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Sometimes I Think That The Amount Of Time You Live On Earth Is Just An Inverse Reflection Of How Good You Were In A Previous Existence. For Example, Infants Who Die From Sids Were Actually Great People When They Were Alive For Real, So They Get To Go To Heaven After A Mere Five Weeks In Purgatory. Meanwhile Anyone Willard Scott Ever Congratulated For Turning One Hundred Two Was Obviously A Terrible Individual Who Had Many Many Previous Sins To Pay For And Had To Spend A Century In His Or Her Own Unknown Purgatory Even Though The Person Seemed Perfectly Wholesome In This Particular World.

-Chuck Klosterman

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Sometimes I Think That

Chuck Klosterman

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Sometimes I Think That The Amount Of Time You Live On Earth Is Just An Inverse Reflection Of How Good You Were In A Previous Existence. For Example, Infants Who Die From Sids Were Actually Great People When They Were Alive For Real, So They Get To Go To Heaven After A Mere Five Weeks In Purgatory. Meanwhile Anyone Willard Scott Ever Congratulated For Turning One Hundred Two Was Obviously A Terrible Individual Who Had Many Many Previous Sins To Pay For And Had To Spend A Century In His Or Her Own Unknown Purgatory Even Though The Person Seemed Perfectly Wholesome In This Particular World.

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Let's Face It: Sadness And Evil Are Always More Believable Than Happiness And Love. When A Movie Reviewer Calls A Film "realistic," Everyone Knows What That Means--it Means The Movie Has An Unhappy Ending.

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Film And Television

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Being Interesting Has Been Replaced By Being Identifiable.

If Somebody Asked For The First Draft Of Something I'd Written, It'd Probably Be Pretty Close To Whatever Got Published. I Get Enjoyment Out Of Writing, But I Get Absolutely No Enjoyment Out Of Rewriting, So I Don't Do Much Of It. The More You Work On Something, Certainly, The Better It Gets. But There's Also A Pretty Clear Law Of Diminishing Returns.

The Strength Of Your Memory Dictates The Size Of Your Reality

The Things He Did On Purpose Were Usually No Different From The Mistakes He Made By Accident.

Maybe I Don't Need A Relationship After All, She Thought. Maybe Thinking About These Conversations Was Just As Good As Having Them. She Could Sit In Her Honda In The Dark And Experience Whatever Kind Of Life She Wanted. Sometimes You Think, Hey, Maybe There's Something Else Out There. But There Really Isn't. This Is What Being Alive Feels Like, You Know? The Place Doesn't Matter. You Just Live.

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We Argued About How Hard It Would Be To Ride A Bear, Assuming Said Bear Was Muzzled.

When I Think About The Future, I'm Not Necessarily Arguing It's Going To Be Better Or Worse. I'm Just Saying It's Going To Be Different.

A Lot Of People Involved With Celebrity Journalism Have Interesting Ideas About The People They Want To Write About Going Into The Interview. Then As Soon As They Actually Sit Down With That Person, They Basically Ask The Questions They Think Journalists Are Supposed To Ask, And They Start Viewing Themselves Almost As A Peer Of The Subject. Like They're Going To Become Friends. That's Why Most Celebrity Journalism Is So Terrible.

Maybe It Takes Forty Years Of Your Life To Understand How The World Seems To Work.

What Is Going To Happen In The Course Of My Day That Will Be An Improvement Over Lying On Something Very Soft, Underneath Something Very Warm, Wearing Only Underwear, Doing Absolutely Nothing, All By Myself?

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It Feels So Exhausting To Be So Bad At Something I Loved So Much.

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Everyone Knows History Is Written By The Winners, But That Cliche Misses A Crucial Detail: Over Time, The Winners Are Always The Progressives. Conservatism Can Only Win In The Short Term, Because Society Cannot Stop Evolving (and Social Evolution Inevitably Dovetails With The Agenda Of Those Who See Change As An Abstract Positive). It Might Take Seventy Years, But It Always Happens Eventually. Serious Historians Are, Almost Without Exception, Self-styled Progressives. Radical Views--even The Awful Ones--improve With Age.

