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It Is Commonly Said That Ridicule Is The Best Test Of Truth; For That It Will Not Stick Where It Is Not Just. I Deny It. A Truth Learned In A Certain Light, And Attacked In Certain Words, By Men Of Wit And Humor, May, And Often Doth, Become Ridiculous, At Least So Far, That The Truth Is Only Remembered And Repeated For The Sake Of The Ridicule.

-Lord Chesterfield

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It Is Commonly Said

Lord Chesterfield

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It Is Commonly Said That Ridicule Is The Best Test Of Truth; For That It Will Not Stick Where It Is Not Just. I Deny It. A Truth Learned In A Certain Light, And Attacked In Certain Words, By Men Of Wit And Humor, May, And Often Doth, Become Ridiculous, At Least So Far, That The Truth Is Only Remembered And Repeated For The Sake Of The Ridicule.

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Honest Error Is To Be Pitied Not Ridiculed.

The Great, The Rich, The Powerful, Too Often Bestow Their Favours Upon Their Inferiors In The Manner They Bestow Their Scraps Upontheir Dogs, So As Neither To Oblige Man Nor Dogs. It Is No Wonder If Favours, Benefits, And Even Charities Thus Bestowed Ungraciously, Should Be As Coldly And Faintly Acknowledged.

In The Course Of The World, A Man Must Very Often Put On An Easy, Frank Countenance, Upon Very Disagreeable Occasions; He Must Seem Pleased, When He Is Very Much Otherwise; He Must Be Able To Accost And Receive With Smiles, Those Whom He Would Much Rather Meet With Swords.

If You Can Once Engage People's Pride, Love, Pity, Ambition (or Whatever Is Their Prevailing Passion) On Your Side, You Need Not Fear What Their Reason Can Do Against You.

Unlike My Subject Will I Frame My Song, It Shall Be Witty And It Shan't Be Long.

Women Have, In General, But Ne Object, Which Is Their Beauty; Upon Which, Scarce Any Flattery Is Too Gross For Them To Swallow.

Speak Of The Moderns Without Contempt And Of The Ancients Without Idolatry; Judge Them All By Their Merits, But Not By Their Age

Good Breeding And Good Nature Do Incline Us Rather To Help And Raise People Up To Ourselves, Than To Mortify And Depress Them, And, In Truth, Our Own Private Interest Concurs In It, As It Is Making Ourselves So Many Friends, Instead Of So Many Enemies.

I Would Rather Have A Young Fellow Too Much Than Too Little Dressed; The Excess On That Side Will Wear Off, With A Little Age And Reflection; But If He Is Negligent At Twenty, He Will Be A Sloven At Forty, And Stink At Fifty Years Old. Dress Yourself Fine Where Others Are Fine, And Plain Where Others Are Plain; But Take Care Always That Your Clothes Are Well Made And Fit You, For Otherwise They Will Give You A Very Awkward Air.

Compliments Of Congratulation Are Always Kindly Taken, And Cost Nothing But Pen, Ink And Paper. I Consider Them As Draughts Upon Good Breeding, Where The Exchange Is Always Greatly In Favor Of The Drawer.

Congratulations

We Are Hardly Ever Grateful For A Fine Clock Or Watch When It Goes Right, And We Pay Attention To It Only When It Falters, For Then We Are Caught By Surprise. It Ought To Be The Other Way About.

It Is Hard To Say Which Is The Greatest Fool: He Who Tells The Whole Truth, Or He Who Tells No Truth At All. Character Is As Necessary In Business As In Trade. No Man Can Deceive Often In Either.

Modesty Is The Only Sure Bait When You Angle For Praise.

Love Has Been Not Unaptly Compared To The Small-pox, Which Most People Have Sooner Or Later.

A Man's Own Good Breeding Is The Best Security Against Other People's Ill Manners.

A Man Who Tells Nothing, Or Who Tells All, Will Equally Have Nothing Told Him.

A Seeming Ignorance Is Very Often A Most Necessary Part Of Worldly Knowledge. It Is, For Instance, Commonly Advisable To Seem Ignorant Of What People Offer To Tell You; And When They Say, Have Not You Heard Of Such A Thing? To Answer No, And To Let Them Go On, Though You Know It Already.

Many Young People Adopt Pleasures For Which They Have Not The Least Taste, Only Because They Are Called By That Name.... You Mustallow That Drunkenness, Which Is Equally Destructive To Body And Mind, Is A Fine Pleasure. Gaming, That Draws You Into A Thousand Scraps, Leaves You Penniless, And Gives You The Air And Manners Of An Outrageous Madman, Is Another Most Exquisite Pleasure, Is It Not? As To Running After Women, The Consequences Of That Vice Are Only The Loss Of One's Nose, The Total Destruction Of Health, And, Not Unfrequently, The Being Run Through The Body.

