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There Are Many Directors In The Middle Range Who've Made Mostly Successful Pictures, And Then There Are A Few Great Directors Who've Had Some Successes And Some Failures. I Suppose My Life Would Be Smoother If I Wasn't Almost Totally Enamored Of The Latter Category.

-Jack Nicholson

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There Are Many Directors

Jack Nicholson

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There Are Many Directors In The Middle Range Who've Made Mostly Successful Pictures, And Then There Are A Few Great Directors Who've Had Some Successes And Some Failures. I Suppose My Life Would Be Smoother If I Wasn't Almost Totally Enamored Of The Latter Category.

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I'm Certainly Not As Tough As People Think. I'm Not A Fighter And So Forth. I'd Just As Soon Go Home.

Because Of The Way The Business Is Structured, I Have Sometimes Turned Down Scripts That I Might Otherwise Have Accepted Had I Known Who Was Directing Them.

My Whole Career Strategy Has Been To Build A Base So That I Could Take The Roles I Want To Play. I'd Hate To Think That A Shorter Part Might Not Be Available Because I Was Worried About My Billing.

Once I Got Started Acting I Loved It.

Early On, If I Was Alone Two Three Nights In A Row, I'd Start Writing Poems About Suicide.

We Are Going As Fast As We Can As Soon As We Can. We're In A Race Against Time, Until We Run Out Of Money.

Race Against Time

Son, We Live In A World That Has Walls And Those Walls Have To Be Guarded By Men With Guns. Who's Gonna Do It? You!?

Once You've Started A Film You Don't Become A Wet Noodle. You Must Have That Conflictual Interface Because You Don't Know, And They Don't Know. It's Through Conflict That You Come Out With Something That Might Be Different, Better Than Either Of You Thought To Begin With.

It Always Bothered Me When People Came Off Stage And Were Told How Great They Were. They Weren't, Really, In My Opinion. It Was Then I Started Thinking That, Contrary To Conventional Wisdom, Film Was The Artful Medium For The Actor, Not The Stage.

Frankly, I Got Into The Movies Because I Like The Movies A Lot.

The Only Way To Break A Bad Habit Was To Replace It With A Better Habit.

I Mean, It's Real Hard To Be Free When You Are Bought And Sold In The Marketplace.

I Never Thought In Terms Of Typing Myself, Because I Wasn't That Successful. After An Actor Has Done A Few Pieces Of Work, His Naïveté Is The Part Of The Craft He Has To Nurture Most.

It [tv] Is The Cancer Of Film. It's Why People Can't Be Educated To Film. In The Late '60s, We Expected To See A Movie Or Two Every Week And Be Stimulated, Excited And Inspired. And We Did. Every Week After Week. Antonioni, Goddard, Truffaut - This Endless List Of People. And Then Comes Television And Home Video. I Know How To Work Exactly For The Big Screen, But It Doesn't Matter What I Think About The Art Of Movie-making Versus Tv.

I Think Human Beings Have A Basic Instinct To Be Free And Explore Their World In Their Own Way. I've Always Been Driven To Look At Life As Something Which We Should Try To Plunge Into Rather Than Sit Back. You Have To Be Able To Have Fun And Keep Creating A Sense Of Excitement To How You Approach The World.

I Sort Of Understood That When I First Started: That You Shouldn't Repeat A Success. Very Often You're Going To, And Maybe The First Time You Do, It Works. And You Love It. But Then You're Trapped.

Congratulations

I'm Such A Perfectionist. I Always Feel Overpraised Or Whatever. In The Abstract, I Know I'm A Good Person, A Good Professional. But It's Nice To Be Noticed A Little Bit, Ain't It?

I Have Never Lied To You, I Have Always Told You Some Version Of The Truth.

If You're Going To Write, Write One Poem All Your Life, Let Nobody Read It, And Then Burn It. This Is Very Young Thinking, I Confess, But It Is The Seminal Part Of My Life.

I Used To Think That One Of The Great Signs Of Security Was The Ability To Just Walk Away.

I Don't Believe In God Now. I Can Still Work Up An Envy For Someone Who Has A Faith. I Can See How That Could Be A Deeply Soothing Experience.

When We Make Mistakes They Call It Evil. When God Makes Mistakes They Call It Nature!

Making Mistakes

The Blues And Jazz Will Live Forever... So Will The Delta And The Big Easy.

