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Loud Laughter Is The Mirth Of The Mob, Who Are Only Pleased With Silly Things; For True Wit Or Good Sense Never Excited A Laugh Since The Creation Of The World. A Man Of Parts And Fashion Is Therefore Often Seen To Smile, But Never Heard To Laugh.

-Lord Chesterfield

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Loud Laughter Is The

Lord Chesterfield

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Loud Laughter Is The Mirth Of The Mob, Who Are Only Pleased With Silly Things; For True Wit Or Good Sense Never Excited A Laugh Since The Creation Of The World. A Man Of Parts And Fashion Is Therefore Often Seen To Smile, But Never Heard To Laugh.

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Most Arts Require Long Study And Application, But The Most Useful Art Of All, That Of Pleasing, Requires Only The Desire.

Let Your Letter Be Written As Accurately As You Are Able,--i Mean With Regard To Language, Grammar, And Stops; For As To The Matter Of It The Less Trouble You Give Yourself The Better It Will Be. Letters Should Be Easy And Natural, And Convey To The Persons To Whom We Send Them Just What We Should Say To The Persons If We Were With Them.

Cautiously Avoid Speaking Of The Domestic Affairs Either Of Yourself, Or Of Other People. Yours Are Nothing To Them But Tedious Gossip; And Theirs Are Nothing To You.

The More One Works, The More Willing One Is To Work.

Virtue And Learning, Like Gold, Have Their Intrinsic Value: But If They Are Not Polished, They Certainly Lose A Great Deal Of Their Luster: And Even Polished Brass Will Pass Upon More People Than Rough Gold.

Inspirational Life

Our Self-love Is Mortified, When We Think Our Opinions, And Even Our Tastes, Customs, And Dresses, Either Arraigned Or Condemned;as, On The Contrary, It Is Tickled And Flattered By Approbation.

I Really Know Nothing More Criminal, More Mean, And More Ridiculous Than Lying. It Is The Production Either Of Malice, Cowardice, Or Vanity; And Generally Misses Of Its Aim In Every One Of These Views; For Lies Are Always Detected, Sooner Or Later.

Women's Beauty, Like Men's Wit, Is Generally Fatal To The Owners.

There Will Never Be A Better Time To Start Quitting Smoking Than Today

Without Any Extraordinary Effort Of Genius, I Have Discovered That Nature Was The Same Three Thousand Years Ago As At Present; That Men Were But Men Then As Well As Now; That Modes And Customs Vary Often, But That Human Nature Is Always The Same. And I Can No More Suppose, That Men Were Better, Braver, Or Wiser, Fifteen Hundred Or Three Thousand Years Ago, Than I Can Suppose That The Animals Or Vegetables Were Better Than They Are Now.

Words Are The Dress Of Thoughts; Which Should No More Be Presented In Rags, Tatters, And Dirt Than Your Person Should.

To Have Frequent Recourse To Narrative Betrays Great Want Of Imagination.

We Are In Truth, More Than Half What We Are By Imitation. The Great Point Is To Choose Good Models And To Study Them With Care.

Remember That Whatever Knowledge You Do Not Solidly Lay The Foundation Of Before You Are Eighteen, You Will Never Be Master Of While You Breathe.

Women Are All So Far Machiavellians That They Are Never Either Good Or Bad By Halves; Their Passions Are Too Strong, And Their Reason Too Weak, To Do Anything With Moderation.

Keep Carefully Not Of All Scrapes And Quarrels. They Lower A Character Extremely; And Are Particularly Dangerous In France, Wherea Man Is Dishonoured By Not Resenting An Affront, And Utterly Ruined By Resenting It.

Study The Heart And The Mind Of Man, And Begin With Your Own. Meditation And Reflection Must Lay The Foundation Of That Knowledge, But Experience And Practice Must, And Alone Can, Complete It.

Good Breeding And Good Nature Do Incline Us Rather To Help And Raise People Up To Ourselves, Than To Mortify And Depress Them, And, In Truth, Our Own Private Interest Concurs In It, As It Is Making Ourselves So Many Friends, Instead Of So Many Enemies.

Truth, But Not The Whole Truth, Must Be The Invariable Principle Of Every Man Who Hath Either Religion, Honour, Or Prudence. Thosewho Violate It, May Be Cunning, But They Are Not Able. Lies And Perfidy Are The Refuge Of Fools And Cowards.