The More One Works, The More Willing One Is To Work.

Either A Good Or A Bad Reputation Outruns And Gets Before People Wherever They Go.

Human Condition

Men Are Apt To Mistake, Or At Least To Seem To Mistake, Their Own Talents, In Hopes, Perhaps, Of Misleading Others To Allow Them That Which They Are Conscious They Do Not Possess. Thus Lord Hardwicke Valued Himself More Upon Being A Great Minister Of State, Which He Certainly Was Not, Than Upon Being A Great Magistrate, Which He Certainly Was.

Remember, That When I Speak Of Pleasures I Always Mean The Elegant Pleasures Of A Rational Being, And Not The Brutal Ones Of A Swine. I Mean La Bonne Chère, Short Of Gluttony; Wine, Infinitely Short Of Drunkenness; Play, Without The Least Gaming; And Gallantry, Without Debauchery.

Firmness Of Purpose Is One Of The Best Instruments Of Success.

It Is An Undoubted Truth, That The Less One Has To Do, The Less Time One Finds To Do It In. One Yawns, One Procrastinates, One Can Do It When One Will, And Therefore One Seldom Does It At All.

Procrastinating

Keep Your Hands Clean And Pure From The Infamous Vice Of Corruption, A Vice So Infamous That It Degrades Even The Other Vices Thatmay Accompany It. Accept No Present Whatever; Let Your Character In That Respect Be Transparent And Without The Least Speck, For As Avarice Is The Vilest And Dirtiest Vice In Private, Corruption Is So In Public Life.

Anne Of Austria (with Great Submission To A Crowned Head Do I Say It) Was A B----. She Had Spirit And Courage Without Parts, Devotion Without Common Morality, And Lewdness Without Tenderness Either To Justify Or To Dignify It. Her Two Sons Were No More Lewis The Thirteen's Than They Were Mine.

Let Your Letter Be Written As Accurately As You Are Able,--i Mean With Regard To Language, Grammar, And Stops; For As To The Matter Of It The Less Trouble You Give Yourself The Better It Will Be. Letters Should Be Easy And Natural, And Convey To The Persons To Whom We Send Them Just What We Should Say To The Persons If We Were With Them.

A Weak Mind Is Like A Microscope, Which Magnifies Trifling Things But Cannot Receive Great Ones.

Never Seem Wiser, Nor More Learned, Than The People You Are With. Wear Your Learning, Like Your Watch, In A Private Pocket: And Do Not Merely Pull It Out And Strike It; Merely To Show That You Have One.

The Value Of Moments, When Cast Up, Is Immense, If Well Employed; If Thrown Away, Their Loss Is Irrecoverable.

Half The Business Is Done, When One Has Gained The Heart And The Affections Of Those With Whom One Is To Transact It.

Let Your Enemies Be Disarmed By The Gentleness Of Your Manner, But Let Them Feel At The Same Time The Steadiness Of Your Just Resentment For There Is A Great Difference Between Bearing Malice, Which Is Always Ungenerous, And A Resolute Self-defense Which Is Ever Prudent And Justifiable.

There Is Not A More Prudent Maxim, Than To Live With One's Enemies As If They May One Day Become One's Friends; As It Commonly Happens, Sooner Or Later, In The Vicissitudes Of Political Affairs.

Real Friendship Is A Slow Grower.

Real Friendship

Letters Should Be Easy And Natural, And Convey To The Persons To Whom We Send Them Just What We Should Say To The Persons If We Were With Them.

A Gentleman Has Ease Without Familiarity, Is Respectful Without Meanness; Genteel Without Affectation, Insinuating Without Seeming Art.

To Me It Appears Strange That The Men Against Whom I Should Be Enabled To Bring An Action For Laying A Little Dirt At My Door, May With Impunity Drive By It Half-a-dozen Calves, With Their Tails Lopped Close To Their Bodies And Their Hinder Parts Covered With Blood.

No Woman Ever Yet Either Reasoned Or Acted Long Together Consequentially; But Some Little Thing, Some Love, Some Resentment, Somepresent Momentary Interest, Some Supposed Slight, Or Some Humour, Always Breaks In Upon, And Oversets Their Most Prudent Resolutions And Schemes.

Keep Your Own Secret, And Get Out Other People's. Keep Your Own Temper, And Artfully Warm Other People's. Counterwork Your Rivalswith Diligence And Dexterity, But At The Same Time With The Utmost Personal Civility To Them: And Be Firm Without Heat.

Remember That Whatever Knowledge You Do Not Solidly Lay The Foundation Of Before You Are Eighteen, You Will Never Be Master Of While You Breathe.

Whatever Poets May Write, Or Fools Believe, Of Rural Innocence And Truth, And Of The Perfidy Of Courts, This Is Most Undoubtedly True,--that Shepherds And Ministers Are Both Men; Their Natures And Passions The Same, The Modes Of Them Only Different.