I Am Interested In The Possibility That We Are Going To Be Wrong In The Same Way That History Has Indicated That Mankind Always Is. It Seems As Though The History Of Ideas Is The History Of Being Wrong. And To Me, That Is A Kind Of Continuum. It's A Continual Path That Shows We Don't Always Know Something, But We're Always Shifting To A Path That Makes Us Feel More Comfortable In The Moment, Even If That Shift Is Wrong, And A New Shift Is Destined To Happen Again.

When Arthur Schlesinger Sr. Pioneered The 'presidential Greatness Poll' In 1948, The Top Five Were Lincoln, Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, And Jefferson. Only Wilson Appears To Be Seriously Fading, Probably Because His Support For The World War I-era Sedition Act Now Seems Outrageous; In This Analogy, Woodrow Is Like The Doors And The Sedition Act Is Oliver Stone.

It Drives Me Crazy To Do Readings Of My Books, Because If I Read Anything I've Written In The Past, I'd Like To Almost Rewrite Everything. If I Could, I'd Completely Rewrite Fargo Rock City, And Every Sentence Would Be Just Slightly Different. In All Likelihood, Most Of Them Wouldn't Be Any Better. Some Of Them Would Just Be Changed Back To Whatever Form They Used To Be, Before I Second-guessed Myself The First Time.

My Mind And Gut Are Never Simpatico: Every Time I Think Somebody Likes Me, She Doesn't; Every Time I Think Somebody Doesn't Like Me, She Does. This Has Never Changed And I'm Certain It Never Will.

When I Was A Film Critic, The Reason I Kind Of Found It Disenchanting Was Because The Things That I Wanted To Talk About Were The Ideas In The Movie, The Theme Of It, And Contextual Elements That Weren't Necessarily Central To The Story. But The Only Thing People Really Wanted Was A Plot Description And How Many Stars I'd Give It. It Didn't Matter How Much Effort You Put Into Writing A Piece, They Looked At It Solely As A Consumer's Guide Toward Going Or Not Going To Films.

Soccer Is Like Punk Rock: The Product Is Not Necessarily Terrible. The Problem Is The Fan Base.

Observing Someone Without Context Amplifies The Experience. The More We Know, The Less We Are Able To Feel.

No Woman Will Ever Satisfy Me. I Know That Now, And I Would Never Try To Deny It. But This Is Actually Okay, Because I Will Never Satisfy A Woman, Either. Should I Be Writing Such Thoughts? Perhaps Not. Perhaps It’s A Bad Idea. I Can Definitely Foresee A Scenario Where That First Paragraph Could Come Back To Haunt Me, Especially If I Somehow Became Marginally Famous.

Pundits Are Always Blaming Tv For Making People Stupid, Movies For Desensitizing The World To Violence, And Rock Music For Making Kids Take Drugs And Kill Themselves. These Things Should Be The Least Of Our Worries. The Main Problem With Mass Media Is That It Makes It Impossible To Fall In Love With Any Acumen Of Normalcy. There Is No 'normal,' Because Everybody Is Being Twisted By The Same Sources Simultaneously.

Falling In Love

It Is Very Easy For Me To Imagine In 200 Years, People Looking Back At Chemotherapy As Proof That People Of The 20th Century Were Insane And Just Morons.

I Grew Up On A Farm, And We Didn't Have Cable And Only Limited Radio Stations, So I Wasn't Inundated With Culture The Way People In Other Parts Of The Country Were. But I Was Really Interested In It.

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I Would Hate For Climate Change To Be Accepted Simply Because Everyone Was Dying.

We Are Often Wrong About The Past, But At Least With The Past You Can Change Your Thinking. We Can't Do That With The Future.

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It Seems As Though Our Ability To Change Technology Happens So Quickly, And Our Ability To Evolve As Creatures Is Still Very Slow.

Ability To Change

When Someone Writes A Book Review, They Obviously Already Self-identify As A Writer. I Mean, They Are. They're Writers, They're Critics, And They're Writing About A Book About A Writer Who's A Critic. So I Think It's Really Hard For People To Distance Themselves From What They're Criticizing.

