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I Knew That I Shouldn’t Have, But I Did It All The Same; And There You Have My Epitaph, Or One Of Them, Because My Grave Is Going To Require A Monument Inscribed On All Four Sides With Rueful Mottoes, In Small Characters, Set Close Together.

-Michael Chabon

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I Knew That I

Michael Chabon

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I Knew That I Shouldn’t Have, But I Did It All The Same; And There You Have My Epitaph, Or One Of Them, Because My Grave Is Going To Require A Monument Inscribed On All Four Sides With Rueful Mottoes, In Small Characters, Set Close Together.

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I Suppose There Is Something Appealing About A Word That Everyone Uses With Absolute Confidence But On Whose Exact Meaning No Two People Can Agree. The Word That I'm Thinking Of Right Now Is Genre, One Of Those French Words, Like Crêpe, That No One Can Pronounce Both Correctly And Without Sounding Pretentious.

[while Writing], I'll Go Anywhere I Find That Is Quiet, Has No Internet. I Have A Big Internet Problem.

. . .i Really Ought To Have Recognized It For What It Was And, Perhaps, To Have Stopped Right There - For It Was Nostalgia, And What Inspires Nostalgia Has Been Dead A Long Time

Every Golden Age Is As Much A Matter Of Disregard As Of Felicity.

A Delicate, Inexorable Lattice Of Inferences Began To Assemble Themselves, Like A Crystal, In The Old Man's Mind, Shivering, Catching The Light In Glints And Surmises.

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Nothing That Had Ever Happened To Him, Not The Shooting Of Oyster, Or The Piteous Muttering Expiration Of John Wesley Shannenhouse, Or The Death Of His Father, Or Internment Of His Mother And Grandfather, Not Even The Drowning Of His Beloved Brother, Had Ever Broken His Heart Quite As Terribly As The Realization, When He Was Halfway To The Rimed Zinc Hatch Of The German Station, That He Was Hauling A Corpse Behind Him

I'm Never Going To Be A Tom Clancy. And I Wouldn't Really Want To Be - Not That I Have Anything Against Him, And I Wish Him Continued Success - Because That's Not Why I'm Writing Novels. I'm Doing It Because I Have To. I Feel Like I Have To, Anyway.

Dr. Roboy, In Litvak's Measured View, Had A Vice Common To Believers: He Was All Strategy And No Tactics. He Was Prone To Move For The Sake Of Moving, Too Focused On The Goal To Bother With The Intervening Sequence.

The Truth Of Some Promises Is Not As Important As Whether Or Not You Can Believe In Them, With All Your Heart.

I Smoked And Looked Down At The Bottom Of Pittsburgh For A Little While, Watching The Kids Playing Tiny Baseball, The Distant Figures Of Dogs Snatching At A Little Passing Car, A Miniature Housewife On Her Back Porch Shaking Out A Snippet Of Red Rug, And I Made A Sudden, Frightened Vow Never To Become That Small, And To Devote Myself To Getting Bigger And Bigger And Bigger.

What's Going To Be Hard For Me Is To Try To Divorce Myself As Much As Possible From What I Wrote. I'll Have To Approach It Simply As Raw Material And Try To Craft A Film Script Out Of It.

Anything Good That I Have Written Has, At Some Point During Its Composition, Left Me Feeling Uneasy And Afraid. It Has Seemed, For A Moment At Least, To Put Me At Risk.

There Are No Moments More Painful For A Parent Than Those In Which You Contemplate Your Child's Perfect Innocence Of Some Imminent Pain, Misfortune, Or Sorrow. That Innocence (like Every Kind Of Innocence Children Have) Is Rooted In Their Trust Of You, One That You Will Shortly Be Obliged To Betray; Whether It Is Fair Or Not, Whether You Can Help It Or Not, You Are Always The Ultimate Guarantor Or Destroyer Of That Innocence.

