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It Is, Indeed, A Trial To Maintain The Virtue Of Humility When One Can't Help Being Right.
-Judith Martin
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It Is, Indeed, A

Judith Martin
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It Is, Indeed, A Trial To Maintain The Virtue Of Humility When One Can't Help Being Right.

Understanding the Quote: "it is, indeed, a trial to maintain the virtue of humility when..."

This quote by Judith Martin reflects deeply on the theme of women. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Women, Humility, Trials, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Judith Martin interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Judith Martin

Judith Martin is celebrated for insightful thoughts on women and humility. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

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Topic
Women
Humility
Trials
More From Judith Martin
Nowadays People Consider It A Disgrace To Admit That They Are Not Stressed.
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It's No Longer Socially Acceptable To Make Bigoted Statements And Racist Remarks. Some People Are Having An Awful Time With That: 'i Didn't Know Anybody Would Be Offended!' Well, Where Have You Been? I Remember When People Got Away With It And They Don't Anymore. That's Fabulous.
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There Are Three Possible Parts To A Date, Of Which At Least Two Must Be Offered: Entertainment, Food, And Affection. It Is Customary To Begin A Series Of Dates With A Great Deal Of Entertainment, A Moderate Amount Of Food, And The Merest Suggestion Of Affection. As The Amount Of Affection Increases, The Entertainment Can Be Reduced Proportionately. When The Affection Is The Entertainment, We No Longer Call It Dating. Under No Circumstances Can The Food Be Omitted.
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Honesty Has Come To Mean The Privilege Of Insulting You To Your Face Without Expecting Redress.
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Etiquette Enables You To Resolve Conflict Without Just Trading Insults. Without Etiquette, The Irritations In Modern Life Are So Abrasive That You See People Turning To The Law To Regulate Everyday Behavior. This Frightens Me; It's A Major Inroad On Our Basic Freedoms.
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We Already Know That Anonymous Letters Are Despicable. In Etiquette, As Well As In Law, Hiring A Hit Man To Do The Job Does Not Relieve You Of Responsibility.
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Adorable Children Are Considered To Be The General Property Of The Human Race. Rude Children Belong To Their Mothers.
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If You Can't Be Kind, At Least Be Vague.
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It's Far More Impressive When Others Discover Your Good Qualities Without Your Help.
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Try Not To Annoy Your Relatives Unnecessarily.
Women
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The Stress Of Making Small Talk With In-laws Is Called Being Part Of A Family.
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Gentle Reader: You, Sir, Are An Anarchist, And Miss Manners Is Frightened To Have Anything To Do With You. It Is True That Questioning The Table Manners Of Others Is Rude. But To Overthrow The Accepted Conventions Of Society, On The Flimsy Grounds That You Have Found Them Silly, Inefficient And Discomforting, Is A Dangerous Step Toward Destroying Civilization.
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The Truly Essential Bargain Between Host And Guest Requires The Guest Only To Respond Promptly, Show Up On Time, Socialize With Other Guests, Thank The Host, Write Additional Thanks And Reciprocate. You Needn't Bring Anything.
Women
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A General Rule Of Etiquette Is That One Apologizes For The Unfortunate Occurrence, But The Unthinkable Is Unmentionable.
Apology
Apologizing
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The One Prediction That Never Comes True Is, 'you'll Thank Me For Telling You This.
Predictions
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Charming Villains Have Always Had A Decided Social Advantage Over Well-meaning People Who Chew With Their Mouths Open.
People
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The Only Way To Enjoy The Fun Of Catching People Behaving Disgustingly Is To Have Children. One Has To Keep Having Them, However, Because It Is Incorrect To Correct Grown People, Even If You Have Grown Them Yourself.
Children
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Everybody's An Art Critic.
Art
Artist
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Perhaps The Greatest Rudenesses Of Our Time Come Not From The Callousness Of Strangers, But From The Solicitousness Of Intimates Who Believe That Their Frank Criticisms Are Always Welcome, And Who Feel Free To "be Themselves" With Those They Love, Which Turns Out To Mean Being Their Worst Selves, While Saving Their Best Behavior For Strangers.
Friendship
Believe
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You Glance At An E-mail. You Give More Attention To A Real Letter.
Real
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Honesty Is A Virtue, But Not The Only One. If You're In A Courtroom You Need The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth; In The Living Room, Sometimes You Need Anything But. Often.
