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We're Taught To Find The Antecedents To Our Adult Failures In Childhood Traumas, And So We Spend Our Lives Looking Bacwards And Pointing Fingers, Rather Than Bucking Up And Forging Ahead. But What If Your Childhood Was All A Big Misunderstanding? An Elaborate Ruse? What Does That Say About Failure? Better Yet, What Does That Say About Potential?

-Heidi Julavits

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We're Taught To Find

Heidi Julavits

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We're Taught To Find The Antecedents To Our Adult Failures In Childhood Traumas, And So We Spend Our Lives Looking Bacwards And Pointing Fingers, Rather Than Bucking Up And Forging Ahead. But What If Your Childhood Was All A Big Misunderstanding? An Elaborate Ruse? What Does That Say About Failure? Better Yet, What Does That Say About Potential?

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I Used To Have A Really Sharp Memory. And Its Loss Has Proven Destabilizing From An Identity Perspective.

If You Agree With An Outside Person's Interpretation Of You, That's A Happy Bit Of Affirmation. It Means You're Communicating Externally What You Believe To Be True Internally. If You Disagree, It Helps Clarify How You Understand Yourself. And Maybe Makes You Productively Question How To Improve Your Communication Skills.

Home Is The Place Where, When You Go There, They Have To Take You In. In Other Words: Home Has Exceedingly Low Standards.

The Belief That One's Suffering Has A Greater Cosmic Purpose, And Is Thus More Exciting And More Noble, Well, It Made A Lot Of Sense To Me.

To Believe You're Being Psychically Attacked Gives You An Understanding Of Your Illness That No Western Doctor Can Provide; This Can Be Reassuring When You've Exhausted The Western Doctor Tool Kit, And The Doctors Are Sending You To Acupuncturists For Pain Relief.

If I'd Done The Discovery Before I Wrote The Book, Then There Would Be Nothing To Discover. It Would Feel Dutiful Instead Of Exciting.

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I've Subsequently Become Conscious Of Making Memories. Which Makes Me Sound Like A Scrapbooker.

Making Memories

If I Can Just Stop Being So Stressed Out, Maybe My Cancer Will Get Better! This Is Far Less Scary Than Treating A Disease Of Unknown Etiology.

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I Can't Even Tell You What Else I Imagined. I Can Only Humiliate Myself To Such A Degree; At A Certain Point It Becomes Humorous, And This Story Is Not Meant To Be Humorous. This Story Is Meant To Winch Your Ribs Open And Tamper With Your Heart. This Story Is Meant To Make You Realize That Your Chances Of Happiness In This World Are Terribly Slim If You Lack A Fine Imagination.

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