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I Might Sound Crazy About This But, Years Ago, My Mom Told Me: "we Almost Died When You Were Born. Both Of Us." I Was A Caesarean Baby, And The Doctor Who Delivered Me Later Told Me, "i Opened Your Mother Up, And You Were Right There. It Freaked Me Out Because Everything Was Broken And Out-there." I've Thought About It A Lot - Could This Have Something To Do With The Fact That I'm Only Happy When I'm At Home And Alone? Maybe I Was Just Freaking Out For Two Weeks Before I Was Born, Feeling Really Insecure.

-Fiona Apple

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I Might Sound Crazy

Fiona Apple

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I Might Sound Crazy About This But, Years Ago, My Mom Told Me: "we Almost Died When You Were Born. Both Of Us." I Was A Caesarean Baby, And The Doctor Who Delivered Me Later Told Me, "i Opened Your Mother Up, And You Were Right There. It Freaked Me Out Because Everything Was Broken And Out-there." I've Thought About It A Lot - Could This Have Something To Do With The Fact That I'm Only Happy When I'm At Home And Alone? Maybe I Was Just Freaking Out For Two Weeks Before I Was Born, Feeling Really Insecure.

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I Don't Want To Give Any Advice To A 19-year-old, Because I Want A 19-year-old To Make Mistakes And Learn From Them. Make Mistakes, Make Mistakes, Make Mistakes. Just Make Sure They're Your Mistakes.

I Keep Living This Day Like The Next Will Never Come.

If I Respect Myself And Believe In What I'm Doing, No One Can Touch Me.

Through The Media, We've Establishes This Standard Of What Every Human Being Should Look Up To: Somebody Who Always Looks Right; Who Always Has The Right Light On Their Face; Never Has Bags Under Their Eyes; Never Says Anything Inappropriate. Somebody Who Always Somehow Turns Out Perfect. I Hate The Fact That Celebrities Are Supposedly A Higher Class Of Human Being. That's The Way I Felt Growing Up, And That's The Way I Think A Lot Of People Feel. So Now That I'm In This Position, I Want To Change Things. I Want To Be Like The Patron Saint Of Reality.

I Really Don't Think Anything I Do Is A Mistake. It Could Be If I Didn't Learn From It. But In The Long Run, No Matter What I Do For The Rest Of My Life, I'll Know I Did Something Wonderful By Saying What I Felt. That's What I Said At The Awards There: "go With Yourself." And That's What I Did.

Never Is A Promise, And You Can't Afford To Lie.

I Really Believe In Completely Being Naive And Having High Hopes When Meeting Someone New. I Can Kind Of Re-do My Stupidity Or My Naivete.

For Me, The Best Times Are Always Going To Be The Most Intense, The Ones With The Highest Highs And The Lowest Lows.

I Took Off My Glasses While You Were Yelling At Me Once More Than Once So As Not To See You See Me React. Should've Put 'em, Should've Put 'em On Again So I Could See You See Me Sincerely Yelling Back.

How Can You Go Wrong With Two People In Love? Goodness Has Nothing To Do With Sexual Orientation. Love Is Love, And There Will Never Be Too Much.

I Volunteered At Ucla's Occupational Therapy Ward, Where There Are Lots Of Kids With Autism And Emotional Problems. I Just Wanted To Prove To Myself That I Could Not Break Down And Cry At Everything, And That I Could Just Help Somebody Else. The One Thing I Really Remember Was That When We Would Take Them Out Of The Hospital For A Walk Around Campus, They Would Freak Out The Most When We Were Waiting For The Elevator. I Remember The Guy At The Elevator Said To Himself, "transitions Are The Hardest." And I Said To Myself, "transitions Are Always The Hardest."

I Got Into Therapy In The Fifth Grade Because I Said In A Sarcastic Way That I Was Going To Kill Myself, And They Didn't Get It Then. Nothing's Changed.

I Was Never Somebody Who Grew Up Going, 'i Really Want To Be A Singer In A Band,' And I Never Had Any Ambition Toward Anything, Really.

