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Pastoralia By George Saunders. Possibly My Favorite Book. Its One Of The Weirdest Books Ive Ever Read. If Monty Python And Thomas Pynchon Had A Love Child, And It Was Raised By Frank Zappa On A Weird Commune, That Would Be This Book.

-Libba Bray

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Pastoralia By George Saunders.

Libba Bray

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Pastoralia By George Saunders. Possibly My Favorite Book. Its One Of The Weirdest Books Ive Ever Read. If Monty Python And Thomas Pynchon Had A Love Child, And It Was Raised By Frank Zappa On A Weird Commune, That Would Be This Book.

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Dead Bodies Are Such Trouble,” Evie Said With A Little Sigh, And Mabel Had To Turn Her Head Away So As Not To Laugh.

Because There's Nothing Wrong With You... That Can't Be Fixed.

Murder Mysteries

You Can Never Know About About Your Own Destiny: Are The People You Meet There To Play A Part On Your Oun Destiny, Or Do You Exist Just To Play A Role In Theirs?

Wow, You're Awesome And The Universe Loves A Winner, So The Universe Must Really Love You!

The Dark Does Not Weep For Itself Because There Is No Light. Rather, It Accepts That It Is The Dark.

Centuries Of Fighting, And For What? I Say. "today It Ends. I Can't Live In Fear Any Longer. I've Cursed This Power. I've Both Enjoyed And Misused It. And I've Hidden It Away. Now I Must Try To Wield It Correctly, To Marry It To A Purpose And Hope That Is Enough.

Evie Was So Nervous That She Downed Her Cocktail In Two Stiff Swigs, Then Refilled Her Glass. Henry Arched An Eyebrow. “a Pro, I See.” “what Else Is There To Do In Ohio?

I Can Be Whatever. You Can Be Whatever. We Can Be Whatever. Whatever, Together.

My Dad Was A Presbyterian Minister. Yes, I Am One Of Those Dreaded P.k.s - Preachers Kids. Be Afraid.

The Sun Has Blessed You," Sarita Used To Say. "look How He Has Left His Kisses On Your Face For All To See And Be Jealous." "the Sun Loves You More," I Said, Rubbing My Hands Over Her Dry Arms, The Color Of An Aged Wine Gourd, And She Laughed. But This Is Not India And We Are Not Prized For Our Freckles Here. The Sun Is Not Allowed To Show His Love.

Hot Off The Presses, Today’s Headlines: The Love Of Your Life Does Not Approve Of My Wanton Flapper Ways,” Evie Said In A Voice Of Affected Mystery. “really, Mabesie. You Might Want To Reconsider—he Is A Bit Of A Killjoy.

What Took You So Long?” Will Asked When Evie Came Panting Into The Room. He And Jericho Had Assembled A Stack Of Books, Which They Were Tucking Into Will’s Attaché Case. “i Walked To Jerusalem For The Bible. I Knew You’d Want An Original,” Evie Snapped.

I Had A Friend Who Said, "you Don't Have An Internal Critic. You Have An Internal Sadist."

She Holds Up A Finger. "i'm Getting To It. Don't Rush A Girl In The Middle Of Her Exposition.

Taylor Clapped Three Times For Attention. "ladies! Ladies! My Stars! That's Enough. Now. We All Know Miss Arkansas's Girls Are Fake, Miss Ohio's Easier Than Making Cereal, And Miss Montana's Dress Is Something My Blind Meemaw Would Wear To Bingo Night." - "beauty Queens

The Uncertainty Of Our Future Is Nothing More Than A Fog Of Breath On A Windowpane.

I Am A Jumble Of Passions, Misgivings, And Wants. It Seems That I Am Always In A State Of Wishing And Rarely In A State Of Contentment.

Jericho Lay Back Down On His Side, Watching Her Breathe Just An Arm's Length From Him. She Was Not Beautiful While She Slept; Her Mouth Hung Open And She Snored Very Lightly, And This, Despite Everything That Had Happened, Made Him Smile.

Felicity Ignores Us. She Walks Out To Them, An Apparition In White And Blue Velvet, Her Head Held High As They Stare In Awe At Her, The Goddess. I Don't Know Yet What Power Feels Like. But This Is Surely What It Looks Like, And I Think I'm Beginning To Understand Why Those Ancient Women Had To Hide In Caves. Why Our Parents And Suitors Want Us To Behave Properly And Predictably. It's Not That They Want To Protect Us; It's That They Fear Us.

You Are Working Up To Mr. Fantastic Fiction Levels Of Zombie Expert, Which Is Like Playing Guitar Hero On Some Level That Actually Melts The Guitar Controller, Burning Your Fingers With Searing Hot Plastic Till You Scream In Pain. Only With Words. And Zombies.

Does My New Feminism Make Me Look Fat?

There Are No Wrong Decisions ― Only Different Ones.

