next Cut-down. Mom's Blessing Or Not.

I Was Born Fat And Have Always Been, Which Was Just Fine And Even Healthy And Cute Until I Turned Ten Or So. Puberty Hit Like A Hurricane And Brought A New Set Of Rules. All Of A Sudden It Was My Fault I Was Chubby.

My Mother Told Me Homer Ditto Was Not My Father. Nope. Mom Had Had A Fling With Some Other Guy Who Was My Dad. Some Dude Who Didn't Stick Around Too Long Who Mom Was Happy To Get Rid Of. She Chose Homer, And Homer Chose Me, So He Lent Me His Name Even Though I Didn't Have His Blood.

For Years Now I Have Run A Kitchen-sink Punk Salon In My House, Called Salon Du Gay. In The Early Days, People Would Pay For A Riot Grrrl Bob Or A Passable Bleach Job With A Mixtape, $3 Or A Selection Of Baked Goods - Whichever They Could Afford. More Recently Though, With Gossip Doing Well, I've Performed These Punk Hair Transformations For Free.

The Fit Is My Main Focus, I Want The Fit To Be Great And That's The Focal Point For Me.

Someone Told Me Once That Lucinda Williams Takes Six Years Between Albums, And That's What Stuck To Me; It's Like, You Really Are A Factory. You Don't Do Things To Make Them, On Your Own Time.

My Life Hasn't Been Conventional And It Hasn't Been Linear. I've Had To Make It Up As I've Gone Along, Which Has Taught Me A Lot. If You Don't Accept The Obvious Options That Are Laid Out For You, It's Up To You To Work Out Where You're Going And To Create Your Own Specific Rules And Goals.

When You Get A Certain Amount Of Media Attention, I Think People Are Like, "where's Your Other Album?"

I'm Like Cheddar: Yes, Other Cheeses Are More Ooh La La, But I'm Strong, Mature, And Oh So Delicious.

We Had So Many Milestones In America. We Were On Our Way To Universal Healthcare. We Had Gay Marriage. We Were Talking About Gender Fluidity And Trans Issues Openly And Discussing Them With Respect. It Was Almost To The Point Where Educating People About Transgender Rights Wasn't An Issue. We Were Including Trans People As A Normal Part Of Our Conversations Instead Of Seeing Their Presence As This Shocking Thing To The System. We Forgot That Those Things Can Be Taken Away From You Because There Are People In The World That, For Whatever F - King Reason, Can't Live And Let Live.

When I Was A Teenager I Would Lock Myself In The Bathroom For Hours, Bouffanting My Hair Like Patty Duke And Trying To Recreate Barbra Streisand's Flawless Eyeliner, Only To Comb It All Out And Wash It All Off Before Stepping Out Into The World A Butchish Bisexual Teen.

I Can Take Care Of A House, And Some People I Meet, I Think, 'you Don't Even Know How To Make A Bed.

This Is How I Feel About Everything That's Out Of Your Control: Once You Make A Record, It's Not Yours Anymore. There's Nothing You Can Do. It's The Way I Feel About Political Movements - Both Of Those Things Grow On Their Own.

When I Think About The Idea Of Rebel Wilson Having To Go To The Oscars And Not Having Something Amazing To Wear That's Made For Her, It Drives Me Mad.

I Was Given Baby Doll Toys Myself, And They Proved A Stark Reminder That My Life Was Expected To Revolve Around Childbearing - Just As My Mom's Had Before Me, And Her Mom's Had Before Her.

Do I Ever Think Gossip Will Be Really Massive In America? No, I Don't Think It'll Happen - And That's Fine. It's Kind Of Nice Because I Get To Experience Everything At Once. I Get To Come Home And It Not Be Weird, Like In Paris Or Something. It Is Nice To Be Completely Anonymous.

I Don't Have A Good Attention Span And Can't Spend Long In Record Stores Or Video Shops Or Games Emporiums Without Getting Grumpy.

Aretha Franklin Was A Teenage Mom, A Musician Who Came From An Incredible Christian Background, And Where There Was A Lot Of Love, Which Is Really Inspiring In A Feminist Way.

For My Group Of Friends Is Lady Gaga Eye-opening? No. She's A Less Dangerous Version Of What Was So Cool About Pop Culture In The 80s. Back Then It Was So Gay And So Punk In So Many Ways.

