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I‟m Going To Kill Her,” Francesca Said To No One In Particular. Which Was Probably A Good Thing, As There Was No One Else Present. “who Are You Talking To?” Hyacinth Demanded. “god,” Francesca Said Baldly. “and I Do Believe I Have Been Given Divine Leave To Murder You.” “hmmph,” Was Hyacinth‟s Response. “if It Was That Easy, I‟d Have Asked Permission To Eliminate Half The Ton Years Ago.” Francesca Decided Just Then That Not All Of Hyacinth‟s Statements Required A Rejoinder. In Fact, Few Of Them Did.

-Julia Quinn

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I‟m Going To Kill

Julia Quinn

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I‟m Going To Kill Her,” Francesca Said To No One In Particular. Which Was Probably A Good Thing, As There Was No One Else Present. “who Are You Talking To?” Hyacinth Demanded. “god,” Francesca Said Baldly. “and I Do Believe I Have Been Given Divine Leave To Murder You.” “hmmph,” Was Hyacinth‟s Response. “if It Was That Easy, I‟d Have Asked Permission To Eliminate Half The Ton Years Ago.” Francesca Decided Just Then That Not All Of Hyacinth‟s Statements Required A Rejoinder. In Fact, Few Of Them Did.

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Rehearsels, Actually." "rehearsals?" "for The-" Oh,no. "-musicale." The Smythe-smith Musical.it Finished Off What The Crusades Had Begun.there Wasn't A Man Alive Who Could Maintain A Romantic Thought When Faced With The Memory-or The Threat-of A Smythe-smith Musicale.

You Always Get More Respect When You Don't Have A Happy Ending.

So He Decided To Stay Out Of It And Instead Turned Back To Lady Bridgerton, Who Was, As It Happened, The Closest Person To Him, Anyway. “and How Are You This Afternoon?” He Asked. Lady Bridgerton Gave Him A Very Small Smile As She Handed Him His Cup Of Tea. “smart Man,” She Murmured. “it’s Self-preservation, Really,” He Said Noncommittally. “don’t Say That. They Wouldn’t Hurt You.” “no, But I’m Sure To Be Injured In The Cross Fire.

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And, She Was Able To Tell Herself With Some Satisfaction, The Man In Question - One Colin Bridgerton - Felt Precisely The Same Way.... ....his Earth Shook, His Heart Leaped, And Penelope Knew Without A Doubt That His Breath Was Taken Away As Well. For A Good Ten Seconds. Falling Off A Horse Tended To Do That To A Man.

Phillip Looked To Eloise. "perhaps Introductions Are In Order?" "oh," Eloise Said, Gulping. "yes, Of Course. These Are My Brothers." "i'd Gathered," He Said, His Voice As Dry As Dust. She Shot Him An Apologetic Look, Which, Phillip Thought, Was Really The Least She Could Do After Nearly Getting Him Tortured And Killed, Then Turned To Her Brothers And Motioned To Each In Turn, Saying, "anthony, Benedict, Colin, Gregory. These Three," She Added, Motioning To A, B, And C, "are My Elders. This One"—she Waved Dismissively At Gregory—"is An Infant.

He Blinked A Few Times, Each Motion So Slow That He Was Never Quite Sure If He’d Get His Eyes Open Again. He Wasn’t Wearing A Shirt. Funny How He Was Only Just Realizing It. Funnier Still That He Couldn’t Seem To Summon Any Concern For Her Maidenly Sensibilities. She Might Be Blushing. He Couldn’t Tell. It Was Too Dark To See. But It Didn’t Matter. This Was Honoria. She Was A Good Egg. A Sensible Egg. She Wouldn’t Be Scarred Forever By The Sight Of His Chest.

Nonetheless, I Can't Help But Be Flattered That You Noticed The Latest Addition To My Collection," He Said. She Rolled Her Eyes. "because Personal Injuries Are Such A Dignified Thing To Collect." "are All Governesses So Sarcastic?

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She Smelled Like England, Of Soft Rain And Sun-kissed Meadows. And She Felt Like The Best Kind Of Heaven. He Wanted To Wrap Himself Around, Bury Himself Within Her, And Stay There For All Of His Days. He Hadn’t Had A Drop To Drink In Three Years, But He Was Intoxicated Now, Bubbling With A Lightness He’d Never Thought To Feel Again.

