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My Kind [vampires] Does Not Surprise Easily," He Said. "you Surprised Me, This Morning. I Have Thus Used Up My Full Quota Of Shock And Consternation For Some Interval." I Stared At Him. "you Made A *joke*." "i Have Heard This Kind Of Thing May Happen.

-Robin McKinley

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My Kind [vampires] Does

Robin McKinley

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My Kind [vampires] Does Not Surprise Easily," He Said. "you Surprised Me, This Morning. I Have Thus Used Up My Full Quota Of Shock And Consternation For Some Interval." I Stared At Him. "you Made A *joke*." "i Have Heard This Kind Of Thing May Happen.

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Mice Are Terribly Chatty. They Will Chat About Anything, And If There Is Nothing To Chat About, They Will Chat About Having Nothing To Chat About. Compared To Mice, Robins Are Reserved.

I Wondered What You'd Have On The Side With A Plate Of Deep Fried Anxiety. Pickles? Coleslaw? Potato-strychnine Mash?

There Had Been Certain Romantic Interludes In The Past That Had Included Galloping Across The Desert At Night; But He Had Never Abducted Any Woman Whose Enthusiastic Support For Such A Plan Had Not Been Secured Well In Advance.

I Smiled. "i Understand Now. But It Doesn't Matter And You Needn't Apologize. They Have Been Very Kind To Me Too. Even If We Did Differ A Little About Suitable Dresses." He Considered Me A Moment, A Mischievous Light Creeping Into His Eyes, And Said: "was That The Dress - That Night You Wouldn't Come Out Of Your Room?" I Grinned And Nodded, And We Both Laughed.

The Story Is Always Better Than Your Ability To Write It. My Belief About This Is That If You Ever Get To The Point That You Think You've Done A Story Justice, You're In The Wrong Business.

Cigars Should Be Like Onions," She Said, Unfastening The Catch And Pushing Back The Pane. "either The Whole Company Does, Or The Whole Company Does Not.

One Day" She Told Them, "when You Have Retired, You Will Go To Live With A Family Who Will Love You For Your Beauty And Nothing More, And If You're Very Lucky There Will Be Children, And The Children Will Pet You And Pet You And Pet You. Ossin Has A List, I Think, Of Such Children; He Sends His Hunting-staff Out During The Months They Are Not Needed For That Work, To Look For Them, And Add Names To The List." The Fleethounds Stared Back At Her With Their Enormous Dark Liquid Eyes, And Believed Every Word.

The Insides Of Our Own Minds Are The Scariest Things There Are.

Beauty: "you Called Me Beautiful Last Night." Beast: "you Do Not Believe Me Then?" Beauty: "well - No. Any Number Of Mirrors Have Told Me Otherwise." Beast: "you Will Find No Mirrors Here, For I Cannot Bear Them: Nor Any Quiet Water In Ponds. And Since I Am The Only One Who Sees You, Why Are You Not Then Beautiful?

Can You Trust Me, He Said. Not Will You. Can You. Can I Trust Him? What Do I Have To Lose?

He Grunted; She Recognized It As Relief That She Wasn't Going To Nag Him Further About Tor The Just, Who Probably Wasn't That Boring If He Could Hold Off The Notherners For Nine Days And Melt A Hole In The Hills.

She Poured The Water, Arranged Some Bread Near Enough The Embers To Scorch But Not Catch Fire, And Looked Up At Little John. She Was So Accustomed To His Step, To His Bulk, That It Took A Moment To Notice His Face; And When She Did . . . It Was, She Thought, Rather Like The Moment It Took To Realize One Had Cut One's Finger As One Stared Dumbly At The First Drop Of Blood On The Knife-blade. You Know It Is Going To Hurt Quite A Lot In A Minute.

It Goes Something Like 'there Are A Lot Of Ways To Be Yourself.

...my Friend, There Are Some Things That I Cannot Tell You. Some I Will Tell You In Time; Some, Others Will Tell You; Some You May Never Know, Or You May Be The First To Find The Answers.

Mathin Said: "it Is Best To Take Your Opponent's Sash. The Kysin Mark Each Blow Dealt, But To Cut Off The Other Rider's Sash Is Best. This You Will Do." "oh," Said Harry. "you May, If You Wish, Unhorse Him First," Mathin Added As An Afterthought. "thanks," Said Harry.