It's Weird Not Having Companionship And Not Having Somebody To Talk To. I Have Two Goldfish In My Hotel Room. They Said, "if You Would Like Companionship, We Can Bring You A Goldfish." I Was Like, "bring Me A Goldfish!" I Have Two Because When I Needed The Water Changed They Brought Another One. I Was Like, "don't Take Desmond!"

I'm Such An Incredibly, Stupidly Sensitive Person That Everything That Happens To Me, I Experience It Really Intensely. I Feel Everything Very Deeply. And When You Feel Things Deeply And You Think About Things A Lot And You Think About How You Feel, You Learn A Lot About Yourself. And When You Know Yourself, You Know Life.

Sensitive Person

I Don't Want To Be One Of Those People Who Claim To Hate Labels, But It's True. I Even Feel That We've Got It All Wrong With The Whole Gay/straight Thing. There Is A Spectrum. Everybody Is Completely Different. Some People Are Way Over On This Side Of The Spectrum, Some Are On The Other Side, And Some Are Crossed In Certain Ways.

I Caved In To What People Wanted Me To Do. I Thought That They Weren't Going To Like Me If I Didn't.

I Wouldn't Know What To Do With Another Chance If You Gave It To Me.

The Worst Pain In The World Is Shame.

I'm Not Lazy, But I Don't Have That Spur On My Ass That Most People Have, Like, "oh, God. I Have To Get Something Out Or Else My Career Will Be Over!" I Don't Really Care If My Career Is Over.

Heaven Help Me For The Way I Am, Save Me From These Evil Deeds Before I Get Them Done.

I Feel Like I'm 100 Years Old. I Can't Tell You What I Did Today. I Can't Tell You What I Did For Seven Years. I Can't Tell You. It Happens So Seamlessly - I'm Just Floating Along And Seven Years Go By.

My Whole Life, People Have Been Saying, "why Are You So Angry?" And I Didn't Know What The Hell They Were Talking About. After I Saw Myself At The Mtv Awards, I Realized, Wow, I Do Kind Of Come Off A Bit Intense. I Wasn't Upset At Mtv At All - I Didn't Mean To Come Off That Way. But I Think It's Good If I Appeared A Bit Angry. People Are Too Complacent.

I Never Thought I'd Be In A Position Where People Would Be Talking About My Sexuality And Saying How Good I Look In Underwear.

I Know What My Job Is: I Write The Songs, I Sing Them, I Play Them On The Piano

I Really, Really Enjoy Fitting Words Together - But I Only Enjoy It When It's Easy, When It Sort Of Rolls Along By Itself. I Never Erase Anything [and] I Hardly Ever Write Anything Down... The Song Will Be Finished Before I Write It Down... I Won't Write A Song Unless It Serves Me In Some Way, Unless I Feel I Have To Write The Song To Make Myself Feel Better. If You're Not Overflowing With Something, There's Nothing To Give.

I Think I'm Better At Live Shows Than I Used To Be Because I'm Way More Comfortable With The Uncomfortable Pauses Between Songs. Now, Rather Than Trying To Talk Or Do A Costume Change, I'll Use Those Moments For Myself. I Listen To What Other People Are Playing, Or Just Rest, Or Dance, Even Though I Don't Know How To.

I'm A Tulip In A Cup. I Stand No Chance Of Growing Up

I Got All My Work Done To Graduate In Two Months And Then They Were Like, I'm Sorry, You Have To Take Driver's Ed. I Just Kind Of Went, Oh, Forget It.

There Are Lots Of Poster Children For Angst. But There Aren't Many Poster Children For Cool Angst. Everybody Thinks It's Cool If You're The Bad Girl. But What About The People Who Are Really Not Feeling That Great? Why Can't I Get Up In Front Of Millions Of People, As A Person Who Represents My Generation, And Tell Them That I'm Angry? Who Puts These Limits On What My Personality Should Be In Public?

I Like The Idea Of The Idler Wheel - It Just Sits In Between Things, But It Makes Such A Big Difference In The Way That The Machine Is Working. That Concept Has Always Been Something That Has Interested Me, But I Didn't Really Know Why.