Patience Is The Most Necessary Quality For Business, Many A Man Would Rather You Heard His Story Than Grant His Request.

Fear Invites Danger; Concealed Cowards Insult Known Ones.

Violent Measures Are Always Dangerous, But, When Necessary, May Then Be Looked On As Wise. They Have, However, The Advantage Of Never Being Matter Of Indifference; And, When Well Concerted, Must Be Decisive.

Women Who Are Either Indisputably Beautiful, Or Indisputably Ugly, Are Best Flattered Upon The Score Of Their Understandings.

I Am Grown Old, And Have Possibly Lost A Great Deal Of That Fire, Which Formerly Made Me Love Fire In Others At Any Rate, And However Attended With Smoke: But Now I Must Have All Sense, And Cannot, For The Sake Of Five Righteous Lines, Forgive A Thousand Absurd Ones.

Not To Care For Philosophy Is To Be A True Philospher.

Every Man Is To Be Had One Way Or Another And Every Woman Almost Anyway.

As Fathers Commonly Go, It Is Seldom A Misfortune To Be Fatherless; And Considering The General Run Of Sons, As Seldom A Misfortune To Be Childless.

Spirit Is Now A Very Fashionable Word: To Act With Spirit, To Speak With Spirit, Means Only To Act Rashly, And To Talk Indiscreetly. An Able Man Shows His Spirit By Gentle Words And Resolute Actions; He Is Neither Hot Nor Timid.

Men Have Various Subjects In Which They May Excel, Or At Least Would Be Thought To Excel, And Though They Love To Hear Justice Done To Them Where They Know They Excel, Yet They Are Most And Best Flattered Upon Those Points Where They Wish To Excel And Yet Are Doubtful Whether They Do Or Not.

Without Some Dissimulation No Business Can Be Carried On At All.

People Hate Who Makes You Feel One's Inferiority.

The Most Ignorant Are The Boldest Conjecturers.

Give Dayrolles A Chair.

Since Attaining The Full Use Of My Reason No One Has Ever Heard Me Laugh.

Of Those Who Really Love Their Sons, Few Know How To Do It. Some Spoil Them When They Are Young, And Then Quarrel With Them When They Are Grown Up, For Having Been Spoiled; Some Love Them Like Mothers, And Attend Only To The Bodily Health And Strength Of The Hopes Of Their Family, Solemnize His Birthday, And Rejoice, Like The Subjects Of The Great Mogul, At The Increase Of His Bulk: While Others, Minding, As They Think, Only Essentials, Take Pains And Pleasure To See In Their Heir, All Their Favourite Weaknesses And Imperfections.

Human Nature Is The Same Everywhere; The Modes Only Are Different.

The New Year Is The Season In Which Custom Seems More Particularly To Authorize Civil And Harmless Lies, Under The Name Of Compliments. People Reciprocally Profess Wishes Which They Seldom Form And Concern Which They Seldom Feel.

I Could Wish There Were A Treaty Made Between The French And The English Theatres, In Which Both Parties Should Make Considerableconcessions. The English Ought To Give Up Their Notorious Violations Of The Unities, And All Their Massacres, Racks, Dead Bodies, And Mangled Carcasses, Which They So Frequently Exhibit Upon Their Stage. The French Should Engage To Have More Action, And Less Declamation, And Not To Cram And To Crowd Things Together To Almost A Degree Of Impossibility From A Too Scrupulous Adherence To The Unities.

The Heart Has Such An Influence Over The Understanding, That It Is Worth While To Engage It In Our Interest.

There Is Nothing That People Bear More Impatiently, Or Forgive Less, Than Contempt: And An Injury Is Much Sooner Forgotten Than An Insult.

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A Gentleman Has Ease Without Familiarity, Is Respectful Without Meanness; Genteel Without Affectation, Insinuating Without Seeming Art.

I Always Put These Pert Jackanapeses Out Of Countenance By Looking Extremely Grave When They Expect That I Should Laugh At Their Pleasantries; And By Saying Well, And So?--as If They Had Not Done, And That The Sting Were Still To Come. This Disconcerts Them, As They Have No Resources In Themselves, And Have But One Set Of Jokes To Live Upon.

Knowledge Is A Comfortable And Necessary Retreat And Shelter For Us In An Advanced Age; And If We Do Not Plant It While Young, It Will Give Us No Shade When We Grow Old.