Agent Jones Switched To The Big Screen And A Grainy Video Of Momo Sitting At His Enormous Desk, A Swivel-hipped Elvis Clock Ticking Behind His Bewigged Head. 'death To The Capitalist Pigs! Death To Your Cinnamon Bun-smelling Malls! Death To Your Power Walking And Automatic Car Windows And I'm With Stupid T-shirts! The Republic Of Chacha Will Never Bend To Your Side-of-fries -drive -through-please-oh-would-you-like-ketchup-with-that Corruption! Momo B. Chacha Defies You And All You Stand For, And One Day, You Will Crumble Into The Sea And We Will Pick Up The Pieces And Make Them Into Sand Art.

It Is Funny How You Do Not Miss Affection Until It Is Given, But Once It Is, It Can Never Be Enough; You Would Drown In It If Possible.

I Hate This Place,” Tiara Whimpered. “it’s Super Creepy. Like A Haunted Chuck E. Cheese’s Where The Games All Want To Kill You And You Never Get Your Pizza.

We Create The Illusions We Need To Go On. And One Day, When They No Longer Dazzle Or Comfort, We Tear Them Down, Brick By Glittering Brick, Until We Are Left With Nothing But The Bright Light Of Honesty. The Light Is Liberating. Necessary. Terrifying. We Stand Naked And Emptied Before It. And When It Is Too Much For Our Eyes To Take, We Build A New Illusion To Shield Us From Its Relentless Truth.

Theta Crashed Next To Them On The Thick Zebra-skin Rug. “i’m Embalmed.” “potted And Splificated?” “ossified To The Gills. Time For Night-night.

I Think About Dying Every Day, Because I Can't Stop Thinking About Living.

I’m From The Health Department. You’ve Heard Of Typhoid Mary? This Fella’s Got Enough Typhoid To Start His Own Colony.

We Don't Look At Each Other Anymore. Not Really. Not Since I Pulled Him From That Opium Den. Now When I Look At Him, I See The Addict. And When He Looks At Me, He Sees What He Would Rather Not Remember. I Wish I Could Be His Adored Little Girl Again, Sitting At His Side.

Evie Didn’t Mind Yelling, But She Hated Feeling Judged. It Got Under Her Skin And Made Her Feel Small And Ugly And Unfixable.

Meraa Mitra Yahaan Aaiye," He Murmurs. I Understand Only A Little Hindi, Enough To Know What He Has Said: Come Here, My Friend. I've Never Known A Braver Girl," He Says.

A Place To Keep All Your Secrets

They Misspelled 'party.' How Evil Genius Can They Be?

I'm Sorry,' He Says Simply. 'people Make Mistakes, Gemma. We Take The Wrong Action For The Right Reasons, And The Right Action For The Wrong Reasons.

My Personal Motto Is: Wwwwd?: What Would Wonder Woman Do?

But Aren't Many Gardens Beautiful Because They Are Imperfect?...aren't The Strange, New Flowers That Arise By Mistake Or Misadventure As Pleasing As The Well-tended And Planned?

The Hand You Hold The Longest Is Your Own.

There Are No Safe Choices. Only Other Choices.

She Was Tired Of Being Told How It Was By This Generation, Who’d Botched Things So Badly. They’d Sold Their Children A Pack Of Lies: God And Country. Love Your Parents. All Is Fair. And Then They’d Sent Those Boys, Her Brother, Off To Fight A Great Monster Of A War That Maimed And Killed And Destroyed Whatever Was Inside Them. Still They Lied, Expecting Her To Mouth The Words And Play Along. Well, She Wouldn’t. She Knew Now That The World Was A Long Way From Fair. She Knew The Monsters Were Real.

...dreams Were Dreams And Reality Was Reality And She Felt People Were Better Off Understanding The Difference.

This Is How The Fire Starts. This Is How We Burn.

The Vicar, Whose Name Is Reverend Waite, Leads Us In Prayers That All Begin With 'o Lord' And End With Our Somehow Not Being Worthy-sinners Who Have Always Been Sinners And Will Forever More Be Sinners Until We Die. It Isn't The Most Optimistic Outlook I've Ever Heard But We're Encouraged To Keep Trying Anyway.

Who The Heck Is Don Quick-oats?

Memphis—it’s Just A Bird. Birds Fly Around, Brother. It’s What They Do. It’s Not Following You, And It’s Not A Sign. Unless You Really Did Give It Candy And Flowers, In Which Case You Are One Strange Brother.

The Desperation Meeting The Silence With Its Unmasked Wish.

Gemma, You See How It Is. They've Planned Our Entire Lives, From What We Shall Wear To Whom We Shall Marry And Where We Shall Live. It's One Lump Of Sugar In Your Tea Whether You Like It Or Not And You'd Best Smile Even If You're Dying Deep Inside. We're Like Pretty Horses, And Just As On Horses, They Mean To Put Blinders On Us So We Can't Look Left Or Right But Only Straight Ahead Where They Would Lead. Please, Please, Please, Gemma, Let's Not Die Inside Before We Have To.

Women Who Have Power Are Always Feared.

I've Never Done Acid, Finding It Hard To Go Willingly To A Place That Could Be Frightening, Hellish, And Totally Beyond My Control. A Place Much Like High School.