I Don't Think You Could Teach Someone To Be A Genius, But You Can Certainly Teach Them To Not Make Rookie Mistakes And To Look At Writing The Way A Writer Looks At Writing, And Not Just The Way A Reader Looks At Writing. There Are A Lot Of Techniques And Skills That Can Be Taught That Will Be Helpful To Anybody, No Matter How Gifted They Are, And I Think Writing Programs Can Be Very Good For People.

Poor Little Librarians Of The World, Those Girls, Secretly Lovely, Their Looks Marred Forever By The Cruelty Of A Pair Of Big Dark Eyeglasses!

...landsman Doesn't Buy That. Bina Never Stopped Wanting To Redeem The World. She Just Let The World She Was Trying To Redeem Get Smaller And Smaller Until At One Point, It Could Be Bounded In The Hat Of A Hopeless Policeman.

Love Is Like Falconry," He Said. "don't You Think That's True, Cleveland?" "never Say Love Is Like Anything." Said Cleveland. "it Isn't.

Every Universe, Our Own Included, Begins In Conversation. Every Golem In The History Of The World, From Rabbi Hanina's Delectable Goat To The River-clay Frankenstein Of Rabbi Judah Loew Ben Bezalel, Was Summoned Into Existence Through Language, Through Murmuring, Recital, And Kabbalistic Chitchat -- Was, Literally, Talked Into Life.

Misogyny Comes Naturally To A Young Man In His Late Teens; It Is A Function Of The Powerful Homosocial Impulses That Flower Along Fraternity Row, That Drove The Mod Movements Of The Middle Sixties And Late Seventies, That Lie At The Heart Of Every Rock Band Formed By Men Of That Age.

And Then The Man Reminded Max, With A Serious But Suave And Practiced Air, That Freedom Was A Debt That Could Be Repaid Only By Purchasing The Freedom Of Others.

Nothing Is Boring Exept To People Who Aren't Really Paying Attention.

The Midnight Disease Is A Kind Of Emotional Insomnia; At Ever Conscious Moment Its Victim—even If He Or She Writes At Dawn, Or In The Middle Of The Afternoon—feels Like A Person Lying In A Sweltering Bedroom, With The Window Thrown Open, Looking Up At A Sky Filled With Stars And Airplanes, Listening To The Narrative Of A Rattling Blind, An Ambulance, A Fly Trapped In A Coke Bottle, While All Around Him The Neighbours Soundly Sleep.

If Children Are Not Permitted-not Taught-to Be Adventurers And Explorers As Children, What Will Become Of The World...?

It Is Always So Simple, And So Complicating, To Accept An Apology.

Childhood Is A Branch Of Cartography.

Every Generation Loses The Messiah It Has Failed To Deserve.

Undressing Her Was An Act Of Recklessness, A Kind Of Vandalism, Like Releasing A Zoo Full Of Animals, Or Blowing Up A Dam.

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Man Makes Plans . . . And God Laughs.

When I'm Writing Solitude Feels Very Good. But When I'm Not Writing It Feels Lonely... Having A Big Family Solves That Problem.

Entertainment Is A Sacred Pursuit When Done Well. When Done Well, It Raises The Quality Of Human Life.

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Forget About What You Are Escaping From. Reserve Your Anxiety For What You Are Escaping To.

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But The First Lie In The Series Is The One You Make With The Greatest Trepidation And The Heaviest Heart.

He Took A Step Toward Her, Than Another, Tentatively, Gathering All His Strength, As Though About To Throw A Heavy Switch That Would, If His Calculations Were Correct, Bring Light To A Hundred Cities And Ten Thousand Darkened Rooms. He Was Going To Ask Her To Dance - That Was All.

I Wanted To Give Readers The Feeling Of Knowing The Characters, A Mental Image.

[i]n 1938, Superman Appeared. He Had Been Mailed To The Offices Of National Periodical Publications From Cleveland, By A Couple Of Jewish Boys Who Had Imbued Him With The Powers Of A Hundred Men, Of A Distant World, And Of The Full Measure Of Their Bespectacled Adolescent Hopefulness And Desperation.

