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Real Grief Is Not Healed By Time... If Time Does Anything, It Deepens Our Grief. The Longer We Live, The More Fully We Become Aware Of Who She Was For Us, And The More Intimately We Experience What Her Love Meant For Us. Real, Deep Love Is, As You Know, Very Unobtrusive, Seemingly Easy And Obvious, And So Present That We Take It For Granted. Therefore, It Is Only In Retrospect - Or Better, In Memory - That We Fully Realize Its Power And Depth. Yes, Indeed, Love Often Makes Itself Visible In Pain.

-Henri Nouwen

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Real Grief Is Not

Henri Nouwen

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Real Grief Is Not Healed By Time... If Time Does Anything, It Deepens Our Grief. The Longer We Live, The More Fully We Become Aware Of Who She Was For Us, And The More Intimately We Experience What Her Love Meant For Us. Real, Deep Love Is, As You Know, Very Unobtrusive, Seemingly Easy And Obvious, And So Present That We Take It For Granted. Therefore, It Is Only In Retrospect - Or Better, In Memory - That We Fully Realize Its Power And Depth. Yes, Indeed, Love Often Makes Itself Visible In Pain.

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Precisely Where I Feel My Poverty Is Where I Discover God's Blessing.

Hiddenness Is The Place Of Purification. In Hiddenness We Find Our True Selves.

Although We Tend To Think About Saints As Holy And Pious, And Picture Them With Halos Above Their Heads And Ecstatic Gazes, True Saints Are Much More Accessible. They Are Men And Women Like Us, Who Live Ordinary Lives And Struggle With Ordinary Problems. What Makes Them Saints Is Their Clear And Unwavering Focus On God And God's People.

In Community, Where You Have All The Affection You Could Ever Dream Of, You Feel That There Is A Place Where Even Community Cannot Reach. That's A Very Important Experience. In That Loneliness, Which Is Like A Dark Night Of The Soul, You Learn That God Is Greater Than Community.

It Is Not That The University As Such Is Against Spiritual Formation. It Is Just That Often The University Does Not Know How To Integrate Spiritual Formation Within Its Academic Disciplines.

Where Is Peace To Be Found? The Answer Is Surprising But Clear. In Weakness. Why There? Because In Our Weakness, Our Familiar Ways Of Controlling And Manipulating Our World Are Being Stripped Away, And We Are Forced To Let Go From Doing Much, Thinking Much, And Relying On Our Self-sufficiency. Right There Where We Are Most Vulnerable, The Peace That Is Not Of This World Is Mysteriously Hidden.

Although Many, We Might Even Say Most, Strangers In This World Become Easily The Victim Of A Fearful Hostility, It Is Possible For Men And Women And Obligatory For Christians To Offer An Open And Hospitable Space Where Strangers Can Cast Off Their Strangeness And Become Our Fellow Human Beings.

God Is A God Of The Present. God Is Always In The Moment, Be That Moment Hard Or Easy, Joyful And Painful.

The Real Question Is: How Can I Live So That My Death Will Be Fruitful For Others?

[the Return Of The Prodigal Book] Came Out Of My Emotional And Spiritual Journey During The Four Months I Was Gone From Daybreak Because Of Depression.

The More You Are Called To Speak For God's Love, The More You Will Need To Deepen The Knowledge Of That Love In Your Own Heart. The Farther The Outward Journey Takes You, The Deeper The Inward Journey Must Be. Only When Your Roots Are Deep Can Your Fruits Be Abundant.

Discipline Means To Prevent Everything In Your Life From Being Filled Up. Discipline Means That Somewhere You're Not Occupied, And Certainly Not Preoccupied. In The Spiritual Life, Discipline Means To Create That Space In Which Something Can Happen That You Hadn't Planned Or Counted On.

The Mystery Of Ministry Is That We Have Been Chosen To Make Our Own Limited And Very Conditional Love The Gateway For The Unlimited And Unconditional Love Of God.

Unconditional Love

The Art Of Living Is To Enjoy What We Can See And Not Complain About What Remains In The Dark. When We Are Able To Take The Next Step With Trust That We Will Have Enough Light For The Step That Follows, We Can Walk Through Life With Joy And Be Surprised At How Far We Go.

If You Are Not Able To Be Silent, You Will Not Be Able To Speak Well.

Who Can Take Away Suffering Without Entering It?

As Those Who Are Chosen, Blessed, Broken, And Given, We Are Called To Live Our Lives With A Deep Inner Joy And Peace. It Is The Life Of The Beloved, Lived In A World Constantly Trying To Convince Us That The Burden Is On Us To Prove That We Are Worthy Of Being Loved.

As Peacemakers, We Must Resist All The Powers Of War And Destruction And Proclaim That Peace Is The Divine Gift Offered To All Who Affirm Life. Resistance Means Saying 'no' To All The Forces Of Death, Wherever They May Be.

Discipline In The Spiritual Life Is The Concentrated Effort To Create The Space And Time Where God Can Become Our Master And Where We Can Respond Freely To God's Guidance.

Pay Attention To The People God Puts In Your Path If You Want To Discern What God Is Up To In Your Life.

Jesus' Whole Life And Mission Involve Accepting Powerlessness And Revealing In This Powerlessness The Limitlessness Of God's Love. Here We See What Compassion Means. It Is Not A Bending Toward The Underprivileged From A Privileged Position; It Is Not A Reaching Out From On High To Those Who Are Less Fortunate Below; It Is Not A Gesture Of Sympathy Or Pity For Those Who Fail To Make It In The Upward Pull. On The Contrary, Compassion Means Going Directly To Those People And Places Where Suffering Is Most Acute And Building A Home There.

