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My Mother Had Heard All About Miniskirts But Had Never Seen One So I Took Her For Lunch At Alvaro's [in Chelsea]. We Walked Down The King's Road And Waited 10 Seconds For Our First Miniskirt And A Girl Came Along With Her Skirt Tucked Round Her Arse. I Said: 'what Do You Think, Ma?' And She Said: 'if It's Not For Sale, You Shouldn't Put It In The Window!'

-Michael Caine

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My Mother Had Heard

Michael Caine

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My Mother Had Heard All About Miniskirts But Had Never Seen One So I Took Her For Lunch At Alvaro's [in Chelsea]. We Walked Down The King's Road And Waited 10 Seconds For Our First Miniskirt And A Girl Came Along With Her Skirt Tucked Round Her Arse. I Said: 'what Do You Think, Ma?' And She Said: 'if It's Not For Sale, You Shouldn't Put It In The Window!'

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We Can Only Use British Actors Because Everybody's Got To Talk Exactly The Same.

One Of The Great Things With Comedy Is That There's No Such Thing As A Mediocre Comedy; It's Either Uproarious Or Crap. That's The Problem.

I'd Like It To Be Remembered As You Had Some Fun. We're Only Here [living] For Some Fun. I Think If You Learn Something, All Well And Good, But We're Only Here To Give You Some Fun. Along The Way, You May Find Out Something.

Every Magic Trick Consists Of Three Parts, Or Acts. The First Part Is Called The Pledge. The Magician Shows You Something Ordinary. The Second Act Is Called The Turn. The Magician Takes The Ordinary Something And Makes It Into Something Extraordinary. But You Wouldn't Clap Yet, Because Making Something Disappear Isn't Enough. You Have To Bring It Back.

The Standing Ovation Threw Me. ... To Be Held In Such Regard In A Town So Full Of Talent Is Quite Something.

I Learned About Life Before I Went Into The Theater, Which Is Why I've Been So Happy. I Was A Soldier.

There's Quite A Lot Of Bad Stuff Written About Me. My Wife Even Says A Lot Of Bad Stuff About Me. But She Is Wonderful.

I Wear A Baseball Cap All The Time, Which I Would Never Normally Wear, And I Walk Very Fast.

You Cannot Have One Bathroom. And It Don't Matter How Much You Love Your Wife And Everything, 'cause You Wind Up With No Room At All. You Just Get A Little Corner And You've Got A Toothbrush And Your Paste And A Shaving Brush And A Razor. And You Can Never Get In There. So You Must Have Two Bathrooms. You Really Must. I Think It's Essential.

I've Done A Lot Of Radio In My Life. I've Done Radio Plays For The Bbc When I Was Young So I Was Absolutely Used To That Style Of Work, Of Working With The Voice. I Have A Very Distinctive Voice So It's Always Great For Me Because I Open My Mouth And Everybody Knows Who It Is.

If You're An Actor And You Don't Act For A Long Time You Sort Of Think, I Wonder If I Can Still Do It.

I Was Watching Cartoons On Television And A Commercial Came On For One Of The Batman Series Where I Played A Butler. And Then My Grandson Looked Up At Me And He Said, "do You Know Batman?" I Said, "yes." He Said, "really," I Said, "yeah." I Said I Know Him Very Well. And He Told All The Boys At School, He Said, "my Grandpa Knows Batman. Does Your Grandpa Know Batman? Ok, No. Mine Does.

My Mother Had Heard All About Miniskirts But Had Never Seen One So I Took Her For Lunch At Alvaro's [in Chelsea]. We Walked Down The King's Road And Waited 10 Seconds For Our First Miniskirt And A Girl Came Along With Her Skirt Tucked Round Her Arse. I Said: 'what Do You Think, Ma?' And She Said: 'if It's Not For Sale, You Shouldn't Put It In The Window!'

I Just Try To Play More And More Difficult Roles.

My Closest Friends Are Roger Moore, Who Is An Actor, Sean Connery, Who Is An Actor, Terry O'neill, Who Is A Photographer, Johnny Gold, Who Was The Boss Of Tramp, And Leslie Bricusse, Who Is A Composer.

