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The Racehorses Assemble At The Starting Barrier In All The Finery Of A Mediaeval Pageant, The Jockeys In Silks Like Figures From A Tarot Pack, The Bookies In Leather And Tweeds Standing Beside Their Boards Each Confident That The Future Has Been Controlled.

-Kevin Hart

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The Racehorses Assemble At

Kevin Hart

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The Racehorses Assemble At The Starting Barrier In All The Finery Of A Mediaeval Pageant, The Jockeys In Silks Like Figures From A Tarot Pack, The Bookies In Leather And Tweeds Standing Beside Their Boards Each Confident That The Future Has Been Controlled.

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I Get That Racism Exists, But It's Not A Catalyst For My Content. I Don't Need To Talk About Race To Have Material. My Style Of Comedy Is More Self-deprecating. I Think That Makes Me More Relatable. When You Deal With 'topics' - Race, White Versus Black - You're Not Separating From The Pack. You're Doing What Everybody Else Is Doing.

I Wanna Produce, Write, And Direct My Own Projects, And Eventually Fund Them. I Wanna Be A Mogul.

My Goal Is To Make Everyone And Anyone A Fan.

Before I Look Stupid And Not Know What A Word Means Or How To Pronounce It, I'll Stop The Whole Production, "hey, Real Quick, Guys. Define This Word For Me. Somebody."

Take Me And My Role Seriously. Take My Talent Seriously.

Everybody That's Successful Lays A Blueprint Out.

I Know How I Get Hard. Running On A Treadmill Behind Women In A Gym Normally Does It For Me.

I Don't Look At Obstacles As Obstacles. I Look At Them As Things That Were Put There For A Reason. You Can Approach These Things Negatively Or Positively. I Think Those That Approach It With A Negative Mindset Only Get A Negative Outcome.

The Racehorses Assemble At The Starting Barrier In All The Finery Of A Mediaeval Pageant, The Jockeys In Silks Like Figures From A Tarot Pack, The Bookies In Leather And Tweeds Standing Beside Their Boards Each Confident That The Future Has Been Controlled.

I'm A Buffalo Wing Magnet, A Sandwich Fanatic, A Cheesesteak Guy. But I'll Only Get A Cheesesteak In Philadelphia. No One Else Does It Right.

You Get One Life. I'm Going To Embrace Mine.

I'm Never Gonna Step Away From Stand-up. I Can't. That's What Got Me Where I Am, And That's Also My Muse. That's How I Stay Level-headed. That's What Keeps Me Going.

You Don't Have To Treat People Differently. You May Be Living A Different Lifestyle, But The Person Living That Different Lifestyle Still Can Relate To Anybody And Have The Same Amazing Personality Of The Guy From North Philly.

In My Divorce, I Stood Up And Said To My Ex-wife, 'hey, I Messed Up. This Had Nothing To Do With You. I Didn't Understand What Marriage Was. I Cheated. I Was Wrong. We Couldn't Fix It; It Got Worse. I Stepped Away Because I Didn't Want It To Get Any Worse. You're The Mother Of My Kids - I Don't Want To Hate You.'

I Don't Think You Get Successful To Brag And Throw What You Have In The World's Face. That's All Private.

The Thing About Impressing Your Girlfriend Is That When You Do Something Like A Private Island In Fiji, It's All Downhill From That Point.

I'm Good Friends With Jay Leno, Good Friends With Ed O'neill, Melanie Fiona And Russell Simmons.

My Twitter Reflects What's Going On With Me In My Life.

The Most Important Thing For A Director Is Being Able To Communicate. When You Communicate Comfortably, Regardless Of What You're Saying, It Can Always Be Processed.

My Dad Was Never Married. He Was Kind Of A Rolling Stone. But He Was Never Disrespectful. At The Same Time, Even Though He Had Women In His Life When I Was A Kid, There Wasn't Any Consistency.

Because Of What I Do, It Has To Be An Open Book, But Right Now This Is A Book That Is Being Written.

