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It Was The Same Night I Gave Myself To Him Completely, Knowing That I Would Belong To Him For As Long As He Wanted To Keep Me. And, As It Turned Out, Even Longer Than That.

-Emily Giffin

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It Was The Same

Emily Giffin

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It Was The Same Night I Gave Myself To Him Completely, Knowing That I Would Belong To Him For As Long As He Wanted To Keep Me. And, As It Turned Out, Even Longer Than That.

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And Then There Is Our Personal History. Memories Only We Share. Things Not Another Living Soul Would Understand.

Personal History

Life Is About The Gray Areas. Things Are Seldom Black And White, Even When We Wish They Were And Think They Should Be, And I Like Exploring This Nuanced Terrain.

Black And White

I Write About Relationships And I Try To Create Real-life Characters.

Throughout The Ordeal, I Learned That Getting Mad Was Easier Than Being Sad. Anger Was Something I Could Control. I Could Settle Into An Easy Rhythm Of Blame And Hate. Focus My Energy On Something Than The Ache In My Heart.

I Think The Issue Of Female Friendship Really Resonates Well With Women, ... So Many Women Have A Friend Like Darcy Or Can Relate To The Feeling Of Being Second-fiddle To A Friend.

You Don't Have To Talk To Someone To Think About Them And Check Up On Them Now And Again.

Some Of My Very Closest Friends Are My Guy Friends, Going Back To The Third Grade, So I Believe In The Integrity Of The Male-female Friendship.

Luck Is Buying A Lottery Ticket Along With Your Yoo-hoo And Striking It Rich. Nothing About My Life Is Lucky- It Is All About Hard Work, It Is All Uphill Struggle.

I Will Find The Good In This Loss. I Will Make Something Happen That Wouldn't Have Happened Otherwise.

Looking Back, I Question Whether I Really Loved Nate, Or Just The Security Of Our Relationship. I Wonder If My Feelings For Him Didn’t Have A Lot To Do With Hating My Job. From The Bar Exam Through That First Hellish Year As An Associate, Nate Was My Escape. And Sometimes That Can Feel An Awful Lot Like Love.

His Loyalty, So Fierce And Unwavering, Makes My Eyes Water And Heart Ache.

I Think Of How Each Person In A Marriage Owes It To The Other To Find Individual Happiness, Even In A Shared Life. That This Is The Only Way To Grow Together, Instead Of Apart.

Individual Happiness

...love Is The Sum Of Our Choices, The Strength Of Our Commitments, The Ties That Bind Us Together.

I Wish I Could Freeze This Moment, Somehow Delay My Final Decision, And Just Hang Here In The Balance Between Two Places, Two Worlds, Two Loves.

Which Always Raises The Interesting Question Of Whether Redheads Pursue Other Redheads In A Narcissistic Way, Or Simply, Because They Have No Other Choice, As Nonredheads Aren't Interested.

Anything Worthwhile Is Tough.

What If Two People Want To Be Your Partner, Then What?

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

Things Are What They Are And There's No Point Dwelling In The Past Or Wondering What Could Have Been.

Anxiety Was Not An Emotion I Could Ever Remember Feeling When I Went Out In New York, And I Wondered Why Tonight Felt So Different. Maybe It Was Because I No Longer Had A Boyfriend Or Fiance. I Suddenly Recognized That There Was Safety In Having Someone, As Well As A Lack Of Pressure To Shine. Ironically, This Had Cultivated A Certain Free-spiritedness That Had, In Turn, Allowed Me To Be The Life Of The Party And Hoard The Affection Of Additional Men....but That Had All Changed. I Didn't Have A Boyfriend, A Perfect Figure, Or Alcohol-induced Outrageousness To Fall Back On.

It's The Worst Thing To Fall In Love With Someone Who Will Never Stop Disappointing You.