Honesty
Needs
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Fairness Does Not Consist So Much Of Everybody's Doing The Same Thing, But Of Everybody's Being Willing To Do Something That Others Don't Want To Do.
Doe
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Being Listened To Should Be Sufficiently Gratifying In Itself, Whether Or Not The Advice Is Followed.
Women
Advice
Should
We Are All Entitled To Our Little Harmless Habits, But We Are Not Entitled To Demand Approval For Them.
Women
Approval
Demand
The Most Conventional Statements Are Both True And Welcome.
Women
Welcome
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The Rationale That Etiquette Should Be Eschewed Because It Fosters Inequality Does Not Ring True In A Society That Openly Admits To A Feverish Interest In The Comparative Status-conveying Qualities Of Sneakers. Manners Are Available To All, For Free.
Sneakers
Quality
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When Someone Has Tried To Please You, It Is Rude, As Well As Disheartening, To Respond By Announcing That The Effort Was A Failure.
Women
Effort
Rude
When Politeness Is Used To Show Up Other People, It Is Reclassified As Rudeness. Thus It Is Technically Impossible To Be Too Polite.
People
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When You Consider How Epidemic Boredom Is In Our Time, You Have To Concede That Entertaining Is A Healing Art.
Art
Healing
Epidemics
People, In Forming Their Opinions Of Others, Are Usually Lazy Enough To Go By Whatever Is Most Obvious Or Whatever Chance Remark They Happen To Hear. So The Best Policy Is To Dictate To Others The Opinion You Want Them To Have Of You.
People
Lazy
Want
It Is Not Rude To Turn Off Your Telephone By Switching It On To An Answering Machine, Which Is Cheaper And Less Disruptive Than Ripping It Out Of The Wall. Those Who Are Offended Because They Cannot Always Get Through When They Seek, At Their Own Convenience, To Barge In On People Are Suffering From A Rude Expectation.
Wall
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Dishonesty Is Not The Only Alternative To Honesty. There Is Also The Highly Underrated Virtue Of Shutting Up.
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Question- Should I Loan A Small Amount Of Money To A Friend? Answer- If You Are Sure That You Can, If Necessary, Spare Both.
Women
Answers
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You Do Not Have To Do Everything Disagreeable That You Have A Right To Do
Disagreeable
There Is Nothing Like A Good Friend To Help You Out When You Are Not In Trouble.
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It Is A Widespread And Firm Belief Among Guests That Their Departure Is Always A Matter Of Distress To Their Hosts, And That In Order To Indicate That They Have Been Pleasantly Entertained, They Must Demonstrate An Extreme Unwillingness To Allow The Entertainment To Conclude. This Is Not Necessarily True.
Order
Departure
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Many Of The Guests Will Eventually Leave The Table To Watch Football On Television, Which Would Be A Rudeness At Any Other Occasion But Is A Relief At Thanksgiving And Probably The Only Way To Get Those People To Budge.
Thanksgiving
Football
People
To Sacrifice The Principles Of Manners, Which Require Compassion And Respect, And Bat People Over The Head With Their Ignorance Of Etiquette Rules They Cannot Be Expected To Know Is Both Bad Manners And Poor Etiquette. That Social Climbers And Twits Have Misused Etiquette Throughout History Should Not Be Used As An Argument For Doing Away With It.
Ignorance
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What You Have When Everyone Wears The Same Playclothes For All Occasions, Is Addressed By Nickname, Expected To Participate In Show And Tell, And Bullied Out Of Any Desire Form Privacy, Is Not Democracy; It Is Kindergarten.
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Democracy
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Parents Should Conduct Their Arguments In Quiet, Respectful Tones, But In A Foreign Language. You'd Be Surprised What An Inducement That Is To The Education Of Children.
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The Idea That People Can Behave Naturally, Without Resorting To An Artificial Code Tacitly Agreed Upon By Their Society, Is As Silly As The Idea That They Can Communicate By A Spoken Language Without Commonly Accepted Semantic And Grammatical Rules.
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[after The Death Of A Loved One] It Is When There Is Nothing More To Be Done That The Reality Of The Loss Often Hits With Full Force.
Women
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There Are Three Social Classes In America: Upper Middle Class, Middle Class, And Lower Middle Class.
Women
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Everyone Old Enough To Have A Secret Is Entitled To Have Some Place To Keep It.
