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Teleology Is Like A Mistress To A Biologist: He Cannot Live Without Her But He's Unwilling To Be Seen With Her In Public.

-John B. S. Haldane

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Teleology Is Like A

John B. S. Haldane

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Teleology Is Like A Mistress To A Biologist: He Cannot Live Without Her But He's Unwilling To Be Seen With Her In Public.

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It Was A Reaction From The Old Idea Of "protoplasm", A Name Which Was A Mere Repository Of Ignorance.

Science Is Vastly More Stimulating To The Imagination Than The Classics.

The Conclusion Forced Upon Me In The Course Of A Life Devoted To Natural Science Is That The Universe As It Is Assumed To Be In Physical Science Is Only An Idealized World, While The Real Universe Is The Spiritual Universe In Which Spiritual Values Count For Everything.

If One Could Conclude As To The Nature Of The Creator From A Study Of Creation It Would Appear That God Has An Inordinate Fondness For Stars And Beetles.

I Have Never Yet Met A Healthy Person Who Worried Very Much About His Health, Or A Really Good Person Who Worried Much About His Own Soul.

Shelley And Keats Were The Last English Poets Who Were At All Up To Date In Their Chemical Knowledge.

Einstein - The Greatest Jew Since Jesus. I Have No Doubt That Einstein's Name Will Still Be Remembered And Revered When Lloyd George, Foch And William Hohenzollern Share With Charlie Chaplin That Ineluctable Oblivion Which Awaits The Uncreative Mind.

You Can Drop A Mouse Down A Thousand-yard Mine Shaft And, On Arriving At The Bottom, It Gets A Slight Shock And Walks Away. A Rat Would Probably Be Killed, Though It Can Fall Safely From The Eleventh Story Of A Building, A Man Is Broken, A Horse Splashes.

A Time Will However Come (as I Believe) When Physiology Will Invade And Destroy Mathematical Physics, As The Latter Has Destroyed Geometry.

Haldane Was Engaged In Discussion With An Eminent Theologian. "what Inference," Asked The Latter, "might One Draw About The Nature Of God From A Study Of His Works?" Haldane Replied: "an Inordinate Fondness For Beetles."

Until Politics Are A Branch Of Science, We Shall Do Well To Regard Political And Social Reforms As Experiments Rather Than Short-cuts To The Millennium.

The Idea Of Protoplasm, Which Was Really A Name For Our Ignorance, [is] Only A Little Less Misleading Than The Expression "vital Force".

The Extreme Socialists Desire To Run Every Nation As A Single Business Concern.

It Wasn't Until I Had Performed By First Autopsy That I Realized That Even The Drabest Human Exteriors Could Contain The Most Beautiful Viscera. After That, I Would Console Myself For The Plainness Of My Fellow Bus-riders By Dissecting Them In My Imagination.

There Can Be No Truce Between Science And Religion.

Science And Religion

Would I Lay Down My Life To Save My Brother? No, But I Would To Save Two Brothers Or Eight Cousins.

Science Affects The Average Man And Woman In Two Ways Already. He Or She Benefits By Its Application Driving A Motor-car Or Omnibus Instead Of A Horse-drawn Vehicle, Being Treated For Disease By A Doctor Or Surgeon Rather Than A Witch, And Being Killed With An Automatic Pistol Or Shell In Place Of A Dagger Or A Battle-axe.

Reality Is The Cage Of Those Who Lack Imagination.

We Must Learn Not To Take Traditional Morals Too Seriously. And It Is Just Because Even The Least Dogmatic Of Religions Tends To Associate Itself With Some Kind Of Unalterable Moral Tradition, That There Can Be No Truce Between Science And Religion.

I Am Quite Sure That Our Views On Evolution Would Be Very Different Had Biologists Studied Genetics And Natural Selection Before And Not After Most Of Them Were Convinced That Evolution Had Occurred.

I Will Give Up My Belief In Evolution If Someone Finds A Fossil Rabbit In The Precambrian.

And If We Must Educate Our Poets And Artists In Science, We Must Educate Our Masters, Labour And Capital, In Art.

I Think, However, That So Long As Our Present Economic And National Systems Continue, Scientific Research Has Little To Fear.

You Can Analyze A Glass Of Water And You're Left With A Lot Of Chemical Components, But Nothing You Can Drink.

If Human Beings Could Be Propagated By Cutting, Like Apple Trees, Aristocracy Would Be Biologically Sound.

