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My Mother And I Will Continue On Some Level That I Havent Determined Yet. I Think My Mothers A Great Character, And I Have To Say That Giving My Mother To The World Has To Be The Biggest Thrill Of My Writing Career.

-James Ellroy

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My Mother And I

James Ellroy

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My Mother And I Will Continue On Some Level That I Havent Determined Yet. I Think My Mothers A Great Character, And I Have To Say That Giving My Mother To The World Has To Be The Biggest Thrill Of My Writing Career.

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Every One Of My Books Is Written From The Viewpoint Of Cops, With The Exception Of My Book Killer On The Road, Which Is Written From The Viewpoint Of A Serial Killer.

I'm Not Interested In Popular Culture. I Hate Quentin Tarantino. I Rarely Go To Movies. I Hate Rock 'n' Roll. I Work. I Think. I Listen To Classical Music. I Brood. I Like Sports Cars.

I Am A Writer. I Could Not Afford To Take 15 Months Off From My Writing Career To Play Detective.

The 250-page Outline For American Tabloid. The Books Are So Dense. They're So Complex, You Cannot Write Like I Write Off The Top Of Your Head. It's The Combination Of That Meticulousness And The Power Of The Prose And, I Think, The Depth Of The Characterizations And The Risks That I've Taken With Language That Give The Books Their Clout. And That's Where I Get Pissed Off At A Lot Of My Younger Readers.

As A Kid, I Sensed History Going On All Around Me, But The Basic Thrust Of It Didn't Move Me.

I Think The Great Unspoken Theme In Noir Fiction Is Male Self-pity. It Pervades Noir Movies.

I Kept Saying, "stop Me Now. It's Going To My Head." I Got Some Photos. Really, I Did! It's Not My Noblest Sexual Self In These Moments, But I Want To Have Fun. I Want To Undress. I Get Off My Leash To Go Out And Perform. Some Other Writers Are Just Discomforted By The Way I Behave In Public. Because They're Loath To Perform.

My Father Actually Went To College, And My Mother Went To Nursing School, So, You Know. I Wouldn't... They Were Actually Too Square And Right-wing To Be Hip, Too Well-educated To Be White Trash, Too Sexy To Be Square. They Really Didn't Fit Any Mold. They Weren't Really Hipsters. They Were Just - They Were Two Of A Kind, Those Two.

I Would Like To Provoke Ambiguous Responses In My Readers.

L.a. Ispolluted. It's Overpopulated. But It Is Very Much Home. It Was Inevitable For Me, The Moving Back. I Was Living In San Francisco, And Joan Broke It Off With Me, And I Needed A Place To Live. I'd Been Divorced. And I Needed To Write Movies And Tv Shows To Earn A Living. Alimony. All That. So I Figured What The Hell, I'll Go Back To L.a.

Rock And Rollers Can Get You The Youth Buzz, And Younger People Are Fanatical Readers.

Where’s Your Sketch Pad?” I Asked. … “i Gave That Up,” Kay Said. “i Wasn’t Very Good, So I Changed My Major.” “to What?” “to Pre-med, Then Psychology, Then English Lit, Then History.” “i Like A Woman Who Knows What She Wants.” Kay Smiled. “so Do I, But I Don’t Know Any.

I Wanted Things. Whatever It Cost And Whatever It Took, I Would Do It. And That's It.

The Truth Of The Matter Is, You Lose A Parent To Murder When You're 10 Years Old, And In Fact At The Time Of The Murder You Hate Your Lost Parent, My Mother In My Case.

I Don't Think I Came Out Of Anybody. I Think I Developed Out Of The Influences I Described In My Dark Places. American History, L.a. Of The 1950s. I'm Comfortable With That.

The 1950s To Me Is Darkness, Hidden History, Perversion Behind Most Doors Waiting To Creep Out. The 1950s To Most People Is Kitsch And Mickey Mouse Watches And All This Intolerable Stuff.

The Lunatic Populism That Preceded The Pearl Harbor Bombing Is Astonishing In Its Permutations, Its Crisscrossings. Guys Like [catholic Priest And Controversial Radio Broadcaster] Father Coughlin And [racist And Anti-semitic Agitator And Founder Of The Christian Nationalist Crusade] Gerald L.k. Smith Started Out As Share-the-wealth Socialists.

As Much As I Transferred My Mother To Elizabeth Shore Of The Black Dahlia, As Much As Her Dad Mutated Into An Obsession With Crime In General, Well, I Have Thought About Other Things Throughout The Years.

Cats Gotta Scratch. Dogs Gotta Bite. I Gotta Write.

The Novel Is Final Form; It's The Ultimate Individual Final Form. Television And Motion Pictures Never Get There. You'd Be Fabulous To Think That Something You Write Is Even Going To Be Filmed. I Give It The Best Shot Of Which I'm Capable. But It's More A Payday For Me. And If I Didn't Have Alimony And The Full-time Assistant.