The Kind Of Love That God Has For Us, I Think, Is Of An Infinite Longing For Union, And The Kind Of Love That God Wants Us To Have For Him, I Think, Is Of This Also Endless Longing. Now In Eros We Lose Ourselves. I Think Erotic Love Transforms Us, But It Does So Only Momentarily. It Has To Be Embedded In Something Much Longer, A Much Bigger Narrative Called Marriage Or Durable Relationship Or Something Like That.

When You're In These Movie Deals And The Studios Are Talking, They're Putting Business Deals And Packages Together, But They're Making Calls Based On Previous Relationships. They Go, "oh, Let's Call This Actor Because We Did This With Him, And He Might Like Him. Does He Like Him? Let's Piece Them Together." There's A Brain Behind That Puzzle, And I Want To Be The Brain.

Comedy Central Was A Great Network, But 'chappelle's Show' Took It To A Completely Different Level. Other Shows Got Bigger Because So Many Viewers Were Watching The 'chappelle' Reruns. For Bet, The 'real Husbands Of Hollywood' Has That Same Potential.

If You Look At Me In 'ride Along,' Even Though I'm Playing Two Different Characters, My Demeanor And My Tone Were Not Aggressive.

All Men Hate The Nagging.

I Stayed True To My Dreams And, Eventually, They Came True.

I Had A Great Time Being A Salesman Because Of The Pitches That I Gave When I Was Selling Shoes. However, I Don't Think I'm As Well Versed In Shoes As I Am In Comedy. Being A Salesman Was All About Being A People Person, And I Enjoy Being Around People. I Also Love Talking To People - Which Is Why I Think I Did So Well.

I Go Onstage And I Talk, And I Remember What I'm Saying, And I Track It.

I Promise You, I Will Have Something On The Internet That Is Game-changing. I Can't Lose.

There's So Much You Can Achieve With A Launching Pad Like Stand-up Comedy. You Can Literally Go From Acting To Hosting To Being A Personality.

I Am An Angel. I Was Sent Here From God To Heal.

On 'think Like A Man,' They Got The Best Out Of Me Because They Allowed Me To Bring My Own Cadences And Opinions To The Character That I Was Playing. I Think We Got The Best Of That Particular Character.

If You Want To Appeal To Everyone, You Can't Do A World Tour And Expect Black People To Show Up At Every Date - When You're In Australia, When You're In Dubai, When You're In Indonesia.

Everybody Wants To Be Famous, But Nobody Wants To Put The Work In!!

Hardwork And Determination

No Matter What, People Grow. If You Chose Not To Grow, You're Staying In A Small Box With A Small Mindset. People Who Win Go Outside Of That Box. It's Very Simple When You Look At It.

Ever Argue With A Female And, In The Middle Of The Argument, You No Longer Feel Safe Because Of Her Actions? She May Start Pacing Back And Forth Real Fast, Breathing Out Her Nose. You Know What My Girl Do? When She Get Mad, She Start Talking In The Third Person. That's Scary As Hell Because That's Her Way Of Telling Me That From This Point On, She Is Not Responsible For None Of Her Actions.

The Worst Thing About Being Lied To, Is Realizing They Don't Think You're Worth The Truth.

'best Man Holiday' Was A Very Successful Film.

You've Got To Put Yourself In Positions To Take Away What Can Be Said.

I Performed In A Bowling Alley Before While People Were Still Bowling. Cut The Check, And I Will Perform Anywhere.

I've Done Auditions Where The Casting Director Is Taking The Paper Out Of My Hand In The Middle Of Reading.

Almost Anything Can Be Funny If Said The Right Way - But It Has To Be Said The Right Way.

I Shouldn't Have To Ask For Your Permission For Me To Put You In My Lie!

Sometimes When You Hear So Much And Everybody Is Praising You, You Can Get Lost In That. You Can Start Thinking That You Are On A Higher Pedestal Than Everyone Else. So I Try To Stay Level Headed, Humble And The Best Way To Do That Is To Not Really Acknowledge It That Much. I Just Keep Grinding And Working As Hard As I Can. I Also Set My Goals Higher So That I Don't Have Time To Be Content With My Place In Life And In My Career.

