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Reading A Book, For Me At Least, Is Like Traveling In Someone Else's World. If It's A Good Book, Then You Feel Comfortable And Yet Anxious To See What's Going To Happen To You There, What'll Be Around The Next Corner. But If It's A Lousy Book, Then It's Like Going Through Secaucus, New Jersey -- It Smells And You Wish You Weren't There, But Since You've Started The Trip, You Roll Up The Windows And Breathe Through Your Mouth Until You're Done.

-Jonathan Carroll

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Reading A Book, For

Jonathan Carroll

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Reading A Book, For Me At Least, Is Like Traveling In Someone Else's World. If It's A Good Book, Then You Feel Comfortable And Yet Anxious To See What's Going To Happen To You There, What'll Be Around The Next Corner. But If It's A Lousy Book, Then It's Like Going Through Secaucus, New Jersey -- It Smells And You Wish You Weren't There, But Since You've Started The Trip, You Roll Up The Windows And Breathe Through Your Mouth Until You're Done.

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Writing A Short Story Is Like Having A Short Intense Affair, Whereas Writing A Novel Is Like A Long Rich Marriage.

The Keys That Unlock The Heart Are Made Of Funny Materials: A Disarming Phrase That Comes Out Of The Blue, Nowhere, A Certain Sexy Walk That Sends You Reeling, The Way Someone Hums When She Is Alone. My Father Said It Was The Way My Mother Danced With Him.

Yo Can Always Take Back The Lost Parts Of Yourself If You Can Find And Recognize Them.

Women Are Always Complaining About Men's Fascination With Breasts. But What If Men Were Absolutely Indifferent To Breasts? What Would Women Do Then With These Things That Serve One Function Once Or Twice In A Lifetime, And The Rest Of The Time Are Just In The Way?

There Are People We Meet In Life Who Miss Being Important To Us By Inches, Days, Or Heartbeats. Another Place Or Time Or A Different Emotional Frame Of Mind And We Would Willingly Fall Into Their Arms; Gladly Take Up Their Challenge Or Invitation. But As It Is, We Encounter Them When We Are Discontent Or Content And They Are Not. Whatever They Are, We Are Not And Vice Versa. Two Trains Going In Different Directions That Pass For A Few Powerful Moments At Full Speed, Blasting Noise And Wind But Then They Are Gone. Whatever Serious Chemistry Might Have Been Possible If, Isn’t.

Time Talks Behind Our Back. To Our Face It's Friendly And Logical, Never Hesitating To Give More Of Itself. But When We're Not Looking, It Steals Our Lives And Says Bad Things About Us To The Parts Of Us It's Stolen

Most Men, No Matter How Well Or Badly Dressed, Carry Overstuffed, Beat Up Wallets That Should Have Been Replaced Years Ago. Why Is That? Every Time I See A Guy Take Out A Wallet Anywhere, It Looks Like A Piece Of Old Melted Chocolate Cake-with Strings.

For An Adult, Eating Alone At Mcdonald's Is Admitting A Kind Of Defeat.

Everyone Coming Out Of A Perfume Store Is Smelling The Back Of Their Hand.

The Only Question That Nobody Ever Asks Is: What Breaks Your Heart? I Think That Should Be Asked Of All "artists."... So, What Breaks Your Heart?

I Started A Short Story But It Was So Dreary That Even My Pen Threw Up.

Kids Own Nothing. Everything Is Either Promised, Borrowed, Longed For Or Exaggerated.

Fear's Greatest Weapon Is Its Ability To Blind One To Anything. In Its Presence, We Forget There Are Others To Consider, Things To Save Besides Ourselves.

I Forgive Nothing. If You Stole My Orange Crayon In The Fifth Grade, You're Still On My Hit List, Buddy.

Old People Are Often Impatient, But For What?

