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To Say Whatever Nonsense Comes Into Your Head Without Any Repercussions Has Got To Be A Bigger High Than Heckling A Movie Screen In A Darkened Theater.

-Lenny Bruce

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To Say Whatever Nonsense

Lenny Bruce

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To Say Whatever Nonsense Comes Into Your Head Without Any Repercussions Has Got To Be A Bigger High Than Heckling A Movie Screen In A Darkened Theater.

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You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

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You Are A White. The Imperial Wizard. Now, If You Don't Think This Is Logic You Can Burn Me On The Fiery Cross. This Is The Logic: You Have The Choice Of Spending Fifteen Years Married To A Woman, A Black Woman Or A White Woman. Fifteen Years Kissing And Hugging And Sleeping Real Close On Hot Nights. With A Black, Black Woman Or A White, White Woman. The White Woman Is Kate Smith. And The Black Woman Is Lena Horne. So You're Not Concerned With Black Or White Anymore, Are You? You Are Concerned With How Cute Or How Pretty. Then Let's Really Get Basic And Persecute Ugly People!

The 'what Should Be' Never Did Exist, But People Keep Trying To Live Up To It. There Is No 'what Should Be,' There Is Only What Is.

Today's Comedian Has A Cross To Bear That He Built Himself. A Comedian Of The Older Generation Did An Act And He Told The Audience, This Is My Act. Today's Comic Is Not Doing An Act. The Audience Assumes He's Telling The Truth. What Is Truth Today May Be A Damn Lie Next Week.

I Was A Jew Talking About Goyim Religion. If I Had Just Stuck To Moses, Everything Would Have Been Cool. But, Copping To Being Part Of The Whole Christ Murder Conspiracy Got Everyone Goose-stepping Again.

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I Would Become A Priest Or A Rabbi Or A Monk Or Whatever The Hell Was Necessary To Perform Miracles Such As Taking Money From Someone Else's Pocket And Putting It Into Mine, Still Remaining Within The Confines Of The Law.

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.

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If You Believe There Is A God, A God That Made Your Body, And Yet You Think That You Can Do Anything With That Body That's Dirty, Then The Fault Lies With The Manufacturer.

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There Are No Dirty Words, Only Dirty Minds.

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All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair.

Now A Jew, In The Dictionary, Is One Who Is Descended From The Ancient Tribes Of Judea, Or One Who Is Regarded As Descended From That Tribe. That's What It Says In The Dictionary; But You And I Know What A Jew Is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And Although There Should Be A Statute Of Limitations For That Crime, It Seems That Those Who Neither Have The Actions Nor The Gait Of Christians, Pagan Or Not, Will Bust Us Out, Unrelenting Dues, For Another Deuce.

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