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I Drank Lots Of Water And Orange Juice And Took A Multivitamin And Iron Supplement For Breakfast, Which Was My Regimen Since Bill Had Come Into My Life And Brought (along With Love, Adventure, And Excitement) The Constant Threat Of Anemia.

-Charlaine Harris

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I Drank Lots Of

Charlaine Harris

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I Drank Lots Of Water And Orange Juice And Took A Multivitamin And Iron Supplement For Breakfast, Which Was My Regimen Since Bill Had Come Into My Life And Brought (along With Love, Adventure, And Excitement) The Constant Threat Of Anemia.

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As I Climbed Up Into The High Old Bed, The Large Fly In My Personal Ointment Did The Same. Had I Actually Told Him He Could Get In Bed With Me? Well, I Decided, As I Wriggled Down Under The Soft Old Sheets And The Blanket And The Comforter, If Eric Had Designs On Me, I Was Just Too Tired To Care. "woman?" "hmmm?" "what's Your Name?" "sookie. Sookie Stackhouse." "thank You, Sookie." "welcome, Eric.

It's Probably A Bad Indicator Of Your Lifestyle When You Miss Your Ex-boyfriend Because He's Absolutely Lethal.

And By Golly, Love Sure Was A Battlefield. Benatar Was Right About That.

Sometimes You Just Have To Regret Things And Move On.

Fiction Just Makes It All More Interesting. Truth Is So Boring.

Pam Said, "sookie, I Brought You Something, Too. I Never Thought I'd Want To Spend Time With A Human, But You're More Tolerable Than Most.

No, I Like You Alive And Warm And Wiggling.

I Certainly Think We're Going To See More And More Graphic Novels And More Illustrated Novels.

I Have Lived One Step Away From Losing My Mind For Years. I Am Quick And Accurate In Spotting Unstable Streaks In Others.

I Often Cried When I Got Angry; I Hated That. Crying Just Made You Look Weak, No Matter What Triggered It.

Eric Followed Vlad Tepes’s Stubby Finger, Identifying Me As The Future Happy Meal. Then He Stared At Dracula, Looking Up From His Kneeling Position. I Couldn’t Read His Face At All, And I Felt A Stirring Of Fear. What Would Charlie Brown Have Done If The Great Pumpkin Wanted To Eat The Little Red-haired Girl?

What I Think I'll Do Is I'll Do My Best To Yank Debbie Out Of Me By The Roots. And Then I'll Turn Up On Your Doorstep, One Day When You Least Expect It, And I'll Hope By Then You Will Have Given Up On Your Vampire.

He Looked Like He'd Just Seen The Ghost Of You Better Shut Your Mouth.

People Are Really Interested In The Concept Of Eternal Youth In This Plastic-surgery Culture.

Of Course I Am Grateful, And I'm Sure You Are, As You Put It, A Special Vintage," Bill Said Politely, "but I Have My Own Wine Cellar.

I Don't Write The Kind Of 'happily Ever After' That Romance Readers Enjoy.

Though I Was Standing In Front Of A Mirror, I Wasn't Really Seeing My Reflection. I Was Seeing, Very Clearly, That—at The Moment—i Was All In The World That Eric Could Think Of As His Own. I Had Better Not Fail Him.

If It's Easy To Be Friendly She Will Be. If The Wind Blows The Other Way Her Friendship Will Be Gone. And I'm Thinking The Wind Is Blowing The Other Way. She Has Found Some Other Way To Be An Important Person In Her Own Right By Hating Others.

You Trust Me?" Eric Sounded Surprised. "yes." "that's . . . Crazy, Sookie.

Well, That's Certainly... Adequate," I Told Him, Burying My Face In His Chest. I Knew Immediately I'd Picked The Wrong Word. "adequate?" He Took My Hand, Placed It On The Part In Question. It Immediately Began To Stir. He Moved My Hand On It, And I Obligingly Circled It With My Fingers. "this Is Adequate?" "maybe I Should Have Said It's A Gracious Plenty?" "a Gracious Plenty. I Like That," He Said.

Then Was Ashamed Of Myself. I Should Be Happy For What I'd Been Given. I Hoped God Hadn't Noticed My Lapse In Appreciation.

The Average Woman Would Not Be Pondering How Fast Her Date Could Kill Her, But I’ll Never Be An Average Woman.

The World Seemed A Bad And Terrible Place, All Its Denizens Suspect, And I The Lamb Wandering Through The Valley Of Death With A Bell Around My Neck.