I Have A Deadline. I'm Glad. I Think That Will Help Me Get It Done.

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A Story Begins With This Nebulous Feeling That’s Hard To Get A Hold Of And You’re Testing Your Feelings And Assumptions, Testing What You Believe. They End Up Turning Into Keepsakes And Mementos –like Amber In Which A Memory Gets Trapped.

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I Knew That I Shouldn’t Have, But I Did It All The Same; And There You Have My Epitaph, Or One Of Them, Because My Grave Is Going To Require A Monument Inscribed On All Four Sides With Rueful Mottoes, In Small Characters, Set Close Together.

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To Me, Clark Kent In A Phone Booth And Houdini In A Packing Crate, They Were One And The Same Thing," He Would Learnedly Expound At Wondercon Or Angoulême Or To The Editor Of The Comics Journal . "you Weren't The Same Person When You Came Out As When You Went In.

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The Little Boy Had Wandered Away From His Mother, Tacking Across The Grass Toward The Play Structure. His Mother Watched Him Go, Proud, Tickled, Unaware That Every Time They Toddled Away From You, They Came Back A Little Different, Ten Seconds Older And Nearer To The Day When They Left You For Good. Pearl Divers In Training, Staying Under A Few Seconds Longer Every Time.

The World Like Our Heads Was Meant To Be Escaped From, They Are Prisons World And Head Alike.

Were Meant To Be

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Every Messiah Fails, The Moment He Tries To Redeem Himself.

When I Finish A First Draft, It's Always Just As Much Of A Mess As It's Always Been. I Still Make The Same Mistakes Every Time.

His Dreams Had Always Been Houdiniesque: They Were The Dreams Of A Pupa Struggling In Its Blind Cocoon, Mad For A Taste Of Light And Air.

For Me, Nostalgia Is An Involuntary Emotion. ... I Think It's Just A Natural Human Response To Loss.

All Literature, Highbrow Or Low, From The Aeneid Onward, Is Fan Fiction....through Parody And Pastiche, Allusion And Homage, Retelling And Reimagining The Stories That Were Told Before Us And That We Have Come Of Age Loving--amateurs--we Proceed, Seeking Out The Blank Places In The Map That Our Favorite Writers, In Their Greatness And Negligence, Have Left For Us, Hoping To Pass On To Our Own Readers--should We Be Lucky Enough To Find Any--some Of The Pleasure That We Ourselves Have Taken In The Stuff That We Love: To Get In On The Game. All Novels Are Sequels; Influence Is Bliss.

With Patience And Calm, Persistence And Stoicism, Good Handwriting And Careful Labeling, They Would Meet Persecution, Indignity, And Hardship Head-on.

Horror Grows Impatient, Rhetorically, With The Stoic Fatalism Of Ecclesiastes. That We Are All Going To Die, That Death Mocks And Cancels Every One Of Our Acts And Attainments And Every Moment Of Our Life Histories, This Knowledge Is To Storytelling What Rust Is To Oxidation; The Writer Of Horror Holds With Those Who Favor Fire. The Horror Writer Is Not Content To Report On Death As The Universal System Of Human Weather; He Or She Chases Tornadoes. Horror Is Stoicism With A Taste For Spectacle.

That's The Best Thing About Writing, When You're In That Zone, You're Porous, Ready To Absorb The Solution.

All Novels Are Sequels; Influence Is Bliss.

I Don't Do A Lot Of Foisting, Because When It Comes To Books I Don't Really Like To Be Foisted Upon.

I Said, “i Need To Hear Something That’s Going To Save My Life.” Re: Selecting Songs From A Jukebox.

I Have A Good Memory For Words, And When I Come Upon A Word I Don't Know, I Remember It, Or Try To - It's Almost Like A Tic.