One Of The Biggest, And Possibly The Biggest, Obstacle To Becoming A Writer... Is Learning To Live With The Fact That The Wonderful Story In Your Head Is Infinitely Better, Truer, More Moving, More Fascinating, More Perceptive, Than Anything You're Going To Manage To Get Down On Paper.

Tiny Fists Can Hurt Quite A Lot When They Hit You In The Face.

It Was Too Important A Matter, This Talking To People, And Listening To Them, To Do It Lightly Or Often.

I Long For Another Human Face Just As I Fear It.

Write What You Want To Read. The Person You Know Best In This World Is You. Listen To Yourself. If You Are Excited By What You Are Writing, You Have A Much Better Chance Of Putting That Excitement Over To A Reader.

It Seems To Me Further, That It Is Very Odd That Fate Should Leave So Careful A Trail, And Spend So Little Time Preparing The One That Must Follow It.

My Kind [vampires] Does Not Surprise Easily," He Said. "you Surprised Me, This Morning. I Have Thus Used Up My Full Quota Of Shock And Consternation For Some Interval." I Stared At Him. "you Made A *joke*." "i Have Heard This Kind Of Thing May Happen.

He Laughed, Tried To Make It Into A Cough, Inhaled At Exactly The Wrong Moment, And Then Really Did Cough.

We Kings Do Develop A Certain Ability To Recognize Objects Under Our Noses.

I've Always Been Fascinated By The Grassroots Folktale Level Of A Culture, And As A Storyteller, I Have To Follow What Seems To Be Leading Me On.

Charlie Is One Of The Big Good Guys In My Universe.

It Doesn't Matter If I'm Only To Be Gone Four Days, As In This Case; I Take Six Months' Supply Of Reading Material Everywhere. Anyone Who Needs Further Explication Of This Eccentricity Can Find It Usefully Set Out In The First Pages Of W. Somerset Maugham's Story "the Book-bag.

I Said: "he Cannot Be So Bad If He Loves Roses So Much." "but He Is A Beast," Said Father Helplessly. I Saw That He Was Weakening, And Wishing Only To Comfort Him I Said, "cannot A Beast Be Tamed?"

Tsornin's Nostrils Showed Red, But His Ears Were As Alert As Ever, And Occasionally He Would Rub His Nose Gently Against The Nape Of Her Neck, Just In Case She Was Momentarily Not Thinking About Him.

At Least I Was True. My Intellectual Abilities Gave Me A Release, And An Excuse. I Shunned Company Because I Preferred Books; And The Dreams I Confided To My Father Were Of Becoming A Scholar In Good Earnest, And Going To University. It Was Unheard-of Several Shocked Governesses Were Only Too Quick To Tell Me, When I Spoke A Little Too Boldly -- But My Father Nodded And Smiled And Said, 'we'll See.' Since I Believed My Father Could Do Anything -- Except Of Course Make Me Pretty -- I Worked And Studied With Passionate Dedication, Lived In Hope, And Avoided Society And Mirrors.

The Great Thing About Fantasy Is That You Can Drag Dreams And Longings And Hopes And Fears And Strivings Out Of Your Subconscious And Call Them 'magic' Or 'dragons' Or 'faeries' And Get To Know Them Better. But Then I Write The Stuff. Obviously I'm Prejudiced.

What Was New Was The Fact That, Despite My Heart Doing Its Fight-or-flight, Help-we're-prey-and-hey-stupid-that's-a-vampire Number, I Was Glad To See Him. Ridiculous But True. Scary But True.

The Weak Grey Light That Serves As Harbinger Of Red And Golden Dawn Faintly Lit My Window. I Fumbled For A Candle, Found And Lit It, And By Its Little Light Saw That The Rose Floating In The Bowl Was Dying. It Had Already Lost Most Of Its Petals, Which Floated On The Water Like Tiny, Un-seaworthy Boats, Deserted For Safer Craft. "dear God," I Said. "i Must Go Back At Once.

But It Was Equally Clear To Her That This Was Her Fate, That She Had Called Its Name And It Had Come To Her, And She Could Do Nothing Now But Own It.