Because I'm 44, I Feel Kind Of Lucky That I Lived Through This Period Where I Started My Career Where There Was No Internet At All, And Now When I Finish It, There Will Be Nothing But The Internet.

I Tend To Equate Sadness With Intelligence.

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Without A Soundtrack, Human Interaction Is Meaningless.

I Feel Sorry For People Who Have To Edit Me. Which Is Why Book Writing Is By Far The Most Enjoyable. Really The Only Thing It's Based On Is Whether It's Good Or Not. No Book Editor, In My Experience, Is Getting A Manuscript And Trying To Rewrite It.

If You Can't Swim, The Idea Of Being In Nine Feet Of Water Is Terrifying, Much Less The Ocean.

Sometimes I Wonder What Will Be The Air Conditioning Of My Dying Days. What Thing Will They Add That Will Make It Impossible To Be Uncomfortable? Because I Do Assume That As An Old Person, I Will Be Very Comfortable. There Will Be Something - A Drug Or Some Way To Impact The Air Around Me - That When I Relax, I'm Gonna Feel Great. So I Do Look Forward To That.

Every Time I Learn The Truth About Something, I’m Disappointed

I Think That Most Technology Is Positive In The Short Term, And Negative In The Long Term. I Wonder, If Somebody Looked Back At The 20th And 21st Centuries A Thousand Years From Now, What Their Perception Of The Car Would Be. Or Of Television. I Wonder If Over Time, They'll Be Seen As This Thing That Drove The Culture, But Ultimately Had More Downside Than Upside.

If I Had To Make A Choice Between Only Writing About Sports Or Only Writing About Music, I Would Probably Write About Music. I'm Not Sure Why That Is. There Seems To Be More To Write About With Music, Just Because It's More Of A Splintered Thing. There's More Subgenres. With Sports, It's More Objective In A Way.

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I Think This Is The Kind Of Thing Where We're Rapidly Moving Toward An Age Where Most Of The Populace Will Be Almost Unable To Imagine Life Without An Internet Component Interlocked With It.

Anybody Who Says They Are A Good Liar Obviously Is Not, Because Any Legitimately Savvy Liar Would Always Insist They're Honest About Everything.

We’re All Tourists, Sort Of. Life Is Tourism, Sort Of. As Far As I’m Concerned, The Dinosaurs Still Hold The Lease On This Godforsaken Rock.

The Only People Who Think The Internet Is A Calamity Are People Whose Lives Have Been Hurt By It; The Only People Who Insist The Internet Is Wonderful Are Those Who Need It To Give Their Life Meaning.

It Is Important To Have Questionable Friends You Can Trust Unconditionally.

To Me, Fear Of The Future Means Fear Of Technology. I Have A Little Bit Of That. I Still Use It, But I Kind Of See Technology As This Harmful Thing That's So Ingrained In My Life That It Sort Of Dictates And Controls My Relationship With It.

I Think One Possibility [in The Future] Might Be Chemotherapy. And I'm Always Hesitant To Say That Because It Makes It Sound Like I'm Against Chemotherapy. Right Now, Chemotherapy Is The Best Cancer Treatment Therapy We Have. But Let's Say We Find Some Way Where We Can Almost Genetically Engineer The Dna Of Our Being And Fight Cancer That Way. Then, The Idea That We Used To Pump Poison Into People To Fight Off Cancer Will Almost Seem Like The Use Of Leeches Or Something.

We All Eventually Become Whatever We Pretend To Hate.

Science Fiction Tends To Be Philosophy For Stupid People.

I Love Music, Right? I Can't Say "i'm Only Going To Listen To A Physical Medium," Because There's A Bunch Of Meaningful Records That As A Music Fan I Love That I Would've Never Been Able To Access. So If I Want To Be Part Of Something I Have To Get Dragged Along With Technology.

The People Who Review My Books, Generally, Are Kind Of Youngish Culture Writers Who Aspire To Write Books, Or Write Opinion Pieces About What They Think Of Neil Young, Or Why They Quit Watching Er Or Whatever. And Because Of That, I Think There's A Lot Of People Who Write About My Books With The Premise Of, "why This Guy? Why Not Me?"