Prayer Is The Beginning And The End, The Source And The Fruit, The Core And The Content, The Basis And The Goal Of All Peacemaking.

As We Are Involved In Unceasing Thinking, So We Are Called To Unceasing Prayer.

Forgiveness Is The Name Of Love Practiced Among People Who Love Poorly. The Hard Truth Is That All People Love Poorly. We Need To Forgive And Be Forgiven Every Day, Every Hour Increasingly. That Is The Great Work Of Love Among The Fellowship Of The Weak That Is The Human Family.

Do Not Despair, Thinking That You Cannot Change Yourself After So Many Years. Simply Enter Into The Presence Of Jesus As You Are And Ask Him To Give You A Fearless Heart Where He Can Be With You. You Cannot Make Yourself Different. Jesus Came To Give You A New Heart, A New Spirit, A New Mind, And A New Body. Let Him Transform You By His Love And So Enable You To Receive His Affection In Your Whole Being.

When You Have Loved Deeply, That Love Can Grow Even Stronger After The Death Of The Person You Love. That Is The Core Message Of Jesus.

Those Who Think That They Have Arrived, Have Lost Their Way. Those Who Think They Have Reached Their Goal, Have Missed It. Those Who Think They Are Saints, Are Demons.

Friendship Is One Of The Greatest Gifts A Human Being Can Receive. It Is A Bond Beyond Common Goals, Common Interests, Or Common Histories. It Is A Bond Stronger Than Sexual Union Can Create, Deeper Than A Shared Fate Can Solidify, And Even More Intimate Than The Bonds Of Marriage Or Community. Friendship Is Being With The Other In Joy And Sorrow, Even When We Cannot Increase The Joy Or Decrease The Sorrow. It Is A Unity Of Souls That Gives Nobility And Sincerity To Love. Friendship Makes All Of Life Shine Brightly.

The Lord Is Coming, Always Coming. When You Have Ears To Hear And Eyes To See, You Will Recognize Him At Any Moment Of Your Life. Life Is Advent; Life Is Recognizing The Coming Of The Lord

The Soul Of The Artist Cannot Remain Hidden.

Waiting Time Is Not Wasting Time. Waiting Patiently In Expectation Is The Foundation Of The Spiritual Life.

The Great #‎ Conversion Called For By Jesus Is To Move From Belonging To The World To Belonging To God.

When You Pray, You Open Yourself To The Influence Of The Power Which Has Revealed Itself As Love. The Power Gives You Freedom And Independence. Once Touched By This Power, You Are No Longer Swayed Back And Forth By The Countless Opinions, Ideas, And Feelings Which Flow Through You. You Have Found A Center For Your Life That Gives You A Creative Distance So That Everything You See, Hear, And Feel Can Be Tested Against The Source.

The Church Is The Body Of Christ Fashioned By Baptism & The Eucharist.

Solitude Is The Place Of Purification And Transformation, The Place Of The Great Struggle And The Great Encounter.

A Sense Of Solitude Is One Of The Most Beautiful Things That Parents Can Give A Child. It Doesn't Mean Leaving The Child Alone, But It Does Mean Creating Safe Spaces Where The Child Can Be With Other People. It Does Mean Directing Their Attention To God.

God Wants You To Live For Others And To Live That Presence Well.

Live For Others

Feelings Of Guilt Dominate Our Work As Peacemakers We Cannot Last Long. But When We Have Opened Each Other's Eyes To The Great Human Gifts Among All People We Can Indeed Make Peacemaking A Way Of Being.

Compassion Means Full Immersion In The Condition Of Being Human.

Let's Start With Jesus' Answer: "look For The Kingdom First And All Else Will Come Together." Life Is Fragmenting, Fragmented. I Have A Thousands Things To Do, Others Do Too. We Can Live Our Life As If The Main Question Is, "how Can Keep It Together? How Do I Juggle All The Balls? But The Real Question Is, "how Can I Stay Home - Interiorly Home - While I Do These Many Things?

When We Keep Claiming The Light, We Will Find Ourselves Becoming More And More Radiant.

Every Time You Reject Yourself, You Idealize Others

Praying Is No Easy Matter. It Demands A Relationship In Which You Allow Someone Other Than Yourself To Enter Into The Very Center Of Your Person, To See There What You Would Rather Leave In Darkness, And To Touch There What You Would Rather Leave Untouched.

A Life Without A Lonely Place, That Is, Without A Quiet Center, Becomes Destructive.

For Me The University Has Always Been An Ideal Context For Spiritual Formation. I Always Felt That If You Want To Offer Spiritual Formation At The University, You Can.

In This Crazy World, There's An Enormous Distinction Between Good Times And Bad, Between Sorrow And Joy. But In The Eyes Of God, They're Never Separated. Where There Is Pain, There Is Healing. Where There Is Mourning, There Is Dancing. Where There Is Poverty, There Is The Kingdom.

Spiritual Identity Means We Are Not What We Do Or What People Say About Us. And We Are Not What We Have. We Are The Beloved Daughters And Sons Of God.

We Need To Remind Each Other That The Cup Of Sorrow Is Also The Cup Of Joy, That Precisely What Causes Us Sadness Can Become The Fertile Ground For Gladness.

For As Long As You Can Remember, You Have Been A Pleaser, Depending On Others To Give You An Identity. You Need Not Look At That Only In A Negative Way. You Wanted To Give Your Heart To Others, And You Did So Quickly And Easily. But Now You Are Being Asked To Let Go Of All These Self-made Props And Trust That God Is Enough For You. You Must Stop Being A Pleaser And Reclaim Your Identity As A Free Self.