I Don't Remember If I've Been Asked Seriously To Direct A Picture. I Understand That. I'm Very Good Business For People As An Actor And Perhaps They'd Rather I Didn't.

I Think The Greeks Invented Sports As An Antidote To Philosophy. In Sports There Are Absolute Rules. It's Not, What About This? What About That? Either You're Safe Or You're Out. It's Ten Yards Or It's Not. It's In The Hoop Or Out Of The Hoop. It's Certain.

Life Doesn't Have To Be About Finding Osama Bin Laden Or Becoming The President Of The United States. Life Is About The Little Things, Which Is One Of The Things You Learn When You Get Older.

I Don't Think Many People Have A Very Good Understanding Of Leisure And The Importance It Plays In Our Lives.

Played Tennis For Years. But You Can't Improve At Tennis After You're 50. You Get To Be In Your 40s, And Suddenly You're A Doubles Player.

There's Probably No One Who Understands Method Acting Better Academically Than I Do, Or Actually Uses It More In His Work. But It's Funny - Nobody Really Sees That. It's Perception Versus Reality, I Suppose.

I Certainly Knew My Father. He Just Didn't Happen To Be My Biological Father.

Biological Fathers

My Point Of View, While Extremely Cogent, Is Unpopular. . . . That The Repressive Nature Of The Legalities Vis-a-vis Drugs Are Destroying The Legal System And Corrupting The Police System.

I Never Had A Policy About Marriage. I Got Married Very Young In Life And I Always Think In All Relationships, I've Always Thought That It's Counterproductive To Have A Theory On That.

I Resist All Established Beliefs. My Religion Basically Is To Be Immediate, To Live In The Now. It's An Old Cliche, I Know, But It's Mine. I Envy People Of Faith. I'm Incapable Of Believing In Anything Supernatural. So Far, At Least. Not That I Wouldn't Like To. I Mean, I Want To Believe. I Do Pray. I Pray To Something ... Up There. I Have A God Sense. It's Not Religious So Much As Superstitious. It's Part Of Being Human, I Guess ... Do Unto Others: How Much Deeper Into Religion Do We Really Need To Go?

Being Pigeonholed Is The Death Of All Actors.

I Don't Believe That Relationships Are Fixed Things. People Are Necessarily Complex And Confused Beings. We Don't Always Do The Right Thing, Say The Right, And Behave The Same Way Or The Way We Always Want To Behave.

I Mean, It's Real Hard To Be Free When You Are Bought And Sold In The Marketplace. Of Course, Don't Ever Tell Anybody That They're Not Free, 'cause Then They're Gonna Get Real Busy Killin' And Maimin' To Prove To You That They Are. Oh Yeah, They're Gonna Talk To You And Talk To You And Talk To You About Individual Freedom. But They See A Free Individual, It's Gonna Scare 'em.

Well, A Younger Woman Is A Type, But Not Necessarily A Type For Me. And What Is A Younger Woman? I Mean, I'm Pretty Old. Almost Everyone Is Younger.

Well, A Girlfriend Once Told Me Never To Fight With Anybody You Don't Love.

Women Are Sort Of Like Motorcycle Gangs With Me. They Get Really Shy And Polite. I Don't Know Why.

Motorcycle Gangs

I Resist All Established Beliefs. My Religion Basically Is To Be Immediate, To Live In The Now.

Live In The Now

It's A Slight Stretch Of The Imagination But Most People Are Alike In Most Ways So I've Never Had Any Trouble Identifying With The Character That I'm Playing.

[on The Birth Of His Son After Having Had Two Daughters] I Finally Got It Right.

He [castro] Is A Genius. We Spoke About Everything.

I Began To Think That The Finest Modern Writer Was The Screen Actor. This Was In The Spirit Of The Fifties Where A Very Antiliterary Literature Was Emerging - Kenneth Patchen And Others. I Kind Of Believed What Nietzsche Said, That Nothing Not Written In Your Blood Is Worth Reading; It's Just More Pollution Of The Airwaves.

It's Very Easy To Go Down, So Always Live Up. Incline Yourself Upward.

There's Only Two People In Your Life You Should Lie To... The Police And Your Girlfriend.

There's No Point Dwelling On What Might Or Could Have Been. You Just Have To Go Forward.

Sometimes A Bit Of Distance Can Be Very Healthy. You Can Go Away By Yourself On A Trip And Come Back Very Glad To Be With Your Partner Because You've Cleared Your Head Out Of All The Negativity.