Stand-up Comedy Is Mine: It's My Entity; It's My Brand; I Own It. I Do It When I Want To Do It.

People Don't Want Drama 365 Days A Year. I'm A Sense Of Relief; It's My Job To Take Your Mind Off What's Bad For That Brief Second You're In The Room With Me, Regardless Of Shape, Race, Colour Or Anything. It Brings People Together, And It Makes Me Feel Good About What I'm Doing.

My Rule Is To Save Myself First.

The Second Time Around I'll Understand That, As A Husband, My Wife Doesn't Care About My Opinions. I Just Need To Tell Her The Things That Will Continue To Help Me Stack The Brownie Points.

I Don't Care How Busy I Am - I Will Always Make Time For What's Most Important To Me.

I Didn't Want To Lift Weights And Get All Big; I Just Wanted To Get Cut.

My Baby Is Weird Man... When He Get Mad, He Gets In The Oven.

I Ain't Never Called Nobody No Redskin. I've Never Been Mad, Like, 'get Out Of This Restaurant, You Redskin.'

We Don't Always Possess Faith In The Sense Of Having A Clear Embodiment Of Something To Hang On To. The Relationship Between The Intellect And Faith Is A Very Curious One. Sometimes The Intellect Can Point Us To Faith, Sometimes The Intellect Can Stand In The Way Of Faith. Sometimes, As St John Of The Cross Points Out, We Have To Darken Or Blind The Intellect In Order To Have Faith.

Believe It Or Not, I Make Myself Laugh. Sometimes When I Have Thoughts Or Say Some Things That Are Funny, It Just Makes Me Laugh, And I Don't Mind Laughing At It Before You Guys Do.

I Am In Control Of My Career, And That's What So Many Actors Don't Take Advantage Of. You Get To These Successful Points, And You Continue To Just Work For Other People. But, When You're Your Own Brand And You're Your Own Boss, The Whole Line Of Work Changes. That's My Biggest Turn On.

Because I'm Small, I've Been Called Things From 'happy Feet' To 'little Face.'

I Am Who I Am Today Because Of My Mother.

People May Hate You For Being Different And Not Living By Society's Standards,but Deep Down,they Wish They Had The Courage To Do The Same.

Being Different

My Lady Makes Me Do It. I Sang Whitney Houston's "bodyguard".

As Soon As We Try To Write The Simplest Sentence About God, We Find Ourselves In Anxious Perplexities, But When We Stop Trying To Write About God And Talk With God, God Is There And We Can Talk With God.

My Goals Are So High.

Back In My Heyday, When I Was Out On The Streets - I'm Engaged Now, About To Get Married - But Before That I Was Quite The Sex Symbol. My Line Was, "if I Was Taller, Would I Have A Chance?".

I Don't Have To Change Anything. I Think That's The Secret To Comedy. You Want To Be Universal And Appeal To Everyone.

Just Because Your Environment Or Living Space Changes Doesn't Mean That Your Attitude Necessarily Has To Change.

I Don't Like To Hear Woman Argue...it Makes My Balls Itch.

Some People Love So Hard That They Can't Control Those Emotions When They're At Their Deepest Point.

I Got A Dog With A Napoleon Complex. I Have A Napoleon Complex. We're Small. Anything Big That We Feel Is Threatening Us, We Want To Fight. We're Not A Pushover.

So Unless We Form Some Kind Of Adequate Relationship To Death, We're Never Going To Live Properly, And If We Think Of It Purely As A Medical Thing, We Have Reduced Life. We Should Think Of It As Some Sort Of Mystery Which We Can Participate In Now, Not Something To Be Pushed Off To One Side Till The Last Moments.

My Main Goal Is To Be A Self-made Man And Have Control Over What's Mine.

People See Me On The Street, And They Point To Me, And They're Like, 'hey! All Right, All Right, All Right!'

My Drive Is Other People's Success.

