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Getting To A Place Where I Am Comfortable Saying Things Was Hard-earned For Me. I've Chewed On The Ground Glass Of My Own Experience. I Saw Gloria Steinem Speak, And I Was Just Like, Shut The Front Door. She Was Saying That She Didn't Come Into Her Own Until Her 40s, And She Was Asking Herself The Question, Why Should She Have To Get Married? And I Just Thank God Someone Asked That Question, Right? I Think We're The First Generation Of Women Asking Ourselves Certain Questions And Deciding For Ourselves.

-Tracee Ellis Ross

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Getting To A Place

Tracee Ellis Ross

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Getting To A Place Where I Am Comfortable Saying Things Was Hard-earned For Me. I've Chewed On The Ground Glass Of My Own Experience. I Saw Gloria Steinem Speak, And I Was Just Like, Shut The Front Door. She Was Saying That She Didn't Come Into Her Own Until Her 40s, And She Was Asking Herself The Question, Why Should She Have To Get Married? And I Just Thank God Someone Asked That Question, Right? I Think We're The First Generation Of Women Asking Ourselves Certain Questions And Deciding For Ourselves.

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It Would Drive The Photographers Crazy Because I Would Giggle And Tell Jokes. I Was Gregarious, And Looking Back, I Realize I Had A Captive Audience.

My Mom Helped Me. I Was Very Shy Growing Up, But My Shyness Sort Of Manifested In A Big Personality.

I Like To Choose Compassion Over Judgment And Curiosity Over Fear.

Wisdom Means To Choose Now What Will Make Sense Later.

It Was When I Realized I Needed To Stop Trying To Be Somebody Else And Be Myself, That I Actually Started To Own, Accept And Love What I Had.

I'm A Farmer's Market Girl, So If You Go And Get Beautiful, Fresh Fruit, That's Local, And It Hasn't Been Frozen Yet, It's Pretty Fantastic.

I Was Very Shy Growing Up. My Shyness Manifested As A Big Personality, As Opposed To The Wallflower Personality. It's Been A Journey Getting Comfortable In My Skin. I've Worked On Trying To Find The Authentic Balance Between The Bravado Of My Personality That Was Sort Of A Defense And The Truth Within My Bigness.

If I'm Going To Show Cleavage Or Chest Then I Don't Show Leg. I Show One Thing. If I Show Leg Then Everything Else Is Covered Up.

Here Is My Wish And My Desire And My Pledge As Well: That We Remember Our True Nature And Our Womanhood. That We Own And Know That We Are More Than Our Bodies And Yet Our Bodies Are These Sacred, Beautiful, Rhythmic Houses For Us.

This Is A Couple That Actually Loves, Respects & Appreciates Each Other.

My Mom Didn't Adhere To Any Of Those Typical Rules. She Woke Us Up For School Every Morning, And Was There At Dinner Or Would Call At Bedtime. She Never Left For Longer Than A Week. She Recorded While We Were Sleeping.

I Don't Know That The Stereotypical Idea Of What It Is To Be A Child Of Somebody Hugely Famous Necessarily Comes Into Play In My Life.

In Some Of The Darkest And Hardest Moments, There Is Always A Part Of Me That Is Okay. And I Can Always Access That Part Of Me.

Differences In Experience, Points Of View And Opinions Aren't What Pulls Us Apart. It's What Pulls Us Together.

And It [acting] Was Exciting To Me. And Scary.

Sometime In My Second Year At Brown [university], I Took An Acting Class. And The Lightbulb Went Off For Me. I Fell In Love With It. I Realized That Everything I Was Afraid Of About Myself, All My Fears, Could Be Used In That World.

Why Am I Beating My Hair Up? Because I Want It To Look Like Something That It Isn't? These Are Questions That I've Been Pondering My Whole Life.

This Woman [bow] Was Not Simply A Reflection Of Who Her Husband Was. She Was Her Own Whole Self. And Even If We Weren't Exploring Life Through Her Eyes, When We Did See Her It Was Clear That She Had A Full Life.

I Think Our Culture Promotes Fear And Shame.

My Mom Would Leave Her Job, And There Would Be Throngs Of People Screaming And Banging On Our Car. I Come From A Very Private Family, But I Was Born Into A Public Family.

My Bathroom Is Filled With Hair And Makeup Stuff And I Play With It All The Time. What The Real Lesson Is, Is That You Can Own Your Own Sense Of Beauty. It Doesn't Have To Be Something You Get From Somewhere Else.

You Might Be Someone's Favorite, But You Might Not Be Someone Else's Favorite. I Will Tell You That There Was A [casting Notice] That Said "tracee Ellis Ross Type," But [the Producers] Didn't Want To See Me. I've Been In This Industry Long Enough To Know That Even If Someone Wants To Promise Me Something, It Doesn't Mean That It's Going To Happen. There Are So Many Things At Play. But It Was Flattering And Exciting.