At The End Of Their Relationship She Asked If They Could Still Remain Friends. His Face Stayed Expressionless Until He Said "no. Because We Put Friends In Boxes. You See Them Once In A While, Or Even A Lot, But Still They Have Their Box In Your Life, Their Specific Place. Their *category.* That's One Of The Great Things About Being Someone's Love-- You Have No Box In Their Life Because You're Part Of All Their Boxes. You're Their Friend, Their Lover, Their Confidante-- All Those Things. I Don't Want To Be Put In One Of Your Boxes And I Don't Want To Shrink You To Fit Into One Of Mine.

Even The Handsomest Men Do Not Have The Same Momentary Effect On The World As A Truly Beautiful Woman Does.

Your Boyfriend Had A Dream About Potatoes And You're Asking Me To Interpret It? I'm Just Old. Being Old Doesn't Mean You Know More; It Means You Ate Enough Fiber.

May This House Stand Until An Ant Drinks The Ocean And A Tortoise Circles The World.

I Find You Write With One Person In Mind. Usually For Me That One Person Is My Wife, Because She's My Most Severe Critic And Understands Best What I'm Trying To Do.

Although Our Emotions Sometimes Behave Like Spoiled, Selfish Children, Unfortunately We Cannot Send Them To Their Room Or Tell Them To Stop Screaming.

Both Young Children And Old People Have A Lot Of Time On Their Hands. That's Probably Why They Get Along So Well.

You Have To Walk Carefully In The Beginning Of Love; The Running Across Fields Into Your Lover's Arms Can Only Come Later When You're Sure They Won't Laugh If You Trip.

Salzburg... Is A Mountain Town With A Rushing River Running Right Through The Center, Everything In The Rain Various Shades Of Green And Brown.

One Of The Saddest Realities Is That We Never Know When Our Lives Are At Their Peak. Only After It Is Over And We Have Some Kind Of Perspective Do We Realize How Good We Had It A Day, A Month, Five Years Ago.

Sometimes You Have To Give Up On People. Not Because You Don't Care, But Because They Don't.

If You Are Very Lucky, You're Allowed To Be In Certain Places During Just The Right Season Of Your Life: By The Sea For The Summer When You're Seven Or Eight And Full Of The Absolute Need To Swim Until Dark And Exhaustion Close Their Hands Together, Cupping You In Between.

The Only Two Important Things In Life Are Real Love And Being At Peace With Yourself.

The Fact That I’m Silent Doesn’t Mean I Have Nothing To Say.

My Memory Loves You… It Asks About You All The Time.

Real Love Is Always Chaotic. You Lose Control; You Lose Perspective. You Lose The Ability To Protect Yourself. The Greater The Love, The Greater The Chaos. It’s A Given And That’s The Secret.

When I Was In College, I Was The Editor Of The Literary Magazine And Insisted Neither The Editors Nor The Writers Be Specifically Identified-only Our Student Numbers Appeared On The Title Page. I Love That Idea And Still Do.

Far More Disturbing Than Any Spook House At An Amusement Park Is A Ride Through The Old Hometown If You've Been Away For Years.

Why Do People Always Gesture With Their Hands When They Talk On The Phone?

Dogs Are Minor Angels, And I Don't Mean That Facetiously. They Love Unconditionally , Forgive Immediately, Are The Truest Of Friends, Willing To Do Anything That Makes Us Happy

Some People Are Like Blue Jeans- The Older And More Beat Up They Get, The Better They Look.

Learn To Wait; Invariably Either Things Will Change Or Your Heart Will.

Just Write About What Bites You And Damn The Rest.

The First Great Real Intimacy Between Two People Begins When Secrets Are Told.

I Write About What Interests Me. It's Very Dangerous When You Try To Satisfy An Audience.

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People Are Always Waiting To Be Discovered.

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Reading A Book, For Me At Least, Is Like Traveling In Someone Else's World. If It's A Good Book, Then You Feel Comfortable And Yet Anxious To See What's Going To Happen To You There, What'll Be Around The Next Corner. But If It's A Lousy Book, Then It's Like Going Through Secaucus, New Jersey -- It Smells And You Wish You Weren't There, But Since You've Started The Trip, You Roll Up The Windows And Breathe Through Your Mouth Until You're Done.