The Dance Of Life Finds Its Beginnings In Grief......here A Completely New Way Of Living Is Revealed. It Is The Way In Which Pain Can Be Embraced, Not Out Of A Desire To Suffer, But In The Knowledge That Something New Will Be Born In The Pain.

Life Is Precious. Not Because It Is Unchangeable, Like A Diamond, But Because It Is Vulnerable, Like A Little Bird. To Love Life Means To Love Its Vulnerability, Asking For Care, Attention, Guidance, And Support. Life And Death Are Connected By Vulnerability. The Newborn Child And The Dying Elder Both Remind Us Of The Preciousness Of Our Lives. Let's Not Forget The Preciousness And Vulnerability Of Life During The Times We Are Powerful, Successful, And Popular.

It's Not Easy To Sit And Trust That In Solitude God Will Speak To You - Not As A Magical Voice But That God Will Let You Know Something Gradually Over The Years. And In That Word From God You Will Find The Inner Place From Which To Live Your Life. Solitude Is Where Spiritual Ministry Begins. That's Where Jesus Listened To God. That's Where We Listen To God.

The University Has Become A Place That Prepares You For The Fights In The World.

You Have To Listen To The One Who Calls You Beloved. That Has To Be Affirmed Over And Over Again. That Is Prayer - Listening To The Voice Of The One Who Calls You "the Beloved."

To Learn Patience Is Not To Rebel Against Every Hardship.

You Have To Dare To Live Through The Pain And Struggle. Acknowledge Your Anguish But Do Not Let It Pull You Out Of Yourself. Hold On To Your Chosen Direction, Your Discipline, Your Prayer, Your Work, Your Guides, And Trust That One Day Love Will Have Conquered Enough Of You That Even The Most Fearful Part Will Allow Love To Cast Out All Fear.

Where Are You Getting Your Affection? Who's Touching You? Who's Holding You? Who Makes You Feel Alive? Who Says, "you Are A Beautiful Person, You Are The Beloved Of God, Don't Forget It"? That's An Important Discipline.

Yes, It's A Competitive World, But Where Is Your Heart?

Let’s Not Be Afraid To Look At Everything That Has Brought Us To Where We Are Now And Trust That We Will Soon See In It The Guiding Hand Of A Loving God.

The Church Will Always Be Renewed When Our Attention Shifts From Ourselves To Those Who Need Our Care. The Blessing Of Jesus Always Comes To Us Through The Poor. The Most Remarkable Experience Of Those Who Work With The Poor Is That, In The End, The Poor Give More Than They Receive. They Give Food To Us.

Solitude Is An Essential Element For The Spiritual Health Of A Child. If We Only Stimulate Our Children - Keep Them Busy With Endless Stories With No Space To Be Alone - That's Not Good.

When We Honestly Ask Ourselves Which Person In Our Lives Mean The Most To Us, We Often Find That It Is Those Who, Instead Of Giving Advice, Solutions, Or Cures, Have Chosen Rather To Share Our Pain And Touch Our Wounds With A Warm And Tender Hand. The Friend Who Can Be Silent With Us In A Moment Of Despair Or Confusion, Who Can Stay With Us In An Hour Of Grief And Bereavement, Who Can Tolerate Not Knowing, Not Curing, Not Healing And Face With Us The Reality Of Our Powerlessness, That Is A Friend Who Cares.

Patience Asks Us To Live The Moment To The Fullest, To Be Completely Present To The Moment, To Taste The Here And Now, To Be Where We Are. When We Are Impatient We Try To Get Away From Where We Are. We Behave As If The Real Thing Will Happen Tomorrow, Later, And Somewhere Else. Let's Be Patient And Trust That The Treasure We Look For Is Hidden In The Ground On Which We Stand.

Live In The Moment

The Great Spiritual Task Facing Me Is To So Fully Trust That I Belong To God That I Can Be Free In The World--free To Speak Even When My Words Are Not Received; Free To Act Even When My Actions Are Criticized, Ridiculed, Or Considered Useless.... I Am Convinced That I Will Truly Be Able To Love The World When I Fully Believe That I Am Loved Far Beyond Its Boundaries.

Gratitude Goes Beyond The 'mine' And 'thine' And Claims The Truth That All Of Life Is A Pure Gift. In The Past I Always Thought Of Gratitude As A Spontaneous Response To The Awareness Of Gifts Received, But Now I Realize That Gratitude Can Also Be Lived As A Discipline. The Discipline Of Gratitude Is The Explicit Effort To Acknowledge That All I Am And Have Is Given To Me As A Gift Of Love, A Gift To Be Celebrated With Joy.

Those Who Keep Speaking About The Sun While Walking Under A Cloudy Sky Are Messengers Of Hope, The True Saints Of Our Day.

'how Much Longer Will I Live?'... Only One Thing Seems Clear To Me. Every Day Should Be Well-lived. What A Simple Truth! Still, It Is Worthy Of My Attention.

When The Imitation Of Christ Does Not Mean To Live A Life Like Christ, But To Live Your Life As Authentically As Christ Lived His, Then There Are Many Ways And Forms In Which A Man Can Be A Christian.

Television Is Obviously An Enormous Intruder. Quite Often People Say They Have No Time, But In Fact They Waste A Lot Of Time On Things That Are Not Healthy.

Christian Community Is The Place Where We Keep The Flame Of Hope Alive Among Us And Take It Seriously So That It Can Grow And Become Stronger In Us.