There Are A Ton Of Foods That Are Great For You, That's Like An Indulgence.

I Wanted Bow's Hair And Makeup And Clothing To Look Like A Woman Who Has Four Children, A Career, And A Full Life. For Example, She Won't Wear Eyeshadow Unless She's Going Out. Because It Takes A Lot Of Time To Put Eyeshadow On. She's A Woman Who Has Style, But It's All About Functionality - She Grabs Stuff From Her Closet.

I'm A Really Big Believer In Self Care. One Of The Ways I Nourish My Soul Is I Eat The Way I Live My Life - Joyfully.

I Have To Take Some Time To Dream Some New Dreams. I Feel Like There's A Treasure Hunt In Front Of Me. A Treasure Hunt That Is Speckled With And Seeded By A Deep-rooted Wild Freedom.

I Think Television Is Doing A Better Job Than Films In Terms Of Representing People, But Television Is Still Not Diverse.

There Is A Way To Be A Woman, Ask For What We Deserve And Be Able To Negotiate.

Throughout High School, I Was Obsessed With Magazines. I Used To Just Comb Through Them And Plaster Things On My Wall.

Getting To A Place Where I Am Comfortable Saying Things Was Hard-earned For Me. I've Chewed On The Ground Glass Of My Own Experience. I Saw Gloria Steinem Speak, And I Was Just Like, Shut The Front Door. She Was Saying That She Didn't Come Into Her Own Until Her 40s, And She Was Asking Herself The Question, Why Should She Have To Get Married? And I Just Thank God Someone Asked That Question, Right? I Think We're The First Generation Of Women Asking Ourselves Certain Questions And Deciding For Ourselves.

I Never Heard My Mom Say, "not Now, I'm Busy." But I Did Have Extraordinary Experiences That I'm Very Aware Were Extraordinary. I Mean, I Traveled Europe Before I Was 12 Years Old, Had Been To The White House Numerous Times. Andy Warhol Photographed Me; Michael Jackson Called Our House.

I Just Want To Say This. I Love Being A Woman. I Love Playing A Woman. I Love Being A Whole And Full Woman. I Am More Than My Parts, And We All Are. And We All, As Women, Need To Continue To Change Our Gaze From How We Are Seen To How We Are Seeing. We Are Full And Beautiful Women, And Let Us Live In That.

I Am Learning Every Day To Allow The Space Between Where I Am And Where I Want To Be To Inspire Me And Not Terrify Me.

Positive Thinking

As A Younger Person, My Philosophy Was Jump Off A Cliff. I Realize Now That There Are Stairs And Elevators. I Am Learning Every Day To Allow The Space Between Where I Am And Where I Want To Be To Inspire Me And Not Terrify Me. I Can Even Ask For Help! Not Feeling That I Have To Know Everything, And That’s Where The Growth Comes In, In The Not Knowing.

Nothing Goes To Windward Like A 747.

Because Of My Unique Experience As My Mom's Child, The Beginning Of My Journey Was More About Me Trying To Figure Out Who I Was On My Own. My Mom Is One Of The Greatest Moms And So Supportive Of All My Siblings And Of All Of Us Being Who We Are, And Not Who She Wanted Us To Be.

I Don't Really Talk About My Personal Life. It's A Strange And Funny And Weird Thing. Sometimes You Have A Conversation With Someone And The Paparazzi Snaps A Picture Of You And People Decide You're Dating. If I Try To Answer Everything People Say, I Would Be Up All Night.

When I'm Not Working, I Spend A Lot Of Time On My Hair. When It's Time For My Hair To Get Some Rest, I Either Wear It In A Ponytail, Bun Or My Favorite "milkmaid" Braid.

The Two Things That I Thought Were Really Interesting About This Character [bow] For Me Were That She Actually Loved Her Husband, And He Loved Her. The Comedy Was Not Coming From The Fact That They Hated Each Other. Which Is What Television Couples Are Usually Based On.

One Of The Photographers Was Like, "can You Stop Talking And Try To Look Sexy For A Minute?"

I'm Extremely Blessed To Have The Extraordinary Mother That I Have, And I Don't Mean Diana Ross, I Mean The Mother. My Mom Paved A Road That Didn't Exist, As Did Oprah.

Somehow [kenya Bariss] Has Figured Out How To Explore These Very Weighty, Sticky, Sharp Topics, And Still Be Funny And Not Make Fun Of The Topic.

I Felt Like It Was A Courageous Show [black-ish] From The Beginning. We Are A Black Family - We're Not A Family That Happens To Be Black. But The Show Is Not Even About Us Being Black. The Show Is About Us Being A Family. That Is Groundbreaking - On Tv, The Black Characters Either Happen To Be Black Or They're The "black Character," Where Everything They Say Is About Being Black. I Think That's The Genius.