I Don't Even Own A Cell Phone.

Human Beings Are Always Going To Find Interesting Ways Of Making A Mess Of Their Lives. It's Human Nature.

I Would Never Complain About My Life, Even Though I Really Would Like To Have A Mate.

My Only Emotion Is Gratitude, Literally, For My Life.

Decent People Shouldn't Live Here. They'd Be Happier Some Place Else.

Just Let The Wardrobe Do The Acting.

I Take Responsibility For My Successes As Well As My Failures. But When I Look At My Professional Mistakes, I'm Always Left With The Feeling That Maybe I Should Have Done More.

Beer, It's The Best Damn Drink In The World.

No Issue Is More Compelling Than The Air We Breathe, Be It Hot Or Cold, Be It Hawk Or Human.

I Feel Very Lucky Because I Don't Think There's Any Part I Can't Play. There Are Parts That Scare Me More Than Others.

For An Actor, Style Comes Last. You First Have To Implement The Whole Thing, But Your Style Comes From The Subconscious, Which Is The Best Part An Actor Brings To His Work.

I'll Tell You One Thing: Don't Ever Give Anybody Your Best Advice, Because They're Not Going To Follow It.

I'm Not A Power Person. I Like Everyone To Be On An Equal Footing.

I Am In An Age Group Where It Is Rude To Discuss Money, And Now It Is All Anyone Cares About.

One Of My School Friends' Parents Owned A Minigolf Course, And A Bunch Of Us Kids Would Play There All Day In The Summer. Two-under Deuces Was A Good Score.

I Want My Kids To Have A Deep, Inner Feeling That It's Alright To Be Happy, That You Don't Have To Be Constantly Manufacturing Problems That You Don't Really Have.

There Are Many Directors In The Middle Range Who've Made Mostly Successful Pictures, And Then There Are A Few Great Directors Who've Had Some Successes And Some Failures. I Suppose My Life Would Be Smoother If I Wasn't Almost Totally Enamored Of The Latter Category.

If You Get An Impulse In A Scene, No Matter How Wrong It Seems, Follow The Impulse. It Might Be Something And If It Ain't - Take Two!

I've Never Lost A Friend Over Work. I Come From A Small-town Environment And I Remember My Childhood Impressions That, If You Were A Conniver Or A Fink Or Whatever, Everybody Knew About It And You Were A Louse For The Rest Of Your Life. So I Never Lost Those Values In Some Way.

Rest Of Your Life

I've Always Had Lots Of Friends Who Share My Perspective - I Guess You Could Say That I'm A Guy Who Aggressively Pursues His Happiness.

Lots Of Friends

When I Come Up Against A Director Who Has A Concept That I Don't Agree With, Or Maybe I Just Haven't Thought Of It Or Whatever, I'd Be More Prone To Go With Them Than My Own Because I Want To Be Out Of Control As An Actor, I Want Them To Have The Control, Otherwise It's Going To Become Predictably My Work, And That's Not Fun.

We Learn How To Kiss, Or To Drink, Talk To Our Buddies-all The Things That You Can't Really Teach In Social Studies Or History-we All Learn Them At The Movies.

Dissembling Is A Common Tool Of The Anger Junkie.

I Am A Person Who Is Trained To Look Other People In The Eye.

I Always Knew There Wasn't Going To Be Anybody To Help Me And Emotionally Support Me, That Whatever I Did I'd Have To Do On My Own.

I Wasn't A Babe In The Woods. I'd Watched A Lot Of Stars, From James Dean To Brando, And I'd Seen Everybody Alive Work At Mgm. I Had A Certain Old-timer's Quality, Even Though I Was Young And New, And Drew On What I Believed Before I Made It.

Kids Are Life's Only Guaranteed, Bona Fide Upside Surprise.

I Am A Person Who Is Trained To Look Other People In The Eye. But I Can't Look Into The Eyes Of Everyone Who Wants To Look Into Mine; I Can't Emotionally Cope With That Kind Of Volume. Sunglasses Are Part Of My Armor.

The Most Difficult Thing About Being Well Known? Getting Out Of A Hotel Room At 4am.

I'm Content With The Fact That I Made A Decent Effort. That's What I've Always Worried About: That I Wouldn't Try Hard Enough.