I Am Of The Opinion, And Have Been For A Long Time, That Any Kind Of Big Technological Move Is Almost Always Positive In The Short Term But Inevitably Somewhat Negative In The Long Term. And I Think There Are Many Examples Of This In Every Possible Context.

I Almost Never Get Lonely. I Love Being Alone. I'm Glad I'm Married, And I Love My Wife. But There's Never Been A Situation In My Life Where My Unhappiness Was Based On Loneliness.

Sure There's A Percentage Of People Who Are Like, "it Snowed In May. I Don't Believe In Climate Change." Well, That's Crazy, But That's Always Gonna Be The Case. I Suppose If Climate Change Happens Much Faster Than Even The Dire Experts Predict, Then I Suppose Opinions Will Change.

When You're Writing For Newspapers You Have All These Parameters. You Can't Swear, You Have To Use Short Paragraphs, All That. If You Stay Within Those Parameters, You Have Lots Of Freedom Because You're Writing For The Next Day.

Sarcasm Is When You Tell Someone The Truth By Lying On Purpose.

This Is What Being Alive Feels Like, You Know? The Place Doesn't Matter. You Just Live.

Texting Has Become My Favorite Way To Communicate. I Feel Like Many Of My Relationships Are Based In This, Because In A Sense It Feels The Closest To Actual Conversation That Isn't The Phone.

The Amount Of Response I Get, In Both A Negative And A Positive Context, Is Completely Related To The Amount Of Books I Sell, I Think. It Seems To Have Nothing To Do With What I'm Writing, But What Degree Of Success I'm Perceived To Have. It's Really Weird, Especially Since I Spent So Much Of My Life Covering People Who Are Famous. It's Interesting To Actually Have It Happen To Me On Some Level.

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If You Don't Have A Job, You Don't Have A Fear Of Losing It. You Fear Having To Get One.

I Can Tell When I've Met A Bad Journalist When They Say, "i've Met Madonna," Or "i Know Marilyn Manson." Because I Haven't Met Anyone I've Ever Interviewed. I've Sat Down In The Position Of An Interviewer, And They've Sat Down In The Position Of An Artist Trying To Promote A Product. We Have No Relationship. I'm Able To Ask Them Questions I'd Never Be Allowed To Ask Them If We Were Casual Friends. It's A Completely Constructed Kind Of Situation.

I Feel Like A Lot Of People Involved With Celebrity Journalism Have Interesting Ideas About The People They Want To Write About Going Into The Interview. Then As Soon As They Actually Sit Down With That Person, They Basically Ask The Questions They Think Journalists Are Supposed To Ask, And They Start Viewing Themselves Almost As A Peer Of The Subject. Like They're Going To Become Friends. That's Why Most Celebrity Journalism Is So Terrible.

Women Intrinsically Understand Human Dynamics, And That Makes Them Unstoppable. Unfortunately, The Average Man Is Less Adroit At Fostering Such Rivalries, Which Is Why Most Men Remain Average; Males Are Better At Hating Things That Can't Hate Them Back (e.g., Lawnmowers, Cats, The Denver Broncos, Et Cetera). They Don't See The Big Picture.

I Think One Of The Many Interesting Things About [donald] Trump Is That People In The Media Did Not Take Him Seriously For Months. Then, When It Was Clear He Was Going To Be The Nominee, They Immediately Hit The Panic Button. I Think They Overlook The Possibility That He Could Just Be A Really Bad President In The Way That Presidents Are Traditionally Bad.

The Deeper Reality Is That I’m Not Sure If What I Do Is Real. I Usually Believe That I’m Certain About How I Feel, But That Seems Naive. How Do We Know How We Feel?…there Is Almost Certainly A Constructed Schism Between (a) How I Feel, And (b) How I Think I Feel. There’s Probably A Third Level, Too—how I Want To Think I Feel.

If You Move Furniture All Day, If You're A Construction Worker, If You Have A Job That's Real Physical, This Idea That There Is A Sport That Involves The Kind Of Conventional, Traditional View Of Toughness, You See That Still As A Positive Thing.

Somewhere, At Some Point, Somehow, Somebody Decided That Death Equals Credibility.

It's Possible This Whole "why Do Latinos Love Morrisey?" Question Will Haunt Us Forever. Fortunately, Canadian Academics Are On The Case.

