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If It Comes To That," Retorted Frederica, With Spirt, " I Am Continually Shocked By The Things You Don't Scruple To Say To Me,cousin! You Are Quite Abominable!" He Sighed. "alas, I Know It! The Reflection Gives Me Sleepless Nights.

-Georgette Heyer

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If It Comes To

Georgette Heyer

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If It Comes To That," Retorted Frederica, With Spirt, " I Am Continually Shocked By The Things You Don't Scruple To Say To Me,cousin! You Are Quite Abominable!" He Sighed. "alas, I Know It! The Reflection Gives Me Sleepless Nights.

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You Don't Feel You Could Marry Me Instead? Got No Brains, Of Course, And I Ain't A Handsome Fellow, Like Jack, But I Love You. Don't Think I Could Ever Love Anyone Else.

My Dear Girl, You Don't Consent To An Abduction! You Consent To An Elopement, And I Knew You Wouldn't Do That.

Depend Upon It, You Are Just The Sort Of Girl A Man Would Be Glad To Have For His Sister! You Don't Even Know How To Swoon, And I Daresay If You Tried You Would Make Wretched Work Of It, For All You Have Is Common Sense, And Of What Use Is That, Pray?

His Attention Caught, Her Companion Raised His Eyes From The Book Which Lay Open Beside Him On The Table And Directed Them Upon Her In A Look Of Aloof Enquiry. 'what's That? Did You Say Something To Me, Venetia?' 'yes, Love,' Responded His Sister Cheerfully, 'but It Wasn't Of The Least Consequence, And In Any Event I Answered For You. You Would Be Astonished, I Daresay, If You Knew What Interesting Conversations I Enjoy With Myself.

Interesting Conversation

[...]if You Talk Any More Flummery To Me, Frederica, I Shall Give You One Of My—er—icy Set-downs!”(alverstoke)

I Daresay Freddy Might Not Be A Great Hand At Slaying Dragons- But One Has Not The Smallest Need Of A Man Who Can Kill Dragons!

I Don't Know What You May Have Seen Fit To Tell Her, Venetia, But So Far As I Understand It You Could Think Of Nothing Better To Do Than To Beguile Her With Some Farrago About Wishing Damerel To Strew Rose-leaves For You To Walk On!" Damerel, Who Had Resumed His Seat, Had Been Staring Moodily Into The Fire, But At These Words He Looked Up Quickly. "rose-leaves?" His Eyes Went To Venetia's Face, Wickedly Quizzing Her. "but My Dear Girl, At This Season?" "be Quiet, You Wretch!" She Said, Blushing.

There Is A Worse Tyranny Than That Of Ill-treatment. It Is The Tyranny Of Tears, Vapours, Appeals To Feelings Of Affection And Of Gratitude!

I Liked That Young Man, Did Not You? There Was Something Particularly Pleasing About His Manners, Which I Thought Very Easy And Frank. He Has An Air Of Honest Manliness, Too, Which, In These Days Of Fribbles And Counter-coxcombs, I Own I Find Refreshing!

No One Could Have Called Mr. Standen Quick-witted, But The Possession Of Three Sisters Had Considerably Sharpened His Instinct Of Self-preservation.

Speed Is The Curse Of The Age.

Your Fate Is Writ Clear;you Will Be Murdered. I Cannot Conceive How It Comes About That You Were Not Murdered Long Since! How Odd!charles Himself Once Said That To Me, Or Something Like It! There Is Nothing Odd In It; Any Sensible Man Must Say It!

When Fate Is Got It In For You, There Is No Limit To What You May Have To Put Up With.

Miss Trent Regarded Her Thoughtfully. "well, It's An Odd Circumstance, But I've Frequently Observed That Whenever You Boast Of Your Beauty You Seem To Lose Some Of It. I Expect It Must Be The Change In Your Expression." Startled, Tiffany Flew To Gaze Anxiously Into The Ornate Looking-glass Which Hung Above The Fireplace. "do I?" She Asked Naively. "really Do I, Ancilla?" "yes, Decidedly," Replied Miss Trent, Perjuring Her Soul Without The Least Hesitation.

It Was Growing Late, And Though One Might Stand On The Brink Of A Deep Chasm Of Disaster, One Was Still Obliged To Dress For Dinner.