The Plus-size Revolution That Has Been Happening Lately Is Incredible But It's Also Creating This "other" Beauty Standard In Which You Have To Be An Hourglass, You Have To Be Super Sexy And Fierce About Showing Off Your Curves. That's Quite Frightening To Me, And I Don't Fit In It, I Don't Want To Fit It.

All This Fashion Stuff - Who's Cool Now - Is Just A Bigger Version Of The Cool Kids Versus The Nerds.

The Thing About Being On The Majors, From The Beginning, Going Into This, I Was Like, "i'm Not Going To Be Treated Like A Factory," Because That's Never The Way It Was Done Before. You're Talking About A Major Label, We're Talking About Serious Business; You're Not An Artist Anymore, You're A Business, You Have To Work In Terms Of Product, You Have To Release A Product, And I Don't Really Think That Way At All.

I Always Think That People Think That Women In Music Are Always Angry. I'm Not Angry. Rock 'n' Roll Music Made By Men Is So Much More Over-the-top Aggressive Than When A Women Says "you" And They're Screaming It, It's Like, 'oh My God!' I'm Like, 'have You Heard Rock Music Made By Men?'

I'm 90% Performer, 10% Musician. I've Always Said That Gossip Are A Band I Would Go See, Not A Band I Would Listen To.

Granny Ditto Always Referred To Perfume As "smell Good" And For Me It's An Essential. I Have A Sweetheart Who's Extremely Allergic To Most Scents, So I Have To Be Extra Careful - As Well As Creative - In The Smell Department. The Key, I've Found, Are Essential Oils, Which Come In All Kinds Of 100% Natural Scents.

I Feel Dance And Pop Music Genres Are Extremely Female And Extremely Gay. When It Comes To Art And Pop Culture, Queers Are F - King Weirdos. We Don't Have Gender Rules That Tell Us What We Can And Can't Be. We Just Make It Up As We Go Along. We Have Full Creative License To Be Whatever We Want To Be.

Abba Was A Direct Influence On Me.

We Were A Small Group Of Weirdos And Baby Punks And Gays And Free Spirits Who Had To Use Our Imaginations A Lot. We Only Saw Pictures And Read Zines, So We Could Only Interpret The Aesthetic And Message Of Punk Scenes Around The World. We Were Basically The Duck-billed Platypuses Of Punk.

You Know How People Love To Glamorize Poverty? There's Nothing Glamorous About It. But It Did Make Me Really Creative. Those Days, I Was Literally Taking T-shirts In The Day And Sewing Them Back Together To Make Dresses For The Night.

Some Makeup Companies Have Really Good Recycling Policies, And It's Worth Finding Out Whether Your Favourites Are Among Them. With Mac, For Instance, You Can Take Any Of Your Old Makeup Containers Into Its Shops, And The Sweetest Deal Is That, Once You've Racked Up Six Containers, You Get A Free Lipstick Or Lip Gloss.

I Have No Control Over What People Think Of Me But I Have 100% Control Of What I Think Of Myself.

I Certainly Know First Hand The Waste One Lady Can Create Through Her Primping Routine, Because I Am A Victim Of Fashion: To Me A Day Without Makeup And A Bouffant To Match Is A Day Wasted. I Love It All - Whether It's Fancy, Cheap Or, I'm Ashamed To Say, Even If It's Bad For The Environment.

As A Kid, I Was Always Mad - Just Noticing The Women At Thanksgiving, Running Around The Kitchen, While The Men Were Watching Football. For One, I Don't Want To Cook, And For Two, I Hate Football. I Was Stuck In The Middle.

I'm Not Sure That I Am Able To Feel Embarrassment.

It's Funny How Something So Normal And Mundane That You See Every Day-your Body-can Be Controversial. The Shock Value Is Intense. It's Like Carrying An Art Piece Around With You All The Time.

I've Belched A Lot More Since I Had Gall Bladder Surgery. I Don't Know Why.

I Have Learned So Much Making First Collection That I Am Excited To Use All Of It Towards Making The Next One Even Better! It's Been An Amazing Learning Curve And Experience.

Even If You're Only Wearing Trainers And A Vest, Eyeliner Will Instantly Transform You. People Always Look Put-together When Their Make-up's On And Their Eyes Are Popping - Just Ask Amy Winehouse!