There Are Things You Don't Want To Know You Can Do

I Found That The Only Way I Could Control This Sorrow Was Not To Think Of [it] At All, Which Was Almost As Painful As The Loss Itself.

Because She Was A Princess She Had A Pegasus.

What Was She To Say? "the Prodigal Has Returned? The Mutineer Wishes To Be Reinstated? The Subordinate, Having Gone To A Great Deal Of Trouble To Prove Her Commander Wrong, Has Come Back And Promises To Be A Good Little Subordinate Hereafter, Or At Least Until Next Time?

...there Remained A Strange Formality Between Them, And Her Pleasure In His Presence Felt Too Much Like Missing Him Had Felt During The Last Week.

It's Hard To Look Too Grand When You're Led By Someone Who Looks Like A Pudding With Legs.

My Capacity For Invention Is Flash Hot Stark, I Thought. Sucker Sunshade. Disembodied Radar-reconnaissance. Not To Mention Bitter Chocolate Death And Killer Zebras. Pity About The Rest Of Me.

Why Do You Tell Me... So Much?" Luthe Considered Her. "i Tell You... Some You Need To Know, And Some You Have Earned The Right To Know, And Some It Won't Hurt You To Know--" He Stopped.... "some Things I Tell You Only Because I Wish To Tell Them To You.

So, What Do You Do When You Know You Have Two Days To Live? Eat An Entire Bitter Chocolate Death Cake All By Myself. Reread My Favorite Novel. Buy Eight Dozen Roses From The Best Florist In Town--the Super Expensive Ones, The Ones That Smell Like Roses Rather Than Merely Looking Like Them--and Put Them All Over My Apartment. Take A Good Long Look At Everyone I Love.

You Are Attempting To Be Logical, I Suspect, And Logic Has Little To Do With Government, And Nothing At All To Do With Military Administration.

My Sheets Had Never Been So Clean As They Had In The Past Few Months. I Hardly Got Them On Again Before Something Else Happened And I Was Feverishly Ripping Them Off And Stuffing Them In The Wash With Double Amounts Of Soap And All The "extra" Buttons Pushed: Extra Wash, Extra Rinse, Extra Water, Extra Spin, Extra Protection Against Things That Go Bump In The Night.

Cats Were Often Familiars To Workers Of Magic Because To Anyone Used To Wrestling With Self-willed, Wayward, Devious Magic--which Was What All Magic Was--it Was Rather Soothing To Have All The Same Qualities Wrapped Up In A Small, Furry, Generally Attractive Bundle That...might, If It Were In A Good Mood, Sit On Your Knee And Purr. Magic Never Sat On Anybody's Knee And Purred.

I Like That: A Little Pressure On The Understood Boundaries Of Yourself. Sounded Like Something Out Of A Self-awareness Class, Probably With Yoga. See What Kind Of A Pretzel You Can Tie Yourself Into And Press On The Understood... I Was Raving, If Only To Myself.

I Love You. I Will Love You Till The Stars Crumble, Which Is A Less Idle Threat Than Is Usual To Lovers On Parting.

But I'm Going To Try To Tell The Truth. Except For The Parts I'm Leaving Out, Because There's Still Stuff I'm Just Not Going To Tell You. Get Used To It.

Telling The Truth

Stay A Little While Longer, And Let Everyone Congratulate You - Including The Ones Who Clearly Don't Want To: In Fact, Especially The Ones Who Clearly Don't Want To. You Don't Have To Say Anything But 'thank You

Congratulations

Roses Are For Love. Not Silly Sweet-hearts' Love But The Love That Makes You And Keeps You Whole, Love That Gets You Through The Worst Your Life'll Give You And That Pours Out Of You When You're Given The Best Instead.

Tell Me Who You Are. You Need Not Tell Me Your Name. Names Have Power, Even Human Ones. Tell Me Where You Live And What You Do With Your Living.

I Like To Assume That Since I Drive A Car And Maintain A Respectable Credit Rating And Rarely Murder Anyone And Bury Them In The Back Garden Unless They Really Deserve It, That The Fact That I Hear Voices Wont Unduly Disturb Anyone.

What I Write, If You Have To Label It, Is Crossover, And I Think That Much Of The Stuff That Is Called Children's Or Ya Is In Fact Crossover And Is Equally Valid For Anyone Who Likes To Read Fantasy.