All I Want To Do Is Make Serious Movies That Explore Social Issues And Turn A Profit, And Slip The Schnitzel To Jane Depugh.

And You Love To Read, You Love To Escape, Right?

Anybody Who Doesn't Know That Politics Is Crime Has Got A Few Screws Loose.

I Got A Woman I'm Loyal To Above All Things, Above My Career. She's Profound To Me. I'm Quiet. I Live In Kansas City. I Work.

Joe Wambaugh's A Friend. I Know Him Only Casually, But I Like Him A Lot. I Think He Likes My Books.

I Love Thinking About American History, Thinking About La History. I Love Brooding On Crime.

American History

I Was In L.a. In '08. It Was A Cold Saturday Night. I Had Spread My Phone Number Out To A Score Of Women And Was Just Indulging This Sweet, Sad, Elegiac, Bale Loneliness - Don't Tell Me You Haven't Been There.

Some People Don’t Respond To Civility.

I Think I'm Out Of Crime Fiction Now, And I Think The Dividing Line Is American Tabloid.

Dead People Belong To The Live People Who Claim Them Most Obsessively.

How Did I Change My Life? I Wanted Things. I Wanted Women And I Wanted To Write Books.

Changing My Life

I Don't Want To Recover From Writing This Book [the Onion]. I Feel Very Poised. I Feel Like I'm With My Mother For The First Time Ever. I Feel Like I've Confronted Her, And The Confrontation Goes On.

Noir Is Dead For Me Because Historically, I Think It's A Simple View. I've Taken It As Far As It Can Go. I Think I've Expanded On It A Great Deal, Taken It Further Than Any Other American Novelist.

You Get Up In The Morning Because You Might Meet A Woman. And If You Stay At Home By Yourself, Alone, You Will Not Meet A Woman.

I'm Grateful For The Life I Have. I Lived Bad For Many Years, And I've Got A Great Life Now. I've Got The Kind Of Life People Only Dream About.

Classical Music Fulfills For Me The Function Of Narrative. I Spend 90 Minutes A Day Listening To Symphonic Music - Beethoven To Bartók - Some Chamber Pieces, And That's My Enrichment.

I'm Trying To Be Less Bombastic. I Love My Books. I Think I've Done Things Nobody Else Has Done.

I Was A Wasp Kid Going To A High School That Was 99 Percent Jewish And I Wanted Attention And I Wanted To Make A Spectacle Of Myself Because I Couldn't Stand To Be Ignored.

For A Much Lauded Writer, I'm Not Terribly Self-absorbed. In Social Situations, Which Are Difficult For Me - I Mean, This Is An Interview - I'm Normally Uncomfortable Talking About Myself.

I Almost Had An Intransigent Mental Spirit. I Always Wanted Things.

[raymond] Chandler, I Reread Him, And There's A Lot Of Bad Writing There. I Don't Think He Knew Much About People.

Raymond Chandler Once Wrote That Dashiell Hammett Gave Murder Back To The People Who Really Committed It.

I Have Insane Curiosity As To What Happened In All These Events. I Will Never Know. I'm Not A Researcher. I Don't Possess That Kind Of Mind. I Have A Researcher Who Compiles The Fact Sheets And Chronologies That Allow Me To Write These Big Books Of Mine.

I Want To Have Enough Data, So I Won't Write Myself Into Thin Air, So That I Can Extrapolate And Give You This Secret Human Infrastructure. The Only Way I Sate My Own Curiosity Is To Create This From Scratch. There Must Be Commanding Love Stories. There Must Be Great Moral Cost.

She Quoted A Dead Playwright And Called Me A Bullet With Nothing But A Future. She Understood My Lack Of Self-pity. She Knew Why I Despised Everything That Might Restrict My Forward Momentum. She Knew That Bullets Have No Conscience. They Speed Past Things And Miss Their Marks As Often As They Hit Them.

I Like To Be Alone So I Can Write. But Focus Can Hurt You. I Don't Want To Be Some Stress Casualty In Early Middle Age.

You're Grounded!!!! You Can't Go Out And Prowl The L.a. Streets. You've Got To Do Something More Edifying, Emboldening And Altogether More Groovy. You Gots To Stay Home Tonite And Read A Good Book!!!!!!!!!!

Anything Less Than Total Candor Was Bullshit. I Owed That To My Readers, I Owed That To Myself, And I Owed That Most Specifically To My Mother. I've Had Some Thrilling Moments In My 18-year Literary Career To This Point, And Nothing Comes Close To Giving Geneva Hilliker Ellroy, The Farm Girl From Tunnel City, Wisconsin, To The World.