The World Is Only As Fair As You Can Make It. Takes A Lot Of Fight. A Lot Of Fight. But If You Stay In Here, In Your Little Cave, That's One Less Fighter On The Side Of Fair.

Taylor Clapped For Attention. “miss New Mexico, Let’s Not Get All Down In The Bummer Basement Where The Creepy Things Live. There Are People In Heathen China Who Don’t Even Have Airline Trays. We Have A Lot To Be Grateful For.

I Have Done What They Expected Of Me. I Have Curtsied For My Queen And Made My Debut. This Is What I Have Anticipated Eagerly For Years. So Why Do I Feel So Unsatisfied? Everyone Is Merry. They Haven't A Care In The World. And Perhaps That Is It. How Terrible It Is To Have No Cares, No Longings. I Do Not Fit. I Feel Too Deeply And Want Too Much.

She Wished She Were As Inconsequential As The Ghosts In Her Dreams.

Inconsequential

Everyone's Dying. A Little, Every Day. Make It Count.

We All Walk In A Land Of Dreams. For What Are We But Atoms And Hope, A Handful Of Stardust And Sinew? We Are Weary Travelers Trying To Find Our Way Home On A Road That Never Ends. Am I A Part Of Your Dream? Or Are You But A Part Of Mine?

Maybe That's What Real Friendship Is -- Getting So Used To People That You Need To Be Annoyed By Them.

Think: Who Has Vans, Huh? Soccer Moms And Serial Killers.

Petra Turned To Her. "everybody Lies About Who They Are. Name One Person Here Who Isn't Doing That And I Will Drop Out Right Now!" Shanti Felt That Snake Of Truth Coil Around Her Legs, Threatening To Squeeze. "i Didn't Mean..." "no One Ever Does." Petra Said, Shoving The Baton Back At Shanti.

When I Dream, I Dream Of Him. For Several Nights Now He’s Come To Me, Waving From A Distant Shore As If He’s Been Waiting Patiently For Me To Arrive. He Doesn’t Utter A Word, But His Smile Says Everything: I’ve Missed You.

I'm Just Saying It's Not All Sand Castles And Ninjas.

On Tv, Talking Heads Wrung Their Hands Over A Lack Of Traditional Feminine Values And Wondered If Girls’ Sports Were To Blame. Then They Cut To A Commercial Featuring A Sexy College Coed Vacuuming Her Dorm Room In Her Underwear.

Yes, Go On. Leave. You're Always Coming And Going. The Rest Of Us Are Stuck Here. Do You Think He'd Still Love You If He Knew Who You Are? He Doesn't Really Care—only When It Suits Him.

It Occurs To Me That Cricket Is Not The True Sport In London - Gossip Is.

I Am Starting A Collection Of Only Right-hand Gloves. It’s Ever So Bourgeois To Have Two.

Naughty John, Naughty John, Does His Work With His Apron On. Cuts Your Throat And Takes Your Bones, Sells 'em Off For A Coupla Stones.

The Dull Pain Of Truth Weights My Soul, Pulling It Under. I Am Left Hopelessly Awake.

As A Kid, I Imagined Lots Of Different Scenarios For My Life. I Would Be An Astronaut. Maybe A Cartoonist. A Famous Explorer Or Rock Star. Never Once Did I See Myself Standing Under The Window Of A House Belonging To Some Druggie Named Carbine, Waiting For His Yard Gnome To Steal His Stash So I Could Get A Cab Back To A Cheap Motel Where My Friend, A Neurotic, Death-obsessed Dwarf, Was Waiting For Me So We Could Get On The Road To An Undefined Place And A Mysterious Dr. X, Who Would Cure Me Of Mad Cow Disease And Stop A Band Of Dark Energy From Destroying The Universe.

Everyone Seems To Want More Form Me. I Am A Thoroughly Disappointing Girl Around. I Shall Wear A Scarlet 'd' Upon My Bosom For All To See So That They Will Know Not To Raise Their Expectations.

Can We Really Conquer Chaos So Easily? If That Were So, I Should Be Able To Prune The Pandemonium Of My Own Soul Into Something Neat And Tidy Rather Than This Maze Of Wants And Needs And Misgivings That Has Me Forever Feeling As If I Cannot Fit Into The Landscape Of Things.

In Each Of Us Lie Good And Bad, Light And Dark, Art And Pain, Choice And Regret, Cruelty And Sacrifice... No One Can Live In The Light All The Time.

Retribution Is A Dog Chasing Its Tail.

Gonzo Narrows His Eyes. 'how Often Do You Clean That Thing?' 'every Night,' The Waitress Answers. Her Smile Is Strained. 'that's It? Do You Know How Long It Takes For Listeria To Grow Under Those Hot Lamps, Even With Ice?' Here We Go. 'it Can Happen In Just Five Hours. Five Hours And You've Got The Salad Bar Of Death!' The Waitress Looks Confused. 'from Listerine?