What I Mean Is, Like You To Have Everything You Want. Wished It Was Me, That's All

My Dearest Goose, Why Didn't You Trust Me, When I Assured You That You Might?' He Countered. 'i Have Cherished Throughout The Believe That You Would Confide In Me, And You See I Was Quite Right.

People Who Start A Sentence With Personally (and They're Always Women) Ought To Be Thrown To The Lions. It's A Repulsive Habit.

Of Course She Is A Fool, But So Are All Girls.

Sir Richard Sighed. "rid Yourself Of The Notion That I Cherish Any Villainous Designs Upon Your Person," He Said. "i Imagine I Might Well Be Your Father. How Old Are You?" "i Am Turned Seventeen." "well, I Am Nearly Thirty," Said Sir Richard. Miss Creed Worked This Out. "you Couldn't Possibly Be My Father!" "i Am Far Too Drunk To Solve Arithmetical Problems. Let It Suffice That I Have Not The Slightest Intention Of Making Love To You.

This, Said Damerel Wrathfully, Is The Second Time You Have Walked In Just As I Am About To Propose To Your Sister!

I Can't Imagine What Possessed You To Propose To Me." "well That Will Give You Something To Puzzle Over Any Time You Can't Sleep.

Talking To You Is Like -- Like Talking To An Eel!" "no, Is It? I've Never Tried To Talk To An Eel. Isn't It As Waste Of Time?" "not Such A Waste Of Time As Talking To You!

Oh, 'tis Not My Qualities They Object To! 'tis My Lack Of Vice.

The Marquis Believed Himself To Be Hardened Against Flattery. He Thought That He Had Experienced Every Variety, But He Discovered That He Was Mistaken: The Blatantly Worshipful Look In The Eyes Of A Twelve-year-old, Anxiously Raised To His, Was New To Him, And It Pierced His Defences.

I Was Under The Impression That I Warned You That In London Country Ways Will Not Do, Frederica!” “you Did!” She Retorted. “and Although I Can’t Say That I Paid Much Heed To Your Advice It So Happens That I Am Accompanied Today By My Aunt!” “who Adds Invisibility To Her Other Accomplishments!

The Charm Of Your Society, My Sparrow, Lies In Not Knowing What Will You Say Next - Though One Rapidly Learns To Fear The Worst!

Only Trust Me! You Have Fallen Into A Fit Of Despondency And There Is Not The Least Need! In Fact, Nothing Could Be More Fatal, In Any Predicament! It Encourages One To Suppose That There Is Nothing To Be Done, When A Little Resolution Is All That Is Wanted To Bring Matters To A Happy Conclusion.

You Will Allow That One's Curiosity Must Be Aroused When One Learns That A Lady Is Prepared To Elope To Escape From Advances One Had Not The Least Intention Of Making!

I Think Myself I Ought To Be Shot For Writing Such Nonsense.... But It's Unquestionably Good Escapist Literature And I Think I Should Rather Like It If I Were Sitting In An Air-raid Shelter Or Recovering From Flu.

You Know What I Think? Fate! That's What It Is Fate! There's A Thing That Comes After A Fellow:got A Name,but I Forgot What It Is. Creeps Up Behind Him, And Puts Him In The Basket When He Ain't Expecting It.

I Do Not Want A Boy. I Only Want Monseigneur!

Léonie, You Will Do Well To Consider. You Are Not The First Woman In My Life." She Smiled Through Her Tears. "monseigneur, I Would So Much Rather Be The Last Woman Than The First,” She Said.

Oh, Randall, Don't Be Such A Vile Beast!" "i Don't Think Much Of That",he Said Critically. "amiable Snake Was Much Better.

I Have Seen What Comes Of Being Patient," Amanda Said With A Boding Look. "and I Have No Opinion Of It." "what Does Come Of It?" Inquired Sir Gareth. "nothing!

Do You Recall Fred Merriville?” She Stared At Him. “fred Merriville? Pray, What Has He To Say To Anything?” “the Poor Fellow Has Nothing To Say: He’s Dead, Alas!

I Comfort Myself With The Reflection That Your Wife Will Possibly Be Able To Curb Your Desire--i Admit, A Natural One For The Most Part--to Exterminate Your Fellows.