The Wildest Ride In Modern Crime Novel Exoticum. A Novel So Steeped In Milieu That It Feels As If You've Blasted To Mars In The Grip Of A Demon Who Won't Let You Go. Read This Book, Savor The Language-it's The Last-and The Most Compelling Word In Thrillers.

There's None With Me, Although You've Seen Me Before - I'm Outrageous.

It Was Easy Not To Think Of My Future; I Didn't Have One.

Closure Is A Preposterous Concept Worthy Of The Worst Aspects Of American Daytime Tv.

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Our Shared World Is Humanly Unquantifiable And Ideologically Confused. Which One Of Them Is Capable Of Implementing The Most Recognizable Harm Or Good?

I Am Conservative By Temperament. I Disapprove Of Criminal Activity. I Am Very Solidly And Markedly On The Side Of Authority. The Truth Is I Would Rather Err On The Side Of Too Much Authority Than Too Little.

History Is A State Of Yearning. I Yearn For Kay Lake Throughout This Entire Thing. There's An Essay I've Written Where I Talked About Living In The Past. There's A Whole Motif In The Book Of Then And Now. And I Lived There.

And The Only Forms Of Socialism In The World That Were Then Getting Results - Malign Ones, As It Was - Were The Fascist And Soviet Republics. Fascism Is A Form Of Socialism - You Rebuild The Country, You Find A Scapegoat, And You Go From There.

I Don't Feel In Any Way Obligated To Remain Current With The Culture. I Feel No Social Obligation Whatsoever. I Trust My Morality In The Narrow Path I Trek Through The World As I Work.

I'd Never Been Interested In The Kennedy Assassination Until '88, When I Read Libra. And From That Point, I Went Out And Bought The Existing Kennedy Theory Books, Most Of Which Are Outlandish. But What Delillo Posits - Some Rogue Cia Guys - Is The Most Dramatically Sound, Plausible Explanation For It.

I Drank, I Used Drugs, I Broke Into Houses, Sniffed Women's Undergarments. I Ate Benzedrex Inhalers, Jacked Off For 18 Hours At A Pop, Lived With My Dad In A Shitpad.

Other People, Some Other Writers, Will Win Certain Accolades Or Sell In Far Greater Numbers Than Me - And I'm A Legitimate Best-selling Author - But I Live And Die For The Work. That's Thrilling To Me. It's Thrilling That I Do For Others What Certain Writers Did For Me When I Was A Kid.

I'm Way Past The Idea Of Using Ideology Or Political View As A Gauge Of Human Character. I Simply Don't Believe It. And Many People, I Tend To Think Most People, Feel That Way. Since I Don't Have To Worry About It, I'm Happy.

I Don't Think I Will Write Anything That Could Be Even Remotely Considered A Genre Novel From This Point On. I Think I've Graduated.

It's All Sex For Me. Politics Is Sex. Race Is Sex. It's The Novel. It's The Novel!

I Don't Have Children. I Serve The World And I Serve God By Living As Deep Within My Work As I Can, Reveling In The Language Of Other Times And Putting It Forth For The World.

As Critical Acclaim And Response Has Built Up, Every Interview I Give Is A Chance To Puncture The Myth I've Created About My Work And Refine It.

I Learn Things Late-and Only The Hard Way.

Periodically I Just Notch Up. And Everyone Among My Colleagues Thinks That Perfidia - In Its Accessibility, Its Big Throbbing Heart - Will Be The Biggest Notch Up Yet. We'll See What Happens. It's On My Ass.

I Begin By Assembling Notes On Characters. Large Swaths Of The Plot Become Clear To Me As I Do This.

America Was Never Innocent. We Popped Our Cherry On The Boat Over And Looked Back With No Regrets. You Can't Ascribe Our Fall From Grace To Any Single Event Or Set Of Circumstances. You Can't Lose What You Lacked At Conception.

If I Wanted To Make Money I Would Have Written Another Novel.

Tell Me Anything. Tell Me Everything. Revoke Our Time Apart. Love Me Fierce In Danger.

I Don't Know Anybody In The Underworld. I Make This Stuff Up. I Don't Know Any Criminals.

My Role Relationship To The Event Will Continue To Mutate. My Relationship To My Mother Will Continue To Change As I Revise My Judgments Of Her Depending On What I Learn About Her. It Goes On. But I Feel No Less Obsessive About My Work And No Less Passionately Committed To The Life I Have Now, But I Feel Poised Inside. Which Is A Good Thing To Feel At 48.

I Wanted To Portray A Newly Democratized, Enclosed Society. I Wanted To Show How Extraordinarily Fluid People Are In Their Embrace Of Other Human Beings.

I Am The Most Well-adjusted Human Being I Know. I Started Out This Investigation As A Very Happy Man With A Great Career. I've Got The Life People Dream About: I Am Rich, I Am Famous, I've Got A Fabulous Marriage To An Absolutely, Spell-bindingly Brilliant Woman.