What Are You, Zen Master Fang?

Finally, I Drew In A Long Breath. It Was Noisy And Painful And Just Heaven.

I Dipped Into His Brain. He Wasn't Happy That I Wasn't Wearing A Bra, Because My Boobs Distracted Him. He Was Thinking I Was A Bit Too Curvy For His Taste. He Was Thinking He'd Better Not Think About Me That Way Anymore. He Was Missing His Wife.

My Bullshit Meter Is Reading That As 'false'.

Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even An Elf.

Holiday Traditions

Just Because One Of Arlene's Husbands Was A Murderer Is No Reason For Me To Be Ugly

I Was Momentarily Sidetracked By The Vision Of Eric Herding A Cow Into A Trailer And Driving It To The Shoulder Of The The Interstate And Shooing It Into The Trees.

I Gave Myself A Mental Shake. Snapping Out Of A Slump, That Was What Today Was All About.

I Really, Really Wanted To Lose Awareness Of The Here And Now. The Best Way For Me To Do That Was Bury Myself In A Book.

‎should We Do This Now?" Pam Gave An Almost Inaudible Snort. She Was Smiling In The Glow Of The Streetlight, Suddenly Exhilarated. "you Waiting For An Engraved Invite?" Lord Save Me From Sarcastic Vampires.

I Added To My Mental List Of The Odd Things I'd Done That Day. I'd Entertained The Police, Sunbathed, Visited At A Mall With Some Fairies, Weeded And Killed Someone. Now It Was Powdered-corpse Removal Time. And The Day Wasn't Over Yet.

Well In Two Months, It'd Be Sunbathing Time. That Made Me Smile. I Enjoyed Lying In The Sun In A Little Bikini, Timing Myself Carefully So I Didn't Burn. I Loved The Smell Of Coconut Oil. And I Don't Want To Hear Any Lectures About How Bad Tanning Is For You. That's My Vice. Everybody Gets One.

A Dog – A Collie – Went Up To Eric, Looked Up At His Face, And Growled. “shoo,” Eric Said, Making An Imperious Gesture With His Hand.

A Year Ago,' I Said, 'you Wouldn’t Have Asked This Of Me.' 'a Year Ago,' He Answered, 'you Wouldn’t Have Hesitated To Drink.' I Crossed To The Desk And Tossed It Down.

It's A Sad Comment On Humans That None Of Them Are Tolerable To One Who Can Read Their Minds

They Found The Corpse In The Closet Of Alcide's Apartment, And They Hatched A Plan To Hide His Remains." Eric Sounded Like That Had Been Kind Of Cute Of Us. "my Sookie Hid A Corpse?" "i Don't Think You Can Be Too Sure About That Possessive Pronoun." "where Did You Learn That Term, Northman?" "i Took 'english As A Second Language' At A Community College In The Seventies.

I Love Him," I Said, But Even To My Own Ears I Didn't Sound Happy About It.

As It Was, I Couldn't Escape The Feeling That I Was Out Of My Element. I Found Myself Thinking Of A Book I'd Left Half-read At Home And Wishing I'd Stuck It In My Purse So I Could Pull It Out Now.

Coffe Is The Perfume Of Morning.

Sookie Stackhouse

I Thought About Making Biscuits, But There Seemed To Be More Than Enough Calories On Board.

Don’t Go Looking For Trouble; It’s Already Looking For You.

Appius Livius Ocella Made Mistakes In His Whole Long Existence. Perhaps Changing Eric Was His Finest Hour. He Created The Perfect Vampire. Eric's Only Flaw Is You.

Ha," I Said. "oh, Ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause They Love Me. You See How Many Vampires Are Up Here? Zero, Right?" One," Said Eric, Stepping Out Of The Stairwell.

You Might Have Been Paid Back Enough To Suit You" I Said, "but I Don't Know If You've Been Paid Back Enough To Suit Me.

I Hate Not Knowing What I Did." _eric

I Felt Like A Car That Had Only Been Operated By One Driver… A Car Its New Prospective Buyer Was Determined To Take To The Daytona 500.

This Letter Is Written On The Skin Of One Of The Water Sprites Who Drowned Your Parents.' 'ick!' I Cried, And Dropped The Letter On The Kitchen Table.

Following Simon's Adventures Is Like Being The Pinball In An Especially Antic Game, But It's Well Worth The Wear And Tear.