I Don't Mind Making A Fool Of Myself. I Felt Like People Would Be Accepting Of That Because, To Me, That Seems Like An Interesting Way To Do A Show. I've Always Thought That It's Interesting To Watch People Work Things Out On Stage.

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Falling For You

Sometimes Interviews Are Fun And Good Conversations, But Stuff Like Photo Shoots And Appearances At Places Where You Have To Meet A Lot Of People - I Was Never Really Made For This Kind Of Stuff.

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Everybody Acts Like I'm Nuts. I'm Not Nuts I Just Want To Feel It All.

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I Just Don't Really Listen To Music. I'm Probably Missing Out, But I Don't Want To Know What Everybody Else Is Doing. Nobody Is Strong Enough To Not Be Influenced. And I Don't Mean Influenced By Copying - I'd Be Influenced Because I Wouldn't Want To Do What Someone Else Is Doing. I Want To Be Able To Do Whatever I Feel Like Doing And Not Worry About Anything.

When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King What He Knows Throws The Blows When He Goes To The Fight And He'll Win The Whole Thing 'fore He Enters The Ring There's No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand And Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of Heights And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land And If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right

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Just Tolerate My Little Fist Tugging On Your Forest Chest

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The Quick Success Was A Bit Strange To Get Used To.

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I Mean To Prove I Mean To Move In My Own Way/ And Say I've Been Getting Along/ For Long Before You Came Into The Play.

Be Kind To Me, Or Treat Me Mean I'll Make The Most Of It, I'm An Extraordinary Machine

The Age Thing Really Bugs Me. Do People Have More Of A Right To Not Like What I Say Because I'm 19?

I Resent Limitations. I'm Going To Be This Way For A While.

I Want To Be Able To Do Whatever I Feel Like Doing And Not Worry About Anything. Even When I Was A Kid, The Only Contemporary Artist I Listened To Was Cyndi Lauper.

We Are Like A Wishing Well And A Bolt Of Electricity

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Love Is Love, And There Will Never Be Too Much.

I Stand By Everything I've Ever Said, Apologies Included.

I Was So Self-critical. I Still Am, But It's Not As Bad Anymore.

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I'm Not Turned On, So Put Away That Meat You're Selling.

For A While After The Rape, I Was Afraid Of My Own Sexuality, Because I Got Raped Right About The Time When I Started Developing Physically.

I Would Never Kill Myself, But You Can Kind Of Let Yourself Die.

I Can Bake. I Made Myself Some Nice French Fries Once. But Otherwise I Just Eat Out. Lots Of Salad Bars.

I've Been A Bad, Bad Girl - I've Been Careless With A Delicate Man.

One Of My Friends Said To Me, "oh Yeah, Of Course You Aren't Writing." So I Was Like, "the Next Time You See Me, I'm Gonna Have A New Song." I Wrote "criminal" In 45 Minutes When Everyone Else Went To Lunch Because I Had To Have A Hit. I Can Force Myself To Do The Work, But Only If Someone Is Right Up Behind Me.

I Don't Care What People Do. I Don't Care How People Remember My Albums. I Do Them For My Own Reasons.

Dreams Can Be Deceiving, Like Faces Are To Hearts.

You Can Live Your Whole Life In Your Brain And Not Experience What's Around You. You Go Crazy That Way. That's Why I Have To Watch Myself When I Get Isolated For Too Long.

I Let The Beast In Too Soon I Don't Know How To Live Without His Hand On My Throat. I Fight Him Always And Still. Oh, Darling It's So Sweet. You Think You Know How Crazy, How Crazy I Am.

Everything That Happens With Me Gets Made Out To Be A Fiasco, But I Have Every Right To Do Everything I've Ever Done. I Stand By Everything I've Ever Said, Apologies Included.

Men Are My Bread And Butter. It's What I Live For! I Have No Shame About That.

When I Came In From Paris Recently, For Some Reason The Guy From Customs Wanted To Know What Kind Of Music I Wrote. I Was Like, "i Really Want To Please You So You Don't Keep Me Here, But I Have No Answer To That."

Nobody Is Strong Enough To Not Be Influenced.

I'm Incredibly Impressed By People Who Organize To Achieve A Goal, And Believe That They Can Make A Difference And Then Go Ahead And Do Just That. I Think It's Incredible.