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There Were Only So Many Ways A Man‟s Heart Could Break, And He Had A Feeling His Couldn‟t Survive Another Puncture.

A Man’s Got To Keep Up Appearances. I’ll Be Universally Detested If Everyone Realizes How Perfect You Are.

I Didn't Think I Should Die But I Did Not Know How I Would Live.

It Was The One Dream He'd Never Permitted Himself To Consider.

Why Don’t You Purchase An Italian Dictionary? I Will Assume The Expense.” “i Have One,” She Said, “but I Don’t Think It’s Very Good. Half The Words Are Missing.” “half?” “well, Some,” She Amended. “but Truly, That’s Not The Problem.” He Blinked, Waiting For Her To Continue. She Did. Of Course. “i Don’t Think Italian Is The Author’s Native Tongue,” She Said. “the Author Of The Dictionary?” He Queried. “yes. It’s Not Terribly Idiomatic.

You’re Going To Be My Grandmother.” “you Silly Child. In My Heart, I’ve Been Your Grandmother For Years. I’ve Just Been Waiting For You To Make It Official.

His Brows Rose. “and How Is It That You Have Come To Be Such An Expert On Scrapes And Bruises?” “i’m A Governess,” She Said. Because Really, That Ought To Be Explanation Enough.

Let Me Drive," She Said, Reaching For The Reins. He Turned To Her In Disbelief. "this Is A Phaeton, Not A Single-horse Wagon." Sophie Fought The Urge To Throttle Him. His Nose Was Running, His Eyes Were Red, He Couldn't Stop Coughing, And Still He Found The Energy To Act Like An Arrogant Peacock. "i Assure You," She Said Slowly, "that I Know How To Drive A Team Of Horses.

Society Is Capricious And Rewards The Bad As Often As The Good. But It Never Rewards The Quiet.

It Was Juvenile, He Knew, This Need To Assign Blame, But Everyone Had A Right To Childish Emotions From Time To Time, Didn't They?

He Was A Puzzle. And Hyacinth Hated Puzzles. Well, No, In Truth She Loved Them. Provided, Of Course, That She Solved Them.

To Say That Men Can Be Bullheaded Would Be Insulting To The Bull.

It Wasn‟t Even Desire. It Was Far More Than That. It Was Love. Love. With A Capital L And Swirly Script And Hearts And Flowers And Whatever Else The Angels— And Yes, All Those Annoying Little Cupids—wished To Use For Embellishment.

Children,” Lady Bridgerton Said With A Sigh As She Retook Her Seat. “i Am Never Quite Certain If I’m Glad I Had Them.

You Are Not Going To Waltz In Here And Distract Me With A Clever Phrase And A Beguiling Smile." "you Think My Smile Is Beguiling?

Blake Took A Small Roll From The Tray On The Table, Then Put It Back In Favor Of A Larger One. And Maybe A Little Butter. It Certainly Couldn't Hurt. And Jam...no, He Drew The Line At Jam. She Was A Spy, After All.

He Would Not Give Her Up,he Could Not.for The First Time In His Life He'd Found Someone Who Filled All The Empty Spaces In His Heart

Raw Toast," Lucas Said Grimly, Shaking His Head. "it Goes Against The Very Nature Of Man.

Caroline Stamped Her Foot In Frustration, But When It Landed, It Landed On Something Considerably Less Flat Than The Floor. "owww!" He Yelled. Oh! His Foot!sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , She Mouthed.i Didn't Mean It. "if You Think I Can Understand That," He Growled, "you're Crazier Than I'd Originally Thought.

In Every Life There Is A Turning Point. A Moment So Tremendous, So Sharp And Clear That One Feels As If One's Been Hit In The Chest, All The Breath Knocked Out, And One Knows, Absolutely Knows Without The Merest Hint Of A Shadow Of A Doubt That One's Life Will Never Be The Same.

It Was Funny, He Reflected Later, How One’s Life Could Alter In An Instant, How One Minute Everything Could Be A Certain Way, And The Next It’s Simply ... Not

No Words For The Passion. No Words For The Need.no Words For The Sheer Epiphany Of The Moment.and So, On An Otherwise Unremarkable Friday Afternoon, In The Heart Of Mayfair, In A Quiet Drawing Room On Mount Street, Colin Bridgerton Kissed Penelope Featherington.and It Was Glorious.

