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I Think Of The Snarling, Cruel Exchange Back On The Hovercraft. The Bitterness That Followed. But All I Say Is "i Can't Believe You Didn't Rescue Peeta." "i Know," He Replies. There's A Sense Of Incompleteness. And Not Because He Hasn't Apologized. But Because We Were A Team. We Had A Deal To Keep Peeta Safe. A Drunken, Unrealistic Deal Made In The Dark Of Night, But A Deal Just The Same. And In My Heart Of Hearts, I Know We Both Failed. "now You Say It," I Tell Him. "i Can't Believe You Let Him Out Of Your Sight That Night," Says Haymitch.

-Suzanne Collins

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I Think Of The

Suzanne Collins

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I Think Of The Snarling, Cruel Exchange Back On The Hovercraft. The Bitterness That Followed. But All I Say Is "i Can't Believe You Didn't Rescue Peeta." "i Know," He Replies. There's A Sense Of Incompleteness. And Not Because He Hasn't Apologized. But Because We Were A Team. We Had A Deal To Keep Peeta Safe. A Drunken, Unrealistic Deal Made In The Dark Of Night, But A Deal Just The Same. And In My Heart Of Hearts, I Know We Both Failed. "now You Say It," I Tell Him. "i Can't Believe You Let Him Out Of Your Sight That Night," Says Haymitch.

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All The Times These Arms Were My Only Refuge From The World. Perhaps Not Fully Appreciated Then, But So Sweet In My Memory, And Now Gone Forever.

In The End, The Only Person I Truly Want To Comfort Me Is Haymitch, Because He Loves Peeta, Too.

I Can Almost Hear Haymitch Groaning As I Team Up With This Wispy Child. But I Want Her. Because She's A Survivor, And I Trust Her, And Why Not Admit It? She Reminds Me Of Prim.

They Don't Know That I'm Already Asking For The Moon.

What? My Head Doctor Says I'm Not Supposed To Censor My Thoughts. It's Part Of My Therapy.

Once I'm On My Feet I Realize Escape Might Not Be So Simple, Panic Begins To Set In. I Can't Stay Here. Flight Is Essential But I Can't Let My Fear Show. Winning Means Fame And Fortune, Losing Mean Certain Death, The Hunger Games Have Begun . . .

One More Time? For The Audience?" He Says. His Voice Isn't Angry. It's Hollow, Which Is Worse. Already The Boy With The Bread Is Slipping Away From Me. I Take His Hand, Holding On Tightly, Preparing For The Cameras, And Dreading The Moment When I Will Finally Have To Let Go.

My Name Is Katniss Everdeen. My Home Is District Twelve. Peeta Was Taken Prisoner. He Is Thought To Be Dead. Most Likely Is Dead. It Would Probably Be Best If He Were Dead... - Katniss Everdeens

Oh, The Fun We Two Have Together.

I Can't Argue That Finnick Isn't One Of The Most Stunning, Sensuous People On The Planet. But I Can Honestly Say He's Never Been Attractive To Me. Maybe He's Too Pretty, Or Maybe He's Too Easy To Get, Or Maybe It's Really That He'd Just Be Too Easy To Lose.

The Ones I Loved Fly As Birds In The Open Sky Above Me. Soaring, Weaving, Calling To Me To Join Them. I Want So Badly To Follow Them, But The Seawater Saturates My Wings, Making It Impossible To Lift Them. The Ones I Hated Have Taken To The Water, Horrible Scaled Things That Tear My Salty Flesh With Needle Teeth. Biting Again And Again. Dragging Me Beneath The Surface.

I Know. I Was Hoping," I Say. "exactly. Because You're Desperate," Says Haymitch. I Don't Argue Because, Of Course, He's Right.

I Sit Back On My Bed Cross-legged And Find Myself Rubbing The Smooth Iridescent Surface Of The Pearl Back And Forth Against My Lips. For Some Reason, It’s Soothing. A Cool Kiss

I Can Hear Him Weeping But I Don't Care. They Probably Won't Even Bother To Question Her, She's So Far Gone. Gone Right Off The Deep End Years Ago In Her Games. There's A Good Chance I'm Headed In The Same Direction. Maybe I'm Already Going Crazy And No One Has The Heart To Tell Me. I Feel Crazy Enough.

Star-crossed Lovers Desperate To Get Home Together. Two Hearts Beating As One. Romance.

I See Now That The Circumstances Of Ones Birth Are Irrelevent. It Is What You Do With The Gift Of Life That Determines Who You Are

My Name Is Katniss Everdeen. I Am Seventeen Years Old. My Home Is District 12. I Was In The Hunger Games. I Escaped. The Capitol Hates Me.

Doors Are For Those Who Lack Enemies.

Gregor The Overlander

Let Me Go!” I Snarl At Him, Trying To Wrest My Arm From His Grasp. “i Can’t,” He Says.