I Also Just Accept That I Might Never Want To Write A Song Again.

I Still Don't Know What Episcopalian Means.

For Many Years, I Was A Really Heavy Drinker, But People Don't Know About That Because I'm By Myself All The Time. Recently, I Didn't Drink For Eight Or Nine Months, And I Learned That Alcohol Was Quadrupling The Embarrassing Moments - Those Moments When You're Drunk And You Say Something You Remember The Next Morning And Feel Embarrassed About.

My Problem Was That I Felt Ashamed Of Feeling Sad Or Angry. Now, I Don't Hide My Vulnerability In My Lyrics. There's No Way I Was Going To Get Raped And Not Get Something Out Of It. I Learned About Power And Hope And Forgiveness. I Like Who I Am Now And I Wouldn't Be Who I Am If That Hadn't Happened.

I Want To Move Back To The East Coast. I Like Venice, But L.a. Is Ugly. I Would Kill Myself If I Had To Look Out The Window And See Some Places In L.a. Every Day.

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It's A Sad, Sad World When A Girl Will Break A Boy, Just Because She Can.

Come On. I Got Drunk When I Was Like 5.

I Didn't Want To Be Precious About Things. Of Course, The Idea Is To Make Great Music, But If You Have Great Musicians Up There, It Gives Me Some Leeway To Play Around A Little Bit.

But I Honestly Don't Read Critics. My Dad Reads Absolutely Everything Ever Written About Me. He Calls Me Up To Read Ecstatic Reviews, But I Always Insist That I Can't Hear Them. If You Give Value To The Good Reviews, You Have To Give Value To The Criticism.

When You're Surrounded By All These People, It Can Be Even Lonelier Than When You're By Yourself. You Can Be In A Huge Crowd, But If You Don't Feel Like You Can Trust Anybody Or Talk To Anybody, You Feel Like You're Really Alone.

I've Never Been To The Websites. It's A Lot Healthier For Me To Keep Out Of The Conversations About Me.

I Realized I Was Trying To Be Friends With Somebody Who I Used To Be With But Who I Didn't Get Along With. I'm Really Big On That. I Need To Be Friends With Everyone That I've Ever Had A Relationship With.

It Pisses Me Off To Think We're Conditioned To Push Away Bad Feelings And Think Anything That's Uncomfortable Is To Be Avoided. When Things Are Really Bad Nowadays, I Recognize The Value In It Because It's Me Filling My Quota- It's Going To Make My Joy More Intense Later.

My Whole Life, People Have Been Saying, "why Are You So Angry?"

My Heart Went Cold And Only Hollow Rhythms Resounded From Within, But Then He Rose, Brilliant As The Moon In Full And Sank In The Burrows Of My Keep, And All My Armor, Falling Down, In A Pile At My Feet.

I Spend A Lot Of Time Trying To Not Do Anything Bad To Anyone, But You Can't Live Your Life And Not Hurt People.

No Matter How Well Prepared You Are In Life, You're Gonna Fall Down A Hole, And If You Can Fix The Frayed Ends Of Things, Then You're Better Off.

I Really Don't Think Anything I Do Is A Mistake. It Could Be If I Didn't Learn From It.

You Fondle My Trigger, Then You Blame My Gun

I'm Not A Control Freak.

If I Were To Imagine Myself As An Idler Wheel Inside Some Big Mix Of Gears, Then I Would Be Connected To Everything. It's Not Like There's Just Me And Then Nothing.

The Way I Feel About Music Is That There Is No Right And Wrong. Only True And False.

At My Lowest Moments, I Think Of People Who Come To Shows. I Still Get Very Sad And Sometimes I Feel Like I Have No Friends, But When That Happens Now, I'll Think Of People Whose Names Or Faces I Don't Know - They're My Friends And They Love Me. I've Got Them. It Really Does Save Me. I Still Feel Awkward, But That's The One Thing I Can Grab Onto At My Lowest Points.

I Think I'm Better At Live Shows Than I Used To Be Because I'm Way More Comfortable With The Uncomfortable Pauses Between Songs.