It's Only His Thumb Brushing Slowly Across The Lower Edge Of My Lip, But It's As If Time Slows And The Sweep Of That Thumb Below My Mouth Takes Forever. It Is No Spell That I Know Of, But It Holds Such Magic, I Can Scarcely Breath. He Pulls His Hand Away Fast, Aware Of What He's Done. But His Touch Lingers.

Or Perhaps It Is Some Combination Of Spirit And Desire, Love And Hope, Some Alchemy That We Each Possess And Can Put To Use, If We First Know Where To Look Without Flinching.

I Invited Myself. Thought This Table Needed Some Class.

Beggin' Your Pardon, Miss, But I Was Told You Be The One To Help Me Cross On To The Next World." "who Told You This?" His Eyes Widen. "a Fearsome Creature With A Head Full Of Snakes!" "you Musn't Fear Her," I Say, Taking The Man's Hand And Leading His Toward The River. "she's As Tame As A Pussycat. She'd Probably Lick Your Hand Given The Chance." "didn't Seem Harmless," He Whispers, Shuddering. "yes, Well, Things Are Not Always As They Appear, Sir, And We Must Learn To Judge For Ourselves.

How Do You Invent A Religion?” Evie Asked. Will Looked Over The Top Of His Spectacles. “you Say, ‘god Told Me The Following,’ And Then Wait For People To Sign Up.

Learn To Master Yourself-to Understand Both Your Fears And Your Desires. That's The Key To Magic. Then, No One Shall Have Any Hold Over You. Remember... The Magic (sic)... Is A Living Thing, Joined To Whomever It Touches And Changed By Them As Well... You Must Come To Know Everything-even Your Darkest Corners. Especially Those...everything Has Its Price.

I Can See His Pain, See It In The Way He Runs His Fingers Through His Hair, Over And Over, And I Understand What It Costs Him To Hide It All.

He Smiles Sadly. "now I Know My Destiny." "what Is It?" "this." He Draws Me In To Him In A Kiss. His Lips Are Warm. He Pulls Me Tighter In His Embrace. The Roots Sigh And Release Their Hold On My Waist And The Wound In My Side Is Healed. "kartik," I Cry, Kissing His Cheeks. "it's Let Me Go." "that's Good," He Says. He Makes A Small Cry. His Back Arches, And Every Muscle In His Body Tightens.

There's A Lot About Discovering Who You Are And How Difficult That Is. And It Never Stops.

Discovering Who You Are

There’s A Moment Of Profound Sadness That Can Be Dispelled Only By Summoning My Anger.

You're Quite Tall.' Just What A Girl Wants To Be Reminded Of.

Dude, This Is A Stoner Conversation And We're Not Even High

What Did I Do To Make Mommy Leave?” “you Didn’t Do Anything. This Isn’t Your Fault.” “then Why?” She’d Wailed. “i Don’t Know,” Her Daddy Had Said, And He Looked So Sad. “it Isn’t Fair!” “no, It Isn’t, Baby. Not By A Mile. The World’s Only As Fair As You Can Make It. Takes A Lot Of Fight. A Lot Of Fight. But If You Stay In Here, In Your Own Little Cave, That’s One Less Fighter On The Side Of Fair.

Maybe Girls Need An Island To Find Themselves. Maybe They Need A Place Where No One's Is Watching Them So They Can Be Who They Really Are

A Man Bumps Me On His Busy Way Without So Much As An Apology. But That Is All Right. I Forgive You, Busy Man About Town With The Sharp Elbows. Hail And Farewell To You! For I, Gemma Doyle, Am To Have A Splendid Christmas In London Town. All Shall Be Well. God Rest Us Merry Gentlemen. And Gentlewomen.

There Is No Greater Power On This Earth Than Story.

Reminds Us That Greatness Lies Even In The Smallest Of Moments, In The Humblest Of Hearts, And We Shall, Each Of Us, Be Called To Greatness. Whether We Shall Rise To Meet It Or Let It Slip Away Is The Challenge Put Before Us All.

It Keeps Her Purity Vacum-sealed To Preserve Its Freshness For Her Future Husband.

All Things Are Possible.

...i Do Have To Wonder What Sort Of Childhood The Grimm Brothers Endured. They Are Not A Merry Bunch Of Storytellers, What With Their Children Roasted By Witches, Maidens Poisoned By Old Crones, And Whatnot.

Around Us The Night Creatures Have Their Say. We Are Surrounded By A Symphony Of Crickets And Frogs. Neither Of Us Feels The Need To Speak, And I Suppose That Is One Of The Qualities I Find Comforting In Kartik. We Can Be Alone Together.

Any Librarian Or Scholar Will Tell You: Close Is Not The Same As Accurate.

Did God Ever Cry Over His Lost Angel, I Wonder?

Prepared To Fly, Even If She Has To Loose Her Legs To Do It

I Don't Know. Sometimes, I Feel Nothing, And I'm So Afraid. Afraid I'll Stop Feeling Anything At All. I'll Just Slip Away Inside Myself...i Just Need To Feel Something" A Great And Terrible Beauty, Page 177, By

May I Suggest That You All Read? And Often. Believe Me, It's Nice To Have Something To Talk About Other Than The Weather And The Queen's Health. Your Mind Is Not A Cage. It's A Garden. And It Requires Cultivating.