I'm Good At Being By Myself. I Guess If You're A Writer You Get Used To That.

I Honestly Believe That People Of My Generation Despise Authenticity, Mostly Because They're All So Envious Of It.

I Think A Bigger Difference With Social Media Is Going To Be Things Like The Impact Instagram Will Have For Historians. For The Longest Time, We Had No Images Of The Past. And Then When We Had The Advent Of The Camera, We Had A Record Of The Things People Chose To Photograph, Which, For A While, Were Portraits Of Your Family, A New Building We Built, Or A Really Big Horse. Well Now We Have Images Of Everything. That Will Be The Biggest Difference I Think - That We Will Have A Visual Record Of This Reality In A Way That Will Be Completely Covered.

The Amount Of Response I Get, In Both A Negative And A Positive Context, Is Completely Related To The Amount Of Books I Sell, I Think. It Seems To Have Nothing To Do With What I'm Writing, But What Degree Of Success I'm Perceived To Have.

Real People Are Actively Trying To Live Like Fake People, So Real People Are No Less Fake. Every Comparison Becomes Impractical. This Is Why The Impractical Has Become Totally Acceptable; Impracticality Almost Seems Cool.

I Love Sports, But I Don't Like Live Sporting Events, Because I Don't Like Sitting In The Crowd. I Like Listening To Records, But I Don't Like Going To Concerts, Because I Don't Like Standing In The Crowd. I Guess I Just Don't Like Being In The Crowd Itself.

The Sims Is An Escapist Vehicle For People Who Want To Escape To Where They Already Are, Which Is Why I Thought This Game Was Made Precisely For Me.

You're Trying To Find New Ideas In People. I Always Think To Myself, What Question I Am Least Comfortable Asking The Person? And Then I Make Sure I Ask It Early In The Interview.

If Someone Feels Negative About The Way Society Or Culture Seems To Be Going, What It Probably Suggests Is That It's Just Moving Away From The State That They Are Comfortable With Or Used To. It's Understandable Why Someone Would Feel That Way.

The Worst Thing You Can Do To Anybody Trying To Be Creative Is To Demand Participation In Their Vision.

Instead, We Were Given A Publication Called The Weekly Reader, Which Was Like A Newspaper For Four-foot Illiterates.

The Goal Of Being Alive Is To Figure Out What It Means To Be Alive.

If Someone Breaks Your Heart, Just Punch Them In The Face. Oh Sure, It Seems Obvious Now, But You'd Be Amazed At How Many People Don't Think Of It When It's Relevant. Seriously, Punch Them In The Face And Go Get Some Ice Cream.

The Villain Is The Person Who Knows The Most But Cares The Least.

As An Adult, The Only People Who Care About Horror Movies Are Academics. No One Loves To Talk About Horror Films More Than Somebody With A Ph.d. In Cultural Studies At A University.

It Doesn't Matter What You Can Do If You Don't Know Why You're Doing It.

-- And It Occurred To Me That People Who Don't Talk About Themselves Are Limiting Their Own Potential. They Think They're Guarding Themselves For Some Sort Of Abstract Dange, But They're Actually Allowing Other People To Decide Who They Are And What They're Like.

Art And Love Are The Same Thing: It’s The Process Of Seeing Yourself In Things That Are Not You.

If I'm Around Spiders, My Fear Isn't So Much The Spider, But My Fear Is That I'm Somewhere Rustic And That Spiders Are Crawling Around. I Must Be In The Woods.

Football Allows The Intellectual Part Of My Brain To Evolve, But It Allows The Emotional Part To Remain Unchanged. It Has A Liberal Cerebellum And A Reactionary Heart. And This Is All I Want From Everything, All The Time, Always.

We Are Always Dying, All The Time. That's What Living Is; Living Is Dying, Little By Little. It Is A Sequenced Collection Of Individualized Deaths.

Anyone Who Claims To Be Good At Lying Is Obviously Bad At Lying. Thus - As A Writer Myself - I Cannot Comment On Whether Or Not Writers Are Exceptionally Good Liars, Because Whatever I Said Would Actually Mean Its Complete Opposite.

