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Each Letter Has A Shape, She Told Them, One Shape In The World And No Other, And It Is Your Responsibility To Make It Perfect.

-Kim Edwards

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Each Letter Has A

Kim Edwards

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Each Letter Has A Shape, She Told Them, One Shape In The World And No Other, And It Is Your Responsibility To Make It Perfect.

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Grief, It Seemed, Was A Physical Place.

It Seemed There Was No End At All To The Lies A Person Could Tell, Once She Got Started.

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Norah Looked At Her Son’s Tiny Face, Surprised, As Always, By His Name. He Had Not Grown Into It Yet, He Still Wore It Like A Wrist Band, Something That Might Easily Slip Off And Disappear. She Had Read About People – Where? She Could Not Remember This Either – Who Refused To Name Their Children For Several Weeks, Feeling Them To Be Not Yet Of The Earth, Suspended Still Between Two Worlds.

He Could Hardly Imagine Anymore What His Life Would Be Without The Weight Of His Hidden Knowledge. He'd Come To Think Of It As A Kind Of Penance. It Was Self-destructive, He Could See That, But That Was The Way Things Were. People Smoked, They Jumped Out Of Airplanes, They Drank Too Much And Got Into Their Cars And Drove Without Seat Belts.

I Think That The Whole Child Welfare System Has To Be Totally Taken Apart And Built Up Again. Have An Agency Just Specifically For Those Follow-up Cases.

She Had Died At Age Twelve, And By Now She Was Nothing But The Memory Of Love-- Nothing, Now, But Bones.

Her Voice, High And Clear, Moved Through The Leaves, Through The Sunlight. It Splashed Onto The Gravel, The Grass. He Imagined The Notes Falling Into The Air Like Stones Into Water, Rippling The Invisible Surface Of The World. Waves Of Sound, Waves Of Light: His Father Had Tried To Pin Everything Down, But The World Was Fluid And Could Not Be Contained.

No One Could Suspect The Intricate Mysteries Of Her Heart.

It Wasn't Right. He Knew That, But It Was Like Falling: Once You Started You Couldn't Stop Until Something Stopped You.

Each Letter Has A Shape, She Told Them, One Shape In The World And No Other, And It Is Your Responsibility To Make It Perfect.

I Love To Swim, And I Love Being Near Water.

...and The Distance Between Them, Millimeters Only, The Space Of A Breath, Opened Up And Deepened, Became A Cavern At Whose Edge He Stood.

You Can't Spend The Rest Of Your Life Tiptoeing Around To Try And Avert Disaster. It Won't Work. You'll Just End Up Missing The Life You Have.

Rest Of Your Life

So Something Had Begun, And Now She Could Not Stop It. Twin Threads Ran Through Her: Fear And Excitement. She Could Leave This Place Today. She Could Start A New Life Somewhere Else.

All That Sunny Afternoon, Traveling North And East, Caroline Believed Absolutely In The Future. And Why Not? For If The Worst Had Already Happened To Them In The Eyes Of The World, Then Surely, Surely, It Was The Worst That They Left Behind Them Now.

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His Love For Her Was So Deeply Woven With Resentment That He Could Not Untangle The Two.

He'd Kept This Silence Because His Own Secrets Were Darker, More Hidden, And Because He Believed That His Secrets Had Created Hers.

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But She Had Felt Since Childhod That Her Life Would N Ot Be Ordinary. A Moment Would Come- She Would Know It When She Saw It- And Everything Would Change.

He Had Handed His Daughter To Caroline Gill And That Act Had Led Him Here, Years Later, To This Girl In Motion Of Her Own, This Girl Who Had Decided Yes, A Brief Moment Of Release In The Back Of A Car, In The Room Of A Silent House, This Girl Who Had Stood Up Later, Adjusting Her Clothes, With Now Knowledge Of How That Moment Was Already Shaping Her Life.

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She Didn't Love Him And He Didn't Love Her; She Was Like An Addiction, And What They Were Doing Had A Darkness To It, A Weight.

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It's Funny How Things Seem Different, Suddenly.

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That There Were Other Worlds, Invisible, Unknown, Beyond Imagination Even, Was A Revelation To Him.

There Was Something Not Quite Right About Her Eagerness, An Eerie Kind Of Voyeurism In Her Need For Bad News.

Once, This Whole World Had Been Hidden Beneath A Shallow Sea.

He Carried Paul Inside And Up The Stairs. He Gave Him A Drink Of Water And The Orange Chewable Aspirin He Like And Sat With Him On The Bed, Holding His Hand...this Was What He Yearned To Capture On Film: These Rare Moments Where The World Seemed Unified, Coherent, Everything Contained In A Single Fleeting Image. A Spareness That Held Beauty And Hope And Motion - A Kind Of Silvery Poetry, Just As The Body Was Poetry In Blood And Flesh And Bone.

In Some Deep Place In Her Heart, Caroline Had Kept Alive The Silly Romantic Notion That Somehow David Henry Had Once Known Her As No One Else Ever Could. But It Was Not True. He Had Never Even Glimpsed Her.

Then She Had Been A Fiancee, A Young Wife, And A Mother, And She Had Discovered That These Words Were Far Too Small Ever To Contain The Experience.

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The Place Was A Familiar As Breath But As Far From His Life Now As The Moon.

A Fear Paul Had Transformed All These Years, Like A Gifted Alchemist, Into Anger And Rebellion.

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...bleak Territory Of The Heart.

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Lately, The World Felt Fragile, Like A Blown Egg, As If It Might Shatter Beneath A Careless Touch.

The City Of Pittsburgh Gleaming Suddenly Before Her . . . So Startling In Its Vastness And Its Beauty That She Had Gasped And Slowed, Afraid Of Losing Control Of The Car

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