Come Awake, Tom. Fathers Can Willfully Hurt Their Children. They Can Be Addicts Too Weak To Give Up Their Vices, No Matter The Pain It Causes. Mothers Can Turn You Invisible With Neglect. They Can Erase You With A Denial, A Refusal To See. Friends Can Deceive You. People Lie. It Is A Cold, Hard World. I Do Not Blame Nell Hawkins For Retreating From It Into A Madness Of Her Own Choosing.

In Each Of Us Lie Good And Bad, Light And Dark, Art And Pain, Choice And Regret, Cruelty And Sacrifice. We’re Each Of Us Our Own Chiaroscuro, Our Own Bit Of Illusion Fighting To Emerge Into Something Solid, Something Real. We’ve Got To Forgive Ourselves That. I Must Remember To Forgive Myself. Because There Is A Lot Of Grey To Work With. No One Can Live In The Light All The Time.

I Run After Her, Not Really Giving Chase. I’m Running Because I Can, Because I Must. Because I Want To See How Far I Can Go Before I Have To Stop.

Dammit!" "what?" Gonzo Sounds Panicked. "we're Out Of Gas." "you're Shithenging Me." "i Shithenge You Not.

That's What Living In Their World Is-a Big Lie. An Illusion Where Everyone Looks The Other Way And Pretends That Nothing Unpleasant Exists At All, No Goblins Of The Dark, No Ghosts Of The Soul.

There In The City's Steam-and-smoke-smudged Harbor Is The Most Extraordinary Sight Of All: A Great Copper-clad Lady With A Torch In One Hand And A Book In The Other. It Is Not A Statesman Or A God Or A War Hero Who Welcomes Us To This New World. It Is But An Ordinary Woman Lighting The Way- A Lady Offering Us The Liberty To Pursue Our Dreams If We've The Courage To Begin.

We've Barley Stepped Into The Bright Glow Of The Realms When Everything Goes Dark.

I Thought Research Would Be More Glamorous, Somehow. I'd Give The Librarian A Secret Code Word And He'd Give Me The One Book I Needed And Whisper The Necessary Page Numbers. Like A Speakeasy. With Books.

When She Can't Bring Me To Heal With Scolding, She Bends Me To Shape With Guilt.

We Create The Illusions We Need To Go On.

Scoring Well On Tests Is The Sort Of Happy Thing That Gets The School District The Greenbacks They Crave. Understanding And Appreciating The Material Are Secondary.

You Can’t Blame A Fella For Kissing The Prettiest Girl In New York, Can You, Sister?” Sam’s Grin Was Anything But Apologetic. Evie Brought Up Her Knee Quickly And Decisively, And He Dropped To The Floor Like A Grain Sack. “you Can’t Blame A Girl For Her Quick Reflexes Now, Can You, Pal?

Reason Was For Suckers And Presbyterians.

To Live Is To Love, To Love Is To Live.

J.t Woodland, Known As “the Cute One” In The Corporation’s Seventh-grade Boy Band, Boyz Will B Boyz. Due To The Success Of Their Triple-platinum Hit, “let Me Shave Your Legs Tonight, Girl,” Boyz Will B Boyz Ruled The Charts For A Solid Eleven Months Before Hitting Puberty And Losing Ground To Hot Vampire Boyz.

The Best Day Of My Life Happened When I Was Five And Almost Died At Disney World. I'm Sixteen Now, So You Can Imagine That's Left Me With Quite A Few Days Of Major Suckage.

And When It Comes, Her Kiss Is Like Something Not So Much Felt As Found.

I Will Tell You The Story Of How We Found Ourselves In A Realm Where Dreams Are Formed, Destiny Is Chosen, And Magic Is As Real As A Handprint In The Snow.

I'd Like To Thank Readers. Every Time You Open A Book, It Is A Strike Against Ignorance. Unless You're Reading Sarah Palin.

Its So Daunting To Walk Into A Classroom Or A School Auditorium. Its Like The Worlds Weirdest Blind Date. I Know All The Students Are Thinking, Who Is This Tool Standing Up In Front Of Us?

But...you Could Have Whatever You Wished." "exactly," He Says, Nuzzling My Neck. "but," I Say, "you Could Turn Stones To Rubies Or Ride In A Fine Gentleman's Carriage." Kartik Puts His Hands On Either Side Of My Face. "to Each His Own Magic," He Says And Kisses Me Again.

No, I Call. Come Back. I'm Here, He Says. But I Can't See. It's Too Bright. You Can't Hold Back The Light, Gemma. I'm Here. Trust Me.

My Misery Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions.

Everything Is Randomly Connected.

People Always Fear What They Don't Understand, Evangeline. History Proves That.

I've Never Been In Love. I Will Die Without Knowing What It Feels Like To Need To See One Person's Face When You Go To Sleep At Night, To Crave Seeing It When You Wake Up. I Wish I Knew.