There Are Short Parts That I As An Actor Am Very Right For. Or I Just Like The Part. Or You Need Someone Like Me For The Movie. By That I Don't Mean At The Box Office, I Mean In The Execution Of The Material.

I Think It's Good If A Man Gives A Woman Some Time To Herself Because I Think We All Need That And We Can All Benefit From That. It Doesn't Imply A Rejection Of The Other Person, Just A Sense That Because We Do Have Our Separate Identities, Sometimes You Have To Be Less Involved In Another Person's Life Or Need To Have That Other Person Be Less Involved In Your Life.

Comedy Is Much Harder, It's A Lot More Exacting. You Can't Just Be Real And You Can't Just Use The Same Kind Of Techniques You Use To Fill Up A Regular Scene.

I Would Never Say, "i'm Retired." I Believe If I Decided To Just Not Work, In Six Months Everybody Would Just Forget Whether You Were Working Or Not.

The Way I Reacted To 9/11 Was I Decided I Didn't Want To Do Any Movies That Are Sad Or Critical. I Decided I Didn't Want To Make My Living Depressing People Or Making Them Go Home Sick, So I Just Decided I Wanted To Do Comedy For A While And Study It For A While. It Doesn't Mean Everybody Should Do That, But That Was My Reaction.

In The Real World There's An After-effect Of Disappointment If You Lose An Argument. But If, To Begin With, You're Set Up Not To Have This Particular Autonomy, Then You're Not Disappointed.

Through All Permutations And Youthful Poetry, I Came To Believe That The Film Actor Was The Great "literateur" Of His Time.

I Think The Greeks Invented Sports As An Antidote To Philosophy.

Take Caution In Your Tone, Commander. I'm A Fair Man, But This -- Heat Is Making Me Absolutely Crazy.

I Did Not Want To Be Coming Off The Stage At The Mercy Of What Somebody Else Told Me I Did.

Now Comes The Part Where I Relieve You, The Little People, Of The Burden Of Your Failed And Useless Lives. But Remember, As My Plastic Surgeon Always Said: If You Gotta Go, Go With A Smile.

In My Last Year Of School, I Was Voted Class Optimist And Class Pessimist. Looking Back, I Realize I Was Only Half Right.

I've Always Fought Against Being Controlled And Manipulated And Stomped Upon By Circumstances.

Once You've Been Really Bad In A Movie, There's A Certain Kind Of Fearlessness You Develop.

I Envy People Of Faith. I'm Incapable Of Believing In Anything Supernatural.

I'd Prefer If People Had No Impressions Of Me. As A Kid, I Had To Tell My Own Family, "please, Just Don't Talk About Me!" Because They Always Got It Wrong. Always. I Just Didn't Want Them To Tell Anyone Anything About Me.

I Don't Have Any Fear Of Intimacy, But Rather Thrive On It, Which Is Rare In A Public Person.

I'm The Age Where We Didn't Have Television As Kids. So When I Saw My Nieces And Nephews Watching Howdy Doody, Kukla, Fran And Ollie, And So Forth, I Thought The World Had Gone Mad.

Have You Ever Danced With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?

You Are More Thoughtful Because You Don't Act As Quickly Anymore. When I Turned 70 It Was The First Time I Felt Young For My Age. Fifty Dropped On Me Like A Ton Of Bricks - There Is Something About That Number - But When 70 Came Along I Felt Good About It.

I Respect The Social Graces Enormously. How To Pass The Food. Don't Yell From One Room To Another. Don't Go Through A Closed Door Without A Knock. Open The Doors For The Ladies. All These Millions Of Simple Household Behaviors Make For A Better Life. We Can't Live In Constant Rebellion Against Our Parents - It's Just Silly. I'm Very Well Mannered. It's Not An Abstract Thing. It's A Shared Language Of Expectations.

Age Is The First Limitation On Roles That I've Ever Had To Encounter, And I Hit That Awhile Ago.

I Believe In Making All Movies At Their Most Reasonable. That I Get A Lot Of Money As An Actor Is Because Nobody Else Will Get It If I Don't.

A Lot Of People In The Middle Of Their Lives Have A Secret Yearning For More Romance.

With Comedy, You Have To Do It Right. In A Drama, There's A Lot Of Different Ways To Succeed In A Moment. But Comedy Comes From Reality. You Can't Try To Be Funny.

It's Difficult For People Sometimes To Recognise When They're Happy. People Sometimes Seem To Me To Be Afraid To Be Happy.