What Do You Think?" He Asks. "i Hate Them," I Say. I Can Almost Smell The Blood, The Dirt, The Unnatural Breath Of The Mutt. "all I Do Is Go Around Trying To Forget The Arena And You've Brought It Back To Life. How Do You Remember These Things So Exactly?" "i See Them Every Night," He Says.

That It's No Good Loving Me Because I'm Never Going To Get Married Anyway And He'd Just End Up Hating Me Later Instead Of Sooner.

My Guess Is That Fearful Events Are The Hardest To Root Out. They're The Ones We Naturally Remember The Best, After All.

There Were Two Avoxes With Me In Prison. Darius And Lavinia, But The Guards Mostly Called Them The Redheads. They'd Been Our Servants In The Training Center, So They Arrested Them, Too. I Watched Them Being Tortured To Death. She Was Lucky. They Used Too Much Voltage And Her Heart Stopped Right Off. It Took Days To Finish Him Off. Beating, Cutting Off Parts. They Kept Asking Him Questions, But He Couldn't Speak, He Just Made These Horrible Animals Sounds. They Didn't Want Information, You Know? They Wanted Me To See It.

District 12: Where You Can Starve To Death In Safety.

Hunger Games Book

I'm Going To Be The Mockingjay.

He Felt Around Desperately For A Weapon. What Did He Have? Diapers? Cookies? Oh, Why Hadn't They Given Him A Sword? He Was The Stupid Warrior, Wasn't He? His Fingers Dug In The Leather Bag And Closed Around The Root Beer Can. Root Beer! He Yanked Out The Can Shaking It With All His Might. "attack! Attack!" He Yelled.

Maybe I'd Think That, Too, Caesar," Says Petta Bitterly, "if It Weren't For The Baby." There. He's Done It Again.

And Suddenly, It's As If There's No One In The World But These Two, Crashing Through Space To Reach Each Other. They Collide, Enfold, Lose Their Balance, And Slam Against A Wall, Where They Stay. Clinging Into One Being. Indivisible.

Stupid People Are Dangerous.

Peeta And I Had Adjoining Cells In The Capitol. We're Very Familiar With Each Other's Screams.” Annie, Who's On Johanna's Other Side, Does That Thing Where She Covers Her Ears And Exits Reality. Finnick Shoots Johanna An Angry Look As His Arm Encircles Annie. “what? My Head Doctor Says I'm Not Supposed To Censor My Thoughts. It's Part Of My Therapy,” Replies Johanna.

Just The Sound Of His Voice Twists My Stomach Into A Knot Of Unpleasant Emotions Like Guilt, Sadness And Fear. And Longing. I Might As Well Admit There’s Some Of That Too.

I'm Running On Hate. When The Energy From That Ebbs I'll Be Worthless.

Finally, The Intercom Crackles And Hatmitch's Acerbic Laugh Fills The Studio. He Contains Himself Just Long Enough To Say, 'and That, My Friends, Is How A Revolution Dies.

I Say We Try It,' Says Peeta. 'katniss Is Right.' Finnick Looks At Johanna And Raises His Eyebrows. He Will Not Go Forward Without Her. 'all Right,' She Says Finally. 'it's Better Than Hunting Them Down In The Jungle, Anyway. And I Doubt They'll Figure Out Our Plan, Since We Can Barely Understand It Ourselves.

She’s Really Gone, Then. The Little Girl With The Back Of Her Shirt Sticking Out Like A Duck Tail, The One Who Needed Help Reaching The Dishes, And Who Begged To See The Frosted Cakes In The Bakery Window. Time And Tragedy Have Forced Her To Grow Too Quickly, At Least For My Taste, Into A Young Woman Who Stitches Bleeding Wounds And Knows Our Mother Can Hear Only So Much.

The Star-crossed Lovers

Star Crossed Lovers

Well, I Don't Have Much Competition Here." "you Don't Have Much Competition Anywhere.

Yeah, We Wouldn't Want To Lose Our Little Mockingjay When She's Finally Begun To Sing.

Then I Dive Into My Tent Before I Do Something Stupid Like Cry.

This Was The Door To Both Sustenance And Sanity. And We Were Each Other's Key.

Let The Hunger Games Begin!

Of Course You Are. The Tributes Were Necessary To The Games, Too. Until They Weren't," I Say. "and Then We Were Very Disposable - Right, Plutarch?

And Once We Reach The City, My Stylist Will Dictate My Look For The Opening Ceremonies Tonight Anyway. I Just Hope I Get One Who Doesn't Think Nudity Is The Last Word In Fashion.

Opening Ceremony

Because...because...she Came Here With Me.

Hunger For Love

Here Began Countless Days Of Hunting And Snaring, Fishing And Gathering, Roaming Together Through The Woods, Unloading Our Thoughts While We Filled Our Game Bags. This Was The Doorway To Both Sustenance And Sanity. And We Were Each Other's Key.

And Then, If You Make It To Bedtime, You Feel The Joy Of Cheating Death Out Of One More Day," She Said. "do You See?