In The Case Of Scandal, As In That Of Robbery, The Receiver Is Always Thought As Bad As The Thief.

Enjoy Pleasures, But Let Them Be Your Own, And Then You Will Taste Them.

Mind Not Only What People Say, But How They Say It; And If You Have Any Sagacity, You May Discover More Truth By Your Eyes Than By Your Ears. People Can Say What They Will, But They Cannot Look Just As They Will; And Their Looks Frequently (reveal) What Their Words Are Calculated To Conceal.

Deafness Produces Bizarre Effects, Reversing The Natural Order Of Things; The Interchange Of Letters Is The Conversation Of The Deaf, And The Only Link With Society. I Would Be In Despair, For Instance, Over Seeing You Speak, But, Instead, I Am Only Too Happy To Hear You Write.

There Will Never Be A Better Time To Start Quitting Smoking Than Today

To Take A Wife Merely As An Agreeable And Rational Companion, Will Commonly Be Found To Be A Grand Mistake.

If You Would Convince Others, Seem Open To Conviction Yourself.

To Know A Little Of Anything Gives Neither Satisfaction Nor Credit, But Often Brings Disgrace Or Ridicule.

You Must Look Into People, As Well As At Them.

Second-rate Knowledge, And Middling Talents, Carry A Man Farther At Courts, And In The Busy Part Of The World, Than Superior Knowledge And Shining Parts.

The Vulgar Look Upon A Man, Who Is Reckoned A Fine Speaker, As A Phenomenon, A Supernatural Being, And Endowed With Some Peculiargift Of Heaven; They Stare At Him, If He Walks In The Park, And Cry, That Is He. You Will, I Am Sure, View Him In A Juster Light, And Nulla Formidine. You Will Consider Him Only As A Man Of Good Sense, Who Adorns Common Thoughts With The Graces Of Elocution, And The Elegancy Of Style. The Miracle Will Then Cease.

Supernatural Beings

A Vulgar Man Is Captious And Jealous; Eager And Impetuous About Trifles. He Suspects Himself To Be Slighted, And Thinks Everything That Is Said Meant At Him.

I Look Upon Indolence As A Sort Of Suicide; For The Man Is Effectually Destroyed, Though The Appetites Of The Brute May Survive.

Swift Speedy Time, Feathered With Flying Hours, Dissolves The Beauty Of The Fairest Brow.

I Knew A Gentleman Who Was So Good A Manager Of His Time That He Would Not Even Lose That Small Portion Of It Which The Calls Of Nature Obliged Him To Pass In The Necessary-house; But Gradually Went Through All The Latin Poets In Those Moments.

Pleasure Is The Rock Which Most Young People Split Upon; They Launch Out With Crowded Sails In Quest Of It, But Without A Compassto Direct Their Course, Or Reason Sufficient To Steer The Vessel; For Want Of Which, Pain And Shame, Instead Of Pleasure, Are The Returns Of Their Voyage.

Elegance Of Manner Is The Outgrowth Of Refined And Exalted Sense.

The Greatest Powers Cannot Injure A Man's Character Whose Reputation Is Unblemished Among His Party.

People Will, In A Great Degree, And Not Without Reason, Form Their Opinion Of You Upon That Which They Have Of Your Friends; And There Is A Spanish Proverb Which Says Vry Justly, 'tell Me Whom You Live With, And I Will Tell You Who You Are.'

Men Are Much More Unwilling To Have Their Weaknesses And Their Imperfections Known, Than Their Crimes; And, If You Hint To A Man That You Think Him Silly, Ignorant, Or Even Ill-bred Or Awkward, He Will Hate You More, And Longer, Than If You Tell Him Plainly That You Think Him A Rogue.

Loud Laughter Is The Mirth Of The Mob, Who Are Only Pleased With Silly Things; For True Wit Or Good Sense Never Excited A Laugh Since The Creation Of The World. A Man Of Parts And Fashion Is Therefore Often Seen To Smile, But Never Heard To Laugh.

A Man Who Owes A Little Can Clear It Off In A Very Little Time, And, If He Is A Prudent Man, Will; Whereas A Man, Who By Long Negligence, Owes A Great Deal, Despairs Of Ever Being Able To Pay, And Therefore Never Looks Into His Accounts At All.

Vulgarism In Language Is The Distinguishing Characteristic Of Bad Company, And A Bad Education. A Man Of Fashion Avoids Nothing With More Care Than That. Proverbial Expressions, And Trite Sayings, Are The Flowers Of The Rhetoric Of Vulgar Man.

Good Manners Are The Settled Medium Of Social, As Specie Is Of Commercial, Life; Returns Are Equally Expected For Both.