How Is Eric?' 'very Tightly Wound. Plus, A Lot Of Stuff Happened That He'll Tell You About.' 'thanks For The Warning. I'll Go To The House Now. You're My Favorite Breather.' 'oh. Well ... Great.' She Hung Up.

The Vampire Is Not A Bad Man, And He Loves You

Sookie," Eric Said. I Didn't Think He'd Heard A Word. "yield To Me." Well, That Was Pretty Direct.

Sookie, What Have We Done? And To Whom?" "i Killed A Chicken. And I Cooked It." "sookie, Sookie. My Bullshit Meter Is Reading That As A False." -eric Northman, Sookie Stackhouse

Only A Group Lack Of Imagination Could Account For People Not Wondering What Went On In The Dark Around Them.

It Was One Of God's Jokes That Such A Dumb Mind Had Been Put In Such An Eloquent Body.

Could I Tell Them I Was Sorry Their Loved One Was Dead, When He’d Tried To Kill Me? There Was No Rule Of Etiquette For This; Even My Grandmother Would Have Been Stymied.

Something Always Turns Up. It Always Seems Darkest Before The Dawn. When God Closes A Door He Opens A Window. All Things Happen For A Reason. Into Every Life A Little Rain Must Fall. What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger.

It Wasn't Often You Ran Into Bondage/elvis/whorehouse-themed Vampire Club

Eric Moved The Broom Experimentally And Made An Attempt To Sweep The Glass Into The Pan While It Lay In The Middle Of The Floor. Of Course, The Pan Slid Away. Eric Scowled. I'd Finally Found Something Eric Did Poorly.

Once Again, I Had That Feeling Of Drowning When I Hadn’t Even Known I Was In The Pool

I've Got Libraries In My Blood.

Sookie, My Little Bullet-sucker" Eric, My Big Bullshitter

I Don't Like Having Feelings," Eric Said Coldly, And He Left. That Was A Tough Exit Line To Top.

It Wasn't Enough To Be Kidnapped, I Had To Be Insulted Too.

If I Quit Having Fun, Then It's Time For Me To Quit Working.

Everyone Thinks I'm Crazy, You Know, Because I Can't Tell Them The Truth; Which Is, That I'm Driven Crazy By All These Thoughts, All These Heads.

I Am Here," Eric Said. "and I Am Here." I Was A Little Amused At Eric's Phone Answering Technique. "sookie, My Little Bullet-sucker," He Said, Sounding Fond And Warm. "eric, My Big Bullshitter.

Maybe She Was Being So Hoity-toity Because She Didn't Have Her Own Fairy Godmother.

Fairy Godmother

Because He Sounded So Lost-the Eric I Knew Had Never Been One To Do Anything Other Than Assume Others Should Serve Him-i Patted Around Under The Covers For His Hand. When I Found It, I Slid My Own Over It. His Palm Was Turned Up To Meet My Palm, And His Fingers Clasped Mine. And Though I Would Not Have Thought It Possible To Go To Sleep Holding Hands With A Vampire, That's Exactly What I Did.

Life Had Sure Been Simpler When I Hadn't Dated.

It’s Called Two And A Half Men,” Dermot Was Telling His Guest. “i Understand,” Bellenos Said. “because The Two Brothers Are Grown, And The Son Isn’t.” “i Think So,” Dermot Said. “don’t You Think The Son Is Useless?” “the Half? Yes. At Home, We’d Eat Him,” Bellenos Said.

We Might Be On The Same Page, But I Wasn't Happy About Reading It.

I Could Add Her To The Long List Of People I Didn't Understand.

You Were So Sweet When You Didn't Know Who You Were.

I Want To Be First. I Know That’s Selfish, And Maybe Unattainable, And Maybe Shallow. But I Just Want To Come First With Someone. If That’s Wrong Of Me, So Be It. I’ll Be Wrong. But That’s The Way I Feel.” (sookie Stackhouse)

Oh Come On Pam, They're Funny. They're Like Humans But Miniature...tea Cup Humans!

Do I Look Like I Have Anything ?" I Asked Him, In A Reasonable Voice. He Looked As Unnerved As The Nurse Had. He Said, "sorry," And Backed Away. I Took A Step After Him. I Screamed, "i Have Nothing!" And Then I Said, In A Perfectly Calm Voice, "see, I Never Had Anything To Start With.

The Sookie Stackhouse Novels Were Selling Well Before The Tv Show, But The Tv Show Led To A Lot More Exposure And Readers. And A Lot Went On To Read My Other Work. It Was A Wonderful Thing For My Bank Account.