I Took My Daughter To The Father-daughter Dance And I Cried Like A Little Baby. She's 11 Years Old, So Seeing Her Get Dressed Up And Pretty Made Me Cry.

I Think Sometimes Celebrities Get So Big, They're Not Reachable.

I Would Spend Absolutely Every Last Minute With My Kids, Telling Them How Much I Love Them And How Much I Would Do For Them.

I Just Don't Believe People Can Tame Animals.

The Sound Of The Headboard, That's Motivation.

I Don't Think Comedy Will Ever Die.

I Was Always Big On Laughs, Giving And Receiving. It Wasn't Necessarily Good For My Teachers. Of Course There's Times Where You Go Too Far. My Mom Had To Tell Me, "boy, If I Have To Come Down To This School One More Time, You're Gonna Get It."

I Love Being On Stage, I Love Being Able To Tell A Story, I Love The Fact That The Audience Listens And Laughs At It. It Makes Me Happy, And It's What I Live For.

At The End Of The Day, I Want To Be Part Of The Same Conversation As Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Bill Cosby And Richard Pryor.

The End Of The Day

Dialogue Means Debates And Everyone's Point Of View.

Did I Try To Embarrass Other People? Now If It's About Other People, Guilty Guilty Guilty Guilty.

Catholicism Is The Big House Of Christianity. It's Got Many, Many Rooms In It. And I've Always Been Attracted To The Rooms Which Are To Do With Prayer. The Mystical Strain Is The Strain Whereby The Whole Day Can Be Given Over To Prayer Through What We Call Lectio Divina, Prayerful Reading Of Scripture, Through Practice Of Meditation Of When One Uses The Imagination And The Intellect With Respect To Images, And Then Finally, And Most Difficult Of All, Contemplation, Where One Empties The Mind Of All Images And All Ideas, All Concepts, In Order To Be Completely Attentive To God.

Any Hand That I’ve Shaken, Any Person That I Met When I Was Joe Blow, Now That I’m This Guy Kevin Hart, Has Come Back. That’s Why I Treat Everybody With Respect. I’m Always A Nice Pleasant Guy To Meet Because When They Come Back To You, They Remember.

Divine Love, Agape, Is Self-sacrificing Love, Which Sounds Difficult, As It Is, And Not Very Attractive. If The Best Image We Have Of Love Is Of A Man Who's Been Tortured And Hung Upon A Cross To Die An Excruciating Death, This Is Something That Human Beings Find Very, Very Hard To Understand As Love. But It Is The Highest Christian Image Of Love.

At The End Of The Day, Women Are A Distraction. Whether You Realize It Or Not.

The End Of The Day

I Had One Incident Where My Daughter Said That A Girl Asked If She Was A Brown Person. I Said, 'we're Black. You Have Black People, White People, Chinese People, Hispanic People; We're All Brought Up Differently.'

I Think Death Is Not Simply The Last Few Moments Of Life, Death Is Something That Runs Throughout The Whole Of Life. Each Of Our Moments Is Not Only The Possibility Of Affirmation, But It's Also We're Saying Farewell At Each Moment To Something.

My Daughter Has Impressions That She Does Of Me.

I Love Soft-cotton White T-shirts.

My Mum Passing Away Wasn't Funny, But That Funeral And What I Went Through, The Things That Happened, Looking Back At It, There Were Funny Moments. You Have To Be Strong Enough To Look Back At It, To Sit And Assess The Situation.

I Love To Pop Up At The Movie Theaters. I Love To Treat The People Who Are There.

I Think What Happens In A Religious Life Is That We Have Those Experiences Of Affirmation And That One Starts To Live A Christian Life Or A Jewish Life Or A Muslim Life Or A Buddhist Life, By Affirming That Affirmation Each Day. Each Day You Say 'yes' To That Yes. So The Life Of Being A Christian For Example, Is Always A Life Of Double Affirmation, That You Each Day Say 'yes' To Those Counter-experiences Of Saying 'yes', Even When You're Not Experiencing Them At That Time, You're Remaining Loyal To That Experience.

