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Oh, My God. It Hit Me Like A Tsunami Then: How Perfect He Was For Me, How He Was Everything I Could Possibly Hope For, As A Friend, Boyfriend - Maybe Even More. He Was It For Me. There Would Be No More Looking. I Really, Really Loved Him, With A Whole New Kind Of Love I'd Never Felt Before, Something That Made Every Other Kind Of Love I'd Ever Felt Just Seem Washed Out And Wimpy In Comparison. I Loved Him With Every Cell In My Body, Every Thought In My Head, Every Feather In My Wings, Every Breath In My Lungs. And Air Sacs.

-James Patterson

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Oh, My God. It

James Patterson

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Oh, My God. It Hit Me Like A Tsunami Then: How Perfect He Was For Me, How He Was Everything I Could Possibly Hope For, As A Friend, Boyfriend - Maybe Even More. He Was It For Me. There Would Be No More Looking. I Really, Really Loved Him, With A Whole New Kind Of Love I'd Never Felt Before, Something That Made Every Other Kind Of Love I'd Ever Felt Just Seem Washed Out And Wimpy In Comparison. I Loved Him With Every Cell In My Body, Every Thought In My Head, Every Feather In My Wings, Every Breath In My Lungs. And Air Sacs.

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I'd Been Told That He Had Been Created-literally Created-just For Me,as My "perfect Other Half." Let Me Tell You-if Dylan Was My Perfect Other Half, Then I Needed To Give My First Half A Seriouis Look-see.

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I Offered To Pee On Him, But They Said No

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They Turned To Angel. "we Will Call You Little One," The Leader Said, Obviously Deciding To Dispense With The Whole Confusing Name Thing. "okay," Said Angel Agreeably. "i'll Call You Guy In A White Lab Coat." He Frowned. "that Can Be His Indian Name," I Suggested.

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Fear Is Not The Answer, Not Ever.

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If The White House Could Do More To Tell Parents That Getting Children Reading Is Their Business Too, We'd See A Big Difference. Hollywood And The Nba Or Nfl Could Step In, Too. In England They Have An Event Called Book Day, Where Every Child Receives A Pound To Use At Any Bookstore.

It's For Upset Stomachs,' Dylan Said, Trying To Hide A Smile. He Pointed To The Words In The Box. 'it's To Reduce Gas In Your Digestive System, Not To Create More Gas To Make Explosions.' Gazzy's Face Fell As Iggy Said. 'really? Gazzy Take It! Take The Whole Box!' 'i Second That Emotion!' Said Total.

I Vill Eat Nine Snikuhs Bahs Visout Bahfing

They Call Me, The Sharkalator

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I Don't Think Of Myself As A Writer.

Okay, If This Is What Falling In Love Feels Like, Someone Please Kill Me Now. (not Literally, Overzealous Readers.) But It Was All Too Much - Too Much Emotion, Too Much Happiness, Too Much Longing, Perhaps Too Much Ice Cream.

Falling In Love

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Maybe He Was A Good A Good Whitecoat—like Jeb. And Maybe The Moon Was Made Of Cream Cheese.

What, Ebay Isn't Good Enough For Us?

I Flipped Down The Visor So I Could Check Myself In The Mirror, And Something Small And Heavy Dropped Into My Lap. I Froze, My Breath Stuck In My Throat. What—? Gingerly, I Looked Down. It Wasn’t A Grenade. It Was A Key Ring. One Key Was For This Van. I Looked At It Blankly. “well, That’ll Simplify Things,” Fang Said.

Just For Fun I Flew In Huge Banking Arcs, Taking Deep Breaths, Enjoying The Feel Of My Newly Weightless Hair. The Stylist Had Called It “wind Tossed.” If Only She Knew.

That's More Than Three Questions, Max. And Sometimes Whether Someone Is Your Friend Or Enemy Is All In How You Look At It. But If You Must Know, I Consider Myself Your Friend, A Good Friend Who Loves You Very Much. No One Loves You More Than I Do, Maximum. Now Listen. I Ask The Questions, Not You. You're Just Here... For The Ride. For The Incredible, Indescribable Maximum Ride.

Dear God," Said Nudge Under Her Breath, "i Want Real Parents. But I Want Them To Want Me Too. I Want Them To Love Me. I Already Love Them. Please See What You Can Do. Thanks Very Much. Love, Nudge." Okay, So I'm Not Saying We Were Pros At This Or Anything. (max Thoughts)

Oz Thinks I'm Beautiful," She Whispered To The Stars.

You Can Help Each Other, Max, Said The Unwelcome Voice. You're Perfect Complements To Each Other. "shut Up!" I Hissed Under My Breath, And Dylan Looked Startled. "i Didn't Say Anything." Gritting My Teeth, I Nodded. "no, I Know. It's Just-" I Decided To Take A Risk And Stare Him Down. "i Hear Voices, Okay? If You're Gonna Be Here, Get Used To It. Or Else Keep Your Distance.

Okay, Okay, Okay. I Understood That Pushing The Elevator Button Over And Over Again Would Not Make The Elevator Appear Sooner. But I Couldn't Help Myself

When Your Own Romantic Life Is Falling Apart, Everyone Else's Looks Fabulous.

Angel Raised Her Hand. "excuse Me. What Does Ltc Stand For?" She Blinked Innocently. "loving Tender Care?"gazzy Suggested.if Our Instructor Had Had Lasers For Eyes, He Would Have Sliced Gazzy In Half. "lieutenant Colonel," He Sputtered.