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Enough
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What We Have Come To, Through A Combination Of Popular Psychology And Expanding Technology, Is A Presumption That All Our Thoughts And Feelings Are Worth Uttering.
Women
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You Think Death Is Any Better An Excuse For Desertion Than Any Other?
Thinking
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Nobody Believes That The Man Who Says, 'look, Lady, You Wanted Equality,' To Explain Why He Won't Give Up His Seat To A Pregnant Woman Carrying Three Grocery Bags, A Briefcase, And A Toddler Is Seized With The Symbolism Of Idealism.
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Men
For Email, The Old Postcard Rule Applies. Nobody Else Is Supposed To Read Your Postcards, But You'd Be A Fool If You Wrote Anything Private On One.
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The Invention Of The Teenager Was A Mistake. Once You Identify A Period Of Life In Which People Get To Stay Out Late But Don't Have To Pay Taxes - Naturally, No One Wants To Live Any Other Way.
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The Etiquette Business Has Its Emergencies, Heaven Knows, But It Is In The Nature Of Etiquette Emergencies That Once One Realizes What One Has Done, It Is Too Late. One Might As Well Get A Good Night's Sleep And Send Flowers With An Apology In The Morning.
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Morning
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Smart People Duck When They Hear The Dread Announcement 'i'm Going To Be Perfectly Honest With You.
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There Is No Etiquette Rule That Decrees One Must Give Out Personal Information To Anyone Who Asks.
Women
Giving
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We Have The Reverse Of The Puritan Work Ethic In America Now. No One Ever Becomes A Star By Plugging Along Year After Year. What Is Needed Is Flair, Talent, 'an Eye,' Contacts, Charisma, And, Most Of All, Naturalness.
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Eye
Years
Washington Knows That It Is Not Safe To Kick People Who Are Down Until You Find Out What Their Next Stop Will Be.
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Safe
Next
Miss Manners Herself, While Never Rude, Is Given To Pulling A Fast Pinch In The Way Of A Handshake On Those Who Believe In Kissing On, Not Even The First Date, But The First Sighting.
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It Is Said That Dispensing Advice Is Easy. What Is Difficult Is Getting Anyone To Listen To It.
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Easy
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Nowadays, You Form Your Beliefs To Fit Your Behavior, Not The Other Way Around.
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Fit
Screening Telephone Calls With A Receptionist Or The Humbler Answering Machine Is Not A Dishonorable Thing To Do. The Warmest People In The World Still Need Uninterrupted Time To Attend To Their Lives And Should Not Be Outwitted If They Have Made It Obvious That They Are Not Always Available Upon Summons.
People
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Only A Person Who Considers Himself Too Good For You Is Good Enough.
Good Enough
Enough
Persons
Generosity And Gratitude Are Inseparably Linked.
Gratitude
Women
Generosity
A Small Wedding Is Not Necessarily One To Which Very Few People Are Invited. It Is One To Which The Person You Are Addressing Is Not Invited.
Wedding
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Knowing That Others Have Gone Through Similar Tragedies May Be A Help, But It Should Be Remembered That Every Tragedy Is Not Only Commonplace But Also Unique.
Unique
Knowing
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Appearing To Pay Attention When Someone Is Speaking Is One Of The Cornerstones Of Real Social Interaction.
Women
Real
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We Are Born Charming Fresh And Spontaneous And Must Be Civilized Before We Are Fit To Participate In Society.
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The Etiquette Question That Troubles So Many Fastidious People New Year's Day Is: How Am I Ever Going To Face Those People Again?
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Years
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Should You Happen To Notice That Another Person Is Extremely Tall Or Overweight, Eats Too Much Or Declines Convivial Drinks, Has Red Hair Or Goes About In A Wheelchair, Ought To Get Married Or Ought Not To Be Pregnant -- See If You Can Refrain From Bringing These Astonishing Observations To That Person's Attention.
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Etiquette Is About All Of Human Social Behavior. Behavior Is Regulated By Law When Etiquette Breaks Down Or When The Stakes Are High - Violations Of Life, Limb, Property And So On. Barring That, Etiquette Is A Little Social Contract We Make That We Will Restrain Some Of Our More Provocative Impulses In Return For Living More Or Less Harmoniously In A Community.
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Learn Graceful Ways Of Saying No And Of Pointing Out That This Pressure To Do Something Is Not In Line With Most People's Wishes.