My Guys Are Morally Weak, And They Reach Toward A Tenuous Knowledge Of Self-sacrifice, And Sometimes It's Too Late. I Find That Moving. It's Not A Life I'd Want To Live. But, Then, I'm Not Completely My Books.

Some Men Get The World, Some Men Get Ex-hookers And A Trip To Arizona. You're In With The Former, But My God I Don't Envy The Blood On Your Conscience.

I've Been Tremendously Moved By A Bunch Of Odd Books. Ross Mcdonald Is Very Important To Me. I Love The Lew Archer Books.

Sometimes I'll Leave The House And Go To A Delicatessen Down The Street From Me - It's Been There A Million Years - Just Because I Can Look At People.

We Do. Or Re-create The Ones We Have, And Project. My Whole Life Is Projection.

To Me, There's Nothing On Earth Other Than Women. It's Why I Get Out Of Bed Every Morning.

When I Was A Kid, Eisenhower Had Been President Forever, And All Of A Sudden, Everything In The World Was All About Jack Kennedy. I Was 12, Interested In Politics; My Father Was From Massachusetts, Had An Accent Like Kennedy.

I'm Getting A Wider Circle Of Fans Now. More Women, More Middle Class People.

I've Created A Narrative Of The World. I Live In The World - Tenuously, Most Times. I've Avoided The Digital World.

You Try To Learn Who You Are. You Work Hard. You've Either Got It Or You Don't When It Comes To Writing Books. And You Tend To Only Get These Things If You Want Them, And Want Them To The Exclusion Of Everything Else.

I Cleaned Up. I Quit Drinking, I Quit Doing Drugs, I Quit Stealing, I Quit Breaking Into Houses, I Tried To Quit Being A Bad Human Being. I Developed A Conscience Later In Life Than Many. I Call It The Lost-time-regained Dynamic.

In The Time Just Before The Bombing Of Pearl Harbor, When Perfidia Opens, We Were Pre-psychologized. There Were No Concepts Of Identity, No Politics Of Victimization. Reparation Wasn't In The Language. Nobody Thought About Giving The Great Grandchildren Of Black Slaves So Much As $1.98. And All Of A Sudden The Bombs Hit, Interventionism Versus Isolationism Became A Dead Issue, And It Was Us-versus-them In A Heartbeat.

I Am A Master Of Fiction. I Am Also The Greatest Crime Novelist Who Ever Lived. I Am To The Crime Novel In Specific What Tolstoy Is To The Russian Novel And What Beethoven Is To Music.

I Don't Have A Cellphone Or A Computer. I Deliberately Circumscribe My Mental Life Within The Periods That I Write About, And The Power Of Perfidia Is That It's The Result Of Complete Immersion. I Was There For The Two Years That It Took Me To Write That Book.

I Needed To Address That I've Had Some Profound Moral Shifts In My Own Life.

There Are A Lot Of Ellroy Lifts, Man. This Guy Went To School. But Then There's A Willful Thing That Comes Over Me - God Gives It To Me - Where I Go, "that's Real Nice, Let's Just Go Home, Pat Yourself On The Back, Good Dog, Good Dog, And Wake Up In The Morning And Go To Work."

L.a.: Come On Vacation, Go Home On Probation.

I Always Cringe When A Male Friend Of Mine, Who's Very Fixated On Women, Puts "compatibility" At The Top Of His List Of Attributes That He Would Be Looking For In A Woman. I Would Replace Compatibility With Dialectic.

I Like To Have Fun Out There. I Work Hard, And Then I Get To Cut Loose And Go Out And Tour, And I Enjoy It. I Like To Go Out And Meet The People. I Love To Sell Books.

When I Look At Perfidia, I Think, "that's A Pulitzer Prize Winner. That's A National Book Award Winner." It's Not Going To Get It. It's Going To Be Shelved In Crime And It's Just The Way It Is. I've Done Something That No One Else Has Ever Done; I've Started Out As A Mystery Writer, A Police Writer, And A Crime Writer, And I Became Something Entirely Different.

My Mother And I Will Continue On Some Level That I Havent Determined Yet. I Think My Mothers A Great Character, And I Have To Say That Giving My Mother To The World Has To Be The Biggest Thrill Of My Writing Career.

Well, The Clues Are There. They Always Are. Which Is Why When Crimes Are Solved Decades After The Fact, It's Obvious That The Clues Had Always Been Right In Front Of Them. A Traffic Ticket In Brooklyn Is How They Got ["son Of Sam" Serial Killer] David Berkowitz. You've Just Got To Look.

I Work Within The Framework Of A Very Concerted, Purely Driven Protestant Christian Mindset. I Had Dark Early Circumstances. I Went Inward. I Have A Sturdy Will. I Have A Big Heart. I'm A Decent Guy. And I Have A Great Gift. It's Blunted Me To The World In Many Ways.

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