A Man With Charm Is An Entertaining Thing, And A Man With Looks Is, Ofcourse, A Sight To Behold, But A Man With Honor - Ah, He Is The One, Dear Reader, To Which Young Ladies Should Flock.

I Knew Nothing But Love And Devotion When I Was Growing Up. Trust Me, It Makes Everything Easier.

He Loved Her. He Wanted Her. He Needed Her. And He Needed Her Now.

You Have A Mother?" He Quirked A Brow. "did You Think Mine Was Some Sort Of Divine Birth? My Father Was A Remarkable Man, But Even He Was Not That Talented.

Daphne," He Said With Controlled Gentleness, "what Is Wrong?" She Sat Down Opposite Him And Placed A Hand On His Cheek. "i'm So Insensitive," She Whispered. "i Should Have Known. I Should Never Have Said Anything." "should Have Known What?" He Ground Out. Her Hand Fell Away. "that You Can't—that You Couldn't—" "can't What?" She Looked Down At Her Lap, Where Her Hands Were Attempting To Wring Each Other To Shreds. "please Don't Make Me Say It," She Said. 'this," Simon Muttered, "has Got To Be Why Men Avoid Marriage.

Colin Decided Then And There That The Female Mind Was A Strange And Incomprehensible Organ - One Which No Man Should Even Attempt To Understand. There Wasn't A Woman Alive Who Could Go From Point A To B Without Stopping At C, D, X, And 12 Along The Way.

But When Anthony Kissed Her, She Felt As If She Were Losing Her Mind. And When He Kissed Her Twice, She Wasn't Even Sure If She Wanted It Back!

You're In A Rather Odd Mood Today." I'm Soaking Wet, Eloise." No Need To Snap At Me About It, I Didn't Force You To Walk Across Town In The Rain." It Wasn't Raining When I Left,". There Was Something About A Sibling That Brought Out The Eight-year-old In A Body. I'm Sure The Sky Was Gray," Clearly, She Had A Bit Of The Eight-year-old In Her As Well.

He Ought To Buy Her A New Dress. She Would Never Accept It, Of Course, But Maybe If Her Current Garments Were Accidentally Burned... ...but How Could He Manage To Burn Her Dress? She'd Have To Not Be Wearing It, And That Posed A Certain Challenge In And Of Itself.

Oh, Very Well, Do You Want To Know Why I Really Think You Should Keep A Journal?" She Nodded. "because Someday You're Going To Grow Into Yourself, And You Will Be As Beautiful As You Already Are Smart.

Did You Know I Dream About Your Hair? I Use To Say It Was The Color Of The Sun At Sunset, But I'm Wrong. It's Brighter Than The Sun, Just As You Are.

I Have Thoroughly Compromised Your Niece," Alex Declared. "will You Plase Insist That She Marry Me?" Caroline Didn't Bat An Eyelash. "this", She Announced, "is Most Peculiar.

"are You All Right?” He Asked Olivia. His Heart Was Still Racing With Terror That She’d Been Hurt. “i Heard A Woman Scream.” “ah, That Would Have Been Me,” Sebastian Said. Harry Looked Down On His Cousin, Face Frozen In Disbelief. “you Made That Noise?” “it Hurt,” Sebastian Bit Off. Harry Fought Not To Laugh. “you Scream Like A Leettle Girl."

Mother,” Hyacinth Said With A Great Show Of Solicitude, “you Know I Love You Dearly—” “why Is It,” Violet Pondered, “that I Have Come To Expect Nothing Good When I Hear A Sentence Beginning In That Manner?

It Was One Of Those Things That Had To Be Experienced To Be Understood

Michael Nodded Tersely, Eyeing A Table Across The Room. It Was Empty. So Empty. So Joyfully, Blessedly Empty. He Could Picture Himself A Very Happy Man At That Table. "not Feeling Very Conversational This Evening, Are We?" Colin Asked, Breaking Into His (admittedly Tame) Fantasies.

There Was A Certain History To This. While Heavily Pregnant With Amelia, She Had Asked Him If She Was Radiant Or If She Just Looked Like A Waddling Duck. He Told Her She’d Looked Like A Radiant Duck. This Had Not Been The Correct Answer.

There Was A Huge Difference Between Dislike And Disregard.