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Wish
Lines
Most People Who Work At Home Find They Do Not Have The Benefit Of Receptionists Who Serve As Personal Guards
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People
Benefits
People Will Say, 'seventy Isn't Old, It's Middle-aged,' And I Think, Middle Of What - 140?
Thinking
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Middle
Meanwhile, The Empty Forms Of Social Behavior Survive Inappropriately In Business Situations. We All Know That When A Business Sends Its Customers 'friendly Reminders,' It Really Means Business.
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Friendly
Social Behavior
Allowing An Unimportant Mistake To Pass Without A Comment Is A Wonderful Social Grace ... Children Who Have The Habit Of Constantly Correcting Should Be Stopped Before They Grow Up To Drive Spouses And Everyone Else Crazy By Interrupting Stories To Say, 'no, Dear -- It Was Tuesday, Not Wednesday.
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Growing Up
Crazy
If Written Directions Alone Would Suffice, Libraries Wouldn't Need To Have The Rest Of The Universities Attached.
Women
Library
Needs
The Dinner Table Is The Center For The Teaching And Practicing Not Just Of Table Manners But Of Conversation, Consideration, Tolerance, Family Feeling, And Just About All The Other Accomplishments Of Polite Society Except The Minuet.
Food
Teaching
Accomplishment
It Is One Of Miss Manners's Great Discoveries That One Needn't Contradict Others In Order To Set Them Straight.
Women
Discovery
Order
The Underlying Principles Of Manners- Respect, Fairness, And Congeniality.
Women
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The Whole Country Wants Civility. Why Don't We Have It? It Doesn't Cost Anything. No Federal Funding, No Legislation Is Involved. One Answer Is The Unwillingness To Restrain Oneself. Everybody Wants Other People To Be Polite To Them, But They Want The Freedom Of Not Having To Be Polite To Others.
Country
Freedom
Equality
It Has Always Puzzled Me, In My Business, That People Think They Have To Answer Questions, No Matter How Disagreeable Or Dangerous, Just Because They Were Asked. Of Course, We Journalists Would Be Out Of Business If They Didn't.
Thinking
People
Would Be
In Its Natural State, The Child Tells The Literal Truth Because It Is Too Naive To Think Of Anything Else. Blurting Out The Complete Truth Is Considered Adorable In The Young, Right Smack Up To The Moment That The Child Says, 'mommy, Is This The Fat Lady You Can't Stand?
Children
Honesty
Thinking
Ideological Differences Are No Excuse For Rudeness.
Differences
No Excuses
Rudeness
Visiting The Sick Is Supposed To Exhibit Such Great Virtue That There Are Some People Determined To Do It Whether The Sick Like It Or Not. ... All Visitors Everywhere Are Supposed To Make Plans To Depart If They Observe Their Hosts Visibly Wilting Or In Pain, But This Is Especially True At Hospitals.
Pain
People
Sick
Whamming Someone Smaller Than Oneself In Order To Teach That Person Civilized Behavior Is Not Within Miss Manners' Concept Of Propriety, Much Less Logic.
Order
Missing
Logic
When You're In Love, You Put Up With Things That, When You're Out Of Love You Cite.
Positive
Love You
Citing
Do You Have A Kinder, More Adaptable Friend In The Food World Than Soup? Who Soothes You When You Are Ill? Who Refuses To Leave You When You Are Impoverished And Stretches Its Resources To Give A Hearty Sustenance And Cheer? Who Warms You In The Winter And Cools You In The Summer? Yet Who Also Is Capable Of Doing Honor To Your Richest Table And Impressing Your Most Demanding Guests? Soup Does Its Loyal Best, No Matter What Undignified Conditions Are Imposed Upon It. You Don't Catch Steak Hanging Around When You're Poor And Sick, Do You?
Summer
Cheer
Food
Why Bring Children Into A World Where No One Writes Letters?
Children
Writing
World
There Was No Singles Problem Until Singles Got So Single-minded That They Stopped Wasting Time With Anyone Ineligible. Before That, It Was Understood That One Of Society's Main Tasks Was Matchmaking. People With Lifelong Friendships And Ties To Local Nonprofessional Organizations Did Not Have To Fear That Isolation Would Accompany Retirement, Old Age, Or Losing A Spouse. Overburdened Householders Could Count On The Assistance Not Only Of Their Own Extended Families, But Of The American Tradition Of Neighborliness.