One Keeps Searching For Ease, She Did Not Say, And Not Finding It, Till The Memories Of No-pain Seem Only Like Daydreams.

...but With The Hours I Sometimes Kept At The Coffeehouse I Had To Have Learned To Take Naps During The Day Or Die, And I Had Learned To Take Naps. Up Until Five Months Ago "something Or Other Or Die" Had Always Seemed Like A Plain Choice In Favor Of The Something Or Other.

He Looked At Her Rather As A Man Looks At A Problem That He Would Very Much Prefer To Do Without. She Supposed It Was A Distinction Of A Sort To Be A Harassment To A King.

As I Have Said, You Have No Reason To Trust Me, And An Excellent Reason Not To.

Oh,' She Said, Too Bone-weary To Pretend: 'i Would Far Rather That I Love You As I Saw Yesterday I Do Than That I Had Gone On Worshiping You As I Did Not Long Since.' And She Turned Away Hastily, And Did Not See That Little John Would Reach Out To Her; And Half-running, Went To Tuck's Cottage, Where She Could Pull On Her Half-dry Clothes, And Become A Proper Outlaw Again. At Least, She Thought, Fighting Back Tears, Like This I Am Cecil, With A Place Among Friends, And A Task To Do. I Am Someone. I Wonder If Perhaps If I Am No Longer Cecil, I Am No One At All.

Laughter Went On And On, Like Sunlight And Stone, Even If The Human Beings Who Laughed Did Not.

But The Uproar This Caused Was Nothing Compared With The Uproar When Katronia Noticed [rosie] Had Also Cut Her Eyelashes. Various Negotiations (including, Finally, Such Desperate Measures As "supposing You Ever Want To Eat Again") Eventually Produced The Grudging Promise That, In Return For Katronia Keeping Her Hair Cut Short, She Would Leave Her Eyelashes Alone.

Desperate Measures

Feeling At Peace, However Fragilely, Made It Easy To Slip Into The Visionary End Of The Dark-sight. The Rose Shadows Said That They Loved The Sun, But That They Also Loved The Dark, Where Their Roots Grew Through The Lightless Mystery Of The Earth. The Roses Said: You Do Not Have To Choose.

[gonturan] Is A True Friend, But A Friend With Thoughts Of Her Own, And The Thoughts Of Others Are Dangerous.

The Touch Of Evil Poisons By The Idea Of It. Reject The Idea, And You've Rejected The Evil

Yes, I Am Letting My Own Experience Color My Answer, Which Is What Experience Is For.

Betrayal Would Be A Different Sort Of Sick.

He Will Apologize, Or I'll Give Him A Lesson In Swordplay He Will Not Like At All.

When They Finished Laughing They Were On Their Way To Being Not Just Friends, But The Dearest Of Friends, The Sort Of Friends Whose Lives Are Shaped By The Friendship.

The Bus Timetable Sites Are All Run By An Inbred Cabal Of Malicious Gnomes. Who Don’t Speak English. And Who Don’t Count Very Well Either. Or Tell Time. And They Certainly Can’t Read Maps.

Friends You Will Have Need Of, For In You Two Worlds Meet. There Is No One On Both Sides With You, So You Must Learn To Take Your Own Counsel; And Not To Fear What Is Strange, If You Know It Also To Be True. —luthe

The Train Is Roaring Toward You And The Villain Is Twirling His Moustache And You're Fussing That He's Tied You To The Tracks With The Wrong Kind Of Rope.

But The World Turns, And Even Legends Change; And Somewhere There Is A Border, And Sometime, Perhaps, Someone Will Decide To Cross It, However Well Guarded Its Thorns May Be.

I Don't Differentiate In The Way That The Genre Creators Want Differentiation To Be Made. I Feel That I Have Never Written Children's Or Ya Stories Particularly.

Differentiation

[harry] Had Always Suffered From A Vague Restlessness, A Longing For Adventure That She Told Herself Severely Was The Result Of Reading Too Many Novels When She Was A Small Child.

I Said With Perfect Honest, "i Have No Intention Of Trying To Take These Suckers Out By Myself, No.

