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Sometimes You Just Need To Talk To Someone Who Is Detached From You. They Just Listen To What You Tell Them And You Get To Form The Way That They See You, Whereas Everyone Else In Your Life Already Thinks They Know What You're Dealing With Or What You're Going Through. That's My Recommendation For Actual Anxiety.

-Veronica Roth

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Sometimes You Just Need

Veronica Roth

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Sometimes You Just Need To Talk To Someone Who Is Detached From You. They Just Listen To What You Tell Them And You Get To Form The Way That They See You, Whereas Everyone Else In Your Life Already Thinks They Know What You're Dealing With Or What You're Going Through. That's My Recommendation For Actual Anxiety.

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Yes," She Says, Her Eyes Bright With Tears. "my Dear Child, You've Done So Well.

Honesty Leads To Peace.

I Do Know Who You Are. I Just Needed To Be Reminded.

That Night We Push Our Cots Just A Little Closer Together, And Look Into Each Other's Eyes In The Moments Before We Fall Asleep. When He Finally Drifts Off, Our Fingers Are Twisted Together In The Space Between The Beds. I Smile A Little, And Let Myself Go.

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I Love The Wikipedia Link Chain Because It Has Led Me Into Some Strange Articles. Wikipedia Is One Of My Favorites.

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I Wish I Could Say I Felt Guilty For What I Did. I Don't.

The Truth Has A Way Of Changing People's Plans.

My Skepticism Is Strong, But My Curiosity Is Stronger.

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

I Think He Came To Die With Me," I Say. I Clamp My Hand Over My Mouth To Stifle A Sob. If I Can Keep Breathing, I Can Stop Crying. I Didn't Need Or Want Him To Die With Me. I Wanted To Keep Him Safe. What An Idiot, I Think, But My Heart Isn't In It. "that's Ridiculous," He Says. "that Doesn't Make Any Sense. He's Eighteen; He'll Find Another Girlfriend Once You're Dead. And He's Stupid If He Doesn't Know That." Tears Run Down My Cheeks, Hot At First And Then Cold. I Close My Eyes. "if You Think That's What It's About..." I Swallow Another Sob. "...you're The Stupid One.

Even Though I Am Still Injured, I Had To Fight Again Today.luckily This Time,i Was Paired Against Myra,who Couldn't Throw A Good Punch If Someone Was Controlling Her Arm For Her.

Don't You Dare Try To Apologize." His Voice Shakes. "this Is Not Something You Can Bandage With A Word Or Two And Some Hugging, Or Something.

Caleb," I Say, "i Love You." His Eyes Gleam With Tear As He Says, "i Love You, Too, Beatrice.

He Slides His Hand Over My Cheek, One Finger Anchored Behind My Ear. Then He Tilts His Head Down And Kisses Me, Sending A Warm Ache Through My Body. I Wrap My Hands Around His Arm, Holding Him There As Long As I Can. When He Touches Me, The Hollowed-out Feeling In My Chest And Stomach Is Not As Noticeable.

I Feel Empty, Not Because Of Sadness, But Because Of Relief, All The Tension Flowing Out Of Me.

He Seems Designed Specifically For Speed And Deadly Accuracy. But Not Strength, Not Particularly-he Is Smart, But Not Strong. Only Strong Enough To Carry Me.

You Won," Four Mutters. "stop." I Wipe The Sweat From My Forehead. He Stares At Me. His Eyes Are Too Wide; They Look Alarmed.

I Also Don't Believe That Whatever Come After Life Depends On My Correctly Reciting A List Of My Transgressions-that Sounds Too Much Like An Erudite Afterlife To Me, All Accuracy And No Feeling.

A Sob Racks My Body Again, And He Wraps His Arms Around Me So Tightly I Find It Difficult To Breathe, But It Doesn't Matter. My Dignified Weeping Gives Way To Full-on Ugliness, My Mouth Open And My Face Contorted And Sounds Like A Dying Animal Coming From My Throat. If This Continues I Will Break Apart, And Maybe That Would Be Better, Maybe It Would Be Better To Shatter And Bear Nothing.

I Think That You Are The Liar!" I Say, My Voice Quaking. "you Tell Me You Love Me, You Trust Me, You Think I'm More Perceptive Than The Average Person. And The First Second That Belief In My Perceptiveness, That Trust, That Love Is Put To The Test, It Falls Apart." I Am Crying Now, But I Am Not Ashamed Of The Tears Shining On My Cheeks Or The Thickness Of My Voice. "so You Must Have Lied When You Told Me All Those Things... You Must Have, Because I Can't Believe Your Love Is Really That Feeble.