Maybe The Other Tributes Are Out There Beating One Another Senseless. Which Would Be Fine. - Katniss -

She Genuinely Likes People. All People, Not Just A Select Few She's Spent Years Making Up Her Mind About.

Taking The Kids From Our Districts, Forcing Them To Kill One Another While We Watch – This Is The Capitol’s Way Of Reminding Us How Totally We Are At Their Mercy. How Little Chance We Would Stand Of Surviving Another Rebellion. Whatever Words They Use, The Real Message Is Clear. “look How We Take Your Children And Sacrifice Them And There’s Nothing You Can Do. If You Lift A Finger, We Will Destroy Every Last One Of You. Just As We Did In District Thirteen

Okay, Listen To Me, You're Stronger Than They Are. You Are. They Just Want A Good Show, That's All They Want. You Know How To Hunt. Show Them How Good You Are.

I Flee What I Can't Fight. What Can Only Do Me Harm.

As Long As You Can Find Yourself, You’ll Never Starve.

Finding Yourself

Unfortunately, I Can't Seal The Sponsor Deals For You. Only Haymitch Can Do That," Says Effie Grimly. "but Don't Worry, I'll Get Him To The Table At Gunpoint If Necessary." Although Lacking In Many Departments, Effie Trinket Has A Certain Determination I Have To Admire.

Peeta Crouches Down On The Other Side Of Her And Strokes Her Hair. When He Begins To Speak In A Soft Voice, It Seems Almost Nonsensical, But The Words Aren’t For Me. “with My Paint Box At Home, I Can Make Every Color Imaginable. Pink. As Pale As A Baby’s Skin. Or As Deep As Rhubarb. Green Like Spring Grass. Blue That Shimmers Like Ice On Water.

No Wonder I Won The Games. No Decent Person Ever Does.

No One Really Needs Me,” He Says, And There's No Self-pity In His Voice...“i Do,” I Say. “i Need You.” He Looks Upset, Takes A Deep Breath As If To Begin A Long Argument, And That's No Good, No Good At All, Because He'll Start Going On About Prim And My Mother And Everything And I'll Just Get Confused. So Before He Can Talk, I Stop His Lips With A Kiss.

Don't. Don't Let's Pretend When There's No One Around.

Enobaria Smiles At Johanna. 'don't Look So Smug,' Says Johanna. 'we'll Kill You Anyway.

Want A Sugar Cube?" He Asks In His Old Seductive Voice. That's How We Met, With Finnick Offering Me Sugar. Surrounded By Horses And Chariots, Costumed And Painted For The Crowds, Before We Were Allies. Before I Had Any Idea What Made Him Tick. The Memory Actually Coaxes A Smile Out Of Me. "here, It Improves The Taste," He Says In His Real Voice, Plunking Three Cubes Into My Cup.

But Just The Fact That He Was Sparkling Leads Me To Doubt Everything That Happened.

Impulsively, I Lean Forward And Kiss Him, Stopping His Word. This Is Probably Overdue Anyway Since He’s Right, We Are Supposed To Be Madly In Love.

Peeta Rinses The Pearl Off In The Water And Hands It To Me. “for You.” I Hold It Out On My Palm And Examine Its Iridescent Surface In The Sunlight. Yes, I Will Keep It. For The Few Remaining Hours Of My Life I Will Keep It Close. This Last Gift From Peeta. The Only One I Can Really Accept. Perhaps It Will Give Me Strength In The Final Moments.

I Keep Hoping That As Time Passes By, We’ll Regain The Ease Between Us, But Part Of Me Knows It’s Futile. There’s No Going Back.

Sometimes Things Happen To People And They're Not Equipped To Deal With Them.

‎i'm Not Going Anywhere. I'm Going To Stay Right Here And Cause All Kinds Of Trouble.

I Just...i Just Miss Him. And I Hate Being So Alone.

I Can’t Fight The Sun. I Can Only Watch Helplessly As It Drags Me Into A Day That I’ve Been Dreading For Months. Katniss Everdeen

When I Wake, I Have A Brief, Delicious Feeling Of Happiness That Is Somehow Connected With Peeta. Happiness, Of Course, Is A Complete Absurdity At This Point, Since At The Rate Things Are Going, I'll Be Dead In A Day. And That's The Best-case Scenario, If I'm Able To Eliminate The Rest Of The Field, Including Myself, And Get Peeta Crowned As The Winner Of The Quarter Quell. Still, The Sensation's So Unexpected And Sweet I Cling To It, If Only For A Few Moments. Before The Gritty Sand, The Hot Sun, And My Itching Skin Demand A Return To Reality.

Okay, Maybe I Don't Go Around Loving Everybody I Meet, Maybe My Smiles Are Hard To Come By, But I Do Care For Some People.

I Stand There, Feeling Broken And Small, Thousands Of Eyes Trained On Me.

It's Amazing To See Things That Are Suggested In The Book Fully Developed And So Brilliantly Realized Through The Artistry Of The Designers.

And There I Am, Blushing And Confused, Made Beautiful By Cinna’s Hands, Desirable By Peeta’s Confession, Tragic By Circumstance, And By All Accounts, Unforgettable.