Man Is More Himself, Man Is More Manlike, When Joy Is The Fundamental Thing In Him, And Grief The Superficial.

Whenever I Go To An Opera, I Leave My Sense And Reason At The Door With My Half-guinea, And Deliver Myself Up To My Eyes And My Ears.

Judgment Is Not Upon All Occasions Required, But Discretion Always Is.

Let It Be Your Maxim Through Life, To Know All You Can Know, Yourself; And Never To Trust Implicitly To The Information Of Others.

Virtue And Learning, Like Gold, Have Their Intrinsic Value: But If They Are Not Polished, They Certainly Lose A Great Deal Of Their Luster: And Even Polished Brass Will Pass Upon More People Than Rough Gold.

Inspirational Life

Whenever A Man Seeks Your Advice He Generally Seeks Your Praise.

Advice Is Seldom Welcome, And Those Who Need It The Most, Like It The Least.

Vice, In Its True Light, Is So Deformed, That It Shocks Us At First Sight; And Would Hardly Ever Seduce Us, If It Did Not At First Wear The Mask Of Some Virtue.

Remember, As Long As You Live, That Nothing But Strict Truth Can Carry You Through The World, With Either Your Conscience Or Your Honor Unwounded.

The Permanency Of Most Friendships Depends Upon The Continuity Of Good Fortune.

The Law Before Us, My Lords, Seems To Be The Effect Of That Practice Of Which It Is Intended Likewise To Be The Cause, And To Be Dictated By The Liquor Of Which It So Effectually Promotes The Use; For Surely It Never Before Was Conceived By Any Man Entrusted With The Administration Of Public Affairs, To Raise Taxes By The Destruction Of The People.

I Find, By Experience, That The Mind And The Body Are More Than Married, For They Are Most Intimately United; And When One Suffers, The Other Sympathizes.

Let This Be One Invariable Rule Of Your Conduct--never To Show The Least Symptom Of Resentment, Which You Cannot, To A Certain Degree, Gratify; But Always To Smile, Where You Cannot Strike.

Any Affectation Whatsoever In Dress Implies, In My Mind, A Flaw In The Understanding.

If Ever A Man And His Wife, Or A Man And His Mistress, Who Pass Nights As Well As Days Together, Absolutely Lay Aside All Good Breeding, Their Intimacy Will Soon Degenerate Into A Coarse Familiarity, Infallibly Productive Of Contempt Or Disgust.

Women Who Are Either Indisputably Beautiful, Or Indisputably Ugly, Are Best Flattered Upon The Score Of Their Understandings.

Wit Is So Shining A Quality That Everybody Admires It; Most People Aim At It, All People Fear It, And Few Love It Unless In Themselves. A Man Must Have A Good Share Of Wit Himself To Endure A Great Share Of It In Another.

Politicians Neither Love Nor Hate. Interest, Not Sentiment, Directs Them.

Every Man Becomes, To A Certain Degree, What The People He Generally Converses With Are.

We Are, In Truth, More Than Half What We Are By Imitation.

There Are Some Occasions In Which A Man Must Tell Half His Secret, In Order To Conceal The Rest: But There Is Seldom One In Which A Man Should Tell It All.

In Business Be As Able As You Can, But Do Not Be Cunning; Cunning Is The Dark Sanctuary Of Incapacity.

If A Marriage Is Going To Work Well, It Must Be On A Solid Footing, Namely Money, And Of That Commodity It Is The Girl With The Smallest Dowry Who, To My Knowledge, Consumes The Most, To Infuriate Her Husband. All The Same, It Is Only Fair That The Marriage Should Pay For Past Pleasures, Since It Will Scarcely Procure Any In The Future.

Style Is The Dress Of Thoughts; And Let Them Be Ever So Just, If Your Style Is Homely, Coarse, And Vulgar, They Will Appear To As Much Disadvantage, And Be As Ill Received, As Your Person, Though Ever So Well-proportioned, Would If Dressed In Rags, Dirt, And Tatters.

Never Write Down Your Speeches Beforehand; If You Do, You May Perhaps Be A Good Declaimer, But Will Never Be A Debater.

A Young Fellow Ought To Be Wiser Than He Should Seem To Be; And An Old Fellow Ought To Seem Wise Whether He Really Be So Or Not.

Little Minds Mistake Little Objects For Great Ones, And Lavish Away Upon The Former That Time And Attention Which Only The Latterdeserve. To Such Mistakes We Owe The Numerous And Frivolous Tribe Of Insect-mongers, Shell-mongers, And Pursuers And Driers Of Butterflies, Etc. The Strong Mind Distinguishes, Not Only Between The Useful And The Useless, But Likewise Between The Useful And The Curious.

Cautiously Avoid Speaking Of The Domestic Affairs Either Of Yourself, Or Of Other People. Yours Are Nothing To Them But Tedious Gossip; And Theirs Are Nothing To You.