Retirement
Organization
Ties
When Virtues Are Pointed Out First, Flaws Seem Less Insurmountable.
Criticism
Firsts
Flaws
I Have Always Believed That The Key To A Happy Marriage Was The Ability To Say With A Straight Face, 'why, I Don't Know What You're Worrying About. I Thought You Were Very Funny Last Night And I'm Sure Everybody Else Did, Too.
Night
Keys
Worry
One Of The Big No-nos In Cyberspace Is That You Do Not Go Into A Social Activity, A Chat Group Or Something Like That, And Start Advertising Or Selling Things. This Etiquette Rule Is An Attempt To Separate One's Social Life, Which Should Be Pure Enjoyment And Relaxation, From The Pressures Of Work.
Selling Things
Relaxation
Groups
One Should Not Be Assigned One's Identity In Society By The Job Slot One Happens To Fill. If We Truly Believe In The Dignity Of Labor, Any Task Can Be Performed With Equal Pride Because None Can Demean The Basic Dignity Of A Human Being.
Jobs
Work
Believe
Society Cannot Exist Without Etiquette ... It Never Has, And Until Our Own Century, Everybody Knew That.
Century
Etiquette
'honesty' In Social Life Is Often Used As A Cover For Rudeness. But There Is Quite A Difference Between Being Candid In What You're Talking About, And People Voicing Their Insulting Opinions Under The Name Of Honesty.
Honesty
Talking
Names
When People Start Hurling Insults At You, You Know Their Minds Are Closed And There's No Point In Debating. You Disengage Yourself As Quickly As Possible From The Situation.
People
Mind
Insult
Sometimes We Do Things A Certain Way Just Because That Is The Way We Do Things.
Women
Way
Sometimes
If You Put Together All The Ingredients That Naturally Attract Children - Sex, Violence, Revenge, Spectacle And Vigorous Noise - What You Have Is Grand Opera.
Sex
Children
Revenge
The More Skillful The Performance Of False Cheer, The More Pleasing The Effect Is Upon One's Public And On That Private Audience To Whom One Owes Even More.
Cheer
Deception
Audience
You Should Resolve Not To Seek Public Approval Of Your Private Business, When You Are Not Also Prepared To Accept Public Disapproval.
Women
Approval
Accepting
Many People Mistakenly Think A New Technology Cancels Out An Old One.
Technology
Thinking
People
People Think, Mistakenly, That Etiquette Means You Have To Suppress Your Differences. On The Contray, Etiquette Is What Enables You To Deal With Them; It Gives You A Set Of Rules.
Mean
Thinking
Differences
The Family Dinner Table Is The Cornerstone Of Civilization And Those Who 'graze' From Refrigerators Or In Front Of The Television Sets Are Doomed To Remain In A State Of Savagery.
Civilization
Television
Tables
What Restricts The Use Of The Word 'lady' Among The Courteous Is That It Is Intended To Set A Woman Apart From Ordinary Humanity, And In The Working World That Is Not A Help, As Women Have Discovered In Many Bitter Ways.
Humanity
Ordinary
Use
A Lot Of Men Got Upset At The Feminist Movement Because They Had All The Toys And We Wanted Some.
Men
Feminist
Upset
. . . Women Were Brought Up To Have Only One Set Of Manners. A Woman Was Either A Lady Or She Wasn't, And We All Know What The Latter Meant. Not Even Momentary Lapses Were Allowed; There Is No Female Equivalent Of The Boys-will-be-boys Concept.
Boys
Female
Lapses
You Can Deny All You Want That There Is Etiquette, And A Lot Of People Do In Everyday Life. But If You Behave In A Way That Offends The People You're Trying To Deal With, They Will Stop Dealing With You...there Are Plenty Of People Who Say, 'we Don't Care About Etiquette, But We Can't Stand The Way So-and-so Behaves, And We Don't Want Him Around!' Etiquette Doesn't Have The Great Sanctions That The Law Has. But The Main Sanction We Do Have Is In Not Dealing With These People And Isolating Them Because Their Behavior Is Unbearable.
Law
People
Everyday
Part Of The Skill Of Saying No Is To Shut Up Afterward And Not Babble On, Offering Material For An Argument.
Women
Skills
Offering
We Are All Born Rude. No Infant Has Ever Appeared Yet With The Grace To Understand How Inconsiderate It Is To Disturb Others In The Middle Of The Night.