I Think They're Going To Force Us To Eat Lots Of Cake And Then Take An Unreasonably Long Nap.

Nothing Else Is Alright. But We Are. -tobias

What Do--" Tobias's Voice. Tobias! "oh My God. Oh--" "spare Me Your Blubbering, Okay? Peter Says. "she's Not Dead; She's Just Paralyzed. It'll Only Last For About A Minute. Now Get Ready To Run." I Don't Understand. How Does Peter Know? "let Me Carry Her," Tobias Says. "no. You're A Better Shot Than I Am. Take My Gun. I'll Carry Her.

You Know What Abnegation Used To Say About Pride?' 'something Unfavorable,i Assume.' I Laugh.' Obviously. They Said It Blinds People To The Truth Of What They Are.

I Also Wanted To Ask You If We Can Talk To The Erudite You're Keeping Safe Here," I Say. "i Know They're Hidden, But I Need Access To Them." "and What Do You Intend To Do?" She Says. "shoot Them," I Say, Rolling My Eyes. "that Isn't Funny.

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My Tris Should Look Pale And Small--she Is Pale And Small, After All--but Instead The Room Is Full Of Her.

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I Can’t Leave Now. I Like Her Too Much. There, I Said It. But I Won’t Say It Again.

I Only Came For Cake" -tobias Eaton, Divergent

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I See A Kind Of Thirst In Her Expression, The Same One I Saw When She Told Me About Her Brother In The Back Room Of The Tattoo Parlor. Before The Attack Simulation I Might Have Called It A Thirst For Justice, Or Even Revenge, But Now I Am Able To Identify It As A Thirst For Blood. And Even As It Frightens Me, I Understand It. Which Should Probably Frighten Me Even More.

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It's When You're Acting Selflessly That You Are At Your Bravest." --four In Divergent

I Expect To Weave Through The Crowd, Dodging Elbows And Muttering "excuse Me" The Way I Always Do, But There Is No Need. Becoming Dauntless Has Made Me Noticable.

Let's Just Hug Already," He Says. Keeping One Hand Firm On Caleb's Arm, I Wrapped My Free Arm Around Zeke, And He Does The Same. When We Break Apart, I Pull Caleb Down The Alley, And Can't Resist Calling Back, "i'll Miss You." "you Too, Sweetie!" He Grins, And His Teeth Are White In The Twilight. They Are The Last Thing I See Of Him Before I Have To Turn And Set Out At A Trot For The Train.

But I Think That No Matter How Smart, People Usually See What They're Already Looking For, That's All.

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She Must Love Me, To Worry About Me. She Must Still Be Capable Of Love.

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I Like To Think That Im Helping Them By Hating Them

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You're Not A Coward Just Because You Don't Want To Hurt People.

Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide- Open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

People, I Have Discovered, Are Layers And Layers Of Secrets. You Believe You Know Them, That You Understand Them, But Their Motives Are Always Hidden From You, Buried In Their Own Hearts. You Will Never Know Them, But Sometimes You Decide To Trust Them.

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Then His Eyes Focus On Something Over My Shoulder, And He Starts Walking. I Turn To See Uriah Jogging From The Elevator Bank. He Is Grinning. “heard A Rumor You Were A Dirty Traitor,” Uriah Says. “yeah, Whatever,” Says Zeke. They Collide In An Embrace That Looks Almost Painful To Me, Slapping Each Other’s Backs And Laughing With Their Fists Clasped Between Them.

I Suppose Everything Is Bound To Look Different When You Aren't On Your Way To Die.

This Concept Could Easily Have Gone Awry. Stories About Love Tend To Go That Way Sometimes. They Wander Into The Realm Of Cheese And Never Return, Which I Think Is A Shame, Because There Is A Way To Write About Romantic Love Without Breaking Out The Velveeta.

I Point At A Window To My Left, And It Explodes. Particles Of Glass Rain Over Us. ‘you’ll Have To Do Better Than That,' I Say.

She Taught Me All About Real Sacrifice. That It Should Be Done From Love, Not Misplace Disgust For Another Person's Genetics.

Who Cares About Pretty? I'm Going For Noticeable.

Nothing Else Is All Right.” His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. “but We Are.

Who Cares About Everyone? What About Me?