She, Too, Spoke Only When The Queen Or King Addressed Her First, But She Looked Searchingly At Every Supplicant, And Her Clear Face Said That She Had Opinions About Everything She Heard, And That It Was Her Proud Duty To Think Out Those Opinions, And Make Them Responsible And Coherent.

...like A Grain Of Sand That Gets Into An Oyster's Shell. What If The Grain Doesn't Want To Become A Pearl? Is It Ever Asked To Climb Out Quietly And Take Up Its Old Position As A Bit Of Ocean Floor?

Never Assume. Never Make Plans. Keep Doing The Press-ups And Deep Knee Bends: You'll Need All Your Strength And Flexibility When Your Life Suddenly Implodes. Maybe It Won't — Some People Do Lead Enchanted Lives — But Odds Are That It Will. Some Time.

Then Marry Me. For I Love You, And I Do Not Believe There Is Anything So Wrong With You. You Are Fair In My Eyes And You Lie Fair On My Heart.

All You Did Was Sit There, He Said. Why Are You So Tired? I Sat Very Diligently, She Said.

It Wasn't So Long Ago When All The So-called Scientists Said That Humans Were Intelligent And That Animals Weren't, Humans Were The Solitary Unchallenged Masters Of The Globe And Probably The Universe And The Only Question Was Whether We Were Handling Our Mastery Well. (no. Next Question.)

Perhaps It Is A Human Thing, To Look Upon Such Beauty And Fail To Encompass It.

...and Again She Wished For Sherwood, And The Dappled Roof Of Leaves That Never Weighed Upon Her. She Pulled Her Scarf Closer Around Her And Thought, I Would Rather Live In A Hut In The Woods; A Hut Like The One Of My First Memories, With A Clean-swept Dirt Floor, And A Brown-eyed Boy Watching Me From Behind His Mother's Skirts As I Watched Him From Behind Mine.

I Don't Believe In Fate," She Said At Last. "but I Do Believe In...loopholes. I Think A Lot Of What Keeps The World Going Is The Result Of Accidents — Happy Or Otherwise — And Taking Advantage Of These.

When You Write Your First Novel You Don't Really Know What You're Doing. There May Be Writers Out There Who Are Brilliant, Incisive And In Control From Their First 'once Upon A Time'. I'm Not One Of Them. Every Once Upon A Time For Me Is Another Experience Of White-water Rafting In A Leaky Inner Tube. And I Have This Theory That While The Story Council Has Its Faults, It Does Have Some Idea That If Books Are Going To Get Written, Authors Have To Be Able To Write Them.

What You Describe Is How It Happens To Everyone: Magic Does Slide Through You, And Disappear, And Come Back Later Looking Like Something Else. And I'm Sorry To Tell You This, But Where Your Magic Lives Will Always Be A Great Dark Space With Scraps You Fumble For. You Must Learn To Sniff Them Out In The Dark.

The Story Is Always Better Than Your Ability To Write It.

If You Try To Breathe Water, You Will Not Turn Into A Fish, You Will Drown; But Water Is Still Good To Drink.

And None At All Has Ridden At The King's Side Since Aerinha, Goddess Of Honor And Flame, First Taught Men To Forge Their Blades. You'd Think Aerinha Would Have Had Better Sense.

He Didn't Look Insane Or Inhuman. He Did Look Uncooperative.

I Get A Little Cranky With The Whole Business About Kids Not Having Attention Spans. This Reminds Me Of The Usual Business Of Thinking That The Next Generation Is Hopeless. Every Generation Has Said That About Every Younger Generation.

I Advise Those Who Want To Become Writers To Study Veterinary Medicine, Which Is Easier. You Don't Want To Be A Writer Unless You Have No Choice - And If You Have No Choice, Good Luck To You.

Oh, Why Does Compassion Weaken Us?' It Doesn't, Really...somewhere Where It All Balances Out-don't The Philosophers Have A Name For It, The Perfect Place, The Place Where The Answers Live?-if We Could Go There, You Could See It Doesn't.it Only Looks, A Little Bit, Like It Does, From Here, Like An Ant At The Foot Of An Oak Tree. He Doesn't Have A Clue That It's A Tree; It's The Beginning Of The Wall Round The World, To Him.

It Is A Much More Straightforward Thing To Be A Dog, And A Dog's Love, Once Given, Is Not Reconsidered.