There,” She Said Triumphantly. “like That.” He Began To Wonder If They Were Speaking The Same Language. “like What?” “that! What You Just Said.” He Crossed His Arms. It Seemed The Only Acceptable Reply. If She Couldn’t Speak In Complete Sentences, He Saw No Reason Why He Had To Speak At All.

Don’t Look So Upset,” Hyacinth Said, Once It Was Just The Two Of Them Again. “you’re Quite A Catch.” He Looked At Her Assessingly. “is One Meant To Say Such Things Quite So Directly?” She Shrugged. “not To Men One Is Trying To Impress.” “touché, Miss Bridgerton.” She Sighed Happily. “my Three Favorite Words.” Of That, He Had No Doubt.

I Had To Do Something," She Said. "i Couldn't Just Sit And Wait For Life To Happen To Me Any Longer.

Did You Know I Have Always Suspected That Men Were Idiots," Daphne Ground Out, "but I Was Never Positive Until Today.

I Love You With Everything I Am, Everything I've Been, And Everything I Hope To Be. I Love You With My Past, And I Love You For My Future. I Love You For The Children We'll Have And For The Years We'll Have Together. I Love You For Every One Of My Smiles And Even More, For Every One Of Your Smiles.

Men. The Day They Learned To Admit To A Mistake Was The Day They Became Women.

There Were A Lot Of Things In Life To Be Afraid Of, But Strangeness Ought Not Be Among Them.

You Should Be Thankful That Dark Colors Suit You. Not Everyone Wears Black Well." "why, Lady Olivia, Is That A Compliment?" "not So Much As A Compliment To You As An Insult To Everyone Else," She Assured Him. "thanks Heaven For That. I Don't Think I Would Know How To Conduct Myself In A World In Which You Offered Compliments.

He Shook His Head In Wonder. "you Are Magnificent." "i Keep Telling Everyone That," She Said With A Nonchalant Shrug, "but You Seem To Be The Only One To Believe Me.

Gareth Turned To Gregory. “your Sister Will Be Safe With Me,” He Said. “i Give You My Vow.” “oh, I Have No Worries On That Score,” Gregory Said With A Bland Smile. “the Real Question Is—will You Be Safe With Her?” It Was A Good Thing, Gareth Later Reflected, That Hyacinth Had Already Quit The Room To Fetch Her Coat And Her Maid. She Probably Would Have Killed Her Brother On The Spot.

Daniel Immediately Knelt At Her Side, Pulling Her Close. “it’s All Right,” He Murmured. “everything Is Going To Be All Right.” Anne Shook Her Head. “no, It’s Not.” She Looked Up, Her Eyes Shining With Love. “it’s Going To Be So Much Better.

I Am Asking You To Marry Me Because I Love You,” He Said, “because I Cannot Imagine Living My Life Without You. I Want To See Your Face In The Morning, And Then At Night, And A Hundred Times In Between. I Want To Grow Old With You, I Want To Laugh With You, And I Want To Sigh To My Friends About How Managing You Are, All The While Secretly Knowing I Am The Luckiest Man In Town.” “what?” She Demanded. He Shrugged. “a Man’s Got To Keep Up Appearances. I’ll Be Universally Detested If Everyone Realizes How Perfect You Are.

Turner Let His Face Fell Into His Hands. "i'm Never Going To Touch Her Again", He Moaned. "he's Never Going To Touch Me Again!" They Heard Miranda Roar."well,it Doesn't Look Like You'll Have Much Argument From Your Wife On That Point", Olivia Chirped.

The Unexpected Moment [is] Always Sweeter.

Unexpected Moments

It Has Oft Been Said That Physicians Make The Worst Patients, But It Is The Opinion Of This Author That Any Man Makes A Terrible Patient. One Might Say It Takes Patience To Be A Patient, And Heaven Knows, The Males Of Our Species Lack An Abundance Of Patience.

I Have To Tell You It Was The First Time Even After All These Years Of Expecting My Own Death That I Truly Knew What It Meant To Die Because With You Gone There Was Nothing Left For Me To Live For.

And Then, Well . . . He Might Have Slept For A Bit. He Rather Hoped He Was Sleeping, Because He Was Quite Certain He’d Seen A Six-foot Rabbit Hopping Through His Bedchamber, And If That Wasn’t A Dream, They Were All In Very Big Trouble. Although Really, It Wasn’t The Rabbit That Was So Dangerous As Much As The Giant Carrot He Was Swinging About Like A Mace. That Carrot Would Feed An Entire Village.

