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Even If You Are Catholic, If You Live In New York You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You Are Going To Be Goyish Even If You Are Jewish.

-Lenny Bruce

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Even If You Are

Lenny Bruce

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Even If You Are Catholic, If You Live In New York You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You Are Going To Be Goyish Even If You Are Jewish.

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If I Get Busted In New York, The Freest City In The World, That Will Be The End Of My Career.

Cities In The World

If You Live In New York, Even If You're Catholic, You're Jewish

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Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.

...catholicism Is Like Howard Johnson, And What They Have Are These Franchises And They Give All These People Different Franchises In The Different Countries But They Have One Government, And When You Buy The Howard Johnson Franchise You Can Apply It To The Geography - Whatever's Cool For That Area - And Then You, You Know, Pay The Bread To The Main Office.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

To Say Whatever Nonsense Comes Into Your Head Without Any Repercussions Has Got To Be A Bigger High Than Heckling A Movie Screen In A Darkened Theater.

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Even If You Are Catholic, If You Live In New York You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You Are Going To Be Goyish Even If You Are Jewish.

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Certain Things Are Complete Superstition And Have No Validity At All In The Bible. Yeah. They're Just The Antithesis Of Everything That Is Correct Intellectually.

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Now A Jew, In The Dictionary, Is One Who Is Descended From The Ancient Tribes Of Judea, Or One Who Is Regarded As Descended From That Tribe. That's What It Says In The Dictionary; But You And I Know What A Jew Is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And Although There Should Be A Statute Of Limitations For That Crime, It Seems That Those Who Neither Have The Actions Nor The Gait Of Christians, Pagan Or Not, Will Bust Us Out, Unrelenting Dues, For Another Deuce.

I Think It's About Time We Gave Up Religion And Got Back To God.

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The Thing With Catholicism, The Same As All Religions, Is That It Teaches What Should Be, Which Seems Rather Incorrect. This Is What Should Be. Now, If You're Taught To Live Up To A What Should Be That Never Existed - Only An Occult Superstition, No Proof Of This Should Be - Then You Can Sit On A Jury And Indict Easily, You Can Cast The First Stone, You Can Burn Adolf Eichmann, Like That!

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Satire Is Tragedy Plus Time.

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