We Have The Idea That Our Hearts, Once Broken, Scar Over With An Indestructible Tissue That Prevents Their Ever Breaking Again In Quite The Same Place.

He Had No Idea Of How Long His Life Would One Day Seem To Have Gone On; How Daily Present The Absence Of Love Would Come To Feel. “just Watch Me,” He Said.

There Was Something Unmistakably Exultant About The Mess That Rosa Had Made. Her Bedroom-studio Was At Once The Canvas, Journal, Museum, And Midden Of Her Life. She Did Not “decorate” It; She Infused It.

... But He Believed That Every Great Love Was In Some Measure A Terrible Mistake.

There's Nothing More Embarrassing Than To Have Earned The Disfavor Of A Perceptive Animal.

It Took Marvel Comics Years To Begin To Put Together Any Worthwhile Superheroines. The First Crop Was, To A Gal, Embarrassingly Disappointing. They Had All The Measly Powers That Fifties And Sixties Male Chauvinism Could Contrive To Bestow On A Superwoman.

I Do Have A Collection Of Mid-century, Small-press Science Fiction And Fantasy Hardcovers That Is My Most Focused And Dedicated Collection. Everything Else I Tend More To Acquire Or Amass Than Collect. I Have Vinyl Records I Listen To All The Time When I Work. But I Don’t Collect Records. I Just Buy Records Where The Price Seems Right And It’s Music I Actually Listen To.

I Love The Internet And It Has Been Incredibly Useful And I Have Made Discoveries That Have Been Immeasurably Crucial To My Work- Things I Don’t Know How I Ever Would Have Found Out Otherwise, That Are Perfect, Just What I Need For Whatever I’m Doing.

People Keep Saying, 'oh, You're Getting All These Great Reviews, That Must Make You Really Happy.' I Guess It Does, But Mostly It's Just A Relief.

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The Two Dozen Commonplace Childhood Photographs - Snowsuit, Pony, Tennis Racket, Looming Fender Of A Dodge - Were An Inexhaustible Source Of Wonder For Him, At Her Having Existed Before He Met Her, And Of Sadness For His Possessing Nothing Of The Ten Million Minutes Of That Black-and-white Scallop-edged Existence Save These Few Proofs.

Black And White

The Whole House Seemed To Exhale A Melancholy Breath Of Emptiness

The Thing That Strikes Me Now When I Think About The Wilderness Of Childhood Is The Incredible Degree Of Freedom My Parents Gave Me To Adventure There. A Very Grave, Very Significant Shift In Our Idea Of Childhood Has Occurred Since Then. The Wilderness Of Childhood Is Gone; The Days Of Adventure Are Past. The Land Ruled By Children, To Which A Kid Might Exile Himself For At Least Some Portion Of Every Day From The Neighboring Kingdom Of Adulthood, Has In Large Part Been Taken Over, Co-opted, Colonized, And Finally Absorbed By The Neighbors.

He Was A Fugitive, Lurking Soul, James Leer. He Didn't Belong Anywhere, But Things Went Much Better For Him In Places Where Nobody Belonged.

The Problems You Have As A Novelist Tend To Have To Do With Making A Living And Trying To Find Ways To Supplement The Income You Get From Writing Novels. For A Lot Of Writers, That Involves Teaching. In My Case, So Far, I've Been Able To Get By Working In Hollywood With This Tv Stuff I've Been Doing. And It's Very Important, Because My Wife Is A Writer, Too, And We Don't Have Health Insurance Through Any Employer.

That Evening I Rode Downtown On An Unaccountably Empty Bus, Sitting In The Last Row. At The Front I Saw A Thin Cloud Of Smoke Rising Around The Driver’s Head. ‘hey, Bus Driver,’ I Said. ‘can I Smoke?’ ‘may I,’ Said The Bus Driver. ‘i Love You,’ I Said.