Katniss Everdeen, The Girl Who Was On Fire, You Have Provided A Spark That, Left Unattended, May Grow To An Inferno That Destroys Panem," He Says.

Sick And Disoriented, I'm Able To Form Only One Thought: Peeta Mellark Just Saved My Life.

And, My God, The Actors. The Cast, Led By The Extraordinary Jennifer Lawrence, Is Absolutely Wonderful Across The Board. It’s Such A Pleasure To See How They’ve Embodied The Characters And Brought Them To Life.

I Guess After Tonight Boots Won't Think The Whole World Is Her Friend," Thought Gregor. She Had To Find Out Sometime, But It Still Made Him Sad.

Sometimes When Things Are Particularly Bad, My Brain Will Give Me A Happy Dream. [...] When I Fully Awaken, I'm Momentarily Comforted. I Try To Hold On To The Peaceful Feeling Of The Dream, But It Quickly Slips Away, Leaving Me Sadder Than Ever.

Yes, Everyone In The Districts Will Be Watching Me To See How I Handle This Death Sentence, This Final Act Of President Snow’s Dominance. They Will Be Looking For Some Sign That Their Battles Have Not Been In Vain. If I Can Make It Clear That I’m Still Defying The Capitol Right Up To The End, The Capitol Will Have Killed Me…but Not My Spirit. What Better Way To Give Hope To The Rebels?

I Know We Promised Haymitch, We'd Do Exactly What They Said, But I Don't Think He Considered This Angle.' 'where Is Haymitch, Anyway? Isn't He Supposed To Protect Us From This Sort Of Thing?' Says Peeta. 'with All That Alcohol In Him, It's Probably Not Advisable To Have Him Around An Open Flame,' I Say.

Fine. I'll Train. But I'm Going To The Stinking Capitol If I Have To Kill A Crew And Fly There Myself." Says Johanna. "probably Best Not To Bring That Up In Training," I Say. "but It's Nice To Know I'll Have A Ride.

We're Supposed To Be Making Up This Stuff, Playing At Being In Love, Not Actually Being In Love.

Telling A Story In A Futuristic World Gives You This Freedom To Explore Things That Bother You In Contemporary Times.

I Take His Hand, Holding On Tightly, Preparing For The Cameras, And Dreading The Moment When I Will Finally Have To Let Go.

When You're In The Arena...you Just Remember Who The Enemy Is" - Haymitch

So That Day, In Music Assembly, The Teacher Asked Who Knew The Valley Song. Your Hand Shot Right Up In The Air. She Stood You Up On A Stool And Had You Sing It For Us. And I Swear, Every Bird Outside The Windows Fell Silent...and Right When Your Song Ended, I Knew - Just Like Your Mother - I Was A Goner.

I Don't Know How To Make People Like Me. Cinna, How Do You Make People Like You?

As We Trudge Back Through The Woods, We Reach A Boulder, And Both Gale And I Turn Our Heads In The Same Direction, Like A Pair Of Dogs Catching A Scent On The Wind. Cressida Notices And Asks What Lies That Way. We Admit, Without Acknowledging Each Other, It's Our Old Hunting Rendez-vous Place. She Wants To See It, Even After We Tell Her It's Nothing Really. Nothing But A Place Where I Was Happy, I Think.

But Once I Saw Fulvia Cardew Crumple Up A Sheet Of Paper With Just A Couple Of Words Written On It And You Would’ve Thought She’d Murdered Someone From The Looks She Got.

The Damage, The Fatigue, The Imperfections. That's How They Recognize Me; Why I Belong To Them.

Not Exactly. You See, Portia And I Think That The Coal Miner Thing's Very Overdone. No One Will Remember You In That. And We Both See It Has Our Job To Make District 12 Tributes Unforgettable,' Says Cinna. I'll Be Naked For Sure, I Think. 'so Rather Than Focus On The Coal Mining Itself, We're Going To Focus On The Coal,' Says Cinna. Naked And Covered In Black Dust, I Think. 'and What Do We Do With Coal? We Burn It,' Says Cinna. 'you're Not Afraid Of Fire, Are You, Katniss?' He Sees My Expression And Grins.

I Don’t Know What The Explosion Did, But It Damaged Something Deep And Irreparable. Never Mind. If I Get Home, I’ll Be So Stinking Rich, I’ll Be Able To Pay Someone To Do My Hearing.

And It’s All My Fault, Gale. Because Of What I Did In The Arena. If I Had Just Killed Myself With Those Berries, None Of This Would’ve Happened. Peeta Could Have Come Home And Lived, And Everyone Else Would Have Been Safe, Too.” “safe To Do What?” He Says In A Gentler Tone. “starve? Work Like Slaves? Send Their Kids To The Reaping? You Haven’t Hurt People – You’ve Given Them An Opportunity. They Just Have To Be Brave Enough To Take It.