I'm Not In The Lifetime Achievement Area Yet-i'm Still Battling It Out In The Trenches.

I Just Work In Order To Improve Myself As An Actor Which Is What I've Always Done.

Maybe It's Time We All Stop Trying To Outsmart The Truth And Let It Have Its Day.

My Mum Never Understood How Much I Earned. When I Told Her I Earned A Million Pounds A Film, She Said, 'how Much Is That?'

I've Always Played Very Human Sort Of Characters.

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I Spent My Life In The Library Reading Books.

I Have Been Rich And I Have Been Poor. I Know Which One I Prefer.

I Am Often Asked Which Of My Films Has Come Closest To My Own Ideal Of Performance, And I Always Answer, 'educating Rita.'

I'm Not Tough Anymore, I'm 82.

You're Never Too Old To Be Crazy.

I Want To Stick Around With The Big Boys. I Don't Want To Be In The Old Folks Home.

How Can I Change Me To Suit The Script?

If You're A Gardener You Don't Need A Gym. [...] You're Always Carrying Large Sacks Of Manure All Over.

What A Lot Of People Dont Realize About Gangs, In My Opinion, Is That A Gang Is Not There To Attack You. Eighty Percent Of The People In A Gang Are There To Stop Anyone From Attacking Them. You Join A Gang For Protection, Not To Go Out And Hit Someone.

I Think It Would Be Great For The Academy To Recognize Old Age.

I've Always Got To Have One Impossible Dream On The Back Burner.

I Don't Do It Often, But I Do Cry. I Also Laugh A Lot; People Tell Me I'm Funny And I Do Like To Laugh.

You Can See All Sorts Of Things In Film Acting If You Know Where To Look And What To Look For. One Thing I Often Notice Is That The Actor Is Looking For His Mark, The Place Where He Has To Stand To Be In The Right Place In The Shot.

I Regard The Theater As A Woman I Loved Dearly Who Treated Me Like Dirt.

At Age 11, I Went To A Jewish School. I Speak Yiddish. I'm Church Of England Protestant. My Father Was Catholic, And My Mother Was Protestant. My Wife Is A Muslim.

Use The Difficulties - If You Can't Avoid Them

I Started With The Firm Conviction That When I Came To The End, I Wanted To Be Regretting The Things That I Had Done, Not The Things I Hadn't.

To Be A Movie Star, You Have To Invent Yourself.

If You Think You're Going To Be Up For An Oscar, You Schedule Your Moviemaking.

I've Been In Every Disco In The World. I Saw A Picture Of My Wife Shakira And I Dancing In Studio 54; I Didn't Even Know Someone Had Taken That Picture.

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To Disappear Your Complete Self Into A Character Is Quite Difficult. I've Tried It 85 Times, And I've Succeeded Two Or Three Times.

I'm A Sort Of Boy Next Door. If That Boy Has A Good Scriptwriter.

Obsession Is A Young Man’s Game.

English Is Clipped In Speech. Texas Is Exactly The Opposite.

I Don't Have To Work. I Suppose I Should Retire. But I Enjoy Working.

If You Put Someone On Screen Long Enough, They Become The Hero.

I Come From The Slums; I Come From A Hard Background; I Come From A Poor Family; And I Was A Soldier.

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You Can Write Shorthand And Still Look At The Guy You're Talking To.

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I Don't Have To Work, Really, But I Do Enjoy Working, And I Do Enjoy Getting Paid.

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We Should Vote For The Welfare Of The Country, Not For The Welfare Of The Party.

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I Don't Think You Retire From Movies; Movies Retire You.

Theater Acting Is An Operation With A Scalpel, Movie Acting Is An Operation With A Laser

You Can't Get Blase About Something You Haven't Done Yet.

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I'm The Happiest Grandfather In The World, I Promise You.

My Own Mentality Is That I've Retired. They Send Me These Scripts And If I Absolutely Have To Do It, Then I Go To Work.

You Get Paid The Same For A Bad Film As You Do For A Good One.