Falling In Love

No Scratch The Word "career". Careers Are People Who Wish To Advance. I Only Want To Survive, Draw A Paycheck. This Is Merely A Job. I Can Take Or Leave This Place. I Start To Imagine Quitting And Following My Yet-to-be-determined Passion.

Guilt Is A Supreme Waste Of Time And Energy.

Everyone Wants To Belong, Or Be A Part Of Something Bigger Than Themselves, But It's Important To Follow Your Heart And Be True To Yourself In The Process.

Hush Little Baby, Dont You Cry, Dont Cut Your Arms, Dont Say Goodbye. Put Down That Razor, Put Down That Light, It Maybe Hard But, You'll Win This Fight.

I Think Of How Life Takes Unexpected Twists And Turns, Sometimes Through Sheer Happenstance, Sometimes Through Calculated Decisions. In The End, It Can All Be Called Fate, But To Me, It Is More A Matter Of Faith.

But I Am Learning That Perfection Isn't What Matters. In Fact, It's The Very Thing That Can Destroy You If You Let It.

It Was About Grace, She Decides, Something That Has Been Missing From Her Own Life. ... She Wants To Be The Kind Of Person Who Can Bestow Unearned Kindness On Another, Replace Bitterness With Empathy, Forgive Only For The Sake Of Forgiving.

I Had Seen The Light, Come To Believe That A Wedding Should Be About A Feeling Between Two People, Not A Show For The Masses...it Was A Magical, Romantic Evening, And Although I Occasionally Wish I Had Worn A Slightly Fancier Dress, And That Nick And I Had Danced On Our Wedding Night, I Have No Real Regrets About The Way We Chose To Do Things.

True Love Is Supposed To Make You Into A Better Person-uplift You.

And Without Dex In My Life, I Like To Think I Could Have Somehow Found Contentment. But The Truth Is, I Feel Freer With Dex Than I Ever Did When I Was Single. I Feel More Myself With Him Than Without. Maybe True Love Does That

I'm Very Open In Terms Of Sharing Bits About My Life, But I Think It's Very Easy To Get A Distorted Sense Of Who Anyone Is Through Social Media.

There Are Two Kinds Of Sorry. There Is The Sorry Imbued With Regret. And A Pure Sorry. The Kind That Is Merely Asking For Forgiveness, Nothing More.

Love And Friendship. They Are What Make Us Who We Are, And What Can Change Us, If We Let Them.

Love And Friendship

I Like To Match What I Wear To My Book Jacket - It's A Little Bit Cheesy, But It's My Thing.

I'm Not Trying To Convey A Message, I'm Just Trying To Tell A Story.

A Theme In A Lot Of My Books - And In My Own Life - Is Making Choices That You Feel You Should Make, Or What Society Wants You To Make, As Opposed To What Is Truly Right For You.

Blurring The Line Between Friendship And Attraction Was A Surefire To Lose A Friend.

In The Final Seconds Before Sleep, I Wish I Could Go Back And Undo Everything, Give Those Little Girls Another Chance.

One More Chnce. Words That My Mother Heard, More Than Once. Words That Women Debate. Whether You Can Forgive And Whether You Should Trust. I Think Of All The Judgment From Society, Friends, And Family, The Overwhelming Consensus Seeming To Be That You Should Not Grant Someone Who Betrayed You A Second Chance. That You Should Do Everything You Can To Keep The Knife Out Of Your Back, And To Protect Your Heart And Pride. Cowards Give Second Chances. Fools Give Second Chances. And I Am No Coward, No Fool.

There Is No Grief Like Heartbreak.

I Learned That Getting Mad Was Easier Than Being Sad.

I Think It's Important To Try To Be Present With Whatever It Is You're Doing. And If You Can't Be Present, Take A Break.

I've Always Loved Sister Stories In Fiction, From The Time I Was Little, Reading About Beezus And Ramona. I've Always Wanted To Write A Sister Story.

It Was The Same Night I Gave Myself To Him Completely, Knowing That I Would Belong To Him For As Long As He Wanted To Keep Me. And, As It Turned Out, Even Longer Than That.