What's Kind Of Happening Is The Conflict Over Football Might Be A Class Conflict Where There Is A Percentage Of People Who Have No Relationship To Physicality And A Percentage Of The Populace Who Still Does.

A Lot Of People Have This Strategy Where If They Have A Hard Question They Wait To Ask It To The End Of The Interview Because They Think The Person Is Going To Walk Out. But What They Have To Realize Is, Is That If The Person Walks Out, They Have A Pretty Successful Story.

Every Generation Is More Influenced By Technology, Which Is Always Changing Faster.

People Are More Interested In Reading Bombastic Ideas, Whether They're Positive Or Negative. Part Of Me Has Sort Of Lost Interest In Doing Criticism Because Of That. I've Always Realized That Criticism Is Basically Autobiography. Obviously In My Criticism, It's Very Clear That It's Autobiography, But I Think It's That Way For Everybody.

I Want Fake Love. But That's All I Want, And That's Why I Can't Have It.

People Can Demand Someone They've Never Met Be Arrested And Thrown In Jail Forever Because They Know It's Never Going To Happen And They're Never Going To See This Person.

The Most Wretched People In The World Are Those Who Tell You They Like Every Kind Of Music 'except Country.' People Who Say That Are Boorish And Pretentious At The Same Time.

If Donald Trump Loses Badly, It Could Mean The End Of The Gop As One Of The Two Significant Parties.

If You're Doing An Interview, You Need Conversational Tension. After You Talk To Them, You're Not Going To Have A Relationship With Them, They're Not Going To Like You, They're Not Going To Be Your Friend.

Technology Evolves Faster Than People Do, Faster Than Biology Does.

In New York, People Are Unhappy On Purpose, Because Unhappiness Makes Them Seem More Complex; In Washington Dc It Just Sort Of Works Out That Way.

In Some Ways, Halloween Is Much Easier For Women. They Can Just Dress As Sluts, And It's Kind Of A Costume, If They Never Do Any Other Time.

Sometimes I Think That The Amount Of Time You Live On Earth Is Just An Inverse Reflection Of How Good You Were In A Previous Existence. For Example, Infants Who Die From Sids Were Actually Great People When They Were Alive For Real, So They Get To Go To Heaven After A Mere Five Weeks In Purgatory. Meanwhile Anyone Willard Scott Ever Congratulated For Turning One Hundred Two Was Obviously A Terrible Individual Who Had Many Many Previous Sins To Pay For And Had To Spend A Century In His Or Her Own Unknown Purgatory Even Though The Person Seemed Perfectly Wholesome In This Particular World.

If You’re The Type Of Person Who Wants To Associate Exclusively With Those Who Perfectly Mirror Your Own Ethical Worldview, You’re Reducing Significantly The Scope Of Your Potential Life Experience.

Life Experience

Coldplay Songs Deliver An Amorphous, Irrefutable Interpretation Of How Being In Love Is Supposed To Feel, And People Find Themselves Wanting That Feeling For Real. They Want Men To Adore Them Like Lloyd Dobler Would, And They Want Women To Think Like Aimee Mann, And They Expect All Their Arguments To Sound Like Sam Malone And Diane Chambers. They Think Everything Will Work Out Perfectly In The End (just Like It Did For Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones And Nick Hornby's Rob Fleming), And They Don't Stop Believing Because Journey's Steve Perry Insists We Should Never Do That.

As Of Right Now, I Am In Love With Her, And That Love Is The Biggest Problem In My Life.

It Has Always Been My Belief That People Are Remembered For The Sum Of Their Accomplishments But Defined By Their Singular Failure.

I Write Pretty Fast, Probably Faster Than Most People. But I Might Think About Something For Six Hours, Then Write It In 20 Minutes. So Did I Write For Six Hours And 20 Minutes, Or Just 20 Minutes? I Used To Write Absolutely Every Day, Except For Days When I Had To Travel Or Something.