Cleaning Me Up Is Just A Preliminary Step To Determining My New Look. With My Acid-damaged Hair, Sunburned Skin, And Ugly Scars, The Prep Team Has To Make Me Pretty And Then Damage, Burn, And Scare Me In A More Attractive Way.

You're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

Oh, That I Do Know...katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

Mockingjay Book

The Bird, The Pin, The Song, The Berries, The Watch, The Cracker, The Dress That Burst Into Flames. I Am The Mockingjay. The One That Survived Despite The Capitol's Plans. The Symbol Of The Rebellion.

And We Must Fight Back! President Snow Says He's Sending Us A Message? Well, I Have One For Him. You Can Torture Us And Bomb Us And Burn Our Districts To The Ground, But Do You See That? Fire Is Catching! And If We Burn, You Burn With Us!

Every Day When I Wake I Tell Myself That It Will Be My Last. If You Are Not Trying To Hold On To Time, You Are Not So Afraid Of Losing It... And Then, If You Make It To Bedtime, You Feel The Joy Of Cheating Death Out Of One More Day.

Hope, It Is The Only Thing Stronger Than Fear. A Little Hope Is Effective, A Lot Of Hope Is Dangerous.

So I Thought If I Stopped Being So, You Know, Wounded, We Could Take A Shot At Just Being Friends. - Peeta Mellark

Peeta Smiles And Douses Haymitch's Knife In White Liquor From A Bottle On The Floor. He Wipes The Blade Clean On His Shirt Tail And Slices The Bread. Peeta Keeps All Of Us In Fresh Baked Goods. I Hunt. He Bakes. Haymitch Drinks. We Have Our Own Ways To Stay Busy, To Keep Thought Of Our Time As Contestants In The Hunger Games At Bay.

Maybe I'll Be Like The Man In The Hanging Tree Still Waiting For An Answer.' Gale Who I Have Never Seen Cry Has Tears In His Eyes. To Keep Them From Spilling Over. I Reach Forward And Press My Lips Against His. We Taste Of Heat, Ashes And Misery.

Right Before The Explosions Begin, I Find A Star.

For The Last Year His Grandma Had Been Slipping In And Out Of Reality. One Minute She Was As Clear As A Bell And The Next She Was Calling Him Simon. Who Was Simon? He Had No Idea.

I Know He Was Desperate. That Makes People Do All Kinds Of Crazy Things.

We Had To Save You Because You're The Mockingjay, Katniss," Says Plutarch. "while You Live, The Revolution Lives.

I Had To Do That. At Least Once.

"i Don't Know How To Say It Exactly. Only... I Want To Die As Myself. Does That Make Any Sense?" He Asks. I Shake My Head. How Could He Die As Anyone But Himself. "i Don't Want Them To Change Me In There. Turn Me Into Some Kind Of Monster That I'm Not."

You're Alive," I Whisper, Pressing My Palms Against My Cheeks, Feeling The Smile That's So Wide It Must Look Like A Grimace. Peeta's Alive.

We Sit In Silence Awhile Then I Blurt Out The Thing That's On Both Our Minds. "how Are We Going To Kill These People, Peeta?

The Question Is, What Are You Going To Do?" It Turns Out The Question That's Been Eating Away At Me Has Only Ever Had One Possible Answer. But It Took Peeta's Ploy For Me To Recognize It. What Am I Going To Do? I Take A Deep Breath. My Arms Rise Slightly - As If Recalling The Black-and-white Wings Cinna Gave Me - Then Come To Rest At My Sides. "i'm Going To Be The Mockingjay.

Black And White

Something Inside Me Twists As I Remember Another Voice. Rue. In The Arena. When I Gave Her The Leg Of Groosling. “oh, I've Never Had A Whole Leg To Myself Before.” The Disbelief Of The Chronically Hungry.

The Idea Of Being Strong For Someone Else Having Never Entered Their Heads, I Find Myself In The Position Of Having To Console Them. Since I'm The Person Going In To Be Slaughtered, This Is Somewhat Annoying.

I Have Two Older Sisters And One Older Brother And Hold Them Largely Responsible For The Trouble I Got Into Growing Up. I Believe As The Youngest Child, That Is My Right.

There's No Going Back. So We Might As Well Get On With Things.

Look How We Take Your Children And Sacrifice Them And There’s Nothing You Can Do. If You Lift A Finger, We Will Destroy Every Last One Of You. Just As We Did In District Thirteen.

Flight Is Essential, But I Can't Let My Fear Show.

You Know, You Could Live A Thousand Lifetimes And Not Deserve Him.

Well, Don't Expect Us To Be Too Impressed. We Just Saw Finnick Odair In His Underwear.

That's When I Hear The Scream. So Full Of Fear And Pain It Ices My Blood. And So Familiar. I Drop The Spile, Forget Where I Am Or What Lies Ahead, Only Know I Must Reach Her, Protect Her. I Run Wildly In The Direction Of The Voice, Heedless Of Danger, Ripping Through Vines And Branches, Through Anything That Keeps Me From Reaching Her. From Reaching My Little Sister.