As Everyone Applauds And Sips Champagne, I Smile Back At Rachel, Thinking She Got It Just Right. Love And Friendship. They Are What Makes Us Who We Are And What Can Change Us, If We Let Them.

Love And Friendship

I Have Always Been Drawn To Coming-of-age Stories And Books And Movies Featuring Compelling Young Characters.

Surely He Knows We Are All Watching. That I Am Watching. It Is Always That Way When You Are In A Group And Someone Decides To Go For A Swim Or Walk To The Water. The Ocean Is A Giant Stage. It Is Natural That The Others Watch, If Only For A Moment.

This Time, I Whispered That I Loved Him Too. Then, I Silently Listed All The Reason: I Loved Him For His Gentleness. I Loved Him For Being An Amazing Catch Yet Still Vulnerable Enough To Be Insecure. But Most Of All, I Loved Him For Loving Me.

Throw In The Intensity Of Emotions That Come With That Bittersweet Summer Sandwiched Between High School Graduation And The Rest Of Your Life.

Rest Of Your Life

We Both Have A Lot Of Growing-up To Do... A Lot Of The World To See & Figure Out On Our Own." -- Leo

I Think That We Have To Consciously Be Aware That Every Moment We're In, Every Different Stage In Our Lives, We Can Control.

It's Like Brad Pitt For Us. You Might Not Like Blond Men With Pretty Features, But C'mon, It's Brad. You're Not Going To Kick Him Out Of Bed For Eating Crackers.

We Are In Love And Meant To Be Together.

Meant To Be Together

But I Have Learned That You Make Your Own Happiness, That Part Of Going For What You Want Means Losing Something Else. And When The Stakes Are High, The Losses Can Be That Much Greater.

But I Am Content To Live In The Moment, And Allow Myself The Daily Pleasure Of Obsessing. Nothing Lasts Forever, I Tell Myself. Especially The Good Stuff. Although Typically You Aren't Faced With A Hard Deadline

Live In The Moment

When You Are In A Relationship, You Are Aware That It Might End. You Might Grow Apart, Find Someone Else, Simply Fall Out Of Love. But A Friendship Isn't A Zero-sum Game, And As Such, You Assume That It Will Last Forever, Especially An Old Friendship. You Take Its Permanence For Grandted, Whuch Might Be The Very Thing So Dear About It.

Falling In Love

You'd Do Anything To Get A Soul Mate Back, Right?… I Mean, That's The Nature Of Soul Mates.

Then He Continues His Rant,saying, "and Even If I Didn't Know Them, I Know Their Type." "and What Type Is That?" She Asks,leaning Foward In Her Chair,yearning For Confirmation That He Gets It,that They Are Like-minded In Their Observations Of Others And The Circumspect Way They View The World. "oh,let's See," He Says,rubbing His Jaw. "superficial.artificial.sheep. They're More Worried About How They Come Across To Others Than Who They Really Are.they Exhaust Themselves In Their Pursuit Of Things That Don't Really Matter.

What Appeals To You The Most Is The Very Thing That Will Drive You Crazy

Did She Ever Regret Her Choices? Were Her Decisions More Clear-cut Than Mine - Or Are There Always Shades Of Gray Whe It Comes To Matters Of The Heart?

Nothing Is Ever Perfect. It Is What You Make Of It.

No, Scratch The Word "career." Careers Are For People Who Wish To Advance. I Only Want To Survive, Draw A Paycheck.

Evident In Every Small Act Of Kindness, It Was Love As A Verb. Love That Made Me Feel More Complete Than I Had Ever Felt In My Glamorous, Jimmy Choo Filled Past.

I Find My Voice And Manage To Say Those Three One-syllable Words Back To Him. Words I Haven't Uttered In A Very, Very Long Time. Words That Meant Nothing Before Now.

What's The Point Of Being Sad?" He Says. "we're Here Now.