I'm Very Contra My Constituency In Terms Of Abortion Because I'm Positively Against It. I Don't Have The Right To Any Other View. My Only Emotion Is Gratitude, Literally, For My Life.

I'm The Last Guy In The World To Feel Overlooked By The Academy.

There Are Major Influences On Us That People Are Not Aware Of. There Are Big Lies That Nobody's Willing To Discuss.

You Can't Say, "i'm Gonna Make A Hit Movie." You're As Dead As You Could Be.

I Like To Not Care That Much About Criticism, But I Do Care About It.

You're Anachronistic When You Know That Your Feelings Aren't Going To Have Any Effect On Anything.

This Town Needs An Enema!

When They Say I'm A Great Actor, I Close My Ears Because It's Not Good For You To Think That Way.

As An Actor, I Want To Give In To The Collaboration With The Director Because I Don't Want My Work To Be All The Same. The More This Can Be Done With Comfort, The More Variety My Work Has Had.

I Thought Of Myself As Part Of The General Filmmaking Effort. And As My Scope Broadened, I Began To Think About Directing. I Wanted To Be The Guy Who Got To Say Whether The Dress Is Red Or Blue.

I Have Given A Name To My Pain, And It Is Batman.

I Used To Be Very Quick, I Would Be Able To Leave The Room And Be Back Before You Noticed. When You Can't Do That Anymore You Need To Change The Style Of How You Do Things. But I'm Very Interested In Life And You Don't Want To Lose That.

I Just Know That Sameness, Repetition, And Conceptualizing Are The Acting Craft's Adversaries, And It Seems More Intelligent To Start Off Within A Framework Where Those Things Are, To Some Degree, Taken Out Of Your Hands.

Everyone Pretty Much Acknowledges That He's The Man, And I Still Feel That Underrates Him.

Many Actors Will Try Something Different Once, But If It Isn't A Box Office Success They'll Never Do It Again. In My Opinion, There's No Point In Going On With This Job If You Do The Same Thing Over And Over Again.

If You Want Your Freedom, You Have To Be Willing To Work Hard To Exercise It.

I Don't Have Any Plugs Or Tucks But People Do What They Want. I Look At It As Mutilation.

People Who Speak In Metaphors Should Shampoo My Crotch.

I Guess This Proves There Are As Many Nuts In The Academy As Anywhere Else.

I Only Take Viagra When I'm With More Than One Woman.

Believe It Or Not, I Supported Richard Nixon On The Issue Of Presidential Privilege. How Could Anyone Conceive Of Being The President Of The United States And Think That Every Single Thing That You Say Or Do Can Become A Part Of The Public Record? It Just Seems So Stupid To Me.

When You Use A Dialect, You Worry That The People You're Imitating Will Think You're Making Fun Of Them.

It's The Post-literate Generation That Is Most Disturbing To A Movie-maker. The Explosions And The Knifings. People Like To Go To What's Hot And You Can't Get Past A Certain Gross Unless You Involve Children Who Go More Than Once.

I Don't Know If This Is A True Statistic, But I Heard Somewhere That There Are Three Times As Many Single Women Over Forty As Single Men. That's What We Got From The Women's Movement. The Chickens Have Come Home To Roost.

I Love Writing, But I Stopped Because I Felt I Was More Effective Approaching Filmmaking From A Different Vantage Point.

The Camera Photographs What's There.

The First Role I Ever Played I Had The Lead And It's Pretty Much Stayed That Way, Though People Take Great Relish In Calling Me A Character Actor, Which I Am. There Are A Lot Of Short Parts I Could Play, But I Only Do Them When They Are Like This ("a Few Good Men"), Central To The Idea Of The Movie.

I Think Of A Man And I Take Away Reason And Accountability.

Men Dominate Because Of Physicality, And Thus They Have Mercy Where Women Do Not.

I Do Pray. I Pray To Something...up There. I Have A God Sense. It's Not Religious So Much As Superstitious. It's Part Of Being Human, I Guess.

There Were Points In My Life Where I Felt Oddly Irresistible To Women. I'm Not In That State Now And That Makes Me Sad.

I Just Like Art. I Get Pure Pleasure From It. I Have A Lot Of Wonderful Paintings, And Every Time I Look At Them I See Something Different.

Even In The Most Sophisticated Person, It Is The Primitive Eye That Watches The Film.

Acting Is Everybody's Favorite Second Job.