Pleasure Is A Necessary Reciprocal. No One Feels, Who Does Not At The Same Time Give It. To Be Pleased, One Must Please. What Pleases You In Others, Will In General Please Them In You.

In Your Friendships And In Your Enmities Let Your Confidence And Your Hostilities Have Certain Bounds; Make Not The Former Dangerous, Nor The Latter Irreconcilable. There Are Strange Vicissitudes In Business.

If You Have Wit, Use It To Please And Not To Hurt: You May Shine Like The Sun In The Temperate Zones Without Scorching.

Mankind Is Made Up Of Inconsistencies, And No Man Acts Invariably Up To His Predominant Character. The Wisest Man Sometimes Acts Weakly, And The Weakest Sometimes Wisely.

Six, Or At Most Seven, Hours' Sleep Is, For A Constancy, As Much As You Or Anybody Else Can Want; More Is Only Laziness And Dozing, And Is, I Am Persuaded, Both Unwholesome And Stupefying.

I Love Every-day Senses, Every-day Wit And Entertainment; A Man Who Is Only Good On Holidays, Is Good For Very Little.

Good Humor Is The Health Of The Soul, Sadness Is Its Poison.

Everything Is Worth Seeing Once, And The More One Sees The Less One Either Wonders Or Admires.

The Manner Of A Vulgar Man Has Freedom Without Ease, And The Manner Of A Gentleman Has Ease Without Freedom.

Little Vicious Minds Abound With Anger And Revenge And Are Incapable Of Feeling Te Pleasure Of Forgiving Their Enemies.

You Must Embrace The Man You Hate, If You Cannot Be Justified In Knocking Him Down.

Very Ugly Or Very Beautiful Women Should Be Flattered On Their Understanding, And Mediocre Ones On Their Beauty.

Keep Carefully Not Of All Scrapes And Quarrels. They Lower A Character Extremely; And Are Particularly Dangerous In France, Wherea Man Is Dishonoured By Not Resenting An Affront, And Utterly Ruined By Resenting It.

When A Man Is Once In Fashion, All He Does Is Right.

A Rake Is A Composition Of All The Lowest, Most Ignoble, Degrading, And Shameful Vices; They All Conspire To Disgrace His Character, And To Ruin His Fortune; While Wine And The Pox Content Which Shall Soonest And Most Effectually Destroy His Constitution.

I Really Know Nothing More Criminal, More Mean, And More Ridiculous Than Lying. It Is The Production Either Of Malice, Cowardice, Or Vanity; And Generally Misses Of Its Aim In Every One Of These Views; For Lies Are Always Detected, Sooner Or Later.

We Are As Often Duped By Diffidence As By Confidence.

Experience Only Can Teach Men Not To Prefer What Strikes Them For The Present Moment, To What Will Have Much Greater Weight With The Them Hereafter.

A Certain Degree Of Ceremony Is A Necessary Outwork Of Manners, As Well As Of Religion; It Keeps The Forward And Petulant At A Proper Distance, And Is A Very Small Restraint To The Sensible And To The Well-bred Part Of The World.

A Wise Man Will Live As Much Within His Wit As Within His Income.

Sculpture And Painting Are Very Justly Called Liberal Arts; A Lively And Strong Imagination, Together With A Just Observation, Being Absolutely Necessary To Excel In Either; Which, In My Opinion, Is By No Means The Case Of Music, Though Called A Liberal Art, And Now In Italy Placed Even Above The Other Two--a Proof Of The Decline Of That Country.

Singularity Is Only Pardonable In Old Age And Retirement; I May Now Be As Singular As I Please, But You May Not.

I Have Been Too Long Acquainted With Human Nature To Have Great Regard For Human Testimony; And A Very Great Degree Of Probability, Supported By Various Concurrent Circumstances, Conspiring In One Point, Will Have Much Greater Weight With Me, Than Human Testimony Upon Oath, Or Even Upon Honour; Both Of Which I Have Frequently Seen Considerably Warped By Private Views.

Assurance And Intrepidity, Under The White Banner Of Seeming Modesty, Clear The Way For Merit, That Would Otherwise Be Discouraged By Difficulties...

The Rich Are Always Advising The Poor, But The Poor Seldom Return The Compliment.

Patience Is The Most Necessary Quality For Business, Many A Man Would Rather You Heard His Story Than Grant His Request.

The Herd Of Mankind Can Hardly Be Said To Think; Their Notions Are Almost All Adoptive; And, In General, I Believe It Is Better That It Should Be So; As Such Common Prejudices Contribute More To Order And Quiet, Than Their Own Separate Reasonings Would Do, Uncultivated And Unimproved As They Are.

An Able Man Shows His Spirit By Gentle Words And Resolute Actions. He Is Neither Hot Nor Timid.