Deep In The Meadow , Under The Willow , A Bed Of Grass , A Soft Green Pillow

So What I'd Really Like Is To Try And Conceal Him Somewhere Safe, Then Go Hunt, And Come Back And Collect Him. But I Have A Feeling His Ego Isn't Going To Go For That Suggestion.

So, In A Way, My Name Being Drawn In The Reaping Was A Real Piece Of Luck," Says Peeta.

My Death Could, In Fact, Save Him. If It Can't, No Matter. It's Enough To Die Of Spite. To Punish Haymitch, Who, Of All The People In This Rotting World, Has Turned Peeta And Me Into Pieces In His Games. I Trusted Him. I Put What Was Precious In Haymitch's Hands. And He Has Betrayed Me.

So I Only Say, "so What Should We Do With Our Last Few Days?" "i Just Want To Spend Every Possible Minute Of The Rest Of My Life With You," Peeta Replies.

There's Always Hand-to-hand Combat. All You Need Is To Come Up With A Knife, And You'll At Least Stand A Chance. If I Get Jumped, I'm Dead!" I Can Hear My Voice Rising In Anger. "but You Won't! You'll Be Living Up In Some Tree Eating Raw Squirrels And Picking Off People With Arrows.

It Must Be Very Fragile, If A Handful Of Berries Can Bring It Down.

The Sun Persists In Rising, So I Make Myself Stand

So People Really Do Tear Out Their Hair And Beat The Ground With Their Fists

It's Lovely. If Only You Could Frost Someone To Death.

Caesar Flickerman Asks If The President Has A Date In Mind. "oh, Before We Set A Date, We Better Clear It With Katniss's Mother," Says The President. The Audience Gives A Big Laugh And The President Puts His Arm Around Me. "maybe If The Whole Country Puts Its Mind To It, We Can Get You Married Before You're Thirty." "you'll Probably Have To Pass A New Law," I Say With A Giggle. "if That's What It Takes," Says The President With Conspiratorial Good Humor. Oh, The Fun We Two Have Together.

A Hysterical Young Woman With Flowing Brown Hair Is Also Called From 4, But She's Quickly Replaced By A Volunteer, An Eighty-year-old Woman Who Needs A Cane To Walk To The Stage.

Then He Smiles As If He'd Be Happy To Lie There And Gaze At Me Forever.

Even If Times Got Bad, He Would Never Again Deny Himself The Possibility That The Future Might Be Happy Even If The Present Was Painful. He Would Allow Himself Dreams.

I Volunteer!" I Gasp. "i Volunteer As Tribute!

I Send A Silent Thank-you To Dalton For Suggesting I Wash Off The Makeup. How Ridiculous, How Perverse I Would Feel Presenting That Painted Capitol Mask To These People. The Damage, The Fatigue, The Imperfections. That's How They Recognize Me, Why I Belong To Them.

He Frosted Under Heavy Guard.

Haymich Finally Drops The Good-natured Act. "you Know Who Else, Katniss. You Know Who Stepped Up First." Of Course I Do. Gale.

I Knew You'd Kiss Me." "how?" I Say. Because I Didn't Know Myself. "because I Am In Pain," He Say's. "that's The Only Way I Get Your Attention.

I Raise My Left Arm And Twist My Neck Down To Rip Off The Pill On My Sleeve. Instead My Teeth Sink Into Flesh. I Yank My Head Back In Confusion To Find Myself Looking Into Peeta’s Eyes, Only Now They Hold My Gaze. Blood Runs From The Teeth Marks On The Hand He Clamped Over My Nightlock. “let Me Go!” I Snarl At Him, Trying To Wrest My Arm From His Grasp. “i Can’t,” He Says.

I'm Unaware That My Feet Are Moving To The Table Until I'm Inches From The Holograph. My Hand Reaches In And Cups A Rapidly Blinking Green Light. Someone Joins Me, His Body Tense. Finnick, Of Course. Because Only A Victor Would See What I See So Immediately. The Arena. Laced With Pods Controlled By Gamemakers. Finnick's Fingers Caress A Steady Red Glow Over A Doorway. "ladies And Gentlemen..." His Voice Is Quiet, But Mine Rings Through The Room. "let The Seventy-sixth Hunger Games Begin!

Still, I Hate Them. But, Of Course, I Hate Almost Everybody Now. Myself More Than Anyone.

Mockingjay Book

Knowing It And Seeing It Are Two Different Things.

Peeta Looks Me Right In The Eye And Gives My Hand What I Think Is Meant To Be A Reassuring Squeeze. Maybe It's Just A Nervous Spasm.

It Crosses My Mind That Cinna's Calm And Normal Demeanor Masks A Complete Madman.

The Only Thing Worse Than Fighting A Giant Scorpion Was Fighting A Giant Scorpion Who Was Trying To Protect Her Young.

Besides, It's The First Gift That's Always The Hardest To Pay Back. I Wouldn't Even Have Been Here To Do It If You Hadn't Helped Me Then.