These Days I Don't Know Who Really Likes Me. I Always Assume Most People Are Bullshitting Me.

I'm Not A Functional Person Because I Don't Go On Lunch Dates With Friends. I Hear About People Having Dinner Parties But I Never Do That. I'm Not Really Human.

"the Way I Feel About Music -- Any Song, Any Style -- Is That There Is No Right And Wrong, Only True And False. If The Music And Lyrics Are Conceived Out Of Honesty And If The Production Of The Song Goes Along With Its Original Message, Then What Has Been Expressed Is Art, Regardless Of What Anyone's Opinion Is Of It. So Things Are A Lots Impler If You Just Tell The Truth.

I Think That, Y'know, They Seem To Really Love Music, Which Means They'll Stick With It. I Think That Hanson Could Be Really Good In A Few Years, Actually!

If I Have One Success In My Relationship History, It's With The People Who Listen To My Music. I Think That They'll Be There With Me Forever, And I'll Be There With Them Forever. And I'm Totally Satisfied With That.

I Had Really Bad Obsessive-compulsive Disorder. At Its Worst, I Was Compelled To Leave My House At Three O'clock In The Morning And Go Out In The Alley Because I Just Knew That The Paper-towel Roll I Threw In The Recycling Bin Was Uncomfortable, Like It Was Lying The Wrong Way, And I Would Be Down In The Garbage.

The Truth Is It's Fun To Be Up There And Know That You're In Your Underwear. Even Though I Know I'm Exploiting My Sexuality In A Certain Way, It's Fun! It Boosts My Ego.

I Just Want To Feel Everything.

It's Calm Under The Waves In The Blue Of My Oblivion.

I Resent Limitations. I'm Going To Be This Way For A While, And Then The Funny Side Of Me Is Going To Come Out. Slowly, People Are Going To Realize They're Seeing A Completely Honest Evolution Of Human Life.

When You're Famous Weird Things Will Happen That End Up Hurting Your Feelings. I'll Get A Letter From Somebody I Knew A While Ago And I'll Be Really Touched. Then I'll Turn Over The Envelope And Their Business Card Falls Out.

Divas Are Not Made, They Are Born.

Let Me Know The Way, Before There's Hell To Pay.

This World Is Bullshit. And You Shouldn't Model Your Life — Wait A Second — You Shouldn't Model Your Life About What You Think That We Think Is Cool And What We're Wearing And What We're Saying And Everything. Go With Yourself. Go With Yourself.

I Read On The Internet That I Was Dead.

I Was Screaming Into The Canyon At The Moment Of My Death; The Echo I Created Outlasted My Last Breath.

In A Sense It's A Lot Crazier When You're On The Road And It's A Lot Less Stable, But It's Actually Really Healthy For Me Because It Keeps Me From Isolating, Which I Tend To Do A Lot.

I'm Not Used To Not Having Enough Time To Live With The Songs. Usually, If I Write Something, I Live With It For A Little While.

I Don't Have A Big Thing About Leaving My Mark Or Being Historic.

My Scars Were Reflecting The Mist In Your Headlights I Looked Like A Neon Zebra, Shaking Rain Off Her Stripes

I Dare Anybody To Look At Me And Say I'm Anorexic. I'm So Totally Not.

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If You Want To See Me Cry, Just Come To A Photo Shoot.

It's True/ I Do Imbue My Blue Unto Myself/ I Make It Bitter.

I Still Don't Know How To Drive. I Don't Go Anywhere, Really. My Brother Drives Me. I Walk Around My Neighborhood But I Don't Go Anywhere, Nor Do I Want To.

Now I Feel Like Whatever I Do, No One Can Hurt Me. I Cannot Be Violated, I Cannot Be Humiliated, I Cannot Be Disregarded, I Cannot Be Disrespected.

I Used To Get A Shiver If I Thought About Holding Balloons, Because I Was Scared Of Floating Away.

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Because For Whatever Reason, Even Though I Want To Stay Home All The Time And Be Left Alone, I Want To Tell The World Who I Am Now.

I've Gone Through Stages Where I Hate My Body So Much That I Won't Even Wear Shorts And A Bra In My House Because If I Pass A Mirror, That's The End Of My Day.