With My Sunglasses On, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without Them, I'm Fat And 60.

I Have Never Felt Brutalized As An Actor. Many Actors Do, Some Times, But I've Never Had That Experience. If I'm Not Happy With The Balance, I Just Won't Work With That Person Again.

We Live, We Die, And The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round.

I'm A Scamp. I Don't Deny It. I Like Myself.

It's Not Like I'm Starved For Company - I Have A Few Very Good Lady Friends - But There's Only A Certain Amount Of Times A Woman Wants To See You And Never Go Out For Dinner.

Charlize Theron And Cate Blanchett Are Very Good Actresses.

Having Kids Is The Most Innately Positive Thing That Anyone Can Do.

For A Long Time, I Was Afraid To Be Alone. I Had To Learn How To Be Alone. And There Are Still Times When I Think, Uh-oh! I Gotta Talk To Somebody Here Or I'm Gonna Go Crazy! But I Like To Be Alone. Now I Do. I Really Do. There's A Big Luxury In Solitude.

I Have Mainly Been Interested In Acting. I Think It's A Great Job, A Fine Way To Live Your Life.

I Love Discourse. I'm Dying To Have My Mind Changed. I'm Probably The Only Liberal Who Read Treason, By Ann Coulter. I Want To Know, You Understand? I Like Listening To Everybody. This To Me Is The Elixir Of Life.

I Hate Giving Advice, Because People Won't Take It.

I Usually Don't Get Too Bogged Down With My Personal Problems Because That's A One-way Street If You Get Yourself Into A Negative Frame Of Mind And Only See The Dark Side Of Life.

I Was Invited To Join The Mgm Cartoon Department. But If I'd Started Work In Animation I'd Have Had To Take A Cut In Salary, So I Didn't.

I Come From The Lynchs Of Sligo. You Know, I Went There, But I Looked In The Phone Book And There Are Nine Million Lynches In Sligo.

When You Look At Life Retrospectively You Rarely Regret Anything That You Did, But You Might Regret Things That You Didn't Do.

There's A Tacit Agreement Today That The White Male Is The Only Legitimate Target For Any And All Satire, Criticism, And So Forth. And We Pretty Much Just Accept It.

I Have A Lot Of Vanity.

I Know I Can Act. There Aren't Too Many Other Jobs I Know How To Do

Comedy Is More Difficult. You Can Look At Scenes When You're Doing A Drama Like, maybe It Works, But In Comedy, When You're Doing It, Either It Works Or It Doesn't. You Have To Keep Doing It Until It Does, And The Requirement Is More.

You Know, I Think I Understand What You're Like Now. You're Very Beautiful And You Think Men Are Only Interested In You Because You're Beautiful. But You Want Them To Be Interested In You Because You're You. The Problem Is, Aside From All That Beauty, You're Not Very Interesting. You're Rude, You're Hostile, You're Sullen, You're Withdrawn... Oh, I Know- You Want Someone To Look Past All That At The Real Person Underneath. But The Only Reason Anyone Would Bother To Look Past All That Is Because You're Beautful. Ironic, Isn't It? In An Odd Way You're Your Own Problem.

I'm Irish. I Think About Death All The Time.

Ireland And The Irish

I Know I Can Act. There Aren't Too Many Other Jobs I Know How To Do. Financially, I've Lost Money And Made Money, But I Know My Way Around Financially. I've Been Too Many Places. I'm Like The Bad Penny.

If I Were An Arab-american, I Would Insist On Being Profiled. This Is Not The Time For Civil Rights. There Are Larger Issues For Americans.

In This Industry, There Are Only Two Ways Up The Ladder. Rung By Rung Or Claw Your Way To The Top. It's Sure Been Tough On My Nails.

There Was A Period When I Just Wanted To Make What I Wanted To Make And I Didn't Care What Lie I Had To Tell.

I Have To Keep Myself In Check When I Go To The Kids' Sports Events. I Sit Waaay In The Back. I Make Sure I Don't Do Too Much Cheering, You Know What I Mean? I'm Still Not Quite Adjusted To This Modern School Of Thought: Oh, It Doesn't Matter Who Wins. I'm Not All The Way There Yet, But I Accept It From The Back Row.

Time Keeps No Measure When True Friends Are Parted, No Record Day By Day; The Sands Move Not For Those Who, Loyal-hearted, Friendship's Firm Laws Obey.