The Worst Thing About This Particular End (of My Youth) And The Beginning (of Middle Age) Is That For The First Time In My Life, I Realize I Don't Know Where I'm Going. My Wants Are Simple: A Job That I Like And A Guy Whom I Love. And On The Eve Of My Thirteth, I Must Face That I Am 0 For 2.

I Don't Convey That I Can Be Moody Or A Perfectionist Or That I'm A Nervous Person, But I Am All Those Things. It's Just Not Going To Shine Through When You're Posting A Picture.

He Who Fails To Plan, Plans To Fail.

Future Planning

It's Simply Human Nature To Have An Occasional, Fleeting Interest In Someone Whom You Once Loved.

Where We Belong Is Often Where We Least Expect To Find Ourselves—a Place That We May Have Willed Ourselves To Forget, But That The Heart Remembers Forever.

Although I'm Sure There Are Plenty Of Tall, Gorgeous, Life-of-the-party Guys Who Are Also True To Their Wives, I Happen To Believe That A Disproportionate Number Of Them Are Cheaters.

It's Like When Someone Dies, The Initial Stages Of Grief Seem To Be The Worst. But In Some Ways, It's Sadder As Time Goes By And You Consider How Much They've Missed In Your Life. In The World.

Happiness Is The Best Revenge, You Know? Just Be Happy. It's A Choice.

The Worst Is When Someone In Your Past Trumps The Person In Your Present, And You Think To Yourself: If I'd Known This, Then Maybe I Wouldn't Have Let Him Go.

Really-nothing Is Unforgivable If You Truly Love Someone.

If You Truly Love Someone

After All, I Think, Isn't It Always About A Boy?

I Still Think I Love Him More. It's One Of Those Things You Never Know For Certain Because There's No Way To Enter All The Relationship Data In A Computer And Have It Spit Out A Definitive Answer. You Can't Quantify Love, And If You Try, You Wind Up Focusing On Misleading Factors.

Maybe The Thing To Do After You Roll The Dice-and Lose-is Simply Pick Them Up And Roll Them Again.

My Head Spins As I Glance Away, Refusing To Get Sucked Back Into His Gaze When So Much Is At Risk.

Change Can Be Good But Its Always Tough To Let Go Of The Past

Love Relationship

That's How Life Is. Sometimes There Are Happy Endings, Sometimes There Aren't, And More Often There Are Shades Of Gray.

The Feeling I Have Reminds Me Of New Year’s Eve, When The Countdown Is Coming And I’m Not Quite Sure Whether To Grab My Camera Or Just Live In The Moment. Usually I Grab The Camera And Later Regret It When The Picture Doesn’t Turn Out. Then I Feel Enormously Let Down And Think To Myself That The Night Would Have Been More Fun If It Didn’t Mean Quite So Much, If I Weren’t Forced To Analyze Where I’ve Been And Where I’m Going.

He Nods, As If To Acknowledge That Endings Are Almost Always A Little Sad, Even When There Is Something To Look Forward To On The Other Side.

Inevitably I Draw On My Own Relationships When I Write, So If I'm Writing About A Fight Between A Husband And His Wife, Of Course I'm Going To Think About A Recent Fight With My Husband. Or If I'm Writing About Sisters, Of Course I'm Going To Think About My Sister.

Life's Not Black-and-white. Sometimes The Ends Justifies The Means.

Black And White

The Person Who Wants Out Of The Relationship Always Gets Her Way.

And Then There Is Darcy. She Is A Woman Who Believes That Things Should Fall Into Her Lap, And, Consequently, They Do. They Always Have. She Wins Because She Expects To Win. I Do Not Expect What I Want, So I Dont. And I Dont Even Try.

My Wants Are Simple: A Job That I Like And A Guy Whom I Love.

But I Have Learned That You Can't Just Create Your Own Timetable And Will It To Come True.

I Try To Write About Real Women, Real People - In Other Words Flawed Characters.