[praying] Demands That You Take To The Road Again And Again, Leaving Your House And Looking Forward To A New Land For Yourself And Your [fellow Human]. This Is Why Praying Demands Poverty, That Is, The Readiness To Live A Life In Which You Have Nothing To Lose So That You Always Begin Afresh.

Compassion Asks Us To Go Where It Hurts, To Enter Into The Places Of Pain, To Share In Brokenness, Fear, Confusion, And Anguish. Compassion Challenges Us To Cry Out With Those In Misery, To Mourn With Those Who Are Lonely, To Weep With Those In Tears. Compassion Requires Us To Be Weak With The Weak, Vulnerable With The Vulnerable, And Powerless With The Powerless. Compassion Means Full Immersion In The Condition Of Being Human.

True Hospitality Is Welcoming The Stranger On Her Own Terms. This Kind Of Hospitality Can Only Be Offered By Those Who've Found The Center Of Their Lives In Their Own Hearts.

The Real Enemies Of Our Life Are The 'oughts' And The 'ifs.' They Pull Us Backward Into The Unalterable Past And Forward Into The Unpredictable Future. But Real Life Takes Place In The Here And Now.

As A General Remark, I Would Say We Must Move From The Moral To The Mystical Life.

Hospitality Means Primarily The Creation Of Free Space Where The Stranger Can Enter And Become A Friend Instead Of An Enemy. Hospitality Is Not To Change People, But To Offer Them Space Where Change Can Take Place. It Is Not To Bring Men And Women Over To Our Side, But To Offer Freedom Not Disturbed By Dividing Lines.

The Journey From Teaching About Love To Allowing Myself To Be Loved Proved Much Longer Than I Realised.

To Be Baptized Means To Make The Passage With The People Of Israel And With Jesus From Slavery To Freedom And From Death To New Life. It Is A Commitment To A Life In And Through Jesus.

One Of The Tragedies Of Our Life Is That We Keep Forgetting Who We Are

I Have An Increasing Sense That The Most Important Crisis Of Our Time Is Spiritual And That We Need Places Where People Can Grow Stronger In The Spirit And Be Able To Integrate The Emotional Struggles In Their Spiritual Journeys.

Prayer Requires That We Stand In God's Presence With Open Hands, Naked And Vulnerable, Proclaiming To Ourselves And To Others That Without God We Can Do Nothing. As Disciples, We Find Not Some But All Of Our Strength, Hope, Courage, And Confidence In God. Therefore, Prayer Must Be Our First Concern.

Perhaps Nothing Helps Us Make The Movement From Our Little Selves To A Larger World Than Remembering God In Gratitude. Such A Perspective Puts God In View In All Of Life, Not Just In The Moments We Set Aside For Worship Or Spiritual Disciplines. Not Just In The Moments When Life Seems Easy.

To Give Someone A Blessing Is The Most Significant Affirmation We Can Offer.

Think Of Each Wound As You Would Of A Child Who Has Been Hurt By A Friend. As Long As That Child Is Ranting And Raving, Trying To Get Back At The Friend, One Wound Leads To Another. But When The Child Can Experience The Consoling Embrace Of A Parent, She Or He Can Live Through The Pain, Return To The Friend, Forgive, And Build Up A New Relationship. Be Gentle With Yourself, And Let Your Heart Be Your Loving Parent As You Live Your Wounds Through.

To Live In The Present, We Must Deeply Believe That What Is Most Important Is In The Here And Now.

Live In The Present

Let Us Not Underestimate How Hard It Is To Be Compassionate. Compassion Is Hard Because It Requires The Inner Disposition To Go With Others To Place Where They Are Weak, Vulnerable, Lonely, And Broken. But This Is Not Our Spontaneous Response To Suffering. What We Desire Most Is To Do Away With Suffering By Fleeing From It Or Finding A Quick Cure For It.

People Have Filled An Enormously Important Role In My Life - More Than Books! For Me, It's Not The Formal Advising Or The Therapy That Meant So Much. It Was More The Fact That Someone Committed Himself Or Herself To Me. They Were Really Interested In My Life; They Wanted To Know What I Was Doing; They Followed Me; They Dared To Confront And Challenge Me.

O Lord, Make This Lenten Season Different From The Other Ones. Let Me Find You Again. Amen.

Ministers Are Powerless People Who Have Nothing To Boast Of Except Their Weaknesses. But When The Lord Whom They Serve Fills Them With His Blessing They Will Move Mountains And Change The Hearts Of People Wherever They Go.

I Always Try To Turn My Personal Struggles Into Something Helpful For Others.

Nuclear Man Is The Man Who Realizes That His Creative Powers Hold The Potential For Self-destruction. He Sees That In This Nuclear Age Vast New Industrial Complexes Enable Man To Produce In One Hour That Which He Labored Over For Years In The Past, But He Also Realizes That These Same Industries Have Disturbed The Ecological Balance And, Through Air And Noise Pollution, Have Contaminated His Own Milieu.

Friendship Has Always Belonged To The Core Of My Spiritual Journey.

Spiritual Journey

It Is In Solitude That We Discover That Being Is More Important Than Having And That We Are Worth More Than The Results Of Our Efforts. In Solitude We Discover That Our Life Is Not A Possession To Be Defended But A Gift To Be Shared.

When Suddenly You Seem To Lose All You Thought You Had Gained, Do Not Despair. You Must Expect Setbacks And Regressions. Don't Say To Yourself "all Is Lost. I Have To Start All Over Again." This Is Not True. What You Have Gained You Have Gained....when You Return To The The Road, You Return To The Place Where You Left It, Not To Where You Started.