When You're A Young Actor You Ring Your Agent Every Evening. It's Not Like When You're In Hollywood Where You Do One Picture A Year. You Just Hope You Get A Day On Television.

I Have Enough Money Not To Do Pictures Ever. I'm Seventy Years Old. I Don't Want To Get Up At 6:30 In The Morning And Learn Ten Pages Of Dialogue To Do With A Bunch Of Creeps I Don't Like. It's Gotta Be Fun For Me.

Funny Things Happen To You In Movies For Silly Reasons.

Not Only Is Acting More Than A Part-time Job, It's More Than A Full-time Job. It's A Full-time Obsession.

One Of The Main Things About Cockney Is, You Speak At Twice The Speed As Americans. Americans Speak Very Slow.

About Superman And Batman: The Former Is How America Views Itself, The Latter, Darker Character Is How The Rest Of The World Views America.

I Didn't Want To Come In The Movie Every So Often, Every 20 Minutes Saying, 'dinner Is Served, Would You Like Coffee?'

I'm Every Bourgeois Nightmare - A Cockney With Intelligence And A Million Dollars.

For Cider House Rules, I Was Doing A New England Accent.

I've Never Been Out With A Married Woman, Never. I Respect Others' Properties.

Respecting Others

And To Tom Cruise, For If You Had Won This, Your Asking Price Would Have Gone Down So Fast. Do You Have Any Idea What Supporting Actors Get Paid? We Get Only One Trailer, A Small One, In The Back.

I Was A Repertory Actor, Which Meant That I Did A Play Every Week. I Was A Different Character Every Week; For A Year, I Was Doing 40 Or 50 Characters.

You're Your First Best Audience, Long Before Anybody Else Hears You. So Don't Be An Easy Audience. Keep Asking For More.

Save Your Money. You're Going To Need Twice As Much Money In Your Old Age As You Think.

I Don't Like Getting Up Early In The Morning And Learning All That Stuff. I Work With Offers That I Can't Refuse.

I'll Always Be There Because I'm A Skilled Professional Actor. Whether Or Not I've Any Talent Is Beside The Point.

I've Always Loved Reprehensible People Because They're So Much More Interesting To Play On Screen.

My View Of Actors Is That Basically They're All Harmless Lunatics Who'd Be On The Psychiatrist's Couch.

I Love The Start Of Autumn When The Trees In My Garden Change The Colour Of Their Leaves In One Last Dazzling Display.

When Becoming A Character, You Have To Steal. Steal Whatever You See. You Can Even Steal From Other Actors' Characterizations; But If You Do, Only Steal From The Best.

Acting Is Not A Competition; Everything Must Be Done For The Good Of The Film Or Else Everybody Loses.

There's Only Two Things I Hate In This World. People Who Are Intolerant Of Other People's Cultures And The Dutch.

I'm The Audience's Representative On Earth.

First Of All, I Choose The Great Roles, And If None Of These Come, I Choose The Mediocre Ones, And If They Don't Come, I Choose The Ones That Pay The Rent.

The Three Actors I Admire The Most Are All Dead. Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy And The French Actor, Jean Gabin. They're All Very Natural, Sort Of Masculine Without Being Overly Macho.

Do I Believe In God? Yes I Do. When You've Had A Life Like Mine, You Have To.

The Old Guys Like Me Started In The Theatre. I Was In The Theatre For Nine Years.

I Heard My First Laughter On Stage, When I Was About 10 Years Old. It Was Gold Pantomime And I Remember I Was Playing Baron Fitznoodle, Who Was The Father Of The Ugly Sisters In "cinderella." And I Walked On And Got A Great Big Laugh And I Thought That Was Fantastic, Until I Looked Down And Found That My Flies Were Open. And So I Always Check My Flies. I Even Check My Flies On Radio.

Oh, What A Shock. My Career Must Be Slipping. This Is The First Time I've Been Available To Pick Up An Award.

At 69, I Got The Girl! And It Wasn't A 68-year-old Girl, Either.

I Had Been Nine Years In The Theatre And Hadn't Had Massive Success. My Only Thing Was I Wanted To Be An Actor And I Didn't Care When, Where, Or How Much For.

