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I Have Never, In All My Various Travels, Seen But Two Sorts Of People I Mean Men And Women, Who Always Have Been, And Ever Will Be, The Same. The Same Vices And The Same Follies Have Been The Fruit Of All Ages, Though Sometimes Under Different Names.

-Mary Wortley Montagu

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I Have Never, In

Mary Wortley Montagu

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I Have Never, In All My Various Travels, Seen But Two Sorts Of People I Mean Men And Women, Who Always Have Been, And Ever Will Be, The Same. The Same Vices And The Same Follies Have Been The Fruit Of All Ages, Though Sometimes Under Different Names.

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The Pious Farmer, Who Ne'er Misses Pray'rs, With Patience Suffers Unexpected Rain; He Blesses Heav'n For What Its Bounty Spares, And Sees, Resign'd, A Crop Of Blighted Grain. But, Spite Of Sermons, Farmers Would Blaspheme, If A Star Fell To Set Their Thatch On Flame.

As Marriage Produces Children, So Children Produce Care And Disputes; And Wrangling.

A Man That Is Ashamed Of Passions That Are Natural And Reasonable Is Generally Proud Of Those That Are Shameful And Silly.

We Travellers Are In Very Hard Circumstances. If We Say Nothing But What Has Been Said Before Us, We Are Dull And Have Observed Nothing. If We Tell Anything New, We Are Laughed At As Fabulous And Romantic.

The One Thing That Reconciles Me To The Fact Of Being A Woman Is The Reflection That It Delivers Me From The Necessity Of Being Married To One.

No Entertainment Is So Cheap As Reading, Nor Any Pleasure So Lasting. She Will Not Want New Fashions Nor Regret The Loss Of Expensive Diversions Or Variety Of Company If She Can Be Amused With An Author In Her Closet.

The Screech-owl, With Ill-boding Cry, Portends Strange Things, Old Women Say; Stops Every Fool That Passes By, And Frights The School-boy From His Play.

I Hate The Noise And Hurry Inseparable From Great Estates And Titles, And Look Upon Both As Blessings That Ought Only To Be Given To Fools, For 'tis Only To Them That They Are Blessings.

Time Has The Same Effect On The Mind As On The Face; The Predominant Passion And The Strongest Feature Become More Conspicuous From The Others Retiring.

A Woman, Till Five-and-thirty, Is Only Looked Upon As A Raw Girl, And Can Possibly Make No Noise In The World Till About Forty.

The Familiarities Of The Gaming-table Contribute Very Much To The Decay Of Politeness ... The Pouts And Quarrels That Naturally Arise From Disputes Must Put An End To All Complaisance, Or Even Good Will Towards One Another.

One Would Suffer A Great Deal To Be Happy.

But The Fruit That Can Fall Without Shaking Indeed Is Too Mellow For Me.

Only A Mother Knows A Mother's Fondness.

How Many Thousands ... Earnestly Seeking What They Do Not Want, While They Neglect The Real Blessings In Their Possession -- I Mean The Innocent Gratification Of Their Senses, Which Is All We Can Properly Call Our Own.

It Was Formerly A Terrifying View To Me That I Should One Day Be An Old Woman. I Now Find That Nature Has Provided Pleasures For Every State.

It's All Been Very Interesting.

I Have Never Had Any Great Esteem For The Generality Of The Fair Sex, And My Only Consolation For Being Of That Gender Has Been The Assurance It Gave Me Of Never Being Married To Any One Among Them.

Civility Costs Nothing, And Buys Everything.

Prudent People Are Very Happy; 'tis An Exceeding Fine Thing, That's Certain, But I Was Born Without It, And Shall Retain To My Day Of Death The Humour Of Saying What I Think.

Solitude Begets Whimsies.

Gardening Is Certainly The Next Amusement To Reading.

See How That Pair Of Billing Doves With Open Murmurs Own Their Loves And, Heedless Of Censorious Eyes, Pursue Their Unpolluted Joys: No Fears Of Future Want Molest The Downy Quiet Of Their Nest.

I Believe More Follies Are Committed Out Of Complaisance To The World, Than In Following Our Own Inclinations.