If We Stay Together, I'll Have To Forgive You Over And Over Again, And If You're Still In This, You'll Have To Forgive Me Over And Over Again Too. So Forgiveness Isn't The Point. What I Really Should Have Been Trying To Figure Out Is Whether We Were Still Good For Each Other Or Not

I Am His, And He Is Mine, And It Has Been That Way All Along.

Which Means That In Order To Defeat Her, I Have To Think Of A Way To Defeat Myself. And How Can I Be A Better Fighter Than Myself, If She Knows The Same Strategies I Know, And Is Exactly As Resourceful And Clever As I Am?

Then Everyone Can Call You Six.” “four And Six,” I Say.

They Try To Make You Think They Care About What You Do But They Don't. They Don't Want You To Act A Certain Way. So You're Easy To Understand. So You Won't Pose A Threat To Them.

Resisting Is Worth Doing.

We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

Not Writing Is As Important As Writing - Go Out Into The World And Remember How Interesting It, And The People In It, Are.

In Our Factions, We Find Meaning, We Find Purpose, We Find Life.

You're Not Very Nice," I Say, Grinning. "you're One To Talk." "hey, I Could Be Nice If I Tried." "hmm." He Taps His Chin. "say Something Nice, Then." "you're Very Good-looking." He Smiles, His Teeth A Flash In This Dark. "i Like This 'nice' Thing.

I Used To Go Outside Every Day And Invent These Elaborate Worlds And Scenarios In My Head, And When I Grew Too Old For Playing Pretend, I Started To Write Everything Down Instead.

Where's Marcus, Destroyer Of Lives, Going To Meet Us?

Independent And Uninvolved. Must Be Nice. -tris

You're More Than Dauntless," He Says In A Low Voice. "but If You Want To Be Just Like Them, Hurling Yourself Into Ridiculous Situations For No Reason And Retaliating Against Your Enemies Without Any Regard For What's Ethical, Go Right Ahead. I Thought You Were Better Than That, But Maybe I Was Wrong.

Without Thinking, I Grab Al's Arm And Squeeze It As Tightly As I Can. I Just Need Something To Hold On To. Blood Runs Down The Side Of Christina's Face And Splatters On The Ground Next To Her Cheek. This Is The First Time I Have Ever Prayed For Someone To Fall Unconscious.... Al Frees His Hand And Pulls Me Tight To His Side. I Clench My Teeth To Keep From Crying Out.

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

It's Like He Knows, He Knows I Have A Thing For Her.

In Some Parts Of The Ancient World, The Hawk Symbolized The Sun. Back When I Got This, I Figured If I Always Had The Sun On Me, I Wouldn't Be Afraid Of The Dark

Nature Is Neutral. Nature Doesn't Care How Much Money A Person Makes.

Just Because They Didn’t Shoot You All In The Head Doesn’t Mean Their Intentions Were Somehow Honorable. Why Do You Think They Came Here? Just To Run Through Your Hallways, Knock You Conscious, And Leave?

You've Never Had A Hamburger Before?" Asks Christine, Her Eyes Wide. "no," I Say. "is That What It's Called?" "stiffs Eat Plain Food," Four Says, Nodding At Christina. "why?" She Asks. I Shrug. "extravagance Is Considered Self-indulgent And Unnecessary." She Smirks. "no Wonder You Left." "yeah," I Say,rolling My Eyes. "it Was Just Because Of The Food." The Corner Of Four's Mouth Twitches.

I Have Realized That Part Of Being Dauntless Is Being Willing To Make Things More Difficult For Yourself In Order To Be Self-sufficient. There's Nothing Especially Brave About Wandering Dark Streets With No Flashlight, But We Are Not Supposed To Need Help, Even From Light. We Are Supposed To Be Capable Of Anything. I Like That. Because Their Might Come A Day When There Is No Flashlight, There Is No Gun, There Is No Guiding Hand. And I Want To Be Ready.

One Piece Of Advice I Have Is: Want Something Else More Than Success. Success Is A Lovely Thing, But Your Desire To Say Something, Your Worth, And Your Identity Shouldn’t Rely On It, Because It’s Not Guaranteed And It’s Not Permanent And It’s Not Sufficient. So Work Hard, Fall In Love With The Writing — The Characters, The Story, The Words, The Themes — And Make Sure That You Are Who You Are Regardless Of Your Life Circumstances. That Way, When The Good Things Come, They Don’t Warp You, And When The Bad Things Hit You, You Don’t Fall Apart.

Falling In Love

All I Can Do Is Stand Still- I Feel Like If I Just Stand Still, I Can Stop It From Being True, I Can Pretend That Everything Is All Right.