If You're My Bestfriend I Shouldn't Have To Ask You To Lie For Me.

I Learned From The Guys Before Me - Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Just To Name A Few. These Are Guys That Let It All Hang Out. What They Lived Is What They Took To The Stage.

You Do Projects With The Hope They Will Be Big And Hope They Will Go Beyond What You Imagine.

People Want To Act Like They Know Celebrities. They Want To See Pictures. They Want To Know Where You're Going. They Want To Hear You Talk About Your Family.

All I Can Do Is Try To Create My Own Brand And Have People Appreciate Me For That.

I Make A Lot Of Expressions Constantly. I'm Animated.

Every Relationship Should Eventually Become A Long-term Relationship. Any Director That I Meet Now Isn't Just A Director. He's Potentially A Friend, And Someone I Can Call To Do A Project That I Want Or That I Have. That's What I Mean When I Say Branding And Developing Yourself, As A Business.

Hartbeat Productions Is A Company Established By Me; It's Mine. I Run It. I Have Employees.

Really, I Don't Like Roller Coasters.

In Acting, You Have To Pull From Real-life Situations, From People, To Help Develop A Character.

The Movies And All That Stuff Are Great, But The Fact That I'm In A Position To Do What I Want To Do, However I Want To Do It And When I Want To Do It Is Bigger.

At The End Of The Day, Your Fans Are The People Who Support You In And Out. And Their Opinions Matter.

The End Of The Day

I Think If Someone Gets Kicked In The Face It Is Their Fault- They Watched The Foot Come Towards Their Face.

I Don't Write Material. Funny Things Happen To Me In The Course Of A Day, And I Just Make Notes.

I'm Trying To Do What Eddie Murphy Did For His Generation. You Have To Show People, 'i'm Different. I'm Not Just A Comedian.' I'm Trying To Become A Rock Star.

It All Depends On What You're Willing To Invest Time And Effort In And Put Your Mind To. That's What Separates Winners From Losers. Winners Are The Ones Who Want The Most Out Of Their Opportunities.

You've Gotta Understand That With Branding And The Way Things Are Promoted, In Our Day And Age, Your Older Movie Stars Are Not Reachable Or Accessible Because They're Not A Part Of The Whole Social Media World.

My Business Acumen Is Definitely Growing.

I'm A Whopping 5 Foot 4 Inches Tall. I'm Not Going To Get Any Taller.

You Can Do The Same Thing With $20 Million That You Would Do With $50 Million. So At A Certain Point In Your Life And In Your Career, You Realise That It's Not About The Money.

I Feel Like I Have A Job To Do, Like I Constantly Have To Reinvent Myself. The More I Up The Ante For Myself, The Better It Is In The Long Run. I Try To Interact With My Fans As Much As Possible. It's Good That The Person I'm Being Onstage Isn't Really An Act. It's Really Me.

I'm Not A Good Storm-outer... Because I Forget Stuff.

For Me, The Way I Stay Consistent Is Through Stand-up Comedy.

The Kind Of Poetry I Write, Lyric Poetry, I Think Is Really Concerned With Intimacy, With Mystery. That Needn't Be Religious Mystery, There Are Mysteries To Do With Everyday Life.

I Love That I Can Tell The Truth And Have People Laugh At It.

Telling The Truth

My Experiences In Life Are Getting Bigger And Better. The More Stuff I Do, The More Stuff I Talk About - Having Kids, Traveling, Going Through Relationship Problems, Dealing With Things In My Own Family. All That Stuff Builds Character.

Bigger And Better

I Think Women Go Crazy For A Reason. It's Not Like It Just Happens.

My Goals Are So High That I Don't Have Time To Relax, In Any Way Shape Or Form.

Some Sarcasm Is Best Told Simply.