You Can Love Someone You Mistrust.

I Miss Him In So Many Ways, But Right Now I Miss Him In The Way You Always Miss Someone When You're Single Among A Room Full Of Couples.

Missing Someone

I Love Him Wholly And Unconditionally And Without Reservation. I Love Him Enough To Sacrifice A Friendship. I Love Him Enough To Accept My Own Happiness And Use It, In Turn, To Make Him Happy Back.

She Wonders What Fool Ever Said That It's Better To Have Loved And Lost Than To Have Never Loved At All - She Has Never Disagreed With Something So Much.

Yet Here We Are, Two Children And A Broken Promise Later, Standing Before Each Other, Just The Way We Stood That Day At The Alter, With Equal Parts Love And Hope. And Once Again, I Close My Eyes, Ready To Take A Leap Of Faith, Ready For The Long, Hard Road Ahead. I Have No Idea How It's Going To Turn Out, But Then Again, I Never Really Did.

The World Is Not That Black And White, Rachel. There Are No Moral Absolutes. It Is Complex.

Black And White

But Certainly Not Everyday You Can Find Someone Who Wants To Have A Monogamous Relationship

Monogamous Relationship

He Was Uncomplicated And Upbeat And Easy. At One Point, I Might Have Thought These Traits Made Him A Simpleton, But Now I Think They Just Translate To Happiness.

Despite The Fact That I Have No Regrets About How Things Turned Out In My Life, I Still Can't Help Wanting To Understand My Intense Relationship With Leo, As Well As That Turbulent Time Between Adolescence And Adulthood When Everything Feels Raw And Invigorating And Scary-and Why Those Feelings Are All Coming Back To Me Now.

There Is Always Something Comforting About Knowing That You Are Not Alone. That Other People Feel The Way You Do. That You Are A Bit Screwed Up, But Still Normal.

Don't You Wish We Could Pick The People We Love?" "yeah," I Say. "or Just Make The People We Love Want The Same Things We Want.

My Name Is Kirby Rose, And I'm Adopted. I Don't Mean To Make It Sound Like An Aa Confession, Although Sometimes That's How People Take It, Like It's Something They Should Be Supportive About. I Just Mean That They Are Two Basic Facts About Me.

Sure, We Were Friends Who Exchanged Soulful Glances, Friends Who Slept In A Bed Filled With Sexual Tension, Friends Who Found Any Excuse To Touch, But I Worried That We'd Never Take That Perilous Leap Of Faith Toward Becoming A Real Couple, A Permanent Team.

I Spend The Rest Of The Afternoon Trying To Explain To Zoe One Of The Very Saddest Notions In Love And Life: Sometimes The Timing Is Wrong--and Sometimes You Realize The Heart Of The Matter Way To Late In The Game.

I Try To Be True To The Characters That I've Created And Sometimes I Disagree With Them, But Their Opinions About The Story And The Characters Really Matter To Me.

Songs And Smells Will Bring You Back To A Moment In Time More Than Anything Else. It's Amazing How Much Can Be Conjured With A Few Notes Of A Song Or A Solitary Whiff Of A Room. A Song You Didn't Even Pay Attention To At The Time, A Place That You Didn't Even Know Had A Particular Smell. I Wonder What Will Someday Bring Back Dex And Our Few Months Together. Maybe The Sound Of Dido's Voice. Maybe The Scent Of The Aveda Shampoo I've Been Using All Summer.

Whenever You Make A Big Decision In Life, At Least Any Decision Where You Have A Viable Alternative, There Is An Inevitable Uneasy Aftermath. Anxiety Is Merely A Sign That You're Taking Something Seriously.

Well, Shoes, Bags And Clutches Are Usually My Big Weaknesses - My Husband Always Laughs When I Call Them 'investment Pieces.'

I Try To Recognize That There Is No Such Thing As Having It All - And It's Impossible To Be Perfect. You Just Have To Let Certain Things Go.