Night
Rude
Grace
You Don't Want To Look Too Chic At A Washington Party Or People Will Think You Don't Have A Job Worth Losing.
Jobs
Party
Thinking
The Etiquette Of Intimacy Is Very Different From The Etiquette Of Formality, But Manners Are Not Just Something To Show Off To The Outside World. If You Offend The Head Waiter, You Can Always Go To Another Restaurant. If You Offend The Person You Live With, It's Very Cumbersome To Switch To A Different Family.
Family
Different
World
Manners Require Showing Consideration Of All Human Beings, Not Just The Ones To Whom One Is Close.
Consideration
Manners
Humans
People Say When You're In Love, You Don't Need Etiquette. Well, You Need It Then More Than Anything. Or They Say, "at Home I Can Just Be Myself." What They Mean Is They Can Be Their Worst Selves... They Always Mean They Will Save All Their Anxiety About How To Behave For Somebody Like The Head Waiter Of A Restaurant, Someone They'll Never See Again.
Love You
Home
Mean
Miss Manners Does Not Mind Explaining The Finer Points Of Gracious Living, But She Feels That Anyone Without The Sense To Pick Up A Potato Chip And Stuff It In Their Face Should Probably Not Be Running Around Loose On The Streets.
Running
Missing
Mind
If It's Against State Law, It's Generally Considered A Breach Of Etiquette.
Law
States
Etiquette
Protocol Is Etiquette With A Government Expense Account.
Government
Definitions
Etiquette
Chaperons Don't Enforce Morality; They Force Immorality To Be Discreet.
Inspirational
Teenager
Morality
Shame Is The Proper Reaction When One Has Purposefully Violated The Accepted Behavior Of Society. Inflicting It Is Etiquette's Response When Its Rules Are Disobeyed. The Law Has All Kinds Of Nasty Ways Of Retaliating When It Is Disregarded, But Etiquette Has Only A Sense Of Social Shame To Deter People From Treating Others In Ways They Know Are Wrong. So Naturally Miss Manners Wants To Maintain The Sense Of Shame. Some Forms Of Discomfort Are Fully Justified, And The Person Who Feels Shame Ought To Be Dealing With Removing Its Causes Rather Than Seeking To Relieve The Symptoms.
Law
People
Missing
The Way One Was Brought Up Isn't An Excuse For Rude Behavior.
Women
Rude
Way
People Who Put Slipcovers, Doilies, Plastic Protectors, And Cellophane On Everything Good That They Own Rarely Live To See An Occasion So Good That All These Covers Are Removed.
People
Manners
Plastic
A Wedding Invitation Is Sent By People Who Have Been Saying, "do We Have To Ask Them?" To People Whose First Response Is, "how Much Do You Think We Have To Spend On Them?
Thinking
People
Love And Marriage
Hypocrisy Is Not Generally A Social Sin, But A Virtue.
Hypocrisy
Sin
Virtue
Yes, Etiquette Is Hypocritical. Yes, It Does Inhibit Children - If You're Lucky. But The Idea That It's Elitist And Irrelevant Is Like Saying Language Is Elitist And Irrelevant.
Children
Ideas
Doe
Nowadays, We Never Allow Ourselves The Convenience Of Being Temporarily Unavailable, Even To Strangers. With Telephone And Beeper, People Subject Themselves To Being Instantly Accessible To Everyone At All Times, And It Is The Person Who Refuses To Be On Call, Rather Than The Importunate Caller, Who Is Considered Rude.
People
Rude
Telephones
Allowing An Unimportant Mistake To Pass Without Comment Is A Wonderful Social Grace.
Mistake
Grace
Wonderful
The Pejorative Term "political Correctness" Was Adapted To Express Disapproval Of The Enlargement Of Etiquette To Cover All People, In Spite Of This Being A Principle To Which All Americans Claim To Subscribe.
People
Political
Principles
There Are Always Proper Responses, Even To Rude Questions.
Women
Rude
Response
It Doesn't Matter Whether The Bride Or The Bridegroom Writes The Letters Of Thanks For Wedding Presents Provided That These Go Out Immediately After The Arrival Of Each Present And Are Not In The Handwriting Of The Bride's Mother.
Mother
Writing
Letters
When A Society Abandons Its Ideals Just Because Most People Can't Live Up To Them, Behavior Gets Very Ugly Indeed.