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

There's A Reason Why She Left Them, Lauren," He Says. His Voice Is Deep, And It Rumbles. "what's Your Name?" "um..." I Don't Know Why I Hesitate. But "beatrice" Just Doesn't Sound Right Anymore. "think About It," He Says, A Faint Smile Curling His Lips. " You Don't Get To Pick Again." A New Place, A New Name. I Can Be Remade Here. "tris," I Say Firmly.

When I Look At The Abnegation Lifestyle As An Outsider, I Think It’s Beautiful. When I Watch My Family Move In Harmony; When We Go To Dinner Parties And Everyone Cleans Together Afterward Without Having To Be Asked; When I See Caleb Help Strangers Carry Their Groceries, I Fall In Love With This Life All Over Again.

Falling In Love

But When You Kill Someone You Love, The Hard Part Is Never Over. It Just Gets Easier To Distract Yourself From What You've Done.

Someone You Love

Learning How To Think In The Midst Of Fear Is A Lesson That Everyone Needs To Learn.

Why Would The Factionless Have A High Divergent Population?" It Sounds Like She's Smirking. "obviously Those Who Can't Confine Themselves To A Particular Way Of Thinking Would Be Most Likely To Leave A Faction Or Fail Its Initiation, Right?

I Knew By The Way He Looked At Her That He Held Her In A Higher Regard Than He Held Even Himself. No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodeness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know. My Father: Erudite-born, Abnegation-grown. He Often Found It Difficult To Live Up To The Demands Of His Chosen Faction, Just As I Did. But He Tried, And He Knew True Selflessness When He Saw It.

It Happened. It Was Awful. You Aren't Perfect. That's All There Is. Don't Confuse Your Grief With Guilt.

I Have Discovered That Sitting Still Leaves Little Spaces For The Grief To Get In, So I Stay Busy.

You May Have Succeeded In Shutting Down The Attack Simulation, Girl, But It Was By Luck Alone, Not Skill. I Would Die Of Shock If You Managed To Do Anything Useful Again For A Long Time" This Is The Marcus That Tobias Knows. The One Who Knows Right Where To Hit To Cause The Most Damage.

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I Think It's A Human Tendency That's Been Around For A While To Try To Be As Good As Possible To Prove Your Worth.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

I Feel Acutely Aware Of How Young I Am. In A Way That Is Good. It's Productive. It Makes Me Realise That I Should Be Growing As A Writer And A Person.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

There's Really No Way To Be Perfect. Perfectionism Is A Silly Trait To Have, So In A Lot Of Ways That Inspired The World Of 'divergent,' In Which Everyone Is Striving Toward That Ideal And Falling Short Of It.

Come On,'he Says.' I Have Something Else To Show You.

Tobias And Tris

What Makes You Different, Makes You Dangerous.

He Looks Like A Man Who Has Spent Most Of His Life Frowning.

I Notice, However, That Peter Only Pretends To Inject Himself—when He Presses The Plunger Down, The Fluid Runs Down His Throat, And He Wipes It Casually With A Sleeve. I Wonder What It Feels Like To Volunteer To Forget Everything.

Forget Everything

Some People Will Always Fear Change. But We Can't Indulge Them.

I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

Yeah, Sometimes Life Really Sucks. But You Know What I'm Holding On For? The Moments That Don't Suck. The Trick Is To Notice Them When They Come Around.

Instead I Just Let The Silence Stretch Out Between Us. It's The Only Adequate Response To What He Just Told Me, The Only That Does The Tragedy Any Justice Instead Of Patching It Hastily And Moving On.

The Theory Is That If You Spill All Your Secrets, You'll Have No Desire To Lie About Anything, Ever Again. Like The Worst About You Is Already In The Open, So Why Not Just Be Honest?

I Stare At Him. I Feel My Heartbeat Everywhere, Even In My Toes. I Feel Like Doing Something Bold, But I Could Just As Easily Walk Away. I Am Not Sure Which Option Is Smarter, Or Better. I Am Not Sure That I Care.

I'll Have To Keep Looking For More Of Them, More Brief Moments Of Freedom In A World That Refuses To Allow It.

I Used To Think That When People Fell In Love, They Just Landed Where They Landed, And They Had No Choice In The Matter Afterward. And Maybe That's True Of Beginnings, But It's Not True Of This, Now.

Sorry, Am I Being Rude?" She Asks. "i'm Used To Saying Whatever Is On My Mind. Mom Used To Say That Politeness Is Deception In Pretty Packaging

Thank You For Your Honesty.

