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These Books Have Not Made George Nobler Or Better Or More Truly Wise. It Is Just That He Likes Listening To Their Voices, The One Or The Other, Acording To His Mood. He Misuses Them Quite Ruthlessly - Despite The Respectful Way He Has To Talk About Them In Public - To Put Him To Bed, To Take His Mind Off The Hands Of The Clock, To Relax The Nagging Of His Pyloric Spasm, To Gossip Him Out Of His Melancholy, To Trigger The Conditioned Reflexes Of His Colon.

-Christopher Isherwood

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These Books Have Not

Christopher Isherwood

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These Books Have Not Made George Nobler Or Better Or More Truly Wise. It Is Just That He Likes Listening To Their Voices, The One Or The Other, Acording To His Mood. He Misuses Them Quite Ruthlessly - Despite The Respectful Way He Has To Talk About Them In Public - To Put Him To Bed, To Take His Mind Off The Hands Of The Clock, To Relax The Nagging Of His Pyloric Spasm, To Gossip Him Out Of His Melancholy, To Trigger The Conditioned Reflexes Of His Colon.

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I Feel It's So Easy To Condemn This Country [the United States]; But They Don't Understand That This Is Where The Mistakes Are Being Made - And Made First, So That We're Going To Get The Answers First.

I Doubt If One Ever Accepts A Belief Until One Urgently Needs It.

Sometimes Awful Things Have Their Own Beauty.

One Should Never Write Down Or Up To People, But Out Of Yourself.

I Am Alive, He Says To Himself, I Am Alive! And Life Energy Surges Hotly Through Him, And Delight, And Appetite. How Good To Be In A Body - Even This Old Beat-up Carcass - That Still Has Warm Blood And Live Semen And Rich Marrow And Wholesome Flesh!

The Sea Only Drowns Its Lovers.

Every Writer Has Certain Subjects That They Write About Again And Again, And . . . Most People's Books Are Just Variations On Certain Themes.

At One Campus Where I Was Lecturing, I Asked A Friend, "how Many Of My Colleagues Know I'm Gay?" He Answered, "all Of Them." I Wasn't Surprised. But, Just The Same, It Was Kind Of Spooky, Because Not One Of Them Had Ever Given Me The Faintest Sign That He Or She Knew. If I Had Spoken About It Myself, Most Of Them Would Have Felt It Was In Bad Taste.

Horror Is Always Aware Of Its Cause; Terror Never Is. That Is Precisely What Makes Terror Terrifying.

California Is A Tragic Country - Like Palestine, Like Every Promised Land.

I'm Like A Book You Have To Read. A Book Can't Read Itself To You. It Doesn't Even Know What It's About. I Don't Know What I'm About.

I Seldom Try To Probe The Mystery Of My Sloth. I Have Squandered A Gigantic Fortune Of Work Hours... Seems Likely That I'll Go On Squandering Till The Very End.

The Prefect Evening...lying Down On The Couch Beside The Bookcase And Reading Himself Sleepy...jim Lying Opposite Him At The Other End Of The Couch, Also Reading; The Two Of Them Absorbed In Their Books Yet So Completely Aware Of Each Other's Presence.

For A Few Minutes, Maybe, Life Lingers In The Tissues Of Some Outlying Regions Of The Body. Then, One By One, The Lights Go Out And There Is Total Blackness. And Ifsome Part Of The Non—entity We Called George Has Indeed Been Absent At This Moment Of Terminal Shock, Away Out There On The Deep Water, Then It Will Return To Find Itself Homeless.

The Nazis Hated Culture Itself, Because It Is Essentially International And Therefore Subversive Of Nationalism. What They Called Nazi Culture Was A Local, Perverted, Nationalistic Cult, By Which A Few Major Artists And Many Minor Ones Were Honored For Their Germanness, Not Their Talent.

I'll Bet Shakespeare Compromised Himself A Lot; Anybody Who's In The Entertainment Industry Does To Some Extent.