Does It Ever Occur To You, Mama, That My Grandfather Is A Lunatic?

You Have A Genius For Bringing Trouble Upon Yourself

You Must Not Imagine That Papa Or I Have The Least Notion Of Compelling You To Marry Anyone Whom You Hold In Aversion, For I Am Sure That Such A Thing Would Be Quite Shocking! And Charles Would Not Do So Either, Would You, Dear Charles?”(elizabeth Ombersley) “no, Certainly Not. But Neither Would I Consent To Her Marriage With Any Such Frippery Fellow As Augustus Fawnhope!” “augustus,” Announced Cecilia, Putting Up Her Chin, “will Be Remembered Long After You Have Sunk Into Oblivion!” “by His Creditors? I Don’t Doubt It.

Randall Laid His Hand On Stella's, But Only To Remove It From His Sleeve. "my Precious, You Really Must Have Some Regard For My Clothes," He Said With Gentle Reproach. "much As I Love You, I Cannot Permit You To Maul This Particular Coat.

She Succumbed To The Eternal Feminine Passion For Bargains.

Nevertheless, She Did Not Weep, Because, For One Thing, It Would Have Made Her Eyes Red, And Another, It Would Be Of Very Little Use.

Let Me Tell You, My Girl, That I'm Swallowing No More Of Your Insults! And If I Hear Another Word From You In Disparagement Of The Corinthian Set It Will Be Very Much The Worse For You!

How Very Awkward Places We Do Choose In Which To Propose To One Another!' Remarked Mr. Beaumaris

Those Fine Eyes Of Hers Had A Disconcertingly Direct Gaze, And Very Often Twinkled In A Manner Disturbing To Male Egotism. She Had Common-sense Too, And What Man Wanted The Plainly Matter-of-fact, When He Could Enjoy Instead Sophia's Delicious Folly?

You May Have Married Her, But She Is Mine. Do You Think I Shall Let You Take Her? She May Be Ten Times Your Wife, But, By God, You Shall Never Have Her.

If It Comes To That," Retorted Frederica, With Spirt, " I Am Continually Shocked By The Things You Don't Scruple To Say To Me,cousin! You Are Quite Abominable!" He Sighed. "alas, I Know It! The Reflection Gives Me Sleepless Nights.

And Don’t You Say That It Is Very Kind And Obliging Of Him, Sir, Like Jessamy, Because If You Don’t Like A Person, You Don’t Wish To Be Obliged To Him!

You're Only A Man! You've Not Our Gifts! I Can Tell You! Why, A Woman Can Think Of A Hundred Different Things At Once, All Them Contradictory!

You Are An Atrocious Person! Since The Day I Met You I Have Become Steadily More Depraved.

Will You Marry Me, Vile And Abominable Girl That You Are? Yes, But, Mind, It Only To Save My Neck From Being Wrung!

[he Was Aware] Of The Value Of The Word Of Praise Dropped At Exactly The Right Moment; And He Would Have Thought Himself Extremely Stupid To Withhold What Cost Him So Little And Was Productive Of Such Desirable Results.

Did You Imagine That You Would Make Me Believe Ill Of Sophy With Your Foolish And Spiteful Letter!' He Demanded. 'you Have Tried To Set Me Against Her From The Outset, But You Over-reached Yourself Today, My Girl! How Dared You Write In Such Terms To Me! How Could You Have Been So Crassly Stupid As To Suppose That Sophy Could Ever Need Your Countenance To Set Her Right In The Eyes Of The World, Or That I Would Believe One Word Of Slander Against Her?

I Feel An Almost Overwhelming Interest In The Methods Of Daylight Abduction Employed By The Modern Youth.

She Bowed Her Head, Clasping Her Hands Tightly Before Her Upon The Arm Of His Chair, For Her Heart Yearned Towards Him, Yet Could Not Reach Him, And It Made Her Throat Ache With Unhappiness To Meet That Look Of His That Rested On Her Face Without Seeing It.

Well, You Have The Right To Make A Sacrifice Of Yourself, But I'll Be Damned If I'll Let You Sacrifice Me!

I Will Not Listen To Your Verse On An Empty Stomach!" Declared The Vicomte. "you Have No Soul," Said Philippe Sadly. "but I Have A Stomach, And It Cries Aloud For Sustenance." "i Weep For You," Said Philip. "why Do I Waste My Poetic Gems Upon You?