...but Also Because I Find I Really Do…" He Paused, As If He Were About To Say Something Outrageous. "i Find I Have Feelings For You." "oh," I Said Into His Chest, Sounding As Astonished As Eric Had(...)"eric," I Said, After A Long Pause, "i Almost Hate To Say This, But I Have Feelings For You, Too.

Self-pity Is Like Chocolate; As You Get Older, You Can Only Afford A Little Bit.

Jason's Favorite Person In The Entire Universe Was Jason Stackhouse.

Favorite Person

As The Water Pounded On My Back, I Reflected That I Must Be Pretty Simple. It Didn't Take Much To Make Me Happy. A Long Night With A Dead Guy Had Done The Trick.

You Won't Find A Vampire In A Ford Fiesta

Vampires. They Wrote The Book On Possessive.

Men! Dead Or Alive, They Could Be Exactly The Same.

I Met Elvis In Your Woods One Night,” Terry Said. One Of The Emts Had Given Him A Shot, And I Thought It Was Beginning To Work. “i Knew I Was Nuts Then. He Was Telling Me How Much He Liked Cats. I Told Him I Was A Dog Person, Myself.

I Abjure You,” Alcide Said. Colonel Flood Winced, And Young Sid, Amanda, And Culpepper Looked Both Astonished And Impressed, As If This Were A Ceremony They'd Never Thought To Witness. “i See You No Longer. I Hunt With You No Longer. I Share Flesh With You No Longer.

When You're A Professional You Do Your Job No Matter What Gets In The Way. You Might Take A Sick Day, You Might Take A Personal Day, But Then You Show Back Up Or You Won't Get Paid. Everyone Develops His/her Own Strategy For Dealing With Days That Are Not Productive.

Hey, Our Hair's The Same Color," I Said, Eying Us Side By Side In The Mirror. "sure Is, Girlfriend." Eric Grinned At Me.

Eric, What Are You Doing?" "snuggling." "get Out Of My Bed!" -sookie Stackhouse, Eric Northman

When I Thought Of Eric With Someone Else, I Wanted To Rip Out All His Beautiful Blonde Hair. By The Roots. In Clumps.

I'd Been Blindsided With The Most Painful Knowledge: The First Man To Ever Say He Loved Me Had Never Loved Me At All. His Passion Had Been Artificial. His Pursuit Of Me Had Been Choreographed.

Men Sometimes Have To Leave Their Ladies Alone, And Ladies Are Not Responsible For The Bad Manners Of Fools.

Angelic Sookie, Vision Of Love And Beauty, I Am Prostrate That The Wicked Evil Maenad Violated Your Smooth And Voluptuous Body, In An Attempt To Deliver A Message To Me. -eric

Not One Man In A Million Would Have Allowed Me The Time Without Speaking. I Opened My Mind, Let My Gaurd Down Completely, Relaxed. His Silence Washed Over Me. I Stood, Closed My Eyes, Breathed Out The Relief That Was Too Profound For Words.

Eric Was Incensed, To Use A Good Entry From My Word Of The Day Calender. In Fact His Eyes Were Almost Throwing Sparks He Was So Angry. "this Woman Has Been Mine, And She Will Be Mine" He Said In Tones So Definite I Thought About Checking My Rear End For A Brand.

If It Pleases You And You Can Write At All, It's Gonna Please Somebody Else.

There Was Enough Tension In The Room To Send A Fleet Of The Nervous Running For Their Tranquilizers.

Let Go," He Advised Me, And I Loosened My Grip On His Hands. "no, Not Of Me," He Said, Smiling. "you Can Hold On To Me As Long As You Want. Let Go Of The Pain, Sookie. Let Go. You Need To Drift Away." It Was The First Time I Had Relinquished My Will To Someone Else. As I Looked At Him, It Became Easy, And I Retreated From The Suffering And Uncertainty Of This Strange Place.

Most Humans Were On One Big Island, To The Fairies, And That Island Was Adrift On A Sea Called I Totally Don’t Care.

Very Few Of My Characters Are Totally Heroic Or Totally Villainous.