God Is Your Safety And Your Home. You Are Well Embraced." Start Living The Multi-formity Of Life From This Place. If You Can Hold On To That, It All Becomes One.

One Of The Remarkable Qualities Of The Story Is That It Creates Space. We Can Dwell In A Story, Walk Around, Find Our Own Place. The Story Confronts But Does Not Oppress; The Story Inspires But Does Not Manipulate. The Story Invites Us To An Encounter, A Dialogue, A Mutual Sharing. As Long As We Have Stories To Tell To Each Other There Is Hope. As Long As We Can Remind Each Other Of The Lives Of Men And Women In Whom The Love Of God Becomes Manifest, There Is Reason To Move Forward To New Land In Which New Stories Are Hidden.

One Way To Express The Spiritual Crisis Of Our Time Is To Say That Most Of Us Have An Address But Cannot Be Found There.

Prayer Is First Of All Listening To God. It's Openness. God Is Always Speaking; He's Always Doing Something. Prayer Is To Enter Into That Activity... Convert Your Thoughts Into Prayer. As We Are Involved In Unceasing Thinking, So We Are Called To Unceasing Prayer. The Difference Is Not That Prayer Is Thinking About Other Things, But That Prayer Is Thinking In Dialogue,... A Conversation With God.

It Is Freeing To Become Aware That We Do Not Have To Be Victims Of Our Past And Can Learn New Ways Of Responding. Forgiveness Is Love Practiced Among People Who Love Poorly. It Sets Us Free Without Wanting Anything In Return.

There Are Areas I Have To Work On. I Had Some Questions And Some Struggles, But It Was An Enormously Important Time For Me.

The Leaders Of The Future Will Be Those Who Dare To Claim Their Irrelevance In The Contemporary World As A Divine Vocation.

My Writing Has Developed Drastically . The Return Of The Prodigal Son Is The Most Important Thing I've Done, And My Most Mature Book.

The Friend Who Can Be Silent With Us In A Moment Of Despair Or Confusion, Who Can Stay With Us In An Hour Of Grief And Bereavement, Who Can Tolerate Not Knowing, Not Curing, Not Healing...that Is A Friend Who Cares.

As Long As We Relate To The Trees, The Rivers, The Mountains, The Fields And The Oceans As Properties Which We Can Manipulate According To Our Real Or Fabricated Needs, Nature Remains Opaque, And Does Not Reveal To Us Its True Being.

I Don't Pray Enough, But I Pray More Now. Every Morning At Six O'clock Have A Half Hour Of Meditation Before The Blessed Sacrament. I Pray With Others Too.

Joy Is Hidden In Sorrow And Sorrow In Joy. If We Try To Avoid Sorrow At All Costs, We May Never Taste Joy, And If We Are Suspicious Of Ecstasy, Agony Can Never Reach Us Either. Joy And Sorrow Are The Parents Of Our Spiritual Growth.

I Feel The Problems I Have Are Meant To Purify Me.

In God's Eyes The Most Significant Is Often The Most Hidden.

Of One Thing I Am Sure. Complaining Is Self-perpetuating And Counterproductive. Whenever I Express My Complaints In The Hope Of Evoking Pity And Receiving The Satisfaction I So Much Desire, The Result Is Always The Opposite Of What I Tried To Get. A Complainer Is Hard To Live With, And Very Few People Know How To Respond To The Complaints Made By A Self-rejecting Person. The Tragedy Is That, Often, The Complaint, Once Expressed, Leads To That Which Is Most Feared: Further Rejection.

Forgiveness Changes The Way We Remember. It Converts The Curse Into A Blessing. Forgiveness Indeed Heals Memories . . .

In Solitude We Become Aware That Our Worth Is Not The Same As Our Usefulness.

The More We Touch The Intimate Love Of God Which Creates, Sustains, And Guides Us, The More We Recognize The Multitude Of Fruits That Come Forth From That Love.

Trust That The Treasure We Look For Is Hidden In The Ground On Which We Stand.

Dare To Love And To Be A Real Friend. The Love You Give And Receive Is A Reality That Will Lead You Closer And Closer To God As Well As Those Whom God Has Given You To Love.

If You Feel Loved, You Can Do A Thousand Things. If You Feel Rejected, Everything Becomes A Problem.

The Main Question Is Not, How Can We Hide Our Wounds...but How Can We Put Our Woundedness In Service To Others.

Service To Others

In Solitude We Become Aware That We Were Together Before We Came Together And That Life Is Not A Creation Of Our Will But Rather An Obedient Response To The Reality Of Our Being United.

Writing Is Not Just A Job. It Helps Me To Pray. It's A Way Of Being.

Community Is First Of All A Quality Of The Heart. It Grows From The Spiritual Knowledge That We Are Alive Not For Ourselves But For One Another.

Prayer Is The Breath Of Your Life Which Gives You The Freedom To Go And Stay Where You Wish And To Find The Many Signs Which Point Out The Way To A New Land.

The Discipline Of Gratitude Is The Explicit Effort To Acknowledge That All I Am And Have Is Given To Me As A Gift Of Love, A Gift To Be Celebrated With Joy.

Christian Life Is Not A Life Divided Between Times For Action And Times For Contemplation. No. Real Social Action Is A Way Of Contemplation, And Real Contemplation Is The Core Of Social Action.

When We Have Nothing To Cling To As Our Own And Cease Thinking Of Ourselves As People Who Must Defend Privileges, We Can Open Ourselves Freely To Others With The Faithful Expectation That Our Strength Will Manifest Itself In Our Shared Weakness.