Entertainment Industry

But Seriously, I Believe I'm A Sort Of Ideal Woman, If You Know What I Mean. I'm The Sort Of Woman Who Can Take Men Away From Their Wives, But I Could Never Keep Anybody For Long. And That's Because I'm The Type Which Every Man Imagines He Wants, Until He Gets Me; And Then He Finds He Doesn't Really, After All.

His Life Has Been Lived, So Far, Within Narrow Limits And He Is Quite Naïve About Most Kinds Of Experience; He Fears It And Yet Is Wildly Eager For It. To Reassure Himself, He Converts It Into Epic Myth As Fast As It Happens. He Is Forever Play-acting.

No One Ever Hates Without A Cause.

The Quito Telephone Service Is About As Reliable As Roulette.

These Books Have Not Made George Nobler Or Better Or More Truly Wise. It Is Just That He Likes Listening To Their Voices, The One Or The Other, Acording To His Mood. He Misuses Them Quite Ruthlessly - Despite The Respectful Way He Has To Talk About Them In Public - To Put Him To Bed, To Take His Mind Off The Hands Of The Clock, To Relax The Nagging Of His Pyloric Spasm, To Gossip Him Out Of His Melancholy, To Trigger The Conditioned Reflexes Of His Colon.

It Seems To Me That The Real Clue To Your Sexual Orientation Lies In Your Romantic Feelings Rather Than Your Sexual Feelings. If You Are Really Gay, You Are Able To Fall In Love With A Man, Not Just Enjoy Sex With Him.

Falling In Love

I Am A Camera With Its Shutter Open, Quite Passive, Recording, Not Thinking. Recording The Man Shaving At The Window Opposite And The Woman In The Kimono Washing Her Hair. Some Day, All This Will Have To Be Developed, Carefully Printed, Fixed.

Berlin Is A Skeleton Which Aches In The Cold: It Is My Own Skeleton Aching. I Feel In My Bones The Sharp Ache Of The Frost In The Girders Of The Overhead Railway, In The Iron-work Of Balconies, In Bridges, Tramlines, Lamp-standards, Latrines. The Iron Throbs And Shrinks, The Stone And The Bricks Ache Dully, The Plaster Is Numb.

I Am A Camera With Its Shutter Open, Quite Passive, Recording, Not Thinking.

What It Sees There Isn't So Much A Face As The Expression Of A Predicament.

In Order To Get The Worst Possible First Impression Of Los Angeles One Should Arrive There By Bus, Preferably In Summer And On A Saturday Night.

The More I Think About Myself, The More I'm Persuaded That, As A Person, I Really Don't Exist. That Is One Of The Reasons Why I Can't Believe In Any Orthodox Religion: I Cannot Believe In My Own Soul. No, I Am A Chemical Compound, Conditioned By Environment And Education. My "character" Is Simply A Repertoire Of Acquired Tricks, My Conversation A Repertoire Of Adaptations And Echoes, My "feelings" Are Dictated By Purely Physical, External Stimuli.

We Must Remember That Nothing In This World Really Belongs To Us. At Best, We Are Merely Borrowers.

The Landscape, Like Los Angeles Itself, Is Transitional. Impermanence Haunts The City, With Its Mushroom Industries--the Aircraft Perpetually Becoming Obsolete, The Oil Which Must One Day Be Exhausted, The Movies Which Fill America's Theatres For Six Months And Are Forgotten. Many Of Its Houses--especially The Grander Ones--have A Curiously Disturbing Atmosphere, A Kind Of Psychological Dankness Which Smells Of Anxiety, Overdrafts, Uneasy Lust, Whisky, Divorce And Lies.

George Smiles To Himself, With Entire Self-satisfaction. Yes, I Am Crazy, He Thinks. That Is My Secret; My Strength.

For Other People, I Can't Speak - But, Personally, I Haven't Gotten Wise On Anything. Certainly, I've Been Through This And That; And When It Happens Again, I Say To Myself, Here It Is Again. But That Doesn't Seem To Help Me. In My Opinion, I, Personally, Have Gotten Steadily Sillier And Sillier - And That's A Fact.

I'm Very Militant, You Know, In A Quite Way.