When I Was In High School, I Earned The Pimple Award And Every Other Gross-out Award.

Always Try In Interviews To Avoid The Cliches About The Problems Of Public Life.

Just Because You're Perfectionist Doesn't Mean You're Perfect.

Million Bucks Won't See You Through A Major Health Crisis.

You Make Me Want To Be A Better Man.

I Don't Want To Direct A Movie As Good As Antonioni, Or Kubrick, Or Polanski, Or Whoever. I Want It To Be My Own. I Think I've Got The Seed Of It And, What's More, That I Can Make Movies That Are Different And Informed By My Taste.

I Goddamn Near Lost My Nose. And I Like It. I Like Breathing Through It.

Hiding Something

You Can't Handle The Truth!

A Lot Of People Manage To Find Common Ground And Not Let Disagreements Or Tensions Build Up And Destroy Them, And Other People Break Up Or Get Divorced. I Don't Think Anything Is Ever Going To Change That Situation. You Simply Try To Find An Accommodation And An Understanding With Another Person And Work From There.

I Don't Want People To Know What I'm Actually Like. It's Not Good For An Actor.

There Is No Way You Can Get People To Believe You On Screen If They Know Who You Really Are Through Television.

I Was Particularly Proud Of My Performance As The Joker. I Considered It A Piece Of Pop Art.

Do You Think God Knew What He Was Doing When He Created Woman?

Liberalism Is The Right To Question Without Being Called A Heretic. That's What America Did For The World.

I'm Fairly Well Off. I Can't Poor-mouth That Away From People's Sensibilities About Me, Which Is Something I Worry About As An Actor. But It Would Be Real Stupid Of Me To Do Something For The Money.

The Minute That You're Not Learning I Believe You're Dead.

I Suppose I Can Do More For A Script As An Actor Than As A Writer - In The Film Sense.

I'm Against Cronyism, And I Had To Learn That Early On. Like, I Don't Have An Entourage, Because I Saw The Negative Effects Of Those Things.

Everybody's Old Enough For A Beer, Ain't That Right, Mule?

What's Beautiful Is All That Counts, Pal. That's All That Counts.

I'm A New Wave Baby, So I Got Very Stimulated By Foreign Film.

I Assume Most Of The Characters I Play Are Exactly Like Me.

I Learned A Long Time Ago In Hollywood That The Only Person I Should Vote For Is Myself.

And This, Incidentally, Is My Thumbnail Sketch Of American Marriage: A Woman Sees A Man; She Likes Him. Now She Jumps On This Thing And Rides It To Some Kind Of Standstill. Then She Changes It And Trains It, And To The Exact Degree That She's Able To Do This, She Disrespects Him.

When I Am Cast In A Movie Where I Feel That The Woman's Part Is More Interesting, I Usually Start Thinking About Spencer Tracy And Fred Astaire. They Seem To Be The Most Clear Actors When Working With Women.

I'd Give My Goddamned Soul For Just A Glass Of Beer.

I'm In The Movie Business; It's Meant To Be Very Cutthroat. But You Won't Find Anybody That Ever Says I Cheated Them Or Manipulated Them.

I Can't Hit On Women In Public Any More. I Didn't Decide This; It Just Doesn't Feel Right At My Age.

Financially, I've Lost Money And Made Money, But I Know My Way Around Financially.

You Can Call Me Joker. And As You Can See, I'm A Lot Happier.

If It Is Difficult To Know Yourself As An Individual, It Seems To Be More Complex As A Couple. So If You Say, "oh I Like A Person Who Is Like This And That," You Might Take Away The Possibility Of Seeing The Only One That Might Be Right For You.

A Man Needs A Private Life. With No Ability To Have A Private Life, One Thing Leads To Another, And Before You Know It We Have Bill And Monica. We Need To Get Real About Things. Humans Are Humans. Why Should We Expect More?

If I Go Into A Restaurant There's A Very Good Chance That I'm Going To Spend My Time Being The Mayor. If I Want To Have A Good Time, I'm Happier Having Dinner Here.

The Fuel For The Sports Fan Is The Ability To Have Private Theories.

I Think That's What Distinguishes Schmidt, Really. In The Movies Now, So Much Of What Is Appealing To An Audience Is The Dramatic Or Has To Do With Science Fiction, And Schmidt Is Simply Human. There's No Melodrama; There's No Device, It's Just About A Human Being.

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