People
Ugly
Behavior
The Challenge Of Manners Is Not So Much To Be Nice To Someone Whose Favor And/or Person You Covet (although More People Need To Be Reminded Of That Necessity Than One Would Suppose) As To Be Exposed To The Bad Manners Of Others Without Imitating Them.
Nice
People
Challenges
Greece Is A Good Place For Rebirths.
Rebirth
Good Place
Greece
The Obligation To Express Gratitude Deepens With Procrastination. The Longer You Wait, The More Effusive Must Be The Thanks.
Gratitude
Procrastination
Waiting
I Make A Distinction Between Manners And Etiquette - Manners As The Principles, Which Are Eternal And Universal, Etiquette As The Particular Rules Which Are Arbitrary And Different In Different Times, Different Situations, Different Cultures.
Principles
Different
Culture
Life Is Full Of Wonderful Passions That Come And Go Over The Years, But The Only One That Will Never Let You Down Is Reading.
Reading
Passion
Years
It Is, Indeed, A Trial To Maintain The Virtue Of Humility When One Can't Help Being Right.
Women
Humility
Trials
Precision Marching Is Less Important For The Bridal Party Than Maintaining The Proper Facial Expresssions: The Bridegroom Must Look Awed; The Bridesmaids, Happy And Excited; The Father Of The Bride, Proud; And The Bride, Demure. If The Bridegroom Feels Doubtful, The Bridesmaids, Sulky, The Father, Worried, And The Bride, Blasé, Nobody Wants To Know.
Father
Party
Important
Email Is Very Informal, A Memo. But I Find That Not Signing Off Or Not Having A Salutation Bothers Me.
Email
Bother
Signing
One Reason That The Task Of Inventing Manners Is So Difficult Is That Etiquette Is Folk Custom, And People Have Emotional Ties To The Forms Of Their Youth. That Is Why There Is Such Hostility Between Generations In Times Of Rapid Change; Their Manners Being Different, Each Feels Affronted By The Other, Taking Even The Most Surface Choices For Challenges.
Emotional
Ties
People
It Is Wrong To Wear Diamonds Before Luncheon, Except On One’s Marriage Rings. Before, After, And During Breakfast, Luncheon And Dinner, It Is Vulgar To Wear A Mixture Of Colored Precious Stones. It Is Always A Comfort To Know That So Many Things One Can’t Afford To Do Anyway Are Vulgar.
Precious Stones
Mixtures
Dinner
A Young Lady Is A Female Child Who Has Just Done Something Dreadful.
Children
Parent
Female
Chaperons, Even In Their Days Of Glory, Were Almost Never Able To Enforce Morality; What They Did Was To Force Immorality To Be Discreet. This Is No Small Contribution.
Pregnancy
Able
Morality
From Memorial Day To Labor Day, You May Wear White Shoes. Not Before And Not After. As A Command, The White Shoe Edict Should Be Clear And Simple Enough. Do Not Violate It. In A Society In Which Everything Else Has Become Relative, A Matter Of How It Makes You Feel, A Question Between You And Your Conscience, And An Opportunity For You To Be Really You, This Is An Absolute.
Memorial Day
Opportunity
Simple
What Is Thanksgiving Without A Nutty Relative?
Women
Nutty
Relative
She Only Maintains That It Is Possible, Under Some Circumstances, For A Lady To Murder Her Husband; But That A Woman Who Wears Ankle-strap Shoes And Smokes On The Street Corner, Though She May Be A Joy To All Who Know Her And Have Devoted Her Life To Charity, Could Never Qualify As A Lady.
Husband
Shoes
Smoking
The Simple Idea That Everyone Needs A Reasonable Amount Of Challenging Work In His Or Her Life, And Also A Personal Life, Complete With Noncompetitive Leisure, Has Never Really Taken Hold.
Inspirational
Taken
Simple
Indeed, Miss Manners Has Come To Believe That The Basic Political Division In This Country Is Not Between Liberals And Conservatives But Between Those Who Believe That They Should Have A Say In The Love Lives Of Strangers And Those Who Do Not.
Country
Believe
Love Life
Like Language, A Code Of Manners Can Be Used With More Or Less Skill, For Laudable Or For Evil Purposes, To Express A Great Variety Of Ideas And Emotions. In Itself, It Carries No Moral Value, But Ignorance In Use Of This Tool Is Not A Sign Of Virtue.
Ignorance
Skills
Ideas
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