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There Are All These New Books Out There Portraying Asian Mothers As Scheming, Callous, Overdriven People Indifferent To Their Kids' True Interests. For Their Part, Many Chinese Secretly Believe That They Care More About Their Children And Are Willing To Sacrifice Much More For Them Than Westerners, Who Seem Perfectly Content To Let Their Children Turn Out Badly. I Think It's A Misunderstanding On Both Sides. All Decent Parents Want To Do What's Best For Their Children. The Chinese Just Have A Totally Different Idea Of How To Do That.

-Amy Chua

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There Are All These

Amy Chua

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There Are All These New Books Out There Portraying Asian Mothers As Scheming, Callous, Overdriven People Indifferent To Their Kids' True Interests. For Their Part, Many Chinese Secretly Believe That They Care More About Their Children And Are Willing To Sacrifice Much More For Them Than Westerners, Who Seem Perfectly Content To Let Their Children Turn Out Badly. I Think It's A Misunderstanding On Both Sides. All Decent Parents Want To Do What's Best For Their Children. The Chinese Just Have A Totally Different Idea Of How To Do That.

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Some Parents Let Their Kids Sleep At Other People's Houses, Where They Drink Alcohol, Watch Tv For Hours And God Knows What Else. But If You Say You Have To Get All A's And Practice The Violin For Two Hours, Then They Consider That Abusive. That Upsets Me.

I'm Suggesting That, Ironically, The Secret To Becoming A World 'hyperpower' Is Tolerance. If You Look At History, You See Great Powers Being Very Tolerant In Their Rise To Global Dominance.

The Chinese Model Calls For Giving Your Kids Very Little Choice - And I've Come To See That You Can Go Too Far With That. On The Other Hand, I Also Believe That Western Parents Sometimes Give Their Young Kids Too Much Choice.

Genghis Khan Decreed Religious Tolerance For All Of His Conquered Peoples. So I Think He Definitely Would Approve Of Our Constitutional Protections Of Freedom Of Religion. I Think He Would Also Approve Of The Way The U.s. Has Been Able To Attract Talented People From All Over The World.

I'm A Proud Strict Mom And, You Know, I'm Really Proud Of The Two Daughters I've Raised. And I'm Especially Proud Of My Relationship With Them. We're Very Close. I Think We're Good Friends.

You Know, Parenting Is So Personal. And We're All Afraid That We Didn't Quite Get It Right. And It Feels Like The Stakes Are So High. By We - What If We Made A Mistake?

Western Parents Try To Respect Their Children’s Individuality, Encouraging Them To Pursue Their True Passions, Supporting Their Choices, And Providing Positive Reinforcement And A Nurturing Environment. By Contrast, The Chinese Believe That The Best Way To Protect Their Children Is By Preparing Them For The Future, Letting Them See What They’re Capable Of, And Arming Them With Skills, Work Habits, And Inner Confidence That No One Can Ever Take Away.

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You Can't Invent Google, Facebook Or The Ipod Unless You've Mastered The Basics, Are Willing To Put In Long Hours And Can Pick Yourself Up From The Floor When Life Knocks You Down The First 10 Times.

Life Knocks You Down

All Decent Parents Want To Do What's Best For Their Children. The Chinese Just Have A Totally Different Idea Of How To Do That.

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A Western Upbringing Tends To Stress Questioning Authority, Which Is Always Asking Why, Why, Why.

I Think The Biggest Difference Is That I've Noticed Western Parents Seem Much More Concerned About Their Children's Psyches, Their Self-esteem, Whereas Tough Immigrant Parents Assume Strength Rather Than Fragility In Their Children And Therefore Behave Completely Differently.

When I'm Not The Tiger Mom, I'm A Professor At Yale Law School, And If One Thing Is Clear To Me From Years Of Teaching, It's That There Are Many Ways To Produce Fabulous Kids. I Have Amazing Students; Some Of Them Have Strict Parents, Others Have Lenient Parents, And Many Come From Family Situations That Defy Easy Description.

My Dogs Can't Do Anything--and What A Relief. I Don't Make Any Demands Of Them, And I Don't Try To Shape Them Or Their Future. For The Most Part, I Trust Them To Make The Right Choices For Themselves. I Always Look Forward To Seeing Them, And I Love Just Watching Them Sleep. What A Great Relationship.

I Say 'i Love You' To My Daughters Every Day.

I See My Upbringing As A Great Success Story. By Disciplining Me, My Parents Inculcated Self-discipline. And By Restricting My Choices As A Child, They Gave Me So Many Choices In My Life As An Adult. Because Of What They Did Then, I Get To Do The Work I Love Now.

China Is Doing Lots Of Things Right. It's Investing In Education And R&d, It's Opening Up, It's More Cosmopolitan Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's Very Likely That China Will Continue To Explode Economically And Certainly Become A Superpower.

I Worry That By Losing My Temper So Much And Being So Harsh And Yelling So Much That, By Example, I Will Have Taught My Daughters To Be That Way, And I'm Now Constantly Telling Them Not To Do That.

I'm A Slave To My Dogs And Go Out With Them Almost Every Day. They Are Poorly Behaved If They Don't Run. They Really Act Up.

Tenacious Practice, Practice, Practice Is Crucial For Excellence; Rote Repetition Is Underrated In America.

I Kind Of - I Like My Life, I Feel I Have Lots Of Opportunities. And My Parents Actually Having Had Such High Expectations For Me - I Would Say It's The Greatest Gift That Anyone Has Ever Given Me. I Complained A Lot When I Was Little, But That's How I Feel Now. And That's Why I Tried To Do The Same With My Two Daughters.

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I Am Definitely A Type A Personality, Always Rushing Around, Trying To Do Too Much, Not Good At Just Lying On The Beach. But I'm So Thankful For Everything I Have: Wonderfully Supportive Parents And Sisters, The Best Husband In The World, Terrific Students I Love Teaching And Hanging Out With, And Above All, My Two Amazing Daughters.

I Do Believe That When Your Child Does Poorly On A Test, Your First Step Should Not Necessarily Be To Attack The Teacher Or The School's Curriculum. It Should Be To Look At The Idea That, Maybe, The Child Didn't Work Hard Enough.

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I Once Won A Second Prize In A History Concert. My Parents Came To The Ceremony. Somebody Else Had Won The Prize For Best All-around Student. Afterwards My Father Said To Me, 'never, Ever Disgrace Me Like That Again.' When I Tell My Western Friends, They Are Aghast. But I Adore My Father. It Didn't Knock My Self-esteem At All.

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What Chinese Parents Understand Is That Nothing Is Fun Until You're Good At It. Pg 29

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Can Do Something

There Are All Kinds Of Psychological Disorders In The West That Don't Exist In Asia.

Psychological Disorders

I Think If You're A 'tiger Parent' Early On, You Don't Need To Be A 'helicopter Parent' In High School.

Chinese Parents Believe That Their Kids Owe Them Everything.

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