I Am In The Pitiable Situation Of Feeling All The Force Of Temptation Without Having The Strength To Succumb To It.

The Power Of Applying Attention, Steady And Undissipated, To A Single Object, Is The Sure Mark Of Superior Genius.

When You Have Found Out The Prevailing Passion Of Any Man, Remember Never To Trust Him Where That Passion Is Concerned.

Wise People May Say What They Will, But One Passion Is Never Cured By Another.

Our Own Self-love Draws A Thick Veil Between Us And Our Faults.

Seek Always For The Best Words And The Happiest Expression You Can Find.

If You Have An Hour, Will You Not Improve That Hour, Instead Of Idling It Away?

Persist And Persevere, And You Will Find Most Things That Are Attainable, Possible.

When I Reflect Upon What I Have Seen, What I Have Heard, What I Have Done, I Can Hardly Persuade Myself That All That Frivolous Hurry And Bustle And Pleasure Of The World Had Any Reality; And I Look On What Has Passed As One Of Those Wild Dreams Which Opium Occasions, And I By No Means Wish To Repeat The Nauseous Dose For The Sake Of The Fugitive Illusion.

Women Of Fashion And Character--i Do Not Mean Absolutely Unblemished--are A Necessary Ingredient In The Composition Of Good Company; The Attention Which They Require, And Which Is Always Paid Them By Well-bred Men, Keeps Up Politeness, And Gives A Habit Of Good-breeding; Whereas Men, When They Live Together Without The Lenitive Of Women In Company, Are Apt To Grow Careless, Negligent, And Rough Among One Another.

Study The Heart And The Mind Of Man, And Begin With Your Own. Meditation And Reflection Must Lay The Foundation Of That Knowledge, But Experience And Practice Must, And Alone Can, Complete It.

In My Mind, There Is Nothing So Illiberal, And So Ill-bred, As Audible Laughter.

Know The True Value Of Time; Snatch, Seize, And Enjoy Every Moment Of It. No Idleness, No Laziness, No Procrastination: Never Put Off Till Tomorrow What You Can Do Today.

You Must Be Respectful And Assenting, But Without Being Servile And Abject. You Must Be Frank, But Without Indiscretion, And Close, Without Being Costive. You Must Keep Up Dignity Of Character, Without The Least Pride Of Birth, Or Rank. You Must Be Gay, Within All The Bounds Of Decency And Respect; And Grave, Without The Affectation Of Wisdom, Which Does Not Become The Age Of Twenty. You Must Be Essentially Secret, Without Being Dark And Mysterious. You Must Be Firm, And Even Bold, But With Great Seeming Modesty.

Let Us Not Only Scatter Benefits, But Even Strew Flowers For Our Fellow-travellers, In The Rugged Ways Of This Wretched World.

Hear One Side And You Will Be In The Dark. Hear Both And All Will Be Clear.

Know The True Value Of Time; Snatch, Seize, And Enjoy Every Moment Of It.

Sex: The Pleasure Is Momentary, The Position Ridiculous, And The Expense Damnable.

Ceremonies Are The Outworks Of Manners.

Pocket All Your Knowledge With Your Watch, And Never Pull It Out In Company Unless Desired.

I Assisted At The Birth Of That Most Significant Word "flirtation," Which Dropped From The Most Beautiful Mouth In The World.

Nature Has Hardly Formed A Woman Ugly Enough To Be Insensible To Flattery Upon Her Person.

Being Pretty On The Inside Means You Don't Hit Your Brother And You Eat All Your Peas - That's What My Grandma Taught Me.

I Look Upon Indolence As A Sort Of Suicide.

The New Year Is The Season In Which Custom Seems More Particularly To Authorize Civil And Harmless Lies, Under The Name Of Compliments. People Reciprocally Profess Wishes Which They Seldom Form And Concern Which They Seldom Feel.

There Is Nothing That People Bear More Impatiently, Or Forgive Less, Than Contempt: And An Injury Is Much Sooner Forgotten Than An Insult.

Insult To Injury

I Have Seen Many People, Who While You Are Speaking To Them, Instead, Of Looking At, And Attending To You, Fix Their Eyes Upon The Ceiling, Or Some Other Part Of The Room, Look Out Of The Window, Play With A Dog, Twirl Their Snuff-box, Or Pick Their Nose. Nothing Discovers A Little, Futile, Frivolous Mind More Than This, And Nothing Is So Offensively Ill-bred.

Deserve A Great Deal, And You Shall Have A Great Deal; Deserve Little, And You Shall Have But A Little; And Be Good For Nothing Atall, And I Assure You, You Shall Have Nothing At All.

At Any Age We Must Cherish Illusions, Consolatory Or Merely Pleasant; In Youth, They Are Omnipresent; In Old Age We Must Search For Them, Or Even Invent Them. But With All That, Boredom Is Their Natural And Inevitable Accompaniment.