Whoever Will Cultivate Their Own Mind Will Find Full Employment. Every Virtue Does Not Only Require Great Care In The Planting, But As Much Daily Solicitude In Cherishing As Exotic Fruits And Flowers; The Vices And Passions (which I Am Afraid Are The Natural Product Of The Soil) Demand Perpetual Weeding. Add To This The Search After Knowledge. . . And The Longest Life Is Too Short.

A Face Is Too Slight A Foundation For Happiness.

I Prefer Liberty To Chains Of Diamonds.

There Is Nothing Can Pay One For That Invaluable Ignorance Which Is The Companion Of Youth, Those Sanguine Groundless Hopes, And That Lively Vanity Which Makes All The Happiness Of Life.

It's In No Way My Interest (according To The Common Acceptance Of That Word) To Convince The World Of Their Errors; That Is, I Shall Get Nothing From It But The Private Satisfaction Of Having Done Good To Mankind, And I Know Nobody That Reckons That Satisfaction Any Part Of Their Interest.

There Is No Remedy So Easy As Books, Which If They Do Not Give Cheerfulness, At Least Restore Quiet To The Most Troubled Mind.

The Use Of Knowledge In Our Sex (beside The Amusement Of Solitude) Is To Moderate The Passions And Learn To Be Contented With A Small Expense, Which Are The Certain Effects Of A Studious Life And, It May Be, Preferable Even To That Fame Which Men Have Engrossed To Themselves And Will Not Suffer Us To Share.

Tis The Established Custom [in Vienna] For Every Lady To Have Two Husbands, One That Bears The Name, And Another That Performs The Duties.

The Most Romantic Region Of Every Country Is That Where The Mountains Unite Themselves With The Plains Or Lowlands.

We Are Apt To Consider Shakespeare Only As A Poet; But He Was Certainly One Of The Greatest Moral Philosophers That Ever Lived.

Muse, Time Has Taught Me That All Metaphysical Systems, Even Historical Facts Given As Truths, Are Hardly That, So I Amuse Myself With More Agreeable Lies; I No Longer Read Anything But Novels.

There Can Be No Situation In Life In Which The Conversation Of My Dear Sister Will Not Administer Some Comfort To Me.

Situations In Life

I Have All My Life Been On My Guard Against The Information Conveyed By The Sense Of Hearing -- It Being One Of My Earliest Observations, The Universal Inclination Of Humankind Is To Be Led By The Ears, And I Am Sometimes Apt To Imagine That They Are Given To Men As They Are To Pitchers, Purposely That They May Be Carried About By Them.

... If It Were The Fashion To Go Naked, The Face Would Be Hardly Observed.

'tis A Sort Of Duty To Be Rich, That It May Be In One's Power To Do Good, Riches Being Another Word For Power.

No Entertainment Is So Cheap As Reading, Nor Any Pleasure So Lasting.

The Knowledge Of Numbers Is One Of The Chief Distinctions Between Us And The Brutes.

[on Her Political Writings:] It Is, I Confess, Very Possible That These My Labours May Only Be Destined To Line Trunks, Or Preserve Roast Meat From Too Fierce A Fire; Yet In That Shape I Shall Be Useful To My Country.

To Be Reasonable One Should Never Complain But When One Hopes Redress.

Nobody Should Trust Their Virtue With Necessity, The Force Of Which Is Never Known Till It Is Felt, And It Is Therefore One Of The First Duties To Avoid The Temptation Of It.

True Knowledge Consists In Knowing Things, Not Words.

Remember My Unalterable Maxim, "when We Love, We Always Have Something To Say.

People Never Write Calmly But When They Write Indifferently.

Lord Bacon Makes Beauty To Consist Of Grace And Motion.

Civility Cost Nothing.

The Ultimate End Of Your Education Was To Make You A Good Wife.

Philosophy Is The Toil Which Can Never Tire Persons Engaged In It. All Ways Are Strewn With Roses, And The Farther You Go, The More Enchanting Objects Appear Before You And Invite You On.

Take Back The Beauty And Wit You Bestow Upon Me; Leave Me My Own Mediocrity Of Agreeableness And Genius, But Leave Me Also My Sincerity, My Constancy, And My Plain Dealing; 'tis All I Have To Recommend Me To The Esteem Either Of Others Or Myself.