So You Want Me To Go To A Human Orgy, Where I Will Not Be Welcome, And You Want Us To Leave Before I Get To Enjoy Myself? ~eric Northman

The God Entered Some Women So Completely That They Became Immortal, Or Very Close To It. Bacchus Was The God Of The Grape, Of Course, So Bars Are Very Interesting To Maenads. In Fact, So Interesting That They Don't Like Other Creatures Of Darkness Becoming Involved. Maenads Consider That The Violence Sparked By The Consumption Of Alcohol Belongs To Them; That's What They Feed Off, Now That No One Formally Worships Their God. And They Are Attracted To Pride.

That's Just Not Right," Sam Muttered. "claude Needs To Keep His Pants On.

But There's A Juicy Artery In Your Groin," He Said After A Pause To Regroup, His Voice As Slithery As A Snake On A Slide. "don't You Talk Dirty," I Told Him. "i Won't Listen To That.

You Can Hold On To Me For As Long As You Want. Let Go Of The Pain, Sookie". - Eric, Club Dead.

There’s No Way You Can Kill Someone And Get To The Other Side Of The Experience Unchanged.

Why Don't They Just Take Him Out?" I Asked. I'm Not Politically Minded, As I Guess You Can Tell. Mr. Cataliades Was Smiling At Me. "so Direct, So Classic," He Said. "so American.

I Had Never Realized A Woman Could Have To Struggle To Keep Her Hands Off A Man, But Here I Was, Digging My Nails Into My Palms, Staring At The Inside Of My Eyelids As Though I Could Maybe See Through Them If I Peered Hard Enough.

If This Were The Fifties, She’d Be Checking Sam’s Collars For Lipstick Stains. (did People Do That Anymore? Why Did Women Kiss Collars, Anyway? Besides, Sam Almost Always Wore T-shirts.)

He Pulled My Coat Off My Shoulders, Looked At It With Distaste, Hung It On The Back Of One Of The Chairs Pushed In Under The Kitchen Table. "you Are Beautiful". No One Had Ever Looked Me In The Eyes And Said That. Eric To Sookie, Page 208.

Leave The Girl Alone, Clete, And Let's Get Back On The Road," The Tall Driver Said, And His Voice Had That "i'm Done With You" Edge To It. "i Don't Know Who This Guy Is, But I Don't Think He Changes Into A Nutria.

You've Reached Fantasia, Where The Undead Live Again Every Night," "for Bar Hours, Press One. To Make A Party Reservation, Press Two. To Talk To Alive Person Or A Dead Vampire, Press Three. Or, If You Were Intending To Leave A Humorous Prank Message On Our Answering Machine, Know This: We Will Find You.

My Eyes Flew Open, And I Pushed Back Against Rock-hard Shoulders. I Let Out A Little Squeak Of Horror. "it's Me," Said A Familiar Voice. ..."eric, What Are You Doing Here?" "snuggling.

I Had Two Cups Of Coffee, Put Eric's Jeans In The Washer, Read A Romance For Awhile, And Studied My Brand-new Word Of The Day Calendar, A Christmas Gift From Arlene. My First Word Of The New Year Was 'exsanguinate.' This Was Probably Not A Good Omen.

When You've Been Really Beaten, You Realize That You Are Just An Envelope Of Skin, An Easily Penetrated Envelope That Holds Together A Lot Of Fluids And Some Rigid Structures, Which In Their Turn Can Simply Be Broken And Invaded.

No Matter How We Suffer, We Have An Obligation To Others. We Have To Be Unselfish Enough To Try To Live In The Right Way, So Others Can Get Through Their Own Lives Without Us Fouling Them Up.

"i'm Hoping That The More You See Me, The More I'll Grow On You." "like A Fungus?

Sookie Stackhouse

And You Are Mine, And You Will Be Mine. They Will Not Get You. - Eric From Dead And Gone

Anyone Got X-ray Visión?i Asked, Trying To Smile. Where Is Superman When You Need Him?

He Picked Some Unwise Words. Saying, “i’ll Enjoy Killing You For My Lord”, Is Just Not The Way To Make My Acquaintance.

They Say There's No Harm In Daydreaming, But There Is.

I Love You,” Bill Said Helplessly, As If He Wished Those Magic Words Would Heal Me. But He Knew They Wouldn’t. “that’s What You All Keep Saying,” I Answered. “but It Doesn’t Seem To Get Me Any Happier.

And Since I’m Going To Be In The Neighborhood, You Thought I Might Do As An Escort? To An Orgy?

I Was Embarrased, Horrified And Absolutely Ready To Jump Him!

Who Wants A Bag Of Bones?” He Said, With Absolute Sincerity. “i Don’t Want To Hurt Myself On The Sharp Edges Of The Woman I’m Bedding.