My Heart Beats So Hard It Hurts, And I Can't Scream And I Can't Breathe, But I Also Feel Everything, Every Vein And Every Fiber, Every Bone And Every Nerve, All Awake And Buzzing In My Body As If Charged With Electricity. I Am Pure Adrenaline.

Living Without Virtues Is To Live Divorced From Society, Seperated From The Most Important Thing In Life, Community.

My Body Rises With The Water. Instead Of Kicking My Feet To Stay Abreast Of It, I Push All The Air From My Lungs And Sink To The Bottom. The Water Muffles My Ears. I Feel Its Movement Over My Face. I Think About Snorting The Water Into My Lungs So It Kills Me Faster, But I Can't Bring Myself To Do It. I Blow Bubbles From My Mouth. Relax. I Close My Eyes. My Lungs Burn.

You Know, Most Boys Would Enjoy Being Trapped In Close Quarters With A Girl." I Roll My Eyes. "not Claustrophobic People, Tris.

Why Are You Constantly Escorting Me Places?” I Say. “isn’t There A Depraved Activity You’re Supposed To Be Taking Part In? Kicking Puppies Or Spying On Girls While They Change, Or Something?

I Don't Need To Relive My Fears Anymore. All I Need To Do Now Is Try To Overcome Them.

Awkwardness Aside, It's Nice To Be Liked.

Sometimes I Just... Want To See It Again. Want To See You Awake.

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

The Candor Sing The Praises Of The Truth, But They Never Tell You How Much It Costs.

The Amity Established This Place As A Safe House. No Conflict Allowed." "the Amity Will Have Trouble Enforcing That Policy," Says Marcus. "how Do You Stop Conflict Without Conflict?

Thank You For Your Honesty," Niles Says. The Candor Repeat The Phrase Under Their Breath. All Around Me Are The Words "thank You For Your Honesty" At Different Volumes And Pitches, And My Anger Begins To Dissolve.

Inquisitiveness Is Self-serving, Johanna. -marcus Eaton

I Am Wearing A Gray Shirt, Blue Jeans, Black Shoes--new Clothes, But Beneath Them, My Dauntless Tattoos. It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices. Especially These.

Maybe Dauntless Was Formed With Good Intentions, With The Right Ideals And The Right Goals. But It Has Strayed Far From Them. And The Same Is True Of Erudite, I Realize. A Long Time Ago, Erudite Pursued Knowledge And Ingenuity For The Sake Of Doing Good. Now They Pursue Knowledge And Ingenuity With Greedy Hearts. I Wonder If The Other Factions Suffer From The Same Problem. I Have Not Thought About It Before.

I Was Angry With Him Before. I’m Not Really Sure Why. Maybe I Was Just Angry That The World Had Become Such A Complicated Place, That I Have Never Known Even A Fraction Of The Truth About It. Or That I Allowed Myself To Grieve For Someone Who Was Never Really Gone, The Same Way I Grieved For My Mother All The Years I Thought She Was Dead. Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And It’s Been Played On Me Twice.

I Have A Message For The Divergent" I Am Divergent. "this Is Not A Negotiation" No, It Is Not. "it Is A Warning" I Understand. "every Two Days Until One Of You Delivers Yourself To Erudite Headquarters . . ." I Will. " . . . This Will Happen Again" It Will Never Happen Again.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

It Would Be Nice If Life Worked This Way, Stripping The Dirt From Our Lives And Sending Us Back Out Into The World Clean. But Some Dirt Is Destined To Lingered.

I Settle Into Their Pace. The Uniform Pounding Of Feet In My Ears And The Homogeneity Of The People Around Me Makes Me Believe That I Could Choose This. I Could Be Subsumed Into Abnegation’s Hive Mind, Projecting Always Outward.

If Utopian Fiction Became The New Trend, I Wouldn't Read It.

I Don't Believe It Is More Important To Move Forward Than To Know The Truth.

I Will Be My Undoing If I Become My Obsession.

Psyche You Out?" I Repeat. "i'm Your Friend. I Wouldn't Do That." He Doesn't Say Anything. I Can Tell He Doesn't Believe Me-not Quite.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

Please. They're Like The Cult Of Four.

So Small As To Be Negligible. It's Strange, But There's Something In That Thought That Makes Me Feel Almost...free.

Did You Just Call Me Beatrice?

But Now I’m Wondering If I Need It Anymore, If We Ever Really Need These Words, “dauntless,” “erudite,” “divergent,” “allegiant,” Or If We Can Just Be Friends Or Lovers Or Siblings, Defined Instead By The Choices We Make And The Love And Loyalty That Binds Us.