The Mass Media Causes Sexual Misdirection: It Prompts Us To Need Something Deeper Than What We Want. This Is Why Woody Allen Has Made Nebbish Guys Cool; He Makes People Assume There Is Something Profound About Having A Relationship Based On Witty Conversation And Intellectual Discourse. There Isn't. It's Just Another Gimmick, And It's No Different Than Wanting To Be With Someone Because They're Thin Or Rich Or The Former Lead Singer Of Whiskeytown.

Even Eternally Free People Are Enslaved By The Process Of Living.

Saying You Like "piano Man" Doesn't Mean You Like Billy Joel; It Means You're Willing To Go To A Piano Bar If There's Nothing Else To Do

I'm Really An Alarmist When It Comes To Epidemics. Swine Flu Now; When Sars Was Big, I Was All Freaked Out About That, Bird Flu. That Terrifies Me.

The People Who Review My Books, Generally, Are Kind Of Youngish Culture Writers Who Aspire To Write Books. When Someone Writes A Book Review, They Obviously Already Self-identify As A Writer. I Mean, They Are. They're Writers, They're Critics, And They're Writing About A Book About A Writer Who's A Critic. So I Think It's Really Hard For People To Distance Themselves From What They're Criticizing.

As More And More People Recognize The Level Of Violence Involved And The Consequences Of Cte [chronic Traumatic Encephelopathy, A Degenerative Brain Disorder], They're Obviously Going To Say "we Don't Want This To Be A Part Of Culture." And They Overlook The Fact That There's A Huge Swath Of The Populace Where Physicality Is Still A Real Common Thing.

People Who Are Wrong During Particularly Important Moments Inevitably Spend The Rest Of Their Lives Trying To Explain How Their Wrongness Was Paradoxically Correct, Or-at The Very Least-why Their Wrongness "felt Right At The Time," Which Is Very, Very Different From Being Authentically Correct.

People Who Talk About Their Dreams Are Actually Trying To Tell You Things About Themselves They’d Never Admit In Normal Conversation.

What My Mom Failed To Understand Was That I Didn't Even Want Long Hair -- I Needed Long Hair. And My Desire For Protracted, Flowing Locks Had Virtually Nothing To Do With Fashion, Nor Was It A Form Of Protest Against The Constructions Of Mainstream Society. My Motivation Was Far More Philosophical. I Wanted To Rock.

And I Spilled Gravy On My Carolina Sweater, Because I Am Alive.

I Think Anyone Who's Not As Good A Writer As Me Is Absolutely A Hack, And I Think Anybody Who's A Slightly Better Writer Than Me Is Brilliant. So Of Course That Makes Me A Horrible Critic When It Comes To Books, Because I Can't Distance My Own Experience From What I'm Doing.

The Last Girl I Love Will Be Someone I Haven’t Even Met Yet, Probably.

I Used To Watch A Lot Of Documentaries About Satanic Possession - And I Don't Know If This Is Racist Or Not - But In The Documentaries, It Never Happened To Americans! It Was Always Happening In Central America Or South America; That's Where The Priest Was Always Going Down To Exorcise Possessed People. So I Didn't Have A Lot Of Fear Of Being Possessed By The Devil.

...i've Spent The Last Fifteen Years Of My Life Railing Against The Game Of Soccer, An Exercise That Has Been Lauded As "the Sport Of The Future" Since 1977. Thankfully, That Future Dystopia Has Never Come.

All My Friends Are Rock Critics, So We Talk About Rock Criticism A Lot. Because Of That, In Order To Be Part Of The Conversation, You Have To Have An Awareness Of What The Discussion Is.

If Rain Is God Crying, I Think God Is Drunk And His Girlfriend Just Slept With Zeus.

But No Matter How Many Times We Re-rank The Presidents, In Another 200 Years, The Top Presidents Will Still Be Washington And Lincoln And Jefferson, Because They Defined What A President Is. They Are The Idea, And You Can't Be Better Than The Idea.

We Would Sit In The Living Room, Drink A Case Of Busch Beer, And Throw The Empty Cans Into The Kitchen For No Reason Whatsoever, Beyond The Fact That It Was The Most Overtly Irresponsible Way For Any Two People To Live.

Every Relationship Is Fundamentally A Power Struggle, And The Individual In Power Is Whoever Likes The Other Person Less.

Everybody Is Wrong About Everything, Just About All The Time.

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