When I Remember That Dizzy Summer, That Dull, Stupid, Lovely, Dire Summer, It Seems That In Those Days I Ate My Lunches, Smelled Another's Skin, Noticed A Shade Of Yellow, Even Simply Sat, With Greater Lust And Hopefulness - And That I Lusted With Greater Faith, Hoped With Greater Abandon. The People I Loved Were Celebrities, Surrounded By Rumor And Fanfare; The Places I Sat With Them, Movie Lots And Monuments. No Doubt All Of This Is Not True Remembrance But The Ruinous Work Of Nostalgia, Which Obliterates The Past, And No Doubt, As Usual, I Have Exaggerated Everything.

All Male Friendships Are Essentially Quixotic: They Last Only So Long As Each Man Is Willing To Polish The Shaving-bowl Helmet, Climb On His Donkey, And Ride Off After The Other In Pursuit Of Illusive Glory And Questionable Adventure.

He Comes To This Other World And He Has To Reinvent Himself. Again, It Felt Natural, Even Though I'd Been Working Really Hard Trying To Come Up With Something.

There Was A Sort Of Irony In The Fact That These [superhero] Characters - Many Of Whom In That Period, The Golden Age, Had Been Evolved To Fight The Nazis - Were Themselves Very Much In The Nazi Ideal. The Idea That You Can Solve Problems Through Physical Strength, By Being Stronger And More Dominant And More Powerful - That Is Fascism. I Mean, That's It, That's The Essence Of Fascism. I Don't Think The Creators Of The Superheroes Or The Kids Who Were Reading Them At The Time Were The Slightest Bit Aware Of It.

Every Day Is Like A Kid's Drawing, Offered To You With A Strange Mix Of Ceremoniousness And Offhand Disregard, Yours For The Keeping. Some Of The Days Are Rich And Complicated, Others Inscrutable, Others Little More Than A Stray Gray Mark On A Ragged Page. Some You Manage To Hang On To, Though Your Reasons For Doing So Are Often Hard To Fathom. But Most Of Them You Just Ball Up And Throw Away.

Bina, Thank You. Bina, Listen, This Guy. His Name Wasn't Lasker. This Guy-' She Puts A Hand To His Mouth. She Has Not Touched Him In Three Years. It Probably Would Be Too Much To Say That He Feels The Darkness Lift At The Touch Of Her Fingertips Against His Lips. But It Shivers, And Light Bleeds In Among The Cracks.

Literature, Like Magic, Has Always Been About The Handling Of Secrets, About The Pain, The Destruction, And The Marvelous Liberation That Can Result When They Are Revealed. If A Writer Doesn't Give Away Secrets, His Own Or Those Of The People He Loves, If He Doesn't Court Disapproval, Reproach And General Wrath, Whether Of Friends, Family Or Party Apparatchiks... The Result Is Pallid, Inanimate, A Lump Of Earth.

See You In The Funny Papers," He Said. Jaunty, He Reminded Himself; Always Jaunty. In My Panache Is Their Hope For Salvation.

When I First Decided I Wanted To Be A Writer, When I Was 10, 11 Years Old, The Books That I Loved Obviously And Openly Fit That Description: They Came With Maps And Glossaries And Timelines - Books Like Lord Of The Rings, Dune, The Chronicles Of Narnia. I Imagined That's What Being A Writer Was: You Invented A World, And You Did It In A Very Detailed Way, And You Told Stories That Were Set In That World.

I Can Imagine Anything Except Having No Imagination.

Take Care-there Is No Force More Powerful Than That Of An Unbridled Imagination.

Maybe All Wondrous Books Appear In Our Lives The Way Milo’s Tollbooth Appears, An Inexplicable Gift, Cast Up By Some Curious Chance That Comes To Feel, After We Have Finished And Fallen In Love With The Book, Like The Workings Of A Secret Purpose. Of All The Enchantments Of Beloved Books The Most Mysterious-the Most Phantasmal-is The Way They Always Seem To Come Our Way Precisely When We Need Them.