Straightforward

Those Single-track Military Minds Never Think To Ask Their Cleaning Staff For Help In Giant Lethal Marauding Creature Matters.

Say Yes, Babe, Or I'll Spill You Off Over The Wall Next Time - Got It?

She Laughed At Him Then, Because He Sounded Like A Small Boy, Not Like A Very Large Grown-up Beast With A Voice So Deep It Made The Hair On The Back Of Your Neck Stir When You Heard It. 'but Vegetables Are Good For You,' She Said, And Added Caressingly, 'they Make You Grow Up Big And Strong.' He Smiled, Showing A Great Many Teeth. 'you See Why I Wish To Eat No More Vegetables.

Can't All Beasts Be Tamed?

If You Wish, I Shall Go Personally To Your City And Knock Together The Heads Of Perlith And Galooney.

I Almost Wish I'd Had The Forethought To Eat A Tree Myself.

One Doesn't Generally Look Into Mirrors When One Is Especially Angry; One Has Better Things To Do, Like Pace The Floor Or Throw Things.

For Anyone Who Is: Just Keep Writing. Keep Reading. If You Are Meant To Be A Writer, A Storyteller, It'll Work Itself Out. You Just Keep Feeding It Your Energy, And Giving It That Crucial Chance To Work Itself Out. By Reading And Writing.

And If My Choice Is To Sit Graciously In My Best Robes And Accept The Inevitable Or To Bail A Sea With A Bucket, Give Me The Bucket.

With The Knowledge Of Her Aloneness Came A Rush Of Self-declaration: “i Will Not Be Nothing.”

Sungold Blew Impatiently And Began To Dig A Hole With One Foot. She Booted His Elbow With Her Toe And He Stopped, But After A Moment He Lowered His Head And Blew Again, Harder, And She Could Feel Him Shifting His Weight, Considering If She Might Let Him Dig Just A Small Hole.

The Magic In That Country Was So Thick And Tenacious That It Settled Over The Land Like Chalk-dust And Over Floors And Shelves Like Slightly Sticky Plaster-dust. (housecleaners In That Country Earned Unusually Good Wages.) If You Lived In That Country, You Had To De-scale Your Kettle Of Its Encrustation Of Magic At Least Once A Week, Because If You Didn't, You Might Find Yourself Pouring Hissing Snakes Or Pond Slime Into Your Teapot Instead Of Water.

People Forgot; It Was In The Nature Of People To Forget, To Blur Boundaries, To Retell Stories To Come Out The Way They Wanted Them To Come Out, To Remember Things As How They Ought To Be Instead Of How They Were.

The Lone Ranger Of Vampires. Did That Make Me Tonto?

Everything Was An Adventure, At Night, When You Were Where You Shouldn't Be, Even If It Was Somwhere You Could Go Perfectly Well In Daylight, And It Was Then Only Ordinary.

Sometimes It Is Better Not To Know. Sometimes When You Do Know You Just Fold Up.

Vampire. Dangerous. Unknowable. Seriously Creepy. This One's Name Was Constantine. We'd Met Before.

What We Can Do, We Must Do: We Must Use What We Are Given, And We Must Use It The Best We Can, However Much Or Little Help We Have For The Task. What You Have Been Given Is A Hard Thing--a Very Hard Thing... But My Darling, What If There Were No One Who Could Do The Difficult Things?

My Books Happen. They Tend To Blast In From Nowhere, Seize Me By The Throat, And Howl 'write Me! Write Me Now!' But They Rarely Stand Still Long Enough For Me To See What And Who They Are, Before They Hurtle Away Again. And So I Spend A Lot Of Time Running After Them, Like A Thrown Rider After An Escaped Horse, Saying 'wait For Me! Wait For Me!' And Waving My Notebook In The Air.

I Didn’t Want To Know That The Monster That Lived Under Your Bed When You Were A Kid Not Only Really Is There But Used To Have A Few Beers With Your Dad.

She Fell Asleep, Leaning On His Chest, And He Edged Her A Little Off A Particularly Painful Bruise, Leaned His Head Back Against The Tree He Had Propped Them Up Against, And Closed His Own Eyes.

Your Attitude Is Perhaps A Little Unnecessarily Rigorous," Suggested Jack.

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