Dispatch Is The Soul Of Business, And Nothing Contributes More To Dispatch Than Method.

So Much Are Our Minds Influenced By The Accidents Of Our Bodies, That Every Man Is More The Man Of The Day Than A Regular And Consequential Character.

Cultivate The Habit Of Thinking Ahead, And Of Anticipating The Necessary And Immediate Consequences Of All Your Actions.... Likewise In Your Pleasures, Ask Yourself What Such And Such An Amusement Leads To, As It Is Essential To Have An Objective In Everything You Do. Any Pastime That Contributes Nothing To Bodily Strength Or To Mental Alertness Is A Totally Ridiculous, Not To Say, Idiotic, Pleasure.

Great Merit, Or Great Failings, Will Make You Respected Or Despised; But Trifles, Little Attentions, Mere Nothings, Either Done Or Neglected, Will Make You Either Liked Or Disliked In The General Run Of The World.

Manners Must Adorn Knowledge And Smooth Its Way Through The World.

Little Secrets Are Commonly Told Again, But Great Ones Generally Kept.

Violent Measures Are Always Dangerous, But, When Necessary, May Then Be Looked On As Wise. They Have, However, The Advantage Of Never Being Matter Of Indifference; And, When Well Concerted, Must Be Decisive.

He Adorned Whatever Subject He Either Spoke Or Wrote Upon, By The Most Splendid Eloquence.

Our Prejudices Are Our Mistresses; Reason Is At Best Our Wife, Very Often Heard Indeed, But Seldom Minded.

The Greatest Dangers Have Their Allurements, If The Want Of Success Is Likely To Be Attended With A Degree Of Glory. Middling Dangers Are Horrid, When The Loss Of Reputation Is The Inevitable Consequence Of Ill Success.

As Kings Are Begotten And Born Like Other Men, It Is To Be Presumed That They Are Of The Human Species; And Perhaps, Had They Thesame Education, They Might Prove Like Other Men. But, Flattered From Their Cradles, Their Hearts Are Corrupted, And Their Heads Are Turned, So That They Seem To Be A Species By Themselves.... Flattery Cannot Be Too Strong For Them; Drunk With It From Their Infancy, Like Old Drinkers, They Require Dreams.

Arbitrary Power Has Seldom... Been Introduced In Any Country At Once. It Must Be Introduced By Slow Degrees, And As It Were Step By Step.

Not To Care For Philosophy Is To Be A True Philospher.

Endeavor, As Much As You Can, To Keep Company With People Above You.... Do Not Mistake, When I Say Company Above You, And Think That I Mean With Regard To Their Birth; That Is The Least Consideration; But I Mean With Regard To Their Merit, And The Light In Which The World Considers Them.

There Is Hardly Anybody Good For Everything, And There Is Scarcely Anybody Who Is Absolutely Good For Nothing.

Artichoke: That Vegetable Of Which One Has More At The Finish Than At The Start Of Dinner.

Knowledge Is A Comfortable And Necessary Retreat And Shelter For Us In An Advanced Age; And If We Do Not Plant It While Young, It Will Give Us No Shade When We Grow Old.

One Man Affirms That He Has Rode Post A Hundred Miles In Six Hours; Probably It Is A Lie; But Supposing It To Be True, What Then? Why, He Is A Very Good Post-boy; That Is All. Another Asserts, And Probably Not Without Oaths, That He Has Drunk Six Or Eight Bottles Of Wine At A Sitting; Out Of Charity I Will Believe Him A Liar; For If I Do Not, I Must Think Him A Beast.

Lord Tyrawley And I Have Been Dead These Two Years, But We Don't Choose To Have It Known.

If You Are Not In Fashion, You Are Nobody.

Remember That The Wit, Humour, And Jokes Of Most Mixed Companies Are Local. They Thrive In That Particular Soil, But Will Not Often Bear Transplanting.

Ties Of Blood Are Not Always Ties Of Friendship; But Friendship Founded On Merit, On Esteem, And On Mutual Trust, Becomes More Vital And More Tender When Strengthened By The Ties Of Blood.

Words Are The Dress Of Thoughts; Which Should No More Be Presented In Rags, Tatters, And Dirt Than Your Person Should.

Be Your Character What It Will, It Will Be Known, And Nobody Will Take It Upon Your Word.

I Knew Once A Very Covetous, Sordid Fellow [perhaps William Lowndes], Who Used To Say, `take Care Of The Pence, For The Pounds Will Take Care Of Themselves.

Sincerity W The Most Compendious Wisdom, An Excellent Instrument For The Speedy Despatch Of Business. It Creates Confidence In Those We Have To Deal With, Saves The Labor Of Many Inquiries, And Brings Things To An Issue In Few Words.