If You Believe You Are The Beloved Of God, You Need To Spend Time Listening To His Voice - Period! You Can't Say, "yes God Calls Me The Beloved, But I Have To Go Out To Do Something Now."

Lord Jesus, Master Of Both The Light And The Darkness, Send Your Holy Spirit Upon Our Preparations For Christmas. We Whose Hearts Are Heavy Seek The Joy Of Your Presence. We Are Your People, Walking In Darkness, Yet Seeking The Light. To You We Say, 'come Lord Jesus!'

Today's Reading Was "if They Ask You To Walk A Mile, Walk Two. Don't Take An Eye For An Eye Or A Tooth For A Tooth." You Have Chances Every Second To Live This Word, But It Has To Be In You. It Can't Just Be An Idea; It Has To Sink From The Mind Into The Heart.

As Ministers Our Greatest Temptation Is Toward Too Many Words. They Weaken Our Faith And Make Us Lukewarm. But Silence Is A Sacred Discipline, A Guard Of The Holy Spirit.

Our Greatest Fulfillment Lies In Giving Ourselves To Others.

Joy Does Not Simply Happen To Us. We Have To Choose Joy And Keep Choosing It Every Day.

If You Want To Know Anything About Community, You Have To Realize That The Contemplative Side Is Essential. Community Without Retreating And Quiet Time Never Survives.

I've Had A Tremendous Problem With Depression In My Life. I'd Rather Not Talk About It, Because It's Over. But Depression Is Real.

Real Grief Is Not Healed By Time... If Time Does Anything, It Deepens Our Grief. The Longer We Live, The More Fully We Become Aware Of Who She Was For Us, And The More Intimately We Experience What Her Love Meant For Us. Real, Deep Love Is, As You Know, Very Unobtrusive, Seemingly Easy And Obvious, And So Present That We Take It For Granted. Therefore, It Is Only In Retrospect - Or Better, In Memory - That We Fully Realize Its Power And Depth. Yes, Indeed, Love Often Makes Itself Visible In Pain.

The Spiritual Life Is A Reaching Out To Our Innermost Self, To Our Fellow Human And To Our God.

Prayer Is Not One Of The Many Things The Community Does. Rather, It Is Its Very Beingbut When Prayer Is No Longer Its Primary Concern, And When Its Many Activities Are No Longer Seen And Experienced As Part Of Prayer Itself, The Community Quickly Degenerates Into A Club With A Common Cause But No Common Vocation.

As We Read Spiritually About Spiritual Things, We Open Our Hearts To God's Voice. Sometimes We Must Be Willing To Put Down The Book We Are Reading And Just Listen To What God Is Saying To Us Through Our Words.

When You Are Still Young And Not Yet Adult, You Want To Hold Everything In Your Own Hands, But If You Have Your Hands Open Toward Prayer, You Are Able To Stretch Out Your Arms And Let Yourself Be Led Without Knowing Where. You Know Only The Freedom Which God's Breath Has Brought You Will Lead To New Life, Even If The Cross Is The Only Sign Of It You Can See.

Hope Is Willing To Leave Unanswered Questions Unanswered And Unknown Futures Unknown. Hope Makes You See God's Guiding Hand Not Only In The Gentle And Pleasant Moments But Also In The Shadows Of Disappointment And Darkness.

Ministry In No Way Is A Privilege...it Is The Core Of The Christian Life. No Christian Is A Christian Without Being A Minister.

Jesus Was A Revolutionary, Who Did Not Become An Extremist, Since He Did Not Offer An Ideology, But Himself. He Was Also A Mystic, Who Did Not Use His Intimate Relationship With God To Avoid The Social Evils Of His Time, But Shocked His Milieu To The Point Of Being Executed As A Rebel. In This Sense He Also Remains For Nuclear Man The Way To Liberation And Freedom.

Intimate Relationships

I Have Always Felt That If I Am Very Personal And Connected With What I Myself Am Living, My Writing Will Transcend Ecclesial Boundaries.

So I Am Praying While Not Knowing How To Pray. I Am Resting While Feeling Restless, At Peace While Tempted, Safe While Still Anxious, Surrounded By A Cloud Of Light While Still In Darkness, In Love While Still Doubting.

Solitude Is The Furnace Of Transformation.

The Pain That Comes From Deep Love Makes Your Love More Fruitful. It Is Like A Plow That Breaks The Ground To Allow The Seed To Take Root.

The Only Feelings That Do Not Heal Are The Ones You Hide.

To The Degree That We Embrace The Truth That Our Identity Is Not Rooted In Our Success, Power, Or Popularity, But In God's Infinite Love, To That Degree Can We Let Go Of Our Need To Judge.

...marriage Is Foremost A Vocation. Two People Are Called Together To Fulfill A Mission That God Has Given Them. Marriage Is A Spiritual Reality. That Is To Say, A Man And A Woman Come Together For Life, Not Just Because They Experience Deep Love For Each Other, But Because They Believe That God Loves Each Of Them With An Infinite Love And Has Called Them To Each Other To Be Living Witnesses Of That Love. To Love Is To Embody God's Infinite Love In A Faithful Communion With Another Human Being.

I Wrote To My Bishop, The Archbishop Of Utrecht, Holland, And Explained That I Wanted Not Just Permission To Stay Longer, But A Mission. He Met Me At The Trosly L'arche Community And We Spent A Few Days Together . . . I Wanted Him To Get To Know L'arche, To Understand What I Was Doing There. Afterward He Said, "i Understand Now, Henri. You Have Found A Home For Your Self."