She Decided That Her Wisest Course Would Be To Put Him Out Of Her Mind. After Reaching This Conclusion She Lay Thinking About Him Until At Last She Fell Asleep.

I Remember Only What Interests Me.

There Is Nothing So Mortifying As To Fall In Love With Someone Who Does Not Share One's Sentiments.

Falling In Love

I Don't Know How It Is...but You Seem To Think Me Something Wonderful, And Indeed, I Am Not.

You Will Like Her," He Persisted. "egad, She's After Your Own Heart, Maman! She Shot Me In The Arm." "voyons, Do You Think That Is What I Like?

My House Seems Remarkably Full Of People," He Observed. "is It Possible We Were Expected.

Remind Me One Day To Teach You How To Achieve A Sneer, Hugh. Yours Is Too Pronounced, And Thus But A Grimace. It Should Be But A Faint Curl Of The Lips.

Perhaps,” Murmured His Lordship, “i Yielded To A Compassionate Impulse.” “a What?” Gasped His Best Friend. “oh, Did You Think I Never Did So?” Said His Lordship, The Satirical Glint In His Eyes Extremely Pronounced. “you Wrong Me! I Do, Sometimes—not Frequently, Of Course, But Every Now And Then!

Do You Know, I Think That Of All Your Idiosyncrasies That Choke You Give, When You Are Determined Not To Laugh, Is The One That Most Enchants Me.

Has No One Ever Told You That It Is The Height Of Impropriety To Kiss Any Gentleman, Unless You Have The Intention Of Accompanying Him Immediately To The Altar?

She Stretched Out Her Hand, Saying, “vernon! My Dear, What A Delightful Surprise!” “what’s Surprising About It?” He Enquired, Lifting His Black Brows. “didn’t You Ask Me To Come?” The Smile Remained Pinned To Lady Buxted’s Lips, But She Replied With More Than A Touch Of Acidity: “to Be Sure I Did, But So Many Days Ago That I Supposed You Had Gone Out Of Town!” “oh, No!” He Said, Returning Her Smile With One Of Great Sweetness.

As For The Fan, She Agreed That It Was A Most Amusing Trifle: Just What She Would Wish To Buy For Herself, If It Had Not Been So Excessively Ugly!

God Knows I'm No Saint, But I Don't Think I'm More Of A Sinner Than Any Other Man.

It Has Always Seemed To Me That If One Falls In Love With Any Gentleman One Becomes Instantly Blind To His Faults.but I Am Not Blind To Your Faults, And I Do Not Think That Everything You Do Or Say Is Right! Only—is It Being—not Very Comfortable—and Cross—and Not Quite Happy, When You Aren’t There?” “that, My Darling,” Said His Lordship,taking Her Ruthlessly Into His Arms,“is Exactly What It S!” “oh—!” Frederica Gasped, As She Emerged From An Embrace Which Threatened To Suffocate Her. “now I Know! I Am In Love!

Falling In Love

Miss Grantham Gave A Shriek. 'you Have Trifled With Me!' She Said, Into The Folds Of Her Handkerchief. 'you Promised Me Marriage, And Now You Mean To Cast Me Off For Another!

Is It Not Insupportable To Be Held Down To A Canter When You Long To Gallop For Miles?

I Am Relieved. May I Now Have The Truth?

Eccentricity May Be Diverting, Mama, But It Is Out Of Place In A Wife: Certainly In My Wife!

Judging From The Letters I've Received From Obviously Feeble-minded Persons Who Wish I Would Write Another These Old Shades, It Ought To Sell Like Hot Cakes.

His Grace Was At Her Side, And Lifted Her Down From The Chair. "my Enfant," He Said , "duchesses Do Not Dance On Chairs, Nor Do They Call Their Brothers 'imbécile'." Léonie's Twinkled Irrepressibly. "i Do," She Said Firmly.

Oh, Yes, She's Unusual!' He Said Bitterly. 'she Blurts Our Whatever May Come Into Her Head;she Tumbles From One Outrageous Escapade Into Another;she's Happier Gromming Horses And Hobnobbing With Stable-hands Than Going To Parties; She's Impertinent; You Daren't Catch Her Eye For Fear She Should Start To Giggle; She Hasn't Any Accomplishments; I Never Saw Anyone With Less Diginity; She's Abominable, And Damnably Hot At Hand, Frank To A Fault, And-a Darling!