I Recommend To You To Take Care Of The Minutes; For Hours Will Take Care Of Themselves. I Am Very Sure, That Many People Lose Two Or Three Hours Every Day, By Not Taking Care Of The Minutes.

Always Make The Best Of The Best, And Never Make Bad Worse.

Best Of The Best

Absolute Power Can Only Be Supported By Error, Ignorance And Prejudice.

In The Ordinary Course Of Things, How Many Succeed In Society Merely By Virtue Of Their Manners, While Others, However Meritorious, Fail Through Lack Of Them? After All, It's Only Barbarians Who Wear Uncut Precious Stones.

Precious Stones

In Nature The Most Violent Passions Are Silent; In Tragedy They Must Speak And Speak With Dignity Too.

Learn To Shrink Yourself To The Size Of The Company You Are In. Take Their Tone, Whatever It May Be, And Excell In It If You Can;but Never Pretend To Give The Tone. A Free Conversation Will No More Bear A Dictator Than A Free Government Will.

Few Men Are Of One Plain, Decided Color; Most Are Mixed, Shaded, And Blended; And Vary As Much, From Different Situations, As Changeable Silks Do From Different Lights.

When A Person Is In Fashion, All They Do Is Right.

Clothes And Fashion

Those Who See And Observe Kings, Heroes, And Statesmen, Discover That They Have Headaches, Indigestion, Humors And Passions, Just Like Other People; Every One Of Which In Their Turns Determine Their Wills In Defiance Of Their Reason.

There Are People Who Indulge Themselves In A Sort Of Lying, Which They Reckon Innocent, And Which In One Sense Is So; For It Hurtsnobody But Themselves. This Sort Of Lying Is The Spurious Offspring Of Vanity, Begotten Upon Folly.

It Is By Vivacity And Wit That Man Shines In Company; But Trite Jokes And Loud Laughter Reduce Him To A Buffoon.

I Really Think Next To The Consciousness Of Doing A Good Action, That Of Doing A Civil One Is The Most Pleasing; And The Epithet Which I Should Covet The Most Next To That Of Aristides, Would Be That Of Well-bred.

Most Maxim-mongers Have Preferred The Prettiness To The Justness Of A Thought, And The Turn To The Truth; But I Have Refused Myself To Everything That My Own Experience Did Not Justify And Confirm.

Women Who Are Either Indisputably Beautiful, Or Indisputably Ugly, Are Best Flattered Upon The Score Of Their Understandings; But Those Who Are In A State Of Mediocrity Are Best Flattered Upon Their Beauty, Or At Least Their Graces; For Every Woman Who Is Not Absolutely Ugly Thinks Herself Handsome.

You Should Not Only Have Attention To Everything, But A Quickness Of Attention, So As To Observe At Once All The People In The Room--their Motions, Their Looks And Their Words--and Yet Without Staring At Them And Seeming To Be An Observer.

In Matters Of Religion And Matrimony I Never Give Any Advice; Because I Will Not Have Anybody's Torments In This World Or The Next Laid To My Charge.

Women's Beauty, Like Men's Wit, Is Generally Fatal To The Owners.

Observe Any Meetings Of People, And You Will Always Find Their Eagerness And Impetuosity Rise Or Fall In Proportion To Their Numbers.

Almost All Men Are Born With Every Passion To Some Extent, But There Is Hardly A Man Who Has Not A Dominant Passion To Which The Others Are Subordinate. Discover This Governing Passion In Every Individual; And When You Have Found The Master Passion Of A Man, Remember Never To Trust To Him Where That Passion Is Concerned.

Were You To Converse With A King, You Ought To Be As Easy And Unembarrassed As With Your Own Valet-de Chambre; But Yet Every Look,word, And Action Should Imply The Utmost Respect.... You Must Wait Till You Are Spoken To; You Must Receive, Not Give, The Subject Of Conversation, And You Must Even Take Care That The Given Subject Of Such Conversation Do Not Lead You Into Any Impropriety.

The Vulgar Only Laugh, But Never Smile; Whereas Well-bred People Often Smile, But Seldom Laugh.

Women Are Much More Like Each Other Than Men: They Have, In Truth, But Two Passions, Vanity And Love; These Are Their Universal Characteristics.

It Seems To Me That Your Doctor [tronchin] Is More Of A Philosopher Than A Physician. As For Me, I Much Prefer A Doctor Who Is Anoptimist And Who Gives Me Remedies That Will Improve My Health. Philosophical Consolations Are, After All, Useless Against Real Ailments. I Know Only Two Kinds Of Sickness--physical And Moral: All The Others Are Purely In The Imagination.

Firmness Of Purpose Is One Of The Most Necessary Sinews Of Character, And One Of The Best Instruments Of Success. Without It, Genius Wastes Its Efforts In A Maze Of Inconsistencies.

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Charles Barkley

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