Nature Has Not Placed Us In An Inferior Rank To Men, No More Than The Females Of Other Animals, Where We See No Distinction Of Capacity, Though I Am Persuaded If There Was A Commonwealth Of Rational Horses... It Would Be An Established Maxim Amongst Them That A Mare Could Not Be Taught To Pace.

I Am Patriot Enough To Take Pains To Bring This Usefull Invention Into Fashion In England, And I Should Not Fail To Write To Some Of Our Doctors Very Particularly About It, If I Knew Anyone Of 'em That I Thought Had Virtue Enough To Destroy Such A Considerable Branch Of Revenue For The Good Of Mankind, But That Distemper Is Too Beneficial To Them Not To Expose To All Their Resentment The Hardy Wight That Should Undertake To Put An End To It.

Nobody Can Deny But Religion Is A Comfort To The Distressed, A Cordial To The Sick, And Sometimes A Restraint On The Wicked.

We Should Ask, Not Who Is The Most Learned, But Who Is The Best Learned.

Let This Great Maxim Be My Virtue's Guide,- In Part She Is To Blame That Has Been Tried: He Comes Too Near That Comes To Be Denied.

Miserable Is The Fate Of Writers: If They Are Agreeable, They Are Offensive; And If Dull, They Starve.

Men Are Vile Inconstant Toads.

I Despise The Pleasure Of Pleasing People That I Despise.

And We Meet, With Champagne And A Chicken, At Last.

We Are Educated In The Grossest Ignorance, And No Art Omitted To Stifle Our Natural Reason; If Some Few Get Above Their Nurses Instructions, Our Knowledge Must Rest Concealed And Be As Useless To The World As Gold In The Mine.

No Modest Man Ever Did Or Ever Will Make A Fortune.

It Goes Far Towards Reconciling Me To Being A Woman, When I Reflect That I Am Thus In No Danger Of Ever Marrying One.

Conscience Is Justice's Best Minister; It Threatens, Promises, Rewards, And Punishes And Keeps All Under Control; The Busy Must Attend To Its Remonstrances, The Most Powerful Submit To Its Reproof, And The Angry Endure Its Upbraidings. While Conscience Is Our Friend All Is Peace; But If Once Offended Farewell The Tranquil Mind.

Life Is Too Short For A Long Story

You Can Be Pleased With Nothing If You Are Not Pleased With Yourself.

I Don't Say 'tis Impossible For An Impudent Man Not To Rise In The World, But A Moderate Merit With A Large Share Of Impudence Is More Probable To Be Advanced Than The Greatest Qualifications Without It.

One Can Never Outlive One's Vanity.

To Always Be Loved One Must Ever Be Agreeable.

My Chief Study All My Life Has Been To Lighten Misfortunes And Multiply Pleasures, As Far As Human Nature Can.

People Wish Their Enemies Dead - But I Do Not; I Say Give Them The Gout, Give Them The Stone!

In Short I Will Part With Anything For You But You.

A Propos Of Distempers, I Am Going To Tell You A Thing That I Am Sure Will Make You Wish Your Selfe Here. The Small Pox So Fatal And So General Amongst Us Is Here Entirely Harmless By The Invention Of Engrafting (which Is The Term They Give It). There Is A Set Of Old Women Who Make It Their Business To Perform The Operation.

I Have Often Observ'd The Loudest Laughers To Be The Dullest Fellows In The Company.

People Are Never So Near Playing The Fool As When They Think Themselves Wise.

It Is 11 Years Since I Have Seen My Figure In A Glass [mirror]. The Last Reflection I Saw There Was So Disagreeable I Resolved To Spare Myself Such Mortification In The Future.

It Has All Been Most Interesting.

Most Interesting

Making Verses Is Almost As Common As Taking Snuff, And God Can Tell What Miserable Stuff People Carry About In Their Pockets, And Offer To All Their Acquaintances, And You Know One Cannot Refuse Reading And Taking A Pinch.

Whatever Is Clearly Expressed Is Well Wrote.

General Notions Are Generally Wrong.