'divergent' Was My Utopian World. I Mean, That Wasn't The Plan. I Never Even Set Out To Write Dystopian Fiction, That's Just What I Had When I Was Finished. At The Beginning, I Was Just Writing About A Place I Found Interesting And A Character With A Compelling Story, And As I Began To Build The World, I Realized That It Was My Utopia.

I Am Better Off Doing As Abnegation Taught Me: Turning Away From Myself, Projecting Always Outward, And Hoping That In Whatever Is Next, I Will Be Better Than I Am Now.

His Eyes Search The Crowd Until They Find My Face. My Heartbeat Lives In My Throat; Lives In My Cheeks. "i Still Don't Understand," He Says Softly, "how She Knew That It Would Work.

Because Life Is Not Fair, Albert. And The World Is Conspiring Against You.

Well, Half Of Half Our Faction.' 'in Some Circles They Call That A Quarter, Mar,' Lynn Says.

That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

I Have To Face The Fear. I Have To Take Control Of The Situation And Find A Way To Make It Less Frightening.

Take A Person’s Memories, And You Change Who They Are.

When Her Body First Hit The Net, All I Registered Was A Gray Blur. I Pulled Her Across It And Her Hand Was Small, But Warm, And Then She Stood Before Me, Short And Thin And Plain And In All Ways Unremarkable- Except That She Had Jumped First. The Stiff Had Jumped First. Even I Didn't Jump First. Her Eyes Were So Stern, So Insistent. Beautiful.

I Feel His Heartbeat Against My Cheek,as Fast As My Own. "are You Afraid Of Me, Too, Tobias?" "terrified," He Replies With A Smile.

The Battle We Are Fighting Is Not Against A Particular Group. It Is Against Human Nature - Or At Least What It Has Become.

We May Both Be Bad, But There’s A Huge Difference Between Us—i’m Not Content With Being This Way.

Guilt [is] A Tool, Rather Than A Weapon Against The Self.

I Wipe My Face With My Sleeve, Laughing So Hard My Stomach Hurts. If My Entire Life Is Like This, Loud Laughter And Bold Action And The Kind Of Exhaustion You Feel After A Hard But Satisfying Day, I Will Be Content.

Laughing So Hard

I'm Going To Shoot A Muffin Off Marlene's Head.

I Was Still Afraid Of Him, I Knew, But In A Different Way - I Was No Longer A Child, Afraid Of The Threat My Terrifying Father Posed To My Safety. I Was A Man, Afraid Of The Threat He Posed To My Character, To My Future, To My Identity.

I Always Appreciate People's Opinions, But Sometimes I Have To Take A Step Back And Remember Why I'm Writing And What I Want To Do With It. Shutting Out The Voices Is Difficult But It's Been Good For Me.

I Love You," I Say. I Said That Once, Before I Went To Erudite Headquarters, But He Was Asleep Then. I Don't Know Why I Didn't Say It When He Could Hear It. Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion. Or Afraid That I Did Not Know What It Was To Love Someone. But Now I Think The Scary Thing Was Not Saying It Before It Was Too Late. Not Saying It Before It Was Almost Too Late For Me.

In My Own Relationships, I Know That I Should Break Up With Someone Who Doesn't Encourage Me To Be Strong And Make My Own Choices And Do What's Best In My Life, So If You're Dating Someone Who Doesn't Want You To Be The Best Person You Can Be, You Shouldn't Be Dating Them.

Cute Relationship

For God's Sake, Stiff," He Says. "you Don't Have To Follow Me," I Say Staring At The Maze Of Bars Above Me. I Shove My Foot Onto The Place Where Two Bars Cross And Push Myself Up, Grabbing Another Bar In The Process. I Sway For A Second, My Heart Beating So Hard I Can't Feel Anything Else. Every Thought I Have Condenses Into That Heartbeat, Moving At The Same Rhythm. "yes, I Do," He Says.

Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

Life's Something We Already Understand. Death Is A Mystery.

...there Is Power In Self-sacrifice.

Shh,” I Say. “arms Around Me.” Obediently, He Slips Both Arms Around My Waist. I Smile At The Wall. I Am Not Enjoying This. I Am Not, Not Even A Little Bit, No.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

I Slowly Realized That Perfectionism Just Not That Important. What's More Important Is To Try To Love The People Around You. Whatever That Means At A Particular Time Is The Best You Can Do.

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