I Can Hardly Bring Myself To Caution You Against Drinking, Because I Am Persuaded That I Am Writing To A Rational Creature, A Gentleman, And Not To A Swine. However, That You May Not Be Insensibly Drawn Into That Beastly Custom Of Even Sober Drinking And Sipping, As The Sots Call It, I Advise You To Be Of No Club Whatsoever.

The Late Président De Montesquieu Told Me That He Knew How To Be Blind--he Had Been So For Such A Long Time--but I Swear That I Do Not Know How To Be Deaf: I Cannot Get Used To It, And I Am As Humiliated And Distressed By It Today As I Was During The First Week. No Philosophy In The World Can Palliate Deafness.

Manners Must Adorn Knowledge And Smooth Its Way In The World, Without Them It Is Like A Great Rough Diamond, Very Well In A Closet By Way Of Curiosity, And Also For Its Intrinsic Value; But Most Prized When Polished.

Know The True Value Of Time; Snatch, Seize, And Enjoy Every Moment Of It.

A Man Of Sense Soon Discovers, Because He Carefully Observes, Where And How Long He Is Welcome; And Takes Care To Leave The Company At Least As Soon As He Is Wished Out Of It. Fools Never Perceive Whether They Are Ill Timed Or Ill Placed.

If You Will Please People, You Must Please Them In Their Own Way.

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Many People Come Into Company Full Of What They Intend To Say In It Themselves, Without The Least Regard To Others; And Thus Charged Up To The Muzzle Are Resolved To Let It Off At Any Rate.

Sincerity Is The Most Compendious Wisdom.

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Unlike My Subject Will I Frame My Song, It Shall Be Witty And It Shan't Be Long.

A Wise Man Will Live As Much Within His Wit As His Income.... Bear This Truth Always In Your Mind, That You May Be Admired For Your Wit, If You Have Any; But That Nothing But Good Sense And Good Qualities Can Make You Be Loved.

A Man's Own Good Breeding Is The Best Security Against Other People's Ill Manners.

I Wish... That You Had As Much Pleasure In Following My Advice, As I Have In Giving It.

Let Them Show Me A Cottage Where There Are Not The Same Vices Of Which They Accuse The Courts.

A Weak Mind Is Like A Microscope, Which Magnifies Trifling Things But Cannot Receive Great Ones.

Horse-play, Romping, Frequent And Loud Fits Of Laughter, Jokes, And Indiscriminate Familiarity, Will Sink Both Merit And Knowledge Into A Degree Of Contempt. They Compose At Most A Merry Fellow; And A Merry Fellow Was Never Yet A Respectable Man.

There Are People Who Indulge Themselves In A Sort Of Lying, Which They Reckon Innocent, And Which In One Sense Is So; For It Hurtsnobody But Themselves. This Sort Of Lying Is The Spurious Offspring Of Vanity, Begotten Upon Folly.

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Never Put Off Till Tomorrow What You Can Do Today.

Advice Is Seldom Welcome, And Those Who Need It The Most, Like It The Least.

May You Live As Long As You Are Fit To Live, But No Longer, Or, May You Rather Die Before You Cease To Be Fit To Live Than After!

If We Do Not Plant Knowledge When Young, It Will Give Us No Shade When We Are Old.

Custom Has Made Dancing Sometimes Necessary For A Young Man; Therefore Mind It While You Learn It, That You May Learn To Do It Well, And Not Be Ridiculous, Though In A Ridiculous Act.

Mind Not Only What People Say, But How They Say It; And If You Have Any Sagacity, You May Discover More Truth By Your Eyes Than By Your Ears. People Can Say What They Will, But They Cannot Look Just As They Will; And Their Looks Frequently (reveal) What Their Words Are Calculated To Conceal.

Women Are Much More Like Each Other Than Men: They Have, In Truth, But Two Passions, Vanity And Love; These Are Their Universal Characteristics.

Elegance Of Manner Is The Outgrowth Of Refined And Exalted Sense.

There Is Time Enough For Everything In The Course Of The Day If You Do But One Thing Once; But There Is Not Time Enough In The Year If You Will Do Two Things At A Time.

Common Sense (which, In Truth, Is Very Uncommon) Is The Best Sense I Know Of: Abide By It; It Will Counsel You Best.