I Thought I Was Having An Existential Crisis, But It Was Nothing. Please Don't Tailgate: Body In Trunk.

The Only Thing I Don't Divulge Is The Truth About Mother Killing Little Carolina. I Don't Know Why. Perhaps I Sense He's Not Ready To Know That Just Yet. Maybe He Never Will. People Can Live With Only So Much Honesty. And Sometimes, People Can Suprise You. I Talk To My Brother As I Never Have Before, Trusting In Him, Letting The River Listen To My Confessions On Its Path Toward The Sea. ~pg 693

You Don't Know Me, Dude," He Says, Not Smiling This Time. Gonzo Examines His Cards, Prepping For His Next Move. "people Always Think That They Know Other People, But They Don't. Not Really. I Mean, Maybe They Know Things About Them, Like They Won't Eat Doughnuts Or They Like Action Movies Or Whatever. But They Don't Know What Their Friends Do In Their Rooms Alone At Night Or What Happened To Them When They Were Kids Or If They Feel ****ed Up For No Reason At All.

And Now I Understand That Truth Casts A Spell Of Its Own, One I'm Not Sure Of How To Hold On To, Though I'm Desperate To Try.

What Makes A Girl A Girl? What Makes A Guy A Guy? Do You Have To Be What They Want You To Be? Or Do You Stop And Listen To That Voice Inside You? I Know Who I Am. I'm Petra West. And I'm A Girl. You Want Me To Sleep Somewhere Else, Fine. Whatever. But I'm Not Going To Pretend To Be Somebody I'm Not. I've Done Enough Of That.

If God Has Nothing Better To Do Than Punish Schoolgirls For A Bit Of Tomfoolery, Then I've No Use For God.

When The World Moves Forward Too Fast For Some People, They Try To Pull Us All Back With Their Fear.

What Frightens You? What Makes The Hair On Your Arms Rise, Your Palms Sweat, The Breath Catch In Your Chest Like A Wild Thing Caged? Is It The Dark? A Fleeting Memory Of A Bedtime Story, Ghosts And Goblins And Witches Hiding In The Shadows? Is It The Way The Wind Picks Up Just Before A Storm, The Hint Of Wet In The Air That Makes You Want To Scurry Home To The Safety Of Your Fire? Or Is It Something Deeper, Something Much More Frightening, A Monster Deep Inside That You've Glimpsed Only In Pieces, The Vast Unknown Of Your Own Soul Where Secrets Gather With A Terrible Power, The Dark Inside?

What You Want Can Be Yours. But You Must First Know What It Is You Want.

The Library Card Is A Passport To Wonders And Miracles, Glimpses Into Other Lives, Religions, Experiences, The Hopes And Dreams And Strivings Of All Human Beings, And It Is This Passport That Opens Our Eyes And Hearts To The World Beyond Our Front Doors, That Is One Of Our Best Hopes Against Tyranny, Xenophobia, Hopelessness, Despair, Anarchy, And Ignorance.

My Cholera's Acting Up Again.

What --- You Don't Believe In True Love?" Petra Asked. "the Kind That Can Then Be Parlayed Into Awesome Merchandising Opportunities?" - "beauty Queens

There Were Few Things Worse Than Being Ordinary, In Evie’s Opinion. Ordinary Was For Suckers.

In This Man’s Smile Was All The Unfairness Of The World In Its Thuggish Seduction. “just Come With Me. We’ll Take Care Of You.” “no, You Won’t.” Taylor Stroked The Man’s Cheek. She Reached Her Arms Up To Cradle The Back Of His Head And, With The Skill Of A Champion, She Broke His Neck. Then She Dragged Him Into The Bushes, Took His Gun And Walkie-talkie, And Kept Moving.

Didn't You Have Any Sadistic Nannies Who Told You These Tales To Keep You Quiet And Well Behaved At Night? Heavens, What's To Become Of The Empire If Governesses Have Lost Their Touch For Scaring The Wits Out Of Their Girls?

Sitting In My Favorite Coffeehouse With A New Notebook And A Hot Cup Of Java Is My Idea Of Heaven.

A Gentle Breeze Catches In The Branches Then And I Hear It, Soft And Low, A Murmured Prayer--gem-ma, Gem-ma--and Then The Leaves Bend Down And Trail Delicate Fingers Across My Cold Cheeks.

I Wish To Live For Myself. I Should Never Want To Be Trapped.

I Know Because I Read. Might I Suggest You Try It?

He Frowns. "a Dance With The Carnivorous Felicity? Why? Has She Eaten All The Other Available Gentlemen?

But The Past Cannot Be Changed, And We Carry Our Choices With Us, Forward, Into The Unknown. We Can Only Move On.

Jeez, Someone Needs To Push The Reset Button On This Planet.

I Should Never Be Left Alone With My Mind For Too Long.

When You Looked Up To The Sky And Cried 'why?' Sometimes The Sky Shrugged, Yet Other Times It Answered With Warm Assurance Of Linked Hands.