This Is My Prediction For The Future: Whatever Hasn't Happened Will Happen, And No One Will Be Safe From It.

I Have Come To The Conclusion That My Subjective Account Of My Motivation Is Largely Mythical On Almost All Occasions. I Don't Know Why I Do Things.

Teleology Is Like A Mistress To A Biologist: He Cannot Live Without Her But He's Unwilling To Be Seen With Her In Public.

So Many New Ideas Are At First Strange And Horrible Though Ultimately Valuable That A Very Heavy Responsibility Rests Upon Those Who Would Prevent Their Dissemination.

[children] Are Taught That It Is A Virtue To Accept Statements Without Adequate Evidence, Which Leaves Them A Prey To Quacks Of Every Kind In Later Life, And Makes It Very Difficult For Them To Accept The Methods Of Thought Which Are Successful In Science.

I Have No Doubt That In Reality The Future Will Be Vastly More Surprising Than Anything I Can Imagine. Now My Own Suspicion Is That The Universe Is Not Only Queerer Than We Suppose, But Queerer Than We Can Suppose.

The Advance Of Scientific Knowledge Does Not Seem To Make Either Our Universe Or Our Inner Life In It Any Less Mysterious.

To The Biologist The Problem Of Socialism Appears Largely As A Problem Of Size.

So Far From Being An Isolated Phenomenon The Late War Is Only An Example Of The Disruptive Result That We May Constantly Expect From The Progress Of Science.

Now, If The Cooperation Of Some Thousands Of Millions Of Cells In Our Brain Can Produce Our Consciousness, A True Singularity, The Idea Becomes Vastly More Plausible That The Cooperation Of Humanity, Or Some Sections Of It, May Determine What Comte Calls A Great Being.

Capitalism, Though It May Not Always Give The Scientific Worker A Living Wage, Will Always Protect Him, As Being One Of The Geese Which Produce Golden Eggs For Its Table.

If Materialism Is True, It Seems To Me That We Cannot Know That It Is True. If My Opinions Are The Result Of The Chemical Processes Going On In My Brain, They Are Determined By The Laws Of Chemistry, Not Those Of Logic.

We Do Not Know, In Most Cases, How Far Social Failure And Success Are Due To Heredity, And How Far To Environment. But Environment Is The Easier Of The Two To Improve.

Congratulations

There Is No Great Invention, From Fire To Flying, Which Has Not Been Hailed As An Insult To Some God.

A Fairly Bright Boy Is Far More Intelligent And Far Better Company Than The Average Adult.

An Ounce Of Algebra Is Worth A Ton Of Verbal Argument.

The World Shall Perish Not For Lack Of Wonders, But For Lack Of Wonder

Contemporary Society

I Will Jump Into The River To Save Two Brothers Or Eight Cousins.

The Creator Would Appear As Endowed With A Passion For Stars, On The One Hand, And For Beetles On The Other, For The Simple Reason That There Are Nearly 300,000 Species Of Beetle Known, And Perhaps More, As Compared With Somewhat Less Than 9,000 Species Of Birds And A Little Over 10,000 Species Of Mammals.

Religion Is Still Parasitic In The Interstices Of Our Knowledge Which Have Not Yet Been Filled. Like Bed-bugs In The Cracks Of Walls And Furniture, Miracles Lurk In The Lacunae Of Science. The Scientist Plasters Up These Cracks In Our Knowledge; The More Militant Rationalist Swats The Bugs In The Open. Both Have Their Proper Sphere And They Should Realize That They Are Allies.

I Suppose The Process Of Acceptance Will Pass Through The Usual Four Stages: (i) This Is Worthless Nonsense; (ii) This Is An Interesting, But Perverse, Point Of View; (iii) This Is True, But Quite Unimportant; (iv) I Always Said So.

Quantitative Work Shows Clearly That Natural Selection Is A Reality, And That, Among Other Things, It Selects Mendelian Genes, Which Are Known To Be Distributed At Random Through Wild Populations, And To Follow The Laws Of Chance In Their Distribution To Offspring. In Other Words, They Are An Agency Producing Variation Of The Kind Which Darwin Postulated As The Raw Material On Which Selection Acts.

The Wise Man Regulates His Conduct By The Theories Both Of Religion And Science. But He Regards These Theories Not As Statements Of Ultimate Fact But As Art-forms.

The Future Will Be No Primrose Path. It Will Have Its Own Problems. Some Will Be The Secular Problems Of The Past, Giant Flowers Of Evil Blossoming At Last To Their Own Destruction. Others Will Be Wholly New.