One Knew, Of Course, That It Was Not The Red Cape Any More Than It Was The Boots, The Tights, The Trunks, Or The Trademark "s" That Gave Superman The Ability To Fly. That Ability Derived From The Effects Of The Rays Of Our Yellow Sun On Superman's Alien Anatomy, Which Had Evolved Under The Red Sun Of Krypton. And Yet You Had Only To Tie A Towel Around Your Shoulders To Feel The Strange Vibratory Pulse Of Flight Stirring In The Red Sun Of Your Heart.

The First Amendment Has The Same Role In My Life As A Citizen And A Writer As The Sun Has In Our Ecosystem.

Not Only Would I Never Want To Belong To Any Club That Would Have Me For A Member--if Elected I Would Wear Street Shoes Onto The Squash Court And Set Fire To The Ballroom Curtains.

It's Always Been Hard For Me To Tell The Difference Between Denial And What Used To Be Known As Hope.

I Took Comfort, As A Kid, In Knowing That Things Had Always Been As Awful And As Wonderful As They Were Now, That The World Was Always On The Edge Of Total Destruction.

It Was Nice Standing Out In The Darkness, In The Damp Grass, With Spring Coming On And A Feeling In My Heart Of Imminent Disaster.

I Don’t Mean To Make A Big Deal Out Of Sobriety, By The Way. Of All The Modes Of Human Consciousness Available To The Modern Consumer I Consider It To Be The Most Overrated.

So It Was Scary, But That's How It Goes. To My Great Delight, I Discovered That It Did All Belong.

I Thought, I Fanced, That In A Moment, I Would Be Standing On Nothing At All, And For The First Time In My Life, I Needed The Wings None Of Us Has.

You Need Three Things To Become A Successful Novelist: Talent, Luck And Discipline. Discipline Is The One Element Of Those Three Things That You Can Control, And So That Is The One That You Have To Focus On Controlling, And You Just Have To Hope And Trust In The Other Two.

We Are Accustomed To Repeating The Cliché, And To Believing, That 'our Most Precious Resource Is Our Children.' But We Have Plenty Of Children To Go Around, God Knows, And As With Doritos, We Can Always Make More. The True Scarcity We Face Is Practicing Adults, Of People Who Know How Marginal, How Fragile, How Finite Their Lives And Their Stories And Their Ambitions Really Are But Who Find Value In This Knowledge, Even A Sense Of Strange Comfort, Because They Know Their Condition Is Universal, Is Shared.

Art Is A Form Of Exploration, Of Sailing Off Into The Unknown Alone, Heading For Those Unmarked Places On The Map. If Children Are Not Permitted-not Taught-to Be Adventurers And Explorers As Children, What Will Become Of The World Of Adventure, Of Stories, Of Literature Itself?

It Struck Me That The Chief Obstacle To Marital Contentment Was This Perpetual Gulf Between The Well-founded, Commendable Pessimism Of Women And The Sheer Dumb Animal Optimism Of Men, The Latter A Force More Than Any Other Responsible For The Lamentable State Of The World.

I Hate To See Great Works Of Literature Ghettoized, Whereas Others That Conform To The Rules, Conventions, And Procedures Of The Genre We Call Literary Fiction Get Accorded Greater Esteem And Privilege. I Also Have A Problem With How Books Are Marketed, With Certain Cover Designs And Typefaces. They're Often Stamped With An Identity That Has Nothing To Do With Their Effect On The Reader.

The Magician Seemed To Promise That Something Torn To Bits Might Be Mended Without A Seam, That What Had Vanished Might Reappear, That A Scattered Handful Of Doves Or Dust Might Be Reunited By A Word, That A Paper Rose Consumed By Fire Could Be Made To Bloom From A Pile Of Ash. But Everyone Knew That It Was Only An Illusion. The True Magic Of This Broken World Lay In The Ability Of Things It Contained To Vanish, To Become So Thoroughly Lost, That They Might Never Have Existed In The First Place.