Nothing That You Do Will Ever Feel Good If You Let People Convince You That You Have No Choice.

I Have Never Been So Insulted In All My Life I Could Swallow The Seas To Wash Down All This Pride First You Run Like A Fool Just To Be At My Side And Now You Run Like A Fool But You Just Run To Hide.

In A Strange Way, I'm Way More Comfortable Onstage Than Anywhere Else.

I Wanted To Write A Happy Song. I Didn't Know How.

I Never Went To Concerts When I Was A Kid, So I Never Knew If What I Was Doing Onstage Was Right.

Don't Waste Your Crazy!

I Used To Love To Make Things - You Couldn't Drag Me Away For Dinner Because I Was Always Writing A Story Or Something.

I Have Never Bought Myself A Computer Or A Phone, But Guys In My Life Have Bought Them For Me, For Whatever Reason. So Now I Have Them.

When You Feel Things Deeply And You Think About Things A Lot And You Think About How You Feel, You Learn A Lot About Yourself.

Love Is A Hell You Cannot Bear.

And If I'm Being Honest, I Don't Think I Have An Ex-boyfriend Who Would Have Something Mean To Say About Me.

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Put A Little Love Here In My Void.

I'm Here Because Of What I Write. Obviously, I Must Know Something

Most Of The Time You Need Something To Fight Against. If Something Is Bothering Me, Then The Only Way To Get Past It Is To Work Through It.

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I Want To Be Like The Patron Saint Of Reality.

I Only Write When I'm Angry Or Sad, So Because That's When I Just Have To Write... If I'm Having A Good Time And I'm Happy And Things Are Going Really Well, Why Would I Want To Stop What I'm Doing To Go And Write At The Piano?

Do They Think I'm On Drugs? That I Have A Life-threatening Illness? That I'm Anorexic? Emotionally, It Doesn't Get Easier To Hear Those Criticisms - But It Gets Easier To Be Resolute About My Reaction To It.

There Aren't Many Poster Children For Cool Angst. Everybody Thinks It's Cool If You're The Bad Girl.

I Have A Very Steadfast Tendency To Parent Myself, To Monitor My Development Into The Person I Want To Be. I've Tried To Keep The Corruption Minimal.

There Were Songs I Would Write About Breaking Up With Somebody Before I Broke Up With Them, Months And Months Before I Broke Up With Them.

Even Though I Found You On An Ordinary Day, It Felt Like I Found A Precious Pearl In An Oyster When I Deep Dived Into The Sea. Baby, You Are Really That Precious To Me.

I Can Spend A Lot Of Time On The Internet As A Substitute For Tv. This Is Part Of The Reason Why I'm Not A Good Girlfriend - You Can't Sit Down With Me And Watch A Movie. I Hate Being Strapped Down To Stay With Something.

No, I've Never Wanted Kids. But I Do Read About Parenting A Lot.

Five Years From Now I'm Probably Going To Look Back On The Things I'm Doing And Cringe.

Home Is Where My Habits Have A Habitat

I Got Drunk When I Was Five. Everybody Gets Drunk Before They're 21.

As A Person Who Performs On Stage, It's Good To Be Emotionally Open. If You Mess With Someone When They Are In That State, It's Like You're Messing With An Animal When It's Eating.

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I Don't Think What I Look Like Is Relevant.

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I Don't Want To Make This Sound Negative At All, But In The Best Way Possible I Freaking Give Up. I Give Up. You Can't Try And Make Your Life Perfect. I'm Just Trying To Have A Good Time, And I'm Just Trying To Appreciate The Things That I Have Around Me. I Give Up On The 'dream' Dream. I Think That It's All A Dream. I Think It's All Wonderful And Terrible. And I Give Up In The Nicest Way.

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What's Really Good Is African Drum Music.

How Can You Go Wrong With Two People In Love? If A Good Boy Loves A Good Girl, Good. If A Good Boy Loves Another Good Boy, Good. And If A Good Girl Loves The Goodness In Good Boys And Good Girls, Then All You Have Is More Goodness, And Goodness Has Nothing To Do With Sexual Orientation.

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