Miss Grantham's Sense Of Humour Got The Better Of Her At This Point, And, Tottering Towards A Chair, She Sank Into It, Exclaiming In Tragic Accents:'oh Heavens! I Am Betrayed!' His Lordship Blenched; Both He And Miss Laxton Regarded Her With Guilty Dismay. Miss Grantham Buried Her Face In Her Handkerchief, And Uttered One Shattering Word: 'wretch!

The Society Of My Relatives Can Only Be Enjoyed With Frequent Intervals.

I Wish You Did Return My Regard," He Said. "more Than I Have Ever Wished Anything In My Life! Perhaps You May Yet Learn To Do So: I Should Warn You That I Don't Easily Despair!

My Dear Girl, Don't Talk Nonsense To Me! You're Lazy, That's All That's Wrong With You. Why Don't You Take Up Social Work?

As Soon As One Promises Not To Do Something, It Becomes The One Thing Above All Others That One Most Wishes To Do.

Spread The Glad Tidings That It Will Not Disappoint Miss Heyer's Many Admirers. Judging From The Letters I've Received From Obviously Feeble-minded Persons Who Do So Wish I Would Write Another These Old Shades, It Ought To Sell Like Hot Cakes. I Think Myself I Ought To Be Shot For Writing Such Nonsense, But It's Questionably Good Escapist Literature And I Think I Should Rather Like It If I Were Sitting In An Air-raid Shelter, Or Recovering From Flu. Its Period Detail Is Good; My Husband Says It's Witty---and Without Going To These Lengths, I Will Say That It Is Very Good Fun.

You’ve No More For Me Than I Have For You.” Considerably Disconcerted By This Direct Attack, She Stammered: “how Can You Say So? When I Am Sure I Have Always Been Most Sincerely Attached To You!” “you Deceive Yourself, Sister: Not To Me, But To My Purse!

Do You Forget That I Am Your Sister?” “no; I’ve Never Been Granted The Opportunity To Forget It.

What Is Your Name?" "again Sir, That Is No Concern Of Yours." "a Mystery," He Said. "i Shall Have To Call You Clorinda." ..... "judith! What The Devil? Exclaimed Peregrine. "has There Been An Accident?" "judith," Repeated The Gentleman Of The Curricle Pensively. "i Prefer Clorinda.

The More Enchanted The Idyll, Greater Must Be The Pain Of Its Ending.

Horatia Said Eagerly: "oh, You Will Take M-me Instead?" "no," Said Rule, With A Faint Smile. "i Won't Do That. But I Will Engage Not To Marry Your Sister. It's Not Necessary To Offer Me An Exchange, My Poor Child." "b-but It Is!" Said Horatia Vigorously. "one Of Us M-must Marry You!

But It Is Only In Epic Tragedies That Gloom Is Unrelieved. In Real Life Tragedy And Comedy Are So Intermingled That When One Is Most Wretched Ridiculous Things Happen To Make One Laugh In Spite Of Oneself.

And That Reminds Me, Mama! I Have Just Intercepted Another Of That Puppy’s Floral Offerings To My Sister. This Billet Was Attached To It.” (charles)

[...]my Memory Is Reasonably Good—unlike Yours, Dear Sir!” “mine Is Erratic,” He Said Imperturbably. “i Remember Only What Interests Me.

Don't You Dare Call Me Arrogant!if Ever I Had Any At All-which I Deny!- How Much Could I Possibly Have Left After Having Been Ridden Over Rough-shod By You And Thomas, Do You Imagine?

And Now I Wish I Hadn’t Been Civil, Because He Says He Shall Not Despair! He Is As Stupid As Endymion!” “no, No!” Said Alverstoke Soothingly. “nobody Could Be As Stupid As Endymion!

O God, I Love You To The Edge Of Madness, Venetia, But I'm Not Mad Yet--not So Mad That I Don't Know How Disastrous It Might Be To You--to Us Both! You Don't Realize What An Advantage I Should Be Taking Of Your Innocence!

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