Christianity Is Haunted By The Theory Of A God With A Craving For Bloody Sacrifices.

I Do Not Believe In The Commercial Possibility Of Induced Radioactivity.

Blake Expressed Some Doubt As To Whether God Had Made The Tiger. But The Tiger Is In Many Ways An Admirable Animal. We Have Now To Ask Whether God Made The Tapeworm. And It Is Questionable Whether An Affirmative Answer Fits In Either With What We Know About The Process Of Evolution Or What Many Of Us Believe About The Moral Perfection Of God.

I Have Tried To Show Why I Believe That The Biologist Is The Most Romantic Figure On Earth At The Present Day. At First Sight He Seems To Be Just A Poor Little Scrubby Underpaid Man, Groping Blindly Amid The Mazes Of The Ultra-microscopic, Engaging In Bitter And Lifelong Quarrels Over The Nephridia Of Flatworms, Waking Perhaps One Morning To Find That Someone Whose Name He Has Never Heard Has Demolished By A Few Crucial Experiments The Work Which He Had Hoped Would Render Him Immortal.

A Discussion Between Haldane And A Friend Began To Take A Predictable Turn. The Friend Said With A Sigh, 'it's No Use Going On. I Know What You Will Say Next, And I Know What You Will Do Next.' The Distinguished Scientist Promptly Sat Down On The Floor, Turned Two Back Somersaults, And Returned To His Seat. 'there,' He Said With A Smile. 'that's To Prove That You're Not Always Right.'

An Attempt To Study The Evolution Of Living Organisms Without Reference To Cytology Would Be As Futile As An Account Of Stellar Evolution Which Ignored Spectroscopy.

The Conservative Has But Little To Fear From The Man Whose Reason Is The Servant Of His Passions, But Let Him Beware Of Him In Whom Reason Has Become The Greatest And Most Terrible Of The Passions. These Are The Wreckers Of Outworn Empires And Civilisations, Doubters, Disintegrators, Deicides.

In Fact, Words Are Well Adapted For Description And The Arousing Of Emotion, But For Many Kinds Of Precise Thought Other Symbols Are Much Better.

Money Can Buy A Fine Dog But It Is Kindness That Makes Him Wag His Tail.

My Final Word, Before I'm Done, Is "cancer Can Be Rather Fun"- Provided One Confronts The Tumour With A Sufficient Sense Of Humour. I Know That Cancer Often Kills, But So Do Cars And Sleeping Pills; And It Can Hurt Till One Sweats, So Can Bad Teeth And Unpaid Debts. A Spot Of Laughter, I Am Sure, Often Accelerates One's Cure; So Let Us Patients Do Our Bit To Help The Surgeons Make Us Fit.

There Are 400,000 Species Of Beetles On This Planet, But Only 8,000 Species Of Mammals.

The Creator, If He Exists, Has A Special Preference For Beetles.

It Seems To Me Immensely Unlikely That Mind Is A Mere By-product Of Matter. For If My Mental Processes Are Determined Wholly By The Motions Of Atoms In My Brain I Have No Reason To Suppose That My Beliefs Are True. They May Be Sound Chemically, But That Does Not Make Them Sound Logically. And Hence I Have No Reason For Supposing My Brain To Be Composed Of Atoms.

Man Armed With Science Is Like A Baby With A Box Of Matches.

Every Christian Church Has Tried To Impose A Code Of Morals Of Some Kind For Which It Has Claimed Divine Sanction. As These Codes Have Always Been Opposed To Those Of The Gospels A Loophole Has Been Left For Moral Progress Such As Hardly Exists In Other Religions.

While I Do Not Suggest That Humanity Will Ever Be Able To Dispense With Its Martyrs, I Cannot Avoid The Suspicion That With A Little More Thought And A Little Less Belief Their Number May Be Substantially Reduced.

Science Is As Yet In Its Infancy, And We Can Foretell Little Of The Future Save That The Thing That Has Not Been Is The Thing That Shall Be; That No Beliefs, No Values, No Institutions Are Safe.

My Practise As A Scientist Is Atheistic. That Is To Say, When I Set Up An Experiment I Assume That No God, Angel, Or Devil Is Going To Interfere With Its Course; And This Assumption Has Been Justified By Such Success As I Have Achieved In My Professional Career. I Should Therefore Be Intellectually Dishonest If I Were Not Also Atheistic In The Affairs Of The World. And I Should Be A Coward If I Did Not State My Theoretical Views In Public.

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