The Town Is An Advertisement For Itself; None Of Its Charms Are Left To The Visitor's Imagination.

She Is Sighing Deeply Now With Sympathy And Delight - The Delight Of An Addict When Someone Else Admits He's Hooked, Too.

By Helping Yourself, You Are Helping Humankind. By Helping Humankind, You Are Helping Yourself. That's The Law Of All Spiritual Progress.

Life Is Not So Bad If You Have Plenty Of Luck, A Good Physique, And Not Too Much Imagination.

Bad Writing Is Bad Not Just Because The Language Is Humdrum, But The Quality Of The Observation Is So Poor.

Staring And Staring Into The Mirror, It Sees Many Faces Within Its Face - The Face Of The Child, The Boy, The Young Man, The Not-so-young Man - All Present Still, Preserved Like Fossils On Superimposed Layers, And, Like Fossils, Dead. Their Message To This Live Dying Creature Is: Look At Us - We Have Died - What Is There To Be Afraid Of? It Answers Them: But That Happened So Gradually, So Easily. I'm Afraid Of Being Rushed.

Only Those Who Are Capable Of Silliness Can Be Called Truly Intelligent.

You See, Kenny, There Are Some Things You Don't Even Know You Know, Until You're Asked.

The Nazis Were Not Right To Hate The Jews. But Their Hating Of Jews Was Not Without A Cause. No One Ever Hates Without A Cause.

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Lois And Alexander Are By Far The Most Beautiful Creatures In The Class; Their Beauty Is Like The Beauty Of Plants, Seemingly Untroubled By Vanity, Anxiety Or Effort.

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The Paternalist Is A Sentimentalist At Heart, And The Sentimentalist Is Always Potentially Cruel.

A Minority Is Only Thought Of As A Minority When It Constitutes Some Kind Of Threat To The Majority, Real Or Imaginary. And No Threat Is Ever Quite Imaginary.

Waking Up Begins With Saying Am And Now. That Which Has Awoken Then Lies For A While Staring Up At The Ceiling And Down Into Itself Until It Has Recognized I, And Therefrom Deduced I Am, I Am Now. Here Comes Next, And Is At Least Negatively Reassuring; Because Here, This Morning, Is Where It Has Expected To Find Itself: What’s Called At Home.

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In Ten Minutes They Will Have Arrived On Campus. George Will Have To Be George; The George They Have Named And Will Recognise. So Now He Consciously Applies Himself To Thinking Their Thoughts, Getting Into Their Mood. With The Skill Of A Veteran, He Rapidly Puts On The Psychological Makeup For This Role He Must Play.

Do You Think It Makes People Nasty To Be Loved? You Know It Doesn’t! Then Why Should It Make Them Nice To Be Loathed? While You’re Being Persecuted, You Hate What’s Happening To You, You Hate The People Who Are Making It Happen; You’re In A World Of Hate. Why, You Wouldn’t Recognize Love If You Met It! You’d Suspect Love! You’d Think There Was Something Behind It—some Motive—some Trick.

Think Of Two People, Living Together Day After Day, Year After Year, In This Small Space, Standing Elbow To Elbow Cooking At The Same Small Stove, Squeezing Past Each Other On The Narrow Stairs, Shaving In Front Of The Same Small Bathroom Mirror, Constantly Jogging, Jostling, Bumping Against Each Other’s Bodies By Mistake Or On Purpose, Sensually, Aggressively, Awkwardly, Impatiently, In Rage Or In Love – Think What Deep Though Invisible Tracks They Must Leave, Everywhere, Behind Them!

I Am A Camera, With Its Shutter Open. Someday, All Of This Will Be Developed, Printed, Fixed.

In The Eternal Lazy Morning Of The Pacific, Days Slip Away Into Months, Months Into Years; The Seasons Are Reduced To The Faintest Nuance By The Great Central Fact Of The Sunshine; One Might Pass A Lifetime, It Seems, Between Two Yawns, Lying Bronzed And Naked In The Sand.