My Problem Was That I Was Blond. There Were No Heroes With Blond Hair. Robert Taylor And Henry Fonda, They All Had Dark Hair. The Only One I Found Was Van Johnson, Who Wasn't Too Cool. He Was A Nice, Homely American Boy. So I Created My Own Image. It Worked.

You Start Pretending To Have Fun, You Might Have A Little By Accident.

I Feel That I Helped The Working Class By Just Saying There Are No Barriers, Which I Consider To Be True.

You've Got To Be Flexible. Directors Do A Massive Amount Of Planning And Homework, And If After All That Your Director Decides To Throw It All Out Of The Window And Shoot Spontaneously, Then You Must Follow His Lead.

I'm Doing The Next Batman. I Have To Become Obsessed About What Is Offered To Me.

I Am A Great Admirer Of Other Actors, But I Never Compete With Other Actors. I Always Compete With What I Did Last, And I'm My Own Most Vicious Critic. So I'm Always Trying To Do It Better.

Anyone Can Write. But Comedy, You've Got To Do Some Writing. You Get One Comedy Script To Every 20 Dramas.

A Man's Body May Grow Old, But Inside His Spirit Can Still Be As Young And As Restless As Ever.

Ive Read An Awful Lot Of Books, Ive Read Alot Of Awful Books

You Don't Retire From The Movies. The Movies Retire You.

People Say To Me, Why Did You Do Those Films, And I Say, For Money. It Wasn't For Diamond Rings Or Kidney Shaped Swimming Pools In Beverly Hills, It Was In Order To Improve The Lot Of Everyone Around Me.

Someone Said To Me The Other Day: "well, You're Eventually Going To Live Until 110." And I Said: "well, Who's Going To Keep Me? What Age Do I Retire? 100?" How Are You Going To Live All Those Years And Who Is Going To Keep You Doing It? I Have A Couple Of Grandchildren Now So I'm Banking On Them.

As An Actor, My Attitude Towards Using Of Film Versus Digital Is, If You Have Film, Filmmakers Have To Cut Eventually So You Don't Have To Learn All That Dialogue. With Digital, They Can Just Go On Forever And It's A Nightmare. So, I Like Film - Nice Short Takes.

Growing Up, There Was Only Classical Music On Bbc Radio. We Had To Listen To The American Forces Network In Germany, Which Played Pop Songs, Or The Pirate Radio Boats Off The Coast.

When I Was 6 My Father Went To Fight In The War, So He Was My Big Hero. I Thought He Was The Greatest Thing.

For All My Education, Accomplishments, And So Called 'wisdom'... I Can't Fathom My Own Heart.

I Felt A Tremendous Sadness For Men Who Can't Deal With A Woman Of Their Own Age.

Movie Acting Is About Covering The Machinery. Stage Acting Is About Exposing The Machinery. In Cinema, You Should Think The Actor Is Playing Himself, If He's That Good. It Looks Very Easy. It Should. But It's Not, I Assure You.

I Have A Knack Of Making Villainous People A Little Bit Sympathetic, A Bit Of Fun On Screen.

By The Time The Oscars Are On I'll Be Seventy. How Many More Chances Am I Going To Have To Get Nominated For An Oscar?

When I Look In The Mirror, I See Someone Who's Happy With How He Looks, Because I Was Never One Of The Handsome Hollywood People. And I've Had Success As I've Gotten Older, Because I'm Able To Play Characters. I No Longer Get The Girl, But I Get The Part.

No Matter What The Reason, If You Start To Scream And Shout, You Look A Fool, And You Feel A Fool, And You Earn The Disrespect Of Everyone.

It's Much Harder To Act In A Bad Film Than In A Good One. A Terrible Script Makes For Very Difficult Acting. You Can Win An Academy Award For Some Of The Easiest Acting In Your Career, Made Possible By A Brilliant Script.

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You Don't Sacrifice Your Individuality; You Sacrifice A Lot Of Freedom.

When I'm Doing An Accent, You Shouldn't Notice It For A While, If I'm Doing It Right.