The Relationship We Have With God Is Not The Same Over A Life; Sometimes, As With Human Relationships, It Goes Through Bad Patches And Sometimes It Becomes Very Intense. It Is A Terrifying Thing To Have A Relationship With One's Creator, To Spend One's Life So That One Is Trying To Converge With One's Creator Seems An Extraordinarily Difficult And Sublime Thing. But At The Same Time It's Extremely Simple. One Of The Things Which Perpetually Amazes Me Is That At Any Moment Or Any Day, Anyone Who Is Alive Can Talk With The Creator Of The Cosmos.

Having Other Comedians Complimenting My Work Is The Biggest Accolade That I Can Get.

I Never Thought In A Million Years That I'd Ever Sell Out Back-to-back Shows At The Garden. That's Not To Say, I Never Expected My Career To Take Off. Still, It Was A "pinch Me, Wake Me Up" Moment. I Was Like, "wow! I Can't Believe This. That I'm Actually Here, And This Is Actually Happening." And In That Moment, When I Was About To Thank My Fans For Supporting Me, I Noticed That They Were Standing Up Clapping. It Was Overwhelming, And Became A Very Emotional Moment When I Tried To Thank Them.

What Women Need To Understand Is That Men Don't Communicate. It's Not Intentional Or On Purpose. We're Just Not As Emotional. You Ladies Feel Like You Have To Express Yourselves.

Often Poetry, Especially The Sort Of Poetry I Write, Is Concerned With Looking At The Borders Between The Sensual And The Spiritual And Seeing Them As Divided, Equivocal, That Mystery Somehow Can Break In To The Ordinary. And We Read Poetry I Think In Part, To Gain A Sense Of That Intimacy With Things That We Can't Understand That Are Unable To Be Understood But That Buoy Up Our Lives.

I Have Good Laugh Every Day. I Enjoy Life. I'm Surrounded By Love And Positivity.

It's Very Rare That You Get A Director That Lets You Be Creative And Bring What You Feel Your Character Should Do Or Should Be.

I Want To Reach The Status Of Becoming A Mogul. And The Only Way You Get There Is By Work.

I Like Playing Basketball And Going To The Gym. I Don't Box, But I'll Ride My Bike And Go Jogging Or Running In The Park. Sometimes My Lady And I Go Hiking.

I'm Not A Big Politics Guy.

I'm Pretty Much An Open Book. I've Pretty Much Talked About Anything I'm Going Through Onstage. Between Interviews And Curious Fans, I've Been Asked Everything. And I Always Give Answers. I Don't Shy Away From Anything.

The Same Thing I Did In 2013 Is What I'm Trying To Do In 2014, Which Is Continue To Improve, Continue To Shock People. You Know, I Have Several Projects Coming Up Between 2014 And 2015, And Hopefully By 2015, I'll Have Another Hour Of Stand-up Material Where I'll Be Able To Go On The Road And Tour Again.

The People Around Me Haven't Changed. The People Who Have Been In My Life Since The Beginning Are Still In My Life Now. I Think That Has A Lot To Do With My Staying Grounded And Humble Despite The Success I've Achieved.

I Don't Use Twitter For Bad.

The Most Exciting Thing In The World To Me Is That I'm Doing What I Love To Do, And That I'm Successful Doing It. Pursuing My Dream And Executing It Is Exciting To Me.

The Two Things In The World We All Share In This World Are Laughter And Pain. We've All Got Problems. The Levels Of Those Problems Vary, But We've All Got Problems. When You Can Take Things That Are Painful And Make Them Funny, That's A Gift - To You And Your Audience.

I Feel Like Whatever You've Done In Your Career, Good Or Bad, It's Nothing But Preparation For The Big Events To Come.

My Upbringing Was Solid Because Of The People I Had Around Me.

There Seems To Be Something Poetically That Doesn't Work Or Is Limiting When You Call God 'god' In A Poem. When I Tried To Be Honest With Myself In My Relationship With God, Christ Is, On The One Hand, Completely Dark, He's Transcendent And Unknown. On The Other Hand, He Is Completely Imminent And Completely Knowable As Jesus. Our Tradition Speaks Of Him In Both Ways As Transcendent But Also As A Lover Who Comes To Us, And The Two Word 'dark One' Seem To Me To Contain Both Things, The Transcendence And Otherness Of Christ, But Also Like A Kind Of Dark Lover Who Comes To Us.