Did You Ever Think That If You Told Me Where Bill's Hiding His Computer Program, I Would Give You Anything You Asked For?" - Eric, Club Dead.

Look, How Come He Showed Up Now? When You Have Other Fairies In The Woods? And Does That Sound Crazy When You Say It Out Loud, Or What?

We Want To Climb In With You,' Dermot Said. 'we'll All Sleep Better.' That Seemed Incredibly Weird And Creepy To Me - Or Maybe I Only Thought It Should Have. I Was Simply Too Tired To Argue. I Climbed In The Bed. Claude Got In On One Side Of Me, Dermot On The Other. Just When I Was Thinking, I Would Never Be Able To Sleep, That This Situation Was Too Odd And Too Wrong, I Felt A Kind Of Blissful Relaxation Roll Through My Body, A Kind Of Unfamiliar Comfort. I Was With Family. I Was With Blood. And I Slept.

My Brother, Jason, Came Into The Bar, Then, And Sauntered Over To Give Me A Hug. He Knows That Women Like A Man Who's Good To His Family And Also Kind To The Disabled, So Hugging Me Is A Double Whammy Of Recommendation.

As Exits Go, That's A Good One." It Was Pretty Hard To Have The Last Word With A Vampire.

My Favorite Fantasy? You Come Down Into My Daytime Resting Place Stark Naked," He Said, And I Could See The Gleam Of His Teeth As He Smiled. "oh, Wait," Bill Said. "that's Already Happened.

What Had Set The Fae World Off? I`d Never Seen One. Now You Couldn`t Throw A Trowel Without Hitting A Fairy.

You Know I Love You More When You're Cold And Heartless.

I Love You More

No Blame, No Hate - Why No Communication?

The Security Light Made Me Feel Safe, Though I Knew That Was An Illusion. If There's Light, You Can Just See What's Coming For You A Little More Clearly.

I Was Surprised To Find Out There Was A Direct Line From My Palm To My, My, Hootchie.

If Hunter Hadn't Been There, I Would've Picked Up The Phone To Call Eric. I Would've Asked Him To Bring A Shovel And Come To Help Me Dig A Body Up. That Was What A Boyfriend Should Do, Right? But I Couldn't Leave Hunter Alone In The House, And I Would've Felt Terrible If I'd Ask Eric To Go Out In The Woods By Himself, Even Though I Knew He Wouldn't Think Anything About It. In Fact, Probably He'd Have Sent Pam.

As I Watched Bill, Waiting With Apparent Calm For Death To Come To Him, I Had A Flash Of Him As I'd Known Him: The First Vampire I'd Ever Met, The First Man I'd Ever Gone To Bed With, The First Suitor I'd Ever Loved. Everything That Followed Had Tainted Those Memories, But For One Moment I Saw Him Clearly, And I Loved Him Again.

I Realized That I Was Really Tired Of People Popping On And Off Of My Property Like It Was A Train Station On The Supernatural Railroad.

Here’s To Books, The Cheapest Vacation You Can Buy.

I Am A Woman, Hear Me Roar," I Said. Gosh, What Prompted That?" Amelia Asked, And I Jumped

Oklahoma Is Very Beautiful, And Eric Loves Beauty, But He Already Has That In You.

This Must Be The Legendary Yankee Rudeness

For Awhile I Taped Soap Operas And Watched Them At Night When I Thought I Might Be Forgetting What It Was Like To Be Human. After A While I Stopped, Because From The Examples I Saw On Those Shows, Forgetting Humanity Was A Good Thing.

I Held On To My Better Nature By My Fingernails But I Held On.

Bill Said, "she Is Mine." I Wondered If My Hands Would Move. They Would. I Raised Both Of Them, Making An Unmistakable One-fingered Gesture. Eric Laughed, And Bill Said "sookie!" In Shocked Admonishment. "i Think That Sookie Is Telling Us She Belongs To Herself," Eric Said Softly.

May I Search It?" She Asked. "we Screen For Weapons." I Stared At Her, Always A Risky Thing To Do To A Vampire. "of Course Not. I Have No Weapons.

I Hate Witches. Humans Had The Right Idea, Burning Them At The Stake.