This Is Going To Make Such A Great Story: How I Nursed A Pirate Back To Health And My Love Saved Him," Miss Ohio Said With A Contented Sigh. "and Then We Can Have Our Own Reality Show About Our Relationship." - "beauty Queens

Who But The Mad Would Choose To Keep On Living? In The End, Aren't We All Just A Little Crazy?

I'm An Oddity Of One, My Strangeness Too Complicated To Explain Or Share.

I Don't Have Time To Feel Sorry For Myself. I've Got To Think.

Perhaps This Is How Girls Fall -- Not In Some Crime Of Enchantment At The Hands Of A Wicked Ne'er-do-well, A Grand Before And After In Which They Are Innocent Victims Who Have No Say In The Matter. Perhaps They Simply Are Kissed And Want To Kiss Back. Perhaps They Even Kiss First. And Why Should They Not?

It's Always Darkest Before The Ultimate Sparkle.

You Know What Else Is Hot?" Said A Nameless Blonde As She Put Her Arm Around The One Black Girl. "what?" "bisexuals." "totally. Well, Not Like Real Bisexuals Who Are Just Sort Of Your Everyday People, But, Like, The Kind Of Bisexuals You See In Magazines Wearing Nothing But Body Paint And Kissing Both Boys And Girls To Promote A New Single." "totally, Totally Hot.

I Wonder How Many Times Each Day She Dies A Little.

Ahem. Dear Jesus," Taylor Intoned More Fervently. "we Just Want To Thank You For Gettin' Us Here Safe ---" There Was A Loud, Gurgling Groan. Somebody Shouted, "oh My Gosh! Miss Delaware Just Died!" "--- For Gettin Some Of Us Here Safe," Taylor Continued. "and We Pray That, As We Are Fine, Upstandin', Law-abidin' Girls Who Represent The Best Of The Best, You Will Protect Us From Harm And Keep Us Safe Until We Are Rescued And Can Tell Our Story To People Magazine. Amen." - "beauty Queens

Any Book That Can Help You Survive The Slings And Arrows Of Adolescence Is A Book To Love For Life; 'the Catcher In The Rye' Did Just That, And I Still Do Love It.

The Trouble With Morning Is That It Comes Well Before Noon.

No One Had Ever Said Anything Like That To Evie. Her Parents Always Wanted To Advise Or Instruct Or Command. They Were Good People, But They Needed The World To Bend To Them, To Fit Into Their Order Of Things. Evie Had Never Really Quite Fit, And When She Tried, She’d Just Pop Back Out, Like A Doll Squeezed Into A Too-small Box.

We're Comfortable With Women In Certain Roles But Not Comfortable With Women Expressing Anger Or Fully Accepting Their Power. The Most Daring Question A Woman Can Ask Is, 'what Do I Want?'

Truth Casts A Spell Of Its Own.

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged.

The Mere Suggestion Of Fame And Fortune Casts A Glamour All Its Own. It Is Rather Alarming How Quickly People Will Turn Someone Else's Fiction Into Fact In Order To Support Their Own Fictions Of Themselves.

When I Dream, I Dream Of Him.

In Every End, There Is Also A Beginning.

She Is The Elephant’s Eyebrows,” Evie Whispered Appreciatively. “those Jewels! How Her Neck Must Ache.” “that’s Why Bayer Makes Aspirin,” Mabel Whispered Back, And Evie Smiled, Knowing That Even A Socialist Wasn’t Immune To The Dazzle Of A Movie Star.

The Glow Dies Down, And She's Standing At The End Of My Bed--the One Who's Been Following Me Around Leaving Feather Messages. I Take In The Torn Fishnets, Plaid Mini-kilt, Shiny, Riveted Breastplate With Leather Straps At The Sides And A Worn Great Temolo Decal Near The Left Shoulder. Her Wings Are A Crazy Black-and-white-checkered Pattern, Like They've Been Spray-painted At A Body Shop To Look Like Hipster Sneakers.

Black And White

The World Expected Girls To Pluck And Primp And Put On Heels. Meanwhile, Boys Dressed In Rumpled T-shirts And Baggy Pants And Misplace Their Combs, And Yet You Were Suppose To Fall At Their Feet? Unacceptable.

There's No Time To Be Modest. Reason Will Not Work Here. Without Warning, I Kiss Kartik. His Lips, Pressed Firmly Against Mine, Are A Surprise. They Are Warm, Light As Breath, Firm As The Give Of A Peach Against My Mouth. A Scent Like Scorched Cinnamon Hangs In The Air, But I'm Not Falling Into Any Vision. It's His Smell In Me. A Smell That Makes My Stomach Drop Through My Feet. A Smell That Pushes All Thought Out Of My Head And Replaces It With An Overpowering Hunger For More.

They Have Money And Position And Ann Has None.it's Amazing How Often You Can Be Right As Long As You Have Those Two Things Working In Your Favor.