They Don't Own Me. If I'm Gonna Die, I Wanna Still Be Me.

I Can't Help Comparing What I Have With Gale To What I'm Pretending To Have With Peeta. How I Never Question Gale's Motives While I Do Nothing But Doubt The Latter's. It's Not A Fair Comparison Really. Gale And I Were Thrown Together By A Mutual Need To Survive. Peeta And I Know The Other's Survival Means Our Own Death. How Do You Sidestep That?

And Some Small Gnarled Place Inside Me Hated Her For Her Weakness, For Her Neglect, For The Months She Had Put Us Through. I Had Taken A Step Back From My Mother, Put Up A Wall To Protect Myself From Needing Her, And Nothing Was Ever The Same Between Us Again.

How Much Energy They Put Into Harming Each Other. How Little Into Saving.

And Then He Gives Me A Smile That Just Seems So Genuinely Sweet With Just The Right Touch Of Shyness That Unexpected Warmth Rushes Through Me.

Peeta: You Be Nice To Her, Finnick. Or I Might Try And Take Her Away From You. Finnick: Oh, Peeta. Don't Make Me Sorry I Restarted Your Heart.

If You Die And I Live There's No Life For Me Back In District 12. You're My Whole Life. I Would Never Be Happy Again.

Tonight. After The Reaping, Everyone Is Supposed To Celebrate. And A A Lot Of People Do, Out Of Relief That Their Children Have Been Spared For Another Year. But At Least Two Families Will Pull Their Shutters, Lock Their Doors, And Try To Figure Out How They Will Survive The Painful Weeks To Come.

But There Was Only One Kiss That Made Me Feel Something Stir Deep Inside. Only One That Made Me Want More. But My Head Wound Started Bleeding And He Made Me Lie Down.

You Don't Destroy What You Want To Acquire In The Future.

Johanna Glances Over At Finnick, To Be Sure, Then Turns To Me. “how’d You Lose Mags?” “in The Fog. Finnick Had Peeta. I Had Mags For A While. Then I Couldn’t Lift Her. Finnick Said He Couldn’t Take Them Both. She Kissed Him And Walked Right Into The Poison,” I Say. “she Was Finnick’s Mentor, You Know,” Johanna Says Accusingly. “no, I Didn’t,” I Say. “she Was Half His Family,” She Says A Few Moments Later, But There’s Less Venom Behind It.

Finnick!" Something Between A Shriek And A Cry Of Joy. A Lovely If Somewhat Bedraggled Young Woman--dark Tangled Hair, Sea Green Eyes--runs Toward Us In Nothing But A Sheet. "finnick!" And Suddenly, It's As If There's No One In The World But These Two, Crashing Through Space To Reach Each Other. They Collide, Enfold, Lose Their Balance, And Slam Against A Wall, Where They Stay. Clinging Into One Being. Indivisible. A Pang Of Jealousy Hits Me. Not For Either Finnick Or Annie But For Their Certainty. No One Seeing Them Could Doubt Their Love.

Everything Is About Them, Not The Dying Boys And Girls In The Arena.

It's Impossible To Be The Mockingjay. Impossible To Complete Even This One Sentence. Because Now I Know That Everything I Say Will Be Directly Taken Out On Peeta. Result In His Torture. But Not His Death, No Nothing So Merciful As That. Snow Will Ensure That His Life Is Much Worse Than Death.

Sorry Excuses For Hunters And Friends. Both Of Us.

Look, If You Wanted To Be Babied You Should Have Asked Peeta.

A Furious Peeta Hammers Haymitch With The Atrocity He Could Become Party To, But I Can Feel Haymitch Watching Me. This Is The Moment, Then. When We Find Out Exactly Just How Alike We Are, And How Much He Truly Understands Me. "i'm With The Mockingjay," He Says.

I Don't Think It's Going To Work Out. Winning...won't Help In Any Case. Because...she Came Here With Me. - Peeta Mellark

The Anguish I Always Feel When She's In Pain Wells Up In My Chest And Threatens To Register On My Face.

I Think We Put Our Children At An Enormous Disadvantage By Not Educating Them In War, By Not Letting Them Understand About It At An Early Age.

By The Way, I Know About The Kiss." Then The Door Clicks Shut Behind Him.

You Know, You're Kind Of Squeamish For Such A Lethal Person

My Mouth Has Gone Dry As Sawdust. I Desperately Find Cinna In The Crowd And Lock Eyes With Him. I Imagine The Words Coming From His Lips. 'what's Impressed You Most Since You Arrived Here?' I Rack My Brain For Something That Made Me Happy Here. Be Honest, I Think. Be Honest.

Ally." Peeta Says The Words Slowly, Tasting It. "friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I'll Add It To The List Of Words I Use To Try To Figure You Out. The Problem Is, I Can't Tell What's Real Anymore, And What's Made Up.

It Takes Ten Times As Long To Put Yourself Back Together As It Does To Fall Apart.

Thinking Like Your Prey. . . That's Where You Find Their Vulnerabilities.