But Your Book Is Wrong, Mrs. Strunk, Says George, When It Tells You That Jim Is The Substitute I Found For A Real Son, A Real Kid Brother, A Real Husband, A Real Wife. Jim Wasn't A Substitute For Anything. And There Is No Substitute For Jim, If You'll Forgive My Saying So, Anywhere.

To Live Sanely In Los Angeles ... You Have To Cultivate The Art Of Staying Awake. You Must Learn To Resist (firmly But Not Tensely) The Unceasing Hypnotic Suggestions Of The Radio, The Billboards, The Movies And The Newspapers; Those Demon Voices Which Are Forever Whispering In Your Ear What You Should Desire, What You Should Fear, What You Should Wear And Eat And Drink And Enjoy, What You Should Think And Do And Be.

The Talk Of Pale, Burning-eyed Students, Anarchists And Utopians All, Over Tea And Cigarettes In A Locked Room Long Past Midnight, Is Next Morning Translated, With The Literalness Of Utter Innocence, Into The Throwing Of The Bomb, The Shouting Of The Proud Slogan, The Dragging Away Of The Young Dreamer-doer, Still Smiling, To The Dungeon And The Firing Squad.

As They Embrace, She Kisses Him Full On The Mouth. And Suddenly Sticks Her Tongue Right In. She Has Done This Before, Often. It’s One Of Those Drunken Long Shots Which Just Might, At Least Theoretically, Once In Ten Thousand Tries, Throw A Relationship Right Out Of Its Orbit And Send It Whizzing Off On Another. Do Women Ever Stop Trying? No. But, Because They Never Stop, They Learn To Be Good Losers.

We Live In Stirring Times- Tea-stirring Times.

The Past Is Just Something That's Over.

What Irritates Me Is The Bland Way People Go Around Saying, 'oh, Our Attitude Has Changed. We Don't Dislike These People Any More.' But By The Strangest Coincidence, They Haven't Taken Away The Injustice; The Laws Are Still On The Books.

I'm Horrified To Find, As I Look At These Diaries Of Twenty-five Years Ago Or More, That I Don't Remember Who The People Were. "bill And Tony Were Constantly In And Out. We Went To La Jolla" - Or Something. I Haven't The Bluest Idea Who They Were!

Someone Has To Ask You A Question," George Continues Meaningly, "before You Can Answer It. But It's So Seldom You Find Anyone Who'll Ask The Right Questions. Most People Aren't That Much Interested.

I Must Honor Those Who Fight Of Their Own Free Will, He Said To Himself. And I Must Try To Imitate Their Courage By Following My Path As A Pacifist, Wherever It Takes Me.

If It’s Going To Be A World With No Time For Sentiment, It’s Not A World That I Want To Live In.

But Now Isn’t Simply Now. Now Is Also A Cold Reminder: One Whole Day Later Than Yesterday, One Year Later Than Last Year. Every Now Is Labeled With Its Date, Rendering All Past Nows Obsolete, Until — Later Of Sooner — Perhaps — No, Not Perhaps — Quite Certainly: It Will Come.

California Is A Tragic Country — Like Palestine, Like Every Promised Land. Its Short History Is A Fever-chart Of Migrations — The Land Rush, The Gold Rush, The Oil Rush, The Movie Rush, The Okie Fruit-picking Rush, The Wartime Rush To The Aircraft Factories — Followed, In Each Instance, By Counter-migrations Of The Disappointed And Unsuccessful, Moving Sorrowfully Homeward.

I Certainly Should Have,' He Agrees, Smiling And Thinking What An Absurd And Universally-accepted Bit Of Nonsense It Is, That Your Best Friends Must Necessarily Be The Ones Who Best Understand You. As If There Weren't Far Too Much Understanding In The World Already; Above All, That Understanding Between Lovers, Celebrated In Song And Story, Which Is Actually Such Torture That No Two Of Them Can Bear It Without Frequent Separations Or Fights.

I Often Feel That Worse Than The Most Fiendish Nazis Were Those Germans Who Went Along With The Persecution Of The Jews Not Because They Really Disliked Them But Because It Was The Thing.

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