Hey, Our Hair's The Same Color," I Said, Eyeing Us Side By Side In The Mirror. Sure Is, Girlfriend." Eric Grinned At Me. "but Are You Blond All The Way Down?" Don't You Wish You Knew?" Yes," He Said Simply. Well, You'll Just Have To Wonder." I Am," He Said. "blond Everywhere," I Could Tell As Much From Your Chest Hair." He Raised My Arm To Check My Armpit. "you Silly Women, Shaving Your Body Hair," He Said, Dropping My Arm.

This Was An Unpleasant Trend. I Didn’t Want A Lot Of Guys Popping In And Out Of My Bedroom. I Wanted One Who Would Stay.

We Followed The Bondage Bobbsey Twins Across The Crowded Dance Floor. Those Leather Shorts Were An Adventure From Behind, Let Me Tell You. And The Pictures Of Elvis Decorating The Walls Were An Education, Too. It Wasn’t Often You Ran Into A Bondage/elvis/ Whorehouse-themed Vampire Club.

You Never Told Me All This Before," I Said, By Way Of Explanation. "you All Have Divided Up America Into Kingdoms, Is That Right?

Sometimes, Instead Of Going Down The Road Less Taken, You Just Charge Down The Beaten Path.

He Gave Me A Look Sure To Put Frost On Anyone's Pumpkin.

(sookie's Thoughts On Debbie Pelt) She Had Been Cruel To Alcide, Insulted Me Grievously, Burned A Hole In My Favorite Wrap And—oh—tried To Kill Me By Proxy. Also, She Had Stupid Hair.

I Wish," I Said. "i Could Save Orgasms In A Jar For When I Need Them, Because I Think I Have A Few Extra.

You Have To Play It Out Sometimes.

Finally, A Human Man Saw Me As Intensely Valuable. Just My Luck He Was Happily Married And Thought I Was A Freak.

Vampires Should Never Say Uh-oh!!

My First Word For The New Year Was 'exsanguinate.' This Was Probably Not A Good Omen.

Eric Was Holding My Hands, And I Was Digging My Nails Into Him Like We Were Doing Something Else. He Won't Mind, I Though, As I Realized I'd Drawn Blood. And Sure Enough, He Didn't. "let Go," He Advised Me, And I Loosened My Grip On His Hands. "no, Not Of Me," He Said Smiling. "you Can Hold On To Me As Long As You Want.

Silver, Gold - I Don't Discriminate! I Like Sparkly Things.

I Freely Admit I Know Nothing About Television Or Writing For The Screen.

Episcopalians Are Pretty Thin On The Ground In The Central United States.

Jb’s Mother Had Taught Him Early On That Appreciated Women Are Happy Women.

I Hurt With You. I Bled With You - Not Only Because We're Bonded But Because Of The Love I Have For You. -- Eric Northman

There Were Definitely Parts Of My Character I Didn’t Approve Of, And Maybe From Time To Time I Had Moments When I Didn’t Like Myself Much. But I Got Through Each Day As It Came To Me, And So Far I’d Survived Every Thing Life Had Thrown At Me. I Could Only Hope That The Survival Was Worth The Price I’d Paid.

All The Pictures On The Walls, They All White As Lilies And Smiling Like Alligators.

Bubba Made A Sound Of Disapproval "you're Not Supposed To Be Kissing On Anybody Else, Miss Sookie" He Said "bill Said It Was Okay, But I Don't Like It.

People Fidget. They Are Compelled To Look Engaged In An Activity, Or Purposeful. Vampires Can Just Occupy Space Without Feeling Obliged To Justify It.

I So Seldom Had To Dispose Of A Human Body Myself, I Was At A Loss. Fairies Turned Into Dust, And Vampires Flaked Away. Demons Had To Be Burned. Humans Were Very Troublesome.

Trees Had Died To Make These Forms, And That Seemed A Great Pity To Me.

They Say When One Door Shuts, Another One Opens. But They Haven’t Been Living At My House. Most Of The Doors I Open Seem To Have Something Scary Crouched Behind Them, Anyway.

You Catch More Flies With Honey Than You Do With Vinegar.

No Matter What Happens In Public—no Matter What—don’t Doubt That I Love You And Care About Your Welfare . . . As Much As I Am Able.

Why Was It Librarians Had Such A Prim Image? With All The Information Available In Books Right There At Their Fingertips, Librarians Could Be The Best-informed People Around. About Anything.

Oh. No Wonder I'd Been Sick. I Hadn't Eaten Anything Since Then. I'm A Girl Who Likes Her Meals, So It Hadn't Been A Weight-loss Tactic. I'd Just Been Too Busy Bumping From Crisis To Crisis. Go On The Sookie Stackhouse Narrow Avoidance Of Death Diet! Run For Your Life, And Miss Meals, Too! Exercise Plus Starvation.