I Want To Be Awake. I Want To Choose Kindness, Live & Let Live. I Want Joy, Gratitude, And Peace Today.

I'm Trying To Find My Own Version Of What Makes Me Feel Beautiful.

Just Embrace Your Hair! I Really Feel Like I Am Not An Advocate For People Doing What I Do. I'm An Advocate For People Discovering And Finding What Works For Them.

I Buy What Makes My Heart Sing. So, It's Not That I Follow One Specific Track. It's Sort Of What I Like. I Love Colors. I Love Unique Pieces. I Love Vintage Clothing.

I Was Shy, But It Came Out In A Big Personality. My Turning Point Was When I Let My Hair Go Naturally And I Got Contact Lenses. I Am Really Blind, By The Way. I Have These Big Eyes That Don’t Work!

I've Always Been A Curious Thinker. And Now, As An Adult, I Can Articulate It.

I Sometimes Think To Myself, You're Not Going To Meet A New Friend Of Any Kind At Home In Front Of The Tv With Your Dvr. As Much As It's Great, And There Are So Many Good Shows On Tv, And I Have Great Books That I'm Reading, Get Out And Interact With People.

I Hope They Look At Me And Think, 'that Lady Looks Like She Accepts Herself'.

Self-care Of All Kinds Is A Huge Part Of My Life. I Really Encourage Other Women And Other People To Really Put Self-care - And That Includes The Beauty Regime, How You Eat, All Of That - Into Your Body.

I Was Recently Watching Rihanna On The Billboard Awards, And I Was Like, My God, She's Incredible! And Then I Looked Up Her Age [28]. She's Always Been Talented. She's Always Been A Star. But When You See Her, She's Becoming Herself. It's Age That Happens. That's What I Respond To.

I Was Spoiled When I Worked In The Magazine World. Fashion Closets Are Heaven And I Seem To Model My Organization After A Fashion Closet.

When You Feel Happy, You Look Beautiful.

You Look Beautiful

We All, As Women, Need To Continue To Change Our Gaze From How We Are Seen To How We Are Seeing.

The Clothing, The Makeup, The Freedom Of Expression In [the Models'] Bodies. It Was Linda And Christy And Naomi At The Time. So I Modeled Before College.

My Generation Is One Of The First Generations Of "choiceful" Women - Women Who Have Actually Had The Choice Of How They Architect Their Lives - And I Don't Think Shame Should Have Any Place In That. But As That Generation, You Get Cuts And Bruises.

Someone Asked Me Recently, "do You Get Sick Of People Asking You About Your Hair?" And The Reason I Don't Is Because I Actually Feel Like You Could Chronicle My Journey Of Self-acceptance Through My Journey With My Hair. It's A Badge Of Something Bigger.

After College, I Shot A Pilot For A Show On Lifetime, Which Was Basically House Of Style For A Tv Lover. I Think I Got Paid $1,500, And I Was Like, "mom, I'm Moving Out! I Made It!" I Did Two Seasons Of That, But I Felt Like A Talking Head And Wanted To Do More.

[black-ish Creator] Kenya Bariss Wrote On Girlfriends. We've Been Friendly Since Then. He Sent Me [the Pilot] And Said, "i Wrote It For You." But I Know What That Means In This Industry.

One Of The Things I've Realized Is How Portable God Is. No Really, He's Everywhere!

I Was Cast In A Movie [originally] Called Mr. Spreckman's Boat, Starring Marcia Gay Harden And Jennifer Connelly. I Felt Like An "actress." Both Of Them Have Won Oscars - Maybe That Means I Might One Day.

I Don't Have The Luxury Of Not Going To Work When I Don't Feel Up To It. Most People Don't. On Those Days, I Acknowledge I Am Feeling F-cking Crappy, And I'm Not At My Best, And I Still Want To Or Need To Keep Walking Forward. I Have To Do Some Of My Best Work On My Worst Days. I Have To Look Pretty Even When I Don't Feel Pretty. There's A Way To Hold Both Things.

Sometimes I Feel Like Art Is Supposed To Mirror Life, But Strangely It's As If Art Is Trying To Catch Up To Life, To A Certain Extent?

I Doubted Black-ish , And I'll Tell You Why. Because It Doesn't Matter If A Writer Wrote It For You. He Could've Written It With You In Mind. But Tv Is A Collaborative Art. It Involves Producers, Networks, Studios, And Many People Signing Off On You. And A Lot Of Times There Are Deals In Place - Actors With Studios That They're Looking For Shows For.

Black-ish Is Really A Show About An American Family And These Are Some Of The Topics That Come Up - For All Of Us, In Different Ways - And We Get To See How This Family Is Walking Through It.

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