Nature Has Hardly Formed A Woman Ugly Enough To Be Insensible To Flattery Upon Her Person.

Judgment Is Not Upon All Occasions Required, But Discretion Always Is.

Vulgarism In Language Is The Distinguishing Characteristic Of Bad Company, And A Bad Education. A Man Of Fashion Avoids Nothing With More Care Than That. Proverbial Expressions, And Trite Sayings, Are The Flowers Of The Rhetoric Of Vulgar Man.

Awkwardness Is A More Real Disadvantage Than It Is Generally Thought To Be; It Often Occasions Ridicule, It Always Lessens Dignity.

Next To Doing Things That Deserve To Be Written, Nothing Gets A Man More Credit, Or Gives Him More Pleasure Than To Write Things That Deserve To Be Read.

Little Vicious Minds Abound With Anger And Revenge And Are Incapable Of Feeling Te Pleasure Of Forgiving Their Enemies.

Were You To Converse With A King, You Ought To Be As Easy And Unembarrassed As With Your Own Valet-de Chambre; But Yet Every Look,word, And Action Should Imply The Utmost Respect.... You Must Wait Till You Are Spoken To; You Must Receive, Not Give, The Subject Of Conversation, And You Must Even Take Care That The Given Subject Of Such Conversation Do Not Lead You Into Any Impropriety.

The Manner Of A Vulgar Man Has Freedom Without Ease, And The Manner Of A Gentleman Has Ease Without Freedom.

Good-breeding Carries Along With It A Dignity That Is Respected By The Most Petulant. Ill-breeding Invites And Authorizes The Familiarity Of The Most Timid.

Either A Good Or A Bad Reputation Outruns And Gets Before People Wherever They Go.

Human Condition

A Joker Is Near Akin To A Buffoon; And Neither Of Them Is The Least Related To Wit.

An Able Man Shows His Spirit By Gentle Words And Resolute Actions.

Lady ---- Is Safely Delivered Of A Son, To The Great Joy Of That Noble Family. The Expression, Of A Woman's Having Brought Her Husband A Son, Seems To Be A Proper And Cautious One; For It Is Never Said, From Whence.

It Is Reported Here That The King Of Prussia Has Gone Mad And Has Been Locked Up. There Would Be Nothing Bad About That: At Leastthat Might Of His Would No Longer Be A Menace, And You Could Breathe Freely For A While. I Much Prefer Madmen Who Are Locked Up To Those Who Are Not.

I Would Rather Have A Young Fellow Too Much Than Too Little Dressed; The Excess On That Side Will Wear Off, With A Little Age And Reflection; But If He Is Negligent At Twenty, He Will Be A Sloven At Forty, And Stink At Fifty Years Old. Dress Yourself Fine Where Others Are Fine, And Plain Where Others Are Plain; But Take Care Always That Your Clothes Are Well Made And Fit You, For Otherwise They Will Give You A Very Awkward Air.

I Heartily Wish You, In The Plain Home-spun Style, A Great Number Of Happy New Years, Well Employed In Forming Both Your Mind Andyour Manners, To Be Useful And Agreeable To Yourself, Your Country, And Your Friends.

The Only Solid And Lasting Peace Between A Man And His Wife Is, Doubtless, A Separation.

One Man Affirms That He Has Rode Post A Hundred Miles In Six Hours; Probably It Is A Lie; But Supposing It To Be True, What Then? Why, He Is A Very Good Post-boy; That Is All. Another Asserts, And Probably Not Without Oaths, That He Has Drunk Six Or Eight Bottles Of Wine At A Sitting; Out Of Charity I Will Believe Him A Liar; For If I Do Not, I Must Think Him A Beast.

A Certain Degree Of Ceremony Is A Necessary Outwork Of Manners, As Well As Of Religion; It Keeps The Forward And Petulant At A Proper Distance, And Is A Very Small Restraint To The Sensible And To The Well-bred Part Of The World.

Good Breeding Is The Result Of Good Sense, Some Good Nature, And A Little Self-denial For The Sake Of Others.

Prepare Yourself For The World, As Athletes Used To Do For Their Exercises; Oil Your Mind And Your Manners, To Give Them The Necessary Suppleness And Flexibility; Strength Alone Will Not Do.

A Gentleman Is Often Seen, But Very Seldom Heard To Laugh.