A Lot Of My Best Parts I've Been The Second Choice For, So You Never Get Too Egotistical About Anything.

I Spent My Entire Time Reading Books And Going To The Cinema, Just To Escape.

In England, I Was A Cockney Actor. In America, I Was An Actor.

My View Is That You Should Always Remake Failures Because Then You've Got Nowhere To Go But Up.

My Dialogue Coach Said To Do A Texas Accent, You Lean On The Next Word, And That Was The Clue To Me.

The American Cinema In General Always Made Stories About Working-class People; The British Rarely Did. Any Person With My Working-class Background Would Be A Villain Or A Comic Cipher, Usually Badly Played, And With A Rotten Accent. There Weren't A Lot Of Guys In England For Me To Look Up To.

You Don't Make Any Money When You're My Age. The Stars Get It All. That's A Lie, Actually.

Nobody's A Criminal To Himself. I Never Play A Criminal Like A Bad Person.

There Is No Point In Competing With Young Talent...i Just Concentrate On Getting Better Each Day.

I Am In So Many Movies That Are On Tv At 2:00 A.m. That People Think I Am Dead.

Am I A Car Aficionado? No: For Me, Cars Have Always Been Just For Transport. I Didn't Even Know Anyone Who Had A Car Until I Was 14 Or 15.

Be Patient.of Course It Will Come. It Took Me Years To Get An Oscar.

If You Go Away On Location For Three Months And Your Wife Stays At Home, You've Made A Whole New Load Of Friends And She's Made A Whole New Load Of Friends And You Get Home And You're Kind Of Strangers.

No English Director Would've Cast Me As An Officer, I Promise You. Not One.

80 Percent Of Any Gang Is Not There To Attack Someone. They're There So No One Will Attack Them.

Be Like A Duck. Calm On The Surface, But Always Paddling Like The Dickens Underneath.

The Trouble With Women? Elbows.

The First Actor I Ever Saw Was The Lone Ranger. I Thought: "that's What I Want To Do."

I Never Listened To The People Who Said I Should Give It Up, Which Is The Main Advice I Got.

Obsession Is A Young Man's Game, And My Only Excuse Is That I Never Grew Old.

If I See Any Injustice Done, I Have A Big Enough Mouth And The Position To Open Up About It.

I Learn The Whole Time. I Think It Would Be Dull If I Thought I Was Going To Work And Wouldn't Find Something New. We Always Learn.

The Basic Rule Of Human Nature Is That Powerful People Speak Slowly And Subservient People Quickly - Because If They Don't Speak Fast Enough, Nobody Will Listen To Them.

I Think What Is British About Me Is My Feelings And Awareness Of Others And Their Situations. English People Are Always Known To Be Well Mannered And Cold But We Are Not Cold - We Don't Interfere In Your Situation. If We Are Heartbroken, We Don't Scream In Your Face With Tears - We Go Home And Cry On Our Own.

I Feel Like 35. At 35 You're Old Enough To Know Something And Young Enough To Look Forward To What You Can Do With The Knowledge. So I Stayed At 35!

My Understanding Of Women Goes Only As Far As The Pleasures.

I Had An Extraordinary Belief In Myself. For Years People Told Me To Give It Up And Even Though I Was Poverty- Stricken, I Never Thought I Should Give It Up.

There Are Loads Of Black Actors.you Can't Say: I'm Going To Vote For Him, He's Not Very Good But He's Black, [so] I'll Vote For Him. You've Got To Give A Good Performance.

I Spent 30 Years Of My Life Not Being Wanted At All For Films.

I Usually Control The Environment I'm In, But My Control Is Very Quiet And Subtle.

I Didn't Know What I Knew. I Wasn't Aware Of What I Knew.

Just Because I Have Made A Point Of Never Losing My Accent It Doesn't Mean I'm An Eel-and-pie Yob.

When You Reach The Top, That's When The Climb Begins.

A Lot Of Movie Stars Are Not Great Actors; They're Just Very Good-looking. And When They Start To Age And They Don't Have The Looks Any More, Then It's Over.

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