'get A Job' Is About All The Rich Kids We Knew When We Were Younger, Kids Who Never Had Jobs But Always Had Money For Partying Or Getting Their Hair Done.

I Love To Make People Feel Like They Are Taking A Part In Their Own Body And Evolution.

I'm A Great Believer In Karma And The Vengeance That It Serves Up To Those Who Are Deliberately Mean Is Generally Enough For Me.

I Have A Lot Of Feminist Idols. My Favorite Thing About Growing Up In Arkansas - Well, Not Favorite But Something I've Always Felt Grateful For - Was That I Really Had To Dig For What I Could. There Was No Internet. There Wasn't Tons Of Feminist Literature Floating Around.

I'm On A Diet. It's Very Strict: All Hot Dogs. Just Sausages, Constantly. It's Working Out - I've Gained Fifteen Pounds!

Life Is Not About Creating An Unreal Existence. People Should Be Challenged To Find Something Cool About The Mundane.

To Be Thin And To Stay Really Thin, Sometimes Some People Literally Do Coke All The Time. Some People Smoke Cigarettes Instead Of Eating. That's Crazy. But That's 'okay' Because You Look Healthier.

I'm Passionate About Color. My Best Friend And I Sit And Look At Pantone Books For Fun.

You Don't Pigeonhole Yourself, People Pigeonhole You. If The World Is Not At A Place Yet Where It Can Just Be Like, "this Music Is Gay And It's Music," Then It's Not My Fault That It Gets Pigeonholed, It's Not The People In The Band's Fault, It's Because People Won't Just Let Music Be Music, People Who Need To Put A Name On Something Or To Critique Something.

Not Everyone Wants To Be Sexy Everyday, Wearing Tight Dresses And Spanx.

A Beautiful Plant Is Like Having A Friend Around The House.

I Work Really Well Under Pressure But I Really Hate Doing Things On A Timeframe.

I Am Tired Of Spending A Little Bit Of Money In A Lot Of Pieces Because They Keep On Falling Apart.

Barack Obama Was Amazing, But He Wasn't Perfect. We All Know That. He Was The Closest Thing To Perfect America's Ever Had. We Were Basking In The Glow. We Forgot That There's Always Going To Be A Backlash Within A Movement Every Time. When I Think About Race, There Were A Lot Of Pockets Of People That Were Still Living In Fear Under The Obama Administration, But We Were In This Blissful Celebration Mode. Now We Are Constantly Reminded That, Although There Are Lots Of Good People In The World, There Are Just As Many Horrible People.

This Archaic Idea - That A Woman Who Is Unmarried And Childless At 30 Is Somehow Unnatural - Will Probably Always Exist, And, Like Most Social Standards, It Is Ridiculous.

In Moments When I Question If I Should Be Having Kids, I Think Of All Those Phone Calls From My Sister-in-law, In Which, 3,000 Miles Away, I Hear My Nephews Screaming For Her Attention. I Tell Her I Have To Go Because I Am Packing To Leave For Europe, And Her Tone Flatlines: "that Must Be Nice."

Why Wear Pants When You Can Wear A Muumuu?

My Size Has Helped Make Me An Amazing Performer Too. The Cliche Of The Funny Fat Friend: I Absolutely Was That Character - I Am That Character... It's A Complicated Bag Of Tools I Acquired, And I've Put Them All To Work Onstage.

I've Never Had A Very Quiet Voice. I Tried In Choir To Make It Smaller, And It Just Didn't Work Out. And I Listened To A Lot Of Soul Music When I Was Growing Up On My Own Accord. But I Was Mostly Into Mama Cass And Gladys Knight, And They All Had Big Voices Too; Just Different Than Mine.

A Few Years Back, When My Style Was "punk Grandma", I Picked Up An Amazing Pair Of Sandals - Orthopaedic Ones, With Really Thick Soles. I've Given Them Away To A Friend Now, Because These Days My Look Is More "1980s Substitute Teacher Gone Wild."

I Feel Sorry... For People Who've Had Skinny Privilege And Then Have It Taken Away From Them. I Have Had A Lifetime To Adjust To Seeing How People Treat Women Who Aren't Their Idea Of Beautiful And Therefore Aren't Their Idea Of Useful, And I Had To Find Ways To Become Useful To Myself.

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