What About You?" "not A Clue. I Keep Wishing I Could Bake A Cake Or Something.

Highly Unlikely But Not Impossible.

Peeta Looks At The Glass Again And Puts It Together. "you Mean This Will Make Me Puke?" My Prep Team Laughs Hysterically. "of Course, So You Can Keep Eating," Says Octavia. "i've Been In There Twice Already. Everyone Does It, Or Else How Would You Have Any Fun At A Feast?

"if I Could Grow Wings, I Could Fly. Only People Can't Grow Wings," He Say's. "real Or Not Real?" "real," I Say. "but People Don't Need Wings To Survive." "mockingjays Do."

Yes, I’m A Mouse. Squeak, Squeak. Now Shoo-shoo Back To Your Little Bug Friends,” Said Rirped, Picking Up A Hunk Of Dried Beef. He Tore A Off A Piece With His Teeth And Noticed Boots Hadn’t Moved. He Pulled Back His Lips To Reveal A Row Of Jagged Teeth And Gave Her A Sharp Hiss.

I Start To Crack At Four Hundred To One.

Cato Kneels Beside Clove, Spear In Hand, Begging Her To Stay With Him. In A Moment, He Will Realize It's Futile, She Can't Be Saved.

What I Need Is The Dandelion In The Spring. The Bright Yellow That Means Rebirth Instead Of Destruction. The Promise That Life Can Go On, No Matter How Bad Our Losses. That It Can Be Good Again.

They Can't Hurt Me. I'm Not Like The Rest Of You. There's No One Left I Love.

Scores Only Matter If They’re Very Good, No One Pays Much Attention To The Bad Or Mediocre Ones.

People Don't Need Wings To Survive" "mockingjays Do.

I Cover My Face With My Arms Because This Isn't Happening. It Isn't Possible. For Someone To Make Peeta Forget He Loves Me . . . No One Can Do That.

Shame Isn't A Strong Enough Word For What I Feel. "you Could Live A Hundred Lifetimes And Not Deserve Him, You Know," Haymitch Says.

Why Am I Hopping Around Like Some Trained Dog Trying To Please People I Hate?

Well, I Can't Leave Mags Behind," Says Finnick. "she's One Of The Few People Who Actually Likes Me.

I Knew It. In This Way, Peeta's Not Hard To Predict. While I Was Wallowing Around On The Floor Of That Cellar, Thinking Only Of Myself, He Was Here, Thinking Of Me. Shame Isn't A Strong Enough Word For What I Feel.

Making Knots. Making Knots. No Word. Making Knots. Tick-tock. This Is A Clock. Do Not Think Of Gale. Do Not Think Of Peeta. Making Knots.

I Don’t Want Anyone With Me Today. Not Even Him. Some Walks You Have To Take Alone.

But The Words Are Easy And Soothing, Promising Tomorrow Will Be More Hopeful Than This Awful Piece O Time We Call Today.

I Think About Going To The Lake, But I'm So Weak That I Barely Make It To My Meeting Place With Gale. I Sit On The Rock Where Cressida Filmed Us, But It's Too Wide Without His Body Beside Me. Several Times I Close My Eyes And Count To Ten, Thinking That When I Open Them, He Will Have Materialized Without A Sound As He So Often Did. I Have To Remind Myself That Gale's In 2 With A Fancy Job, Probably Kissing Another Pair Of Lips.

Hey, Look At This!" He Holds Up A Glistening, Perfect Pearl About The Size Of A Pea. "you Know, If You Put Enough Pressure On Coal It Turns To Pearls," He Says Earnestly To Finnick. "no, It Doesn't," Says Finnick Dismissively. But I Crack Up, Remembering That's How A Clueless Effie Trinket Presented Us To The People Of The Capitol Last Year, Before Anyone Knew Us. As Coal Pressured Into Pearls By Our Weighty Existence. Beauty That Arose Out Of Pain.

Crying Is Not An Option.

Oh, He's On Top Of It. It Was Volunteer Only, But He Pretended Not To Notice Me Waving My Hand In The Air," Says Haymitch. "see? He's Already Demonstrated Good Judgment.

Katniss....he's Still Trying To Keep You Alive.

I Swing My Arms To Loosen Myself Up. Place My Fists On My Hips. Then Drop Them To My Sides. Saliva's Filling My Mouth At A Ridiculous Rate And I Feel Vomit At The Back Of My Throat. I Swallow Hard And Open My Lips So I Can Get The Stupid Line Out And Go Hide In The Woods And-that's When I Start Crying.

Are You, Are You Coming To The Tree? Wear A Necklace Of Rope, Side By Side With Me. Strange Things Did Happen Here. No Stranger Would Let It Be If We Met Up At Midnight In The Hanging Tree.

I've Asked You Fifty Questions And Still Have No Sense Of Your Life, Your Family, What You Care About. They Want To Know About You, Katniss." "but I Don't Want Them To! They're Already Taking My Future! They Can't Have The Things That Mattered To Time In The Past!" I Say.

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