When I Meet Someone I Like Being With More Than I Like Being Alone, I'll Marry Her.

Like Being Alone

How Different This Moment Feels, For So Many Reasons. I Tell Myself That No Two Loves Are Identical - But That I Don't Have To Compare Anymore.

Sorrow Comes With So Many Defense Mechanisms. You Have Your Shock, Your Denial, Your Getting Wasted, Your Cracking Jokes, And Your Religion. You Also Have The Old Standby Catchall—the Blind Belief In Fate, The Whole "things Happening For A Reason" Drill.

Instead Of Relief Or Gratitude, More Guilt Washes Over Me. Andy's Certainly Not Faultless - No One Ever Is In A Marriage

It's Amazing To Me How Few Guys Know Their Friends' Birthdays.

There Are People And Places And Events You'd Prefer To Forget Or At Least Gloss Over. In The End, You Can Slap A Pretty Label On It - Like Serendipity Or Fate. Or You Can Believe That It's Just The Random Way Life Unfolds.

I Don't Break Up, I Trade Up

I Do Not Expect To Get What I Want, So I Don't. And I Don't Even Try.

It's A Funny Thing - When I'm Crazed With Work, Spending Time With My Children Relaxes Me. Yet, At The End Of A Long Weekend With Them, The Very Thing I Need To Relax Is A Little Work And Time Away From Them!

Maybe That's What It All Comes Down To. Love, Not As A Surge Of Passion, But As A Choice To Commit To Something, Someone, No Matter What Obstacles Or Temptations Stand In The Way. And Maybe Making That Choice, Again And Again, Day In And Day Out, Year After Year, Says More About Love Than Never Having A Choice To Make At All.

No Matter What The Circumstances. I Am More Like Most Men In This Regard. No Second Chances. It's Not So Much About Morality, But About My Inability To Forgive. I'm A Champion Grudge Holder, And I Don't Think I Could Change This About Myself Even If I Wanted To.

What Every Girl Dreams Of When She's Dumped Is - That The Guy Will Someday Feel Regrest And Come Back And Tell Her All About It. And The Beauty Of It Is You Have No Regrets Whatsoever.

I'm Nostalgic And I Do Think About A "what If."

But Now We Have Time. Endless Time Stretches Before Us.

Sweetened Ice Tea Is One Of The Things I Love About The South, Right Up There With Homemade Biscuits And Cheese Grits.

Love As A Verb. Love As A Commitment.

My Relationship With My Sister Is So Central To My Life. She's My Closest Friend, My Biggest Supporter, And I Know She Would Say The Same About Me.

Closest Friends

There Is No Better Audience For Someone In Love Than Someone In Love.

For True Downtime, I Enjoy Going For Light Runs, Having Drinks With Friends And Going To The Movies With My Husband.

Well, Because Sometimes You Love Someone But They Might Not Be The Right Person For You. That Takes Some Time To Figure Out

People Generally Didn't Cheat In Good Relationships.

Good Relationship

I Wondered Why I Was So Startled By The Encounter When There Was Something That Seemed Utterly Inevitable About The Moment. Not In Any Grand, Destined Sense; Just In The Quiet, Stubborn Way That Unfinished Business Has Of Imposing Its Will On The Unwilling.

Unfinished Business

When You’re In Love, Sometimes You Have To Swallow Your Pride, And Sometimes You Have To Keep Your Pride. It’s A Balance. But When The Relationship Is Right, You Find The Balance.

But One Thing I Have To Say About Darcy And Dating Is This: She Never Blew Us Off For A Guy. She Always Put Her Friends First- Which Is An Amazing Thing For A High School Girl To Do.

We Are One Of Those Couples I Used To Watch, Thinking To Myself That I'd Never Be On The Inside Of Something So Special. I Remember Reassuring Myself That It Probably Looked Nicer Than It Actually Was, I Am Happy To Be Wrong About That.