Evie Hadn’t Always Felt That Way. For A Year After James Had Died, She’d Cupped His Half-dollar Pendant Between Her Pressed Palms And Prayed Fervently For A Miracle, For A Telegram That Would Say Good News! It Was A Terrible Mistake, And Private James Xavier O’neill Has Been Found, Safe, In A Farmhouse In France. But No Such Telegram Ever Arrived, And Whatever Possible Faith Might Have Bloomed In Evie Withered And Died. Now She Saw It As Just Another Advertisement For A Life That Belonged To A Previous Generation And Held No Meaning For Hers.

Oh, Hello," Dr. M Says, Shaking Balder's Hand. "wonderful Costume. I'm A Bit Of A Role Player Myself On The Weekends. Tell Me, Where Did You Get The Helmet?" It Was Forged In The North, Blessed By The Hands Of Odin, Given To Me By My Mother, Frigg," Balder Answers. Lovely. I Got Mine On The Internet.

Why Do Girls Always Feel Like They Have To Apologize For Giving An Opinion Or Taking Up Space In The World? Have You Ever Noticed That?" Nicole Asked. "you Go On Websites And Some Girl Leaves A Post And If It's Longer Than Three Sentences Or She's Expressing Her Thoughts About Some Topic, She Usually Ends With, 'sorry For The Rant' Or 'that May Be Dumb, But That's What I Think.

If There Was One Truth Evie Had Learned In Her Short Life, It Was That Forgiveness Was Easier To Seek Than Permission. She Didn’t Plan To Ask For Either One.

Things Aren't Good Or Bad In And Of Themselves. It's What We Do With Them That Makes Them So.

Why Does Everyone Want To Own Me?" Pippa Mumbles. She's Got Her Head In Her Hands. "why Do They All Want To Control My Life -- How I Look, Whom I See, What I Do Or Don't Do? Why Can't They Just Let Me Alone?" "because You're Beautiful," Ann Answers, Watching The Fire Lick Her Palm. "people Always Think They Can Own Beautiful Things.

What Kind Of Person Doesn't Let You Have Gummi Bears?

A Guy's Gotta Live, You Know, Gotta Make His Way And Find His Meaning In Life And Love, And To Do That He Needs Coffee, He Needs Coffee And Coffee And Coffee.

You Are Unique, And This Is A Beautiful, Beautiful Thing, Grasshopper.

Oh, I Didn't Think It Wise To Hide It. Might Not Be Able To Find It Again," I Say, Cheerily. "it's Sitting In Plain View On Your Chair In The Great Hall. I Do Hope That Was The Best Place For It.

Travel Opens Your Mind As Few Other Things Do.

These Are Hard Times. The World Hurts. We Live In Fear And Forget To Walk With Hope. But Hope Has Not Forgotten You. So Ask It To Dinner. It's Probably Hungry And Would Appreciate The Invitation.

I Told Myself It Was The Snow—she Couldn’t Possibly Get To Philadelphia On The Roads. I Told Myself A Hundred Lies. Children Do That. It’s Amazing The Sorts Of Things You’ll Make Yourself Believe.

So Much Of The Literature We Had To Read For High School English Class Was Filled With Victimized, Tragic, Symbolic Women Who Spurred The Plot Forward With Their Inevitable Shunning/death/shunning-followed-by-pregnancy-followed-by-death Timelines.

Look, I Know This Seems A Little Half-assed...' 'no, Dude. I'd Be Thrilled If This Plan Were Half-assed. This Is, Like, No-assed.' 'you're Right. It's The Most No-assed Thing I've Ever Done In My Life.

Do Not Be Tempted By English Roses. Their Beauty Fades, But Their Thorns Are Forever.

I’m Not Interested In Being Polite. It’s False.

Write Like It Matters, And It Will.

Prohibition? I Drink To Its Health Whenever I Can.

As One, They Leap, Laughing, And That Is Where We Leave Them - Mouths Open, Arms Spread Wide, Fingers Splayed To Take In The Whole World, Bodies Flying High In Defiance Of Gravity, As If They Will Never Fall.

When The Music Is Over, She Keeps Her Head Down Till She Finds Her Seat Again, And I Wonder How Many Times Each Day She Dies A Little.

The Man In The Shop Peered Disapprovingly At Evie Through The Glass. She Pumped Her Arms And Legs Up And Down In Imitation Of A Marching Band, Gave The Man A Salute, And Continued Her Meandering Walk To The Museum.

One Can Never Go Back. One Always Has To Move Forward.

How Do People Stay In Love, Anyway? Is It A Choice? Or Is It Like Those Plants We Studied In Biology That Mutate Into Something New And Totally Different But Are Still Part Of The Same Plant Family?

True Affection And Love Have A Purity Which Shall Always Prevail Over Bigotry.

...i Took Advanced Powerpoint Last Semester. You Guys Are Always Misunderestimating Me. I'm Totally Ready To Handle The Big Stuff.

Next Time We See You, You’ll Be On Trial For Some Ingenious Crime!” Dottie Said With A Laugh. Evie Grinned. “just As Long As They Know My Name.

Hi. I’m From Arkansas, The Cantaloupe State. And Tonight, I Hope You Will Hold My Melons Close To Your Heart And Vote Me Your Miss Teen Dream.

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