In Their Poverty, The Mentally Handicapped Reveal God To Us And Hold Us Close To The Gospel.

Mentally Handicapped

There Is Nothing So Important In The Family As The Sacred Quality Of The Meal.

That Is Our Vocation: To Convert The Enemy Into A Guest And To Create The Free And Fearless Space Where Brotherhood And Sisterhood Can Be Formed And Fully Experienced.

Joy Is The Experience Of Knowing That You Are Unconditionally Loved.

When I Trust Deeply That Today God Is Truly With Me And Holds Me Safe In A Divine Embrace, Guiding Every One Of My Steps I Can Let Go Of My Anxious Need To Know How Tomorrow Will Look, Or What Will Happen Next Month Or Next Year. I Can Be Fully Where I Am And Pay Attention To The Many Signs Of God's Love Within Me And Around Me.

Our Humanity Comes To Its Fullest Bloom In Giving. We Become Beautiful People When We Give Whatever We Can Give: A Smile, A Handshake, A Kiss, An Embrace, A Word Of Love, A Present, A Part Of Our Life...all Of Our Life.

I Am The Prodigal Son Every Time I Search For Unconditional Love Where It Cannot Be Found.

Unconditional Love

Self-rejection Is The Greatest Enemy Of The Spiritual Life Because It Contradicts The Sacred Voice That Calls Us The Beloved.

People Who Have Known The Joy Of God Point Each Other To Flashes Of Light Here And There, And Remind Each Other That They Reveal The Hidden But Real Presence Of God. They Discover That There Are People Who Heal Each Other's Wounds, Forgive Each Other's Offenses, Share Their Possessions, Foster The Spirit Of Community, Celebrate The Gifts They Have Received, And Live In Constant Anticipation Of The Full Manifestation Of God's Glory.

The People Who Most Affected Me Were The Ones Who Got Right In There With Me, Who Cried With Me, But Who Also Had A Certain Authority, Who Dared To Say What Needed Saying.

Indeed, When God's Glory Dwells In Me, There Is Nothing Too Far Away, Nothing Too Painful, Nothing Too Strange Or Too Familiar That It Cannot Contain And Renew By Its Touch. Every Time I Recognize The Glory Of God In Me And Give It Space To Manifest Itself To Me, All That Is Human Can Be Brought There And Nothing Will Be The Same Again.

If You Start With Community And Want To Be Faithful To Community, You Have To Realize That What Binds You Together Is Not Mutual Compatibility Or Common Tasks, But God. In Order To Stay In Touch With That Call To Community, We Always Have To Return To Solitude.

Ministry Means The Ongoing Attempt To Put One's Own Search For God, With All The Moments Of Pain And Joy, Despair And Hope, At The Disposal Of Those Who Want To Join This Search But Do Not Know How.

We Can Be Unhappy About Many Things, But Jy Can Still Be There... It Is Important To Become Aware That At Every Moment Of Our Life We Have An Opportunity To Choose Joy... It Is In The Choice That Our True Freedom Lies, And That Freedom Is, In The Final Analysis, The Freedom To Love.

Somehow, Somewhere, I Know That God Loves Me, Even Though I Do Not Feel That Love As I Can Feel A Human Embrace, Even Though I Do Not Hear A Voice As I Hear Human Words...god Is Greater Than My Senses, Greater Than My Thoughts, Greater Than My Heart. I Do Believe That He Touches Me In Places That Are Unknown Even To Myself.

Our First Responsibility In The Midst Of Violence Is To Prevent It From Destroying Us.

Silence Is A Very Concrete, Practical, And Useful Discipline In All Our Ministerial Tasks. It Can Be Seen As A Portable Cell Taken With Us From The Solitary Place Into The Midst Of Our Ministry. Silence Is Solitude Practiced In Action.

Each Individual Human Being Can Claim The Spirit Of Jesus As The Guiding Spirit Of His Or Her Life. In That Spirit We Can Speak And Act Freely And Confidently With The Knowledge That The Same Spirit That Inspired Jesus Is Inspiring Us.

Peace Is First Of All The Art Of Being.

Once We Deeply Trust That We Ourselves Are Precious In God's Eyes, We Are Able To Recognize The Preciousness Of Others And Their Unique Places In God's Heart.

I Have Found It Very Important In My Own Life To Try To Let Go Of My Wishes And Instead To Live In Hope. I Am Finding That When I Choose To Let Go Of My Sometimes Petty And Superficial Wishes And Trust That My Life Is Precious And Meaningful In The Eyes Of God Something Really New, Something Beyond My Own Expectations Begins To Happen For Me. (finding My Way Home)

Life Is Not A Possession To Be Defended, But A Gift To Be Shared.

It Is Good To Have A Prayer On Your Lips Wherever You Go. There Are So Many Moments In Life When You Are Free To Pray. When You Are Waiting For The Cashier In The Supermarket, Getting Mad Because He Or She Doesn't Hurry, Say A Little Prayer: 'lord, Jesus Christ, Have Mercy On Me.' Take That Prayer With You Wherever You Go.

Prayer Is First Of All Listening To God. It's Openness. God Is Always Speaking; He's Always Doing Something.

I Want My Work To Create Space Where People Can Meet God, Rather Than Give Them Something They Can "apply" To Their Daily Life.

The Most Important Thing I've Come To Believe In Is That People With Mental Handicaps Have A Unique Mission To Bring God's Blessing To The World.

Our Brokenness Has No Other Beauty But The Beauty That Comes From The Compassion That Surrounds It.

People Who Read Your Ideas Tend To Think That Your Writings Reflect Your Life.