I Stroked Eric's Hair, Tucking Some Behind His Ear. His Eyes On Mine Were Intent, And I Knew He Was Waiting For Me To Speak. "i Wish," I Said, "i Could Save Orgasms In A Jar For When I Need Them, Because I Think I Had A Few Extra." Eric's Eyes Widened, And All Of A Sudden He Roared With Laughter. (dead To The World)

I'm Supposed To Be A Christian, But Most Days I Don't Feel Like I Can Even Presume To Say That About Myself Any Longer. I Have A Lot Of Mad Left Over. When I Can't Sleep, I Think About The Other People Who Didn't Care How Much Pain And Trouble They Caused Me. And I Think About How Good I'd Feel If They Died.

I'll Show Up At Every Classroom Open House And Teacher Conference,' She Said, Now In A Voice That Was Almost Frightening In Its Intensity. 'i'll Bake Brownies. My Child Will Have New Clothes. Her Shoes Will Fit. She'll Get Her Shots, And She'll Get Her Braces. We'll Start A College Fund Next Week. I'll Tell Her I Love Her Every Damn Day.' If That Wasn't A Great Plan For Being A Good Mother, I Couldn't Imagine What A Better One Could Be

Pam: "claude, The Mouthwateringly Beautiful Asshole?

Don’t You Just Hate Nights Like That, When You Think Over Every Mistake You’ve Made, Every Hurt You’ve Received, Every Bit Of Meanness You’ve Dealt Out? There’s No Profit In It, No Point To It, And You Need Sleep.

In The World I Lived In, The World Of Human People, There Were Ties And Debts And Consequences And Good Deeds. That Was What Bound People To Society; Maybe That Was What Constituted Society. And I Tried To Live In My Little Niche In It The Best Way I Could.

I'm A Middle-class Former Housewife Who Goes To My Daughter's Softball Games.

It's Hard Not To Respond When A Master Of The Art Of Kissing Is Laying One On You.

By The Way, I Haven't Heard An 'i'm Sorry' From You Yet." My Sense Of Grievance Had Overwhelmed My Sense Of Self-preservation. I Am Sorry That The Maenad Picked On You." I Glared At Him. "not Enough," I Said. I Was Trying Hard To Hang On To This Conversation. Angelic Sookie, Vision Of Love And Beauty, I Am Prostrate That The Wicked Evil Maenad Violated Your Smooth And Voluptuous Body, In An Attempt To Deliver A Message To Me." That's More Like It.

There's Not Much I Dislike More Than Being Addressed As "hey You" And Being Poked With A Finger.

If This Was The Lord Of The Rings And I Had A Smart British Voice Like Cate Blanchett, I Could Tell You The Background Of The Events Of That Fall In A Really Suspenseful Way. And You’d Be Straining To Hear The Rest.

He Managed To Convey Indifference, Contempt, And Boredom In The One Word.

I Had Never Seen So Many Cute Men In One Place In My Life. But I Could Tell They Were Not For Me. Russell Was Like The Gay Vampire Hugh Hefner, And This Was The Playboy Mansion, With An Emphasis On The "boy.

But In My Book, It Was Basically Bad Taste To Stare At Someone's Assets, No Matter How Much On Display They Were.

"come On," I Said, Taking His Hand. Clutching The Afghan With The Other Hand, He Trailed Down The Hall After Me, A Snow White Giant In Tiny Red Underwear.

Do You Sometimes Wish You Could Fast-forward A Week? You Know Something Bad's Coming Up, And You Know You'll Get Through It, But The Prospect Just Makes You Feel Sick. I Worried For About Thirty Minutes, And Though I Knew There Was No Point In Doing So, I Could Feel My Anxiety Twisting Me Up In A Knot. 'bullshit,' I Told Myself Stoutly. 'this Is Utter Bullshit.

The Sweetest Part Of Being A Couple Is Sharing Your Life With Someone Else. But My Life, Evidently, Had Not Been Good Enough To Share.

Life Should Imitate Romance Literature Far More Often.

So, On The Whole, I'd Have To Say That No, People Don't Change, But They Can Learn To Behave Differently. I Want To Believe Otherwise. If You Have An Argument That Says I'm Wrong, I'd Be Glad To Hear It.

You Are Speaking Of My Future Lover. Be More Respectful.

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