My Heart Was Simultaneously Broken And Filled With Lust, I Was Exhausted, And I Loved Every Minute Of It. It Was Strange And Elating To Find Myself For Once The Weaker.

Bina Rolls Her Eyes, Hands On Her Hips, Glances At The Door. Then She Comes Over And Drops Her Bag And Plops Down Beside Him. How Many Times, He Wonders, Can She Have Enough Of Him, Already, And Still Have Not Quite Enough?

The Handy Thing About Being A Father Is That The Historic Standard Is So Pitifully Low.

... And Because It Was A Drunken Perception, It Was Perfect, Entire, And Lasted About Half A Second.

Never Say Love Is "like" Anything... It Isn't.

A Father Is A Man Who Fails Every Day.

In Later Years, Holding Forth To An Interviewer Or To An Audience Of Aging Fans At A Comic Book Convention, Sam Clay Liked To Declare, Apropos Of His And Joe Kavalier's Greatest Creation, That Back When He Was A Boy, Sealed And Hog-tied Inside The Airtight Vessel Known As Brooklyn, New York, He Had Been Haunted By Dreams Of Harry Houdini.

No; He Could Be Ruined Again And Again By Hope, But He Would Never Be Capable Of Belief.

Again And Again

Some Things That Are Invisible And Untouchable Can Nevertheless Be Seen And Felt.

Procrastination Is Something You Do Yourself. You Know: "i Gotta Sharpen These Pencils Before I Start. I Got 20 Pencils, They're Looking Kinda Dull." Well, The Pencils Aren't Calling You And Alluring You And Inviting You And Offering You Anything. They're Just Sitting There. You're The One Who's Procrastinating.

Procrastination

He Is By Nature A Vegetarian But Would Never Consider Giving Up Meat.

I Love Richard Yates, His Work, And The Novel, Revolutionary Road. It's A Devastating Novel.

Along The Way, He Or She Discovers That The World Has Been Broken For As Long As Anyone Can Remember. Everyone, Sooner Or Later, Gets A Thorough Schooling In Brokenness. The Question Becomes What To Do With The Pieces?

What Smells Strongly Of Crap To One Generation - Victorian Penny Dreadfuls, The Music Of The Archies, The Lone Ranger Radio Show, Blaxploitation Films Of The Seventies - So Often Becomes A Fruitful Source Of Inspiration, Veneration, And Study For Those To Come, While Certified Great And Worthy Art Molders And Fades On Its Storage Rack, Giving Off An Increasingly Powerful Whiff Of Naphthalene.

It Never Takes Longer Than A Few Minutes, When They Get Together, For Everyone To Revert To The State Of Nature, Like A Party Marooned By A Shipwreck. That's What A Family Is. Also The Storm At Sea, The Ship, And The Unknown Shore. And The Hats And The Whiskey Stills That You Make Out Of Bamboo And Coconuts. And The Fire That You Light To Keep Away The Beasts.

When Some Drunken Fool Asked If She Was A Lesbian, She Would Say, 'in Everything But Sexual Preference.

I Don't Care What Is Written," Meyer Landsman Says. "i Don't Care What Supposedly Got Promised To Some Sandal-wearing Idiot Whose Claim To Fame Is That He Was Ready To Cut His Own Son's Throat For The Sake Of A Hare-brained Idea. I Don't Care About Red Heifers And Patriarchs And Locusts. A Bunch Of Old Bones In The Sand. My Homeland Is In My Hat. It's In My Ex-wife's Tote Bag.

I Found One Remaining Box Of Comics Which I Had Saved. When I Opened It Up And That Smell Came Pouring Out, That Old Paper Smell, I Was Struck By A Rush Of Memories, A Sense Of My Childhood Self That Seemed To Be Contained In There.

The Instructor, Ms. Pease, Also Taught In The Church's Religious School, And She Had A Sunday School Manner At Once Saccharine And Condemnatory.