Happy Endings Are All I Can Do. I Wouldn't Know How To Write Anything Else.

Most Fiction Series Are Written So That The Reader Can Come In At Any Point And Not Feel Lost, But If You Can Start At The Beginning, Why Not?

Everyone Has Secrets. Especially Me.

Love Works In Mysterious Ways.

Mysterious Ways

But Looking Beautiful Isn't, I Think, As Important As Feeling Beautiful.

He Stepped Toward Her, And Her Heart Just Ached From It. His Face Was So Handsome, And So Dear, And So Perfectly Wonderfully Familiar. She Knew The Slope Of His Cheeks, And The Exact Shade Of His Eys, Brownish Near The Iris, Melting Into Green At The Edge. And His Mouth-she Knew That Mouth, The Look Of It, The Feel Of It. She Knew His Smile, And She Knew His Frown, And She Knew- She Knew Far To Much.

Love Was The Best Present Of All.

It Was A Damned Good Thing Men Couldn’t Have Children. Gregory Took No Shame In Admitting That The Human Race Would Have Died Out Generations Earlier.

I Won't Be Satisfied With Anything Less Than Everything.

Is There Anything Else I Can Do To See To Your Comfort, Miss Trent?" Perriwick Inquired. "she's Fine," Blake Growled. "clearly, She--" "perriwick, Isn't The West Wing On Fire?" Perriwick Blinked, Sniffed The Air, And Stared At His Employer In Dismay. "i Do Not Understand Sir.

Do I Look Like A Mess?” She Asked. He Nodded. “but You’re My Mess,” He Whispered.

It's Only Through Sheer Force And Luck That She's Yet To Take Over The World.

This Is Why I Didn't Get Married Last Year," She Said To Him. "i Wouldn't Be Here To Nurse You." She Thought About That For A Moment. "of Course, One Could Make The Argument That You Wouldn't Be In This Situation If Not For Me. But We're Not Going To Dwell Upon That.

Men Are Sheep. Where One Goes, The Rest Will Soon Follow. -lady Whistledown

Interesting, He Later Reflected, Was Perhaps Not The Correct Word.by The Time He And Henry Arrived Back At The House For Their Midday Meal-a Scrumptious Bowl Of Hot, Sticky Porridge-he Had Mucked Out The Stable Stalls, Milked A Cow, Been Pecked By Three Separate Hens, Weeded A Vegetable Garden, And Fallen Into A Trough.

And If That Weren't Bad Enough, The Next Sound He Heard Was A Loud Click. The Damned Woman Had Locked Him Out. She'd Taken All The Food And Locked Him Out. "you'll Pay For This!" He Yelled At The Door. "do Be Quiet," Came The Muffled Reply. "i'm Eating.

There Were Rules Among Friends, Commandments, Really, And The Most Important One Was Thou Shalt Not Lust After Thy Friend's Sister.

Anthony Sneezed And Pushed Them Aside. "mother, I Am Trying To Have A Conversation With The Duke." Violet Looked At Simon. "do You Want To Have This Conversation With My Son?" "not Particularly." "fine, Then. Anthony, Be Quiet.

In His Heart, She’d Been Smiling For Him. But Now She Was Smiling At Colin Bridgerton, He Of The Famous Charm And Sparkling Green Eyes.

No. Haven’t You Been Listening?” Marcus Would Always Remember That Moment. It Was To Be The First Time He Would Ever Be Faced With That Most Vexing Of Female Quirks: The Question That Had Nothing But Wrong Answers.

And What Renders Him So Unmarriageable?” Eloise Asked. Francesca Leveled A Serious Stare At Her Older Sister. Eloise Was Mad If She Thought She Should Set Her Cap For Michael. “well?” Eloise Prodded. “he Could Never Remain Faithful To One Woman,” Fran-cesca Said, “and I Doubt You‟d Be Willing To Put Up With Infidelities.” “no,” Eloise Murmured, “not Unless He‟d Be Willing To Put Up With Severe Bodily Injury.

A Duel, A Duel, A Duel. Is There Anything More Exciting, More Romantic ... Or More Utterly Moronic?

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