Whats Not To Love Is Hardly A Reason To Love. And The Catch Of Your Life Is Not The Same Thing As The Love Of Your Life. Be Careful Of That Subtle But Rather Crucial Distinction.

[the] Maid Of Honor - The Unambiguous, Grown-up Equivalent Of Wearing Best Friend Necklaces.

I Don’t Know. She Was A Sweet Girl. As Sweet As They Come. I Don’t Know Why I Didn’t Love Her. It’s Something You Can’t Really Control.

He Threw In The Towel Before We Were Tested. Maybe Because He Didn't Want To Be Tested. Maybe Because He Assumed We Would Fail. Maybe Because, At The Time, He Just Didn't Love Me Enough.

The Best Reason To Pray Is That God Is Really There. In Praying Our Unbelief Starts To Melt. God Moves Smack Into The Middle Of Even An Ordinary Day.

A Son Is A Son 'til He Gets A Wife, But A Daughter Is A Daughter All Her Life.

In My Stories, I Think, As I've Gotten Older, The Characters Have Become Stronger And More Independent, And More Capable Of Making Unconventional Decisions.

And Although One Broken Heart Doesn't Make Me An Expert In The Subject, I Believe You Need Both Things - Time And An Emotional Replacement - To Fully Mend One.

I Nod, Thinking Of How Difficult Marriage Can Be, How Much Effort Is Required To Sustain A Feeling Between Two People - A Feeling That You Can't Imagine Will Ever Fade In The Beginning When Everything Comes So Easily. I Think Of How Each Person In A Marriage Owes It To The Other To Find Individual Happiness, Even In A Shared Life. That Is The Only Real Way To Grow Together, Instead Of Apart.

Individual Happiness

There Are Two Kinds Of Women--those Who Eat In A Crisis And Those Who Lose Their Appetite In A Crisis.

I Think The Most Well-adjusted People Live In The Present With An Eye Toward The Future - I'm Not Among Those.

There Are No Absolutes In Relationships. You Can't Take Anything For Granted. You Can Count On Absolutely Nothing But The Unexpected. You Only Get In Trouble When You Start Thinking That You're Some Kind Of Exception To The Rule.

Exception To The Rule

I've Always Been Intrigued By The Power Of Secrets. When Is It Justifiable To Keep Them From The Ones We Love? And Does Keeping Them Irrevocably Change Who We Are?

You’ll Never Regret Being A Good Friend.

I Want To Make It Official, I Want To Make It Forever

I Remember That My Mother Once Told Me That The Opposite Of Love Isn't Hate, It's Indifference.

Even If We No Longer Have Much In Common, We Would Have Always Had The Past, Which, In Some Ways, Is Just As Important As The Present Or Future. It Is Where We Come From, What Makes Us Who We Are.

When I Write, I Picture The Characters A Certain Way In My Head, And They're Not Like Any Actor Or Actress. It's Almost Hard For Me To Let Go Of My Ideas As To The Way They Look.

Things Certainly Aren't The Way You Imagine Them When You're A Kid And Dreaming Big Dreams About What Your Life As A Grown-up Will Look Like.

Writing A Teen Character Is Something I Wanted To Try Again For A Long Time!

Often I Feel That Projects Overwhelm Us When We Look At How Many Hours Are Involved Until Completion. But Just Getting Started Is Usually Not That Difficult.

I Think I Hoped For Something More. Maybe I Even Hoped That I Could Find In Richard What I Had With Ben. But It Is Suddenly Very Clear: Richard Is Not Fallin In Love With Me And I'm Not Falling In Love With Richard. We Are Not Creating Anything Permanent Or Special. We Are Only Having Fun Together. It Is A Fling- A Fling Just Like He Said Last Night- A Fling With An Ending Yet To Be Determined. I Feel Relieved To Have It Defined

Falling In Love

I Think Some Of The Biggest Time Sucks Are Regret And Guilt, And I Have To Fight Against Those Things All The Time. In A Way, It's A Good Thing, Because It Can Motivate You To Make Amends And Forgive, But Regrets Are Really, I Think, A Supreme Waste Of Time In Many Ways.