What You Find I Think In The Mystical Strain Of Catholicism Is That You're Put In Relationship With God, And You Have Many Opportunities Not Only Of Talking With God In Petitionary Prayer, But Also Of Listening To God, Being Attentive To God, As Happens In Contemplation.

The Day You Stop Doing The Small Things Is The Day You Think You're Above Everybody Else.

People Who Eat With Their Mouth Open Should Be Punched In The Face.

My Fans Saw Me Get Engaged, Saw Me Make That Woman My Wife, Me Having Kids, Me Divorcing, Me Talking About Divorce Before The Divorce, Me Talking About My Kids' Reaction To That Divorce.

I Want To Be Funny, But It Has To Be A Believable Funny.

I Don't Know If I'm At The Relationship Advice Stage Yet. I Do Have A Lot Of Information To Share, And A Book Is Definitely In The Works, But I Don't Know Whether It'll Be Geared Towards Relationships.

I Don't See How People Are Comfortable With Seeing Other People Be Great. You Can Be Happy For Anybody, But What Is Your Excuse To Not Want To Be Great? These People Are Great Because They Just Say, 'i'ma Do That,' And They Do It. That's It. There's No Scientifical Process.

Comedy's About Opening Up And Being Unique, But To A Point Where The Audience Can Relate To What You're Saying.

I Can't Cook, But I Can Make A Turkey And Cheese Sandwich Like Nobody Else.

Cheese Sandwiches

I Was The Guy On The Swim Team Entertaining The Bus On The Way To The Meets.

I Love Making People Laugh. And I Love Laughing.

I'm Very Scary. I'm A Menace.

I Don't Have Ex's! I Have Y's. Like 'y The Hell Did I Date You?!

I Think Poetry Can Be A Kind Of Secular Way In Which People Can Be Led To Approach The Difficult Parts Of Their Life, Where There's Been Loss, Where There's Sadness Of A Deep Kind. If Poetry Can Help People To Be More At Ease In Expressing Even To Themselves A Lot Of The Darkness And Pain Of Ordinary Human Existence, Then It's Serving Some Kind Of Cultural Role, Perhaps More Than A Cultural Role, Perhaps It Is Serving Something Of A Spiritual Role.

I Am Capable Of Holding The Quote-unquote 'title' Of Leading Man. Leading Man Just Means People Want To See You And Assume That You Can Hold A Film, Carry A Movie.

In Marriage For Example, You Say 'yes' On The Day You Get Married, 'i Do', But Each Day You Implicitly If Not Explicitly, Also Say 'yes', By Every Act That One Performs In A Marriage, One Is Saying 'yes', Making A Cup Of Coffee For One's Wife Or Husband Is A Form Of Saying 'yes' To The Marriage Vow That One Is Continuing The Marriage By Affirming It In One's Deeds. And Exactly The Same In The Religious Life.

Hard Work And Determination Equals Success. Nothing Comes Easy. Put Your Mind To Something.

Relationships Are Like Farting, If You Push Too Hard Things Could Get Messy Real Fast.

When I Was In My Early 20s I Converted To Catholicism After A Long Period Of Searching. What I Think Drew Me To The Catholic Church Is That In Catholicism, Prayer Suffuses All Of One's Life By Virtue Of The Sacraments. Prayer Is Not Something Which Occurs Just On Sunday, It Doesn't Occur Only At Particular Moments Of Intensity Or By Particular Conventions, One's Whole Life Is Given Up To Prayer In Many, Many Modes. And So Everything To Do With The Faith Is Trying To Put You In Relationship With God And Trying To Make That Relationship Grow Deeper And More Mature.

My Success Comes In Making Fun Of Whatever You're Doing. That's My Way.

I'm Trying To Maintain A Level Of Realness That My Fans Can Appreciate.

Winners Are The Ones Who Want The Most Out Of Their Opportunities.