Love Hurts." Oh, Shut Up!" - Pg 123

A Friend Of Mine Once Defined Love As Finding Someone You Can Talk To Late Into The Night

Finding Someone

Part 3 Back To School (the Normal Kind)

I Knew My Transformation Was Complete When Dr.keyes Asked, "how Are You Feeling Today, Tandy?" And I Responded "i'm Not

Guess They Forgot To Program Us With Any Respect For Authority." "well, I Have A Highly Developed Sense Of Irony.

You Could Lock The Gasman In A Padded Cell With Some Dental Floss And A Bowl Of Jell-o, And He'd Find A Way To Make Something To Explode.

I'll Just Ask Now: What Is It About My Persona That Draws Every Insane, Power-hungry Nutcase To Me Like A Magnet?

It's Our Job - As Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles - To Find Books Our Kids Are Going To Like.

I Knew How Good Love Could Be -- I Knew It Was The Best Thing I'd Ever Done In My Life -- And Yet Here I Was Alone. I Was Taking Chances With My Life. I Kept Telling Everybody That I Was All Right, But I Wasn't.

I'm Gonna Barf," I Whispered To Fang,wiping My Sweaty Hands On My Jeans. You'll Be Fine," He Whipered Back. "you Always Are. I'm Gonna Die," I Moaned. You Can't Die," He Said A Hint Of A Smile In His Voice."you're The Indesructible Max.

He Landed 10 Feet Below With A Sickening Crunch-i'm Guessing His Enhancements Didn't Allow Him To Bounce Back Up Like A Ball. We Call That A Design Flaw.

Then I Went To Bed And Cried Into My Pillow. I Wasn't Sad, Not At All. It Was Just So Beautiful To Have An Intense Feeling And The Right Words At The Same Time. What Are We But Our Stories?

It Was A Little Weird That They Were Friends. But Then, Maybe Freaks Just Tended To Find Each Other.

Did I Want A Dog? No. Did I Need A Dog? Also No. We Were Six Kids Running For Our Lives, Not Knowing Where Our Next Meal Was Coming From. Could We Afford To Feed A Dog? Wait For It—no.

I Had To Give Him Props, But How Annoying Of Him To Be A Hero When I Was Trying So Hard To Dislike Him. It Was Downright Selfish.

Just In Case You Thought Elephants Were All Sweetness, I Can Attest To The Fact That This One Had The Time Of Her Life Scaring The Bejeezus Out Of Those Dudes.

Do I Open It? Do I Open It? Of Course I Freaking Open It!

The Hardest Part About Parenting Is When I Have To Be The Dad--aka The Fun-sucker--as Opposed To Being A Friend.

What Was Premeditated Murder If Not Calculated Leverage?

I’ve Been Listening To How The Roman Empire Fell And All I Can Say Is, It Didn’t Fall Nearly Fast Enough!”-iggy

When I Write I Pretend I'm Telling A Story To Someone In The Room And I Don't Want Them To Get Up Until I'm Finished.

I Still Felt Like I Might Hurl, And I Thought About How Awful That Would Be In Midair.

My Name Is Daniel, And This Is The First Volume Of My Life Story, Which, Hopefully, Will Be A Very Long And Distinguished One. Who Should You Read It? Very Good Question. Maybe Because This Is Your Planet, And You Have A Right To Know What's Actually Happening On It.

Even Needing To Get To Angel, We Couldn’t Forget The Basic Necessity Of Eating.

He's Gonna Be Fine," I Confirmed. Can We See Him?" Iggy Asked. Ig, I Hate To Break It To You, But You're Blind.

You Stand Out Like A Fart In A Church.

I Have An Idea. It’s Risky, And Max Will Kill Us When She Finds Out.” Iggy Raised His Head. “sounds Like My Kind Of Idea.

This Time I Wouldn't Forget Him, Because I Couldn't Ever Forgive Him - For Breaking My Heart Twice.

The Weird, Weird Thing About Devastating Loss Is That Life Actually Goes On. When You're Faced With A Tragedy, A Loss So Huge That You Have No Idea How You Can Live Through It, Somehow, The World Keeps Turning, The Seconds Keep Ticking.

Can You Giggle While Racing For Your Life And Protecting A Six-year-old? I Can.

Look, We're Trying To Explore Other Options To Your Retirement," The Whitecoat Said. "you Might Be Useful To Us In Other Ways." Because We're Not That Useful Dead,"nudge Said Thoughtfully. No," I Agreed. "well, Maybe As Doorstops." The Whitecat Made An "eew" Expression. Or Those Things In A Parking Lot That Show Where The Cars Should Stop," Suggested Iggy. He Closed His Eyes And Went Stiff, To Demonstrate What It Would Look Like. Also An Option.

We Probably Looked Like Starving Orphan Children. Hey! We Were Starving Orphan Children.

We Will Destroy You,” The Flyboys Droned. “you Have No Escape.” That Was The Most Imaginative, Threatening Thing The Whitecoats Had Programmed These ’droids To Say? “talk About Lame,” Fang Muttered.

Our Parents Were A Test Tube And A Turkey Baster.

Max: "okay Guys, I Had A Couple Thoughts I Wanted To Go Over With You." Iggy: (pretends To Snore Loudy) Max: (throws Another Pinecone At Him) Iggy: "quit Throwing Things At Me!" Max: "glad You Could Join Us.

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