Civility, Which Is A Disposition To Accommodate And Oblige Others, Is Essentially The Same In Every Country; But Good Breeding, Asit Is Called, Which Is The Manner Of Exerting That Disposition, Is Different In Almost Every Country, And Merely Local; And Every Man Of Sense Imitates And Conforms To That Local Good Breeding Of The Place Which He Is At.

There Is A Certain Jargon, Which, In French, I Should Call Un Persiflage D'affaires, That A Foreign Minister Ought To Be Perfectlymaster Of, And May Be Used Very Advantageously At Great Entertainments, In Mixed Companies, And In All Occasions Where He Must Speak, And Should Say Nothing. Well Turned And Well Spoken, It Seems To Mean Something, Though In Truth It Means Nothing. It Is A Kind Of Political Badinage, Which Prevents Or Removes A Thousand Difficulties, To Which A Foreign Minister Is Exposed In Mixed Conversations.

All Ceremonies Are In Themselves Very Silly Things; But Yet, A Man Of The World Should Know Them. They Are The Outworks Of Mannersand Decency, Which Would Be Too Often Broken In Upon, If It Were Not For That Defence, Which Keeps The Enemy At A Proper Distance.

Physical Ills Are The Taxes Laid Upon This Wretched Life; Some Are Taxed Higher, And Some Lower, But All Pay Something.

Singularity Is Only Pardonable In Old Age And Retirement; I May Now Be As Singular As I Please, But You May Not.

Experience Only Can Teach Men Not To Prefer What Strikes Them For The Present Moment, To What Will Have Much Greater Weight With The Them Hereafter.

The World Is A Country Which Nobody Ever Yet Knew By Description; One Must Travel Through It One's Self To Be Acquainted With It.

Real Merit Of Any Kind Cannot Long Be Concealed; It Will Be Discovered, And Nothing Can Depreciate It But A Man Exhibiting It Himself. It May Not Always Be Rewarded As It Ought; But It Will Always Be Known.

I Recommend You To Take Care Of The Minutes, For The Hours Will Take Care Of Themselves.

Good Humor Is The Health Of The Soul, Sadness Is Its Poison.

Most People Enjoy The Inferiority Of Their Best Friends.

If A Man, Notoriously And Designedly, Insults And Affronts You, Knock Him Down; But If He Only Injures You, Your Best Revenge Is To Be Extremely Civil To Him In Your Outward Behaviour, Though At The Same Time You Counterwork Him, And Return Him The Compliment, Perhaps With Interest.

If Ever A Man And His Wife, Or A Man And His Mistress, Who Pass Nights As Well As Days Together, Absolutely Lay Aside All Good Breeding, Their Intimacy Will Soon Degenerate Into A Coarse Familiarity, Infallibly Productive Of Contempt Or Disgust.

Keep Your Own Secret, And Get Out Other People's. Keep Your Own Temper, And Artfully Warm Other People's. Counterwork Your Rivalswith Diligence And Dexterity, But At The Same Time With The Utmost Personal Civility To Them: And Be Firm Without Heat.

Those Whom You Can Make Like Themselves Better Will, I Promise You, Like You Very Well.

Half The Business Is Done, When One Has Gained The Heart And The Affections Of Those With Whom One Is To Transact It.

No Man Tastes Pleasures Truly, Who Does Not Earn Them By Previous Business; And Few People Do Business Well, Who Do Nothing Else.

True Politeness Is Perfect Ease And Freedom. It Simply Consists In Treating Others Just As You Love To Be Treated Yourself.

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Anne Of Austria (with Great Submission To A Crowned Head Do I Say It) Was A B----. She Had Spirit And Courage Without Parts, Devotion Without Common Morality, And Lewdness Without Tenderness Either To Justify Or To Dignify It. Her Two Sons Were No More Lewis The Thirteen's Than They Were Mine.

A Man Must Have A Good Share Of Wit Himself To Endure A Great Share In Another.

Deserve A Great Deal, And You Shall Have A Great Deal; Deserve Little, And You Shall Have But A Little; And Be Good For Nothing Atall, And I Assure You, You Shall Have Nothing At All.

Endeavor, As Much As You Can, To Keep Company With People Above You.... Do Not Mistake, When I Say Company Above You, And Think That I Mean With Regard To Their Birth; That Is The Least Consideration; But I Mean With Regard To Their Merit, And The Light In Which The World Considers Them.