I Know A Love May Be Revived Which Absence, Inconstancy, Or Even Infidelity Has Extinguished, But There Is No Returning From A Dtgovt Given By Satiety.

I Am Afraid We Are Little Better Than Straws Upon The Water; We May Flatter Ourselves That We Swim, When The Current Carries Us Along.

Writers Of Novels And Romance In General Bring A Double Loss To Their Readers; Robbing Them Of Their Time And Money; Representing Men, Manners, And Things, That Never Have Been, Or Are Likely To Be.

I Am In Perfect Health, And Hear It Said I Look Better Than Ever I Did In My Life, Which Is One Of Those Lies One Is Always Glad To Hear.

I Regard Almost All Quarrels Of Princes On The Same Footing, And I See Nothing That Marks Man's Unreason So Positively As War. Indeed, What Folly To Kill One Another For Interests Often Imaginary, And Always For The Pleasure Of Persons Who Do Not Think Themselves Even Obliged To Those Who Sacrifice Themselves For Them!

People Commonly Educate Their Children As They Build Their Houses, According To Some Plan They Think Beautiful, Without Considering Whether It Is Suited To The Purposes For Which They Are Designed.

Begin Nothing Without Considering What The End May Be.

My Health Is So Often Impaired That I Begin To Be As Weary Of It As Mending Old Lace; When It Is Patched In One Place, It Breaks Out In Another.

My Dear Smollett ... Disgraces His Talent By Writing Those Stupid Romances Called History.

Nature Is Seldom In The Wrong, Custom Always.

As I Approach A Second Childhood, I Endeavor To Enter Into The Pleasures Of It.

Nature Is Indeed A Specious Ward, Nay, There Is A Great Deal In It If It Is Properly Understood And Applied, But I Cannot Bear To Hear People Using It To Justify What Common Sense Must Disavow. Is Not Nature Modifed By Art In Many Things? Was It Not Designed To Be So? And Is It Not Happy For Human Society That It Is So? Would You Like To See Your Husband Let His Beard Grow, Until He Would Be Obliged To Put The End Of It In His Pocket, Because This Beard Is The Gift Of Nature?

Strictly Speaking, There Is But One Real Evil: I Mean Acute Pain. All Other Complaints Are So Considerably Diminished By Time That It Is Plain The Grief Is Owing To Our Passion, Since The Sensation Of It Vanishes When That Is Over.

Satire Should, Like A Polished Razor Keen, Wound With A Touch That's Scarcely Felt Or Seen.

Be Plain In Dress, And Sober In Your Diet; In Short, My Deary, Kiss Me, And Be Quiet.

Copiousness Of Words, However Ranged, Is Always False Eloquence, Though It Will Ever Impose On Some Sort Of Understandings.

We Have All Our Playthings. Happy Are They Who Are Contented With Those They Can Obtain; Those Hours Are Spent In The Wisest Manner That Can Easiest Shade The Ills Of Life, And Are The Least Productive Of Ill Consequences.

Forgive What You Can't Excuse.

I Wish You Would Moderate That Fondness You Have For Your Children. I Do Not Mean You Should Abate Any Part Of Your Care, Or Not Do Your Duty To Them In Its Utmost Extent, But I Would Have You Early Prepare Yourself For Disappointments, Which Are Heavy In Proportion To Their Being Surprising.

We Are No More Free Agents Than The Queen Of Clubs When She Victoriously Takes Prisoner The Knave Of Hearts.

The Pretty Fellows You Speak Of, I Own Entertain Me Sometimes, But Is It Impossible To Be Diverted With What One Despises? I Can Laugh At A Puppet Show, At The Same Time I Know There Is Nothing In It Worth My Attention Or Regard.

It Is The Common Error Of Builders And Parents To Follow Some Plan They Think Beautiful (and Perhaps Is So) Without Considering That Nothing Is Beautiful That Is Misplaced.

While Conscience Is Our Friend, All Is At Peace; However Once It Is Offended, Farewell To A Tranquil Mind.

I Have Never, In All My Various Travels, Seen But Two Sorts Of People I Mean Men And Women, Who Always Have Been, And Ever Will Be, The Same. The Same Vices And The Same Follies Have Been The Fruit Of All Ages, Though Sometimes Under Different Names.

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