Recognizing That There Is More Heartbreak In Continuous Disappointment Than A Void.

It Always Takes Two. For Relationships To Work, For Them To Break Apart, For Them To Be Fixed.

I Really Try To Focus On My Books And Readers.

I Have One Final Hope, If I Get Double Sixes, Maybe He Will Change His Mind, Come Back To Me. As If To Cast A Magic Spell, I Blow On The Dice Just As Dex Did...just As It Happened With Our First Roll, One Die Lands Before Its Mate. On A Six! I Hold My Breath. For A Brief Second, I See A Mess Of Dots, And Think I Have Boxcars Again. I Kneel, Staring At The Second Die. It Is Onle A Five. I Have Rolled An Eleven, It Is As If Someone Is Mocking Me, Saying, Close, But No Dice.

This Is Why You Should Never, Ever Get Your Hopes Up. This Is Why You Should See The Glass As Half Empty. So When The Whole Thing Spills, You Aren’t As Devastated.

I'm Going To Keep Seeing Him As Much As I Can. We'll See What Happens," I Say, Realizing That Just "seeing What Happens" Is My Version Of "going For It.

You See Yourself As Very Average, Ordinary. And There Is Nothing Ordinary About You, Rachel." (something Borrowed)

I'm Glad You Were Both Here," I Finally Manage, Thinking How Strange It Is To Be Standing With The Two People Who Made You, Something Most Kids Take For Granted Every Day Of Their Lives.

I Always Find Something In Common With My Protagonist, Particularly When I Write In The First Person.

One Way Isn't Better Than The Other; They're Just Different.

But Now I Can See That There Is Redemption And Beauty In An Accident Emanating From Love.

Every Couple Has Two Stories - The Edited One To Be Shared From The Couch And The Unabridged Version Best Left Alone.

You Can Only Control Your Own Actions. Not Other People’s Reactions.

I Miss Us, Too. I Always Have, And Probably Always Will

I Don't Really Know Why I Went To Law School.

I Try To Write About Real Women, Real People - In Other Words Flawed Characters. I Find Flawed Characters Much More Interesting Than Perfect Ones And Enjoy The Challenge Of Making Readers Root For Them In Spite Of Their Unsympathetic Path And Destructive Choices. Life Is About The Gray Areas. Things Are Seldom Black And White, Even When We Wish They Were And Think They Should Be, And I Like Exploring This Nuanced Terrain.

And Like A Favorite Old Movie, Sometimes The Sameness In A Friend Is What You Like The Most About Her.

The Whole "misery Loves Company" Thing Never Applies More Than When You're Breaking Up. The Thought That The Other Person Is Doing Fine Is Simply Too Much To Bear.

In Days That Follow, I Discover That Anger Is Easier To Handle Than Grief.

I Had Never Understood What People Meant When They Said They'd Rather Be Alone If They Couldn't Be In The Right Relationship. Now I Got It.

You Can't Quantify Love, And If You Try, You Can End Up Focusing On Misleading Factors. Stuff That Really Has More To Do With Personality-the Fact That Some People Are Simply More Expressive Or Emotional Or Needy In A Relationship. But Beyond Such Smokescreens, The Answer Is There. Love Is Seldom-almost Never-an Even Proposition.

Buried Beneath Disappointment And Fear, Anger And Pride, I Just Might Find It In My Heart To Forgive.

Love Is Seldom—almost Never—an Even Proposition. Someone Always Loves More.

You Can't Quantify Love, And If You Try, You Can Wind Up Focusing On Misleading Factors.

(mother)" She Used To Tell Me To Get My Nose Out Of My Book And Go Get Some Fresh Air.

Then He Asks If He Can Kiss Me. It Is A Question I Don’t Usually Like. Just Do It, I Always Think.

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