Fathering Imposed An Obligation That Was More Than Your Money, Your Body, Or Your Time, A Presence Neither Physical Nor Measurable By Clocks: Open-ended, Eternal, And Invisible, Like The Commitment Of Gravity To The Stars.

It Was The Kind Of Promise A Father Makes Easily And Sincerely, Knowing At The Same Time That It Will Be Impossible To Keep. The Truth Of Some Promises Is Not As Important As Whether Or Not You Can Believe In Them, With All Your Heart. A Game Of Baseball Can't Really Make A Summer Day Last Forever. A Home Run Can't Really Heal All The Broken Places In Our World, Or In A Single Human Heart. And There Was No Way That Mr. Feld Could Keep His Promise Never To Leave Ethan Again. All Parents Leave Their Children One Day.

He Looked So Profoundly Disappointed In Me That I Wondered For A Moment If He Was Someone I Knew.

Childhood, At Its Best, Is A Perpetual Adventure, In The Truest Sense Of That Overtaxed Word: A Setting Forth Into Trackless Lands That Might Have Come To Existence The Instant Before You First Laid Eyes On Them.

As Long As She Was Falling In Love With Me, I Might As Well Start Making Her Promises I Didn't Intend To Keep.

Falling In Love

I’d Spent My Whole Life Waiting To Awake On An Ordinary Morning In The Town That Was Destined To Be My Home, In The Arms Of The Woman I Was Destined To Love, Knowing The People And Doing The Work That Would Make Up The Changing But Essentially Invariable Landscape Of My Particular Destiny.

A Hope Fulfilled Is Already Half A Disappointment.

My Saturday Night. My Saturday Night Is Like A Microwave Burrito. Very Tough To Ruin Something That Starts Out So Bad To Begin With.

I Have Confused Ideas Of Deity, Heavily Influenced By Mind-altering Years Of Reading Science Fiction, That Do Not Often Trouble Me, But One Thing I Know For Certain, And Have Known Since The Age Of Five Or Six, Is That I Really Can't Stand The God Of Abraham. In Fact, I Consider Him To Constitute The Pattern To Which Every True Asshole I Have Ever Known In My Life Has Pretty Well Conformed.

Novelist Time Is Reptile Time; Novelists Tend To Be Ruminant And Brooding, Nursers Of Ancient Grievances, Second-guessers, Tuesday Afternoon Quarterbacks, Retrospectators, Endlessly, Like Slumping Hitters, Studying The Film Of Their Old Whiffs.

[my Dad] Didn't Do Much Apart From The Traditional Winning Of Bread. He Didn't Take Me To Get My Hair Cut Or My Teeth Cleaned; He Didn't Make The Appointments. He Didn't Shop For My Clothes. He Didn't Make My Breakfast, Lunch, Or Dinner. My Mom Did All Of Those Things, And Nobody Ever Told Her When She Did Them That It Made Her A Good Mother.

Do What You Gotta Do And Stay Fly

In The Immemorial Style Of Young Men Under Pressure, They Decided To Lie Down For A While And Waste Time.

I Was Thinking, Too, Of Superman And His Fortress Of Solitude.

They Lay There For A Few Seconds, In The Dark, In The Future, Listening To The Fabulous Clockwork Of Their Hearts And Lungs, And Loving Each Other

That's Why School Was Invented - To Give Your Parents Some Peace And Quiet During The Day.

Miracles Prove Nothing Except To Those Whose Faith Is Bought Very Cheap, Sir.

I Saw A Lot Of Lousy Movies And Watched A Ton Of Crappy Television And Read A Bunch Of Utterly Forgettable Books And Comics And Listened To Hours Of Junk Music As A Kid. And I'm Still Drawing Profitably In My Own Art On Some Of The Tawdry Treasure I Stored Up In Those Years.

I Was Surprised That My Wife Thought It Was A Good Idea, Then Again With My Agent, Another Woman, Then My Editor, Another Woman - In Spite Of The Fact That All Three Of Them Reacted Positively I Still Have This Fear.

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