This Younger Generation That's Around, That's Tweeting, Facebooking And Vine-ing, The Fans Appreciate That Because They Feel Like They Can Get To You.

I Can Get Where Some Scientists Would Say Comedians Are Crazy. What You Have To Understand: A Lot Of Comedians Are Dealing With A Dark Passion. A Lot Of These Are Guys Coming From A Tumultuous Life, Including Myself. Some People Need Outlets, A Way To Express Yourself.

Some Sarcasm Is Best Told Simply. Some Humor Is Best Told Big And Some Is Best Told Small.

I'm Not The Most Attractive Fella. I'm Not A Billy Dee Williams. Personality Is Everything.

I Got A Chance To Work With Stallone And De Niro - Pretty Much Sums It Up For Me. You Can Tell Where You're Going In Your Career By The Company You Keep.

Company You Keep

If You Give Up At The First Sign Of Struggle, You're Really Not Ready To Be Successful.

'soul Plane' Put Me In A Position To Succeed. I'm Glad I Had The Opportunity To Be The Lead Man.

I Didn't Work Hard To Sit Down And Not Work.

I Was Probably Tall As A Child, But I Just Stopped Growing.

My Son Is Becoming Me - Just A Silly, Silly Prankster Guy.

People Like To Hear The Word 'love.'

It's A Well-known Fact That Tall People Are Evil.

There Was One Incident At A Movie Theater Where My Girl Got Mad At These Guys Who Were Talking Behind Us. I Never Looked Back There, But She Was Like, 'will You All Just Shut Up!' And I Just Got Up And Moved Three Rows In Front. She Was Like, 'what Are You Doing?!' I Was Like, 'you Better Get Up Here! I Don't Play The Fighting Games.'

Going Through My Divorce Has Changed Who I Am In My Understanding Of What's Good And Bad In Relationships.

I Don't Have To Change Anything. I Think That's The Secret To Comedy. You Want To Be Universal And Appeal To Everyone. You Want To Put Yourself In A Position That No Matter What You're Talking About, Everyone Can Relate To It And Understand It, Because It's An Experience That Everyone Can Go Through. That's What I Pattern My Writing Material And Jokes After. I'm Trying To Maintain A Level Of Realness That My Fans Can Appreciate.

I'm Not Going To Stop Having Problems.

What? Okay, Back Up. How In The Hell Do You 'turn Up Missing'?

When You Work Hard And You Treat People Great, Regardless Of What It Is That You're Doing, Naturally People Want To Help And Do Things.

The Good Thing About Having Chemistry Is, When You Get To The Improv Section Of A Scene, You've Got Somebody To Feed Off. It Can Go On And On And On, And The Sky's The Limit.

I Understand That Being Able To Appeal To The Public And Having An Amazing Sense Of Humour Is Not Something That Comes Easy. It's Definitely A Gift And For Which I'm Thankful.

The Only Time You Should Look Back In Life, Is To See How Far You Have Come.

No Man Wants To Settle Down. It Happens. Eventually You're Going To Bump Into Somebody That Makes You Go, 'hmm, I Don't Mind Seeing This Person Every Day.'

Barbra Streisand Has Accomplished So Much, And Dustin Hoffman As Well. They Are Down To Earth And Approachable. I Admire That.

I'm Sure Everyone Knows Now That Only A Few Have Performed In Madison Square Garden. That List Is So Small. Now I'm On That List. I'm A Part Of A Very Small Group, Which Is Unbelievable. You Relish In That Moment For A Second.

I Think, First Of All, I Don't Think People Understand Ice Cube's Body Of Work. Ice Cube Is A, And I Hate To Use The Word 'urban' But - When You Think Of Judd Apatow, And A Person Who's Launched So Many Careers, Ice Cube Has Done That For So Many Comedians, You Know?

There's A Difference Between Who We Love, Who We Settle For, And Who We're Meant For.

My Kids Are The Funniest Two Human Beings There Are.

The Best Feeling In The World Is Seeing The Benefits And Rewards Of Hard Work.

You See Some Of The Weirdest People In Detroit Casinos.

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