Firmness Of Purpose Is One Of The Most Necessary Sinews Of Character, And One Of The Best Instruments Of Success. Without It, Genius Wastes Its Efforts In A Maze Of Inconsistencies.

Six, Or At Most Seven, Hours' Sleep Is, For A Constancy, As Much As You Or Anybody Else Can Want; More Is Only Laziness And Dozing, And Is, I Am Persuaded, Both Unwholesome And Stupefying.

A Rake Is A Composition Of All The Lowest, Most Ignoble, Degrading, And Shameful Vices; They All Conspire To Disgrace His Character, And To Ruin His Fortune; While Wine And The Pox Content Which Shall Soonest And Most Effectually Destroy His Constitution.

Choose Your Pleasures For Yourself, And Do Not Let Them Be Imposed Upon You.

To Me It Appears Strange That The Men Against Whom I Should Be Enabled To Bring An Action For Laying A Little Dirt At My Door, May With Impunity Drive By It Half-a-dozen Calves, With Their Tails Lopped Close To Their Bodies And Their Hinder Parts Covered With Blood.

Many New Years You May See, But Happy Ones You Cannot See Without Deserving Them. These Virtue, Honor, And Knowledge Alone Can Merit, Alone Can Produce.

The Insolent Civility Of A Proud Man Is, If Possible, More Shocking Than His Rudeness Could Be; Because He Shows You, By His Manner, That He Thinks It Mere Condescension In Him; And That His Goodness Alone Bestows Upon You What You Have No Pretense To Claim.

It Is To Be Presumed, That A Man Of Common Sense, Who Does Not Desire To Please, Desires Nothing At All; Since He Must Know That He Cannot Obtain Anything Without It.

Not To Perceive The Little Weaknesses And The Idle But Innocent Affectations Of The Company May Be Allowable As A Sort Of Polite Duty. The Company Will Be Pleased With You If You Do, And Most Probably Will Not Be Reformed By You If You Do Not.

Almost All Men Are Born With Every Passion To Some Extent, But There Is Hardly A Man Who Has Not A Dominant Passion To Which The Others Are Subordinate. Discover This Governing Passion In Every Individual; And When You Have Found The Master Passion Of A Man, Remember Never To Trust To Him Where That Passion Is Concerned.

Be Your Character What It Will, It Will Be Known, And Nobody Will Take It Upon Your Word.

The Power Of Applying Attention, Steady And Undissipated, To A Single Object, Is The Sure Mark Of Superior Genius.

Men Are Much More Unwilling To Have Their Weaknesses And Their Imperfections Known Than Their Crimes.

Ugliness Is A Letter Of Credit For Some Special Purposes.

Whatever Is Worth Doing At All Is Worth Doing Well.

Let It Be Your Maxim Through Life, To Know All You Can Know, Yourself; And Never To Trust Implicitly To The Information Of Others.

An Able Man Shows His Spirit By Gentle Words And Resolute Actions. He Is Neither Hot Nor Timid.

A Man Who Cannot Command His Temper, His Attention, And His Countenance Should Not Think Of Being A Man Of Business.

The Manner Of Your Speaking Is Full As Important As The Matter, As More People Have Ears To Be Tickled Than Understandings To Judge.

Let This Be One Invariable Rule Of Your Conduct--never To Show The Least Symptom Of Resentment, Which You Cannot, To A Certain Degree, Gratify; But Always To Smile, Where You Cannot Strike.

Great Merit, Or Great Failings, Will Make You Respected Or Despised; But Trifles, Little Attentions, Mere Nothings, Either Done Or Neglected, Will Make You Either Liked Or Disliked In The General Run Of The World.

I Love Every-day Senses, Every-day Wit And Entertainment; A Man Who Is Only Good On Holidays, Is Good For Very Little.

A Man Who Owes A Little Can Clear It Off In A Very Little Time, And, If He Is A Prudent Man, Will; Whereas A Man, Who By Long Negligence, Owes A Great Deal, Despairs Of Ever Being Able To Pay, And Therefore Never Looks Into His Accounts At All.

It Is Commonly Said That Ridicule Is The Best Test Of Truth; For That It Will Not Stick Where It Is Not Just. I Deny It. A Truth Learned In A Certain Light, And Attacked In Certain Words, By Men Of Wit And Humor, May, And Often Doth, Become Ridiculous, At Least So Far, That The Truth Is Only Remembered And Repeated For The Sake Of The Ridicule.