Everything You Want In Life Has Teeth.

How Easily We Ignore Or Forget The Small Kindnesses And Considerations In Life Which Are Really The Only Everyday Magic We Witness On A Regular Basis. Just Think- To Make Happiness Out Of Nothing More Than A Few Kind Words Or A Generous Gesture.

Dogs Are Here To Remind Us Life Really Is A Simple Thing. You Eat, Sleep, Take Walks, And Pee When You Must. That's About All There Is. They Are Quick To Forgive Trespasses And Assume Strangers Will Be Kind.

It Took Me Less Than Half A Lifetime To Realize That Regret Is One Of The Few Guaranteed Certainties. Sooner Or Later Everything Is Touched By It, Despite Our Naive And Senseless Hope That Just This Time We Will Be Spared Its Cold Hand On Our Heart.

I Read Less Of Everything Now. With Only Fond Memories Of Others' Work, It Will Be Interesting To Give My Own Journal Writing A Try Now.

If I Don't Feel Like Writing Today Or For A Few Days, I Don't. And I Don't Think About It. It Is Not An Obligation-it Is The Greatest Privilege.

Lying Is Too Much Trouble. You Have To Make Sure To Taste Each Word Before Letting It Off Your Tongue. I Hate That. It's Hard Enough Making People Understand Without Lying.

There's Almost Always A Point In A Book Where Something Happens That Triggers The Rest Of The Plot.

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Krakow Is One Of My Favorite Places On Earth. It Is A Medieval City Full Of Young People. A Wonderful, Striking Combination.

Favorite Places

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When You Love Someone

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Buying A Pair Of Shoes Is One Of The Most Optimistic Acts I Know, Next To Falling In Love. I Like Nothing Better Than To See An Old Man Wearing A Brand New Pair Of Brogues Or Cap-toed Oxfords, Preferably Jaunty Orange-brown, Unscuffed, Heels Unworn. We Want To Be Here Tomorrow, But Buying New Shoes, Like Falling In Love, Says I Plan On Being Here Tomorrow.

Falling In Love

You Know People Don't Get Better As We Get Older- We Just Get More Of Who We Are.

I Would Have Given Him Everything. I Would Have Pulled Down Planets To Make Our Life Work.

Its Easy To Lose Sight Of What You Want When You Think You Want Everything.

I Feel Like A Cliche.

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If It Was As Logical As That, I Wouldn't Continue To Feel As Bad As I Do. I Know What You're Saying, And You're Absolutely Right In A Way. But Logic And Rationality Only Go So Far. Then You Know What Happens? Ha! Then Your Heart Adds Its Two Cents And Everything Reasonable Goes Right-out-the-window.

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The Angel Said, "i Like Black-and-white Films More Than Color Because They're More Artificial. You Have To Work Harder To Overcome Your Disbelief. It's Sort Of Like Prayer.

Black And White

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Fear Pounds On The Door To Our Heart Demanding To Be Let In. Joy Is Modest And Often Comes Into Our Lives Like A Shy Person Entering A Room; It Can Take A While To Even Notice It's There.

I Don't Like To Have To Pan For Gold When I Read.

The Future Is Fastidious And Punctual. It Keeps Perfect Time And Arrives Everywhere On The Dot. In Contrast, Its Slacker Brother The Past Has No Use For Clocks Or Appointments. It Comes And Goes As It Pleases In Our Memory, Camping Out Wherever The Hell It Damn Well Wants To In There. Untrustworthy, Prone To Exaggeration, Biased- You Wouldn't Lend It Ten Cents, But It *sure* Can Be Charming And Seductive When It Feels Like It.

Most Men Think They Are Good Drivers. Most Women Think They Are Good In Bed. They Aren't.

At A Boston Signing, Someone From The Audience Asked Why I Was So Obsessed With Furniture In My Books. The Question Rattled Around In My Head. I Had No Idea That I Was Obsessed With Furniture.

Eating Is Sex For Old People.

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