When We Are Securely Rooted In Personal Intimacy With The Source Of Life, It Will Be Possible To Remain Flexible Without Being Relativistic, Convinced Without Being Rigid, Willing To Confront Without Being Offensive, Gentle And Forgiving Without Being Soft, And True Witnesses Without Being Manipulative.

Solitude Begins With A Time And Place For God, And Him Alone. If We Really Believe Not Only That God Exists But Also That He Is Actively Present In Our Lives—healing, Teaching, And Guiding — We Need To Set Aside A Time And Space To Give Him Our Undivided Attention.

Teaching, Therefore, Asks First Of All The Creation Of A Space Where Students And Teachers Can Enter Into A Fearless Communication With Each Other And Allow Their Respective Life Experiences To Be Their Primary And Most Valuable Source Of Growth And Maturation. It Asks For A Mutual Trust In Which Those Who Teach And Those Who Want To Learn Can Become Present To Each Other, Not As Opponents, But As Those Who Share In The Same Struggle And Search For The Same Truth.

The Gospel Word Of The Day Can Become Like A Painting On The Walls. Of Your Inner Room, The Inner Room That Is Your Heart.

One Of The Most Beautiful Ways For Spiritual Formation To Take Place Is To Let Your Insecurity Lead You Closer To The Lord. Natural Hypersensitivity Can Become An Asset; It Makes You Aware Of Your Need To Be With People And It Allows You To Be More Willing To Look At Their Needs.

Patience Asks Us To Live The Moment To The Fullest, To Be Completely Present To The Moment, To Taste The Here And Now, To Be Where We Are.

Live In The Moment

How Do You Pray? Take The Gospel Of Each Day And Spend Ten Minutes With It. Read It, And Read It Again. Walk Into The World With The Gospel In Your Heart.

Once You Are In Communion With God, You Have The Eyes To See And The Ears To Hear Other People In Whom God Has Also Found A Dwelling Place.

Solitude Is The Place Where We Can Connect With Profound Bonds That Are Deeper Than The Emergency Bonds Of Fear And Anger.

Do Not Hesitate To Love And To Love Deeply.

Community Life Is Not Easy For Somebody Like Me, Who Is Used To Living By Himself And Doing What He Wants. It's A Demanding Life, And You Quickly Get In Touch With Your Own Handicaps And Weaknesses.

The Difference Between Rich And Poor Is Not That The Rich Sin Is More Than The Poor, That The Rich Find It Easier To Call Sin A Virtue.

Through Compassion It Is Possible To Recognize That The Craving For Love That People Feel Resides Also In Our Own Hearts, That The Cruelty The World Knows All Too Well Is Also Rooted In Our Own Impulses. Through Compassion We Also Sense Our Hope For Forgiveness In Our Friends' Eyes And Our Hatred In Their Bitter Mouths. When They Kill, We Know That We Could Have Done It; When They Give Life, We Know That We Can Do The Same. For A Compassionate Person Nothing Human Is Alien: No Joy And No Sorrow, No Way Of Living And No Way Of Dying.

Prayer Is The Way To Both The Heart Of God And The Heart Of The World - Precisely Because They Have Been Joined Through The Suffering Of Jesus Christ Praying Is Letting One's Own Heart Become The Place Where The Tears Of God's Children Merge And Become Tears Of Hope.

Dear God, I Am So Afraid To Open My Clenched Fists! Who Will I Be When I Have Nothing Left To Hold On To? Who Will I Be When I Stand Before You With Empty Hands? Please Help Me To Gradually Open My Hands And To Discover That I Am Not What I Own, But What You Want To Give Me.

Fundraising Is A Very Rich And Beautiful Activity. It Is A Confident, Joyful And Hope-filled Expression Of Ministry. In Ministering To Each Other, Each From The Riches That He Or She Possesses, We Work Together For The Full Coming Of God's Kingdom.

What Is Hope?hope Is That Inner Dynamic That Compels Us To Explore And Pursue The Expectations Built Into The Human Condition. Hope Was Born The Day The First Human Beings Discovered The First Bridge And Decided Not To Jump Off The Bridge In Despair, But To Cross It

...the Word That Seems Best To Summarize The Desire Of The Human Heart Is 'communion.' ...wherever We Look It Is Communion That We Seek.

When I Could No Longer Cling To My Normal Supports I Discovered That True Support And Real Safety Lie Far Beyond The Structures Of Our World.

The Christian Leader Of The Future Is Called To Be Completely Irrelevant And To Stand In This World With Nothing To Offer But His Or Her Own Vulnerable Self. God Loves Us, Not Because Of What We Do Or Accomplish, But Because God Has Created And Redeemed Us In Love.

Joy Does Not Simply Happen To Us. We Have To Choose Joy And Keep Choosing It Every Day. It Is A Choice Based On The Knowledge That We Belong To God And Have Found In God Our Refuge And Our Safety And That Nothing, Not Even Death, Can Take God Away From Us.

Obviously A Child Can Never Conceive Solitude If His Parents Aren't Living It Somewhere Themselves. I Don't Mean That To Be Alone You Have To Get Down On Your Knees For An Hour In A Yoga Posture.

Life Is Just A Little Opportunity For You During A Few Years To Say, "i Love You, Too."

Living In A Community With Very Wounded People, I Came To See That I Had Lived Most Of My Life As A Tightrope Artist Trying To Walk On A High, Thin Cable From One Tower To The Other, Always Waiting For The Applause When I Had Not Fallen Off And Broken My Leg.

Hospitality Is Not To Change People, But To Offer Them Space Where Change Can Take Place.

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