If You Have Wit, Use It To Please And Not To Hurt: You May Shine Like The Sun In The Temperate Zones Without Scorching.

Take The Tone Of The Company You Are In...

You Must Be Respectful And Assenting, But Without Being Servile And Abject. You Must Be Frank, But Without Indiscretion, And Close, Without Being Costive. You Must Keep Up Dignity Of Character, Without The Least Pride Of Birth, Or Rank. You Must Be Gay, Within All The Bounds Of Decency And Respect; And Grave, Without The Affectation Of Wisdom, Which Does Not Become The Age Of Twenty. You Must Be Essentially Secret, Without Being Dark And Mysterious. You Must Be Firm, And Even Bold, But With Great Seeming Modesty.

Idleness Is Only The Refuge Of Weak Minds.

Good Manners Are The Settled Medium Of Social, As Specie Is Of Commercial, Life; Returns Are Equally Expected For Both.

To This Principle Of Vanity, Which Philosophers Call A Mean One, And Which I Do Not, I Owe A Great Part Of The Figure Which I Have Made In Life.

Sexual Intercourse Is A Grossly Overrated Pastime; The Position Is Undignified, The Pleasure Momentary And The Consequences Damnable.

I Look Upon Indolence As A Sort Of Suicide.

Absolute Power Can Only Be Supported By Error, Ignorance And Prejudice.

Politicians Neither Love Nor Hate. Interest, Not Sentiment, Directs Them.

Montesquieu Well Knew, And Justly Admired, The Happy Constitution Of This Country [great Britain], Where Fixed And Known Laws Equally Restrain Monarchy From Tyranny And Liberty From Licentiousness.

The Permanency Of Most Friendships Depends Upon The Continuity Of Good Fortune.

When I Reflect Upon What I Have Seen, What I Have Heard, What I Have Done, I Can Hardly Persuade Myself That All That Frivolous Hurry And Bustle And Pleasure Of The World Had Any Reality; And I Look On What Has Passed As One Of Those Wild Dreams Which Opium Occasions, And I By No Means Wish To Repeat The Nauseous Dose For The Sake Of The Fugitive Illusion.

Remember, That When I Speak Of Pleasures I Always Mean The Elegant Pleasures Of A Rational Being, And Not The Brutal Ones Of A Swine. I Mean La Bonne Chère, Short Of Gluttony; Wine, Infinitely Short Of Drunkenness; Play, Without The Least Gaming; And Gallantry, Without Debauchery.

The Vulgar Look Upon A Man, Who Is Reckoned A Fine Speaker, As A Phenomenon, A Supernatural Being, And Endowed With Some Peculiargift Of Heaven; They Stare At Him, If He Walks In The Park, And Cry, That Is He. You Will, I Am Sure, View Him In A Juster Light, And Nulla Formidine. You Will Consider Him Only As A Man Of Good Sense, Who Adorns Common Thoughts With The Graces Of Elocution, And The Elegancy Of Style. The Miracle Will Then Cease.

Supernatural Beings

In Friendship, As Well As In Love, The Mind Is Often The Dupe Of The Heart.

Do As You Would Be Done By, Is The Surest Method Of Pleasing.

A Foreign Minister, I Will Maintain It, Can Never Be A Good Man Of Business If He Is Not An Agreeable Man Of Pleasure Too. Half His Business Is Done By The Help Of His Pleasures: His Views Are Carried On, And Perhaps Best, And Most Unsuspectedly, At Balls, Suppers, Assemblies, And Parties Of Pleasure; By Intrigues With Women, And Connections Insensibly Formed With Men, At Those Unguarded Hours Of Amusement.

Whenever A Man Seeks Your Advice He Generally Seeks Your Praise.

The Value Of Moments, When Cast Up, Is Immense, If Well Employed; If Thrown Away, Their Loss Is Irrecoverable.

Few Fathers Care Much For Their Sons, Or At Least, Most Of Them Care More For Their Money. Of Those Who Really Love Their Sons, Few Know How To Do It.

Most People Have Ears, But Few Have Judgment; Tickle Those Ears, And Depend Upon It, You Will Catch Their Judgments, Such As They Are.

In The Mass Of Mankind, I Fear, There Is Too Great A Majority Of Fools And Knaves; Who, Singly From Their Number, Must To A Certain Degree Be Respected, Though They Are By No Means Respectable.

Ties Of Blood Are Not Always Ties Of Friendship; But Friendship Founded On Merit, On Esteem, And On Mutual Trust, Becomes More Vital And More Tender When Strengthened By The Ties Of Blood.

The Receipt To Make A Speaker, And An Applauded One Too, Is Short And Easy. Take Common Sense Quantum Sufficit; Add A Little Application To The Rules And Orders Of The House [of Commons], Throw Obvious Thoughts In A New Light, And Make Up The Whole With A Large Quantity Of Purity, Correctness And Elegancy Of Style. Take It For Granted That By Far The Greatest Part Of Mankind Neither Analyze Nor Search To The Bottom; They Are Incapable Of Penetrating Deeper Than The Surface.

Those Who See And Observe Kings, Heroes, And Statesmen, Discover That They Have Headaches, Indigestion, Humors And Passions, Just Like Other People; Every One Of Which In Their Turns Determine Their Wills In Defiance Of Their Reason.

Most Maxim-mongers Have Preferred The Prettiness To The Justness Of A Thought, And The Turn To The Truth; But I Have Refused Myself To Everything That My Own Experience Did Not Justify And Confirm.

The Heart Never Grows Better By Age; I Fear Rather Worse; Always Harder.

Let Your Enemies Be Disarmed By The Gentleness Of Your Manner, But Let Them Feel At The Same Time The Steadiness Of Your Just Resentment For There Is A Great Difference Between Bearing Malice, Which Is Always Ungenerous, And A Resolute Self-defense Which Is Ever Prudent And Justifiable.

I Do Not Think That A Physician Should Be Admitted Into The College Till He Could Bring Proofs Of His Having Cured, In His Own Person, At Least Four Incurable Distempers.

Mankind Is Made Up Of Inconsistencies, And No Man Acts Invariably Up To His Predominant Character. The Wisest Man Sometimes Acts Weakly, And The Weakest Sometimes Wisely.

Assurance And Intrepidity, Under The White Banner Of Seeming Modesty, Clear The Way For Merit, That Would Otherwise Be Discouraged By Difficulties...

Persist And Persevere, And You Will Find Most Things That Are Attainable, Possible.

Gratitude Is A Burden Upon Our Imperfect Nature.

Wit Is So Shining A Quality That Everybody Admires It; Most People Aim At It, All People Fear It, And Few Love It Unless In Themselves. A Man Must Have A Good Share Of Wit Himself To Endure A Great Share Of It In Another.

If You Are Not In Fashion, You Are Nobody.

A Man Who Tells Nothing, Or Who Tells All, Will Equally Have Nothing Told Him.

Every Man Becomes, To A Certain Degree, What The People He Generally Converses With Are.

Gold And Silver Are But Merchandise, As Well As Cloth Or Linen; And That Nation That Buys The Least, And Sells The Most, Must Always Have The Most Money.

There Is Hardly Anybody Good For Everything, And There Is Scarcely Anybody Who Is Absolutely Good For Nothing.

A Seeming Ignorance Is Very Often A Most Necessary Part Of Worldly Knowledge. It Is, For Instance, Commonly Advisable To Seem Ignorant Of What People Offer To Tell You; And When They Say, Have Not You Heard Of Such A Thing? To Answer No, And To Let Them Go On, Though You Know It Already.

A Young Fellow Ought To Be Wiser Than He Should Seem To Be; And An Old Fellow Ought To Seem Wise Whether He Really Be So Or Not.

I Am Provoked At The Contempt Which Most Historians Show For Humanity In General; One Would Think By Them, That The Whole Human Species Consisted But Of About A Hundred And Fifty People, Called And Dignified (commonly Very Undeservedly Too) By The Titles Of Emperors, Kings, Popes, Generals, And Ministers.

A Wise Man Will Live As Much Within His Wit As Within His Income.

Love Has Been Not Unaptly Compared To The Small-pox, Which Most People Have Sooner Or Later.

Women Who Are Either Indisputably Beautiful, Or Indisputably Ugly, Are Best Flattered Upon The Score Of Their Understandings; But Those Who Are In A State Of Mediocrity Are Best Flattered Upon Their Beauty, Or At Least Their Graces; For Every Woman Who Is Not Absolutely Ugly Thinks Herself Handsome.

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